TRIANGULATION AND THE NARCISSIST (MUST WATCH)
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
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Wow. This is my final education as I've been studying NPD and watching this series of Andrew's videos. I ignored this aspect of the abuse because I didn't want to appear to be jealous. I ignored so many attempts at triangulation and occassionally pulled him up on it only to be called "jealous". Who the **** was I with??? 😢 How is it all such textbook behaviour? I dont understand why people are so evil.
😌😌💯
@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Good morning to you in Costa Rica from here in the UK, keep up the excellent work!
Realise that it’s great you don’t understand the behaviour. If you understood it, you’d be one of them. It’s a great thing that it makes no sense 🎉
You are Stronger than you know.
Triangulation makes a person question their value. Red flag. It’s because the narcissist is insecure. It’s about them not you.
Completely correct.. so true
Yes!!
Bingo
Facts!
Triangulation is horrible especially when the narc sits back and watches 2 women fighting over him. They're disgusting
It is Val.. disgusting 🤢 perfectly described
i will never fight for any man
Happened to me!! The ex came after me hard and threatened me and I was all for it cause she came totally in the wrong!! They love this shit!! Its disgusting!!
When my soon to be ex husband tried to do that with me. I served him with petition for divorce. No way I am playing his sadistic game. He is now being hog tied by my lawyers.
Girl I didn't fight, now I see it as released & healed. Why does amnesia hit when it's happening? It wasn't a good marriage with narc abuse. Good luck to the new supply right? Heaven help them lol
I think it's really hurtful when a narcissist compliments everyone else but the person they're with.
My ex husband even pushed me in the bushes he saw someone else.
Kept walking like I was never there. They are evil vile people.
Been there. Crazy
Yes, indeed. Upon meeting one of my ex narc’s woman friends, she asked if I was visiting (his house. She didn’t know who I was.) I said to the narc, “You answer that”. He SHOULD have introduced me as his girlfriend and told her my name. Instead he replied, “She pretty much lives here.”
Hi Andrew, I know this is a year old video but I've only recently discovered your channel. The fact that you're talking from personal experience makes it even more poignant and I'm sorry you went through such heartache but praise for using your experiences to help and educate others. I was in a relationship with a toxic person for six years. Not sure if he's a narcissist but a lot of what you say sounds like he probably is. I'm not sure if you will get to read this but maybe someone else here will and give me their thoughts on whether this was narcissistic behaviour on his part. So we were in the very early stages of the relationship and dining out (my treat as it so often was because he kept a tight pocket). We were served by a very young waitress (say about 16 or 17) wearing a short sleeved polo shirt (we were both early sixties). He remarked that he'd fallen in love with the waitress because he loved how she looked in her top, not that it was revealing in any way but simply because she looked so sweet. He was gazing at her with a dreamy smile on his face and I was so in love with him at the time that I couldn't see it as a red flag. I was even agreeing with him as only someone who has been under the spell of a narcissist would understand. He knew that I had low self-esteem and didn't like wearing short sleeves. Also I'd never worn a polo shirt, at least not since I was very young. Next day we were browsing the market stalls and there were polo shirts on offer so he bought me one. I felt grateful especially as he didn't like parting with his money, but I knew it was something I'd never wear. He'd ask why I wasn't wearing it and I'd make some excuse like it's in the wash. I felt like he'd be comparing me to the young waitress if I did wear short sleeves and I felt ashamed of my sixty year old arms. Or am I reading too much into his behaviour. Could he just have been behaving like a 12 year old? Thanks for reading and best wishes to you all. Love how everyone helps each other.
@@Jessica-zf2df no it's spot-on. You were dating a narcissist.
For a Narcissist, love is a transaction
Completely agree 🙏💯🙌
Why is it so easy to forget all this stuff. ❤
Such a cruel trait of the Narc, but so very childish and when you don’t play their game, you don’t react, they have a tantrum
Then when u don’t respond or say “no” they give u the silent treatment, another 2 year old tantrum. I said let’s make the permanent! 11 & 1/2 months out no contact & I feel great!! Yes he triangulated me with a so called friend/ employee under me. What a joke of a person saw that mask fall real quick!! 🥴🤢🤮 disgusting behavior found a 42-year-old! Took me about seven months to figure out things weren’t adding up!!
Exactly 💯.. it’s their way or the abuse mounts
Yes, you are absolutely right 💯They become narc injured, when their game fails, and will take that rage out on the people closest to them.
@@coloradoavsfan6942 Glad you got out.
lol
I feel like my whole relationship with the narc was triangulation. And I agree with you. It's vile.
Thank you Becca 💯🙌💯
Me too Becca. Vile is an understatement ❤️🙃
Let's smile a lot today, happy because we know how to love right!
😃😃😃
Thank you , yes couldnt agree more . We do know how to love right. ❤️ And we didnt do anything wrong for just loving . 😁
Yes, we do! What a great way of looking at things, I need you in my life, 🤣😂
Horrendous when a parent does this with three siblings. Destroying the whole family then blaming it all on one child.
Thank you Helen 🙏
Ah yes and when that kid leaves the ‘next’ one is selected
It is so horrible when adult do this to a child! Child is so innocent and just want to love and be loved. And when the love is conditional - well i think that narc. cannot love - the child mental health is destroyed. Narcissist only want that the child will obey, be as she/he want, is trofy, is silent but knows when to speak, do what ever the narc. want and still will put child down. Narc. really is discust for the child to be so innocent and weak. And the triangulation is so easy with kids. Narc. really enjoys when he/she sees that child believe him. Siblings fall apart and be jealous because narc. will twist then agaist each other. But that is not enough - narc. will also f.e.x. tell own children that "those neighbour child are this and this, you arent. You are horrible child. " And they would love if i would be their parent/granma ."
Horrendous, ill ppl, end evil. 🤬
Bingo. My current situation. My daughter triangulating with my brother and mother. Suits them apparently. Fits their definition of me. Fortunately they do not define me. They merely think they do. Insecure people do NOT define me nor control me as they have this silly notion they can... The worst part though- I’m the “selfish bitch” according them them. This behavior comes with consequences. Those consequences can come in the form of no contact. And will. And they feel so self righteous. Astounding. Truly is...
I was triangulated for 9 months, it started 1 month into the relationship, eventually my anxiety got so bad I literally couldn't carry on with it even if I wanted to, breaking the trauma bond was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
Thank you Andrew for these great videos!
Welcome 🙌🙏💯😊
I’ve experienced this. They manipulate emotions and reactions because they either did not get love freely and easily as children or had to throw a tantrum to get it. Now they have subdued their manipulation into what presents as triangulation, inciting your jealousy so they have proof you love them. Distortion.
I'm going through this now
My narcissist tried for 2 years to triangulate me with women who were strangers. Women find him attractive and would even hit on him in front of me. He'd claim, "Most guys would love this, but I think it's weird." I could literally feel him empowering his ego with each woman, either in real life, or social media that wanted him. He even bragged about "the most beautiful women he's ever seen" requesting to be his friend on fb. I know this is off topic, but 4 years ago I found my identity in God. I know it might sound cheesy to some people, but as the sovereign creator's creation, I am a somebody. Without that power, I would've killed myself over this evil, malevolent abusive relationship. The only thing that became out of my triangulation is I got active, lost over 100 pounds, quit drinking alcohol everyday, and told him he could have the other women because I know he'll never find anyone that is like me and this channel reaffirms that.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
Been there, done that. He triangulated me with his new supply to get her to adapt to his demands or he would go back to me.
I felt incredible used and humiliated. I had never heard about triangulation and fell straight into the trap.
God thing though is now I’m vaccinated against it for life.
Excellent comment.. wow.. that’s a topic for a video ☀️🙌🙏
Glad we know now!!! 💪🏽 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
I've been there and done that too. I was caught up in triangulation. It was disgusting to the core. I didn't know about narcissism. I educate myself now. Thank you Andrew, you helped me heal.
Happening to me now with his new supply. At least that is what I am thinking 🤔. His new supply showed up at my house asking for information about him
My now ex was acting very weird the last 6 weeks we were together. We had stopped arguing in terms of he didntget angry for the whole of march this year. But he was always on his phone after months of saying he hates phones. There doesn't seem to be anyone obviously new. He did add his brothers ex wife and seems to be crushing on her he's even started using Instagram to follow her. But he was also on a fb photo liking spree last weekend. So I think he's hunting. I'm sure there was someone else he was talking to though. Strange behaviour.
i used to play a game with myself and count how many other women he would bring up when we were together (mostly “exes” though no one is really ever an ex to them). He also would “casually” bring up “oh helen and i used to come here all the time” when we went to a restaurant. um…ok. i was never a jealous person until the Narc trained me to be. He also loved sending me screen shots of something and making sure other conversations with women were there. Because i’m 12 years younger i finally realized he was doing this on purpose to make me think he’s in high demand. truth is, no one wants him. Everyone dumps him or blocks him. He is playing a number game and chats and dates as many as he can and hopes some stay around for a while. It ruined my self esteem. His insecurities were being pushed into me.
Thank you for sharing this insight 🙌🙏💯
“Truth is, no one wants him” 🤣 Facts
Happened to me. Brought exes up all the time. Few months in, I was so DONE. I finally said good they can have you. Trust me he was a total loser.
Happened to me as well. He was 11 years my elder. True psychopath to do that to someone way younger. I was only 21 when I fell into the trap. Educating oneself is key.
Happened to me as well. He was 11 years my elder. True psychopath to do that to someone way younger. I was only 21 when I fell into the trap. Educating oneself is key.
Triangulation is really the most Devious
The problem is complaining about it no one uderstands you.and even make u look strange.Tks for being so empathic
Keep up the good work.Andrew.
I will Stella. God bless you
This literally just happened to me.He spoke to two women behind my back on my friends list ABOUT me even.He said he needed advice from a good Christian woman.Thwn he turned around and tried to say I sent them to him to test him..I am chuckling, literally predicting his next move.Like he did this knowing that these women were my enemies.Not one woman ,but two.
My narcissistic soon-to-be ex husband triangulated me with his sister. He was always talking to her at length on the phone, and then he'd be silent with me. He told me they were "good friends". She was single, the same age as me, and we even had the same name, so it all felt really weird. Within months of us moving in together, he was having secret phone conversations with her behind closed doors. And the worst: I got an email from him once that was meant for his sister in which he was throwing me under the bus! He said he'd sent it to me "by mistake". He regularly gave money and gifts to his sister in order to keep her loyal to him. One time she showed me a kayak that he'd bought her after telling me we could not afford kayaks. He used his relationship with his sister to emotionally abuse me.
I understand completely 💯🙏🙌
My ex did that as well. I can only describe it as flirting with each other. Her husband and I would be the third wheel to that duo!
My ex shoved the new supply in my face constantly. Asking me to go round to our house even after I was kicked out. I then used to sit there looking at gifts, cards etc...that had been given by the new supply. It was all left out on purpose for me to see. My ex used to sit there blatantly lying to my face about who the new supply was with this sick smirk on her face. She even made a person up who didn't exist to throw me off who it really was, which of course turned out to be someone I knew and exactly the person I suspected it was all along. Left all the clues out for me to see and enjoyed my reaction. Such purposeful and evil behaviour.
I understand this completely Lisa.. 💯💯
Sounds exactly like my covert ex narc.. would leave female shit not mine of course all around his house and car and when I reacted emotionally he would just stare at me, super calm almost like he was looking through me while in was having a breakdown. He tried throwing me off too, it worked, the confusion still messes with me till this day. They’re evil EVIL things (not people)
Your ex sounds despicable. To contrive triangulation situations to get some sort of perverse pleasure from your upset reaction is somewhat sick.
When they start doing this...they are telling you...you're on your way out...they are working on their next victim...It happened to me! But they want you to think they Are totally innocent! Like you....I'm totally living my best like now.🤗🤗🤗 I will NEVER be with a Narcissist/Sociopath
Amen 🙏
Man same... the narcissist literally admitted after ONE WHOLE YEAR that he was just trying to make me jealous when I was literally there being emotionally tormented in so much pain. Was all just FUN for him
I understand completely 😉🙌💯
yeah, they 'test' you to get a reaction, then minimise it as though it was nothing and blame you for being jealous, insecure etc...crazy making
@@simjam1980 truly AWFUL EVIL people. They don’t even deserve to be called “people” to be honest
He used to love telling me about the many females who adored him and even showed me photos of women who allegedly fancied him. Also told me how kind his ex was and she had so many properties and offered him to move to her country and they could live off the properties she rented out
Hi Aries.. my hope is you are well.. the narcissist is manipulative and cruel.. triangulation is disgusting 🤢 IMO.. I experienced this also .. never again 💯🙌
Mine used to hide my glasses when he took me out so when he disappeared I would not be able to see what women he was hitting on. Thats how I ended up being tossed on the street on Xmas eve after only months of being married. He showed up on my brothers doorstep and 30 days later I woke up in his house not knowing how I got there, I was planning on divorcing him but whatever they gave me made sure I didn't make it to the court date. He just told me after 23 years that when he went to court to take his wife home or go back to prison. They had no right to make that decision for me.
Omg mine ex husband used to tell me the exact the same story. His ex was nice and rich, but he chose me out of kindness of his heart
I was both love-bombed and triangulated simultaneously from the outset, though did not realise that was what it was. But I was not happy about it and I did challenge it. I was triangulated with everybody and everything. There always seemed to be him at the apex of the triangle and me and A.N.OTHER at the two points of the base.
Over time I recognised the narcissism and I felt sorry for the narcissist's fragile ego and need for constant 'stroking' . This was actually rooted in a raft of insecurities about his mixed race ethnicity, height, level of education, rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-riches life story etc.
Ultimately a sad guy, who did not appreciate what he had in me. He would even flirt with other women in front of me - I tolerated it and just pitied him.
Once he was showing me photos of women in corsets, suspenders etc in a magazine - he was literally drooling over them.
We were at a fencing competition. Then a fit young guy came out to fence, in skin-tight white breeches, so I pointed out the lad's fabulous physique and muscles. My partner fell silent in a sulk and went off to 'have a rest in the car'! I let him go, grabbed a coffee and watched the fencing.
So funny! Narcissists can dish it out the triangulation but not take it back... I found that the best way to teach him how it felt was to give back what I got.
So eventually I became as transactional as he was - and he soon noticed that the light in our relationship had gone out.
Eventually, I split up with him and faced instant and violent narcissistic rage.
That was 26 months ago and I have been no contact since. My guess is that there has been a new supply who has been through all of the above, only a lot faster. She will have received the flowers, the wine, the dinners, the chocolates, the perfume etc. and she will have been triangulated with women on the TV, in magazines, in the bar, at parties and so on.
Leopards do not change their spots. Hopefully, she realised more quickly than I did.
Anyway, last week a notification cropped up that the narc is now following me on social media, which gave me a wry smile.
I have not reacted. I have done plenty of research and now know all the stages and the terminology. Perhaps an attempted 'hoover' will be next.
Channels like this are great at strengthening ones resolve, so thank you, Andrew. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for sharing this.. sincerely.. I appreciate you being here..🙌🙏☀️
I felt the way you explained the apex!!! I also understand being love bombed AND triangulated at the same time. I used to feel sorry for my narc but I don't anymore as I left him before thanksgiving. Good luck to you on your journey 🙏
Well done for going no contact and staying strong. Unfortunately I share my children with a Narcissist. I used to do the same thing with him...pointed out how much more successful other men were compared to him. I know it's not my proudest moment but I learned from the best - him.
Loved your story! He went "to rest in a car". Narcissists love dishing it out, but absolutely cannot take it. You destroyed him on the spot, so he went to " rest in the car". I applaud you!
Mine used to sing karaoke 🎤 and I never got up. Once I was persuaded and actually did sing, i asked him to watch me. He got up, went to the bar chatting and turned his back on me. When he next got up to sing himself, instead of watching and praising him, I got up...went to the bar chatting and turned my back on him ! He was shocked and said why did you do that ? My response ...karma sweetheart.. he sulked for hours. Xx
This was spot on Andrew. These people have a huge hole in their soul. There is absolutely nothing you can do to fill it or fix it. No matter how hard you try. When I learned that I was able to do what I needed to do for myself.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
It is so sick. It happened to me when narc kept pining over his married sister-in-law (he was widowed 🤔) and was in my face about it. And just random younger women he knew. Like I didn't even know these people. Pure evil.
Pure evil is spot on 🎯
Sick and twisted evil demons
God YES!!! Triangulated with their family..their customers...their employees...and their possessions, and finally the new supply..this guy really must have hated me for whatever reason
They can’t get enough of abusing anyone
He hated himself nothing wrong with you . They need no excuse !
I guess they are torn between wanting to hang with people, and just hating people.
The absolute worst. Unfortunately, it is my daughter. Very cruel and evil. Needed to hear this today. Thank you, Andrew, for all you do. Namaste 🙏❤️
Welcome 🙏🙌💯
So interesting that you say that small things keeps popping up.
It still does that for me too almost two years after the final discard. Not at all as often as during the first year but when I find my self in specific situations or conversations I can get a flashback of a situation I had forgotten about and I can see how abusive and manipulative the relationship was.
You are just not able to see it when you’re still in the relationship.
That’s my experience Maya.. I believe it will be this way for a long time.. very long actually
I feel like I have been doing the post mortum of the end of my marriage for years.
Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I was blinded until I read about narcissism. Now i fully understood this demonic disorder . X
I'm 5 years in and I'm still getting flashbacks. it seems to get more and more rare with time. still, every now and then one creeps up.
@@georgiabertram5930 just saw your post, Im coming to that realization as well. It seems the more I stepped up my faith the more the neglect and triangulation.
I’m with you, I find this to be a detestable thing to do to someone who loves you, but narcs are set out to ruin people. Its infuriating. It’s not a good feeling being compared to someone else, and might even make you question yourself. I try my best not to react to the foolishness, as narcs get off on a reaction from something they did to you.
Thank you for sharing this.. I feel the same.. it’s manipulative and disgusting 🤢
They are incapable of healthy love.
My estranged husband triangulated me with his coworkers wives, always telling me what their wives were doing for the other coworkers. He triangulated me with his mother, his children from a previous marriage. I have been with him for 17 years and he turned his entire family and my family against me. It’s a great thing now because I realize most of the people that turned against me are toxic anyway. I’m so happy now and I’m getting better everyday. Your videos are making me feel better too. Thank you,
Welcome Tina 🙌🙏☀️.. I appreciate your kindness and am grateful to be able to share my experiences and insight with you 🙏🙌☀️
I had the same shit mate, my ex Narcissist would bring up guys names that we worked with and openly tell me about blokes that had chatted her up in clubs while in the devaluation stage, as you say, it's a way of getting you to up your game or else you'll be dumped. I tried to make her see how she made me feel and she just laughed it off knowing that she had me where she wanted me. Needless to say I got discarded a couple of months later when I faught back, and put my foot down. Disgraceful girl she was, manipulation by way of love bombing, calling me the love of her life, bestie and soulmate, all fake and with the aim of keeping her and her awful brats supplied with my money. Never again !!!! Karma is coming to get her !!!!
Thank you Tim for sharing this 🙌☀️
Agree completely , it's a cheap , nasty , petty , dirty little trick , only shows they have no self respect , no Love, they are willing to rely on simple physcological triggers , while the rest of us learn , that's just being nasty .
Agree completely 🤢🤢.. it took a little out of me to create that video.. I was putting it off.. it’s still a sensitive one for me
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone like physio therapy the soreness eases with exercise,
The tough one for myself was during the relationship my ex would make little statements that , you could only scratch your head . If you pushed for a better explanation , usually resulted in a flippant , you will see , or if I have to explain it you won't get it . On one occasion it was the expression , and gesture she used .posing for a picture , bye , bye now! So as to let me know she faked it all , planned it all , the sabatoge , smear campaign and alk , and still gets tp.play the victim . I get all this things now . She was planting little land mines for the future . To them this proved how crafty they were . How phsycologically deranged do you have to be ? Deranged is the proper description . They are sick , sick , sick , deranged, and dangerous individuals . Your use of terms such as vile , disgusting are precisely accurate descriptives ! And just think how ugly of world they live in Andrew , that they can justify such vicious , and vile behavior . They are already living in hell .
Simple as that: As soon as there's a third party involved, leave!!!!!
Drama triangle: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. Covert narc likes to play victim, casting you as the Persecutor, and their Flying Monkeys as emotional Rescuer. Alternately, they like to play Rescuer to their Flying Monkey Victim(s) of your perceived Persecution, to justify talking trash behind your back EVEN WHILE LOVE-BOMBING you to your face. Complete insanity (in addition to vile & disguesting@), glad I got out of it. Really appreciate this channel, so much clarity & healing.
Welcome 🙏 SuzieX
Been through this before and it's awful too. Mine did that to me all the time. He always made me feel like I wasn't enough for him or good enough for him at all.
I understand Kristen..🙌💯💪
Triangulation is disgusting behaviour. I didn't know what it was until I started researching narcs. I'm disgusted at their filthy ways.
Agree completely 🙏💯🙌
Being with a Narcissist who also has Borderline Traits - that is a ride you will always wish you never bought a ticket for - that person nearly destroyed me. Realising after it is all over - it is like it is never ever over because at least for me - I felt so STUPID! Feel so stupid on some days.
Sending prayers and positive energy to you 💯😊🙌
Triangulation was one of the catalysts that helped destroy my trust and relationship with my ex. It’s truly disgusting. Then they claim you are insecure and jealous. You know what would make me feel not insecure, you not trying to make me insecure.🙄
He emailed me from a trip he was on in LA telling me he was sorry for asking a girl in a shop out, going out with her and how it just didn’t feel right. At the time it was as though he was trying to tell me he liked me more but now I realise it was triangulation
Yes is certainly sounds like it.. thank you for sharing Marny..💯🙌🙏😊
I'm 67 years old. Two friends of mine that I've known for over 50 years suffered a separation through death a couple of years ago. The female survivor sought out my friendship in a way that I perceived as inappropriate. She is almost 80 and I am not attracted to her in that way. In an attempt to gain my attention, she found a friendship in another neighbor widow who is only 54. She triangulated me with that neighbor in a rather nasty conflict one day. The almost 80 year old and the 54 year old drove in front of my next door neighbors house in a golf cart that they had supposedly gone in halves in purchase. I had been warned a couple of hours before their arrival by the 54 year old that if I had wanted to avoid conflict with the almost 80 year old, that I had better do her yard or else. I was helping my next door neighbor in a simple touch up paint job and was accused of not helping the almost 80 year old of not her doing her yardwork, even though I was only days after major hernia surgery. She screamed at me and said that if I couldn't do her yard by the end of the day, she'd find someone who could. I had only been doing her lawn cutting out of friendship. I'm done. I walked away, and haven't spoken to her in almost two years. When I say almost 80, she will be 80 in April 2022, so she is no shrinking violet. She is mean, horrible to wait staff, store staff, and people who walk in front of her house. How could I have been friends with someone like this for so long?
Thank you for sharing this insight Jeffrey.. I appreciate your honesty and kindness.. 🙏🙌☀️my hope is you are healing and improving.. God bless you ☀️🙌🙏
Excellent content. These people are utterly demented and ruin peoples’ lives. Glad you’re putting your knowledge and experience to good use.
Thank you 🙏🙌☀️
Trianguliation by abusing my grandchilderen to hurt grandmother, that is realey discusting 😮
Wow, you were there with balloons and a banner and yet she needed more. It makes me sick. Thanks for explaining the word. Bless you too.
I appreciate your kindness..sincerely 🙏🙌💯💯
The way they let others overstep the boundaries of your relationship Is also a form of triangulation because they will act as tho they don't know why that other person is behaving that way, but in actuality they've opened the door for it and they use it to make you hate specifically that person without having any fault.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🙌💡
starting fights and calling cops on you when you walk out to stop argument and then falsely accusing you of abuse...
What I hate is they triangulate you and you get suspicious of them cheating then they call you insecure.🙄
💯💯😉
Any change we can laugh about it at some point? We should. The truth is they want to be like we are! HEALTHY LOYAL.
Amen 🙏 ☀️
God I'm so sorry anyone has these kind of relationships. Bless you man🙏 I was 27 years with one of these people. Two years out and still the psychological warfare continues but Im not biting. Leaving this chaos behind is the most beautiful heartbreaking process. I want a real human to 💕!!
Amen Connie ☀️🙌🙏.. God bless you
12 yrs for me
@@peacefaith560 bless you!!
Wise words in your heart 💜
I’ve only been out couple months and I’m trying not to feel lost in my heart I gave away 7 years of what? I’m Broken! Repairing years of my self back together it kind of hurts sometimes!!!
I love the way we have been able to dissect the narc and put into simple terms how they always function , by doing this we it stops our brains and emotions getting tangled into knots of confusion and also helps us all arm ourselves with shields of defence we all need to protect ourselves going forward 😎😎🙏
This is the reason our community was created.. helping each other.. sharing experiences.. and moving forward 🙏🙌☀️💯❤️
This happened to me… my sister and my ex. They were both using triangulation. It put me in hospital
I understand completely..☀️💯🙏🙌
I agree Andrew it one of the most devastating weapons in their arsenal. Triangulated every way possible. Totally humiliating experiences for me, and when I tried to explain how much it upset me, was told ? Yes you know I imagined it, I'm too sensitive blah, blah, blah The experience made me feel ugly, and worthless. The positive appreciation you give us all, is soothing YOU think about that for a minute, and take a bow Thank you
I appreciate this comment asprospitti.. thank you for sharing 💯🙌☀️🙏
You described triangulation in such a personal way and made me realize just how much that happened to me. It would literally crush me when it happened and the narc would tell me I’m being too sensitive. This was really good.
Thank you 🙏💯🙏
Pretty much every day with the narcissist. Glad this form of abuse is coming to light.
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Yes love, the flash backs bubble up! And you go oh shit ! They were playing me!
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This happened to me when I first dated the narc, he told me how a women we both knew was really attracted to him and I was like so confused as to why he would tell me such a thing but I was in love so I brushed it off. How stupid I was not to have seen the first signs of a narcissist. So sad 😞. Love to you all. Julie 🙏💕
Thank you for sharing Julie 🙏💯🙌
My ex would say things like “she said I have a peachy bum” or “she’s messaging me wanting to meet up” he would say these things ALL the time! I’m so glad I see it the light now ❤️
They want you insecure as hell.
Such an interesting topic. Lots to learn about it so we can rise above it. It's all suply to them! They try to make us jealous. But it is them being insecure and very, very mean. It's their entitlement too. Let's validate ourself today, knowing we are the normal loving ones.
Agree the narcissist is insecure and cowardly
Hahaha, mine would say: "Sarcasm?"
The cruelty with their Harem is Evil
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You don't see it in the beginning because you're Sincere. Once You get aware; you'll see it coming!!!
It makes you work so much harder and while you’re working harder, they doing Nothing… But it showed me what I needed to work on as far as self esteem n self worth… Blessings ♥️🙏🏾
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She said her ex was doing repair work at her job…I was like wtf at the time…but now I know that was a lie..Done multiple times…
The last narc ex kept on triangulating me with the male bestie, and it continued into the day of discard. I only realised after the discard that they were 'sex buddies'. Triangulation is really disgusting and shows an absolute lack of morals in the one doing it.
Absolutely correct..💯💯💯
Neither can I. Thanks for the reminder of how bad it was. Andrew, I had a tape recording of him yelling, screaming ,& threatening me that I saved so that if I was ever in a situation that I needed it, I could remember how bad it was...so I would NEVER try to make amends.
My ex went on a solo trip, called me to tell me he’d gotten drunk in a hot tub with some random hot women, oh, and btw he was sharing a cab with a scantily clad, very young woman, who happened to sit on his lap, and he could feel things through her dress (whatever that means - I dissociated). It is truly disgusting.
I understand completely 💯💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thank you so much! I’m having that same reaction you described, and now I can point to a million different times this has been done to me. It’s wonderful of you to share your journey with us, so we can learn from you and heal.
The triangulation happens insidiously. At first you notice it from the Narc, then another family member and another and another…. In every direction… the triangulation compounds in multiples until everyone is against you and you are alone, injured & dying. Learn about it from Andrew before it happens to you.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌🙏💯
I can't stand triangulation either! I have had this happen. It is demeaning and hurtful. Before I caught on which was after years, it made me doubt my worth. It can be so damaging.
Everything is a contest for a Narcissists...they want to gain more ground ..that means eliminate the competition..the more people they get into drama, conflict, lies...in their sick being the more they win.
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First this happened with my spouse triangulating with my sister and then later with our daughters; there were many other examples but these were the most confusing and devastating. Like you stated, one enters into this situation innocently and with good intentions and ultimately end up being played for a fool in the mind and intention of the narcissist.
I was a Peace Officer most my career. I was seduced at age 53, by a "familiar" man who swept me off my feet. The most wicked abuse was the triangulation.... exactly as your describing.
He made this confident, high value, loving woman into a low esteemed, lowest of value, anti-trusting piece of "supply".
Guess what though.....
I have knowledge now, I am learning more each day. I will not stop spreading the knowledge until narcissist people can become aware of their game of cruelty.
Thank you for the teaching👍
Welcome always ☀️🙌🙏
After a year of wading trough all the post toxic stew I finally had a couple of great things happen to me and it feels totally surreal , because the narc had embedded into my brain that I don't deserve it , which had also been projected into many others in my life , including family ! Humble pie and self derogation had become the order of the day , so now these things have happened it's like Pandora's box opening up and a bright light shining on me for the first time in more than a decade ! 😎😎🙏
Fantastic news.. you deserve to be happy and enjoy all the goodness and abundance that bestows you ☀️🙌😃🙏💯💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You too , my empath friend 😎😎
Don’t be a softy you’ll get crushed. What we now use such elaborated terms like “triangulation” are just regular every day human behavior, don’t like it: say it, leave it, choose differently. “Narcissists” are needed in the world for it to function as it does, you can only be free of them if you go to live in the forest… Believe me we can learn from them, we can live with them, we can also use their wonderful traits. Just go prepared and ready to leave, never get attached to someone if you see any kind of toxic behavior no matter who they are, never give away your power. The word NO is powerful.
Thank you! I was in a relationship with a narcissist and I am healing now with the help of your videos. Thank you I appreciate your words of encouragement. I thought I was going crazy now I realize it was him!
Welcome Theresa 🙌💯💯
my narcissist would tell me about the girls that was interested in him and message him how hot he was. He would see them too. i didn't understand why he would tell me that until i had enough and told him off. i'm understanding their traits more each day. thank u for the videos
Welcome 🙏🙌💯
I loved this one...”This women was so beautiful it hurt my eyes to look at her”. Ok what am I supposed to do with that!🤦♀️ it just made me feel less than.
Yes.. the words they use are completely manipulative and destructive.. I experienced similar..💯💯
Long before I experienced triangulation in so-called "adult" relationships, here is one from my childhood. My mother used to take me aside and talk badly about my Dad, making me extremely uncomfortable. That was the first triangle. Then she took my sister aside and told her stuff about me. Since I was the older one, I was my mother's confidante, see above, for better or for worse. My sister sensed this and was jealous. We were children then. A little later, as a teenager, on Sundays, I would often sleep late, tired from a week of school, or reading all night. I will never forget that one winter day, when my sweet little sister who I always protected, came into my room, lifted my blanket and threw a snowball under it. Then she ran out the room laughing: "Mom says Hi!" Just like my mother, she turned out to be a full-fledged narcissist, a master of triangulation. I have learned to recognize triangulation for what it is - devious and evil - that's why I am here. Thanks, Andrew!
Usually when you tell something to the narcissist that she will accept as a criticism the triangulation comes up immediately as a backfire and now when I think about it it's basically all the time and about anything!
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Sometimes I forget how entrapped I was but I must watch these videos to remind myself how far I’ve come with gratitude for my compassion and courage I give myself!
You are on the path.. continue to become educated and empowered 🙏😉🙌💯
You can use the word ugly- that's exactly who they are inside.🤗
Real life examples, and these are from the euphoric stage even. 1. Sitting at a diner and she does a flirty smile at another person. I asked what that was and she tells me I looked at other women the day before. Triangulation AND blame shifting. 2. She goes to a bridal shower and texts that she’s having a good time and “even met a really nice guy.” I question it and she laughs it off, “I was talking about my friends future husband.”
This folks all the time. Triangulation, and IT IS the worst thing they do! Agreed.
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Thx for this....really appreciate it. I seem to be a narc magnet...was married to a very abusive malignant narc and I walked away (left everything) not knowing what narcissism was but just that SOMETHING wasnt right w him. As soon as I was divorced, a coworker shows up pretending to be my friend. I recognized the red flags recently and just want to get away from her b c she uses work as a way to insert herself into my personal life. She makes a point to call me at the end of every week to say crap to trigger me (I think to ruin my weekend). She also uses our boss to triangulate and covertly threaten me. SO SICK of it! I just want away from her asap but have to find another job first. If I ignore her too much, she causes trouble for me at work. She has made my work and personal life a living hell for the last 4 yrs!
I appreciate your honesty and sharing this L.. thank you 🙏💯🙌
My h did this to me for years. This was the hardest for me too. He compared me to one other woman for decades. Her hair color is his favorite, sex with her was exhilarating, his exact words. And I fell into it totally. I tried harder !! I was married 45 years, I'm gone and ill Never go back.
I understand Linda..💯🙌😉
I can relate so much to your stories. I understand you to the core. Good luck and I wish you strength
Thank you 🙏🙌💯
Thank you Andrew. It’s so true and it is disgusting.
Talking about you behind your back to his family and friends. Playing the victim and painting you out to be selfish and unreasonable. You then see them and can sense a change. You also realise after years that nothing is private. He shares all our business including the children’s.
Thank you for sharing X
Welcome joanie.. always 💯🙌🙏
So true! In the meanwhile I even asked myself if he really knows that other person or if it's just "the other person in the backround" that's there for giving me an inferior and insecure feeling. Maybe maybe narcissists need the third person so that they can feel safe. But for you who wants to be in a trusting connection with the narcissist this behaviour is pure venom and in the end the reasons don't matter.
Thank you 🙏🙌💯
I was triangulated by him constantly then him telling everyone that “ Oh she is so insecure and jealous “ She’s jealous!! ImAnd would tell me.. She’s just a friend. And then I found out that he told other women that he met on dating sites that I was just his “friend “... sigh
Anyhoo... Andrew, I thank you dearly for your wisdom and purpose to speak awareness on this subject! I have been on a roller coaster of emotions during the this holiday season.. and you have given me strength to continue to process all of the memories and think about the deceit and not the good times during the love bomb stage... The exact same thing happened to me when I picked him up at the airport. And it brought back a memory when I flew out to see him and we went to the grocery store and ran into his new or one of them supplies.. and he said quietly to her.. as she was holding her grandson.. poor baby that this is my “Girl”... the look on her face was astonishment. I asked him who was that.. oh just a friend!!!
WOW!
Actually it was a year ago to the date that you made this video!
I would also love to include that you so made me laugh and giggle!! Thank you Andrew for your love and wisdom!! Yesss! I am healing! One day at a time! God Bless you! Peace, Blessings, and love! And congratulations on your new move! Welcome back to the states! 🕊☮️❤️💓
This opened my mind so much! I felt the lightbulb go off.
My last relationships and my family does this. It all makes sense now. I would always fall for it and afterwards ( usually after a small argument or emotional abuse/ bullying from them) I would think " what heck just happened? Why did I even feel the need to prove myself to them? They don't even hear me anyways...:
For a long time and even now at times, I wondered if truly mattered or if I should keep living... sense I was always " ah, well, everyone else is asleep, busy, or whatever, you'll do for now".
I even had a few tell me this below ....TW by the by
"No wonder why you lose all your friends and all of your ex's cheated on you. You're too much to deal with and ask for too much... I bet your mental illness isn't even real.
And eve if it is, get over it. Everyone goes through trauma. Some even worse then the sexual abuse and r*pe you received.
You knew the guy/s who did that and it wasn't family. So it's not that bad. He was your boyfriend, even as 15 year old you could've stopped it. Especially if he was actually 24 yr old, like you claimed.
You just want attention that your father never gave you. I actually know ill people and they can do more then you and have a better attuited on life."
These statements nearly killed me at the time but now I see how evil these people are.
They're the true demons and monsters of this world. No matter how bad they break us or try to. We will never be like them, ever.
Wonderful video, Andrew :) Thank you for helping all of us and giving a safe space to learn, heal, and share
💡💡💯🙌☀️🙏
This hit home even the airplane story he used the exact same one on me lol. Then he told me he got off the plane and this person that probably never existed told him he had great taste when she saw his now ex-wife and I am thinking and why are you sharing this with me. He was always putting his ex-wife on a pedestal to me it was weird. So glad this is now shared so we can guard ourselves against these horrible individuals.
Me to it's horrible 2.5 years I put up with it....I had to walk after the last one he tried to triangulated me with...that includes the 20 times I had left before what a fool I was to put up with all the hocus pokus crap...nobody understands this unless they have been through it...
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
I was triangulated with her sister in every argument we had, I felt bullied. Also she mentioned her exes all the time
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Great video, thank you 🙏🏻
I had a narcissistic work colleague who was trying to get my attention for months, then one day he started to nonchalantly tell me that he hadn't got a Christmas present yet for his girlfriend. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend 🤯 he previously told me that he was divorced. I felt sick. I remember how giddy he was aswell, watching my reaction.
Then a few weeks later, he was stonewalling me. Talking to everybody else, but not me. But because I never reacted, he eventually asked someone else to say 'Hi' to me.
Triangulation is twisted for sure.
Thank you for sharing this 😌🙏💯
I totally agree, Andrew. Triangulation is the worst! It happened with my ex-narc so much with at least 3 different women (the first being his ex-wife). In hindsight, I feel so foolish for buying into his excuses & lies. Once I clearly saw the pattern, I was done!
I appreciate you sharing this..💯🙌☀️
@ Wishpool ^ : don't feel foolish - you were simply duped by a very adept con-artist . The way we all have been .
Your remark was 4 months ago , I sincerely hope life is MUCH better for you now .
@@a.c.4732 Thanks for your reply and validation! It's been just over 2 yrs since my ex-narc discarded me for new supply. It's been grueling, but things are finally getting better. One day at a time! 🙂 I hope that you're doing well, too!
@@Wishpool thank you , Yes - this channel is an absolute godsend ....
When mine did the Final Triangulation,
because I moved out.
He stated how I needed to get out of our home because other women want him and he can do better than me.
And a bunch of other toxic shit!!! That last for hours 🙄
I calmly sat there with no facial expressions.
I knew what he was doing.
So I waited for him to do his thing-
Once everything was great and everything was combined.
Living, famiy, friends, money, bills...
He began the head games
And then some.
100% EVERYTHING NARCISSISTIC we read about. Mind blowning!
Well back to that night-
(After dinner every night he started going to the garage for hours online with other women)
So he ran his mouth and off he went to the garage.
I started loading the car and moving stuff out very very quitly and coming back for another load.
I had been slowly getting everything ready to go for months/ he had no idea.
And I got my own place and just waited for the perfect moment to leave.
He came out hours later and I was almost done.
Talk about SHOCKED 😯
He was completely freaked out 😳!
I said, so calmly and PEACEFULLY-
You know what...
Your right. So... you need to start dating other people, because I'm not what you are looking for.
He ran his mouth at the perfect time because he lost his job, back tax issues and the list goes on.
He had HUGE problems-
That He Caused.
He was clueless that I was on to him.
I had dealt with Narcissistic people before so when he flipped his switch I decided to lay... and wait... plan...
Then strike.
Poof
Left him
Moved into new home
Bought my brand new car
Went to work and was extremely disrespected by the Narc boss-
Clamly walked out and started a new job 1 1/2 hrs later, making 2xs the pay.
None of them knew how strong I really am-
I'm in the know a long time now.
In 24 hrs I changed my whole life on a dime.
No contact 4 years now.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
I know all about it....It really is distgusting.....we cant let it happen again ...healing together one day at a time🙏🤗🙏👁👁😇namaste
Namaste 🙏 thank you 🙏
This tactic of triangulation is really dangerous. Once a person used me as an object of her tales and another man got very much aggressive against me. This could cause an ugly clash.
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This is SO spot on!!! The narcissist I was dating would say after a month of being an absolute dream little comments to put me down like “wow I love brunettes” when I’m clearly blonde. Then it went all the way towards “nobody will ever love you bc you’re worthless” in a small time of 5 months
I understand completely 🙏💯🙌💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone i don’t think I’ve ever told anyone in my entire life they aren’t worthy of love. I kept saying back to him “I think we are all worth love” and he’d go INSANE. Besides that, when I removed myself from the situation stalking behavior intensified on his side. I stopped looking at his page almost a year ago but he still makes fake accounts and uses his brothers accounts to check on me daily. Why would he do this if he told me I was so worthless?
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone actually in the entirety of my life I’ve never been so verbally abused by someone it was shocking
Mine would watch me straighten my hair and ask me why I don't curl it. Or he'd say you'd look nice in bold colours like red or black. Because he knew I loved wearing pastel colours. I never felt good enough
@@elsie8966 at first I was like wow I’m being too sensitive brunettes are beautiful too! Then later I was like “I wouldn’t ever say that to my partner” it’s just a slow degradation strategies meant to undermine your self confidencez
My narcissist mother has done this to me and my half brother all my life. I hate her for it.
Sending prayers and positive energy to you 💯🙌🙏
I'm so sorry you were subjected to this insidious type of narcissistic abuse. In hearing your story I realize once again that they have their playbook
If I had a dollar for every person that was treated this way right after the wedding usually on the honeymoon I would have a lot of dollars. Just think about it how crushing it would be to bring you down to the cruel reality, that's what they love the shock and pain that this does will bond you to them. As counterintuitive as that sounds but it works!! If you think that these imaginary rivals giving her complements were bad.......When a person cheats normally one would think they don't want to get caught right? Not! The narcissist wants you to catch him! He wants you to feel jealous and out of control bc this way she's or he's in contro! What do the victims do? They compete like you said like a puppy they try to please they both up their game and the narcissist just laps it all up.l
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌💯
I experienced this with my brother. My brother pinned my mom against me as he knew I was waking up and was going to know who he really is.
I had no idea about triangulation and as you explain I realise it happened to me throughout my relationship. I walked into the lion's den, oblivious to the traps, snares and dangers ahead of me, exactly like a puppy dog. What a wake up call! Thanks for teaching me these new words and concepts.
Welcome always 🙌☀️🙏
My toxic narcissistic Ex, when he came home from the hospital, he triangulated me that his acquaintance, soon to be his girlfriend charged his phone, cleaned his mother’s cabinet. At first, it hurts. Then, I replied “that’s all.”. Married with him 36 years.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏
I remember my narc telling me during the first lockdown how she had been contacted by ex boyfriends of hers to ask "how she was getting on."
I felt uncomfortable about it at the time, specifically about why she felt the need to tell me this.
I know now what it was and why she was doing it.
I understand this completely.. it’s disgusting IMO 🤢🤢
The narc text me and said his good friends, after 7 years, find it hard to be around me, he said that he stood up for me and told them that I am a great girl but they didnt take it well, and its basically my fault that he does not spend time with them anymore.... is that "triangulation"? and or just insanity!!
Triangulation certainly L Rubio..💯💯
Just realised Andrew, learning about this terminology, that this occurred on several occasions- it is vile. My narcissist used to tell me all about his beautiful female co-worker who he considered to be a friend and because she was gay, she was just “one of the boys!” but on one works convention she dressed very femininely and was stunning and he said he was shocked. He then went on to tell me that all night this co-worker kept telling him how funny he was, how handsome he was and how young he looked and how she loved working with him. He then said to me “what can I say, I bet I could turn her straight” - how dreadful is that! X
Thank you for sharing this Polly..🙏🙌💯
Another sick for of manipulation
My ex would do this almost everyday I was so sad and crying everyday and she didn’t even care.
I understand completely 🙏💯🙌
Wow !! I hate triangulation so much too. My example, ( and I just have to laugh now ) is when my ex narcissist told me that his deceased wife let him go to bed with another woman for his birthday. I didn't believe him, but its just disgusting either way. I can't help but wonder if he really thought I would gift him with another lover . Crazy indeed.
Thank you for sharing this Tina..🙏🙌💯😉
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone sure... it pained me to see how badly you had been hurt. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Kudos to you for taking all that pain and utter disgust to help others. What an angel!
I always from a young kid stayed out of triangulation. I recognized it and Normally try to steer clear of it
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