FOSTER CARE & HOW WE DEALT W/ FOOD ISSUES 🥰🥰
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- Опубліковано 13 жов 2022
- We were foster parents for 11 years and a majority of the children that came into our home had some kind of food issue, whether it was hoarding, food or feeling like they had to take and hide food or some of them just didn’t eat the right foods, and so when they were introduced to foods that they weren’t familiar with they either would refuse to eat them or they would get sick. So my husband and I thought  what you sent of different ways to help children when they were in the home just to know that we would make sure they had food. We would let them be a part of deciding what we would eat. I would have snack cabinets just to help them because they had enough to deal with them to have to worry about whether they would have another meal when they woke up
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Do I have any ability to be a foster parent?! No... Did I watch this entire video?! Yesssss!!! Thank you so much for this. I think your wisdom applies to everyone, not just children who live in different homes. You are so wise and have such a great way of explaining things... Never stop being you!!!
I rescued a cat once and gave it to a rescue organisational. Once I found out he was at the vet getting fixed and "was all alone" I cried for hours. So I "tried" to foster him and after 2 days, I adopted him. There is no way I could foster a child, either I would want to adopt or try to keep my distance after a couple of emotional meltdowns when the children left. Those are not good options for the children, bio families or myself.
Girl, same
Same here!
OMG - same!!!! I love her so much - so genuine. This was helpful info - as always.
Same! And I agree with all of the above. You are such a blessing!
She is so SMART. It's not about her.
It's all about the children.❤️❤️❤️
My grandmother was a foster mom. The first thing she did was take them shopping for new clothes. Sneakers and dress shoes, everything, underwear and socks, dresses, outfits winter coats because they came with a black garbage bag of ill fitting and sometimes just full of holes and stains. She gave them choices, and they got to pick them out depending on their ages. They had chores and responsibilities. We always called them our cousins. We caught fish, and she would clean them and cook them over an open fire pit. We were so proud of the bass and cat fish we caught. We all shared everything. I keep in touch with a few, and I have the best memories. ❤❤❤❤
Food insecurity is a huge problem with foster children! Thankfully, kind people such as your family eased their anxiety. God bless you!
Best foster mom ever honestly I was in foster care for 9 years. (12-21 I'm 25 now) and I honestly would have moved countrys to have someone like you as a foster mom, mine was the complete opposite of you and seeing how good you are with these kids makes me so happy that not everyone is going through what I had to.
Thank you so much. And I’m so sorry to you. How are you doing now ?
@@Justthebells10 I think it's fantastic that you incorporate your kids, in the kitchen. I knew someone who wouldn't help teach her granddaughters how to cook. So when you said you incorporate your children in the kitchen
It's awesome of you to do that. Every child needs to learn how to cook!!!
As soon as my kids were big enough to reach the counter when sitting or kneeling on a chair (whatever was comfortable for them) I let them help in the kitchen. Besides helping, there are so many aspects in cooking that help them in life. It helps their math skills, reading skills, cooperation, patience, so many things & it’s a wonderful bonding experience. Both of my sons now cook for their families. I have a daughter who has Down Syndrome. She’s. 42 & she loves to cook with me, especially baking. Last year she helped make chocolate dip pretzels & after showing her how to do it, she did a great job. Just like Bell’s foster kids, you could feel her pride! Kids need to feel pride & independence. They also need to know that you trust them & if they make a mistake, so
What, we made mistakes in the past & we’re going to make more. I agree wholeheartedly with everything Heather said & then some.
The sandwich story got me... bless these children and protect them
Don't ever be sorry for loving these children . They need you to love them like this .
For making them obsess, maybe.
I’m over here laying in bed watching this entire thing, crying right along with you, and I’m not a foster parent or parent at all! I just appreciate how much you care and how you truly see these kids for who they are as humans. You’re an incredible person and I’m grateful for everything that you’re doing for them. This is a special household. I don’t know you or your family, but I can tell there’s real love there. You can just feel it. You are so appreciated for all that you do, even by strangers on the Internet ❤️🤗
👍👍👍👍100%
Completely agree 100%. Only parent I've been is to my dogs. But truly appreciate these videos. On how I grew up makes me feel I don't know makes the gaps get filled in on what should have been when I was a child I don't know. But love your videos nonetheless
💯 %
Amen. I had foster children that had food fixations. Nobody ever warned us of that. Heartbreaking.
Heather thank you so much for talking about this. Food was a serious issue with our daughter, she went through hell before coming into our home. She was only two but would start to panic when she could smell food cooking and I would give her a cheese stick to reassure her. I truly believe that if you have gone hungry that wound reaches into your soul.
The foster system needs more parents like this. 👍
Yes
As a highschooler living at home whose only allowed to eat at school, the bare minimum meal and constantly worrying whens the next meal… and tearing up when I saw a teacher sipping a hot cup of coffee, I really wish more parents were like you… My family has money, we are upper-middle class, its just that my mom doesnt think I deserve to eat. Food is very powerful and can affect my entire mood if i eat or dont eat, so yeah… your kids are lucky to have you 💕
Awww 🥹
Selma PLEASE go speak to your guidance counselor or even the school nurse... They can help you get meals confidentially! As a teacher i was easily able to help the little ones. As a high school student your best bet is your guidance counselor. There are children that for different reasons, we provide breakfast, lunch and even a bagged meal for them to take home! Please say something to someone that you trust sweetie, you deserve to eat and there are confidential resources available. 💗
@@valtoton2982 My school is aware of how Im treated at home. Last November, my guidance counselor reported it to CPS and they conducted an investigation, I didn’t want to go home with my mom, who denied all the allegations against her and basically made me look like an “attention seeker”. I am legally blind and have other disabilities, so of course its going to be her word against mine. I recently told my school psychologist how I dont get to eat at home. She asked the lunch lady to give me an extra of whatever is being served (if there are any left) she did that one time and never did again because its only if there is extra left. Teachers and adults always tell us to self advocate for ourselves, but when we do, they dont really care… They didnt act like it was a big deal that Id go hungry a lot, which just makes me feel even more un-deserving of food, but Its just affecting me because Im workinv so hard to maintain at least a 4.0 GPA. Hunger is difficult because it doesn’t go away, and my parents wont let me have a job bc they dont want me to be independent and leave them. Thank you for the advice though, and taking the time out of your day to comment to a stranger.
@@Justthebells10 come on Heather you really blew this! Awww?
@@reneesheltra696 I'm thinking maybe one of the kids wrote that. Maybe helping her on their videos. 😬
I literally cry everytime mama bell talks about foster care I really pray that I could have half of her wisdom and be able to be a foster mom someday when my kids are older and I have a larger home.
Your family works because you're a real mom! Not a UA-cam mom!❤️
❤💯
This
Yes I used to dread going to my cousins for a sleepover because my aunt would serve dinner and never offer seconds, have the cabinets locked at night to keep us from getting snacks or having certain snacks way up high so we couldn’t reach. She did it because my cousin struggled with her weight as a child so my aunt had the intention to have her lose weight, but it only created eating disorders and for my cousin to get bigger in weight.
Horrible 😢
@@Justthebells10 very horrible 😭
I don't think I will ever understand how a person can choose to foster and NOT give kids the proper care?? It is a choice to BE a parental figure to them. A loving, patient, kind individual who they can put their trust in. How in the world can someone take in a child from a bad situation...and put them in a bad or worse situation than they came from? Much much love to those who truly care, you are special people.💕 Thank you Heather and Luke fir being those people.
This is what I don’t get. I have gone through the process and it’s long and hard. Why would anyone ever go through all of this just to hurt these kids? The money is not enough to cover the necessities much less enough to be a motivating factor. You have nothing to gain from this, the only valid reason to do this is to help these kids.
I’m 64 years old and a former foster child and cried many tears watching this. I’m amazed by your understanding of foster kids and want you to know it makes a difference.I remember living in a place that my sister and I were not allowed to talk about our parents because it was their fault we were in a foster home!Also not being allowed to get food when we wanted it.Despite it all I consider myself lucky that I wasn’t physically or sexually abused.Mental abuse that’s another story and of course you carry it with you all of your life.Thank you for making a difference in your foster kids lives!
I'm so sorry you had a bad experience in foster care but I do hope that you have had a great life made the best of every little situation that wasn't exactly right at the time that was a foster parent for a little while to a boy who just kept running away one night he ran away from my house three times I kept getting in my car and chasing him around the block finally we came nose to nose and I said if you just give me a chance you will see I'm not the enemy but if you feel the need to go just let me know and I'll take you wherever you want to go and he ended up staying,, now he's in his late thirties married and has kids of his own but I really didn't like being a foster parent and I never did it again it's a hard job
Ignore the negative comments... If you are not held as a shining example and such a fantastic inspiration to all.
Can I just say that I ADORE YOU. This world is a better place with people like you and your husband. Thank you so much for your amazing kindness! ❤
I’m crying with you.. I cry for all the children in the world living in despair, hungry, scared. Children are innocent angels that need so much… To be honest I’ve never cried so much in my life than I have these past two months. Your videos bring so much light in my life. Watching you being you is healing.
This Is a very important topic. I was adopted and my parents adopted 11 kids and had 3 of their “own” so 14 kids total. I know more stories about kids being upset about food or them hoarding it BECAUSE they were Starved or other food issues. My dad passed away about 2 years ago but after 30 years almost my mom still is fostering even after my dad passed and I’m proud of her. I am an adult so I don’t always see all her foster kids because yes foster care is about reunification. I’m glad you treat ALL the kids the same no matter how long they stay. It’s also rewarding seeing those kids that did go back home but they never forget of my parents names or our names so I actually still get messages from a foster child that lived in our home. I am much older then almost all the kids in my family and my sister and I were the first kids adopted in my parents house. So I have gotten to see like a 3yr old that remembered us and reached out when they were 18. It’s a rewarding journey as a foster parent/family. We change lives. We change perspectives. That’s important. Thanks for sharing this video brings me back to when I was a kid. 😊🙌 Also, THANK YOU for Saying “It isn’t stealing food if they got something out of the family fridge” THAT IS A VERY IMPORTANT THING. Always remind a foster child there’s always going to be food. Also, THANK YOU for saying “don’t say I know your birth mom didn’t do this or that” wow this is an important topic and I love everything you said! May God Bless you and your wonderful family!
I 1000% agree with EVERYTHING you presented in this video. Having food insecurities is only magnified by rules and restrictions. Food is something that we all need….the drive to worry about it can be very strong. Thank you for your understanding and tender heart.
I was in the foster care system when I was young. Now I'm 42 years old, a single mother of a 14-year-old and 21-year-old which are both mine biologically but I was considering fostering and you pushed me over the edge I'm going to make that leap and I'm going to open up my home to a child that's in need thank you
You and your husband are an inspiration
Heather and Luke, the impact you've made on those children is something so incredibly special. The sandwich story is so touching and is such a good example of how much importance is nestled in those small moments. Moments that can sometimes cause us to want to pull out our hair, but also cherished moments that we'd have missed if we blinked.
Thank you for sharing your perspective on food and messy kitchens. ♥️ I couldn't agree more! It's worth it. I'm not a mother, but I've been a care provider for children with traumatic backgrounds and there's nothing more precious than seeing that anxiety melt away as a smile spreads across their face! 😁
Momma Bell I’m 40 and seriously thinking about putting myself up for adoption 😂
Kidding aside, you and Luke are a true inspiration - keep on keepin’ on ❤ thanks for all you do.
You’re absolutely my favorite big family on UTube. You’re very real and I appreciate that. I live in Vermont. All school children until they graduate have the opportunity for free breakfast and lunch no matter their family income. Our state has done this for several years. In some cases children may bring home a supper or weekend meals. The schools also cook with as much local food as they can. The schools have gardens and use the vegetables in the kitchen they learn to freeze and can fruits and vegetables. We make Maple Syrup and donate syrup to local schools for pancakes.Hungry children can not learn. I’m happy to pay for this in my taxes.
We also have small food pantries at our schools were families donate and families know they can go there anytime.
I was more than a foster child i was a ward of the state.. but i was truly blessed to have amazing foster parents....they wanted to adopt me but i said no (not for them but for other reasons) butthey are still mom and dad to me and im 41
We’ve started the process of foster care because of your Pinterest videos… I also made your chocolate chip cookie recipe a while back. Heather, it’s the BEST recipe I’ve ever had. I wrote it in my recipe book. I was dying for a good recipe and finally found the perfect one. Your Pinterest videos have been such a blessing to me.. I was so happy to see you on UA-cam
You are so wise Heather. I absolutely love you. You have me bawling here right now.
I am so happy these kids ended up with you as their Mom! I was adopted @ 3mths & there were so many times it was thrown in my face that I wasn't one of them! I'm 59 now, & there is still something inside me that's missing! I would have been blessed if I had you, Heather, as a Mom! You are the sweetest & most compassionate person I've come across. I'm so happy I found your channel! I am BLESSED! ❤️🙏💚🙏❤️🙏💚🙏❤️
I remember my friend, who did foster teenagers, ask to babysit my son ( he was 5). When I went to pick him up she said he wasn't a real boy because when asked what snack he wanted and offered him crisps and other junk food and he asked if he could have sliced pepper. She was in awe that he knew what that was and was a preference and that she was full of sorrow that the kids that came through her life had such a hard time. She is such a good mother and does her absolute best and it shows in their changes in confidence. I even put her as the person I wanted.to take care of my child if anything happened to me.
Crying!! I was in a foster home for two weeks as a child. The ONLY thing that I really remember was the padlock on fridge and Foster Mom and her bio kid eating their meals separately from the fosters. Bless you!!
This woman is changing my life!!! Seriously love her so much!!!
I'm a 23 year old girl from Spain and I have just recently discovered your channel. I was just crying listening to everything you were saying about making children feel proud and safe. Your love and compassion inspires me deeply. I hope I can be as good of a mom as you are in the future. Sending you a big hug and so much love to you and your family. ✨️❤️
You are an example to all of us! God bless you and your family!
Thank you for this video, Heather. I’m not a foster parent, but your inspiration and encouragement is helpful for all parents 💕
Heather, don't ever apologize for showing your tender heart or tearing up. When you were telling about the little boy making his own sandwich had me crying right along with you. I how you handled the food issues.
Had to laugh when you talked about the Kraft Mac & Cheese. I agree with Robert. That's the only kind I liked when I was growing up. I was a very picky eater, and had what I now recognize as sensory issues with food. We have 5 senses that we associate with foods. It took decades for me to want to branch out and try more variety, like adding onions, carrots, mushrooms, even ground pepper. I'm now 59 and I love to cook and try out new flavors. I tell my friends I am finally adulting. I do tend to hide some veggies in foods by dicing them up due to a texture issue. Giving your kids choices, letting them and guiding them in food prep and cooking skills, chores, etc also teaches them how to handle being on their own as adults. I love watching your videos, love how you love your family.
Thank you
I love that you don't consider it stealing when a child is using food!!
You hit me pretty hard! Because I was raised in foster home since newborn to 12 years ago old. Yes I do see my biological parents once awhile. BUT I feel a lot of absence from that and being an only child. Pretty rough childhood I had. BUT I’m glad I founded YOU! Exactly what’s I looked for and who I can talk TO! By the way I’m deaf myself and I’m really thankful have you as that. greeting from Minnesota! 😊
I am so glad that I found your site. My gosh. After being incredibly disheartened by watching other family vlogs, you...are absolutely, love.
Im 27 and still struggle with fear that there is not gonna be food. In my childhood we didn't always have enough food. That's one of the reasons why I hoarded food when I moved to my my own appartment
You inspire me! We have 3 bio kids and then adopted a little girl through the state foster care in march of 2020 when she was 4. Both my husband and I felt the Lord was asking us to open our home to adopt a little girl. But you don’t know what your in for until your in it. That was the hardest thing we have ever done! 2 1/2 years in its night and day different with her, but still there are hard things to deal with. The Lord has been with us every step of the way and blew us away with our youngest daughter who was 3 at the time accepting her and loving her and they have been best buddies since day 1. When I watch you and see how amazing you are with 7 foster kids you adopted I am blown away and you inspire me to do and be better. There I times I look back in the day and go why did I need to to fight that battle?! Thank you for the encouragement and the realness! I have always looked forward to the teenage stage with our 4 kids and people sometimes look at me like I am crazy when I say that, but seeing you with your teens and 20 something’s makes me look forward to it even more. God bless you Bell family!!!
This is so good. Redirect and guide. Include them in meal planning and cooking. ❤
Ms. bell I’m 24 years old and I wish you were my foster parent even at this age lol.
Loved hearing these stories and your approach to the psychology behind the food rather than just calories in vs calories out.
God bless you and your family!
I want you to know that yes these children will remember . Maybe not everything. But they will remember another. Over the years we've had so many different children come to our home. Not as foster children but just kids we've met. Some of them had a parent who spent the weekend drinking and running around. One group of 3 the mother didn't have any idea that her children spent the weekend at our home. We just took care of them fed them and made sure they were safe. We weren't asked to do it. Or paid to. Over the years we've had some look us up they remember we kept them safe and well fed. They were very grateful. Thanks for all you do. Children need more people to care.
Such emotional intelligence ❤️ brilliant info & understanding here, from a former foster food hoarder ❤️
I am not a foster mom but watched the entire video and just appreciated listening to your heart and passion to love young people. Thank you for being a safe home for them to come into. For sowing love in a painful time in their lives. You don’t ever have to apologize for the tears! If someone is bothered by that that is something they need to process within themselves. Your tears reveal your passion and deep love. Thank you for loving every child that came into your life!
Mrs Bell there truly is a special place for you and your husband. I was watching this and cried like a baby.the world needs more people like you and your husband ❤️ ♥️
Your story with the little boy and his sandwich brought me to tears. You're an amazing mother.
You are doing a wonderful job Mrs. Bell. I pray all foster homes learn from you. You are a blessing to these children!
This is a beautiful family channel. Changing the game. Thank you for teaching. Sharing and caring. ❤ love is enough ❤
I enjoy your honesty and love for your family. It is clear you have a beautiful and healthy family.
It is so nice to see a hardworking, common sense family on You Tube
You are a joy, and a bundle of energy Heather. Thank you for putting out such great , relatable content. Continued success with your family businesses, keep on cooking those yummy meals and treats, and thank you for your positive messages. Your practical and no nonsense ways are much needed in this world, as are your traditions and love of family .
You truly are awesome. There’s something so nice and positive about you.
You are the kindest, most beautiful soul. God bless you. 🥹😘
you really are a wonderful woman.
God bless you, your husband and children.
Heather you are amazing!
my heart is full listening to you. Absolutely wonderful.
Sweet mama....Thank you for all you do and have done. God bless you
I adore you I really do I can listen to you talk about all things forever! & Your brilliant,creative, imaginative, compassionate,silly all the best things!! Your family is so so blessed to have you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ And you're right I can stand when I see somebody downing a child's parent they cannot help who their parents are but they love them anyway !
You are the best not only are you caring you don’t exploit your kids like some people.
100% This!
Heather was able to give detailed, helpful, valuable information that is useful, WITHOUT exploiting her children or over sharing private, personal, medical, and bio-family information!
We all know who the worst family exploiter is these days! 🙄
Just as bad is the fact that she doesn't teach them life skills or self reliance.
Honestly if you're capable of cruising around in your new Jeep, or driving your intoxicated parents and 11 siblings home from mom's birthday dinner then you should be allowed to apply your own toothpaste! Just saying...🙄
These two families are like night and day!
Preach! You are so on point! Excellent lessons for new families and all families’ ❤
Thanks for sharing your wisdom, you have such a lovely family.
Thank you for sharing your experience and insights. ❤
I love how informative you are! I really enjoy learing more about this. Thank you for what you do!
Words of wisdom! We all need a reminder! Thank you! :)
I loved this video. Thanks Heather! So informative!
You are a great mom. God bless u for doing this.
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing your common sense and wisdom!
You're such a wonderful person. The world is a better place with you in it. God bless you and your family.
You are so informative. Hope this encourages more people to foster
God bless you
I loved being a foster parent before our adoption. Food insecurity and coping was one of the biggest challenges. I did the same with fruits and snacks. 9 times out of 10 the food hoarding was about a trigger that day, and I loved that it was an opportunity to talk about the root issue and open dialogue. Thank you for sharing.
You’re an inspiration Mama Bell!
I like that your core is based on dignity without judgement. There are so many things children experience going through the process and there are not many who are focused on restoring dignity without judgement. I think when you look at their needs while learning to understand their situation, you become their best advocate. These children have taught you well, thank goodness that you remained present in the moment so you could learn from them!
This made my love your family even more! You have a heart of gold.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👍👍👍
Thank you for being You and Everthing u do, being you. Much Respect and Love
This women is the absolute best
So sensible and fair. Everything within reason x
I deal with a lot of depression, but knowing that there are people like this in the world is so uplifting. To realise that if kids go through a tough time like a broken family and have a place like your home to go where they and their biological families are cherished, educated and respected is a real anti-depressant. Thank you for your strength, organization, good & loving nature, and humility.
You are incredible and so inspiring! Thank you for sharing ❤
I love you! Bless you and your husband, till no end. you are doing God's work. ❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing the motto,"Pick your battles!"
You are so wise with a great loving heart! ❤️ God Bless You!! Showing Christs ❤️ 🥰💕
Heather you and Luke are great parents. And I love seeing the kids in the kitchen cooking with you..your page is great and I love watching your videos. Thank you the opening your home to all us...
You may be far from perfect but you. We're perfect for these children. Don't ever forget that God put you in their lives and you acknowledge Him. That is why you're so blessed. Stay just the way you are. Love you so much.
You’re an inspiration, Heather ❤ My four children were adopted as infants and your words are still very helpful
As a future foster parent with the gol,of dotting I really appreciate your advice!!! Love your videos and your loving family, your story is just so heartwarming and uplifting ❤❤❤
The idea of having your kids help you cook is smart, when I would babysit my 5 year old niece enjoyed helping in cooking. It was honestly a win-win, she enjoyed it and it was one less task for me to do and also she enjoyed the food more.
Not a foster parent and never will be but I love you and your family!! 😁 The best parenting advice I ever got was don't do food battles with my children. I don't force them to eat anything that they truly detested and never forced them to clean their plates. I never cooked a separate meal, and they ate what I put in front of them, or they didn't. It wasn't a big deal. I didn't force them to clean their plate but if they didn't eat what they had, they didn't get anything else. Best advice ever.
Your such a wonderful family I love your videos . I cried with you and you are the mom I strive to be ,the women across the room for me thank you for all you've done 💟.
I really love the foster care videos. Please keep doing them.
So much respect for what you are doing
God Bless you & your husband. I love your videos.
Thank you for this video! I am not a foster parent. I am a mom of kids with food sensitivities. I grew up with so many food issues that I didn't want to pass sit in to my kids. I have learned how to work with them and make things that work for our family. There are some foods that I have made up to make sure everyone gets something that they like and will eat for dinner. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I really enjoyed this video. You're such a wonderful person and your family is beautiful. I teared up right along side of you when you talked about the little boy making his own sandwich. I look forward to more videos like this.❤
I don't know why but this made me cry tears of joy and respect ❤
Your channel is great!
And you and your family seem so very caring and nice.
Your such a beautiful vessel of God ❣️Thank you😘
Thank you for sharing your knowledge! We are almost finished with our foster care training and will have new children come into our home starting in April. These videos you do are very helpful!
You are such an amazing mom!!! Your are so fun and caring ❤
This is so helpful and informative. I’d love to see more videos like this. My family will be starting the adoption process soon.