I have been struggling with trauma my whole life. The hard part is honestly trusting anyone. So many people that I've tried to talk with have made it worse. Finding a safe person who actually helps me has been so overwhelming. I stopped trying. I workout, have dogs, dance and try to have positive thoughts and pray. Every day is a battlefield of the mind. I have devoted myself to showing others love and compassion. I think we all desperately need that.
From what I've learned from UA-cam trauma videos is to find a trauma certified therapist, not a talk therapist or cognitive behavioral therapy. Bessel Van Der Kolk and Gabor Mate are leaders in this field as far as I know. I came across psychotherapist Pete Walker on UA-cam yesterday. He spent years as a client himself to heal his cptsd. His book and workbook has great reviews on Amazon. Maybe something worth checking out.
Do you find it's more likely to be weaponized against you than anything? That's been true for me. Although we're mostly saner than the people who do that, IMO!
"Post traumatic stress is not post trauma. It feels like it's happening right now." I often describe my life as trying to clean the house or do homework while in the middle of a car wreck. Not just after the accident, not in the moment before, but literally as the car is spinning and flipping. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is going on as well because I just go on with life, pretending the car accident isn't happening and wonder why I'm not able to thrive as well as other people in basic tasks.
Yes, the perception of time is totally different for those who don't suffer from PTSD. They have said to me: "Oh, it's already.....years ago". For me it's not past at all, I am still living it. The event keeps repeating internally as if it's a ghost who can't go to the light (yet)....unfinished business.
25:00 self regulation Pay attention Be still Yoga - Meditation Integrating mind and body. Chanting with others Because of the experience the brain has been changed. Trauma is stored in the body. Need to feel safe in your body Massages Dancing. Take bite size of memories Understanding why you are messed up does not solve the problem. What therapies to try: EMDR Somatic experience
It seems quite memory-oriented, even though many people don't have clear memories of what happened... especially when it's early relational trauma (not just in the family but also with other children)
When you say if you can fight back there may be less trauma, this is why covert abuse is so extremely traumatic in ways most can not conceive. Covert abuse can be EXTREME with no way to fight back and no one else can see the abuse is happening, much less comprehend the impact. Covert abuse is more likely to lead to death than witnessing a shocking event or suffering a physical assault. Covert abuse can last for years without the victim being believed because the abuse is hidden even when the outcome may be seen in the victim's life. Usually the victim is blamed for negative outcome to their life when they are covertly abused. They become isolated due to the abuse being hidden and no one understanding what is actually happening.
It's disgusting. And it can get even more disgusting. When the covert abuse is by deflecting and make another the bad guy so it instills denial in the victim so they can't even see for themselves what the truth is of what is going on until decades later after stopping numbing psych meds and a round of microdosing magic mushrooms: 8.45 Dr Todd Grande Nine signs of the narcissistic mother Mother-Daughter relationships
@@ts3858 Thank you, it nearly destroyed me, it send me to a really dark place, but I am determined to not take anymore crap from anyone ever again. No contact works for me in getting there.
Trauma is "distress without resolution ". So perhaps we need to widen the net of what qualifies as trauma and not limit it to only extremes like war or rape. Being neglected emotionally as a child by parents who do take care of physical needs still is a trauma.
If you read the book you will see he says that. In fact, you will find a lot of surprising things as well, like why we still don't have a way to officially diagnose C-PTSD. I really recommend you read it. I have found it helpful, just to have someone who has some sort of "official" capacity confirm that everything I have felt because of my trauma was real and normal.
Exactly what happened to me and nothing works ive had years of therapy but pregabalin or lyrica works it closes the nurons in the brain that fire danger signals. Ive had overdoses and 43 years of hell but now im fully functioning and finally happy but the docs want me off of it 😫
I don't think trauma can be solely defined as "distress without resolution", I believe trauma should be defined as "extensive damage to a particular area".
Emotional neglect has been shown to change your brain as well. It is a type of trauma that is much harder to recognize because as Dr. Jonice Webb (who has written about neglect) has said, it is not what your parents DID do, but what they DID NOT do. Far too many people don't know how to tend to their own emotional needs, much less the emotional needs of their children. I suspect this is harder to work through. For me, I can't always recall specific "incidents" to think about during EMDR sessions. I struggle to feel anything actually, but in researching this found that actually is also a symptom of emotional neglect...the difficulty in expressing and understanding your feelings.
It is all ok, from the perspective of someone who has a PTSD, sometimes yoga increase anxiety and panic. With yoga it is more important to get the right dose and to gain safety for time. Because when you do streching of fascia some of as they call samskaras will eventually come up. From my own expirience I had severe panic atacks doing yoga. Grounding is the most important step. Feeling body. Stay present in body. EMDR is great because it takes away the wall of feeling difficult emotions. Sometimes runing, or gym can be helpfull. Walking and stay present is also good. Breathing deeply in youre pelvis. Feeling the presure of chair and bed, also grounding. These are all elements of somatic practice.
As a vocalist: choir was the happiest part of my college education. It was the only thing that relieved my stress. It’s very physical and the breathing was so helpful. I would go in totally discouraged and come out totally fine. Five days a week for seven years. I could always find relief, I just didn’t know it at the time. And when I graduated the anxiety really kicked back in.
It's important to let those negative emotions come out and release. From someone with severe anxiety, the best thing you can do is let them express, live the panic, let it be. The problem for anxiety and PTSD is continuously trying to escape from them. Trust me, let them storm in you, and afterwards you will feel incredibly released and lighter. Let's go 💪
@Dirk Walter meditation and yoga may help some people. I do sit quietly and observe but trying to use meditation techniques actually gets in the way of that for me. I do quiet breathing and observation of my emotions when it feels right. Sitting for a required daily meditation doesn't feel natural. I don't like wellness advice in general though so I do have a bias against most wellness "coaches " and life "coaches. " We can own our healing. Everyone has their own path.
Dr. Van derkolk knows and articulates trauma as accurately as I have experienced it. Profound. I am creative & doing my own research on myself for recovery by paying attention, trying things, journaling, & observing my patterns of feelings, bad past stories. Being "Gentle", baby steps using new inner dialog, breath, good routines, exercise, books, music, sing, nature, prayer, trusting myself, photo therapy, safe social connections, creative projects are all my practice. I've made progress, and "slow, gentle and steady is my pace". I feel we have a healing capability.The heavy part is loneliness, acceptance while creating a new life. Wonderful Interview.
The loneliness is definitely a difficultly. I know how you feel. I am looking for ways to connect with people and not isolate as much. God bless you in your healing journey.
@@wm.robertlux8934 You make friends with yourself and the world. People, animals and nature will respond with your openness. A lil' chat with the store clerk can do wonders;-)
My childhood trauma made a mess out of my adult life. I’m 52 just now finding out where all my dysfunction comes from. I’m just now changing my perception of the world and my place in it. Forgiving myself for being victimized (my most familiar emotions are shame, guilt, anger, hopelessness) I live with chronic pain, fatigue, addiction & loneliness.
I totally get what you’re dealing with, it’s hell. I hate social situations because of how often I feel triggered. It can feel hopeless, researching has helped me understand so much, especially that I’m not actually a ‘weird’ person, just traumatised from childhood emotional neglect and a long and marriage.
I'm doing an online program which has been an eye opening journey, the trauma which has come up, developmental, emotional, mental and physical in childhood. It's been a very healing journey, it's a high end healing program to help you find that inner connection to yourself, find yourself trusting going within, it's very meditation and yoga based, self realisation at the core....i know longer get triggered by my mother, and with family I am able to walk away if conversations trigger me, get disconnected, I am able to breath and get back into my centre x It's amazing, but hard work to reset our nervous system but what choice do you have when triggers all around you make you ill. I have had auto immune issues for over a decade, now I feel I am coming out of this xx Breath, Reset, Thrive is the program, a lady called Julie Kent x
And there's a breathing technique you can use for panic attacks and it works instantly , you force everything to slow down because you're actually you start breathing and you count while you slowly let out your breath and you just take a quick breath in through the nostrils hold that and blow out through your mouth while you're counting I think maybe four to five six maybe I don't know I can't remember I haven't done it in a while but it actually stops you from having those panic attacks but you have to look it up or ask your doctor , Navy seals use it when they try to calm in a really dangerous situation and it works instantly and eventually you won't even have the panic attacks unless you wake up suddenly at night with them I did that for a while then they stopped I take nutritional yeast at bedtime.🐠
I am so grateful people are doing things like this now. I am in my early 70's and was diagnosed with bipolar 15 - 20 years ago. But as I got older and could not hold a job I started self-reflecting and journalling, intensely. And I figured out that people raised similar to me would exhibit nearly the same symptoms as bipolar. There were many issues but the root problem was that I thought I would be killed there, and looking back it was not an illogical concern.
Please read Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman Lewis. She said that those symptoms that the doctors label as "bipolar" are actually Chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). P.S. My sister and I thought that we would be killed in our childhood too. I'm 75. (So much for "the good old days.")
I guess that you have been working with toxic people and your talents, interests, and skills also were not in your natural mastery. My work has always been more overwhelming because it was physically traumatic and injury of repeated motions when I am a creative person.
This man is amazing and his research and treatment is so gentle and down to Earth. I’m so grateful for people who understand sensitivity and the importance of emotions and feeling
I had a severe panic attack when I was 24 that I’m starting to realize has shaped my life ever since. It’s like I’m always on high alert trying to make sure that doesn’t happen again, and it’s been 11 years.
Learning the physiology of a panic attack helped me a lot, understanding what happens in your body when they occur helped me not be afraid of it. A lot of doctors don’t take the time to explain that everything you feel is real, it may not kill you but it is 100% real, it is not imagined. I recommend reading about it from a physiology perspective, understand why you feel tingling, blurred vision, chest pressure, etc, and if it ever happens again you just stay still, you keep telling yourself i know what this is, I have felt it before and it will be ok.
Trauma is what is left behind when we experience an event where we lack the ability to cope and our caregivers fail to meet those needs. There are so many holistic ways to move through trauma - you can utilize movement practices to move stuck emotions - yoga, walking, dancing, somatic exercises, qi gong, tai chi, etc.; you can incorporate breathwork to work with your physiology to bring your heart rate and blood pressure into normal limits; taking control of your thoughts/behaviours - understanding what unhelpful coping mechanisms you've put in place to keep you safe, knowing how your thoughts can be controlled and to change them to healthier thoughts before it results in reactions; inner child work - provide yourself with what you lacked as a child - you didn't feel safe, provide yourself with safety; didn't get to play because you were a caregiver for your parents - play now! It's nice to see that trauma and mental health healing is becoming more prevalent.
@@tousifk3138 you shouldn't pay for someone to tell you: your trauma was a long time ago, it's now July 2022, you shouldn't feel that way. It's somatic, stored in the body. The way I describe it is this - Your mind, body and spirt all suffer through the traumatic experience. As we get older, logically we can understand the trauma happened a long time ago, but the way our mind has rewired itself to protect us and misfires. Your body stores the emotional portion. When we move the emotions from our body we move the trauma through and out of us. Does that make sense?
@@mindbodyspirithealthy thanks for taking ur time to write, how can the body store it when emotions are a part of mind, how do we move the emotions from the body, and do u mean the brain has rewired itself or the mind had rewired itself,am from India not much help here
@@tousifk3138 Our emotions are generated and stored in the body. We think they come from the mind, but they aren't. Our thoughts drive our emotions though. So, you have to watch your thoughts as a part of regulating your emotions. Think about when you are sad and you feel that sensation spread through your chest, or you feel your throat constrict, you feel the tears welling up. They are all physical expressions of our emotions. The mind, is the thoughts. Thinking "I feel sad" or "I'm furious!" is the part that the mind carries. The brain, it's neuropathways (the nerves that run through your brain from one region another), wires to respond at lightning speeds in habitual ways. If every time you get angry you yell, your brain wires that response to your anger, it becomes your go - to reaction. You have to rewire your brain overtime, that when you get angry, you remain calm and in charge of your emotions. Eventually, new neuropathways are laid down and the new response of anger and calm will become your go-to response. I hope that makes sense. You can always follow me on Facebook. I share lots of information about trauma, mental health, resiliency and healing. Tanya Baldwin RN- Mind Body Spirit Healthy Self.
So all the ecstacy I was taking in my teens was helping me process all my trauma? Honestly it makes sense. It was the only thing that made me feel joy back then.
I took ecstasy in 2001, ever since, I have got faith in a Creator. I was recently wishing I had hold of some ecstasy as I used to do it alone and it helped. I am not advocating the use of illegal drugs though, you never know what you are getting on the black market.
Childhood trauma changes the brain,and the child's life forever. 😔 its difficult to explain. Im 42 and just had a retraumatizing incident that broke me. I don't think I've got much left to give and yet here I am.
I hope that you have healed from the incident. I had a realization recently that was painful. But I processed it and I am ok. Recently I’ve realized that as an adult, I CAN CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE now because it’s a memory and not the trauma itself. And I now have the power to protect myself. I still get triggered, but this new perspective continues to help put space between memories and feelings.
46 and fighting my way through this. I am realizing that I have NEVER felt safe. Never in my whole life and especially not with my recent ex, who just abandoned us and left us stranded 5 states away from my entire family and all my friends. My whole life. I cannot fathom trusting anyone anymore.
4:30 I *don't* "try to forget". I can't stop remembering. 8:04 I had a "trauma therapist" who told me that, because I'm no longer having flashbacks and recurring nightmares from the abuse in my childhood (60 years ago), the PTSD just "went away." (I told her that I didn't want to work with her.)
@@JiaFit : Yes, and the fact that she could pass herself off as a "trauma therapist"! I pity those who are easily led around by an "authority." She would make them worse, not better.
@@bkirstie No, it just went into another phase. In Trauma and Recovery, Judith Lewis Herman talks about three phases of trauma: the early phase, the active phase of nightmares and flashbacks, and a third phase of "freeze," or a kind of numbness. None of those therapists know anything about the final phase. If you aren't having nightmares and flashbacks, you apparently don't have trauma.
Fight or flight, or freeze. His focus on trauma resulting in "victims" suffering from a sense of being stuck in a rut - frozen - was a revelation to me. I experienced childhood trauma and, later, addiction. Once in recovery thanks to MAT I suffered from this phenomena, the sense that the world was just happening to me, that I was powerless to affect change. What a freeing insight.
I love this place. I came from Gabor Mate forums, and all ppl do there is exalting Gabor for how wonderful, kind, and genius he is...instead of talking about their life experiences. I got fed up with it.
Be the best you can be, and love yourself. Find strength in loving God outside of a religion, and inside of yourself. This is what I do on the daily. This comment is meant to be helpful so please accept it that way, or reject it. Blessings!
Is it true that the arts can help heal trauma too? Painting, writing? I’ve had PTSD for my whole life and I have had no luck finding help out there as far as therapist go. Americas health care system is a complete mess. We have so many people in need of healing but they don’t know where to turn and they can’t afford health care. The educational system feeds into the trauma instead of helping ( I’m sure not every school is as bad as some that I have witnessed through trying to work in them ...for the past ten years or so but it is a very sad thing to witness what is happening in many of our schools. Anyway, I have practiced yoga, dancing, meditation, chanting, nature walks, breathing techniques and many other things and they have all helped so much! I still have a way to go. You are so so right that these things should be taught to every child, starting at an early age. We’d have a healed society.
things that can help: EMDR, EFT tapping, TRE www.traumaprevention.com, yoga, movement, LDN (low-dose Naltrexone) ldnresearchtrust.org and vagus nerve exercises
@@iergjsglsdhgoajsfjaslkdf Thank you! I have never heard of LDN. I have a skin condition and I’ve had Alepicia. I take Ashwaganda and magnesium which seems to help the hair loss but not the skin condition which has plagued me for 30 years. They think it is Tinea Versicolor but I’m not so sure.
@@mellowray561 it can be tough to find a dr. to prescribe it, there are telehealth doctors who will, and private Facebook groups with more info. There are also 2 books about it.
Thank you Bessell van der Kolk. I have suffered all my life from this and now ,at 75 understand what it is. Good to know I am not to blame or feel shame. Could of used this years ago when had the time to improve my life. Such is my journey.
I wish I could find videos, articles, and/studies on the trauma of loneliness. Not having someone harm you, but rather having no one at all. What happens to a person that for whatever reason can't create and maintain relationships from childhood through adulthood. Everyone doesn't have family and friends, but it's never talked about how these people function and live. Instead people (children and adults) are looked at as pariahs as if something MUST be wrong with them which is also traumatic. Also, I'd like to see research on how trauma and mental illness can and does for some make you look older and what can be done about it. If anybody has any suggestions, I hear for them.
I found most health professionals and and employers are very willing to invest in helping young people, if you are older, your trauma, patterns your brain and behavior more deeply. It's harder when your older to find help. It really is.
@@Myohomoto, yes it is, but honestly it's hard to find help because most people aren't interested in putting in the time and effort to do so. I had the same issues finding help when I was younger. For some of us it just takes more than a few kind words and a pat on the back.
Loneliness and isolation is a huge problem. Most of the callers to suicide hotlines are suffering through this. It’s hard when you have no family to then make friends that are genuine and reliable. My advice, work on yourself. Continuing education, attain a special skill youre passionate about. This will attract people to you.
That was an excellent interview. Not just the information shared but the interviewer's style and interview technique - spot on! I'll be listening to more.
Developmental Trauma Disorder is something that Bessel Van Der Kolk is all about . . . he understands Complex Chronic PTSD not just single events . . . it includes childhood surgeries too.
It is said that the voice carries the emotion. You can see how this is true. Chanting alone also does help in other ways besides sincing up with other people. It helps release and move through emotions. It can be very very healing in that way. It also helps a person move into feeling the vibration of the voice in the body, the vibration of sound so brings in that somatic reconection and healing, it also helps build capacity to sit that may be too overwhelming in silence and inaction but coupled with chanting is very regulating and rescourcing.
@@CScripture Interesting. Two ways that people get activation in response to their voice come to mind. One, some people have unresolved issues in their friendship with themself and they have an adverse reaction to the sound of their voice because they dont accept/unconditional love themselves. The other is when there is a lot of pent up unresolved emotion. So the way to work with them can be different. But, if you find you have unresolved emotion pent up gently and a little at a time working with vocalization, whether it starts with just doing long "Ahhhh" sounds soft/loud then breathing and seeing what comes up/how that feels. Oms, trying singing with part of a song you like, chanting just a little -and while paying attention to what you feel emotionally. Letting a little bit of that out. Paying attention to how your body/you settles after. I used to be very frustrated and angry in my life (covering sadness/PTSD) and for me it really helped chanting every day, that frustration and pain would come out in the voice and pass through. I also used not to be able to sing because I would always start crying -the emotion bottled up would come through, but it helped. I usually chant every day now. Its good for the nervous system , through the vagus nerve, but just in so many ways. It helps calm and build resilience and regulation into the nervous system. But it is something to be aware of if it's very potent as you say you notice in yourself (It's great you are aware of that) and to titrate, to start exploring working with it gently and in small doses if you are interested in moving through that then integrating what you find out.
Pat Fluegel really wish I knew how I got this trauma in my body and ear 👂 it rings too and if I yell it muffled and I can’t breathe and feel out of control with rage also / anger
@@CScripture Im sorry to hear that. It sounds unpleasant with the rage and anger. and, these are things you can work with and feel better/calmer/more regulated. Everyone's path is different, but you may consider trying a somatic experiencing practitioner. They can help with this sort of nervous system dysregulation and also trauma healing. there is also something called the safe and sound protocol which is based on the same nervous system information (polyvagal theory) which can help with tinnitus (ringing in the ears). But the Somatic Experiencing is good to do before the safe and sound protocol. The website for SE is traumahealing.org and they list some therapists, but you can also just search locally. Most people are doing teletherapy on zoom etc. right now with the virus. I encourage you to explore options, whatever they are, to bring in more regulation and ease to your experience.
To feel fully safe you have to unpack and honour all your demons and shadow parts by feeling their negative emotions and accepting that they are valid...Bessel says trauma is only when something horrendous happens, but that's not true. Emotional neglect causes brain damage, autoimmune disease, addiction and adhd. And in our society, most kids are emotionally neglected, by parents who were so emotionally neglected, they don't even know they are supposed to love their children. Sadhguru has some beautiful videos about how to become your child's guru, inspiring them to be their best through being interested in them, and showing love.
Many years ago while I was searching for some answers I came across a psychiatric study that said mental abuse is worse for children than physical abuse. Kids understand slaps and punches hurt your body but don't understand the meaning of the words whose scars never heal.
For those with physical limitations that can't participate in Yoga, a Tens Unit might be helpful. I have found it not only helps with chronic pain it helps me meditate also. It's very soothing.
@@marialejadrale A tens unit is a device that sends electrical impulses, through your body in different wave lengths that you choose with a hand held device. They are around $35 US. Can be found a pharmacies. I got mine at Amazon. I use it every day. It's the best non invasive pain treatment I've ever found.
@@marialejadrale It has also helped CPTSD. Probably because I find meditation so easy with this device. It really is the best sort of "medicine" I've found.
This was só goddamn therapeutic. I've been making use of mdma and psilocybin in the past for some time now and felt real changes in my mind taking place afterwards, I mean, literally, physical responses in my brain. Because I've had a lifetime of traumatic experiences, these changes have been taking place for quite some time, ever since I started, which was two years ago. And it feels so uplifting to have someone confirm that what I'm experiencing, this battle within my mind of an "empathic self" vs my "scared self", is completely normal, and hopefully have this contradiction resolved within the mind, with the victory of my "empathic self" that can relate positively to the world.
how often did you take mdma until you felt permanent changes? i've been taking it twice now in a "therapeutic" setting and i had the most incredible experience and eye-opener but even though i wrote everything down that i learned during that experience it did not go deep enough to change my feelings of being completely unsafe etc. so i was wondering how long it took you until the changes came to the roots of the trauma as well?
Any therapy focusing on the physical body as the grounding tool will have tremendously positive results. The limbic system responds remarkably well to feeling/experiencing/noticing/being aware of your physical body. It establishes safe- therefore allowing the parasympathetic to activate. I have based several tools in my own work on this theory/hypothesis and seen remarkable results (though at this point the focus on the body as the frame of reference for safe is becoming accepted).
From my experience, many physical and psychological injuries (trauma) happen during the times of pregnancy and birth. A time which is excluded in studies of psychology and psychotherapy.
When my brother's wife was pregnant, I noticed my father was being predatory towards her, often times bugging her while she would be in the kitchen. Nothing physical or sexual; I sensed wickedness in his tone while talking to her which I had never noticed when she wasn't pregnant. The result? She gave birth to a boy, who at few months old started banging his head on the wall and hit other stuff on his head. I've baby sat 10+ kids throughout my life, and he seems to be the only kid who banged and hit his head. It didn't seem normal to me and I still don't find it normal.
I'm here to let y'all know, as I watch this video... that I have made a firm and magical and miraculous and complete commitment, that from this moment forward, I am 100% changing my life around (for the better!). I receive and accept: health, wealth, and love. what a beautiful day to be be alive!! May 22nd, 2022. it's the 22/22 pleadian portal of magic! stay blissed and stay blessed, my friends.
Watching my father not being helped to eat & drink in the nursing home i was forced to put him into, by the hospital (they threatened not to treat him if i didn't agree to him going into 'care' ). They say i can go to the Royal Commission. That won't bring my father back. Sometimes the ones who are supposed to heal are the ones who do the harm ! And then we're left with our memories & flashbacks, trying to stitch back the remnants of our life after being thoroughly emotionally distressed over and over again.
If you can pay a visit to see your father then help your family instead of complaining.Ask the management of that place of how they don’t have enough staffing to take care of everyone.I speak on behalf of the healthcare workers who intentionally wants to help everyone but not supported by the management.Blame to the ones who created the rules that short staffing is “safe” in Nursing Homes”
@@mychannelnotyoursI read what you replied to differently. You say you are replying from the place of a health careworker. I think his/her father died. In this awful scenario, lies his trauma. Your response will reignite his/her trauma.
@@gracemcloughlin9305Hello, Grace. Yes. My father died. There were many losses before losing him there. Thank you for being so thoughtful. Trauma does change you. I struggle to stay calm. Fell apart many times due to multiple ongoing losses since childhood. I am grateful for the things that go right. And try to contend with that which goes wrong. But feeling fragile after so many shocks is normal. Your response to the other writer there helped me somehow. Thank you for writing it. Health to you. Kim.
Not here we don't. MDMA scored illegally helped me years ago, but I would not recommend buying it on the black market, as you don't know if it''s MDMA.
Shamanic studies has also helped me to learn and incorporate my shadow side. I encourage anyone who feels like all is lost to look into that universal primative way of facing your fears and learn to love your demons so they dont rule you.
My child hood trauma messes me up so much. I tried to avoid the feelings etc .listening to this gives me insight and hope. 🤩. I am going to look at a yoga class and more reading and listening material and face my past which holds me in its grips now . Great podcast
I feel like my doctors think I’m getting better because the many, many psychiatric medications I’m on make me numb and I don’t act out anymore. But the emotions are still bubbling under the surface. It’s manifesting in disease. Years of childhood abuse, then two abusive husbands have destroyed my sense of self. I’m stuck. Now I have lupus, fibromyalgia, stage 3 kidney disease, liver disease, diabetes, thyroid disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and I have artificial hips, a fused spine on four levels, and an artificial shoulder, as well as TMJ. I grind my teeth so hard I grinder four teeth out of my head. My dental problems are horrible all because I can’t stop grinding. I don’t feel like anyone cares. It’s too much to carry. I’m only 51 but I’m afraid I’m going to die young because of all of this. I saw a quote the other day that hurt me so much. It said mental illness isn’t your fault but it’s your responsibility. That may be true but what about when you don’t know where to start? What about when no one seems to care? I was suicidal for so long. I want to live now but it doesn’t seem I have much to live for.
I see you and feel you. I don't even know where to begin to get the help I need. I am dealing with ongoing medical issues that continually make me feel unsafe and relive past medical trauma. I am stuck in an endless loop and I can't escape. Hoping you are doing better ❤
I love how Bessel explains the work of trauma. As someone who has PTSD, i tried meditation and yoga also and got much worse. Somatic Practice, Expirience, EMDR, even boxing heleped me shift somwhow. I was frozen for two years before working EMDR therapy. I would like to try psychedelics, but it is only on research level.
I find it jarring how tone-deaf the interviewer comes across. Like he's ticking off a list of questions someone else prepared for him, while he's mentally on some other assignment. Dr van der Kolk, on the other hand, feels empathetic, gentle, and deeply knowledgeable about his topic.
agreeing with most of this! I even became an EFT practitioner to do my part. I just wanted to say that one of the most powerful techniques was the neurofeedback that he mentions. It handles gentle rewiring in a way that nothing else can do. It takes many sessions to complete the series, but was worth every penny and every minute. it's a very very pleasant technique.
Fr though I do yoga often, and I deep breathe all day Box breathing 4 in 4 hold 4 out PMR while meditating (progressive muscle relaxation) LOTS OF WATER 💧 Extreme trauma and I’m still kicking. Gonna take this advice further to heart ❤️
need more people who actually have first hand, real life experience with Trauma doing interviews with this Dr. I wonder if he ever feels like this is boring but he's doing a service?
The focus on safety as the grounding mechanism, and that the body IS the grounding tool is 100% correct. I completely agree with BVDK, and actually reached the exact same conclusion with my own specific work (more muscularly based- addressing long term guarding patterns that are locked in the limbic system) based on results/research. We may have reached a different conclusion on how to do this, but I agree 100% on the goal! Love his work and this is a great video.
I had the same opinion as Dr VanDer Kalk in regards to making some of these self regulating techniques mandatory curriculum at schools. I see this as an aide to unknown maladies such as abuse etc and also a preventative measure for the root of other issues. Hearing his opinion definitely makes me feel validated. I also had the thought that our countries defense and law enforcement sector would most definitely benefit from the same training prior to deployment or induction into service.
I've lived entire life of running from abuse abuse from home abuse from. partner parent alienation of that X partner turning my kids against me I've lived in high state of terror hyperviligance from the fright of not been able to stop what I was living in my life I still feel that terror and can't unlock myself out of it as it's from forty years of ripple effects of child abuse
I am so sorry. Sometimes it takes a long time to acknowledge our abuse... and how we hold on that things aren't as they seem or that the people causing the harm will change. Having been raised by two narcissists myself, and only after my mother dealt me a blow that ruined my life two and a half years ago, from which I am only now barely recovering with the help of my trauma therapist... if you can afford to see a psychiatrist/psychologist spacialised in trauma therapy and EMDR, maybe you will find the relief that you need to rebuild your life and find comfort in your own body! I wish you the best of luck!
My childhood destroyed my life. Became totally attached to relationships no matter how bad and destroyed the good ones.My mother did a hell of number on me.
Getting on the back of my husband’s motorcycle is what is helping me. It causes grounding without hyper vigilance. I made the mistake of trying EMDR with a therapist still in training so that is on my list but with someone with much more experience.
Wow, thank you so much. I need a doctor like you . I've tried all the , "understanding" counseling and have felt like a failure. Thank you recognizing that this trauma has become part of physicality of my body. I wish there was a nerve block to just stop the trauma response like a nerve block for physical pain. Even neurofeedback is difficult. When people have physical pain a doctor can identify the nerve pain and numb the nerve pain but trauma pain is still up to our ability to do it on our own.
The trauma response is your limbic system screaming "you are not safe". This can be reprogrammed. I have specialized work to create this exact response- the reset of the limbic system state by use of the physical body for grounding purposes (in an extremely strong and powerful way). I actually first created this work to deal with muscular/structural pain issues, and realized how applicable (actually perfect) it was to trauma states. Remember that trauma just like physical pain has a purpose, and just blocking it without understanding the cause can cause issues down the road as well.
reaffirming me... whew I've been THROUGH IT over and over since birht ! I needed a reminder it's not because I have a victim mentality or a negative attitude... especially now with the world in chaos . I'm doing the best I can and that is all I can do.
Yep, I just signed up for the email list, and I am definitely finding this podcast! I also shared it with a friend! This is the best trauma help out there!!!
yoga and meditation are so good and i appreciate you saying this; when im triggered those are the last things i want to do. same with chanting! but sometimes it feels like recovery is so slow and like im moving backwards... ive chanted when feeling terrible many many times. as well as when feel good. but hallucinogens and mda do not solve anything for someone with a history of addiction. in fact they are dangerous.
When in fight/fight/freeze- the last thing your limbic system wants is ANY change. So it will fight you. Your own brain will fight you. I have many different versions of this "fight". Because any change is being perceived as unsafe- unconsciously. This can be shifted. I refer to this as "shifting states" and it is a process.
We tried exposure therapy, reading and re-reading an account of trauma. Every day for months, and honestly I couldn't always get through the account. Crying, sobbing, screaming, it was torture. I honestly think it made the situation worse by tainting things and places that were tolorable were now associated with trauma and has ruined things and places by retraumatizing and making them PART of the trauma.
I can dig what you're saying. After attending many 12 step meetings and watching others get better and better realized drugs&alcohol saved me from total despair. I found out about ACOA and it fit my dysfunctional self and so-called family to a T. But alas truth did not set me free. Without direct human support like a very good therapist having scabs is healthier than a bloody open wound.Be kind to yourself Mr greg...
I'm done with talk therapy as well. I'm looking into somatic experiencing (requires no talk therapy, it's about releasing the trauma trapped in your body)
@@susanmazzella865 AA is underrated andor under appreciated. It is a true miracle in most lives who can manage to work the whole program (Step 3!! and then 4-9).
@@susanmazzella865 Yes!! I am a harm reduction advocate. Sometimes taking the "vice" away before the person has the support and tools to deal with the real problem is actually unwise. (drugs & alcohol are the person's solution) ACA is amazing I knew I found my people after 1 meeting
Reliving/rebooting old neuro pathways where the guarding and "trauma" exists in the brain can have the opposite effect, or a negative impact on our state. It can push us further into fight/flight. We are dealing with reflexes. Unconsciously programmed reflexes that our brain created in the effort to keep us safe. It must be handled and reprogrammed as such, as a reflex. With the new trauma you experienced, you made new unconscious associations to locations and things that your brain now associates with that trauma or "unsafe" state. This can be reprogrammed, but we must find some strong grounding first- so that "safe" is established first throughout the process.
There is no mention of childhood bullying in the book and victimization. The goal should be to feel 'empowered" and to regain the locus of control, not just to be able to see that this 'ongoing chronic trauma" happened in the past...it was not a one-time event, and the psycho-sociopath responsible is just in another location...as an explanation to why it is not occurring presently. The solution is to confront in certain cases.
I stick my middle finger up to those self-help gurus who shame us for looking back, saying "Get over it". Having tried their ways, I now must try this way. It's about healing. It's about trying to heal. 😊
he says people can seperate body and mind connection while doing cardio. So more mindfull exercises such as yoga is better for trauma healing. that is interesting
I have severe chronic pain due to multiple traumas in childhood and adult life. I’ve had a lot of help (EMDR, therapy, yoga etc) but I still struggle. I purchased the Body Keeps the Score over a year ago and I’m still afraid to read it and completely melt down. I do my yoga every day and yes it does help the physical pain, but it doesn’t really fix anything in the long term. My body is getting physically stronger which is appreciated.
I'm struggling with a recent trauma, less than two months ago when I fell, fracturing both my elbows , although I'm slowly recovering, my right elbow makes me feel quite sick and unsafe. This has been life changing but I am determined to make a full recovery. Chanting certainly helps. Warm regards, Yvonne
I contracted Covid at work last year Without treatment options I developed brain dysfunction and several traumatic events followed I was given strong meds which caused more harm than good I was engaged last year and I became disassociated from the trauma and stress I’m trying to recover within a broken health care system
Thank you for explaining why sitting in meditation is so hard for trauma victims, its not a character flaw but a side effect of trauma. This was wonderful, and I will look into these methodologies although I am trepidatious regarding feeling any real hope or joy regarding finding these methodologies as so many many times in the past I found something I hoped would be "it" regarding successful therapies, only to become more enlightened, but not on any real healing path. I was the victim of ongoing animal and sexual abuse from infancy till age till 16. I don't remember 90+percent of it, or my childhood in general, except for a few main extreme trauma "clips" with some parts filled in by other family members who were witnesses. Memories were dangerous so I learned to forget till it became usual for me to forget just about everything and this is very disturbing to me and yet another thing to feel guilt and fear about. I'm afraid I'll remember the abuse and not be able to handle it. I'm afraid that if I don't remember I won't heal. I've never held a job over three months but have worked my entire life (I've had hundreds of jobs) I'm getting very tired and don't know how much longer I can function. I applied for the MAPS MDMA study but was never contacted. Brain imagery of long term chronic abuse subjects brought me some amazing insights, I just don't know what to do with the new knowledge lol. I've been in Therapy for almost forty years but just now have I even heard of Chronic PTSD, I have no doubt I have it. I have many joyous moments but I constantly feel I have so much of value buried so deep. The grief over what could have been and joy regarding what might yet be regarding my potential is overwhelming. Now that I'm middle aged I feel a poignant urgency to heal, its just so hard to dive into a new way of being with no real time support. I have just ordered The Body Keeps the Score and the workbook. I'm hoping I will be able to use it to find some healing therapy near me, in Santa Cruz County, California.
This is so familiar sounding to me. I found his book very helpful, if only for the fact that finally there is a description of my feelings! I wish you all the best.
May I suggest that you look up Internal Family Systems therapy and look for a practitioner that is experienced in trauma recovery. Best of luck to you 🤞
The sound is not perfect. For a non native English speaker like myself is difficult to understand well and focus. It is challenging. But I am very interested in the subject and I like it because the speaker is a professional.
Thank you for the facts of treatment. Dealing w the bodily based problems of the trauma was insightful. I’ve done emdr is was gruesome at times did help somewhat I think because it helped me face the whole trauma. Now I will have some trauma treatments to talk with my therapist. I just started reading the book. It is a very good read but I have to reread many parts to really start to understand what is the core issues me as a cptsd faces. Great program thank you so much
Thank you David for sharing your story! I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. Good on you for having the strength and courage to face your trauma. So glad you were able to get something out of this episode!
A very helpful discussion with Bessel Van Der Kolk. I wish I lived in the USA so that I can access the treatment. I still struggle every day with what I went through as a child & young adult. I have had counselling but it didn't help. I am a 63 year old woman, I suffer physical pain with my back and other things. Have fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue. I just want to be able to enjoy life, & especially my family. I hope to do yoga but because of my Christian faith I will feel guilty for doing this. It makes me sad & frustrated that I still have this problem of trauma affecting my life and health.
Dr Van Der Kolk touched on something for me - the threat of trauma is as bad as the reality of it happening in my experience. Once you know it is possible, it can happen, you spend all your time looking for clues, red flags, signs it's about to happen. It may never happen again but what difference does it make when you've lived your life in fear of it happening?
What I would give to be this mans lab rat 🐀 God Bless him for being so compassionate and honest when we live in a world where prescription medication is given out like candy without any hope of recovery in sight,
Thanks for this interview :) At about 29:00 about reliving the past, one way I've learned to work through an experience of a woman screaming out of horrific pain, which would get triggered every time I went near a manhole imagining a terrible outcome, was to relook at the event from the perspectives of those who I believe contributed to the eventuality of the memory, as in imagining her history, her possible lack of attention, impatience, and how she was brought up and was loved, and who I was staying with, how we became friends, his forgetfulness, lack of focus, etc., how he grew up and was loved, leading up to that moment, in order to realise that I was not fully responsible for the outcome. Had their values and circumstances been different I may have not experienced this memory. Blame and shame tend to contribute to what determines as traumatic, in my opinion, and perhaps embodying this blame and shame to absorb new identities of blameful and shameful is what makes the carrying of the trauma traumatic, as it entangles and/or covers the pure, original identity of the self, which then distorts and blocks out the "original self" from being seen and experienced, thanks to the "impurities" brought on by shame and blame...
Julian... thx for this pointer... shame...blame... I sure have felt myself immersed I this for a long time and have just now realized how much homework I have ahead... Would love any more suggestion from your journey with this. Peace.
thankyou both. Just understanding the Trauma based treatments.. It addresses so much in many peoples life experiences.. Incorporating multiole approaches and reconnecting the mind body chemistry electrical frags. Look forward to obtaining Book🙏thankyou again.
I have been struggling with trauma my whole life. The hard part is honestly trusting anyone. So many people that I've tried to talk with have made it worse. Finding a safe person who actually helps me has been so overwhelming. I stopped trying. I workout, have dogs, dance and try to have positive thoughts and pray. Every day is a battlefield of the mind. I have devoted myself to showing others love and compassion. I think we all desperately need that.
Would you be interested in a conversation? Trust Jesus. Lean on Jesus.
@@giftykiruba1134 thats a major overstep
From what I've learned from UA-cam trauma videos is to find a trauma certified therapist, not a talk therapist or cognitive behavioral therapy.
Bessel Van Der Kolk and Gabor Mate are leaders in this field as far as I know.
I came across psychotherapist Pete Walker on UA-cam yesterday. He spent years as a client himself to heal his cptsd. His book and workbook has great reviews on Amazon. Maybe something worth checking out.
@@schahrzadmorgan
thank you for this information.
happy recovery.
Do you find it's more likely to be weaponized against you than anything? That's been true for me. Although we're mostly saner than the people who do that, IMO!
I think so many of us are realizing we need healing recently. I wish the best for everyone.
"Post traumatic stress is not post trauma. It feels like it's happening right now."
I often describe my life as trying to clean the house or do homework while in the middle of a car wreck. Not just after the accident, not in the moment before, but literally as the car is spinning and flipping. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is going on as well because I just go on with life, pretending the car accident isn't happening and wonder why I'm not able to thrive as well as other people in basic tasks.
Yes, the perception of time is totally different for those who don't suffer from PTSD. They have said to me: "Oh, it's already.....years ago". For me it's not past at all, I am still living it. The event keeps repeating internally as if it's a ghost who can't go to the light (yet)....unfinished business.
Yes, it is. Thank you.
Excellent comment. This is exactly what my life is. Never heard this before.
I am very lucky in that tidying up and mindlessly cleaning is part of my "safety behavior".
How to start to feel safe in your own body if you've survived several s**d attempts and experience those feelings and thoughts everyday?
Skip the rambling intro and go directly to Dr Bessel at 3:38.
yeah, thanks you.. so much rambling.. jeeze..
Big Karma points for you!! Lol👍
bless you x)
Thank you! I didn't think he'd ever shut up 😅
Thank you
25:00 self regulation
Pay attention
Be still
Yoga - Meditation
Integrating mind and body.
Chanting with others
Because of the experience the brain has been changed. Trauma is stored in the body.
Need to feel safe in your body
Massages Dancing.
Take bite size of memories
Understanding why you are messed up does not solve the problem.
What therapies to try:
EMDR
Somatic experience
It seems quite memory-oriented, even though many people don't have clear memories of what happened... especially when it's early relational trauma (not just in the family but also with other children)
Neither religious thought will heal our traumatic wounds
I've been doing all that for nearly 15 years
@@lynne3482 well done Lynne
@@lynne3482 are you free from your trauma? Does it work? 🙂
When you say if you can fight back there may be less trauma, this is why covert abuse is so extremely traumatic in ways most can not conceive. Covert abuse can be EXTREME with no way to fight back and no one else can see the abuse is happening, much less comprehend the impact. Covert abuse is more likely to lead to death than witnessing a shocking event or suffering a physical assault. Covert abuse can last for years without the victim being believed because the abuse is hidden even when the outcome may be seen in the victim's life. Usually the victim is blamed for negative outcome to their life when they are covertly abused. They become isolated due to the abuse being hidden and no one understanding what is actually happening.
This.
Absolutely!! 🙏
It's disgusting. And it can get even more disgusting.
When the covert abuse is by deflecting and make another the bad guy so it instills denial in the victim so they can't even see for themselves what the truth is of what is going on until decades later after stopping numbing psych meds and a round of microdosing magic mushrooms:
8.45
Dr Todd Grande
Nine signs of the narcissistic mother
Mother-Daughter relationships
@@evadebruijn I am so sorry you had to go through any such pain...🙏❤
@@ts3858 Thank you, it nearly destroyed me, it send me to a really dark place, but I am determined to not take anymore crap from anyone ever again.
No contact works for me in getting there.
Trauma is "distress without resolution ". So perhaps we need to widen the net of what qualifies as trauma and not limit it to only extremes like war or rape. Being neglected emotionally as a child by parents who do take care of physical needs still is a trauma.
Dr. Peter Levine talks about this - many small events can yield similar "fruit" when it comes to trauma. It doesnt need to be one catastrophic event.
If you read the book you will see he says that. In fact, you will find a lot of surprising things as well, like why we still don't have a way to officially diagnose C-PTSD. I really recommend you read it. I have found it helpful, just to have someone who has some sort of "official" capacity confirm that everything I have felt because of my trauma was real and normal.
Exactly what happened to me and nothing works ive had years of therapy but pregabalin or lyrica works it closes the nurons in the brain that fire danger signals. Ive had overdoses and 43 years of hell but now im fully functioning and finally happy but the docs want me off of it 😫
I don't think trauma can be solely defined as "distress without resolution", I believe trauma should be defined as "extensive damage to a particular area".
Emotional neglect has been shown to change your brain as well. It is a type of trauma that is much harder to recognize because as Dr. Jonice Webb (who has written about neglect) has said, it is not what your parents DID do, but what they DID NOT do. Far too many people don't know how to tend to their own emotional needs, much less the emotional needs of their children. I suspect this is harder to work through. For me, I can't always recall specific "incidents" to think about during EMDR sessions. I struggle to feel anything actually, but in researching this found that actually is also a symptom of emotional neglect...the difficulty in expressing and understanding your feelings.
It is all ok, from the perspective of someone who has a PTSD, sometimes yoga increase anxiety and panic. With yoga it is more important to get the right dose and to gain safety for time. Because when you do streching of fascia some of as they call samskaras will eventually come up. From my own expirience I had severe panic atacks doing yoga. Grounding is the most important step. Feeling body. Stay present in body. EMDR is great because it takes away the wall of feeling difficult emotions. Sometimes runing, or gym can be helpfull. Walking and stay present is also good. Breathing deeply in youre pelvis. Feeling the presure of chair and bed, also grounding. These are all elements of somatic practice.
As a vocalist: choir was the happiest part of my college education. It was the only thing that relieved my stress. It’s very physical and the breathing was so helpful. I would go in totally discouraged and come out totally fine. Five days a week for seven years. I could always find relief, I just didn’t know it at the time. And when I graduated the anxiety really kicked back in.
It's important to let those negative emotions come out and release. From someone with severe anxiety, the best thing you can do is let them express, live the panic, let it be. The problem for anxiety and PTSD is continuously trying to escape from them. Trust me, let them storm in you, and afterwards you will feel incredibly released and lighter. Let's go 💪
Meditation gives me panic. So I get the yoga panic connection.
@Dirk Walter meditation and yoga may help some people. I do sit quietly and observe but trying to use meditation techniques actually gets in the way of that for me. I do quiet breathing and observation of my emotions when it feels right. Sitting for a required daily meditation doesn't feel natural. I don't like wellness advice in general though so I do have a bias against most wellness "coaches " and life "coaches. " We can own our healing. Everyone has their own path.
Zl
Skip the first 3½ minutes is an advertisement for the podcast. Dr Van der Kolk is a very interesting man and his book is fascinating.
Dr. Van derkolk knows and articulates trauma as accurately as I have experienced it. Profound. I am creative & doing my own research on myself for recovery by paying attention, trying things, journaling, & observing my patterns of feelings, bad past stories. Being "Gentle", baby steps using new inner dialog, breath, good routines, exercise, books, music, sing, nature, prayer, trusting myself, photo therapy, safe social connections, creative projects are all my practice. I've made progress, and "slow, gentle and steady is my pace". I feel we have a healing capability.The heavy part is loneliness, acceptance while creating a new life. Wonderful Interview.
Wow. Thanks for sharing Makayla. Happy to hear this resonates with you and you are experiencing success in recovery!
The loneliness is definitely a difficultly. I know how you feel. I am looking for ways to connect with people and not isolate as much. God bless you in your healing journey.
@@wm.robertlux8934 You make friends with yourself and the world. People, animals and nature will respond with your openness. A lil' chat with the store clerk can do wonders;-)
ua-cam.com/video/KalA5o8YG2k/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/v-deo.html
My childhood trauma made a mess out of my adult life. I’m 52 just now finding out where all my dysfunction comes from. I’m just now changing my perception of the world and my place in it. Forgiving myself for being victimized (my most familiar emotions are shame, guilt, anger, hopelessness) I live with chronic pain, fatigue, addiction & loneliness.
It doesn’t help that my family keeps triggering me with narcissistic game play. Thankfully I live alone.
I divorced my family. Best decision of my life...
ua-cam.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/v-deo.html
I totally get what you’re dealing with, it’s hell. I hate social situations because of how often I feel triggered. It can feel hopeless, researching has helped me understand so much, especially that I’m not actually a ‘weird’ person, just traumatised from childhood emotional neglect and a long and marriage.
I'm doing an online program which has been an eye opening journey, the trauma which has come up, developmental, emotional, mental and physical in childhood. It's been a very healing journey, it's a high end healing program to help you find that inner connection to yourself, find yourself trusting going within, it's very meditation and yoga based, self realisation at the core....i know longer get triggered by my mother, and with family I am able to walk away if conversations trigger me, get disconnected, I am able to breath and get back into my centre x It's amazing, but hard work to reset our nervous system but what choice do you have when triggers all around you make you ill. I have had auto immune issues for over a decade, now I feel I am coming out of this xx Breath, Reset, Thrive is the program, a lady called Julie Kent x
As a trauma survivor with panic disorder for 25 yrs, this is one of the best videos ever, and I’ve watched thousands. Will listen many times more.
I loved his book, The Body keeps the Score
Definitely read this book if you haven’t. It’s truly life changing.
And there's a breathing technique you can use for panic attacks and it works instantly , you force everything to slow down because you're actually you start breathing and you count while you slowly let out your breath and you just take a quick breath in through the nostrils hold that and blow out through your mouth while you're counting I think maybe four to five six maybe I don't know I can't remember I haven't done it in a while but it actually stops you from having those panic attacks but you have to look it up or ask your doctor , Navy seals use it when they try to calm in a really dangerous situation and it works instantly and eventually you won't even have the panic attacks unless you wake up suddenly at night with them I did that for a while then they stopped I take nutritional yeast at bedtime.🐠
yes
I am so grateful people are doing things like this now. I am in my early 70's and was diagnosed with bipolar 15 - 20 years ago. But as I got older and could not hold a job I started self-reflecting and journalling, intensely. And I figured out that people raised similar to me would exhibit nearly the same symptoms as bipolar. There were many issues but the root problem was that I thought I would be killed there, and looking back it was not an illogical concern.
Please read Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman Lewis. She said that those symptoms that the doctors label as "bipolar" are actually Chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD).
P.S. My sister and I thought that we would be killed in our childhood too. I'm 75. (So much for "the good old days.")
I guess that you have been working with toxic people and your talents, interests, and skills also were not in your natural mastery. My work has always been more overwhelming because it was physically traumatic and injury of repeated motions when I am a creative person.
@@susanmercurio1060 So does Dr Bessel van der Kolk in the book reviwed here.
@@Flinshot1 No I wasn't working with toxic people! That is the thing about it !
This man is amazing and his research and treatment is so gentle and down to Earth. I’m so grateful for people who understand sensitivity and the importance of emotions and feeling
ua-cam.com/video/gcioCjMEqrM/v-deo.html
I had a severe panic attack when I was 24 that I’m starting to realize has shaped my life ever since. It’s like I’m always on high alert trying to make sure that doesn’t happen again, and it’s been 11 years.
I feel u.
Learning the physiology of a panic attack helped me a lot, understanding what happens in your body when they occur helped me not be afraid of it. A lot of doctors don’t take the time to explain that everything you feel is real, it may not kill you but it is 100% real, it is not imagined. I recommend reading about it from a physiology perspective, understand why you feel tingling, blurred vision, chest pressure, etc, and if it ever happens again you just stay still, you keep telling yourself i know what this is, I have felt it before and it will be ok.
Trauma is what is left behind when we experience an event where we lack the ability to cope and our caregivers fail to meet those needs. There are so many holistic ways to move through trauma - you can utilize movement practices to move stuck emotions - yoga, walking, dancing, somatic exercises, qi gong, tai chi, etc.; you can incorporate breathwork to work with your physiology to bring your heart rate and blood pressure into normal limits; taking control of your thoughts/behaviours - understanding what unhelpful coping mechanisms you've put in place to keep you safe, knowing how your thoughts can be controlled and to change them to healthier thoughts before it results in reactions; inner child work - provide yourself with what you lacked as a child - you didn't feel safe, provide yourself with safety; didn't get to play because you were a caregiver for your parents - play now! It's nice to see that trauma and mental health healing is becoming more prevalent.
35.16 you should not pay for treatments like that, can someone please explain what it is, and if it is not rational then what is it
@@tousifk3138 you shouldn't pay for someone to tell you: your trauma was a long time ago, it's now July 2022, you shouldn't feel that way. It's somatic, stored in the body. The way I describe it is this - Your mind, body and spirt all suffer through the traumatic experience. As we get older, logically we can understand the trauma happened a long time ago, but the way our mind has rewired itself to protect us and misfires. Your body stores the emotional portion. When we move the emotions from our body we move the trauma through and out of us. Does that make sense?
@@mindbodyspirithealthy thanks for taking ur time to write, how can the body store it when emotions are a part of mind, how do we move the emotions from the body, and do u mean the brain has rewired itself or the mind had rewired itself,am from India not much help here
@@tousifk3138 Our emotions are generated and stored in the body. We think they come from the mind, but they aren't. Our thoughts drive our emotions though. So, you have to watch your thoughts as a part of regulating your emotions. Think about when you are sad and you feel that sensation spread through your chest, or you feel your throat constrict, you feel the tears welling up. They are all physical expressions of our emotions. The mind, is the thoughts. Thinking "I feel sad" or "I'm furious!" is the part that the mind carries. The brain, it's neuropathways (the nerves that run through your brain from one region another), wires to respond at lightning speeds in habitual ways. If every time you get angry you yell, your brain wires that response to your anger, it becomes your go - to reaction. You have to rewire your brain overtime, that when you get angry, you remain calm and in charge of your emotions. Eventually, new neuropathways are laid down and the new response of anger and calm will become your go-to response. I hope that makes sense. You can always follow me on Facebook. I share lots of information about trauma, mental health, resiliency and healing. Tanya Baldwin RN- Mind Body Spirit Healthy Self.
So all the ecstacy I was taking in my teens was helping me process all my trauma? Honestly it makes sense. It was the only thing that made me feel joy back then.
Me to :)
do you feel like your trauma is processed now?
@@sobean9309 def not all of it but I have alot of trauma
I took ecstasy in 2001, ever since, I have got faith in a Creator. I was recently wishing I had hold of some ecstasy as I used to do it alone and it helped. I am not advocating the use of illegal drugs though, you never know what you are getting on the black market.
@@kr1221E ook
"Trauma is not a story, it changes the brain" I haven't watched the video yet but THANK YOU!
Indeed it does. I have HPA axis dysfunction...result of severe, lifelong trauma, bc my body kept the score.
Childhood trauma changes the brain,and the child's life forever. 😔 its difficult to explain. Im 42 and just had a retraumatizing incident that broke me. I don't think I've got much left to give and yet here I am.
I hope that you have healed from the incident. I had a realization recently that was painful. But I processed it and I am ok. Recently I’ve realized that as an adult, I CAN CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE now because it’s a memory and not the trauma itself. And I now have the power to protect myself. I still get triggered, but this new perspective continues to help put space between memories and feelings.
@@maybeme94 just remember it's not your fault. It changes the brain structure too
46 and fighting my way through this. I am realizing that I have NEVER felt safe. Never in my whole life and especially not with my recent ex, who just abandoned us and left us stranded 5 states away from my entire family and all my friends. My whole life. I cannot fathom trusting anyone anymore.
solidarity
I hope with time and selfcare you will find someone you can trust and share
take care and keep trying
4:30 I *don't* "try to forget". I can't stop remembering.
8:04 I had a "trauma therapist" who told me that, because I'm no longer having flashbacks and recurring nightmares from the abuse in my childhood (60 years ago), the PTSD just "went away." (I told her that I didn't want to work with her.)
I am so sorry to hear that Susan. These people really don’t even have a basic grasp of trauma and it pisses me off they can charge people.
@@JiaFit : Yes, and the fact that she could pass herself off as a "trauma therapist"! I pity those who are easily led around by an "authority." She would make them worse, not better.
There are soooooo many ridiculous therapists out there - its like mcdonalds or Bloomingdales ….
did it just go away?
@@bkirstie No, it just went into another phase.
In Trauma and Recovery, Judith Lewis Herman talks about three phases of trauma: the early phase, the active phase of nightmares and flashbacks, and a third phase of "freeze," or a kind of numbness.
None of those therapists know anything about the final phase. If you aren't having nightmares and flashbacks, you apparently don't have trauma.
Fight or flight, or freeze. His focus on trauma resulting in "victims" suffering from a sense of being stuck in a rut - frozen - was a revelation to me. I experienced childhood trauma and, later, addiction. Once in recovery thanks to MAT I suffered from this phenomena, the sense that the world was just happening to me, that I was powerless to affect change. What a freeing insight.
I love this place. I came from Gabor Mate forums, and all ppl do there is exalting Gabor for how wonderful, kind, and genius he is...instead of talking about their life experiences. I got fed up with it.
Be the best you can be, and love yourself. Find strength in loving God outside of a religion, and inside of yourself.
This is what I do on the daily.
This comment is meant to be helpful so please accept it that way, or reject it. Blessings!
@@KatWoodland blessings to u as well.
Is it true that the arts can help heal trauma too? Painting, writing?
I’ve had PTSD for my whole life and I have had no luck finding help out there as far as therapist go. Americas health care system is a complete mess. We have so many people in need of healing but they don’t know where to turn and they can’t afford health care.
The educational system feeds into the trauma instead of helping ( I’m sure not every school is as bad as some that I have witnessed through trying to work in them ...for the past ten years or so but it is a very sad thing to witness what is happening in many of our schools.
Anyway, I have practiced yoga, dancing, meditation, chanting, nature walks, breathing techniques and many other things and they have all helped so much!
I still have a way to go.
You are so so right that these things should be taught to every child, starting at an early age. We’d have a healed society.
Painful problem and by not healing people they grow up and create more trauma (for others and themselves)
Art and writing do help a lot
things that can help: EMDR, EFT tapping, TRE www.traumaprevention.com, yoga, movement, LDN (low-dose Naltrexone) ldnresearchtrust.org and vagus nerve exercises
@@iergjsglsdhgoajsfjaslkdf Thank you! I have never heard of LDN. I have a skin condition and I’ve had Alepicia. I take Ashwaganda and magnesium which seems to help the hair loss but not the skin condition which has plagued me for 30 years. They think it is Tinea Versicolor but I’m not so sure.
@@mellowray561 it can be tough to find a dr. to prescribe it, there are telehealth doctors who will, and private Facebook groups with more info. There are also 2 books about it.
I have never had a hero before, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, you are that
Thank you Bessell van der Kolk. I have suffered all my life from this and now ,at 75 understand what it is. Good to know I am not to blame or feel shame. Could of used this years ago when had the time to improve my life. Such is my journey.
It's not too late!
I wish I could find videos, articles, and/studies on the trauma of loneliness. Not having someone harm you, but rather having no one at all. What happens to a person that for whatever reason can't create and maintain relationships from childhood through adulthood. Everyone doesn't have family and friends, but it's never talked about how these people function and live. Instead people (children and adults) are looked at as pariahs as if something MUST be wrong with them which is also traumatic.
Also, I'd like to see research on how trauma and mental illness can and does for some make you look older and what can be done about it.
If anybody has any suggestions, I hear for them.
I have no advice but sending you love ❤️ you will heal ❤️
I found most health professionals and and employers are very willing to invest in helping young people, if you are older, your trauma, patterns your brain and behavior more deeply. It's harder when your older to find help. It really is.
@@Myohomoto, yes it is, but honestly it's hard to find help because most people aren't interested in putting in the time and effort to do so. I had the same issues finding help when I was younger. For some of us it just takes more than a few kind words and a pat on the back.
Loneliness and isolation is a huge problem. Most of the callers to suicide hotlines are suffering through this. It’s hard when you have no family to then make friends that are genuine and reliable. My advice, work on yourself. Continuing education, attain a special skill youre passionate about. This will attract people to you.
@@ayemiksenoj5254 a lot of bad mental health professionals that waste your time and money. Keep looking but online help is a good idea.
That was an excellent interview. Not just the information shared but the interviewer's style and interview technique - spot on! I'll be listening to more.
Developmental Trauma Disorder is something that Bessel Van Der Kolk is all about . . . he understands Complex Chronic PTSD not just single events . . . it includes childhood surgeries too.
I'm certain surgery combined with sexual exparance adult responses a young age all contribute to a kind of emotional estrangment
ua-cam.com/video/KalA5o8YG2k/v-deo.html
Thank you for the work you’re doing. It’s helping a lot of us trauma sufferers deal with the problem.
This is so great to hear the information from this podcast is having an impact. Thank you for stopping by to share that James!
It is said that the voice carries the emotion. You can see how this is true. Chanting alone also does help in other ways besides sincing up with other people. It helps release and move through emotions. It can be very very healing in that way. It also helps a person move into feeling the vibration of the voice in the body, the vibration of sound so brings in that somatic reconection and healing, it also helps build capacity to sit that may be too overwhelming in silence and inaction but coupled with chanting is very regulating and rescourcing.
Pat Fluegel is this why I don’t want to talk my voice triggers me
@@CScripture Interesting. Two ways that people get activation in response to their voice come to mind. One, some people have unresolved issues in their friendship with themself and they have an adverse reaction to the sound of their voice because they dont accept/unconditional love themselves. The other is when there is a lot of pent up unresolved emotion. So the way to work with them can be different. But, if you find you have unresolved emotion pent up gently and a little at a time working with vocalization, whether it starts with just doing long "Ahhhh" sounds soft/loud then breathing and seeing what comes up/how that feels. Oms, trying singing with part of a song you like, chanting just a little -and while paying attention to what you feel emotionally. Letting a little bit of that out. Paying attention to how your body/you settles after.
I used to be very frustrated and angry in my life (covering sadness/PTSD) and for me it really helped chanting every day, that frustration and pain would come out in the voice and pass through. I also used not to be able to sing because I would always start crying -the emotion bottled up would come through, but it helped. I usually chant every day now. Its good for the nervous system , through the vagus nerve, but just in so many ways. It helps calm and build resilience and regulation into the nervous system.
But it is something to be aware of if it's very potent as you say you notice in yourself (It's great you are aware of that) and to titrate, to start exploring working with it gently and in small doses if you are interested in moving through that then integrating what you find out.
Pat Fluegel really wish I knew how I got this trauma in my body and ear 👂 it rings too and if I yell it muffled and I can’t breathe and feel out of control with rage also / anger
@@CScripture Im sorry to hear that. It sounds unpleasant with the rage and anger. and, these are things you can work with and feel better/calmer/more regulated. Everyone's path is different, but you may consider trying a somatic experiencing practitioner. They can help with this sort of nervous system dysregulation and also trauma healing. there is also something called the safe and sound protocol which is based on the same nervous system information (polyvagal theory) which can help with tinnitus (ringing in the ears). But the Somatic Experiencing is good to do before the safe and sound protocol. The website for SE is traumahealing.org and they list some therapists, but you can also just search locally. Most people are doing teletherapy on zoom etc. right now with the virus. I encourage you to explore options, whatever they are, to bring in more regulation and ease to your experience.
@@pattyfluegel7816 Thank you for all this information.
Thanks Matt for having long conversations with Dr. Van der Kolk. 👨✈️✌🏼
The questions you asked answered many of mine too. 🧘♀️☄️
God Bless You, Bessel Van Der Kolk ♥️
many, many thanks for your extraordinary work and making it available to so many who will benefit from it.
To feel fully safe you have to unpack and honour all your demons and shadow parts by feeling their negative emotions and accepting that they are valid...Bessel says trauma is only when something horrendous happens, but that's not true. Emotional neglect causes brain damage, autoimmune disease, addiction and adhd. And in our society, most kids are emotionally neglected, by parents who were so emotionally neglected, they don't even know they are supposed to love their children. Sadhguru has some beautiful videos about how to become your child's guru, inspiring them to be their best through being interested in them, and showing love.
Gabor Mate speaks about this as well.
@@beatsg anyone who knows anything speaks about it, it's clearly true
@@beatsg the issue is, that we are a species that is still evolving and highly traumatised people are having children before healing themselves
Many years ago while I was searching for some answers I came across a psychiatric study that said mental abuse is worse for children than physical abuse. Kids understand slaps and punches hurt your body but don't understand the meaning of the words whose scars never heal.
i have so much respect for his holistic/spiritual approach to healing trauma!!
this is where knowledge becomes wisdom ✨
For those with physical limitations that can't participate in Yoga, a Tens Unit might be helpful. I have found it not only helps with chronic pain it helps me meditate also. It's very soothing.
Whats ten units?
@@marialejadrale A tens unit is a device that sends electrical impulses, through your body in different wave lengths that you choose with a hand held device. They are around $35 US. Can be found a pharmacies. I got mine at Amazon. I use it every day. It's the best non invasive pain treatment I've ever found.
@@marialejadrale It has also helped CPTSD. Probably because I find meditation so easy with this device. It really is the best sort of "medicine" I've found.
This was só goddamn therapeutic. I've been making use of mdma and psilocybin in the past for some time now and felt real changes in my mind taking place afterwards, I mean, literally, physical responses in my brain. Because I've had a lifetime of traumatic experiences, these changes have been taking place for quite some time, ever since I started, which was two years ago. And it feels so uplifting to have someone confirm that what I'm experiencing, this battle within my mind of an "empathic self" vs my "scared self", is completely normal, and hopefully have this contradiction resolved within the mind, with the victory of my "empathic self" that can relate positively to the world.
how often did you take mdma until you felt permanent changes? i've been taking it twice now in a "therapeutic" setting and i had the most incredible experience and eye-opener but even though i wrote everything down that i learned during that experience it did not go deep enough to change my feelings of being completely unsafe etc. so i was wondering how long it took you until the changes came to the roots of the trauma as well?
They taught me too, it's getting hold of them that's the problem, due to prohibition.
Started somatic experiencing over a year ago & it's been life changing
Any therapy focusing on the physical body as the grounding tool will have tremendously positive results. The limbic system responds remarkably well to feeling/experiencing/noticing/being aware of your physical body. It establishes safe- therefore allowing the parasympathetic to activate. I have based several tools in my own work on this theory/hypothesis and seen remarkable results (though at this point the focus on the body as the frame of reference for safe is becoming accepted).
From my experience, many physical and psychological injuries (trauma) happen during the times of pregnancy and birth. A time which is excluded in studies of psychology and psychotherapy.
This is so true!
agree, tell me more...or point to some sources.
Check out Gabor mate for his views on pregnancy and the mother's elevated cortisol levels
I love Gabor Mate. 😭😭😭
KT 💙
When my brother's wife was pregnant, I noticed my father was being predatory towards her, often times bugging her while she would be in the kitchen.
Nothing physical or sexual; I sensed wickedness in his tone while talking to her which I had never noticed when she wasn't pregnant.
The result?
She gave birth to a boy, who at few months old started banging his head on the wall and hit other stuff on his head.
I've baby sat 10+ kids throughout my life, and he seems to be the only kid who banged and hit his head.
It didn't seem normal to me and I still don't find it normal.
I read the thumbnail as "Trauma is not a story. It changes the menu". Oddly enough that really resonated with me.
I'm here to let y'all know,
as I watch this video...
that I have made a firm and magical and miraculous
and complete commitment,
that from this moment forward,
I am 100% changing my life around (for the better!).
I receive and accept: health, wealth, and love.
what a beautiful day to be be alive!!
May 22nd, 2022. it's the 22/22 pleadian portal of magic!
stay blissed and stay blessed, my friends.
Watching my father not being helped to eat & drink in the nursing home i was forced to put him into, by the hospital (they threatened not to treat him if i didn't agree to him going into 'care' ). They say i can go to the Royal Commission. That won't bring my father back. Sometimes the ones who are supposed to heal are the ones who do the harm ! And then we're left with our memories & flashbacks, trying to stitch back the remnants of our life after being thoroughly emotionally distressed over and over again.
If you can pay a visit to see your father then help your family instead of complaining.Ask the management of that place of how they don’t have enough staffing to take care of everyone.I speak on behalf of the healthcare workers who intentionally wants to help everyone but not supported by the management.Blame to the ones who created the rules that short staffing is “safe” in Nursing Homes”
@@mychannelnotyoursI read what you replied to differently. You say you are replying from the place of a health careworker. I think his/her father died. In this awful scenario, lies his trauma. Your response will reignite his/her trauma.
@@gracemcloughlin9305Hello, Grace. Yes. My father died. There were many losses before losing him there. Thank you for being so thoughtful. Trauma does change you. I struggle to stay calm. Fell apart many times due to multiple ongoing losses since childhood. I am grateful for the things that go right. And try to contend with that which goes wrong. But feeling fragile after so many shocks is normal. Your response to the other writer there helped me somehow. Thank you for writing it. Health to you. Kim.
Love how he mentions psychedelics won’t be legal but here we are three years after this interview and have MDMA assisted treatment
Not here we don't. MDMA scored illegally helped me years ago, but I would not recommend buying it on the black market, as you don't know if it''s MDMA.
I developed fibromyalgia from my childhood traumas and the mental issues that come with it.
I hope this episode helped bring some kind of peace
Yes thank you so much!
@@buffy377 this makes us so happy to hear. Thank you for listening Buffy!
Shamanic studies has also helped me to learn and incorporate my shadow side. I encourage anyone who feels like all is lost to look into that universal primative way of facing your fears and learn to love your demons so they dont rule you.
Me to has anything helped u
My child hood trauma messes me up so much. I tried to avoid the feelings etc .listening to this gives me insight and hope. 🤩. I am going to look at a yoga class and more reading and listening material and face my past which holds me in its grips now . Great podcast
Love this guy, he knows exactly what I experience everyday
I feel like my doctors think I’m getting better because the many, many psychiatric medications I’m on make me numb and I don’t act out anymore. But the emotions are still bubbling under the surface. It’s manifesting in disease. Years of childhood abuse, then two abusive husbands have destroyed my sense of self. I’m stuck. Now I have lupus, fibromyalgia, stage 3 kidney disease, liver disease, diabetes, thyroid disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and I have artificial hips, a fused spine on four levels, and an artificial shoulder, as well as TMJ. I grind my teeth so hard I grinder four teeth out of my head. My dental problems are horrible all because I can’t stop grinding. I don’t feel like anyone cares. It’s too much to carry. I’m only 51 but I’m afraid I’m going to die young because of all of this. I saw a quote the other day that hurt me so much. It said mental illness isn’t your fault but it’s your responsibility. That may be true but what about when you don’t know where to start? What about when no one seems to care? I was suicidal for so long. I want to live now but it doesn’t seem I have much to live for.
I hear you and I see you. I have had some of the same thoughts 🖤
I see you and feel you. I don't even know where to begin to get the help I need. I am dealing with ongoing medical issues that continually make me feel unsafe and relive past medical trauma. I am stuck in an endless loop and I can't escape. Hoping you are doing better ❤
Please read Healing back pain by Dr John Sarno and The great pain deception by Steve Ozanich xx
Kathy,
Thank you for your comment about forgiving yourself. Easier said than done. ..
I love how Bessel explains the work of trauma. As someone who has PTSD, i tried meditation and yoga also and got much worse. Somatic Practice, Expirience, EMDR, even boxing heleped me shift somwhow. I was frozen for two years before working EMDR therapy. I would like to try psychedelics, but it is only on research level.
Why do you think yoga made you feel worse?
@@tnt01it could be bc distractions help cover the pain.
I'm so inspired and hopeful after listening to this interview.
I find it jarring how tone-deaf the interviewer comes across. Like he's ticking off a list of questions someone else prepared for him, while he's mentally on some other assignment. Dr van der Kolk, on the other hand, feels empathetic, gentle, and deeply knowledgeable about his topic.
Bc he is the ultimate expert.
agreeing with most of this! I even became an EFT practitioner to do my part. I just wanted to say that one of the most powerful techniques was the neurofeedback that he mentions. It handles gentle rewiring in a way that nothing else can do. It takes many sessions to complete the series, but was worth every penny and every minute. it's a very very pleasant technique.
This is a very very very very very useful podcast.. thank you so much for doing it. 💐💐
Fr though I do yoga often, and I deep breathe all day
Box breathing 4 in 4 hold 4 out
PMR while meditating (progressive muscle relaxation)
LOTS OF WATER 💧
Extreme trauma and I’m still kicking. Gonna take this advice further to heart ❤️
Hi, I am new here. I bought The Body Keeps the Score yesterday, and stayed up to the wee hours reading it. Bessel is to blame for my lack of sleep😀
Show notes and time stamps!!! Thank you for this work on our behalves.
This is incredibly insightful, thank you so much for posting this!
The court system retraumatises you
EMDR therapy is wonderful!!!
Thanks SO MUCH for your knowledge 😊 🙏 ☺ 🙂 👍
need more people who actually have first hand, real life experience with Trauma doing interviews with this Dr. I wonder if he ever feels like this is boring but he's doing a service?
The focus on safety as the grounding mechanism, and that the body IS the grounding tool is 100% correct. I completely agree with BVDK, and actually reached the exact same conclusion with my own specific work (more muscularly based- addressing long term guarding patterns that are locked in the limbic system) based on results/research. We may have reached a different conclusion on how to do this, but I agree 100% on the goal! Love his work and this is a great video.
I had the same opinion as Dr VanDer Kalk in regards to making some of these self regulating techniques mandatory curriculum at schools. I see this as an aide to unknown maladies such as abuse etc and also a preventative measure for the root of other issues. Hearing his opinion definitely makes me feel validated. I also had the thought that our countries defense and law enforcement sector would most definitely benefit from the same training prior to deployment or induction into service.
I got C-PTSD from an abusive relationship with someone who had BPD. Such hell.
You aren't alone my friend. You were not designed to connect with someone so sick.
Know you can and will return to a state more true to yourself.
@@loveconqueror Thanks and I know.
This is freaking awsome!!!!! Thank you so much for making this!!!
You're so welcome. So happy you took something away from this!
Grow a brain sweetheart. They (fkn) failed you w this clown show. Read my (fkn) comments above.
www.vrt.be/vrtnu/a-z/als-je-eens-wist--extra-s/1/als-je-eens-wist--extra-s-s1a4/
www.vrt.be/vrtnu/a-z/als-je-eens-wist--extra-s/1/als-je-eens-wist--extra-s-s1a5/
@@pablomartinyoujunior How are you takling to ppl you don't know punk? Take your (fkn) meds and fuck off pissant
@@luckyhack78
P ppl
.
..
I've lived entire life of running from abuse abuse from home abuse from. partner parent alienation of that X partner turning my kids against me I've lived in high state of terror hyperviligance from the fright of not been able to stop what I was living in my life I still feel that terror and can't unlock myself out of it as it's from forty years of ripple effects of child abuse
I am so sorry. Sometimes it takes a long time to acknowledge our abuse... and how we hold on that things aren't as they seem or that the people causing the harm will change. Having been raised by two narcissists myself, and only after my mother dealt me a blow that ruined my life two and a half years ago, from which I am only now barely recovering with the help of my trauma therapist... if you can afford to see a psychiatrist/psychologist spacialised in trauma therapy and EMDR, maybe you will find the relief that you need to rebuild your life and find comfort in your own body! I wish you the best of luck!
Emdr could be good therapy. Google it
It's really important to create a SAFE living environment. Google 'Maslow Hierarchy' for a visual of this. It is the FOUNDATION for everything.
Me too.
@@echase416 sometimes you can't.
My childhood destroyed my life.
Became totally attached to relationships no matter how bad and destroyed the good ones.My mother did a hell of number on me.
😢
Getting on the back of my husband’s motorcycle is what is helping me. It causes grounding without hyper vigilance. I made the mistake of trying EMDR with a therapist still in training so that is on my list but with someone with much more experience.
Wow, thank you so much. I need a doctor like you . I've tried all the , "understanding" counseling and have felt like a failure. Thank you recognizing that this trauma has become part of physicality of my body. I wish there was a nerve block to just stop the trauma response like a nerve block for physical pain. Even neurofeedback is difficult. When people have physical pain a doctor can identify the nerve pain and numb the nerve pain but trauma pain is still up to our ability to do it on our own.
The trauma response is your limbic system screaming "you are not safe". This can be reprogrammed. I have specialized work to create this exact response- the reset of the limbic system state by use of the physical body for grounding purposes (in an extremely strong and powerful way). I actually first created this work to deal with muscular/structural pain issues, and realized how applicable (actually perfect) it was to trauma states. Remember that trauma just like physical pain has a purpose, and just blocking it without understanding the cause can cause issues down the road as well.
reaffirming me... whew I've been THROUGH IT over and over since birht ! I needed a reminder it's not because I have a victim mentality or a negative attitude... especially now with the world in chaos . I'm doing the best I can and that is all I can do.
What a great, positive attitude M!
You go, M!! I am so done with all the victim blaming. We are survivors.
ua-cam.com/video/KalA5o8YG2k/v-deo.html
@@lilarain9310 ua-cam.com/video/KalA5o8YG2k/v-deo.html
Yep, I just signed up for the email list, and I am definitely finding this podcast! I also shared it with a friend! This is the best trauma help out there!!!
That is so great to hear Jennifer! I hope this helps your friend and anyone you might know that is experiencing trauma!
yoga and meditation are so good and i appreciate you saying this; when im triggered those are the last things i want to do. same with chanting! but sometimes it feels like recovery is so slow and like im moving backwards... ive chanted when feeling terrible many many times. as well as when feel good. but hallucinogens and mda do not solve anything for someone with a history of addiction. in fact they are dangerous.
When in fight/fight/freeze- the last thing your limbic system wants is ANY change. So it will fight you. Your own brain will fight you. I have many different versions of this "fight". Because any change is being perceived as unsafe- unconsciously. This can be shifted. I refer to this as "shifting states" and it is a process.
We tried exposure therapy, reading and re-reading an account of trauma. Every day for months, and honestly I couldn't always get through the account. Crying, sobbing, screaming, it was torture. I honestly think it made the situation worse by tainting things and places that were tolorable were now associated with trauma and has ruined things and places by retraumatizing and making them PART of the trauma.
I can dig what you're saying. After attending many 12 step meetings and watching others get better and better realized drugs&alcohol saved me from total despair. I found out about ACOA and it fit my dysfunctional self and so-called family to a T. But alas truth did not set me free. Without direct human support like a very good therapist having scabs is healthier than a bloody open wound.Be kind to yourself Mr greg...
I'm done with talk therapy as well. I'm looking into somatic experiencing (requires no talk therapy, it's about releasing the trauma trapped in your body)
@@susanmazzella865 AA is underrated andor under appreciated. It is a true miracle in most lives who can manage to work the whole program (Step 3!! and then 4-9).
@@susanmazzella865 Yes!! I am a harm reduction advocate. Sometimes taking the "vice" away before the person has the support and tools to deal with the real problem is actually unwise. (drugs & alcohol are the person's solution) ACA is amazing I knew I found my people after 1 meeting
Reliving/rebooting old neuro pathways where the guarding and "trauma" exists in the brain can have the opposite effect, or a negative impact on our state. It can push us further into fight/flight. We are dealing with reflexes. Unconsciously programmed reflexes that our brain created in the effort to keep us safe. It must be handled and reprogrammed as such, as a reflex. With the new trauma you experienced, you made new unconscious associations to locations and things that your brain now associates with that trauma or "unsafe" state. This can be reprogrammed, but we must find some strong grounding first- so that "safe" is established first throughout the process.
What a great conversation. Thank you so much
There is no mention of childhood bullying in the book and victimization. The goal should be to feel 'empowered" and to regain the locus of control, not just to be able to see that this 'ongoing chronic trauma" happened in the past...it was not a one-time event, and the psycho-sociopath responsible is just in another location...as an explanation to why it is not occurring presently. The solution is to confront in certain cases.
30:00 feeling safe in your own body
34:41 explaining doesn’t help, I.e. it happened long ago; not a problem you can rationally solve
Thanks 🙏
I stick my middle finger up to those self-help gurus who shame us for looking back, saying "Get over it". Having tried their ways, I now must try this way. It's about healing. It's about trying to heal. 😊
he says people can seperate body and mind connection while doing cardio. So more mindfull exercises such as yoga is better for trauma healing. that is interesting
16:00 so awesome about these studies and research how yoga is more beneficial then drug meds 41:19 love these healing tools
I have severe chronic pain due to multiple traumas in childhood and adult life. I’ve had a lot of help (EMDR, therapy, yoga etc) but I still struggle. I purchased the Body Keeps the Score over a year ago and I’m still afraid to read it and completely melt down. I do my yoga every day and yes it does help the physical pain, but it doesn’t really fix anything in the long term. My body is getting physically stronger which is appreciated.
Thank you for honesty.
Hope you a 100% success
I'm struggling with a recent trauma, less than two months ago when I fell, fracturing both my elbows , although I'm slowly recovering, my right elbow makes me feel quite sick and unsafe. This has been life changing but I am determined to make a full recovery. Chanting certainly helps. Warm regards, Yvonne
I contracted Covid at work last year
Without treatment options I developed brain dysfunction and several traumatic events followed
I was given strong meds which caused more harm than good
I was engaged last year and I became disassociated from the trauma and stress
I’m trying to recover within a broken health care system
this is an amazing talk! so much wisdom!
ua-cam.com/video/KalA5o8YG2k/v-deo.html
Excellent interview! Thank you; I’m learning so much.
Awesome to hear!!
Grow a brain sweetheart. They (fkn) failed you w this clown show. Read my (fkn) comments above.
ua-cam.com/video/KalA5o8YG2k/v-deo.html
Must read his book this explains so much about trauma.
Thank you for this podcast 🤍
Grow a brain sweetheart. They (fkn) failed you w this clown show. Read my (fkn) comments above.
Thank you for explaining why sitting in meditation is so hard for trauma victims, its not a character flaw but a side effect of trauma. This was wonderful, and I will look into these methodologies although I am trepidatious regarding feeling any real hope or joy regarding finding these methodologies as so many many times in the past I found something I hoped would be "it" regarding successful therapies, only to become more enlightened, but not on any real healing path. I was the victim of ongoing animal and sexual abuse from infancy till age till 16. I don't remember 90+percent of it, or my childhood in general, except for a few main extreme trauma "clips" with some parts filled in by other family members who were witnesses. Memories were dangerous so I learned to forget till it became usual for me to forget just about everything and this is very disturbing to me and yet another thing to feel guilt and fear about. I'm afraid I'll remember the abuse and not be able to handle it. I'm afraid that if I don't remember I won't heal. I've never held a job over three months but have worked my entire life (I've had hundreds of jobs) I'm getting very tired and don't know how much longer I can function. I applied for the MAPS MDMA study but was never contacted. Brain imagery of long term chronic abuse subjects brought me some amazing insights, I just don't know what to do with the new knowledge lol. I've been in Therapy for almost forty years but just now have I even heard of Chronic PTSD, I have no doubt I have it. I have many joyous moments but I constantly feel I have so much of value buried so deep. The grief over what could have been and joy regarding what might yet be regarding my potential is overwhelming. Now that I'm middle aged I feel a poignant urgency to heal, its just so hard to dive into a new way of being with no real time support. I have just ordered The Body Keeps the Score and the workbook. I'm hoping I will be able to use it to find some healing therapy near me, in Santa Cruz County, California.
This is so familiar sounding to me. I found his book very helpful, if only for the fact that finally there is a description of my feelings! I wish you all the best.
Thinking of you right now 🖤 I know how hard and overwhelming all this feels
May I suggest that you look up Internal Family Systems therapy and look for a practitioner that is experienced in trauma recovery. Best of luck to you 🤞
@@adove5843 I will give Internal Family Systems therapy a look! Thank you for the suggestion, I've never heard of it before.
@@ashleyreyes9078 Thank you, girl : )
The sound is not perfect. For a non native English speaker like myself is difficult to understand well and focus. It is challenging. But I am very interested in the subject and I like it because the speaker is a professional.
Thank you for the facts of treatment. Dealing w the bodily based problems of the trauma was insightful. I’ve done emdr is was gruesome at times did help somewhat I think because it helped me face the whole trauma. Now I will have some trauma treatments to talk with my therapist. I just started reading the book. It is a very good read but I have to reread many parts to really start to understand what is the core issues me as a cptsd faces. Great program thank you so much
Thank you David for sharing your story! I can't even imagine what it must be like for you. Good on you for having the strength and courage to face your trauma. So glad you were able to get something out of this episode!
This is pure wisdom! Such a bliss to find this 🙏🦋
A very helpful discussion with Bessel Van Der Kolk. I wish I lived in the USA so that I can access the treatment. I still struggle every day with what I went through as a child & young adult. I have had counselling but it didn't help. I am a 63 year old woman, I suffer physical pain with my back and other things. Have fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue. I just want to be able to enjoy life, & especially my family. I hope to do yoga but because of my Christian faith I will feel guilty for doing this. It makes me sad & frustrated that I still have this problem of trauma affecting my life and health.
I am older than you, so I get it...the trauma lives inside the body.
Exceptional, thank you.
Loved this! Listened to much of it twice. Thank You!
Dr Van Der Kolk touched on something for me - the threat of trauma is as bad as the reality of it happening in my experience. Once you know it is possible, it can happen, you spend all your time looking for clues, red flags, signs it's about to happen. It may never happen again but what difference does it make when you've lived your life in fear of it happening?
Thank you! This is so helpful!
Balance through Will of Compassion, to oneself then others 🙏🏾🔥💚
Excellent interview...
Nice video man. Very informative.
Thank you for the positive feedback!
What I would give to be this mans lab rat 🐀
God Bless him for being so compassionate and honest when we live in a world where prescription medication is given out like candy without any hope of recovery in sight,
Thanks for this interview :)
At about 29:00 about reliving the past, one way I've learned to work through an experience of a woman screaming out of horrific pain, which would get triggered every time I went near a manhole imagining a terrible outcome, was to relook at the event from the perspectives of those who I believe contributed to the eventuality of the memory, as in imagining her history, her possible lack of attention, impatience, and how she was brought up and was loved, and who I was staying with, how we became friends, his forgetfulness, lack of focus, etc., how he grew up and was loved, leading up to that moment, in order to realise that I was not fully responsible for the outcome. Had their values and circumstances been different I may have not experienced this memory.
Blame and shame tend to contribute to what determines as traumatic, in my opinion, and perhaps embodying this blame and shame to absorb new identities of blameful and shameful is what makes the carrying of the trauma traumatic, as it entangles and/or covers the pure, original identity of the self, which then distorts and blocks out the "original self" from being seen and experienced, thanks to the "impurities" brought on by shame and blame...
Julian... thx for this pointer... shame...blame... I sure have felt myself immersed I this for a long time and have just now realized how much homework I have ahead... Would love any more suggestion from your journey with this. Peace.
Suggest Book Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown and the Tara Brach website or on UA-cam. Both so helpful to me. ❤️
thankyou both. Just understanding the Trauma based treatments.. It addresses so much in many peoples life experiences.. Incorporating multiole approaches and reconnecting the mind body chemistry electrical frags. Look forward to obtaining Book🙏thankyou again.
Would love to hear your key takeaways once you get yourself a copy of the book. Such a fascinating and powerful read!