▶FINAL CALL: Join my investing program at a discount- AND I will give you a $100 moomoo cash reward calebhammer.com/investing/. Join today before the price goes up next week: calebhammer.com/investing/ ▶For FREE appetizers for life with HelloFresh, use code HAMMERAPPS at bit.ly/4cjwvBK! One appetizer item per box while subscription is active. ▶The title is a bit mean, so she deserves to shock everyone in the office with a shock collar in today's post-show: ua-cam.com/channels/Le_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA.htmljoin
I don't know if you should advertise for HelloFresh given how expensive it is compared to regular grocery shopping and meal prepping. Not to mention the massive environmental impact of all of that unnecessary packaging.
Caleb, PLEASE offer this lady a coach for working on her resume, cover letter and interview skills. She's making well under her market value, and to move up that far (almost doubling her hourly rate), her application will have to be ON POINT.
If you search ‘John Oliver Homeschooling’ there is an episode that summarises some of the issues and how little controls some states have on what or if children are taught
I appreciate these older guests. While most of us (your audience) are closer to your age, I think these episodes are great as a warning of what can happen if we don't have our finances together.
And some of us out here are her age and have been waiting to see our peers! Definitely appreciate her showing up and sharing and hearing Caleb’s advice for those of us who are closer to retirement age.
Her situation is different. After the death of a spouse your financial situation changes significantly. Likely her income was cut in half. Widows lose big time.
Caleb you did so great with this lady. You brought all the hard questions/ concerns, yet you Didn't loose your cool. You were empathetic without letting her off the hook. Amazing job! Hopefully it was enough for her to turn it around for their family.
@@philkennelly517I don't think it's for entertainment but really just that he has a tiny bit of a temper but he's been getting better and he does appologize when he realizes that he gets too heated.
Her point was her hubby died of a cancer that he might have beat if he got his normal checks. Theres no regular screening for all lungs. Sounds like she does go to the doctor when she needs to as she’s recently gotten a biopsy.
I was so impressed with my mom.. after my Dad died of cancer when I was 11, she abruptly and instantly quit smoking one day... didn't use a patch or gum or anything. Just wanted to be there for her kids
Glad to hear she only has a year to get out of this. She seems nice. But yeah hopefully she quits the smoking or it'll likely be pointless. More medical bills and death is what a pack a day will do, scary.
@@HoboToto do u get gas for free over there in america? cause in europe that aint cheap. There might be a chance that a bit higher earnings /h do not offset the gas by much. More money, more gas more frustration more binge to cope with frustration.... I m not sure her moving would be as valuable as people think. EDIT: Math is math, but people are not robots....yet.
CALEB CALEB I FINISHED PAYING OFF MY CREDIT CARD TODAY!!!!!!! ALL THAT'S LEFT IS MY 5.5K OF STUDENT LOANS AT 4.99% !!! I got the 3.5k on the card paid off before the 1 year 0% interest expired and after im out of debt and have a fully funded emergency fund, I'll try using the card again because I think with the discipline ive learned from Financial Audit and the ramsey show i can be a credit card person. But not yet.
@@isaiahtrapped that's only Dave Ramsey, and not ever using credit cards responsibly only works for middle aged people who already bought a house decades ago or very wealthy people. If you are in your 20s or 30s with a goal of home ownership, responsibly using credit cards and paying them off in full without accruing interest is better.
@@isaiahtrapped people being bad with credit cards doesn't change the fact that unless you can come up with the full cost of a house in cash, banks will not give you a mortgage without at least one longstanding revolving account with a great payment history. People also statistically don't save enough for retirement either. Reality is reality and whether or not you fall into those statistics is up you and your choices. You can choose to only use your credit card for a purchase you can and will pay off right away to build your credit, or you can choose to max it out and pay interest, or you can pay cash for everything and be turned down for a mortgage anyway. It doesn't change what banks will look for.
If there was a SINGLE financially responsibility that she took, it would be to have a whole life insurance policy. Didn't watch yet but imagine she might not have that judging by the patterns guests usually show.
@@KartGamingYeah. Even the £100,000 she got from her husband should have been a life-changing amount. I'll certainly not be leaving millions of pounds for anyone to inherit. I'm not in a hole but I'll be putting everything into my own retirement. I'm not expecting to have anything left over. Even my house is around the 100k mark.
The crazy thing about being willing to never retire. What happens if you lose your job and no one is willing to hire a 70 year old? People absolutely discriminate based on age. There is no job security any more. You are not guaranteed to be able to work as long as you want to.
And the issue of age related illness affecting strength and abilities. In some people they can hit much earlier than others, what if you are one of those? Without planning to retire early I do plan to have options should something happen and I need to on health grounds because I have some concerns.
Been there. My husband took a transfer many states away. I was 60, hoped to work till 70 as I like to work! I was a really good middle manager - had a hell of a time finding a decent job and nothing paid like I was used to. I stopped working at 62, took early SS and became a really good volunteer. Don’t count on working “forever”!
I know a guy that works in the same manufacturing plant as me, got hired in at 67 years old and he’s 70 now. There are places if they’re desperate enough especially
She's a 46 year old, 2 pack a day smoker with early stage emphysema who won't commute and easily looks 10 years past her real age. She's lucky to have a job, given all that given. Without a serious mind shift, her next job could be gravel-voiced chain-smoking secretary for a cheap private investigator.
I say NO to my 15 year old on a regular basis. No to eating out, no to the newest Nintendo switch game etc. I always tell him that we live within a modest budget. I break down my budget to a daily amount. It's tight. My son knows l love him because l tell him, because l look after him. It is my responsibility to teach him how to budget, and how to sometimes do without a 'want'. I'm a single full time parent. I've experienced bereavement but l don't use that as an excuse to pander to my son.
Good age for him to get a little part-time job to earn some money up and earn some extras. You tend to appreciate things more anyway when you've suffered to buy them yourself. Cheap escooter, bike, or walking for transport sends it home even more. Quite sure you know that, but so many of these kids out there are allowed to put their feet up and have no drive for anything. Boggles my mind.
Some people may not agree with this, but if your kid likes games get him a modded Switch. I remember as a kid when my dad got me a hacked Wii so I could pirate games and thatwas the best gift ever - and never had to ask dad for money to buy games again lol
I work at a tech college and caught a student who had a “home school transcript” that was not real. It was a word doc from their mom and when checking with the state education system, the parent never submitted proper paperwork and now they don’t get to be in college. There is no check and balance.
Cases like this make me really sad for the kids and angry at the parents. I was homeschooled. My mom met with a supervising teacher (someone with real experience in the school system) several times a year. I also took all the state placement tests that everyone else had to take. I got a diploma like everyone else that’s recognized by universities. There is an organization that offers legal advice for homeschoolers. There are resources. All this to say, there are ways to do it well and ways to handicap your kids. There are also pros and cons to every school system. It really does make me sad to see kids fail to thrive in any setting.
Had a similar experience at the university I worked for. I was also homeschooled for high school (online high school) and had friends who were homeschooled in the “we can make our own curriculum” way. It’s bullshit and the kids in these situations end up 30 years old with no education background unable to do basic things in life. But being able to type “properly” is top priority 🤦♀️
In Texas, as far as I know - because I was homeschooled in the 90’s - there is no requirement for there to be anything else. There is no oversight. When I was considering going to College years ago now… (I’m 45) the community colleges were ok with it. 🤷🏻♀️ This is how the parents justify their 🦆’ery.
The fact the she’s a widow is important info that should have been brought up in pre-show. Also, why is Caleb so weird when children are included in someone’s family?
@@churrosquirrel Absolutely. Children spend about ~1260 hours a year at school and ~7500 hours out of school. What they do and learn outside of the classroom is dictated by the parent(s). If they're not learning life skills that prepare them for adulthood, I would blame poor parenting well before I point the finger at teachers and the school.
Private, home school, or public the biggest factor in student success in my opinion is parental engagement. If you don't live in a dangerous area where gangs are a problem, public school isn't horrible. Get a tutor, transfer your kid to a more compatible teacher in the school if you don't think the one they were assigned is a good fit, enroll them in Summer learning programs. Just sending a kid to school and acting like they're not your problem once they're in school will hold your child back.
Many people have a real problem with debt. Many people have been shat out by a public school. She even said she went to public school. You failed critical thinking.
As someone who does something similar (buying season tickets to an NFL team), the profit can really be amazing. Then in other years it’s a detriment. Key is just being able to gamble the amount comfortably
@CalebHammer I just wanted to say thank you so much. Started watching you two years ago with 36k in credit card debt and took your lessons to heart. Today, I made my final payment and now I am CC debt free. Going to celebrate by quiting my second job and spend more time with my furr babies at our park.
Mother to mother- if your children's father died from cancer and you are facing a cancer scare, the very best thing you could do is to open up their social circle by putting them in school so they have a wide net of people seeing them, and checking in on them, on a daily basis. Homeschooling aside, even education aside- they need to be in school for the social stability. I have 5 kids with mental illnesses- and when I went through a sickness, I had a teacher volunteer to come stay at my house and care for my kids (dropping the absentee ex now). They sat with my kids at lunch. They took them out for ice cream. Teachers are incredible humans and they are needed for your children right now for the support aspect. Again, your sister may be an amazing teacher- that is not what this is about. This also isn't about anyone else's decision to homeschool.
Yeah I am very pro homeschooling but this woman and her kids really don’t seem like the ideal candidates for it. She just doesn’t have the time! And like you said her kiddos need more people to pour into them right now not less.
To be fair, the school system is F****D in Texas. They definitely want to keep the population dumb. However, I fully agree that the crumbs the school district are serving are better than anything this lady is coming up with.
Girl, you need to QUIT SMOKING! My boyfriend was a heavy smoker and passed away from lung cancer at 51. You can't do something like that to your kids. I don't know if Caleb calculates this later in the episode (I'm 24 mins in), but the average cost of a pack of cigarettes in Texas is $7.62 and you smoke two packs a day. If you quit, you're saving $5,562.60 per year. That half the balance on one of the credit cards. If you start out by cutting down to one pack a day, you'll save #2,781.30. Take it from someone older than you, you don't want to get sick. It's hard to quit, but if you do it you're going to improve your health and cut down your costs at the same time.
Love that you crunched the numbers around this! Just the cigarette costs alone are a financial drain, but when you add in the cost of medical care (even outside of the big potential costs like care for cancer, emphysema, COPD, etc - just higher risks of sinus infection, susceptibility to the flu, etc), it becomes even more costly of a choice
My old boss was a smoker, died of lung cancer at 43. Left a 2 year old son at home. Complained of pain one day, went to the doctor, diagnosed stage 4. Never came back from medical leave and was dead 6 months later. Smoking is crazy
Kids “home schooled” (oldest can’t even type), shut-in and codependent… She is lying to herself and ABSOLUTELY expects them to live with and carry her financially as she ages. She’s on the show because she ran out of credit.
Guest: “I’ll live off of social security” Caleb: That’s not a ton Guest: yeah but that’s what my mom lives off of Caleb: yeah and she lives with you 💀🤣
My mom quit her job at 59 with almost no retirement. Burned through her 401k to get to social security. I’m her fall back for emergency’s and it’s ruined the relationship. This lady reminds me of her
It does seem clear that in spite of her saying otherwise she intends for her kids to support her the way she is supporting her own mother. But since they are homeschooled in a state that doesn't monitor or regulate homeschooling they will probably only be able to get a minimum wage job that doesn't even pay their own bills.
Im more than willing to take care of my mother because she was fantastic and my cheerleader growing up. I make great money now and would actually prefer she let me build her an apartment with her own door at my house. She won't, but I'd do it in an instant.
FYI some of us do care about the smoke breaks but just don't say anything. I hated when my coworkers left all the time to smoke because we had work to do. the ongoing joke was... I guess I should start smoking to get a break.
As someone who was homeschooled and grew up in a homeschooler community, the “checks and balances” are laughable and very lacking in many states. I taught myself highschool, took tests by myself, and checked my answers with the answer book. No one else ever saw my work. Some homeschoolers do a great job, but many of us were just left on our own because our parents didn’t really care what we learned.
Came here to say the same thing. I knew 4th graders that literally couldn't read. I don't think any of my friends did math past 9th grade. Many states require parents to submit progress reports, but NO ONE checks up on the progress so anyone who wanted to could graduate with a 4.0, and through loopholes you graduate with essentially a private school diploma and can then put it on your college application. The system is completely broken
I dropped out the 2nd week of my sophomore year and my step mom #3 was going to home school me which was hilarious because she was always drinking vodka and smoking weed lol so I got a job and a GED.
My son is homeschooled and not for some crazy off the wall religion or any other reason. He’s autistic and the schools in our small town are just not equipped to help a child like him. School was traumatizing for him. He was constantly being reprimanded for things he couldn’t help and were even listed on his IEP. He had his recesses taken away because he couldn’t keep up and although he was supposed to have an aid the school told us “sorry, we don’t have any available “. He’s been homeschooled for 3 years total and is in 3rd grade and thriving. His reading scores show his reading ability at a 5th grade level at age 9. This after he left school barely able to read. Yet my niece who is in 5th grade public school reads at a 2nd grade level and the school keeps pushing her forward. Homeschooling has made it possible for my son to have a good life without trauma.
@@tabathajacobs1959School was so traumatizing for me as well, I think a parent like you is def the kind equipped for homeschooling, but most aren't sadly cause of crazy hours, that's what happened to me and why I dropped out cause I had no support, I do now, but then it was so hard. I'm happy to hear ur taking steps to prevent ur son from having a future school life like mine
I guess she is not aczually working as an accountant for this little money. I guess she has a very simple job and is not willing to look for more demanding higher paying work.
What is even more insane is she works for a local municipality and countrywide majority of these municipalities have progressive board members….the pro union-demand living wages-tax the rich people and this is what they pay people. I personally know this first hand. I got a job in the local Parks & Rec department maintaining these gorgeous parks in a very wealthy area w/a county board that is 4/5 progressive & minorities for only $17.70 a hour. The local landscapers around here start people off $20-22 hour. Google “Rose Tree Park Media Christmas Lights” to see how beautiful it is. You see this beauty and it makes zero sense that people are doing this work for $17.70 hour.
I work for local government in Florida. This women is 50% of my coworkers. Master degree and making trash money cause they make horrible decisions and are lazy as crap.
@@darion4345 it seems like it is the issue. If you can get your doctorate, you should be able to get a well paying job. A lot of these people don't want the responsibility that a higher paying job comes with. It's easier to stay at the bottom and just get by. Just like it's easier to stay in school for 8 years than it is to start your life and career after college.
@@darion4345post secondary education is easy compared to the competitive work world. Colleges are nothing more than businesses making money off you. If you are still impressed by secondary education you need to update your programming.
at the start so no context yet of this in the episode, but the phrase alone could be a valid view for someone that wanted to be financially secure but not seeking to make as much money as possible.
This lady is a prime example of why both parents need to be financially literate. Shit happens, people die. It's only responsible to ensure both parties know how to handle money if something happens to one of them.
There is so much more here than being financially illiterate. It's bad enough that she chooses to be poor, but that she chooses the same for her children is criminal.
Yeah. Couples that leave finances to their spouse are setting themselves up for failure. One cares about money and keeping head above water. The other just spends.
@@ekevanderzee9538 Meh that was a choice, "miscommunicated" about paying the payroll taxes, sure I believe that. Its such a dumb excuse that she had to describe it as "If my husband were around he would say....." meaning she is blaming it on the dead with an excuse that he probably used to the IRS agent who didnt believe it for a second.
honestly, of all your videos, this is the one people really need to watch. it is really about the importance of life insurance, emergency funds and retirement funding.
I can kinda explain it to you, based off anecdotal experience I’ve seen. These types of people are literally scared of the “outside world”. They will make up some BS reason for not wanting to drive 30 minutes for work - “I don’t wanna waste money on gas” when in reality the reason is more fear based. They like living in their own little worlds. In their little hometowns. With their little mom and pop stores. With their co-dependent family slugs down the street. They mistrust outsiders outside their little town.
Lady is making decent money, especially for a small town. She's just making horrible spending decisions. $2838 in social security plus $2k in payroll. She had 5k in income and spent over 6k.
Seems like she suffers from really low self esteem. Everything is about her kids, never considers herself once, literally afraid her kids won’t love her anymore. Her self worth is really dragging down the rest of her life
Anyone else feel really bad for the kids and not her?? I don’t feel sympathy for victim mentality and all the excuses. She wants the best for her kids, but doesn’t want to actually show them a good example. She’s a heavy smoker, in debt, doesn’t want to use her masters degree to improve their situation, gives her kids whatever out of guilt, and thinks homeschool will set them up for success. Caleb can’t fix delusion. Those young kids will definitely be her retirement plan if she keeps this up.
She needs therapy! Whatever happened to her could have traumatized her and this is why she's behaving this way! Maybe her family when she was little never gave her anything especially attention and love. We don't know the backstory so we can't really say a whole lot about that! You don't know someone's past unless if they tell you! Especially when people in my generation grew up with the people that didn't have much to give us. So in a way she is doing what she never had! I was kind of the same way with my own kids but not to this extreme. I was on Social Security but I didn't overspend my money like this. Thousands of dollars in debt over junk. It's sad!
She seems like a vulnerable covert narcissist. IMO they are the worst kind. At least an overt narc can be happy about robbing you. A vulnerable narc is miserable without robbing you, miserable while robbing you, then cries only bc of how bad it makes them look to seem like a “failure”. Meanwhile they did everything selfishly on purpose, and don’t actually care about how it affects other people…they just don’t want you to know that
my takeaway (and I don't know her so I hesitate to judge her) is that this woman has become very stubborn in response to hardships throughout her life. I think it's great that she surrounds herself with supportive family members (who also happen to be independent women) and I even find her general disposition charming. That being said I think that the corner of the world she created for herself in response to trauma has made her very set in her ways. She finds comfort in being supported by her family, she finds comfort in spending on credit, she finds comfort in smoking. The things she finds comforting are ultimately perpetuating bad decisions. Those bad decisions are catching up to her and if she can't break out of her comfort zone then she will languish in small unfulfilling comforts her entire life.
Okay, this episode is hitting very close to home. My mom and dad had me when they were 44 and 46. My dad got cancer when I was 2 and died when I was 9. One of the big reasons why my childhood was not full of more heartache was because my mother was so good with the family budget and money. My heart goes out to this guest. I know she is hurting. However the way she is throwing everything away is causing so much additional harm to her children.
My favorite thing is when people set crazy high goals ($1M/kid inheritance) and then when they discover getting there is hard, they completely give up. Rather than leaving the kids with anything at all, she decided because she couldn't do a million dollars each she'd rather run herself into the ground spending money she doesn't have.....The all or nothing mentality really f'd her over.
Leaving money to kids is a ridiculous goal without generational wealthy. Focus on having the money to pay your bills, pay your own way in retirement and cover final expenses. The best gift you can give your kids is to not be dependent upon them due to your own poor choices.
The worst part is she has all these lofty goals but she has so many excuses for not quitting smoking. Im not being judgmental here since I smoked for a decade and quitting was absolutely the hardest thing to do , but 13 years now im just glad I stopped. It’s expensive, it’s bad for my breath, health and well being and it makes you age faster. That’s a fact because all smokers i know look older, case in point…her
I have all the sympathy in the world for her. BUT… her husband died of cancer, she urged everyone to get checked, and she smokes two packs a day? She should be trying to be there for her kids longer. Edit: there is also a 9% chance she has breast cancer
My dad died of lung cancer I quit smokin/vaping cold turkey the day he was diagnosed. My cousins dad died of lung cancer and she decided to start smoking.
Nicotine is the hardest drug to quit. Most rehab facilities still let you smoke/vape. I think vaping is less deadly because there’s no tar, but inhaling propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin, maybe even heavy metals all day is probably not good. I’m saying this as someone who still vapes.
@@Sniperboy5551i quit cold turkey the day i found out i was pregnant. Not saying its easy, but when it comes to your kids, i cant think of a better motivation.
@user-oh9wd9kl9n Props to you for quitting. If I ever have a kid, I’d do the same. I know getting someone pregnant would help me get my sh*t together, I think I’d be a good dad.
"Kids today aren't taught like I was! I believe kids should be taught how to solve problems, not how to take a test!" Big words from someone not doing very simple math or very simple problem solving.
As a child that was homeschooled, you best be sure that you’re setting your kids up to succeed in the system that they’ll emerge into as adults, even if you disagree with it. Wasted 8k on student loans and got suspended twice because I was not prepared for structured systems. Worked out in the end and have a decent job from taking a trade, but my homeschooling absolutely fucked me.
@@remmary100 mostly a complete lack of structure. While I had curriculum, and I truly believe my parents believe that what they did was for the best, the complete lack of deadlines other than “the end of the year” really put me out of my element when I went to college. I also was allowed to skip “homework” or other assignments as long as I could pass the test, which led to me devaluing anything other than tests in college even when they were part of my grade. We also as a family kind of meta gamed the system, because while my state did have specific curriculum requirements and subjects, if I found myself struggling with one, I could just switch halfway through the year to another that would still fulfill the requirement. This led to a comfort in me just not doing things that were hard, and also gave me a false sense of security, because on paper, I was an A+ student with very little effort.
@@remmary100 did you not actually read the post you responded to? OP said that they were not prepared for life beyond homeschooling and it almost tanked their life. Jesus Christ.
I’m so glad my mom ran our homeschooling like a private school, at least that’s what my friend said. She had a rigid schedule starting from breakfast time and chore time etc. though we did still have summer school often because we didn’t finish the school work in the normal timeframe.
Same. It took me several years of early adulthood to understand basic ideas like punctuality in the workplace and how to be accountable to a structured system.
This is the first guest where my heart is bleeding for her. She had an awful loss. Before her husband passed, I'm sure she planned to use her masters and have a great career. She needs to talk to a therapist and get herself happy again. I feel like she is mourning the life she thought she would have. Wishing you love and light.
Yeah I feel like she can't imagine what life and retirement will be without her husband m, she didn't plan for that and I can't imagine what it feels like when you have to replan your whole life like that. I don't think she's even doing this show for herself, I think shes doing it because she knows she's messing up her kids future if she doesn't get this straightened out
Calling herself codependent and sounding happy about it makes me think she would not be open to therapy. I hope I'm wrong. It really sounds like she needs it after all that happened.
man the texas homeschooling system sounds horrible😭 just reading, writing, and citizenship? that's it? no math, science, history? no testing to make sure they're even learning? no curriculum reports? being literate is really the bare minimum requirement to graduate with a ged and expect to find a job in this day and age?
I homeschooled my kid after we went back from Covid and I realized the school near us sucked. They literally don’t check anything. All you do is email to school and say I’m homeschooling my child and that is it there’s no overwatch there’s no curriculum mandated nothing it’s up to the parent. That’s crazy
there’s literally no one that checks that your kids are learning anything so they can say there’s requirements but there’s no one asking or checking. I homeschooled for two years.
"Texas has the best rules for homeschool...." No testing, no checks... Her sister 'teaches' them and there are tons of xbox charges. I think the kids are not doing much learning. Poor kids.
Homeschooling is brilliant. But just like public school, it's heavily dependent on parents. This is a woman who should not be teaching her children. Homeschooling will not work because of her. Not because homeschooling is bad.
I just want to remind every man that Prostate Cancer has a 80% recovery rate if caught fairly early- however, 100% of men will inevitably get it if they live long enough. The treatment is also pretty easy going. If you have ANY of the signs go and see a pcp/urologist. To help prevent prostate cancer, remember you need to “use it or you’ll lose it”.
You don't need to leave your kids a million dollars each. Getting out of debt and being a stable parent while contributing anything you can to give each of them something when you are gone will be more powerful than giving up because of an unrealistic goal at this point.
She should try for something more like "leave each kid a down payment" so there feels like a purpose to the number and figure out what the average down-payment for a house is and maybe up that to match for inflation for 10-20 years out. Then it has purpose and sounds like a valid target but is actually on the horizon rather than riding on a miracle.
@@maureenviolaI think by setting an unrealistic goal, they give themself an excuse to fail. If her goal was “get out of debt” she’d feel bad about spending. But if she’s a million dollars away from a million, then what the harm of putting another $200 on her credit card?
This was my mom after my dad died, except no life insurance. She racked up 75,000 of credit card debt and 120,000 of remortgage debt on a 13,000 a year job. She had other issues, alcohol and smoking. We lived in abject poverty. When people questioned why she bought us things it was because she felt so bad for how much we suffered. She was 44 when my dad died, we were 8 and 6. She died in poverty when I was 29. I was paying her monthly mortgage, sending her money for food, and constantly worried about her everyday. When she died, as the oldest I took on the mortgage (house was unsellable, still is after 25,000 in work I have done to it). The credit cards thankfully got wiped with her death. I am now paying a mortgage on a house I can’t sell, that is barely standing up. I am making progress but please god please, if you’re a parent listening to this or reading this, don’t do this to your children. I don’t wish this stress on anyone.
When I was 46 I thought I could work forever; healthy, strong and very busy juggling homeschooling, nursing and looking after my elderly father who moved in with us. I never thought about the future because I was too busy juggling the present. The children grew up, left home and got married and my father died 9 years ago this month. After a period of time I was able to start reflecting and began thinking about our future. It has been a long, hard journey but in one year we will finally be totally debt free, mortgage free ---- after 38 years with a mortgage!!! 8 years ago, I changed jobs, packed my pension to make up for the lean years of contributions, moved to a cheaper house to cut our debt in half and doubled our mortgage payments, all while putting my kids through university, paying for weddings and renovating the house. It's a good job I finally woke up because I am now physically disabled and cannot work even though I would like to. We have a chance now at a reasonable retirement as long as inflation doesn't decimate our savings.
Me and my partner are in our thirties and our goal is to retire in our fifties, we don't want riches but enough to live a humble, comfy life and have enough for our only daughter to put us in a home together when we're too old (we can go together without her feeling guilty, because we'll have each other, we'll just goddip about the other residents and their kids😂)
As a physician, PSA is not a particularly reliable screening modality for prostate cancer and had led to many people receiving unnecessary surgeries. It is no longer recommended for universal PSA screening in all men. There may be specific circumstances where it is appropriate to obtain a PSA but you would need to speak to your doctor to determine if it is right for you.
It was obvious that her suggestion should be taken with a grain of salt when she couldn't remember what PSA level stood for. It's really important, but also, "Idk it's something..."
Do they just wait until the cancer becomes invasive now like with cervical cancer? I had grade CIN 3. Couldn’t beat high risk hpv for years and they refused to take it out until the cancer got invasive. Thankfully a product from Italy helped me clear the dysplasia when doctors here left it to grow for 8 years.
Take the job. Even if its almost an hour away. Even if you have to move. It's worth it. I got $2/hr raise a few months ago. Im doing a tons of overtime. It has literally changed my life. Over $100/week going to debt when i was barely able to follow my current budget. It makes me feel so free. Do what ya gotta do people. I have 5 roommates and work 6 days a week. I can probably fit some doordashing in on the weekends too after i fix up my car situation.
My aunt quit smoking at around 55. She died of lung cancer at 75. This lady says she's 46. She already looks like she's 55-60 years old because of her unhealthy behaviors. At some point she needs to look herself in the mirror and stop making excuses for herself.
@@nonono2793 No way. Smoking ages people ridiculously efficiently. Ever watch old TV programs from the 1960s and earlier? Look up the actors sometime - you'll see their age at the time and be stunned at how much older _everyone_ looked, largely due to the fact that _everyone_ smoked back then.
This woman reminds me so much of my late mom.. died at 55 from lung cancer, knowing she was killing herself with the cigarettes financially and ultimately her health. This woman needs to realize that her cigarettes and lackof saying no to her kids will destroy her and them. I live with so much anger because of the way my mom treated me and her own life. I pray this woman does not do that to herself and her children.
My mom passed away last year at 64 after having a pair of back to back heart attacks after surgery. She didnt stop smoking when she ended up in the hospital in 2016. Had no lifestyle changes to become more healthy. Its hard to watch people that you care about fall apart but what can you really do? We all make our own choices.
My mom was the same with alcohol, ambien, and credit cards. We tried to help her for 20 years, and she refused it until she was underwater on her home, had 10 years of un-filed taxes, and had garnished wages. All her credit cards were maxed
@@FlyingJ420 Sometimes you have to throw your hands up, let whatever happens happen to them. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She is voluntarily destroying herself and her kids
My mum got out of hospital, and stubbornly stomped into her bedroom and lit up a cigarette because "how dare people/doctors tell her what to do". She loved cigarettes/alcohol more than anything else in the world. That was her reason to live. She died twice (pulled through the first time the doctors removed her life support). Lucky she had to go into care and they forced her to stop smoking and put her on oxygen and she became actually lovely for two years before she actually passed. She was 76. I feel like crap all the time and I don't smoke and rarely drink. Can only imagine how she felt for decades with her lifestyle.
My mom was also financially irresponsible her whole life. She destroyed everything that came her way... antique furniture, cars, houses, an inheritance, etc. and hoarded her house with garbage. Lost her house in the end and ended up with tuberculosis and had to come live with me. I became power of attorney for her and managed to save a good amount of money for her so that now she has enough money to live on... With me. And I've always had her pay me rent. And not allow her to hoard or overspend $.
I really enjoyed this guest compared to a lot of the others. Open, honest, self aware and willing to listen. Appreciate older guests closer to my age (38) than the young ones who have barely started out in life. I wish her well.
Kelcey reminds me of my bff, Netty who sadly passed away from cancer in 2018 (58 yrs old). Back in the day, she'd tell me that smokers get extra breaks, and had a convenient excuse for disappearing while on the job. She was resistant to any advice about getting ahead in life (taking classes, finding a better job etc). This episode made me feel really, really sad.
I don't think k I could hang with someone like that, let alone be a BFF. And those f'ing smokers fuck over every non-smoker who is actually doing their work.
Condolences on the loss of your husband. My husband died at age 50. His 2-pack a day lifeline smoking habit gave him lung cancer. Stage 4 upon diagnosis. He lasted 8 months which was too long. He suffered. You can quit. Of course it’s not easy. People quit every day. You can do it. I think this is the most important to-do on your list. Your children will miss you if you die young.
Most everyone here is operating under the misguided assumption that the teacher's knowledge and IQ determine the student's education. The curriculum is what's key and she uses a very expensive one that's used in many private schools. Think back to some of your teachers. Not all geniuses, were they? True homeschooling takes intent and you also must make sure the kids have social interaction. But in my experience, the people with the strongest opinions on homeschooling have the least experience with it.
@@SippsShanandTvery good point the strongest opinions have no clue, but that’s most topics. Homeschooling should be the best option because parents should have the most interest in their kids being successful. But unfortunately people don’t have the finances to make it work. I’d love to have my wife, who is a teacher, stay home and teach our kids but the past 17 years together making dumb choices have made it where we can’t. Maybe soon I hope
I feel for this lady. Loss of a loved one can destroy you're want to live let alone thrive in life. When you have kids your forced to put on a brave face when you are dying inside so being content is the best you can do. But at the same time, you love your kids more than anything and only want the best for them and will do anything to make them happy. She is fighting a battle within herself. Smoking is an addiction, and it helps with dealing. It sucks but it is what it is. Hopefully, she can find a way out of this because her kids do need her, even as they grow up and move out.
There’s no way these people should be homeschooling while not being able to be basic adults after 5 decades. Wild. Way to set your kids up to be socially and mentally screwed. How selfish
Statistically homeschooled kids do better in university, are more successful, and have more varied and healthy social relationships. There’s likely a much bigger disparity between homeschooled kids in different situations than there is between different kids in public schools. So it’s possible you’re right. There are definitely homeschooling horror stories (although my guess is that most of those are related to particular religious reasons for homeschooling). But I’m not sure we can make that assumption here, when homeschooled kids perform more on par with private schooled kids overall. It’s not like public schools teach finances all that well either - as evidenced by what we’re seeing here.
Most of the people in my life have been homeschooled. Most of them are under 30, married, own their own homes, have no debt, and have good jobs. My husband and I are included in that. A few of my friends graduated high school with their associate degree. Homeschooling is entirely dependent on the students and the parents being willing to do the work, just like public school. (Yes, public school requires parents to be active in their kids' lives as well. Ask any teacher.) The difference is homeschooling can provide an education much more tailored to the student's interests, thus setting them up for a better future career. Are there people who abuse the system and don't teach their kids? For sure. But I think there are way more kids in public school who aren't able to read at the level they should than there are homeschoolers not being taught.
@---yx7ti My homeschooled husband's parents were divorced, abusive, and neglectful, but he rose above it, finished his schooling on his own, moved out at 17, got married at 19, and bought our home at 24. We can't always help what situations we're put into, but we can control how we respond to them. My husband didn't have a great homeschooling experience, but he took control of it at the end and is still better off than most people his age.
I would love if Caleb started bringing up the fact that carrying a balance means you lose the 30 day grace period for interest on new purchases, and interest on those purchases starts accumulating daily. I had no idea!!
Home schooling needs so much more structure lol. Texas not having any way to verify parents are doing their jobs in teaching them is the most Texas thing I’ve ever read.
just wish they aired around cocktail hour EST so I could enjoy a few adult beverages with the new episode without feeling guilty. Of course you don't want to get ahold of bad ice cube...
I get what she’s saying. She’s saying she doesn’t really want for a bigger house or a nicer car, so making more money isn’t a priority in and of itself, although of course she’d need to make more money to service her debt and to pay cash for the things she’s buying with debt.
My heart hurts for those children. They've been through so much and I wish there was some way to help them. Between losing their dad, moving to a new area, and being homeschooled, they really need a good mentor and someone to show them alternative ways of living. I think they're being sheltered and moving into the real world as an adult is going to be a shock.
She's setting those kids up for failure. You know when you drive through a small town and you see people that have lived there their entire lives and you can just tell they're never going to leave. Those are her kids. Not saying you can't be happy and successful in a small town but you know the archetype of person I'm referring to. They aren't going to know any better and they aren't going to think that there's anything else out there for them.
I think there's so many women, especially with children can relate to this poor woman. I'm a mom and I can't imagine not thinking of my son or his future. I love that Caleb did this interview. It's a reality check for some of us. She sounds like she just wants to cry and I want to cry with her.
@@carlfaitware8099 I wish we could get TAQUITOS TAQUITOS TAQUITOS as the chime when u buy something with a credit card instead of the cute little ding sound at the credit card reader
She is right that Texas is "homeschool friendly". They also have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country and the lowest quality of education. Which is a correlation across the USA. Private schools aren't better, they're sheltered. That can be good or bad. Wishing her the best though, I hope she can do it.
She's not missing anything about homeschooling in Texas. It's a huge problem in a lot of states because people greatly overestimate how good they are at teaching and underestimate how much work goes into making a curriculum. I say this as someone who had some homeschooling and saw how much work went into it to make sure it was in compliance with my state's standards. Homeschooling can be great and give kids a lot of extra focus and chances to get ahead, but nine times out of ten it's a terrible idea and hurts the kids more than it helps.
At least in my case, public school was more of a social event than learning. It didn’t take me much effort to learn things, so I just kinda screwed around most of the time. I would’ve hated homeschooling.
@@Sniperboy5551actually that’s mostly the point of early education hence why they pass kids on more frequently early on in primary school educations. A large part of your mental development is your social development and so that social aspect of elementary even into middle school is crucial for the later educational growth of the majority of children.
My local schools have 0 kids reading or doing math on grade level. 0 kids. I know a lot of himeschoolers. No one is failing that badly. Granted, I'm in a state with way more regulation than Texas, but I've only met a few parent failures where as I know a lot of failing schools around me.
@@skyjoy.design The socialization critique is a long dead myth about homeschooling. Sure standing in a line may be a challenge for many homeschoolers, but being social or fitting in with groups of people is an individual thing, not a how you were schooled thing. Weird people exist all over and are schooled all sorts of ways.
@@MissMosierable sorry if it came out like I was bad talking homeschooling! It wasn't meant as a critique of homeschooling, rather a critique of the states where they don't check on homeschooling and whether the kids are actually learning things. Homeschooling did great things for me and put me at the top of of the standardized math test when I entered high school, so I know how useful getting specialized attention can be! I just think the states need to pay more attention. Especially because just about every other case of really horrible child abuse in the news has someone who kept their kid out of school so people wouldn't notice. In a system with those high of stakes if it fails, there needs to be more involvement to keep the kids safe.
It’s not that…she placed that value bc she knows it’s unattainable, that way when her kids are older she can easily make an excuse as to why she couldn’t give them financial support
I think one of the most important parts that got missed here is the fact that a government job comes with government health insurance and a pension. That's why she doesn't want to give it up for more pay
@@Sar-ahG I started smoking (one a day at best, idk how people chain smoke) and drinking at 27. Don't do it anymore though. ADHD could have something to do with it in my situation.
From the perspective of someone who smoked one to two packs a day, the only thing that helped me quit was cutting back gradually every day. Instead of three cigarettes for breakfast, I would smoke two and so on slowly until my body got used to it and also slowly kicked the habit of social smoking and succeeded after almost 6 months. I tried a lot of things, but this was the only one that helped me, and now I've been nicotine-free for 6 months. My advice is for everyone who is in that position and trying to stop it to gradually reduce it every day/week because that's the only way the hand habit disappears.
Homeschool mama here in Oklahoma. We don’t have required testing either, but as a parent I want to make sure he’s on grade level so I do test him. There are a lot of parents who abuse the system and it is sad, but I would hope that most parents would take that initiative to make sure their kiddo is educated.
No hate. I'm just saying it's something to think about. Every home schooled person I have ever met has been severely socially challenged. Which puts them at a disadvantage at every turn in life.
I also homeschool. I test them, but we don't do the standardized testing the school does (they're in 1st and 2nd grade. They'll learn to take the SATs, etc.) We follow standards though and they are both atleast a grade level ahead in every subject. Unfortunately, people who don't take the responsibility of homeschooling seriously make it seem like an irresponsible choice for the rest of us.
@@pjm3005you're totally entitled to your opinion. I can absolutely respect that. I had two kids go through public school and this is what's best for our family at this time. Luckily, you'll be able to make whatever decision is best for your family as well.
Her view with home schooling and what should be taught with children is shocking considering her being at this financial state at her age. Practically zero in retirement, huge amounts of credit card debt, and dependent on her elderly mother and sister.
Oh this woman really resonates with me. Grief spending is real. When you have a major loss like that-it’s really important to try to not make any major lifestyle changes for at least the first 6-12 months. You can really rack up some debt grief spending.
I feel so bad for her. She's just so defeated. It even manifests on her physical appeareance. I thought she was at least 55 years old, but she's just 46. I hope she gets through all this.
Smoking is awful for your skin. I think the short grey hair is visually aging her quite a bit it’s very grandma style. So many women dye their hair I think we have lost touch of how early women can start going grey.
Honestly, her kids are old enough to include in this process. If she explains why they have to cut back, and what the goal is, I'm sure they'll rally behind her. Because she does seem like a really sweet and loving woman. I'm sure her kids love her and want her to be happy. And it could even be a fun family adventure. See who can come up with the most creative meals, or a new free activity they could do. Maybe learn to make their own soaps if that's something the daughter is into. They could make a goal graph and update it every month to see the progress. Not only would that prevent her kids from needing to take care of her in the future, but it would help give them a better gift than any sweet treats- a better understanding of money and budgeting
She's also had kids and you appear to be overweight with a cat. Judge not, lest ye be judged. I've met people my age who look older and younger. Variety of factors.
▶FINAL CALL: Join my investing program at a discount- AND I will give you a $100 moomoo cash reward calebhammer.com/investing/. Join today before the price goes up next week: calebhammer.com/investing/
▶For FREE appetizers for life with HelloFresh, use code HAMMERAPPS at bit.ly/4cjwvBK! One appetizer item per box while subscription is active.
▶The title is a bit mean, so she deserves to shock everyone in the office with a shock collar in today's post-show: ua-cam.com/channels/Le_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA.htmljoin
I don't know if you should advertise for HelloFresh given how expensive it is compared to regular grocery shopping and meal prepping. Not to mention the massive environmental impact of all of that unnecessary packaging.
Caleb, PLEASE offer this lady a coach for working on her resume, cover letter and interview skills. She's making well under her market value, and to move up that far (almost doubling her hourly rate), her application will have to be ON POINT.
@@Luumus Packaging is not that bad. They use recyclable cardboard, and their cooling gels are nontoxic water-soluble biodegradeable.
Does the 100$ Moomoo cash still apply if we aren't from the US?
If you search ‘John Oliver Homeschooling’ there is an episode that summarises some of the issues and how little controls some states have on what or if children are taught
I appreciate these older guests.
While most of us (your audience) are closer to your age, I think these episodes are great as a warning of what can happen if we don't have our finances together.
I call them the ghosts of Audit Future
Definitely appreciate this over 20 year Olds with high-school level income.
And some of us out here are her age and have been waiting to see our peers! Definitely appreciate her showing up and sharing and hearing Caleb’s advice for those of us who are closer to retirement age.
Her situation is different. After the death of a spouse your financial situation changes significantly. Likely her income was cut in half. Widows lose big time.
I'm really glad she came on. Seeing the affects of life on your finances and mindset. We ask for more couples and older people.
Caleb you did so great with this lady. You brought all the hard questions/ concerns, yet you Didn't loose your cool. You were empathetic without letting her off the hook. Amazing job! Hopefully it was enough for her to turn it around for their family.
I genuinely think this is one of the better episodes as of late. Wonderful guest but wonderful attention from Caleb as well
I sometimes think Caleb lacks empathy and reacts a little too strongly for the sake of the show/entertainment. This was a great episode
@@philkennelly517I don't think it's for entertainment but really just that he has a tiny bit of a temper but he's been getting better and he does appologize when he realizes that he gets too heated.
@@JustLIkerapunzelI agree, it takes a lot of patience to talk with irresponsible people, even when you want to help them
She will never "turn it around". The skills and common sense just aren't there.
Out of all the different reasons we've seen people come on this show to push their message, this lady pushing cancer awareness is the most high class.
High class?? I don't think so as she continues to smoke. Mystifying to me. She is not a hag, btw.
She pushed for prostrate cancer checks but not lung cancer 😐
@@user-bo1rj2xu2s It is if she uses one of those cigarette holders from the 1950s.
Her point was her hubby died of a cancer that he might have beat if he got his normal checks. Theres no regular screening for all lungs.
Sounds like she does go to the doctor when she needs to as she’s recently gotten a biopsy.
@@user-bo1rj2xu2sAddictions are hell to kick
1-2 packs a day after your hubby died of cancer? Baby, stop.
You don't want your kids to live most their life with no parents.
I was so impressed with my mom.. after my Dad died of cancer when I was 11, she abruptly and instantly quit smoking one day... didn't use a patch or gum or anything. Just wanted to be there for her kids
She already looks 60.
Tbh, she might not care about her life anymore, hence the smoking.
@@harmonyae7033 I think she cares, but this is a way for her to cope
Glad to hear she only has a year to get out of this. She seems nice. But yeah hopefully she quits the smoking or it'll likely be pointless. More medical bills and death is what a pack a day will do, scary.
She wants to leave her kids $3 million, but refuses to drive a half an hour to make more than $18/hour???
But she says she willing to work a second job. Don't that take more time away from home. Yup
I bet she would drive half an hour for a single cigarette if she was out.
@@WendyW7508You can work from home.
@@HoboToto do u get gas for free over there in america? cause in europe that aint cheap. There might be a chance that a bit higher earnings /h do not offset the gas by much. More money, more gas more frustration more binge to cope with frustration.... I m not sure her moving would be as valuable as people think.
EDIT: Math is math, but people are not robots....yet.
@@GeorgeG90 I walk, bike, and take the bus for cheap!
CALEB CALEB I FINISHED PAYING OFF MY CREDIT CARD TODAY!!!!!!! ALL THAT'S LEFT IS MY 5.5K OF STUDENT LOANS AT 4.99% !!! I got the 3.5k on the card paid off before the 1 year 0% interest expired and after im out of debt and have a fully funded emergency fund, I'll try using the card again because I think with the discipline ive learned from Financial Audit and the ramsey show i can be a credit card person. But not yet.
Don't play with fire. If you listen to Caleb and Dave Ramsey it would be best to live debt free without the use of credit cards.
Congrats!
@@isaiahtrapped that's only Dave Ramsey, and not ever using credit cards responsibly only works for middle aged people who already bought a house decades ago or very wealthy people. If you are in your 20s or 30s with a goal of home ownership, responsibly using credit cards and paying them off in full without accruing interest is better.
@@PandoraBear357 The data doesn't support what you've said. People aren't doing that, which is why the debt is in the trillions
@@isaiahtrapped people being bad with credit cards doesn't change the fact that unless you can come up with the full cost of a house in cash, banks will not give you a mortgage without at least one longstanding revolving account with a great payment history. People also statistically don't save enough for retirement either. Reality is reality and whether or not you fall into those statistics is up you and your choices. You can choose to only use your credit card for a purchase you can and will pay off right away to build your credit, or you can choose to max it out and pay interest, or you can pay cash for everything and be turned down for a mortgage anyway. It doesn't change what banks will look for.
“I don’t want to make money “
“I’d like to leave them a million dollars each.”
We are clearly not sure of our goals.
If there was a SINGLE financially responsibility that she took, it would be to have a whole life insurance policy. Didn't watch yet but imagine she might not have that judging by the patterns guests usually show.
@@xCCflierx Can she easily get that with her lifestyle?
nearly spit out my coffee when she said this, $1M each for 3 kids + her own living expenses starting in her late 40s at $19/h and in debt 🤔
@@KartGamingYeah. Even the £100,000 she got from her husband should have been a life-changing amount. I'll certainly not be leaving millions of pounds for anyone to inherit. I'm not in a hole but I'll be putting everything into my own retirement. I'm not expecting to have anything left over. Even my house is around the 100k mark.
@@xCCflierx I don't know if she can afford whole life insurance. But term life insurance might be a possility.
This is a great snapshot into what everyday, garden variety poverty looks like. This is middle america.
This isn't poverty.
@@paulaegraham Yes, it is.
The crazy thing about being willing to never retire. What happens if you lose your job and no one is willing to hire a 70 year old? People absolutely discriminate based on age. There is no job security any more. You are not guaranteed to be able to work as long as you want to.
And the issue of age related illness affecting strength and abilities. In some people they can hit much earlier than others, what if you are one of those? Without planning to retire early I do plan to have options should something happen and I need to on health grounds because I have some concerns.
My wife works with the homeless and most people don't understand that a good chunk of homeless people are the elderly
Been there. My husband took a transfer many states away. I was 60, hoped to work till 70 as I like to work! I was a really good middle manager - had a hell of a time finding a decent job and nothing paid like I was used to. I stopped working at 62, took early SS and became a really good volunteer. Don’t count on working “forever”!
I know a guy that works in the same manufacturing plant as me, got hired in at 67 years old and he’s 70 now. There are places if they’re desperate enough especially
She's a 46 year old, 2 pack a day smoker with early stage emphysema who won't commute and easily looks 10 years past her real age. She's lucky to have a job, given all that given. Without a serious mind shift, her next job could be gravel-voiced chain-smoking secretary for a cheap private investigator.
I say NO to my 15 year old on a regular basis. No to eating out, no to the newest Nintendo switch game etc.
I always tell him that we live within a modest budget. I break down my budget to a daily amount. It's tight.
My son knows l love him because l tell him, because l look after him.
It is my responsibility to teach him how to budget, and how to sometimes do without a 'want'.
I'm a single full time parent. I've experienced bereavement but l don't use that as an excuse to pander to my son.
I fully agree with you. 😊😊😊😊
Good age for him to get a little part-time job to earn some money up and earn some extras. You tend to appreciate things more anyway when you've suffered to buy them yourself. Cheap escooter, bike, or walking for transport sends it home even more. Quite sure you know that, but so many of these kids out there are allowed to put their feet up and have no drive for anything. Boggles my mind.
Some people may not agree with this, but if your kid likes games get him a modded Switch. I remember as a kid when my dad got me a hacked Wii so I could pirate games and thatwas the best gift ever - and never had to ask dad for money to buy games again lol
She's signing herself up for a life not only of debt, but misery and codependency, by giving her kids everything they ask for.
Wow, good for you!
After 25 years smoking non stop. My dad finally quit at 45 and hasn't smoked since. He's 64 and doing great!
This gives me hope- my husband is 46 and trying to finally quit after 18 years
My dad was the same and lived to his 80s!
My father quit in his 50s but still died from lung cancer at age 78. It was too late for him, unfortunately.
I work at a tech college and caught a student who had a “home school transcript” that was not real. It was a word doc from their mom and when checking with the state education system, the parent never submitted proper paperwork and now they don’t get to be in college. There is no check and balance.
Cases like this make me really sad for the kids and angry at the parents. I was homeschooled. My mom met with a supervising teacher (someone with real experience in the school system) several times a year. I also took all the state placement tests that everyone else had to take. I got a diploma like everyone else that’s recognized by universities. There is an organization that offers legal advice for homeschoolers. There are resources.
All this to say, there are ways to do it well and ways to handicap your kids. There are also pros and cons to every school system. It really does make me sad to see kids fail to thrive in any setting.
Yup.
Had a similar experience at the university I worked for. I was also homeschooled for high school (online high school) and had friends who were homeschooled in the “we can make our own curriculum” way. It’s bullshit and the kids in these situations end up 30 years old with no education background unable to do basic things in life. But being able to type “properly” is top priority 🤦♀️
In Texas, as far as I know - because I was homeschooled in the 90’s - there is no requirement for there to be anything else. There is no oversight. When I was considering going to College years ago now… (I’m 45) the community colleges were ok with it. 🤷🏻♀️ This is how the parents justify their 🦆’ery.
😮 wow that’s so inconvenient and unfair to the students.
"What about the dude who helped with the manufacturing of the children" 🤣CALEB
The fact the she’s a widow is important info that should have been brought up in pre-show. Also, why is Caleb so weird when children are included in someone’s family?
Sounds like something Elon Musk would say 😂
I absolutely respect the tenacity in his questioning
At least he didn't call him a DEADbeat dad 😂
Then she proceeds to say he past away and it got so HEAVY 😭
Says she hates public schools because they don’t teach problem solving.
Meanwhile she can’t solve the mind boggling problem of balancing a budget.
@@churrosquirrel Absolutely. Children spend about ~1260 hours a year at school and ~7500 hours out of school. What they do and learn outside of the classroom is dictated by the parent(s). If they're not learning life skills that prepare them for adulthood, I would blame poor parenting well before I point the finger at teachers and the school.
Private, home school, or public the biggest factor in student success in my opinion is parental engagement. If you don't live in a dangerous area where gangs are a problem, public school isn't horrible. Get a tutor, transfer your kid to a more compatible teacher in the school if you don't think the one they were assigned is a good fit, enroll them in Summer learning programs. Just sending a kid to school and acting like they're not your problem once they're in school will hold your child back.
public school is HORRIBLE, shes also delusional
Isn't that just proving her point if she went to public school?
Many people have a real problem with debt. Many people have been shat out by a public school. She even said she went to public school. You failed critical thinking.
Step 1. Buy Timberwolves season tickets.
Step 2. Profit?
😂😂😂😂 this needs to be pinned!
😂😂😂
As someone who does something similar (buying season tickets to an NFL team), the profit can really be amazing. Then in other years it’s a detriment. Key is just being able to gamble the amount comfortably
😂😂😂😂
On a credit card, much less!
Caleb: “You’re not old by any means”
Title: “OLD HAG”
“Senile old lady refuses to grow up”
"I’m Running Out Of Sympathy For This Old Lady"
I was definitely expecting her to be older based on the title and former title.
“OLD LADY”
old BAG
>Doesnt trust public school
>No requirment that her children learn math.
Checks out.
I looked up texas homeschool requirements. She left things out and math is required
This lady seems so genuine and sweet, she just seems so broken. I truly hope nothing but the best for her.
Agreed. I hope she can get therapy, get motivated, and make the changes she needs to make. My heart hurts for her.
@@elliotalderson4568which seem like justified feelings to have.
@CalebHammer I just wanted to say thank you so much. Started watching you two years ago with 36k in credit card debt and took your lessons to heart. Today, I made my final payment and now I am CC debt free. Going to celebrate by quiting my second job and spend more time with my furr babies at our park.
Wow congrats! 🎉
AWESOME!!! Celebratory hugs for you and cuddles for your fuzzy friends!!
Congratulations my fellow fur mama or papa!
Huge W great job 🔥🔥🔥
awesome
Mother to mother- if your children's father died from cancer and you are facing a cancer scare, the very best thing you could do is to open up their social circle by putting them in school so they have a wide net of people seeing them, and checking in on them, on a daily basis.
Homeschooling aside, even education aside- they need to be in school for the social stability. I have 5 kids with mental illnesses- and when I went through a sickness, I had a teacher volunteer to come stay at my house and care for my kids (dropping the absentee ex now). They sat with my kids at lunch. They took them out for ice cream. Teachers are incredible humans and they are needed for your children right now for the support aspect. Again, your sister may be an amazing teacher- that is not what this is about. This also isn't about anyone else's decision to homeschool.
Too bad todays public schools are junk.
False. Public schools do not bring “social stability “.
Yeah I am very pro homeschooling but this woman and her kids really don’t seem like the ideal candidates for it. She just doesn’t have the time! And like you said her kiddos need more people to pour into them right now not less.
Woman who makes $18 hr at 46 while smoking two packs a day doesn't trust the public school system. I've seen enough.
Anyone trusting today's public schools is a fool
Lives in her own world and isn't comfortable moving outside of that.
To be fair, the school system is F****D in Texas. They definitely want to keep the population dumb. However, I fully agree that the crumbs the school district are serving are better than anything this lady is coming up with.
I imagine this is somewhat common in rural Texas
If you trust the public school system then I dare say you’re more delusional than her.
Girl, you need to QUIT SMOKING! My boyfriend was a heavy smoker and passed away from lung cancer at 51. You can't do something like that to your kids. I don't know if Caleb calculates this later in the episode (I'm 24 mins in), but the average cost of a pack of cigarettes in Texas is $7.62 and you smoke two packs a day. If you quit, you're saving $5,562.60 per year. That half the balance on one of the credit cards. If you start out by cutting down to one pack a day, you'll save #2,781.30. Take it from someone older than you, you don't want to get sick. It's hard to quit, but if you do it you're going to improve your health and cut down your costs at the same time.
A pack is like 30 dollars here in Canada
@@danielle8608yall got free healthcare that’s why they are $30. I wish here in america it was like that. A pack here is $12
Love that you crunched the numbers around this! Just the cigarette costs alone are a financial drain, but when you add in the cost of medical care (even outside of the big potential costs like care for cancer, emphysema, COPD, etc - just higher risks of sinus infection, susceptibility to the flu, etc), it becomes even more costly of a choice
My old boss was a smoker, died of lung cancer at 43. Left a 2 year old son at home. Complained of pain one day, went to the doctor, diagnosed stage 4. Never came back from medical leave and was dead 6 months later. Smoking is crazy
@@Sheahova how the fuck would that make sense? That’s why it’s called taxes dude not to mention $30CAD is around 23 USD
Kids “home schooled” (oldest can’t even type), shut-in and codependent… She is lying to herself and ABSOLUTELY expects them to live with and carry her financially as she ages. She’s on the show because she ran out of credit.
Exactly
Except her kids will not be able to keep a job, and she's just going to have to support them until she dies .. 😔
Not to mention she spends THEIR survivors benefits on cigarettes and bad decisions
Yes😊😊😊
Guest: “I’ll live off of social security”
Caleb: That’s not a ton
Guest: yeah but that’s what my mom lives off of
Caleb: yeah and she lives with you 💀🤣
My man spittin' facts.
Truth! It's nearly impossible to survive off social security these days especially as a single person.
That was the best bit😂😂😂
Noah's prostate being checked might actually get me to sign up for the post show
😈😈😈
Every time caleb's voice hits dog whistle levels, I invest $20. It's like a drinking game, only different. Lol
😂
You’re going to be so set for retirement! 😂
How does this not have more likes ? It sent me into a cackling fit
And frequently
You are easily amused
PSA = prostate specific antigen. It can become elevated due to cancer, infection, benign prostatic hyperplasia, and surgical manipulation.
And Finasteride (which apparently Caleb takes) may lower the number, potentially hiding early signs of prostate cancer... or so I've read.
@@christianmorales5472 Yeah but finasteride also reduces the risk of prostate cancer
I'm a firefighter and just Googled our cancer rates. Yay!
@AmbuBadger You're just discovering this now? Did you not hear of the NY city firefighters who died from cancer *after* 9/11 from inhaling toxins?
@@deirdrekiely6187 Lol, no, I didn't literally "just discover this now." You're the sort who'd get replaced by AI first.
My mom quit her job at 59 with almost no retirement. Burned through her 401k to get to social security. I’m her fall back for emergency’s and it’s ruined the relationship. This lady reminds me of her
It does seem clear that in spite of her saying otherwise she intends for her kids to support her the way she is supporting her own mother. But since they are homeschooled in a state that doesn't monitor or regulate homeschooling they will probably only be able to get a minimum wage job that doesn't even pay their own bills.
Im more than willing to take care of my mother because she was fantastic and my cheerleader growing up. I make great money now and would actually prefer she let me build her an apartment with her own door at my house. She won't, but I'd do it in an instant.
Tough to tell your Mom no but I would have definitely pondered it.
She's put you in a very bad position
If I were you I'd split the scene. Your mom is really selfish.
FYI some of us do care about the smoke breaks but just don't say anything. I hated when my coworkers left all the time to smoke because we had work to do. the ongoing joke was... I guess I should start smoking to get a break.
Also coming back from break with all that icky smoke smell.
It is 100% time theft. They are smoking at least 15 minutes every hour. Ridiculous.
@@FishoutaEspecially in the food service industry.... 2nd and 3rd hand smoke around other people and the food.
This must be a USA thing because in Wales you can't just go out and smoke whenever you do it on your predetermined breaks
@@alanarama Not entirely true in the USA. Some jobs just let people get away with shit like that, lots of managers don't give a fuck.
As someone who was homeschooled and grew up in a homeschooler community, the “checks and balances” are laughable and very lacking in many states. I taught myself highschool, took tests by myself, and checked my answers with the answer book. No one else ever saw my work. Some homeschoolers do a great job, but many of us were just left on our own because our parents didn’t really care what we learned.
Came here to say the same thing. I knew 4th graders that literally couldn't read. I don't think any of my friends did math past 9th grade. Many states require parents to submit progress reports, but NO ONE checks up on the progress so anyone who wanted to could graduate with a 4.0, and through loopholes you graduate with essentially a private school diploma and can then put it on your college application. The system is completely broken
Thank you for your comment, this was my experience too.
I dropped out the 2nd week of my sophomore year and my step mom #3 was going to home school me which was hilarious because she was always drinking vodka and smoking weed lol so I got a job and a GED.
My son is homeschooled and not for some crazy off the wall religion or any other reason. He’s autistic and the schools in our small town are just not equipped to help a child like him. School was traumatizing for him. He was constantly being reprimanded for things he couldn’t help and were even listed on his IEP. He had his recesses taken away because he couldn’t keep up and although he was supposed to have an aid the school told us “sorry, we don’t have any available “. He’s been homeschooled for 3 years total and is in 3rd grade and thriving. His reading scores show his reading ability at a 5th grade level at age 9. This after he left school barely able to read. Yet my niece who is in 5th grade public school reads at a 2nd grade level and the school keeps pushing her forward. Homeschooling has made it possible for my son to have a good life without trauma.
@@tabathajacobs1959School was so traumatizing for me as well, I think a parent like you is def the kind equipped for homeschooling, but most aren't sadly cause of crazy hours, that's what happened to me and why I dropped out cause I had no support, I do now, but then it was so hard. I'm happy to hear ur taking steps to prevent ur son from having a future school life like mine
Masters degree making $18 an hour as an accountant is INSANE
I guess she is not aczually working as an accountant for this little money. I guess she has a very simple job and is not willing to look for more demanding higher paying work.
@@drivingbalu7952she could be doing entry level accounting for $18 especially in a low cost area.
Accounting clerk..
What is even more insane is she works for a local municipality and countrywide majority of these municipalities have progressive board members….the pro union-demand living wages-tax the rich people and this is what they pay people. I personally know this first hand. I got a job in the local Parks & Rec department maintaining these gorgeous parks in a very wealthy area w/a county board that is 4/5 progressive & minorities for only $17.70 a hour. The local landscapers around here start people off $20-22 hour. Google “Rose Tree Park Media Christmas Lights” to see how beautiful it is. You see this beauty and it makes zero sense that people are doing this work for $17.70 hour.
She isn’t an accountant. An accounting clerk is completely different than an accountant.
I work for local government in Florida. This women is 50% of my coworkers. Master degree and making trash money cause they make horrible decisions and are lazy as crap.
That's an interesting observation. I'd love to hear more.
Yes, clearly the person who managed to accomplish 8 years of post secondary education is lazy, that’s definitely the issue here
@@darion4345 They exist.
@@darion4345 it seems like it is the issue. If you can get your doctorate, you should be able to get a well paying job. A lot of these people don't want the responsibility that a higher paying job comes with. It's easier to stay at the bottom and just get by. Just like it's easier to stay in school for 8 years than it is to start your life and career after college.
@@darion4345post secondary education is easy compared to the competitive work world. Colleges are nothing more than businesses making money off you. If you are still impressed by secondary education you need to update your programming.
“I don’t want to be in debt but I don’t want to make money” this is going to be a good one 😅
hurts so much to hear
Leave my grandma alone cuhh 😂😂
It’s not that she doesn’t want to make money she doesn’t want to WORK for money
@@OliviaRatFit She wants to be GIVEN money. Working for money sucks.
at the start so no context yet of this in the episode, but the phrase alone could be a valid view for someone that wanted to be financially secure but not seeking to make as much money as possible.
This lady is a prime example of why both parents need to be financially literate.
Shit happens, people die. It's only responsible to ensure both parties know how to handle money if something happens to one of them.
There is so much more here than being financially illiterate. It's bad enough that she chooses to be poor, but that she chooses the same for her children is criminal.
Yeah. Couples that leave finances to their spouse are setting themselves up for failure. One cares about money and keeping head above water. The other just spends.
Well, het husband told her not to pay taxes, so the ignorance was spread evenly.
That's why I laugh at the single parents who claim they can handle their shytt and even if they do that's irrelevant when your no longer around
@@ekevanderzee9538 Meh that was a choice, "miscommunicated" about paying the payroll taxes, sure I believe that. Its such a dumb excuse that she had to describe it as "If my husband were around he would say....." meaning she is blaming it on the dead with an excuse that he probably used to the IRS agent who didnt believe it for a second.
honestly, of all your videos, this is the one people really need to watch. it is really about the importance of life insurance, emergency funds and retirement funding.
She doesn't want drive 30 minutes to significantly improve her income, but she is willing to get a second job?? WTF
I think she really just counts on that future promotion. She said in the end of an episode that she will find a new one if they wouldn't promote her.
I can kinda explain it to you, based off anecdotal experience I’ve seen.
These types of people are literally scared of the “outside world”. They will make up some BS reason for not wanting to drive 30 minutes for work - “I don’t wanna waste money on gas” when in reality the reason is more fear based. They like living in their own little worlds. In their little hometowns. With their little mom and pop stores. With their co-dependent family slugs down the street. They mistrust outsiders outside their little town.
Lady is making decent money, especially for a small town. She's just making horrible spending decisions. $2838 in social security plus $2k in payroll. She had 5k in income and spent over 6k.
It's because she's full of shit.
She wants to sound like she's willing and reasonable, but without the willingness or being reasonable
Texans for you
Her “I had no hope” really broke my heart. Gosh I wish her the best. Literally teared up watching this one
Unlike many people in this world, this woman has had options, and she still does. Caleb will be throwing her a lifeline. I bet she doesn't grab it.
I know!!!! and it kills me how people can be so careless. Omggg.
Yeah she seems depressed
Seems like she suffers from really low self esteem. Everything is about her kids, never considers herself once, literally afraid her kids won’t love her anymore. Her self worth is really dragging down the rest of her life
Anyone else feel really bad for the kids and not her?? I don’t feel sympathy for victim mentality and all the excuses. She wants the best for her kids, but doesn’t want to actually show them a good example. She’s a heavy smoker, in debt, doesn’t want to use her masters degree to improve their situation, gives her kids whatever out of guilt, and thinks homeschool will set them up for success. Caleb can’t fix delusion. Those young kids will definitely be her retirement plan if she keeps this up.
Exactly
She needs therapy! Whatever happened to her could have traumatized her and this is why she's behaving this way! Maybe her family when she was little never gave her anything especially attention and love. We don't know the backstory so we can't really say a whole lot about that! You don't know someone's past unless if they tell you! Especially when people in my generation grew up with the people that didn't have much to give us. So in a way she is doing what she never had! I was kind of the same way with my own kids but not to this extreme. I was on Social Security but I didn't overspend my money like this. Thousands of dollars in debt over junk. It's sad!
She seems like a vulnerable covert narcissist. IMO they are the worst kind. At least an overt narc can be happy about robbing you. A vulnerable narc is miserable without robbing you, miserable while robbing you, then cries only bc of how bad it makes them look to seem like a “failure”. Meanwhile they did everything selfishly on purpose, and don’t actually care about how it affects other people…they just don’t want you to know that
my takeaway (and I don't know her so I hesitate to judge her) is that this woman has become very stubborn in response to hardships throughout her life. I think it's great that she surrounds herself with supportive family members (who also happen to be independent women) and I even find her general disposition charming. That being said I think that the corner of the world she created for herself in response to trauma has made her very set in her ways. She finds comfort in being supported by her family, she finds comfort in spending on credit, she finds comfort in smoking. The things she finds comforting are ultimately perpetuating bad decisions. Those bad decisions are catching up to her and if she can't break out of her comfort zone then she will languish in small unfulfilling comforts her entire life.
@@queentrinicorn9441 Absolutely, I have a mother like this and got the same vibes. Zero accountability and always playing the "poor me" act.
Okay, this episode is hitting very close to home.
My mom and dad had me when they were 44 and 46. My dad got cancer when I was 2 and died when I was 9.
One of the big reasons why my childhood was not full of more heartache was because my mother was so good with the family budget and money.
My heart goes out to this guest. I know she is hurting. However the way she is throwing everything away is causing so much additional harm to her children.
My favorite thing is when people set crazy high goals ($1M/kid inheritance) and then when they discover getting there is hard, they completely give up. Rather than leaving the kids with anything at all, she decided because she couldn't do a million dollars each she'd rather run herself into the ground spending money she doesn't have.....The all or nothing mentality really f'd her over.
Leaving money to kids is a ridiculous goal without generational wealthy. Focus on having the money to pay your bills, pay your own way in retirement and cover final expenses. The best gift you can give your kids is to not be dependent upon them due to your own poor choices.
It's a classic symptom of depression. But she "doesn't do therapy" so she may never learn that :-( This is a sad case all around.
The worst part is she has all these lofty goals but she has so many excuses for not quitting smoking. Im not being judgmental here since I smoked for a decade and quitting was absolutely the hardest thing to do , but 13 years now im just glad I stopped. It’s expensive, it’s bad for my breath, health and well being and it makes you age faster. That’s a fact because all smokers i know look older, case in point…her
Her explanation at 13 minutes is very honest and realistic. The way she puts it, you understand the hopelessness
I have all the sympathy in the world for her. BUT… her husband died of cancer, she urged everyone to get checked, and she smokes two packs a day? She should be trying to be there for her kids longer.
Edit: there is also a 9% chance she has breast cancer
My dad died of lung cancer I quit smokin/vaping cold turkey the day he was diagnosed. My cousins dad died of lung cancer and she decided to start smoking.
It's called a cope
Nicotine is the hardest drug to quit. Most rehab facilities still let you smoke/vape. I think vaping is less deadly because there’s no tar, but inhaling propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin, maybe even heavy metals all day is probably not good. I’m saying this as someone who still vapes.
@@Sniperboy5551i quit cold turkey the day i found out i was pregnant. Not saying its easy, but when it comes to your kids, i cant think of a better motivation.
@user-oh9wd9kl9n Props to you for quitting. If I ever have a kid, I’d do the same. I know getting someone pregnant would help me get my sh*t together, I think I’d be a good dad.
I closed an account today and cut up a credit card. I cannot thank this channel enough!
Congratulations! Onto the next! 🎉
Open two new ones and let’s celebrate 🎉
"Kids today aren't taught like I was! I believe kids should be taught how to solve problems, not how to take a test!"
Big words from someone not doing very simple math or very simple problem solving.
Taking a test IS problem solving.
As a child that was homeschooled, you best be sure that you’re setting your kids up to succeed in the system that they’ll emerge into as adults, even if you disagree with it. Wasted 8k on student loans and got suspended twice because I was not prepared for structured systems. Worked out in the end and have a decent job from taking a trade, but my homeschooling absolutely fucked me.
What made your homeschool experience a failure? Just curious.
@@remmary100 mostly a complete lack of structure. While I had curriculum, and I truly believe my parents believe that what they did was for the best, the complete lack of deadlines other than “the end of the year” really put me out of my element when I went to college. I also was allowed to skip “homework” or other assignments as long as I could pass the test, which led to me devaluing anything other than tests in college even when they were part of my grade. We also as a family kind of meta gamed the system, because while my state did have specific curriculum requirements and subjects, if I found myself struggling with one, I could just switch halfway through the year to another that would still fulfill the requirement. This led to a comfort in me just not doing things that were hard, and also gave me a false sense of security, because on paper, I was an A+ student with very little effort.
@@remmary100 did you not actually read the post you responded to? OP said that they were not prepared for life beyond homeschooling and it almost tanked their life. Jesus Christ.
I’m so glad my mom ran our homeschooling like a private school, at least that’s what my friend said. She had a rigid schedule starting from breakfast time and chore time etc. though we did still have summer school often because we didn’t finish the school work in the normal timeframe.
Same. It took me several years of early adulthood to understand basic ideas like punctuality in the workplace and how to be accountable to a structured system.
This is the first guest where my heart is bleeding for her. She had an awful loss. Before her husband passed, I'm sure she planned to use her masters and have a great career. She needs to talk to a therapist and get herself happy again. I feel like she is mourning the life she thought she would have. Wishing you love and light.
Absolutely. This woman is beyond depressed
This is a great perspective. I hope she does well.
Yeah I feel like she can't imagine what life and retirement will be without her husband m, she didn't plan for that and I can't imagine what it feels like when you have to replan your whole life like that. I don't think she's even doing this show for herself, I think shes doing it because she knows she's messing up her kids future if she doesn't get this straightened out
Calling herself codependent and sounding happy about it makes me think she would not be open to therapy. I hope I'm wrong. It really sounds like she needs it after all that happened.
man the texas homeschooling system sounds horrible😭 just reading, writing, and citizenship? that's it? no math, science, history? no testing to make sure they're even learning? no curriculum reports? being literate is really the bare minimum requirement to graduate with a ged and expect to find a job in this day and age?
Gotta allow the fearful republicans to isolate their kids from society and reality.
Texas is all about expanding that low-wage, uneducated workforce.
I homeschooled my kid after we went back from Covid and I realized the school near us sucked. They literally don’t check anything. All you do is email to school and say I’m homeschooling my child and that is it there’s no overwatch there’s no curriculum mandated nothing it’s up to the parent. That’s crazy
Looked up texas requirements
She left a couple subjects and requirements
there’s literally no one that checks that your kids are learning anything so they can say there’s requirements but there’s no one asking or checking. I homeschooled for two years.
1-2 packs a day, refuses to drive 30 min to work, financial plan is to die or have social security, but trying her best? This is frustrating.
She’s going through the stages of grief, she needs therapy. She’s given up, she needs someone to help her get back on her feet.
More like heartbreaking.
Also wants to leave 1 million each
How common... "trying my best" but not willing to make any changes
She could pay for her cigarettes If she made an extra $2/hour by driving 45
Minutes
"Texas has the best rules for homeschool...." No testing, no checks... Her sister 'teaches' them and there are tons of xbox charges.
I think the kids are not doing much learning. Poor kids.
This video is so Texas, the low hourly rate , not wanted to move, homeschooling.
Homeschooling is brilliant. But just like public school, it's heavily dependent on parents. This is a woman who should not be teaching her children. Homeschooling will not work because of her. Not because homeschooling is bad.
Public Schools teach boys they can be girls
We are heading toward idiocracy fast…
I just want to remind every man that Prostate Cancer has a 80% recovery rate if caught fairly early- however, 100% of men will inevitably get it if they live long enough. The treatment is also pretty easy going. If you have ANY of the signs go and see a pcp/urologist. To help prevent prostate cancer, remember you need to “use it or you’ll lose it”.
My grandpa had prostate cancer and lived to be 95!!
My father caught it early (stage 2) and is deciding not to do anything about it and pray/diet it away. Do not do this!
@@marycramer2650 tell him that treatment is super easy! This is known to take over if untreated.
You don't need to leave your kids a million dollars each. Getting out of debt and being a stable parent while contributing anything you can to give each of them something when you are gone will be more powerful than giving up because of an unrealistic goal at this point.
She should try for something more like "leave each kid a down payment" so there feels like a purpose to the number and figure out what the average down-payment for a house is and maybe up that to match for inflation for 10-20 years out. Then it has purpose and sounds like a valid target but is actually on the horizon rather than riding on a miracle.
The peace of mind alone is worth more than I can begin to explain. She’s got to try for them.
@@maureenviolaI think by setting an unrealistic goal, they give themself an excuse to fail. If her goal was “get out of debt” she’d feel bad about spending. But if she’s a million dollars away from a million, then what the harm of putting another $200 on her credit card?
46???? Girl been having a tough life
Having a terminally ill partner and being widowed will age you! It's rough!
no shot she's 46... she looks like my grandparents... probably 56
Tbh she has no makeup on and doesn’t dye her hair plus lots a sun damage. She looks fine though.
@@micahreisman9360 her mom is 67....
@@qfason5836the haircut is aging her as well
This was my mom after my dad died, except no life insurance. She racked up 75,000 of credit card debt and 120,000 of remortgage debt on a 13,000 a year job. She had other issues, alcohol and smoking. We lived in abject poverty. When people questioned why she bought us things it was because she felt so bad for how much we suffered. She was 44 when my dad died, we were 8 and 6. She died in poverty when I was 29. I was paying her monthly mortgage, sending her money for food, and constantly worried about her everyday. When she died, as the oldest I took on the mortgage (house was unsellable, still is after 25,000 in work I have done to it). The credit cards thankfully got wiped with her death. I am now paying a mortgage on a house I can’t sell, that is barely standing up. I am making progress but please god please, if you’re a parent listening to this or reading this, don’t do this to your children. I don’t wish this stress on anyone.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ll keep this in mind.
Cancer is terrifying. Source: me with breast cancer at 29. PLEASE always get checked. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
I am getting a spot checked out asap in the other area. That stuff isn't something to joke about.
I hope you get better soon and kick cancers ass! ❤
Take good care! Great strides have been and continue to be made in healing. All the best to you.
I'm so sorry you're going through that ❤
So young breaks my heart to see that. I truly hope all the best for you.
she’s so honest about her feelings and truly wants help. I am rooting for her, she can use emotional/mental health support from a therapist.
She can't afford one. She's keeping herself poor. I think she's lazy.
When I was 46 I thought I could work forever; healthy, strong and very busy juggling homeschooling, nursing and looking after my elderly father who moved in with us. I never thought about the future because I was too busy juggling the present. The children grew up, left home and got married and my father died 9 years ago this month. After a period of time I was able to start reflecting and began thinking about our future. It has been a long, hard journey but in one year we will finally be totally debt free, mortgage free ---- after 38 years with a mortgage!!! 8 years ago, I changed jobs, packed my pension to make up for the lean years of contributions, moved to a cheaper house to cut our debt in half and doubled our mortgage payments, all while putting my kids through university, paying for weddings and renovating the house. It's a good job I finally woke up because I am now physically disabled and cannot work even though I would like to. We have a chance now at a reasonable retirement as long as inflation doesn't decimate our savings.
Me and my partner are in our thirties and our goal is to retire in our fifties, we don't want riches but enough to live a humble, comfy life and have enough for our only daughter to put us in a home together when we're too old (we can go together without her feeling guilty, because we'll have each other, we'll just goddip about the other residents and their kids😂)
I love how that "get yourself a sweet treat" thing caught on
As a physician, PSA is not a particularly reliable screening modality for prostate cancer and had led to many people receiving unnecessary surgeries. It is no longer recommended for universal PSA screening in all men. There may be specific circumstances where it is appropriate to obtain a PSA but you would need to speak to your doctor to determine if it is right for you.
The new screening modality is the gloved hand, right? Ouch.
It was obvious that her suggestion should be taken with a grain of salt when she couldn't remember what PSA level stood for. It's really important, but also, "Idk it's something..."
Do they just wait until the cancer becomes invasive now like with cervical cancer? I had grade CIN 3. Couldn’t beat high risk hpv for years and they refused to take it out until the cancer got invasive. Thankfully a product from Italy helped me clear the dysplasia when doctors here left it to grow for 8 years.
Most doctors I work with still use the PSA as a screen. They don’t rely on the PSA to determine if surgery is needed.
My PSA turned up highly elevated and, yes, I have cancer. Very early, being monitored every 6 months and I get a biopsy once a year.
Take the job. Even if its almost an hour away. Even if you have to move. It's worth it.
I got $2/hr raise a few months ago. Im doing a tons of overtime. It has literally changed my life. Over $100/week going to debt when i was barely able to follow my current budget. It makes me feel so free. Do what ya gotta do people. I have 5 roommates and work 6 days a week. I can probably fit some doordashing in on the weekends too after i fix up my car situation.
Another Sweet Treat! Someone older than 25!
My aunt quit smoking at around 55. She died of lung cancer at 75. This lady says she's 46. She already looks like she's 55-60 years old because of her unhealthy behaviors. At some point she needs to look herself in the mirror and stop making excuses for herself.
My Da quit 10 years, developed lung Ca and died in 6 months.😢 It's not an easy or steady path
Not to justify her habits but in this case I think it's the grief what has aged her so much
Honestly, I think it is mostly just the hairstyle...
@@nonono2793 No way. Smoking ages people ridiculously efficiently. Ever watch old TV programs from the 1960s and earlier? Look up the actors sometime - you'll see their age at the time and be stunned at how much older _everyone_ looked, largely due to the fact that _everyone_ smoked back then.
I wonder how much of her money is going to cigarettes
Caleb you are the Judge Judy of personal finances ❤
I'm always impressed with how accurate Caleb is with his calculator, especially when he's mashing on it like a monkey on a typewriter 20:04
This woman reminds me so much of my late mom.. died at 55 from lung cancer, knowing she was killing herself with the cigarettes financially and ultimately her health. This woman needs to realize that her cigarettes and lackof saying no to her kids will destroy her and them. I live with so much anger because of the way my mom treated me and her own life. I pray this woman does not do that to herself and her children.
My mom passed away last year at 64 after having a pair of back to back heart attacks after surgery. She didnt stop smoking when she ended up in the hospital in 2016. Had no lifestyle changes to become more healthy. Its hard to watch people that you care about fall apart but what can you really do? We all make our own choices.
My mom was the same with alcohol, ambien, and credit cards. We tried to help her for 20 years, and she refused it until she was underwater on her home, had 10 years of un-filed taxes, and had garnished wages. All her credit cards were maxed
@@FlyingJ420 Sometimes you have to throw your hands up, let whatever happens happen to them. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She is voluntarily destroying herself and her kids
My mum got out of hospital, and stubbornly stomped into her bedroom and lit up a cigarette because "how dare people/doctors tell her what to do".
She loved cigarettes/alcohol more than anything else in the world. That was her reason to live.
She died twice (pulled through the first time the doctors removed her life support). Lucky she had to go into care and they forced her to stop smoking and put her on oxygen and she became actually lovely for two years before she actually passed. She was 76.
I feel like crap all the time and I don't smoke and rarely drink. Can only imagine how she felt for decades with her lifestyle.
My mom was also financially irresponsible her whole life. She destroyed everything that came her way... antique furniture, cars, houses, an inheritance, etc. and hoarded her house with garbage. Lost her house in the end and ended up with tuberculosis and had to come live with me. I became power of attorney for her and managed to save a good amount of money for her so that now she has enough money to live on... With me. And I've always had her pay me rent. And not allow her to hoard or overspend $.
I really enjoyed this guest compared to a lot of the others. Open, honest, self aware and willing to listen. Appreciate older guests closer to my age (38) than the young ones who have barely started out in life. I wish her well.
Within the first few seconds, all I can hear in my head is Caleb yelling "WHAT ARE YOU??"
true
I want that as my Ringtone. It would keep me out of the sweet treats.
Me: poor
@@CalebHammerplease offer us Financial Audit "What ARE you?" T-shirts.
Kelcey reminds me of my bff, Netty who sadly passed away from cancer in 2018 (58 yrs old). Back in the day, she'd tell me that smokers get extra breaks, and had a convenient excuse for disappearing while on the job. She was resistant to any advice about getting ahead in life (taking classes, finding a better job etc). This episode made me feel really, really sad.
I don't think k I could hang with someone like that, let alone be a BFF. And those f'ing smokers fuck over every non-smoker who is actually doing their work.
Condolences on the loss of your husband. My husband died at age 50. His 2-pack a day lifeline smoking habit gave him lung cancer. Stage 4 upon diagnosis. He lasted 8 months which was too long. He suffered. You can quit. Of course it’s not easy. People quit every day. You can do it. I think this is the most important to-do on your list. Your children will miss you if you die young.
Paid my truck off today!! Thank you Caleb for keeping that fire under my behind.
👏🏻
Congrats!!🎉
" my kids get an allowance.."
- "YOU BARELY GET AN ALLOWANCE"
But the money they get from SS is for them!
Thank you Caleb for the kinder, gentler thumbnail for this lady.
I’m really loving the recent videos! There’s a nice balance of Caleb shrieking and calmly enraged Caleb.
Public School: No Way in Hell
Homeschool with the mentally ill aunt: yessir
But her sister the smartest person she knows and she gets to be the principal!
News flash: your second grade teacher was somebodies crazier aunt
Most everyone here is operating under the misguided assumption that the teacher's knowledge and IQ determine the student's education. The curriculum is what's key and she uses a very expensive one that's used in many private schools.
Think back to some of your teachers. Not all geniuses, were they?
True homeschooling takes intent and you also must make sure the kids have social interaction.
But in my experience, the people with the strongest opinions on homeschooling have the least experience with it.
@@SippsShanandTvery good point the strongest opinions have no clue, but that’s most topics. Homeschooling should be the best option because parents should have the most interest in their kids being successful. But unfortunately people don’t have the finances to make it work. I’d love to have my wife, who is a teacher, stay home and teach our kids but the past 17 years together making dumb choices have made it where we can’t. Maybe soon I hope
I’m a mentally ill aunt 😂💀
I feel for this lady. Loss of a loved one can destroy you're want to live let alone thrive in life. When you have kids your forced to put on a brave face when you are dying inside so being content is the best you can do. But at the same time, you love your kids more than anything and only want the best for them and will do anything to make them happy. She is fighting a battle within herself.
Smoking is an addiction, and it helps with dealing. It sucks but it is what it is. Hopefully, she can find a way out of this because her kids do need her, even as they grow up and move out.
There’s no way these people should be homeschooling while not being able to be basic adults after 5 decades. Wild. Way to set your kids up to be socially and mentally screwed. How selfish
Statistically homeschooled kids do better in university, are more successful, and have more varied and healthy social relationships.
There’s likely a much bigger disparity between homeschooled kids in different situations than there is between different kids in public schools. So it’s possible you’re right. There are definitely homeschooling horror stories (although my guess is that most of those are related to particular religious reasons for homeschooling).
But I’m not sure we can make that assumption here, when homeschooled kids perform more on par with private schooled kids overall.
It’s not like public schools teach finances all that well either - as evidenced by what we’re seeing here.
Most of the people in my life have been homeschooled. Most of them are under 30, married, own their own homes, have no debt, and have good jobs. My husband and I are included in that. A few of my friends graduated high school with their associate degree. Homeschooling is entirely dependent on the students and the parents being willing to do the work, just like public school. (Yes, public school requires parents to be active in their kids' lives as well. Ask any teacher.) The difference is homeschooling can provide an education much more tailored to the student's interests, thus setting them up for a better future career. Are there people who abuse the system and don't teach their kids? For sure. But I think there are way more kids in public school who aren't able to read at the level they should than there are homeschoolers not being taught.
im sure you and all of your friends had perfect parents
Well if she went to public school she should be totally successful, right? Since the public school system is so perfect after all.
@---yx7ti My homeschooled husband's parents were divorced, abusive, and neglectful, but he rose above it, finished his schooling on his own, moved out at 17, got married at 19, and bought our home at 24. We can't always help what situations we're put into, but we can control how we respond to them. My husband didn't have a great homeschooling experience, but he took control of it at the end and is still better off than most people his age.
I would love if Caleb started bringing up the fact that carrying a balance means you lose the 30 day grace period for interest on new purchases, and interest on those purchases starts accumulating daily. I had no idea!!
Neither did I
Get a different card ahaha, most don't do that
What card does this?
@@anubisgod23 did you read all the terms and conditions on all your cards? From what I gather most of them do this.
@@ahooks4474 seems like most of them.
Home schooling needs so much more structure lol. Texas not having any way to verify parents are doing their jobs in teaching them is the most Texas thing I’ve ever read.
"I don't want to make money!"
*proceeds to go on Financial Audit
God I love these Friday episodes. Time for my sweet treat.
just wish they aired around cocktail hour EST so I could enjoy a few adult beverages with the new episode without feeling guilty. Of course you don't want to get ahold of bad ice cube...
I get what she’s saying. She’s saying she doesn’t really want for a bigger house or a nicer car, so making more money isn’t a priority in and of itself, although of course she’d need to make more money to service her debt and to pay cash for the things she’s buying with debt.
My heart hurts for those children. They've been through so much and I wish there was some way to help them. Between losing their dad, moving to a new area, and being homeschooled, they really need a good mentor and someone to show them alternative ways of living. I think they're being sheltered and moving into the real world as an adult is going to be a shock.
The idea is that they don’t become independent. My younger sister and my mom are profoundly codependent as a result of her being homeschooled.
She's setting those kids up for failure. You know when you drive through a small town and you see people that have lived there their entire lives and you can just tell they're never going to leave. Those are her kids. Not saying you can't be happy and successful in a small town but you know the archetype of person I'm referring to. They aren't going to know any better and they aren't going to think that there's anything else out there for them.
I think there's so many women, especially with children can relate to this poor woman. I'm a mom and I can't imagine not thinking of my son or his future. I love that Caleb did this interview. It's a reality check for some of us. She sounds like she just wants to cry and I want to cry with her.
We're definitely going to need a follow up episode for this one!!
Caleb aggressively clicking on his calculator is my sweet treat ahah
If he could do this while shrieking "TAQUITOS TAQUITOS TAQUITOS TAQUITOS TAQUITOS WHO ARE WE? WHY POSSIBLY?!" it would really make my day.
I love when he picks up his pen and slams it a few times. 😂
While his voice hits notes that only bats or whales can detect.
@@the6cat. That's "Peak Squeak"
@@carlfaitware8099 I wish we could get TAQUITOS TAQUITOS TAQUITOS as the chime when u buy something with a credit card instead of the cute little ding sound at the credit card reader
Lab worker here.
PSA = prostate specific antigen aka the amount of that protein (produced by the prostate gland) in your blood.
Med tech high five! Woo!
@@iamthebock🫡
She is right that Texas is "homeschool friendly". They also have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country and the lowest quality of education. Which is a correlation across the USA. Private schools aren't better, they're sheltered. That can be good or bad. Wishing her the best though, I hope she can do it.
$18/hr with an MPA and experience is CRAZY
She had 4 jobs in 4 years. I am wondering about her behaviour at work.
She said herself she's "pretty blunt" and that can make it tough to hold an office job for long @@ekevanderzee9538
Would you hire her?
"My breakfast is a pot of coffee and a bowl of cigarettes."
10,000% relatable.
Yuck.
GROSS.
Blended coffee (now made at home - tku Caleb) and .5 mg of nicotine through a vape.
She's not missing anything about homeschooling in Texas. It's a huge problem in a lot of states because people greatly overestimate how good they are at teaching and underestimate how much work goes into making a curriculum. I say this as someone who had some homeschooling and saw how much work went into it to make sure it was in compliance with my state's standards. Homeschooling can be great and give kids a lot of extra focus and chances to get ahead, but nine times out of ten it's a terrible idea and hurts the kids more than it helps.
At least in my case, public school was more of a social event than learning. It didn’t take me much effort to learn things, so I just kinda screwed around most of the time. I would’ve hated homeschooling.
@@Sniperboy5551actually that’s mostly the point of early education hence why they pass kids on more frequently early on in primary school educations. A large part of your mental development is your social development and so that social aspect of elementary even into middle school is crucial for the later educational growth of the majority of children.
My local schools have 0 kids reading or doing math on grade level. 0 kids. I know a lot of himeschoolers. No one is failing that badly. Granted, I'm in a state with way more regulation than Texas, but I've only met a few parent failures where as I know a lot of failing schools around me.
@@skyjoy.design The socialization critique is a long dead myth about homeschooling. Sure standing in a line may be a challenge for many homeschoolers, but being social or fitting in with groups of people is an individual thing, not a how you were schooled thing. Weird people exist all over and are schooled all sorts of ways.
@@MissMosierable sorry if it came out like I was bad talking homeschooling! It wasn't meant as a critique of homeschooling, rather a critique of the states where they don't check on homeschooling and whether the kids are actually learning things. Homeschooling did great things for me and put me at the top of of the standardized math test when I entered high school, so I know how useful getting specialized attention can be! I just think the states need to pay more attention. Especially because just about every other case of really horrible child abuse in the news has someone who kept their kid out of school so people wouldn't notice. In a system with those high of stakes if it fails, there needs to be more involvement to keep the kids safe.
She doesn't want to be in debt but doesn't want to make money and wants to give each of her kids 1 million dollars. How delusional.
I dont want a man tell me what do but want man to lead me vibes 😅
It’s not that…she placed that value bc she knows it’s unattainable, that way when her kids are older she can easily make an excuse as to why she couldn’t give them financial support
How long do you need to take a typing class? Maybe it’s a hidden cigarette bucket
All she wants is free money. Those credit cards worked until she had to pay them back.
I think one of the most important parts that got missed here is the fact that a government job comes with government health insurance and a pension. That's why she doesn't want to give it up for more pay
She can go work in public sector in a better paying city. Good grief.
Girlfriend, PLEASE stop smoking. My grandma died at 62 from severe emphysema due to her smoking for 30 years. It WILL kill you.
Your grandma didn’t start smoking until she was 32? That’s rare.
@@Sar-ahG I started smoking (one a day at best, idk how people chain smoke) and drinking at 27. Don't do it anymore though. ADHD could have something to do with it in my situation.
@@Sar-ahG no she started smoking at 15 and quit by 45 but by then the damage was done
It's a slow suicide by suffocation.
My mother WAS a 50-year smoker who suffocated and had a heart attack right in front of me just 26 months ago.
From the perspective of someone who smoked one to two packs a day, the only thing that helped me quit was cutting back gradually every day. Instead of three cigarettes for breakfast, I would smoke two and so on slowly until my body got used to it and also slowly kicked the habit of social smoking and succeeded after almost 6 months. I tried a lot of things, but this was the only one that helped me, and now I've been nicotine-free for 6 months. My advice is for everyone who is in that position and trying to stop it to gradually reduce it every day/week because that's the only way the hand habit disappears.
@@d.sherman8563will it work for stupid vapes? 😅
I appreciate how kind Caleb truly is. ❤❤❤
Homeschool mama here in Oklahoma. We don’t have required testing either, but as a parent I want to make sure he’s on grade level so I do test him. There are a lot of parents who abuse the system and it is sad, but I would hope that most parents would take that initiative to make sure their kiddo is educated.
No hate. I'm just saying it's something to think about. Every home schooled person I have ever met has been severely socially challenged. Which puts them at a disadvantage at every turn in life.
Test taking is an important skill for many professions - nursing, accounting, law, to name a few. Licensing requires it.
I also homeschool. I test them, but we don't do the standardized testing the school does (they're in 1st and 2nd grade. They'll learn to take the SATs, etc.) We follow standards though and they are both atleast a grade level ahead in every subject. Unfortunately, people who don't take the responsibility of homeschooling seriously make it seem like an irresponsible choice for the rest of us.
if homeschooling parents were concerned about their children's education they'd send their children to actual school.
@@pjm3005you're totally entitled to your opinion. I can absolutely respect that. I had two kids go through public school and this is what's best for our family at this time. Luckily, you'll be able to make whatever decision is best for your family as well.
Her view with home schooling and what should be taught with children is shocking considering her being at this financial state at her age. Practically zero in retirement, huge amounts of credit card debt, and dependent on her elderly mother and sister.
Oh this woman really resonates with me. Grief spending is real. When you have a major loss like that-it’s really important to try to not make any major lifestyle changes for at least the first 6-12 months. You can really rack up some debt grief spending.
I feel so bad for her. She's just so defeated. It even manifests on her physical appeareance. I thought she was at least 55 years old, but she's just 46. I hope she gets through all this.
Smoking is awful for your skin. I think the short grey hair is visually aging her quite a bit it’s very grandma style. So many women dye their hair I think we have lost touch of how early women can start going grey.
@@teslaw.5132 This!
Yeah the hair is a Golden Girls style. She looks defeated.
@@teslaw.5132 Truth, I'm 39 and I have tons of gray hair. I started going gray them in my mid-twenties 🙃
She looks like my mom who’s 63
Honestly, her kids are old enough to include in this process. If she explains why they have to cut back, and what the goal is, I'm sure they'll rally behind her. Because she does seem like a really sweet and loving woman. I'm sure her kids love her and want her to be happy.
And it could even be a fun family adventure. See who can come up with the most creative meals, or a new free activity they could do. Maybe learn to make their own soaps if that's something the daughter is into. They could make a goal graph and update it every month to see the progress. Not only would that prevent her kids from needing to take care of her in the future, but it would help give them a better gift than any sweet treats- a better understanding of money and budgeting
Great idea!
So glad you were able to put a smile on that woman's face and give her hope. She's had enough crappy stuff happen in her life bless her
She’s 3 years older than me? Wow smoking and grief is wild.
She's acting like she's 65 years old. That depression she carries will poison the loved ones around her.
Her skin looks ok, I think it’s just the haircut and styling that’s aging her appearance
Look at Obama, his hair was gray after his first term. Stress is a killer.
She's also had kids and you appear to be overweight with a cat. Judge not, lest ye be judged. I've met people my age who look older and younger. Variety of factors.
@@Sniperboy5551 I noticed that as well 😂