WHAT TO DO WHEN THE NARCISSIST COMES BACK

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  • Опубліковано 15 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 54

  • @El-bz1tq
    @El-bz1tq 3 місяці тому +5

    They are smart enough not to provoke openly, probably because they know that just a birthday message is a provokation in itself. Very good point by the way. Difficult to perceive!

  • @janellewolfe5260
    @janellewolfe5260 8 місяців тому +3

    Saving this video to watch again as many times as I need to help me resist his endless Hoovers since I left him a little over a months ago.

  • @ld8196
    @ld8196 Рік тому +9

    This is the best video on the topic I’ve seen. My narc contacted via text a few days ago . 6 month no contact.

    • @CheezhOfficial
      @CheezhOfficial 4 місяці тому +1

      Same here lol. She just texted me after 6 months of no contact.

    • @originalcreation36
      @originalcreation36 4 місяці тому

      @@CheezhOfficialmine apologized on a voicemail when he connected a few months ago.

  • @fortune.
    @fortune. Рік тому +21

    Thank you. This happened today, about 20 minutes ago and my heart started racing. It was via text. I left a very long comment venting in detail and I deleted it. Simply said - He is desperate for supply and its manipulations, again. He is desperate for a response from me after I went NC. He has no supply to feed the affliction. He isn't sorry. He wants to bait and hook me yet again with false grandiose promises and the dream life and screenshots of homes he's looking to buy. In the area i wanted. "We could have this if you'd only stop criticizing me 24/7." Spinning spinning spinning, its bs. My insides are burning with the desire to say how I feel, but not only will it be in vain, I will be feeding his supply and he will hurt me again, even if via text. I'm not giving him any more of me. Go find other supply, you abused me and you know you did.
    Every single thing you said in this video is absolutely bullseye spot on and I thank you for giving me the snap out of it reminder that he doesn't actually care. And whatever I say indeed will be table turned somehow and used against me. Stay No Contact. Ignore. Don't engage. Ignore. I will do that. Thank you, so very much. I will refer back to this video when he does it again. Subbed too. You are awesome. I almost responded.

    • @ThallonRose
      @ThallonRose 11 місяців тому +1

      Thank you so much for your comment. I felt every single word.

    • @jeanetteedwards3129
      @jeanetteedwards3129 8 місяців тому

      Same 🎉🎉

  • @nipi2467
    @nipi2467 5 днів тому

    You may not be a professional but you wake up a lot just like a professional do ❤

  • @esthers333
    @esthers333 11 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for validating my thoughts and helping me to understand why he’s trying to contact me

  • @bonitahighley7922
    @bonitahighley7922 Рік тому +4

    Yes,Im getting stronger.

  • @divineconnections5602
    @divineconnections5602 Рік тому +2

    AMAZING VIDEO! Thank you! You are 💯🎯 spot on. A narc ex-friend texted today as if her recent harsh & nasty attitude never happened. I had to pause today and think how or if to respond. I NEVER RESPONDED. Thank GOD!

  • @HarryBarker-yp1xv
    @HarryBarker-yp1xv Місяць тому

    HILARIOUS, I paused on the ad during this video and it was Liberty Mutal ad where they're in a parade and the Guy is bigger than life in cartoon flying above. the parade The title of this video and seeing that was too funny! LOL

  • @laylabrashear3118
    @laylabrashear3118 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you for answering my question

  • @rbs427
    @rbs427 Рік тому +2

    Thank you. I will not respond. I needed to hear this.

  • @HarryBarker-yp1xv
    @HarryBarker-yp1xv Місяць тому

    Nothing has changed, you're supposed to get back in your assigned role and serve/give until you're empty.

  • @susanparker9877
    @susanparker9877 Рік тому +4

    Yup, my ex has been after me for the last 4 days.... That's after the police told him to leave me alone last month. Never sorry, just like nothing ever happened. He's been off work in a narcissistic collapse for a month (coincidence?). Falling apart and needs 'mom'. Wants me to feel sorry for him. I can't do it and warned him to leave me alone. The next police visit will be his arrest.
    I've ignored all calls and drive bys for a month. He found me in my back yard 4 days ago, and telling him to leave was enough to start him up again. I should have walked into the house and called the police.

  • @shawndarodgers939
    @shawndarodgers939 7 місяців тому

    Thank you for your words I appreciate you this is a EXCELLENT video 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

  • @chxwv
    @chxwv Рік тому +4

    After our first break up when we met after almost 20 years I showed her my diary that I had written back then on network54 , documenting how much I had missed her , and had loved her , as she had said she didn’t think I really loved her . Instead of showing any interest in reading something that was very personal to me and I wanted to share with her to remove any doubt that I had really loved her , as it was documented at a time when she had already married someone else (within months of our break up), she just went to sleep or pretended to have fallen asleep . I thought she may want to read it after she wakes up . She however never asked me to show that again after she woke up . I had found that very odd , as I thought she would have wanted to see how I felt and thought about her . I , being the naive person I am, did not pay attention to this , as I think that was another red flag that even after 20 years she really didn’t care to try to know how strongly I had felt for her . Within months she caused me a serious physical injury and couldn’t care less , resulting in reverse discard , so she can continue to act like a victim, leaving me alone to deal with horrible medical complications , a cascade of problems , from the injury SHE caused. I wish I had never given her this second chance !

    • @ld8196
      @ld8196 Рік тому

      Oh wow!!! I’m so sorry that happened. I pray you receive all the love, care, attention and mental support she never gave you and the inner healing will come very soon. I truly understand. May the Universe guide you in your self love and healing. Namaste

    • @chxwv
      @chxwv 11 місяців тому

      @@ClearChoiceAquatics run before she causes you an internal injury that even after two years of constantly trying to get healed by seeing specialists from coast to coast I’m still suffering and have not been able to work full time . Not to say thst emotional trauma she caused was any less but the physical trauma can be devastating if you cannot get healed from it , as it constantly reminds you of the “accident” she caused and then just left me , didn’t care if I ever got healed.

  • @El-bz1tq
    @El-bz1tq 3 місяці тому

    Sending 'nice' birthday messages can also be an alibi in a way: 'see how nice i am, i didnt do the silent treatment, you must be imagining it', for example. Do not tell them what they did. Can so easily be denied. Just ignore as they do. You didn't deserve an explanation, nor do they

  • @laylabrashear3118
    @laylabrashear3118 3 роки тому +6

    In this video do I ever have to worry about him again? "he told me that he has moved on and that I need to move on too. The last two weeks was best days of his life. I can take my cancer treatments and go to hell." stay gone. He is happy

    • @laylabrashear3118
      @laylabrashear3118 3 роки тому

      By the way I'm in another state getting chemo treatment battling stage 4 cancer

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  3 роки тому +1

      There are never any guarantees of anything that someone may try to do in the future. It’s a good idea to hope for the best but be prepared for what you will do if he were to come back.

    • @brendakauffman2222
      @brendakauffman2222 3 роки тому +2

      @@LookingBehindtheMirror Very rare for the narc. not to hoover back at some point, though occasionally it does happen. If there is an illness involved that threatens them, because they cannot be front and center.

    • @originalcreation36
      @originalcreation36 4 місяці тому

      @@laylabrashear3118 oh no! I'm so sorry. Healing prayers inwardly and outwardly… (( hug)) God I pray 🙏🏾

  • @deb2319
    @deb2319 Рік тому

    Wow! So Good! Thank You!

  • @emilyhalpern551
    @emilyhalpern551 6 місяців тому

    Love your talk. Please don’t add a soundtrack to your videos- it detracts from what you’re saying.

  • @kirstiehill7245
    @kirstiehill7245 3 роки тому +5

    Hey
    Plz may you make a video that lists something from many people who have gone no contact w a narcissist and got away from that person
    The list w be what the narcissist took from them how they suffered when speaking to the narcissist
    I just feel there should be some rly dope correlation of negative effects the relationship had on people
    For me it was feeling worthless unhappy and having zero confidence
    🤓kbye

  • @JyoKaPa
    @JyoKaPa 5 місяців тому

    My narcissistic younger sister abused me and threw me out of her house

  • @dragonclaws9367
    @dragonclaws9367 Рік тому +2

    He says he didn't end it. But, He acts like I'm dead.
    He doesn't know when my birthday even is lulz. I just feel bad because "my idiot son" is going to ruin himself doing this. He's older and has shot himself in his foot now.

  • @ld8196
    @ld8196 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for this and absolutely great advice but what to do if you are close and have a great relationship with one of his family members? We chat on an occasional basis and the convos are excellent. WE BOTH NEVER bring up the narc but I had a dream about the narc. Smh I told the family member. He was astonished and said the narc had a bad health problem. ( EXACTLY LIKE THE DREAM I had not a clue and the FM didn’t mention it until I said something about the dream) Then out the blue… narc via text the other day. He shared with me he never discusses me but this is too much of a coincidence. It’s been almost a year. Do I explain to the family member or go no contact on both with no response? Help

    • @ThallonRose
      @ThallonRose 11 місяців тому

      Oh my goodness wow the same thing happened to me. It was a year of no contact. He even blocked me but we have a mutual friend who I’ve never talk to him about. One day she tells me his mom got sick and literally three days later, he sends me a text message! She has told me she does not give any information about me, but I can’t help but wonder if she did because what are the chances??

  • @originalcreation36
    @originalcreation36 4 місяці тому

    I told mine about a hospitalized family member and he turned it around to blame me because we were not together and he could've been there for me??? I am like are you serious?? Right now? Then wants me to live a great guy and told me I will not be second, Do you hear me?”

  • @leahostevens4859
    @leahostevens4859 6 місяців тому

    My ex didn’t even like me… I don’t think I’m even on his mind. He’s too busy love bombing his new girlfriend….or by now he’s probably looking for more supply…..

  • @laylabrashear3118
    @laylabrashear3118 3 роки тому +2

    I have a question my friends said my ex was the narcissist according to my ex he says that I am rude selfish disrespectful stressful is it possible that I'm the narcissist

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  3 роки тому +1

      Extremely unlikely if you’re asking yourself that question. Narcissists are very very unlikely to ever consider that they might be a narcissist. I have a video I posted at the end of December called “When You Think You Are the Narcissist” that might help you with this question.

    • @brendakauffman2222
      @brendakauffman2222 3 роки тому

      @@LookingBehindtheMirror Narcs don't self reflect and they don't evaluate their behavior and try to improve.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 5 місяців тому

    Oh hell no

  • @amothergoddess2774
    @amothergoddess2774 Рік тому

    SISTER WHO I'VE GONE NO CONTACT KEEPS RINGING, AND I'M HAVING THOUGHTS OF HAVING HER BACK, THOUGH I CHANGE MY MIND FAST, THEN MY PSYCHIATRIST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND AND I'VE GOT TO EXPLAIN IT ALL AND HE IS LISTENING AND FINDS IT HARD TO UNDERSTAND, THEN YOY'RE LOOKING FOR A THERAPIST AND THEY CAN'T SEE YOU FOR MONTHS, NO-ONE TO TALK TO BUT MY RAGDOLL CAT WHO UNDERSTANDS AT LEAST, THEN ANOTHER NARC. SISTER WHO BUYS YOU CHEAP PERFUME, WHILST U BUY HER EXPENSIVE E VERYTHING, ITS DEPRESSING, I'M GETTING RID OF ALL THEIR CHEAP PERFUME AND OTHER CHEAP GIFTS! BY THE WAY THIS SISTER IS WEALTHY, SO IS OTHER ONE WELL OFF!

  • @kellybenelli
    @kellybenelli 9 місяців тому

    I still can’t figure out if my ex is a narcissist or just an extremely traumatized person with addiction issues. He def had a horrible childhood too. It’s really confusing cuz he does some of the narcissist things but def doesn’t do all of the stuff mentioned.

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  9 місяців тому

      If this all doesn’t “click” for you, then it really isn’t important. What really matters is how he treats you. I explain narcissism because it helps people see things clearly. But if this only makes you more confused, focus on how you’re being treated. He has no right to treat you badly. And there is absolutely no reason that can excuse it. (Or how you WERE being treated, I should say)

    • @El-bz1tq
      @El-bz1tq 3 місяці тому

      Sibling phone after 2 years and act just as normal. I answered the phone and talked about ordinary things. I wasn't acting deliberately, but it took me about one hour to realize that this pretending was much worse than the silent treatment. Then i blocked the person. The worst thing for me isn't them ignoring me, but me having to ignore them

  • @katarzynaklocek8881
    @katarzynaklocek8881 7 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @justmo2023
    @justmo2023 4 місяці тому

    ❤❤❤