Why do narcissists come back after discard | The Narcissists' Code Ep 624
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- Опубліковано 24 січ 2023
- why do #narcissists come back after discard
Official- www.mentalhealness.net / Brand Shop - i-am-self-love.myshopify.com
Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
Website - www.mentalhealness.net
1 on 1's and all my links - beacons.page/mentalhealness
Weekly Newsletter - subscribepage.io/mentalhealness
Thank you so much
It's because they realize they won't ever find someone as authentic and great as you
My ex realized that and he is hoovering 25 years - kick them in the as...
This is delusional and emotional thinking - I’m hoping you’re joking 😢they come back because they can and victims let them
Mine doesn’t think I’m better or more authentic. He just knows I’m vulnerable & a good source of supply if I allow him back. It starts all over again after the live bombing. I’m not special; he just likes watching me suffer.
I wish this were true, but it feels more like an emotional coping statement from a victim
No that’s not the reason they don’t care about you or see you as special that’s bs the reason is because they’re bored and need attention and they’re trying to see if you’re weak enough to fall for it a second or third time
I left my ex fiance in 2015. He knocked on my door in 2022. I asked him what he was doing here. He said he was wondering how I was. I shut the door in his face. No contact.
🙌🏾
👏👏👏
power move.
😂😂😂😂
🙌✌️👏👏👏
It's like they have no memory of the things they've done or the harm they've brought to another person's life. They have no remorse, no guilt, no shame! I haven't spoken to my narc for six months and now you want to talk to me. Why?It's a sick game that narcissists are playing (my opinion), and if we let them back into our lives we won't be any better for it ❤.
They have a memory alright they just dont want to think about it cause it brings them shame. Lee has a great post on this.
No one gives them the kind of supply that you give to them that’s why.
😵💫
@@MentalHealness According to Sam Vaknin, narcissists hoover because they haven't found a suitable 'psychological' replacement, or something of that nature.
Wrong
They're like children. They suddenly want a toy they've discarded after they see another kid play with it. They have arrested emotional development. I just dumped a 64 year old baby 🍼🥳
Right?! 😂
That’s funny and true !
64?😮
Seems like the older some people get the mindset deteriorates.
I'm sorry to say
😂😂😂
I finally left mine 3 days ago… she blocked and discarded me. Took me a while to get over it. Now I’m soooo free! She made me some anxious and in pain for so long. Forgot who I was and isolated me. 2024 here we come!!!
Keep going you get stronger by the day 🙌🏾
Yeah mine came back after a year with no apology, no accountability no nothing. He acted like he had no idea what happened between us and was trying to reconnect . As if I would forget the cheating, gaslighting, Belittling, ghosting man the list goes on. He said if his communication was something I didn’t want to just ignore him and he’d go away. I ignored his text and blocked him once again. Pretty sure I saved myself from a life-time of misery. Never give them a second chance
stay safe
@@MentalHealness thank u
Lee I made it 8 months NO CONTACT after he freed me!!! I'm still partying!!!🍺🍹🍻🥂
i have been on survival mode all my life, if love doesn't feel peace with him, he ain't something you have to wait for. god already has a plan for you and that is peace, self love ,self esteem, good music,good pictures,good food.
The part where you talk about the narcissist demoting someone is
HI LA RI OUS !!!
The thirty cents short of a quarter guy who had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to offer, the nerve! 👀trying to demote someone with his negative zero low vibrational self….
I discarded him and will NEVER GO BACK… he wasn’t worth two nickels rubbed together ! Especially now that I know better, 🌺
🙌🏾💪🏽
I didn't know what NPD was until about 12 months ago. I am really ticked off at myself for letting that crap happen to me. they should teach this stuff in schools. No one deserves this stuff happen to them.
RIGHT I THINK IT'S GETTING OUT NOW BUT MOST FIND IT HATD TO BELIEVE SOO SAID PERSON JUST HAS TO EXPERIENCE IT SOO SAD 😢. JESUS CHRIST IS OUR COVERING FOR THE LOST IN HEART. IF WE JUST TURN TO HIM WE WOULD BE ABLE TO SPOT THEM OUT.
Needed to hear this. He reached out today and I quickly shut it down.
💪🏽
Block them in every way shape and form.
He would always say that I was his. 🤨 I'm positive he feels he can come since I've allowed it in the past. Whatever spell I was under before is gone. He's blocked and I am determined to keep it that way.
Good for you hun! 💪🏼
I remember a time when I almost married a narcissist. He married the woman he cheated on me. He would text me and email me years after our relationship. I blocked him in every form. I'm glad he doesn't know where I live. You were so funny with "we can be friends" lol
Are you sure that he wouldn't be able to search you online to find your address? I Googled myself and was horrified at how easy it was to find my home address (I don't own) as well as info on my parents and others who're connected to me. I started filling out requests to get my info removed from the sites. I purposely moved to prepaid with Verizon after I changed my number as to not be under contract and not be traceable that way. I just wanted to mention that to you so that you can check into it for yourself.
@@brwnserenity2351
That’s scary. I’m gonna try to see what people can google on me
@@brwnserenity2351
Omg 😳
@dsmusicbird That's the exact same face that I made when I found the info. Lol. But, yes, please search yourself. Make sure that you search in multiple ways like: First Name Last Name, First Name Middle Name (or Initial) Last Name. Even do it to where you search your name in ways with the state or states that you've lived in included, like: First Name Last Name State. Do every variation that you can think of.
@@brwnserenity2351 Thank you for the information!
Cos you are important. No one takes care of them the way you do.
🙌🏾
And no1 ever will 😂
You're definitely not imported to a narcissist otherwise they wouldn't abuse you in thr the first place!
Its the temperature check. Checking to see if you're good without them or missing them. This happened to me, narc showed up at a church event months after the discard. So weird, he still had my #...why. Because I didn't give him attention he thrn text me right while we're in the same space..tried talking with my mom too...what the hell. I ignored him. I mean, it was like a child. I never told him when I'm done, I'm DONE! He married someone else 4 mos later. Going backwards is what he did..bless her.
First time he "discarded" me, I didn't know what was going on so when he came back I gave him another chance. But this time, I realized what was going on again...and I discarded him( broke up with him).
What if you discard them?? I’d love to see a video on what happens once you disappear and go no contact. So grateful for you Lee!! ❤🙏🏽
There’s videos on that.
Make sure you lock doors
Don't like at all... Also, make sure to have strong boundaries because they'll soon try and turn everyone against you...
You'll also (I have the experience at work of this) have the pleasure (not) if them trying constantly to hoover you back (each time their behavior becoming worse and worse) as well as them suddenly being nice, intimidating, rude and even scared of you at a whim (sometimes can even happen in one day)
They will either stay away completely because of a narcissistic injury or they will bide their time and come back eventually. I caused a narcissistic injury, so 22 days no contact and no word.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
You are speaking facts because my ex reached out about six years and I was like are you sick I stated I have zero desire
I did discard it took me a year of planning 🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
♥️💪🏽
All
Of us good people need a website ❤❤❤❤❤
Mine came back and got mad I wasn't waiting for him he discarded me again. Hurts!
Hilarius! Lol they do that..... há há há yep to much hurt hahahaha
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I let mine see me with someone else. He should know to get the heck on now.
Sick of the sick cycle
🫠🫠 STAY SAFE
@@MentalHealnessor we might be the next Nicole Simpson 😉
You are so accurate I can relate to this video. Thank you for sharing
you’re welcome
I met someone like you and it blew my mind. You guys are real life superheros. I know how difficult it is for you to record a video on youtube and admit this, being afraid to get judged. You are a superhero. Continue what you are doing. Non narcissist can learn a lot from you.
Mine said he “couldn’t do this anymore” via a text message and blocked me. I had felt it coming since we had spent a nice night together and he had been more emotional, I knew he would then pull away after as that was the pattern
Five days later he unblocked me and had contacted me and when I gave it a couple days and then wrote back(I know), he ignored me for a couple days and then called me
When we spoke on the phone, he told me (one of the first things out of his mouth) was that he has been seeing other people
I didn’t react as (I could be wrong) but thought he was just trying to hurt me in this moment (again)
Then after I ignored that he told me he loved me etc
Finally he later admitted he wasn’t ignoring me on purpose when he didn’t respond right away and that wasn’t his intention
But ultimately the same cycle would continue. I would feel like things were getting better, he would have these deep “epiphany type realizations” as I would just listen to him almost talk to himself and his view on women, he admitted he treated his ex bad, he told me he probably would marry me one day, etc
He would go on and on. I would say love you and we would part ways as we didn’t live together and then I feel like he would start playing games again,
Making plans with me that he intended to ruin (which he did in the very beginning after our first date)
It literally felt like the same thing was happening over and over again, I haven’t talked to him since the last most horrible incident where he embarrassed me in front of his friends and left me
Of course I was on the floor crying and I told him if he walked out that was it to which he said “if you want to be done we can be done”, gave me that smirk and said “don’t do anything crazy”, told me I love you but I have to go and shut my door
I never talked to him again but he still tries to contact me, now he got a new number and keeps trying to text saying hey it’s *** even though he already told
me who it was when he tried to text me initially off that number
I did truly love this man, even more than he loves himself, and I do often have thoughts like if I die tomorrow I just want him to know x,y,z.. I just want to express my feelings I’m very emotional like that
But I’ve learned not to take this whole situation personally but also just to understand (and accept?) that this is who he is and this is what he does because he’s sick or not happy with himself
There’s nothing I can do to fix him and he has told me that. He has told me he knows he has a problem. On our first date he proudly exclaimed to me that he has a lot of things inside of him that he needs to release and he doesn’t do it in the healthiest ways
I tried to help him, be there for him, answer his calls even though he hadn’t done right to me, I tried to keep him in my life as my love, but then he would say hurtful things that were very cold which is always the hardest for me to hear, minimize me etc.
It’s a very hard cycle to have gone through.
Whoa!!!!
I didn't catch amnesia
I am literally going through something VERYYYY similar with my ex right now. It’s so exhausting. I wish this trauma bond would break already 😢 I hope everything worked out for you and you’re finally living happily.
Thank you Lee 🙏
Appreciate your help and hope God blesses you your family 😭🙏🏼
Happy to help
It was because of these videos that has educated me.
Yea mine just wanted MONEY and CONTROL all because I freed myself and walked away !!! So I guess he was mad that he didn’t finish the job of destroying me!!! But this makes sense !
Really good term there : loyalty … once you figure out who they are most loyal to & it’s not you - leave asap. It’s not gonna change. The only time I’ve seen that change is after being years together. And most of the time it’s because their old & need you to take care of their ass.
My circumstance it’s ridiculous . He literally stands outside my grandma house .
Then he’s stalking. Stay safe
@@Adammeah253 🫣
😄
GOD bless you my brother
Lee you could literally do a mini series on my relationship with my Ex Wife. I mean every upload of yours i watch im like. Yup. Been through it. She didn't bank on my resisting her BS trying to literally destroy me. I fought back like Master Jedi Luke Skywalker in the Mandalorian. Rebuilt my life better. Thank you for enlightening us all. Really appreciate your work
.
Nice job Luke!
I went through the same w Darth Vader the now ex hub.
I became
JoJoda the Dhjedi Essene and took my universe back.
If space invaders attempt a sneak attack, stalk or hoover....
Dumbass they are!
@@theforensicbadass thanks for your input.
I dated a covert malignant narcissist after my Bipolar husband (narc traits), he mirrored me, then I realized my spouses ex wife was one. I used to joke look she becomes everyone she dates, likes everything they do. She mirrored me, the new wife went to Cancun after we did, had a baby after I did, literally he was born, the next couple weeks she was pregnant, I bought a black Mercedes, her the same one red. It was like that movie Single White Female.
Lee. What made you get help and how did you feel when you were diagnosed. What made you decide to go through treatment. You're EXTREMELY amazing.
Wondering same
"What does this dude do for a living?" Women who let him do them. That's how a lot of narcissists get money. It's one thing if you don't know about it and initially, a lot of us don't. But, three woman fighting over a loser? That's a head-scratcher. Narcissists aren't whole people anyway so it's like fighting for a slice of a slice of a slice of what's left, which is close to nothing.
After almost 4 years my narc is trying to be friendly with me. He even apologized for everything that he went down. This hit so close to home because he's unhappily married. Telling me how he still loves me and I'm the only one he's ever loved...blah blah bs. All I hear is him complaining about his wife. Idk what he wants from me. I told him go work it out with his wife.
Literally same thing for me but after 7 years and he’s married unhappily with 2 kids.
I can accept when a narcissist discard me but can't cope with the constant bitching and criticism.
YES. WHY LMAO why won’t he leave me tf alone. Despite having kids together. After he has moved on, the cheating, ALL THE LIES !!!!!!!!!! lmfao 🤣 o m g ‼️‼️ This is so insightful, but the more I watch narcissists videos, I STILL don’t understand the narcissist mindset 😭😭 I will never get it lmao sooo beyond childish and soo many games. Ugh I am TIRED of dealing with this & I have to forever smfh 🤦🏽♀️👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽
😩😩
Don't have to. Go grey rock boring 🙂😂
OMG so much talking about those creepy guys!
creepy guys?
I have a sticker on my water bottle. I have a tank top. And I am going to get the journal!!
They do..they never want you to do....that part...its crazy making
No talking just stalking
Ahh lee i hate dealing with these people
Mines making it extremely hard for me to move on
He thinks because he knows my cousin, that give him a reason of contact to me. ( I AM EVICTED SUPPLY) I had no reason to go back. Asking my cousin " does she has facebook" Nope, and i dont want it. HAPPY AND FREE AS A BIRD FLYING OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN IN California LOL
Lee I swear he just sent me an email asking to come over SMH 🙄 Of course I'm not answering!!! I met a wonderful guy and I'm moving on but..I had to say your right on time once again 😅
My fiancé decided 8 months ago randomly after we had sex that he just wanted to be friends but said that even if I find someone else, he’s still having sex with me and I’m still his. Asked me if that would be something I was into and that I would be okay with that. The things that he had said to me, unreal. I know for a FACT it would kill him to see me with someone else. He would NEVER allow that. It was just to set me off and provoke me.
Never! Come back ! Never !
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Noooo i told my husband beat it! I dont operate like that
Mine was in shock when I kicked him out.i had his clothes pack and acted like he was upset.give me a break
This is absolutely true I have been told that I am being owned by a certain gentleman he says I own you you are mine and he means that . though I have not even talked to him in several years but he is coming back around I know he is I've had messages. Ps you are kind of funny
I told him by text that i didn’t want nothing to do with a person that ignores me and then boum who came knocking on my door the next day hiiimmm so i let him in and he spends so much time with me but the emotional attachment is gone he is so cold doesn’t even talk sometimes its scary feel like he hates u and is there only for is own interest. But i keep playing the game by beeing generous making food for him even if hes mean to me most of the time . Its not normal to be that way why isn’t he just happy and appreciates my company?
Oh my! I have been demoted from partner big time. After 8 years, he is moving over 2 hours away to live with his ex-wife because he says he needs to take a step back from us, hoping it will make things better for us.
Oh and just to clarify, he wants to still be with me for the kids and stay here regularly. So demoted to mistress.
Lord, how did I know before he even started talking "when you move on"
He says to me its just a matter of time before we dont talk to each other again but its him that’s starts the ghosting most of the time . Is that gaslighting? Or even he trys to make me mad most of the time by treating me like if i was shit and then says its how you feel not me iam doing nothing try to work on your self . Small things like bullying softly and making it seem like i was the crazy one that’s mad for nothing
My ex discarded me and has a new supply but still texts me that he misses me as a friend. I just don't care anymore. I do not respond. He says I'm his best friend 😂
🙃🙃
Block him he is keeping you on the shelf. He certainly does not respect you and he wants to see if you are "stupid" to let him in again. Until he has access to you he thinks you are his property ( toaster) and he certainly despises you. But he will not tell you that. Once he is in again, he will show you what he really thinks of you in his discard... Be smart, stay invincible!
@NMT Delightful Music he is blocked now. I did not have him blocked on my phone at first because he owed me money. He actually paid me back after 3 months. So no need to be in contact with anymore. He is blocked everywhere.
@@stacy7990 YES!!!! But you will see creativity in hoovers in the years coming :))) Just laugh at it as I am laughing (25 years) 😅🤣😅🤣😅
Doesn’t even say im pretty like before everything i do is negative but in reality its him
I walked after seven years I kept going back but not now he’s a knocking but I’m not answering not now
Like act like they OWN you and this makes a codependent feel special
What if you break up with them and they come back, and what to do
Why do the narcissist come back after the victim discard the narcissist? Is my question Lee
To keep you around and see what you have and how much he can benefit off it.
They are oppressed by evil spirits and they don't have any other things to do in life but use. Turn to Jesus Christ and pray for wisdom and healing and the power of God will save you 🙏🏽💕🙏🏽. Pastor Kevin la Ewing has great videos on this
I’ve been no contact for years . But my ex narc still keeps trying to get information about me through friends and family members. I say block them I’m not interested. Even though he’s been in other relationships .
🥺🥺
4:20 this had me😂,, unfortunately it is so true tho
mine doesnt come back so far, 2 months plus already. he only liked ma old youtube comments 5 days after everything ended and i dont think he'll contact me cuz i blocked him everywhere but yep, he created his main old supply to look like me in appearance head to toes
i am disgusted at the thought of my ex
Lee, what if they went silent on you? Like, I have tried to talk to him a couple times and he never answers. After everything I have read and everything that I have researched, he has classic narcissistic personality disorder, but he doesn't hoover. I must have really gotten to him. He must truly hate me.
My NEX had a habit of coming back all chill like nothing happened when I or other women tried or succeeded in dumping him. It's so weird. Is this a common tactic when you get rid of them? Act like it didn't happen?
Yes all the time. Jesus Christ is the only way out please turn to him 💞🙏🏽💕.
Pastor Kevin la Ewing is a good one on these people
Same here! The guy I dated dumped me but left the door opened so I finally went no contact with him and he came back 4 days later being super nice as if nothing happened even I told him I don't want to see him
What happen when you discard them?
I didn't follow no contact and I begged badly...will he come back?:)
This Guy is in complete control of his emotions doesn’t flinch an eye nothing like a rock and says openly that he doesn’t give a shit about me its annoying and frustrating sometimes but i play the game like hes the best and it seems like working but its like walking on eggshells everyday
They dont always come back there is a reason they discarded you they dont want you . I have never had one come back
some dont come back
A lot of them do tho
Im worried bout this. Been 4mos after an 8yr relationship. Shes a covert narc. Now bashing me on social media. Scary
😫😫
Creepy people I'm gonna press charges this demon comes near me..
Want to write a book ❤
🙌🏾
YES 👍🙌🙌🙌👍.
WE NEED JESUS CHRIST 🙏🏽💕👌😘
Thank you so much I didn't know that I'm dealing with a narcissist he left me pregnant and stayed with someone else and got married but he kept coming to me ,to have sex with me the marriage lasted 2yrs then he came back, and moved in with me just for 7 months now he left me after I lost my job , he move in with a new lady he's not talking to me now I've been begging him come to me crying, but he doesn't,he said to me he won't leave me but he left he's not texting me he doesn't take care of his child
You deserve waaaay better than that
Don't beg .that's what he wants.dont do it.turn the tables.show him your ok without him in your life.i know it's hard but don't beg because he wants that
@@shanieceshelby thank you so much that's what I'm going to do from now
@@maureenngema769 yayyyyy .good.🙂🙂🙂he won't see it coming lol
watch narcissistic videos, you have to learn a lot....
Ay she was breadcrumbing me so I blocked her on everything, but do want her to try to come back and change back to how she was, and I don’t want to see her with another guy.😨am I a narcissist!!!!!!??????.seriously pls answer pleas
No you're not... You're trama bonded... Her leaving hurt your ego.. been there.. wanting her to want to come back would help your ego... It's the heart and mind not syncing up yet .. don't worry... It will happen.. then you'll look forward to it so you can deny her . That version of her you remember in the beginning wasn't really her.... It was an act to get the meat hooks in you... Trust me... Been here .. is a carrot on a stick... Goalposts forever moving forward...
What if he found a perfect new supply? Would they want to come back after a while too?
what is the perfect supply?
@@MentalHealness My therapist told me that he’s happy with his new supply “for now” because she isn’t challenging him. He doesn’t have to “change” for her & she doesn’t see any fault in him so she’s making him look & feel good. Which makes her the “perfect supply”. Would you agree?
@@MentalHealnessI think the perfect supply is the one he seems to be so in love with and so happy..
nothing is perfect for a Narc apart from themselves. lmao
@@pamelalisboa1984 I’m questioning whether he truly is a narcissist. If he is, he’s a covert one.
2:00 😶
So he discarded me and blocked me, but he'll try to return?🤔
Yes for sure! Just for use and abuse...... remember they dont share love they share pain...... go for chanting mantras its wonderful give a try.
@@lourivalchavezbatista5344 wow..that's crazy. He literally blamed me for something he did and tried to flip it back on me and blocked me on social media and phone. It's been about a week now. There's never any accountability or resolution unless you're taking the blame.
perhaps
@@MentalHealness that's crazy
@@lovelock1994 well welcome to the club !!!! If you are really really smart say thanks for the universe!!! But...... well you are in love bad bad Love..........if you dont pick yourself up he are going to give you the hardest time of your life..... and that is not a joke! They are cruel like hell
I was just discarded because I didn’t respond to his Black reparations and BLM stuff.Been telling him I don’t know much about it.I’m Asian.so petty!Well, I make 4x more than him.His LOSS! I’m freeeee!
yeah going through a dicard now, she is sleeping around with alot of men, why do they do this? might be an addiction, but i take it that she has to be with so many men just to get an ounce of what supply i gave to her.
😂why do I always get the narc
🙃
Anyways i know what to do if he ghost me again i wont bother to go running after him im done with that anyways he doesn’t even cuddle when we sleep no more and the sex feels less fun am starting to lose feelings. Feels completely like an OBJECT that cooks and is there to satisfies his every needs im a slave !
He discarded me and disappeared for over a year, didn't bother seeing our daughter (so peaceful) then he came back and the battle of the lawyers started and its been hell. He take me to court all the time. , he has it all, yet keeps fighting me literally every week about parenting, or any stupid thing. He kicked me and my daughter out of the matrimonial home, emptied everything out left nothing for me. B4 that he devalued and damaged the house. Court is slow and useless.
He has a psyco lawyer, who does anything for money, she gaslights every story and is super aggressive making up stories about me, not true at all. You don't have much time infornt of a judge and she always gets her way lying and then smerking.
My ex narc husband secrete illegal wife is his biggest flying monkey.... like is she blind to all this abuse his doing to me. She only getting everything cuz of me, the house the stuff and a ready Made child. I Wish God gives them their Karma really soon Ameen
I feel sooo oppressed and helpless
JESUS CHRIST IS WITH YOU OKAY 👍 TURN TO HIM HE WILL GUIDE YOU AND SHOW YOU WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON. IT'S NOT YOU, HE
YOUR EX IS THE EVIL ONE BUT EVEN HE IS BEING USED BY EVIL SPIRIT'S. TRY PASTOR LA EWING IT WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING GOD BLESS YOU 🙏🏽 AND I PRAY FOR GOD'S PEACE THAT SURPASSES MAN'S UNDERSTANDING
Praying for you 🙏🏿💗💗💓💗💕💓💗💕
I am your FAVORITE (self-aware) narcissist. I love it. Self aware but still narcissistic as fuck.
That’s not even on topic, are you trying to put Lee down?
@@Jackmcars12 how is that putting him down ?
@@annamaegold still narcissistic AF
@@Jackmcars12 and how is that putting him down? That's how he self identifies.
7:25 XDD
😅😅
📍
2023/Sep/21
Is Lee still with is wife?
💯‼️
They always come back. Can't wait to get you back so they can go cheat. 😢
😮💨
Wtf!
🚪🚪🚪🎉
Bwahahaha....narcassist air force....lolololol
I was demoted from Girlfriend to “Life Fixer”. I declined.
🙌🏾🙌🏾