Every parent at Disney

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  • Опубліковано 29 лип 2018
  • "Get over here by the count of three or I will spank you into Tomorrowland!" John Crist is every parent at Disney.
    John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristcomedy.com
    Follow John:
    / johnbcrist
    / johnbcrist
    / johnbcrist
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 10 тис.

  • @sarrinahjawed7047
    @sarrinahjawed7047 4 роки тому +19761

    “Baby you want these or you wanna go to college?”
    Dad is that you?????

    • @anhtran0812
      @anhtran0812 4 роки тому +17

      Bluequeenzie 101 same lmao

    • @TheColorOfCaramel
      @TheColorOfCaramel 4 роки тому +67

      But that is SO true...you literally need $250 JUST to buy food AND merchandise!
      ...and don't act like you want to go to Universal Studios the next day, it was $189 dollars to get in about 5 years back, no telling how much it is NOW.

    • @gosulanre6669
      @gosulanre6669 4 роки тому +4

      @Kaya Beautymantra what did you pick?

    • @klingon1064
      @klingon1064 4 роки тому +9

      goofy shape chicken nuggets do sounds dop tho

    • @MysticOceanDollies
      @MysticOceanDollies 4 роки тому +3

      TheColorOfCaramel Universal merch is even more expensive than Disney, and a water bottle was $8 the last time I was there.

  • @mia7639
    @mia7639 4 роки тому +16606

    “$45 for a pair of bedazzled mouse ears??”
    “Do you want these or do you want to go to college?”
    I’m deaddddd😂😂😂

    • @macias7125
      @macias7125 4 роки тому +125

      I would’ve chosen the ears 😂😂😂😂

    • @STMARTIN009
      @STMARTIN009 4 роки тому +87

      Choose the ears you will get more bang for you buck than a $100,000 liberal arts degree

    • @tworpish
      @tworpish 4 роки тому +25

      @@STMARTIN009 when you bring politics into literally anything.

    • @Kahoobb
      @Kahoobb 4 роки тому +38

      @@tworpish how is that politics if it's a college degree lol

    • @katem.3677
      @katem.3677 4 роки тому +13

      @@macias7125 Eff that I got some (actually well-made) knock-off ears for 12 bucks at a convenience store near my hotel. And you can get last years ears at a Disney outlet for 8 bucks.

  • @AndreasAntics
    @AndreasAntics 3 роки тому +1327

    “Quit being tired. You’re at Disney. You can sleep when you get home.” - my grandmama

    • @vbgvbg1133
      @vbgvbg1133 2 роки тому +12

      @@jamesluis1767 my man... this is publicly viewable, everyone can see you

    • @Feral_cockroach121
      @Feral_cockroach121 2 роки тому +5

      @@jamesluis1767 ..Tf-

  • @MegatronEnthusiast
    @MegatronEnthusiast 3 роки тому +571

    “Pick up your garbage this isn’t Six Flags”
    That sentence made me laugh so much

    • @karenjones6135
      @karenjones6135 3 роки тому +12

      It's soooo true!

    • @WolfRaging95
      @WolfRaging95 2 роки тому +11

      “Cleanest Theme Park In The World.”

    • @Adam-xo7cv
      @Adam-xo7cv 2 роки тому +12

      I made the mistake of going to Six Flags the day after going to Disneyland. Whatever Disney charges for admission is absolutely worth it. I'll never pay the $39 to get into Six Flags again.

    • @dlg.studios5649
      @dlg.studios5649 2 роки тому +2

      I laughed too! 🤣🤣

    • @flobrez2470
      @flobrez2470 2 роки тому +3

      Six flags where I live is in the worst part of town. I would never go there much less bring children.

  • @greeneggsham6882
    @greeneggsham6882 4 роки тому +7071

    "Mommy, why is that man shouting orders at nobody?"
    "I dont know, Johnny. I dont know."

    • @BSH1833
      @BSH1833 4 роки тому +30

      Lol

    • @HoneyBunches100
      @HoneyBunches100 3 роки тому +49

      So millions of people on UA-cam can laugh 😉

    • @xxfoxbiasxx2259
      @xxfoxbiasxx2259 3 роки тому +16

      Lmao I just thought of that 😂😂😂

    • @GS_PlayzFN
      @GS_PlayzFN 3 роки тому +5

      how many subs can I get from this comment
      Current subs: 3,738

    • @Evan-hz1dc
      @Evan-hz1dc 3 роки тому

      @@GS_PlayzFN hello

  • @nenecheese1179
    @nenecheese1179 4 роки тому +14451

    "make believe your feet aren't sore"
    "this is disney use your imagination"
    *chokes*

  • @harryjohns18
    @harryjohns18 3 роки тому +159

    props to this guy who did this in a real disney park

    • @luigikungfu0880
      @luigikungfu0880 2 роки тому +9

      My guy is making himself seem crazy for content. Indeed, props.

  • @elijahsimmons2245
    @elijahsimmons2245 3 роки тому +226

    “Oh you wanna go to Its A Small World all by yourself? It’s gonna turn into a pretty big world when you come out and can’t find your parents”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @megandelamar6194
    @megandelamar6194 5 років тому +14397

    "You know what I wanna ride? A park bench in the shade." Never heard that one but I am stealing it. lmfao

    • @TheDiva4361
      @TheDiva4361 5 років тому +52

      That's where I go as soon as I get something to drink!!!

    • @josed6739
      @josed6739 5 років тому +93

      @Toori Baba disgusting

    • @jysampson672
      @jysampson672 5 років тому +39

      Jose Avendano Disgustingly awesome play of words is what you meant to say my good sir

    • @needymashups5745
      @needymashups5745 5 років тому +2

      Toori Baba 😹

    • @noodol6070
      @noodol6070 5 років тому +2

      @Toori Baba lmfao

  • @jenniferl.8111
    @jenniferl.8111 3 роки тому +21538

    Imagine tourists just seeing this man talking to his invisible children.

    • @abigailalley2290
      @abigailalley2290 3 роки тому +187

      I was looking for this comment

    • @usefulchickens
      @usefulchickens 3 роки тому +100

      how awkward 😭

    • @billyhenerson2871
      @billyhenerson2871 3 роки тому +244

      I don't think anyone would be paying attention, since it's complete chaos with way too much going on.

    • @duhh.romana
      @duhh.romana 3 роки тому +29

      They be like: o.0

    • @grapjai9452
      @grapjai9452 3 роки тому +118

      it be like ... it's disney, use your imagination

  • @johnharris6655
    @johnharris6655 3 роки тому +382

    My wife and I went to Disneyland without our kids, they are both married and out of the house. But it was hard not to laugh at the parents with kids with one on a leash and one in a stroller, thinking back to those days. But the stroller parking outside of the Pinocchio ride looked like a traffic jam on I-5.

    • @doughesson
      @doughesson 2 роки тому +11

      You didn't ask anyone with a kid on a leash,"Is he a pound rescue?"

    • @wotan10950
      @wotan10950 2 роки тому +13

      Don’t laugh, but I used a leash too, and I’m glad I did. I was a single parent back then, with two kids, and one of them would constantly run off. I wasn’t going to take a chance with 50,000 people.

    • @johnharris6655
      @johnharris6655 2 роки тому +1

      @@wotan10950 I did the same thing.

    • @celinevanruyskensvelde7448
      @celinevanruyskensvelde7448 Рік тому +2

      My parents one time when we were visiting our grandparents in Florida: we’re going to Disney World!
      Me and brother: yaaay
      Dad: no, WE are. Ya’ll have a nice day with Meme and Pepe (grandparents nick names) 🤣
      I was so angry. Now as a 31 year old I do not blame them one damn bit for going once without us lol.

    • @patriciagodfrey6345
      @patriciagodfrey6345 9 місяців тому +1

      @@doughesson Be thankful any child is on a leash. I was a "bolter" and my parents put me on a leash, our of sheer frustration. Years later, in 1st grade, the discovery was made that I was legally blind. That could have been unfortunate for any driver. * splat * (Unfortunate for me too.)

  • @devinleek5685
    @devinleek5685 3 роки тому +113

    0:19 I love how tigger just runs up to him and he just says " Absolutely Not, Absolutely Not" 😂

  • @thanoswife1254
    @thanoswife1254 5 років тому +8536

    “It’s too early to get wet” He captures what a parent is exactly like at amusement parks.

    • @Alyssa-gw7tb
      @Alyssa-gw7tb 5 років тому +66

      My mom when we go to a water park😂😂

    • @xleemeowx
      @xleemeowx 5 років тому +12

      so true

    • @spongebob4926
      @spongebob4926 5 років тому +13

      Thanos' wife Akima yeah I went on a. Ride at night it’s better getting wet early I got soaked as the park closed so I went like that in the car and when I got to the hotel I was still soaked

    • @thanoswife1254
      @thanoswife1254 5 років тому +13

      @@spongebob4926 yeah, I think I get it now, my mom would say it's too early to get wet and I think it's because we were little kids and she didn't want us whining the whole time if we go wet before the whole park because there's bound to be other rides that would get us wet

    • @spongebob4926
      @spongebob4926 5 років тому +5

      Thanos' wife Akima but we can get fried easily walking around and all the wind on rides

  • @user-tz6wx3mp6k
    @user-tz6wx3mp6k 5 років тому +20353

    $45 for bedazzled mouse ears? baby, you want these or you wanna go to college?
    I DIED

    • @boxybox100
      @boxybox100 5 років тому +134

      Rest in peace 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
      1 like = 1 prayer

    • @CheeseBaller948
      @CheeseBaller948 5 років тому +12

      hina kobayashi I died on the inside. But nothing happened

    • @carolinherrmann6311
      @carolinherrmann6311 5 років тому +89

      Are those ears really that expensive in the us ?

    • @CheeseBaller948
      @CheeseBaller948 5 років тому +70

      Emilie Ozwin yeah they actually are lol you can go to a Walmart and get them for 5 dollars

    • @carolinherrmann6311
      @carolinherrmann6311 5 років тому +24

      @@CheeseBaller948 nice to know. We were at Disneyland Paris, where you pay in Euro but I think that would have been around 10 $

  • @MargoB
    @MargoB Рік тому +31

    "If you don't get back here by the count of three I will spank you into Tomorrowland!". 😂😂

  • @abigailjulia5518
    @abigailjulia5518 3 роки тому +63

    “All my homeschool kids want to do is visit the hall of presidents”😂😂

    • @shakira1702
      @shakira1702 9 місяців тому +1

      He's not wrong. I went to Disney with my cousins, who were homeschooled as children;the Hall of Presidents and Tomorrowland was what they wanted to do. I never knew these "rides" existed until that day.😁

  • @xatrix-_-1796
    @xatrix-_-1796 5 років тому +6977

    “That dream to meet Elsa,
    You better ‘Let it go’” XD

    • @axko984
      @axko984 5 років тому +7

      Xatrix plays XD

    • @jimmylander2089
      @jimmylander2089 5 років тому +18

      You’re literally thanking people for finding the joke from the video funny...

    • @xatrix-_-1796
      @xatrix-_-1796 5 років тому +4

      Jimmy Lander that’s absolutely correct 👏

    • @bootsandcatswall2349
      @bootsandcatswall2349 5 років тому +3

      u now have 1.7K UwU

    • @gloriaregali9090
      @gloriaregali9090 5 років тому

      Bruh, why spoiling a comm?

  • @ogattens
    @ogattens 5 років тому +25712

    “Absolutely not, absolutely not...”
    *Tigger ominously jogs up to you*

  • @smallsavage1297
    @smallsavage1297 Рік тому +14

    “Now my wife wants a photo with Gaston; PERFECT.” IM WHEEZING

  • @MarvinClarence
    @MarvinClarence 3 роки тому +41

    ‘Come on, hurry up, your feet aren’t sore, use your imagination’
    Ten seconds later: ‘I want to ride a park bench in the shade’
    A few moments later: ‘I gotta fake a leg injury or something, I need one of those scooters’

  • @izzyb6099
    @izzyb6099 5 років тому +10159

    Oh GREAT now my wife wants a picture with Gaston. PERFECT.

    • @breannaschaefer5618
      @breannaschaefer5618 5 років тому +129

      I actually read this when he said it 😂

    • @izzyb6099
      @izzyb6099 5 років тому +12

      breanna schaefer Haha!😂

    • @shannonbeeman8722
      @shannonbeeman8722 5 років тому +18

      That line is my favorite! Lol!!

    • @hayleyscomet3447
      @hayleyscomet3447 5 років тому +36

      Izzy B the country accent makes these lines 10 times funnier.

    • @supernana7263
      @supernana7263 5 років тому +40

      Duds ain't gonna get his wife back from that ripped beast of a man😂

  • @charlie..mackeyy
    @charlie..mackeyy 4 роки тому +11158

    *tigger runs up*
    john: AbSolUteLy nOt AbSolUteLy nOt

    • @keddrickjamaal
      @keddrickjamaal 4 роки тому +118

      This is the comment I was looking for LMAO

    • @lukeprescott8471
      @lukeprescott8471 4 роки тому +158

      I feel so sorry for the guy in the costume 😂

    • @ozzie6141
      @ozzie6141 4 роки тому +77

      I freaking loved this part xD

    • @fatimabatool4442
      @fatimabatool4442 4 роки тому +48

      @@lukeprescott8471 He's SO CUTE!! the Tigger guy!

    • @jones848
      @jones848 4 роки тому +23

      That was the best bit

  • @Asteroid44yay
    @Asteroid44yay 3 роки тому +74

    His accent makes it so much better

    • @IzzyNChrist
      @IzzyNChrist 3 роки тому +11

      lol he sounds like every annoyed southern parent

    • @marlenalinne7958
      @marlenalinne7958 2 роки тому +3

      He sounds like Todd Chrisley. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @DevinMillarDM
    @DevinMillarDM Рік тому +10

    This is what ASMR should be about.

  • @natalyawitkowski702
    @natalyawitkowski702 5 років тому +22556

    “Your mother brought ham sandwiches”
    If that ain’t a mood...

    • @temavero2124
      @temavero2124 5 років тому +688

      Next level of "we have food at home" meme

    • @thelastcube.
      @thelastcube. 5 років тому +302

      Story of my life, if possible my parents would try their best to bring lunch boxes even in airplanes

    • @glens2019
      @glens2019 5 років тому +143

      I hear Disneyland food is hella expensive.

    • @natalyawitkowski702
      @natalyawitkowski702 5 років тому +153

      @glens Yeah it is, but it’s worth it. I only know this because my grandma actually loves me and got me a pretzel

    • @torimack3884
      @torimack3884 5 років тому +15

      Costco ham

  • @mazvitaselemani
    @mazvitaselemani 4 роки тому +11009

    *"A 4 hour wait for toy story? That line is to infinity and beyond"*

    • @omensoffate
      @omensoffate 4 роки тому +11

      That doesn’t make any sense

    • @itz.deonnn9620
      @itz.deonnn9620 4 роки тому +9

      haha

    • @itz.deonnn9620
      @itz.deonnn9620 4 роки тому +80

      omensoffate it does.

    • @volt7162
      @volt7162 4 роки тому +20

      Just read it when he said it

    • @Naiobia
      @Naiobia 4 роки тому +26

      @@omensoffate It means the line never ends.

  • @erinstephany482
    @erinstephany482 Рік тому +8

    “Absolutely not. Absolutely not.”😂 I am wheezing

  • @zacurragazzo9432
    @zacurragazzo9432 3 роки тому +29

    As someone who was homeschooled, that homeschool line was extremely accurate 😂

  • @daud3659
    @daud3659 5 років тому +5688

    *I feel like we're going the wrong direction*
    Disney parks in a nutshell

    • @petlover0231
      @petlover0231 5 років тому +2

      Lol I love the profile name and pic

    • @evgenkhersonets880
      @evgenkhersonets880 5 років тому +2

      Paris Underground un a nutshell

    • @epicgamer-xy6yz
      @epicgamer-xy6yz 5 років тому +3

      hollywood studios map is the most cancerous thing on the planet

    • @legoghostyoda
      @legoghostyoda 4 роки тому +2

      epic gamer have you ever been to any six flags?

    • @pitigus76
      @pitigus76 4 роки тому +1

      there’s only ONE DIRECTION *1D* sorry

  • @desolatioxn
    @desolatioxn 5 років тому +28491

    “Baby you want these or you wanna go to college?”
    My mother said the EXACT same thing

  • @Jay_Park_
    @Jay_Park_ 3 роки тому +26

    “Well, hurry up. Make believe your feet aren’t sore. This is Disney. Use your imagination”

  • @wotan10950
    @wotan10950 2 роки тому +152

    True story: I took my two then-young kids to Disney as a single parent. My daughter spotted Sleeping Beauty giving autographs and pictures. She asked, “ooh, can I go too?” I said, “Sure!” Did I know that you had to sign up, line up, and wait?? No. So my kid runs up to Sleeping Beauty, and you woulda thought I just shot up a high school from the reactions of the other parents and employees. Yup, happiest place on earth.

    • @cristineconnell7803
      @cristineconnell7803 2 роки тому +14

      Lol, NOT! 😂🤣😂 Most stressed out place on earth in my experience!

    • @rodian_skypyratz6181
      @rodian_skypyratz6181 2 роки тому +10

      Her name is Princess Aurora, but yeah, that does sound crazy.

  • @reyneo6791
    @reyneo6791 3 роки тому +12327

    “A four hour wait for Toy Story, that line is to infinity and beyond.”
    This is peak comedy

    • @johnnyaces4290
      @johnnyaces4290 3 роки тому +35

      I'm almost having breathing problems laughing at that 😂

    • @johnnyaces4290
      @johnnyaces4290 3 роки тому +7

      @Railfan 765 good all good 😂

    • @galimgim
      @galimgim 3 роки тому +3

      hahahaha

    • @alyssagrace5092
      @alyssagrace5092 3 роки тому +5

      I read this as it was being said ahaha

    • @Bbb.anana6
      @Bbb.anana6 3 роки тому +4

      @@alyssagrace5092 same😂😂😂

  • @blucomet5248
    @blucomet5248 4 роки тому +19935

    “She’s not coming out today, that dream to meet Elsa you better Let It Go.” 😂

    • @fabianvanderelst9643
      @fabianvanderelst9643 4 роки тому +153

      I nose exhaled so much at this one 😆

    • @jookie4207
      @jookie4207 4 роки тому +111

      How did I not notice that pun? 🤦‍♂️

    • @el_matamuertes
      @el_matamuertes 3 роки тому +29

      That’s bars man 🔥🔥

    • @el_matamuertes
      @el_matamuertes 3 роки тому +10

      comment police imagine thinking you’re qualified enough to keep an eye on people’s comments and calling yourself "police" 🤡

    • @el_matamuertes
      @el_matamuertes 3 роки тому +3

      comment police ight bro imma keep peace, it wasn’t a paragraph tho, take care and have a good day 🙌🙌

  • @macandcheese8251
    @macandcheese8251 2 роки тому +13

    These are some of the best puns I've heard. Like, ever.

  • @RustyMew
    @RustyMew Рік тому +5

    0:19 Most relatable part of the video for me.

  • @morally_honey
    @morally_honey 5 років тому +5468

    "If you don't get back here by the count of 3, I will spank you into tomorrow land."
    Ahh. Family bonding time. 😂

    • @thatnamelessperson7887
      @thatnamelessperson7887 5 років тому +16

      i mean- i honestly really like tomorrow land lmao

    • @moonshinewolf4840
      @moonshinewolf4840 5 років тому +14

      That is literally the stuff my mom would say when I was little

    • @cuzcrewyeet
      @cuzcrewyeet 5 років тому +8

      1:40 lol I was at that part

    • @sugarrushnascarman1886
      @sugarrushnascarman1886 4 роки тому +4

      I really feel like killing people when I read it, idk why

    • @mysteryguy793
      @mysteryguy793 4 роки тому

      @@sugarrushnascarman1886 when you read what?

  • @pianorelaxing8330
    @pianorelaxing8330 5 років тому +20789

    The accent makes it all the more better😂

    • @garlicgirl3149
      @garlicgirl3149 5 років тому +47

      Right!

    • @piadylan1207
      @piadylan1207 5 років тому +75

      what accent is it ? (I don’t live in the states)

    • @pianorelaxing8330
      @pianorelaxing8330 5 років тому +205

      Pia TWD extra Southern😂

    • @garlicgirl3149
      @garlicgirl3149 5 років тому +113

      @@piadylan1207 Not just southern either. There are different southern accents. Deep South accents will sound different then regular south. They are different then Texas accents too.

    • @hayleyscomet3447
      @hayleyscomet3447 5 років тому +20

      Garlic Girl exactly. Like the fact that not everyone in arkansas sounds like that.

  • @markmarsh27
    @markmarsh27 2 роки тому +5

    "If you're wondering what it's like to go to Disney just imagine you're standing in line at the DMV .... And That's IT." -- Jim Gaffigan

  • @taylorx6037
    @taylorx6037 2 роки тому +17

    I went to Disney world when I was 10 years old and all I can remember is my dad complaining about how expensive everything was 😂😂 now that I’m an adult I can see why! 😂

    • @addie-eileenpaige6460
      @addie-eileenpaige6460 10 місяців тому +2

      I think Disney could slash their prices in HALF & STILL turn over a profit.

  • @ShortieRides3
    @ShortieRides3 4 роки тому +13378

    “It’s gonna turn into a pretty big world when you come out and can’t find your parents” 😂😂

  • @raelee1524
    @raelee1524 5 років тому +17679

    "Eat a baguette and lose a world war, that's my impression of France."
    Me: *dies in French*

  • @richsouthall1937
    @richsouthall1937 2 роки тому +7

    Every time I've gone to Disney in recent years; fighting the crowds, the lines, the pushing and shoving of humanity; every other Dad I looked at had the same look on his face; the look that says: "wouldn't you rather be watching a football game with a nice cold beer and some wings?" It was the sort of thing that was unspoken; yet obvious.

  • @Angie-GoneSoon
    @Angie-GoneSoon Рік тому +14

    Love that last line 🤣
    "I will spank you into Tomorrowland!" 😂

  • @auntiem873
    @auntiem873 5 років тому +8817

    You forgot the “Stop your whining, we paid for the privilege to stand in line at Disneyland.”

    • @auntiem873
      @auntiem873 5 років тому +62

      Alli Hicks - because most people call both parks Disneyland.
      Yes I know there is a difference but when speaking about Disney parks people just say Disneyland California or Florida.
      So I just say Disneyland. Also, it really doesn’t matter which location your at. These things happen in either park.

    • @prismthegoddess
      @prismthegoddess 5 років тому +8

      @@Ourstoryathogwarts I know there's Disney world and disney land but I've never been to either and then there's something in Idaho I think?
      ughhg idk

    • @jenniesswagglasses3264
      @jenniesswagglasses3264 5 років тому +16

      Alli Hicks because there’s only one Disney World and tons of Disney lands smh

    • @auntiem873
      @auntiem873 5 років тому +2

      Alli Hicks - at the beginning, he just says “The happiness Place on Earth”. That’s what Walt called Disneyland.
      But both parks are known as the Magic Kingdom.

    • @kylie42069
      @kylie42069 5 років тому +11

      Alli Hicks you must be fun at parties!

  • @luckyDancer100
    @luckyDancer100 4 роки тому +13342

    “You know what I wanna ride? A park bench in the shade.” 😂😂😂

    • @macharmza
      @macharmza 4 роки тому +90

      That one killed me

    • @cookieflavoredoreo4685
      @cookieflavoredoreo4685 4 роки тому +145

      You have all these wonderful hopes and dreams of riding awesome rides, but once you finally get on them you’re too busy just enjoying that fact that this is the first time you have sat down in 4 hours.

    • @kiyola9990
      @kiyola9990 4 роки тому +10

      Magnifurcent person I’m dying

    • @ghostlyme
      @ghostlyme 4 роки тому +3

      SAME 🙌

    • @sweetnsour3693
      @sweetnsour3693 4 роки тому +4

      “Your mom.”

  • @Jay-cu3rn
    @Jay-cu3rn Рік тому +2

    “Pick up your garbage and throw it away, this isn’t Six Flags” 😂

  • @DrTLEvans
    @DrTLEvans 3 роки тому +26

    Lol!! Nailed it 🤣 my kids were crying after we park hopped three parks in one day. Your feet are younger than mine. What do you mean they hurt 🙄🥴?
    Y’all better look at it all while you can. We are leaving Sunday morning. 😩🤣🙄🤣

  • @Joesy015
    @Joesy015 4 роки тому +8629

    *“That dream to meet Elsa, you better let it go”*

    • @idkhowtobreathe7710
      @idkhowtobreathe7710 4 роки тому +48

      •Murray• •HeleneJ• 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥

    • @jayak8217
      @jayak8217 4 роки тому +21

      🤣😂🤣 Didn't catch this one. I must have missed a lot because of the accent.

    • @sourangel0077
      @sourangel0077 4 роки тому +4

      •Murray• •HeleneJ• lmao😂😂

    • @danielwhyatt3278
      @danielwhyatt3278 4 роки тому +3

      And let the tears roll.😢😆

    • @ikkiduniya
      @ikkiduniya 4 роки тому

      •Murray• •HeleneJ• ua-cam.com/video/cJFSTV62rZY/v-deo.html

  • @240fxst
    @240fxst Рік тому +8

    The best dad ever!! Kids you will thank him later!! Thanks for your honest opinions!

  • @Tacmedic762
    @Tacmedic762 Рік тому +3

    “Eat a baguette and lose a World War. That’s my impression of France.” 💀😂 omg

  • @shannon_not_found
    @shannon_not_found 4 роки тому +4261

    "Sit down your mother brought ham sandwiches."
    That hit way too close to home

    • @gracesmelodys
      @gracesmelodys 3 роки тому +29

      @Railfan 765 Ya I had PB&J's on bad days and on good days she would buy us Lunchables, my favorite being the vanilla cookies. That shit was the best.

    • @samuelun4297
      @samuelun4297 3 роки тому +35

      For me it would be a bag of chips and sandwiches with water

    • @woozihae
      @woozihae 3 роки тому +2

      @Railfan 765 what does pb&j even taste like lol is it bad?

    • @ladybug-qh2sd
      @ladybug-qh2sd 3 роки тому +1

      @@samuelun4297 same 😑

    • @nyx186
      @nyx186 3 роки тому +4

      We packed tuna sandwiches in a cooler bag with frozen water bottles back in 2003 when my mom took my sister and me.

  • @danny-zi3vk
    @danny-zi3vk 3 роки тому +6873

    "You know what I want to ride? A park bench in the shade."
    Every dad ever.

    • @stephaniebea6073
      @stephaniebea6073 3 роки тому +59

      As a theme park parent, I vow to use this quote from here on.

    • @evatenberge5229
      @evatenberge5229 3 роки тому +11

      Damn I got to that part at the same time I was reading this

    • @danny-zi3vk
      @danny-zi3vk 3 роки тому +5

      @@evatenberge5229 Lol funny!

    • @jonquilgemstone
      @jonquilgemstone 3 роки тому +34

      My dad is an adrenaline junkie. Thankfully, one of my bros also likes the crazy rides, so they buddy up. My queasy mother sticks with the queazy brother, and my normal bro and I go on the normal rides.
      It's as if God divied us into a natural buddy system.

    • @monkeybanana3635
      @monkeybanana3635 3 роки тому +2

      And me

  • @furretlikespizza8073
    @furretlikespizza8073 3 роки тому +35

    Moral of the story: don’t go with your parents

  • @jenniferkane8904
    @jenniferkane8904 3 роки тому +5

    The sentence "I want to ride a park bench in the shade" is my Disneyland mantra!

  • @loganblakemusic
    @loganblakemusic 4 роки тому +12746

    “Your mother brought ham sandwiches” bruh that hit homeee 😂😂

    • @rainbowllama9819
      @rainbowllama9819 4 роки тому +144

      It hit way too hard😂😂

    • @ddebenedictis
      @ddebenedictis 4 роки тому +121

      After spending $1000 on admission for his family, what's another $320 for lunch? Some people are soooo cheap!

    • @8depr193
      @8depr193 4 роки тому +6

      Ayyy LP logo my man

    • @DoctorSkillz
      @DoctorSkillz 4 роки тому +3

      All I got growing up was syrup sandwiches.

    • @ikkiduniya
      @ikkiduniya 4 роки тому

      Logan Archer ua-cam.com/video/cJFSTV62rZY/v-deo.html

  • @GreyM900
    @GreyM900 5 років тому +2005

    “Oh for heavens sake pick up your garbage and throw it away this isn’t Six flags”
    That is the most accurate thing ever

    • @qqqikoto4596
      @qqqikoto4596 5 років тому +1

      Omg yes

    • @brookekarp4181
      @brookekarp4181 5 років тому +3

      I have never been to six flags

    • @GreyM900
      @GreyM900 5 років тому +3

      Brooke Karp dirtiest park ever

    • @Razzy1312
      @Razzy1312 5 років тому +11

      @@brookekarp4181 For the past 2 decades or so six flags has been on the edge of failure at most of their parks. Their plan has been to invest all of their money in the latest extreme rides and market themselves as the thrill seeker's theme park. This has been at the cost of almost everything else, so most of their parks are dirty and old but people still come for the rides.

    • @yetzyreyes9921
      @yetzyreyes9921 5 років тому +1

      Razzy1312 it’s the closest amusement park to me! So I will resort to six flags 😂

  • @ApproximatelyCee
    @ApproximatelyCee 2 роки тому +5

    That cracked me up so much, I’m rolling on the floor! I’m glad my children are all grown up.

  • @jennaevangelista9709
    @jennaevangelista9709 Рік тому +3

    Dear god this is comedy and so true which makes it even funnier

  • @kyu5242
    @kyu5242 5 років тому +2360

    _45 dollars for bedazzled mouse ears? baby do you want these or do you want to go to college?_
    lmao im dead

    • @cuzcrewyeet
      @cuzcrewyeet 5 років тому +1

      0:14

    • @rngesus3430
      @rngesus3430 5 років тому +1

      Rip

    • @valveless4085
      @valveless4085 4 роки тому

      you want me to call 911?

    • @omgitstracey
      @omgitstracey 4 роки тому

      Leeann Jacket this video is a year old and the new price is $27.99 now. So maybe someday they will be $45 😂

  • @lauracarter7536
    @lauracarter7536 5 років тому +25966

    as someone who works at disney, i can confirm this is 100% correct

    • @shipmint5487
      @shipmint5487 5 років тому +791

      Nobody needs to work at Disney land to know this is true all u need is a dad

    • @dattebayo7781
      @dattebayo7781 5 років тому +295

      Hm, Is it fun working in disney or nah?
      I'm getting genuinely curious about it😂

    • @lauracarter7536
      @lauracarter7536 5 років тому +438

      Deku is a broccoli it’s alright. it’s more strict than most places in terms of like dress code and stuff, but i get into the park for free so it’s fine 😂

    • @-__9767
      @-__9767 5 років тому +174

      Laura Carter thank you and ur coworkers for doing the most to make kids happy 🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @myahjohncox7090
      @myahjohncox7090 5 років тому +35

      What do you do at Disney?

  • @SikandarDurrani
    @SikandarDurrani 3 роки тому +3

    My father was the cool father. Half way around world showcase I suffered a migraine attack to the nth degree. I passed out on a park bench and while my mom and brother went around my dad sat with me. In the 15ish adult years I’ve been visiting the happiest place on earth I’ve seen and heard every single one of them comments you’ve portrayed in this video. Thanks for the laugh.

  • @caroll.99
    @caroll.99 2 роки тому +4

    "This is Disney, use your imagination"😭😭😭

  • @ethancanute4508
    @ethancanute4508 5 років тому +5596

    “Eat a baguette and lose a world war, that’s my impression of France.” Someone has the same humor as me it’s amazing!

    • @user-wx9sc4fc2w
      @user-wx9sc4fc2w 5 років тому +12

      Honestly same

    • @camille517
      @camille517 5 років тому +41

      First eaters of mcdonald and the most killed ppl by gun's country is my impression of America ^v^

    • @ethancanute4508
      @ethancanute4508 5 років тому +9

      Zama -L over the past few years that’s sadly correct 😢

    • @kearstin1988
      @kearstin1988 5 років тому +71

      @@camille517 lmao those are the best burns you can come up with for America? I can do better than that and I was fucking born here!

    • @camille517
      @camille517 5 років тому +9

      @@kearstin1988 my purpose was to show this comment is kinda nosense and do not represent a country by sacarsm bu not to be mean :(

  • @maddier7820
    @maddier7820 4 роки тому +4808

    I got lost in Disney world when I was 3 years old. I wandered off & when the park was closing, my parents had to go against all the traffic of people heading out of the park to try and find me. They found me having an imaginary tea party in a gift shop...

    • @ahhwe-any7434
      @ahhwe-any7434 4 роки тому +342

      I saw a little dude crying for his parents at Disney. Little, not so little anymore dude out there, hope ure ok.

    • @NerdyGal28
      @NerdyGal28 4 роки тому +446

      I got lost at two in Disney World. Pooh led me back to my frantic mother. I, at the time, thought it was hilarious.

    • @rosean374
      @rosean374 4 роки тому +66

      I have always wondered about and judged mothers who lose their kids in theme parks. They have failed motherhood

    • @maddier7820
      @maddier7820 4 роки тому +260

      Rosean Henson Well, you must not have a lot of friends if that’s how you treat people lol... This happens to basically everyone. You’d be very, very lucky to say you’ve never had your child wander off before.

    • @maddier7820
      @maddier7820 4 роки тому +61

      SoCalNerd28 Yeah, I was off in my own little world. I also hated strangers though so it’s not like just anybody would be able to snatch me without a fight. If one of the millions of workers there saw someone dragging a little screaming and crying kid, I’m sure they would question it. 👌🏼

  • @CyanicCore
    @CyanicCore Рік тому +3

    This feels so much older than it is... guess something here is timeless?

    • @DevinMillarDM
      @DevinMillarDM Рік тому +2

      Yeah it feels like a video from 2015.

    • @CyanicCore
      @CyanicCore Рік тому

      @@DevinMillarDM That's the real world I suppose.. just rarer and rarer to see it here

    • @DevinMillarDM
      @DevinMillarDM Рік тому

      @@CyanicCore It gives me the cringey staged social experiment vibes.

  • @amyschuhmann1814
    @amyschuhmann1814 Рік тому +4

    Why does the Southern accent make it all the more glorious

  • @asmrreyes9180
    @asmrreyes9180 5 років тому +5088

    I don’t know what’s more funny the video or he’s by himself😂😂

    • @leandros_ab
      @leandros_ab 5 років тому +48

      ASMR Reyes the video where he is by himself?

    • @instantmiso9921
      @instantmiso9921 5 років тому +50

      @@leandros_ab he's talking to no one.

    • @tomedmond
      @tomedmond 5 років тому +1

      ASMR Reyes who the **** cares if he is

    • @somethingwithbungalows
      @somethingwithbungalows 5 років тому

      toxictombo65 he’s not by himself..

    •  5 років тому

      He doesn't seem to realise it.

  • @hanaeve__
    @hanaeve__ 5 років тому +555

    “Oh you wanna go to it’s a small world? Well it’s gonna be a pretty big world when you come outside and can’t find your parents.”
    I’m CRACKING UP 😂

  • @emeraldstudioproductions4031
    @emeraldstudioproductions4031 3 роки тому +2

    I recently went to Disney World and my favorite ride was the park bench in the shade.

  • @hollow3656
    @hollow3656 2 роки тому +1

    "Eat a baguette and lose a World War, that's my impression of France."
    The best line by far in this video

  • @faithfultotheKing
    @faithfultotheKing 4 роки тому +6768

    Imagine going to disney and seeing a grown man yelling at his kids but he doesnt have kids with him....just his phone

  • @spacegeneral8630
    @spacegeneral8630 4 роки тому +4580

    "This isn't six flags"
    The sad thing is, that joke is so accurate to six flags that it hurts

    • @SnozBerryQueen
      @SnozBerryQueen 4 роки тому +56

      Used to work there.....I feel personally attacked.

    • @ikkiduniya
      @ikkiduniya 4 роки тому +2

      generic gamer ua-cam.com/video/cJFSTV62rZY/v-deo.html

    • @esla1885
      @esla1885 4 роки тому +10

      @@SnozBerryQueen currently work there, I don't 😂

    • @motiemo
      @motiemo 4 роки тому +93

      For real though. It's so dirty and grimy there compared to Disney parks. And I feel for those who work at Six Flags parks. I saw a worker guy once have a mental breakdown and angrily kick his garbage collector over, yell in despair, and then sadly pick it back up and continue working. I wanted to hug him.

    •  4 роки тому +27

      Six flags is terrible. I use to work there. Now i get ptsd whenever i pass by the park on my way to Walmart

  • @jenniferlaplante1082
    @jenniferlaplante1082 3 роки тому +10

    Laughing out loud! This guy is AWESOME! 😂🙌

    • @jamesluis1767
      @jamesluis1767 2 роки тому

      How you doing gorgeous, I'm sorry for infringing on your nice comment and beautiful profile. do you mind friendship?

  • @month6130
    @month6130 3 роки тому +1

    How did I just find this? This is my favorite video on UA-cam !!

  • @cloudyday7714
    @cloudyday7714 4 роки тому +7065

    "A four hour wait till toy story, that line is to infinity and beond". That killed me

    • @charlieruns7953
      @charlieruns7953 4 роки тому +38

      The funny thing is he looked towards the ride when he said but he was in the Magic Kingdom. Toy Story is in a different park- The Studios.

    • @silenteyidentityv2150
      @silenteyidentityv2150 4 роки тому +11

      beyond*

    • @u1s3e4r
      @u1s3e4r 4 роки тому +5

      ruby boo “beond”

    • @silenteyidentityv2150
      @silenteyidentityv2150 4 роки тому +1

      @@u1s3e4r it's beyond

    • @u1s3e4r
      @u1s3e4r 4 роки тому +1

      Silentey Identity V ur dumb af. i was making fun of him. no shii its beyond.

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican 3 роки тому +4538

    "Eat a baguette and lose a world war"
    Historians: *Actually*

    • @JaydenCollectsBalloons
      @JaydenCollectsBalloons 3 роки тому +28

      I see your comments everywhere

    • @acapraichu4879
      @acapraichu4879 3 роки тому +39

      aCTuAlLy NaPOleoN wOn mOre waR tHeN TheY LoSt iN wW2!!11!!!1!

    • @LA_HA
      @LA_HA 3 роки тому +14

      @@acapraichu4879 So... Napoleon won a buncha World Wars...is what you're saying.

    • @Cerita__Dunia
      @Cerita__Dunia 3 роки тому +23

      @@LA_HA i mean.. Napoleon war mostly in Europe and let's be honest.. World War is actually another Europe war

    • @LA_HA
      @LA_HA 3 роки тому +9

      @@Cerita__Dunia Well... except the war zones that didn't take place in Europe, yeah. Hence, the World part of World War. haha. But, I see your general point.

  • @jango156
    @jango156 Рік тому +2

    Whenever I want to go to Disney for vacation I watch this video to remind myself why I actually don’t.

  • @wafam.4597
    @wafam.4597 2 роки тому +2

    “My love language is quality time but not this much” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @kawaii.universe2003
    @kawaii.universe2003 4 роки тому +2865

    And here we have Tony Stark taking his kids to DisneyLand.

    • @luxury2092
      @luxury2092 4 роки тому +24

      Brilliant!

    • @healerofthewaters6508
      @healerofthewaters6508 4 роки тому +152

      You mean taking PETER, right?
      Tony: Now you stay close to me at all times.
      Peter: Yes, Sir, Mr. Stark!
      Peter: (Wanders off for a sec)
      Tony: Peter? Peter! PETER!
      Peter: (Surrounded by children climbing on him because "SPIDERMAN!") MR. STARK HELP I JUST WANTED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! One came up asking for pictures and then they MULTIPLIED!
      Children: (Turn and see Tony) IRON MAN!
      And Tony and Peter never went to Disneyland again...

    • @florentinenice9146
      @florentinenice9146 4 роки тому +33

      @@healerofthewaters6508 what about Morgan, Nebula, Harley, Vision (and Peter, you have him). In ff those arw his 5 children...

    • @Sherry-xf9li
      @Sherry-xf9li 4 роки тому +7

      Florentine Nice nebula? 😂 tony's child😂 damn what did I miss?

    • @haleeyyyyyy
      @haleeyyyyyy 4 роки тому +3

      *dont*

  • @MCFishNuggets
    @MCFishNuggets 3 роки тому +5688

    Rule number one: don’t go until your kids are at least old enough to remember it

    • @davidkonevky7372
      @davidkonevky7372 3 роки тому +377

      Honestly adults get more enjoyment out of it than kids that can't even count past 100

    • @ng3414
      @ng3414 3 роки тому +252

      Yes! I went to Disneyworld once when I was 4... I hardly remember anything from it

    • @glowbug4603
      @glowbug4603 3 роки тому +76

      I went when I was three and loved it, so to each their own I guess.

    • @Termsofseve
      @Termsofseve 3 роки тому +118

      @@glowbug4603 yeah, do memory tests on the kid and see if they have long term memory, if yes, bring them. if no, babysitter time

    • @keerthivijay3335
      @keerthivijay3335 3 роки тому +17

      I was 6 when I went n I still remember.

  • @aspectaura
    @aspectaura 2 роки тому +2

    1:00 sounded like a video game character when he said "perfect"

  • @danieldaniels7571
    @danieldaniels7571 2 роки тому +6

    This reminds me why most of my memories of going to Disneyland with my parents as a kid aren’t good ones.

  • @ivyrose_writes
    @ivyrose_writes 4 роки тому +1788

    "Does it have air conditioning? If it doesn't I don't wanna go."
    Mood.

  • @lydiajayatilleke6085
    @lydiajayatilleke6085 5 років тому +4411

    “A four hour wait for Toy Story, that line is to infinity and beyond” IM DYING 😂😂😂
    Edit: oof I wasn’t expecting this many likes thanks

  • @ij1376
    @ij1376 3 роки тому +4

    Best part was Tigger. That was spontaneous and awesome.

  • @Vailque
    @Vailque 11 місяців тому +1

    As somebody who has watched a two hour documentary on Disney’s Fastpass, I can confirm this is exactly how most Disney World/Land trips go. The lines are guaranteed to be long and the prices are bound to be high.

  • @user-kf7wn3gs4l
    @user-kf7wn3gs4l 5 років тому +4080

    it's funny cuz he's not speaking to anybody
    just imagine being a bystander looking at him

    • @karma_tography
      @karma_tography 5 років тому +9

      Allison Lucas too bad they can’t hear him 🤑

    • @aces_pretty_face2927
      @aces_pretty_face2927 4 роки тому +118

      Nah if he's in Disney world he's not in top 100 weirdest people in the parks that day trust me

    • @NoU-pf8fc
      @NoU-pf8fc 4 роки тому +8

      Allison Lucas I’m guessing that they would look like your profile picture

    • @fsirjyy147
      @fsirjyy147 4 роки тому +8

      Its 2019. Everyone in America has a phone, and makes, or knows what a video in UA-cam. If someone is talking, and has a phone, or camera they know they are making a video.

    • @Aethelhadas
      @Aethelhadas 4 роки тому +3

      SimpleMan.45 exactly but I think twas a joke

  • @cowboylikeabi
    @cowboylikeabi 4 роки тому +1881

    “If you don’t get over here by the count of three I will spank you into tomorrow land” 😂😂😂

    • @melody2163
      @melody2163 3 роки тому +12

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌🏻

  • @ignatiussun3325
    @ignatiussun3325 Рік тому +3

    "No! I want Mickey mouse ears! I don't want college!" (I hear my distant young self cry for another 30 mins)

  • @drfit3719
    @drfit3719 3 роки тому +8

    I have been to Disneyland a few times and I can imagine how miserable it would be to be there with a big family with a lot of little kids.

  • @bejewelledgaming
    @bejewelledgaming 4 роки тому +3559

    “Pick up your garbage and throw it away this is not six flags” has me dead

    • @gerstein03
      @gerstein03 4 роки тому +33

      pettyvibesx roblox Walt Disney made sure that you were always at least 30 steps from the trashcan in his parks

    • @memphisstef3808
      @memphisstef3808 4 роки тому +13

      @@gerstein03 how is it possible that Walt Disney predicted that I would be at least 30 steps from everyone

    • @maxpower4504
      @maxpower4504 4 роки тому

      Explain this joke please 🙏

    • @mfmiinka8026
      @mfmiinka8026 4 роки тому

      @@maxpower4504 Six flags is dirty af

    • @KazuhaEien
      @KazuhaEien 4 роки тому +2

      I'm planning to go to the Great Adventure soon. Is it any good? Keep in mind that I will most likely NOT go on any of the thrill rides.

  • @VMadnezzYT
    @VMadnezzYT 5 років тому +1734

    4 hours for toy story, this line is to infinity in beyond. That one made me laugh on the inside😂😂😂

    • @Sky-ns2ue
      @Sky-ns2ue 5 років тому +7

      VIDEO MADNEZZ love the on the inside you added 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀

    • @VMadnezzYT
      @VMadnezzYT 5 років тому +2

      @@Sky-ns2ue 🤣

    • @garlicgirl3149
      @garlicgirl3149 5 років тому +3

      Okay I hollered laughing on that one especially how Buzz Lightyear is my favorite character.

    • @namjoonscrabs4852
      @namjoonscrabs4852 5 років тому

      i busted a lung😭😂

  • @arpitipical
    @arpitipical 3 роки тому +6

    "Baby you want these or you want to go to college"
    5 year old me : I'll pass

  • @sky3dag0at
    @sky3dag0at 4 місяці тому +1

    the way tigger was running up to him and he says “Absolutely not, absolutely not” and he just speeds up😭😭

  • @lukey6970
    @lukey6970 4 роки тому +1082

    The most accurate one is. "NO, no goofy shaped chicken nuggets, your mom packed you ham sandwiches." That is the most accurate in my opinion.

  • @bblulz7554
    @bblulz7554 3 роки тому +5513

    THE DAMN STROLLERS. WHY DOES EVERYONE BRING THEIR INFANTS IF THEYRE NOT EVEN GONNA REMEMBER ANYTHING

    • @jennifermurphy9590
      @jennifermurphy9590 3 роки тому +245

      My parents are making me wait to go so I will remember lol

    • @timesmash
      @timesmash 3 роки тому +130

      Because it's hard to get a babysitter for the entire weekend?

    • @jennifermurphy9590
      @jennifermurphy9590 3 роки тому +224

      @@timesmash Just wait until your kids are older to go yourself

    • @RoroRoseD
      @RoroRoseD 3 роки тому +105

      I'm guilty as charge 🤣 i guess i did it for myself and cute baby photos

    • @skylarnicole8077
      @skylarnicole8077 3 роки тому +16

      @@timesmash more like the entire week for me lol

  • @taylorx6037
    @taylorx6037 2 роки тому +2

    0:19 Tigger runnin up on him while he’s saying “absolutely not” is the funniest shit🤣

  • @shrek187
    @shrek187 Рік тому +3

    To be honest, It's a Small World should be used ONLY if you're more than halfway on your trip. It's the slowest and the longest ride so it's perfect to take a rest while you're there.

  • @jay_mem
    @jay_mem 3 роки тому +2811

    Basic people: *makes a disneyland vlog*
    Intellectuals:

    • @jakeryndak5284
      @jakeryndak5284 3 роки тому +13

      Well ACTUALLY *ahem* this is Disney WORLD. Not Disney LAND. You seem to be rather *annoying pause* “slow”
      (And now imagine I said all of that as a super richEuropean guy from 1456)

    • @PrinceFloof
      @PrinceFloof 3 роки тому

      We have an even split of basics and intellectuals

    • @PrinceFloof
      @PrinceFloof 3 роки тому +3

      @@jakeryndak5284 Slow people can't take criticism, you forgot that one

    • @LosHitman
      @LosHitman 3 роки тому

      Umm what’s the difference from Disneyworld and Disneyland

    • @demoblaster
      @demoblaster 3 роки тому +2

      @@LosHitman The Walt Disneyworld Orlando Resort is its own small city district located in Orlando, Florida. All of the other Disney themeparks are called either Disneyland, located in Anaheim, California, or Disneyland Location-name-here for those outside the US.