Thumbs up David !!! Yes let the Narc know they are not the center of the universe because these predators will take advantage of any kindness you show them.
@@catthat9999 So true..ungrateful pearls before swine. If someone offers nothing , appreciate nothing you do and always ask for more & will give nothing in return, cut ties with this toxic person. I have learned not to act too kind because many people will take you for granted.
@@catthat9999 True !!! Get rid of ungrateful , angry , toxic people who kind of show you they actually hate you on some level. When people show you who you are believe them, make no excuses.
This is where having hearing difficulties is beneficial I turn my hearing aids off.It's quite amazing how rude you can be to them and they really are clueless....I'm politeness itself but toxics don't get my time life's to precious !
It's amazing how clueless they are, it's hard to believe it yourself. Even if I told them to leave me the f alone because their actions are abusive and they are mean, they'd think I am stubborn or mentally ill saying all that stuff to them.
This is brilliant David 😁. I would say narcissists behave like this themselves a lot of the time 😁 giving them a taste and behaving as though they are unimportant. Basically behave like narcissists to narcissists.😄 Love it 👍🏻It’s crazy how some of us have needed permission to stand up for ourselves. Says a lot about our childhoods. Thank you 🙏🏻😊. Hope you’re well 😊
I am so thankful for your videos. I grew up in a family system with cluster B personalities, and I have dated men with these patterns. I’ve always seen the dysfunction, but never trusted myself in believing it. Your content helps me understand what is occurring and how to respond, given that I’ve often been made to feel I should doubt myself.
David, you should go to theatre, you are so good!!!! Very good video. I work with the ex narc (hate to say "my") and by intuition i applyed what you say here. Most important thing was eye no contact. Then i acted like he was never there. I found other occupations if it was the case, only to help me ignore him. I should say it worked. I felt a sort of confusion from his part, then furry. But i stick to the plan. I also avoided any place i knew he will be or the hours he will be there (lunch for example). I also was very friendly with the people he used to triangulate me with before. Practically i reinstalled the dignity i had before and i tryed to large the distance between us so he wont have the guts to approach or treat me like trash. I never went to the manager. I found that is no hard to make like a person is not there, if you concentrate a bit. With time i got some clarity and i saw him in a different perspective, more accurate. And i dont like what i see: a small man. Thank you, David, you are great!
@@daviddemars thank you, David. It helps to have a feedback. I guess is also important the smear campaign. I think they do it not only for their image, but to have reactions from their victims. At work i already heard he is talking bad behind my back. I ignored that too. It is easier with days, because i find who i am, what i want and what huge illusionist i fel for. God bless you, David.
The key is to not give them too much energy, even when not acknowledging them, its to busy yourself with the things you enjoy, so your focus is taken off of them. Yes, the questions too. Getting bombarded with personal questions, I act distant and boring.
When my aunt was hoovering I grey rocked her. She tried to lure me with victim and emotional statements about my family and I either ignored her or corrected her in a factual way. Example: "Oh I (or you) were treated so badly by xyz relatives - ignore "Oh my son really values your friendship with him" - reply "Haven't heard from him in years." "Oh I just made arrangements to come and visit you in a few weeks" - Sorry but you didn't let me know. I've made plans already and will be out of town. "I cannot believe that xyz did that to my son" - reply "why are you giving xyz people so much power? They have a lot of influence and control in your life if you keep talking about it." (Narc HATES to not be in control) but you still do not engage on their topic......
I love it! I use to be so sarcastic to my narc mother, drove her crazy. Give the dog tons of love and kisses but ignore my narc mother, only the dog gets my undivided attention. Constantly interrupting my narc and walking out “distracted” with something else, evading her questions, laugh at something but not tell her what’s funny....just keep laughing. Ignoring her drove her crazy, so laughing at her made it better for me and worse for her. I love torturing my narc, I turned her sick game back on her and loved every minute of her train wreck demise. She died young like most narcs do. Hahaha!!!
And thank you for giving me permission to stop being nice, caring and\or considerate when dealing with that A-hole narc in my life!!! They don't deserve my kindness, understanding or attention. They are narcs. Beyond redemption. Nothing to see here folks, lets move on!!!!!
Sorry, forgot the most important part to my earlier comment. "Respond the opposite of what they are expecting" To smile silently and nodding your head while they are explaining how "abused" they are had me rolling on the floor laughing!!! Brilliant!!!! I can just imagine the chagrin, the disbelief, the rage they must feel when you don't give the expected response!!!! How that would turn their world upside down!!!!! SO satisfying!!!!!
It takes time but it does work. LOVE these vids. Act like you’re too dumb to know what they’re up to. Use their jabs and insults to improve yourself. They hate it. HATE. IT.
Hello David! Thanks for this video! You are an evil genius and after viewing this video I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!! I am SO going to try the exaggerated long pause on my narc neighbour! I envision rage on her part for not receiving supply, and me laughing behind my hand at her frustration!!! You made my day, man. Thanks!
Demars you are too good bro, I`ve gone no contact, they continue to break barriers and trying a hoovering and love bombing of course we are firm on our resolutions but it sucks to even see them. I didn`t want to go into that strong stare in their eyes but I thinkI`ll be oblidged to give them that scaring stare and close this chapter in my life. I am really worn out man with my in-laws. Thanks for this piece. cheers bro . bobby from Brazil.
Martin borbi. I feel your pain, man. Know that people like me are rooting for you. "Never give up! Never surrender!!!" (Tim Allen from the movie Galaxy Quest.) Excellent movie, excellent advice.
DAVID SPOT ON !!!!!! I got a great laugh outta that one!! Yeah...just turn their behaviors right back @ them!! That "should" be proof positive how abhorrent their behavior is... but to them they'll Never see it!! You can't fix something you won't admit or can't see is broken!! They are hopeless wretched monsters!!
thank you david. some good information. made me think of a few things. i am a caregiver for seniors. i think some of them take advantage of me and my caring assistance... the men are the scariest to me. not often but it happens. i believe its time for a different type of employment. its getting old. i am professional btw.
I think you are absolutely right. Society/Life has conditioned us that these sweet little "old folks" are just the most precious little souls you will ever meet. Nope. Why is it that old age is so misunderstood? Never understood that. These are people that are like every other mixture of so-called types of individuals. The age that they are at now is nothing more than the natural progression of their life like anyone else. It does not alone render them sane, rationale, moral, reasonable, nice or good. They are now as they always have been who they chose/allowed themselves to be. If they would have hurt you beyond repair thirty to fifty years ago they will likely do the same now. They are more dangerous now if anything because of these notions that old people are sweet and good and the best of all men. They have that sweet look about them and that is what draws you in. While you are caring for them they are observing you and testing you, finding out your weaknesses. They have literally had a full life of doing this to other people and they know better than anyone how to get at you and how to hurt you. They know exactly how to do this and furthermore will do this. Tina, don't let even one of them ruin your life. Do what you feel will make You happy. The fastest way you can get out of there and escape the abuse the better. It is your life and you have the right to be happy, healthy and fulfilled.
@@calanthiarose I'm slowly but surely making my way towards being a senior and your comment rather alarmed me. I understand there are narcs in the world, I've met my share of them, as have you. But you are implying that practically ALL seniors are narcs and that's just not true! I believe the vast majority of people (of any age) are good, decent people, and only a few are of the narc/psychopath variety.
To sum it up Lori...the only seniors I was referencing were the Old Narcs. That was it. Period. I deleted my first reply and I've been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to respond. "These are people that are like every other mixture of so-called types of individuals." Did you fail to read that? The narcs are literally mixed into the general population at every age group. Within EVERY group there are going to be Narcissists. As they age they need care like everyone else. But does that mean this person is not still a Narc? Nope. Still a Narc. I don't know what you have been through personally and I'm trying not to judge that because...I don't know. But I surely do know my own story and I Cannot Believe you would be so quick to judge me. What's worse is that you have mistaken what I wrote and have ACCUSED ME of having something against seniors. That's out of line as in WAY out of line and I hope that you will do the right thing and apologize. We're all here to learn about this stuff and why would I be talking about anyone else but this one type of individual? The only seniors I have referenced are the one who are Narcs. Period.
love this video I had to chuckle. I've used these techniques many times naturally because I didn't care BUT this is the exact way my narc would relate. to ME between either the silent treatment or talking about himself.
How enlightening!! Makes me want to go contact for a day to try this stuff. I'm kidding of course. Better to pretend the world is flat and they slipped off. Really great video.
Thank you so much, David. I'm living with NPD mom & PD dad and your advice is brilliant. Have been ignoring them for the last couple of days and it's going great. If they ask question I ask them to wait until I finish a chore and of course, I never come back to answer it. Ha ha, I'm busy as a bee. They really don't get how incredibly abusive they are and they just imagine I have something to hide (eg a secret boyfriend, an important job I go to or something huge that I don't care to share with them, LOL)
I used to do grocery store deliveries and tried to ignore the store workers. They were always trying to order me around or act 'in charge' when all I wanted to do was make the delivery and get to the next one. The more I ignored them, the more belligerent they got. I finally had to be rude to wake them up. Then they were upset with my 'bad attitude'.
my mother doesn't know what narcissism is but she learned how to deal with one over the years staying with my narc father. she is a pro at not giving a fuck what he puts us all through.
Great advice David. Thank you so much! That is what they do to us on a regular basis.. I really appreciate your knowledge and input about this subject!! Best wishes to you and yours for this new year :):)
Thank you. It’s Thanksgiving and my narcissistic in laws are here 😩. It’s awful. I am going to use this but I will admit, it’s going to be so hard. But I’m just so fed up and so tired of them treating me so bad. This will be the last time they come to my home. I just need to get through this and I appreciate you giving tactics. If I don’t do something, I’m going to get in my car and leave. I feel like I just want to explode. I can’t change the fact that they are here but I can stand up for myself and learn from this situation.
I figured this out in my second narcissistic relationship because I was completely blindsided in my first relationship. A lot of my tactics were self preservation and not done maliciously but caused her considerable frustration and why the relationship ended in 4 and 1/2 months.
I want to add that you don’t have to allow yourself to get engaged in their tactics. I’ve been ignoring which goes back to stonewalling. What you’re saying is all good 👍👍👍
Man, if you did this to just about anyone it would be brutal. I've realized I've done a few things listed and I realize how harsh it is. Psychological war!
Have done this naturally 😜 Just realized after 15 years of marriage that my husband is a covert narc. I accidentally tripped over some info on a UA-cam video and voila! Life made sense. I did not know what I was dealing with and go silent most of the time. I've heard narcs go silent, so I was questioning whether or not I was one. I took a test (2 actually) and only answered no to 2 questions. I am extreme empath but that silent thing was throwing me a curve!! Thank you so much for your videos! Love and appreciate them and you. Knowledge truly is POWER ♥️🥀♥️
She was such a bastard as a co-worker/friend that I started to do the same things by instinct and I am so happy you gave me validation with this video. :) Thanks! Great job! :) - Funny thing that I notice - already this is working as she can't stand it and we are in the midst of her silent treatment...
We are all trained to be curtness and play by the social rules, respect the social norms - bat you cant do thid with a ducking narcopath - thid monster eat you alive when you not block them completly...
Great video. Funny, it’s like remedial asshole training, for people who aren’t good at that! Being a jerk doesn’t come naturally to a nice person - you have to train yourself how, bizarrely. LOL!
Yeah, I did that once, asked for some space, then hide in the bathroom and the attention seeking continued and escalated. From "I've walked in and out and you haven't even noticed", I was actually meant to be working from home at the time, so I thought a, "hey how was your day was enough". But then it turned to screams and then to violence. Maybe the tactics you mentioned work in boardrooms and in hard corporations but Narcs in love can turn violent and dangerous when ignored in my experience. Actually just really fucking scary. Not enough attention and violence erupts. Time to leave any relationship when violence enters though.
Great video man! Really appreciate it. The funny thing with me is I’ve found a potentially narc coworker doing the exact same control techniques such as no eye contact and pausing awkwardly during conversations. I call it putting me in freeze. These people are crazy!
That's how they treat you after the discard and already have new supply.. they turn THEIR backs to you. So, I don't think they care if you take their cue.
I am going threw it! The narc in my life happens to be my “boyfriend”/ child’s father. He lives in my house and feels so entitled. He works threw a temp agency maybe 3/4 times a month. He gives me about $100/150 a month to go towards rent and taking care of the baby.. that only pays the electric bill (if I’m lucky). I want him out but I know it’s going to be so hard because he’s so dramatic and has already told me that he will make my life a living hell.. I’ve already tried once to kick him out. When I did He repeatedly called my job (literally 20/30 times back to back) it was so embarrassing.When I got home I locked all the doors. Well, he didn’t stay gone too long he came back to my house (duplex) and started banging on the back sliding glass doors. Mind you, it’s 130 in the morning. We have a 8 month old daughter and my neighbor has a 2 year old.. after 10 min of banging on the doors so long I had to let him in. I want him out and I don’t know what to do...
Amanda Connor Call the police next time. He got what he wanted last time and he will do it again because it worked. No one has the right to behave like this. Call the police and quit letting him control your life.
I know what I have to do.. I’m just nervous about the retaliation.. I’m still putting together a plan and part of that is getting a restraining order.. it’s just a matter of actually doing it
Girl, take it from me, I was in a very similar position a few years ago. I should’ve called the police many times and pressed charges. Now, I regret my empathy as the divorce process is equal when it comes to children; regardless of the continued harassment and neglect. I am telling you as a mother, call the police and press charges, when this happens. They will put temp restraining orders on and make sure you keep them on. Cut him off and don’t listen to the love bombing. It will be hard to do, but it needs to be done for you and your child’s future. Do not give into his bullying, just focus on your baby and your growth. Align yourself with a counselor or anyone you can trust. You have the power to take back your life, I promise every day gets easier. ❤️
Thank you for the kind words.. I know what needs to be done. It’s just a matter of doing it... I can remember last New Year’s Eve.. right before midnight the narc and I got into another argument about something stupid. When the clock struck 12 I was in the other room , not celebrating New Years but pissed off at him.. and the only thing I was thinking was.. I can’t do this for ANOTHER year. Here it is 2 weeks before New Years and I’m in the SAME exact situation.. I don’t know what’s holding me back from just doing it.. however it has to be done soon! I’m going crazy and it’s not fair to my 8 month old baby.. she deserves soo much better
Hello from France I'm an adult female. David you scared M.E with your open eyes tech intimidation. How can I go to sleep now? LOL. More seriously, great job ; D
Actually many Narcissists do it to us first and victims suffering, but when we use their techniques on them they blow up in anger, they recognize what you are doing is their own methods and they can become very aggressive. I personally would not recommend doing many of those techniques because many narcissists will use physical abuse as a step number two to get the attention 🤔
use your cell WITH earbuds even if they're not working. I use earplugs,ready w the answer that it helps me meditate or think or I have a headache. Be deliberate in your actions.If you're done w your tasks, leave the room.
My ex narc thought I will always go back to him.. I study his pattern He’s a narcissist.. I can’t believe it he’s a law enforcer but he’s action is not respectful... he should be a scammers Shame on him All his future faking are all lies.. I don’t regret I discarded him all is done... no turning back... he’s a trash in my eyes
A cell can save you. Listen to something on your cell (f u dont have earbuds ) that is embarrassing or uncomfortable for them to hear..and try not to laugh til you're away from them. And if it's a parent, no you do NOT have to adjust these behaviors. A malignant narcissist as a parent is worse because it should be hard and unnatural for them to do these things to their (adult or not)children or to any child. They are abusing a sacred trust. Its 10x worse. They should want you to feel positive and free and focused on yourself because your life is ahead of you. I'll quit now before I can light a match w my anger over this particular abusive relationship.
Ive been made to feel like im the narc in my family. Since living my ex i noticed everyone in my family stopped talking to me. I tried to speak to them. When my brother finally come to me i was told that i made my family look like dirt. My ex was already bad to me he was over it. So i made it all stop my kids didn't like the fighting but when i left it got worse.. now to this day i may have my safty but i have no one left in my life to turn to gray rock or silent treatment hurts
I think it could be dangerous to laugh or even smile when a narcissist says something that’s not purposefully funny. They may get really angry and it can trigger them to be confrontational. If they have any sort of controlling or violent tendencies it could mean you may have to fight your way out of it.
I have doubts that my ex narc wired my home. I have doubts that he's been using lies for long time to present me in the bad light. I'm very unhappy with my situation ,I wish someone could come and help me to leave this country.corona stated couple months ago and I'm pretty much isolated for eight years. All lies and bs presented by my ex and his family ,friends made situation unbearable. I'm really desperate to Leave. Since my financial situation is poor,I can't.I just felt I need to speak for myself. Even I know its not much use of that.
Thumbs up David !!! Yes let the Narc know they are not the center of the universe because these predators will take advantage of any kindness you show them.
They're not even in my Universe!
Willa Barnes They take any kindness and masterfully turn it to poison and throw it at you.
@@catthat9999 So true..ungrateful pearls before swine. If someone offers nothing , appreciate nothing you do and always ask for more & will give nothing in return, cut ties with this toxic person. I have learned not to act too kind because many people will take you for granted.
Willa Barnes It’s one thing to not appreciate something. It’s another to be nasty to people who do things for you. Get rid of em
@@catthat9999 True !!! Get rid of ungrateful , angry , toxic people who kind of show you they actually hate you on some level. When people show you who you are believe them, make no excuses.
Don't feed the demon
Jordan Peterson says that it does not pay to be too agreeable in general. I know he's right.
“Keep moving” the motto
Very wise and yet entertaining Dave. Ty
Wow you just nailed it! That’s what they deserve because they don’t value loyalty and care. Thanks for the wonderful ideas. Stay blessed!
This is where having hearing difficulties is beneficial I turn my hearing aids off.It's quite amazing how rude you can be to them and they really are clueless....I'm politeness itself but toxics don't get my time life's to precious !
A benefit!
It's amazing how clueless they are, it's hard to believe it yourself. Even if I told them to leave me the f alone because their actions are abusive and they are mean, they'd think I am stubborn or mentally ill saying all that stuff to them.
I just laughed out loud..can't wait to try some of these..thanks David.
Excellent advice! Thank you.
This is brilliant David 😁. I would say narcissists behave like this themselves a lot of the time 😁 giving them a taste and behaving as though they are unimportant. Basically behave like narcissists to narcissists.😄 Love it 👍🏻It’s crazy how some of us have needed permission to stand up for ourselves. Says a lot about our childhoods. Thank you 🙏🏻😊. Hope you’re well 😊
That's it, thank you Carrie. Enjoy your holidays!
that is so real - thank you for your comment
Dotty P Wiser words were never spoken!
I am so thankful for your videos. I grew up in a family system with cluster B personalities, and I have dated men with these patterns. I’ve always seen the dysfunction, but never trusted myself in believing it. Your content helps me understand what is occurring and how to respond, given that I’ve often been made to feel I should doubt myself.
David, you should go to theatre, you are so good!!!! Very good video. I work with the ex narc (hate to say "my") and by intuition i applyed what you say here. Most important thing was eye no contact. Then i acted like he was never there. I found other occupations if it was the case, only to help me ignore him. I should say it worked. I felt a sort of confusion from his part, then furry. But i stick to the plan. I also avoided any place i knew he will be or the hours he will be there (lunch for example). I also was very friendly with the people he used to triangulate me with before. Practically i reinstalled the dignity i had before and i tryed to large the distance between us so he wont have the guts to approach or treat me like trash. I never went to the manager. I found that is no hard to make like a person is not there, if you concentrate a bit. With time i got some clarity and i saw him in a different perspective, more accurate. And i dont like what i see: a small man. Thank you, David, you are great!
Fantastic Cristina! Any peace you can find is great. Keep going with this and you will gain more confidence.
@@daviddemars thank you, David. It helps to have a feedback. I guess is also important the smear campaign. I think they do it not only for their image, but to have reactions from their victims. At work i already heard he is talking bad behind my back. I ignored that too. It is easier with days, because i find who i am, what i want and what huge illusionist i fel for. God bless you, David.
The key is to not give them too much energy, even when not acknowledging them, its to busy yourself with the things you enjoy, so your focus is taken off of them. Yes, the questions too. Getting bombarded with personal questions, I act distant and boring.
When my aunt was hoovering I grey rocked her. She tried to lure me with victim and emotional statements about my family and I either ignored her or corrected her in a factual way. Example:
"Oh I (or you) were treated so badly by xyz relatives - ignore
"Oh my son really values your friendship with him" - reply "Haven't heard from him in years."
"Oh I just made arrangements to come and visit you in a few weeks" - Sorry but you didn't let me know. I've made plans already and will be out of town.
"I cannot believe that xyz did that to my son" - reply "why are you giving xyz people so much power? They have a lot of influence and control in your life if you keep talking about it." (Narc HATES to not be in control) but you still do not engage on their topic......
You hilarious! And wise
I love it! I use to be so sarcastic to my narc mother, drove her crazy. Give the dog tons of love and kisses but ignore my narc mother, only the dog gets my undivided attention. Constantly interrupting my narc and walking out “distracted” with something else, evading her questions, laugh at something but not tell her what’s funny....just keep laughing. Ignoring her drove her crazy, so laughing at her made it better for me and worse for her. I love torturing my narc, I turned her sick game back on her and loved every minute of her train wreck demise. She died young like most narcs do. Hahaha!!!
Lots there to digest. As a people pleaser this will take courage but change is needed. If nothing changes nothing changes x
And thank you for giving me permission to stop being nice, caring and\or considerate when dealing with that A-hole narc in my life!!! They don't deserve my kindness, understanding or attention. They are narcs. Beyond redemption. Nothing to see here folks, lets move on!!!!!
Sorry, forgot the most important part to my earlier comment. "Respond the opposite of what they are expecting" To smile silently and nodding your head while they are explaining how "abused" they are had me rolling on the floor laughing!!! Brilliant!!!! I can just imagine the chagrin, the disbelief, the rage they must feel when you don't give the expected response!!!! How that would turn their world upside down!!!!! SO satisfying!!!!!
So funny David! It seems so easy to do but it's not. I have to learn it. Thank you so much!
This video is one of the best for how to combat a narc in the work place. I am going to start implementing them tomorrow. Thank you so much.
Awesome advice. This WILL work. Looking forward to utilizing these tactics! LOL....Thank you, David. Happy Holidays!
Thank you Cheryl, Merry Christmas!
It takes time but it does work. LOVE these vids. Act like you’re too dumb to know what they’re up to. Use their jabs and insults to improve yourself. They hate it. HATE. IT.
Great suggestions. 🙂Thank you for another great video.
Thank you, that's awesome advice.
I like the cell phone tact 😉, and the huh?
Yes, to the faithfully rude and arrogant!!!
Who’s the delight now?! 🙋🏻♀️
Hello David! Thanks for this video! You are an evil genius and after viewing this video I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!! I am SO going to try the exaggerated long pause on my narc neighbour! I envision rage on her part for not receiving supply, and me laughing behind my hand at her frustration!!! You made my day, man. Thanks!
Excellent advice !!!!!😆
I love your channel!! Thank you for all the great videos! ♡♡
Lmao! Thanks for the great content and a good belly laugh!
Demars you are too good bro, I`ve gone no contact, they continue to break barriers and trying a hoovering and love bombing of course we are firm on our resolutions but it sucks to even see them. I didn`t want to go into that strong stare in their eyes but I thinkI`ll be oblidged to give them that scaring stare and close this chapter in my life. I am really worn out man with my in-laws.
Thanks for this piece. cheers bro . bobby from Brazil.
Martin borbi. I feel your pain, man. Know that people like me are rooting for you. "Never give up! Never surrender!!!" (Tim Allen from the movie Galaxy Quest.) Excellent movie, excellent advice.
DAVID SPOT ON !!!!!! I got a great laugh outta that one!! Yeah...just turn their behaviors right back @ them!! That "should" be proof positive how abhorrent their behavior is... but to them they'll Never see it!! You can't fix something you won't admit or can't see is broken!! They are hopeless wretched monsters!!
anytime I put my hands on my hips, (which I naturally do, ) or cross my arms, he got furious even before any words were spoken...
It always helps David! Thank you 💕 good body language tips, and a reminder to put those boundaries where they belong.
I am so into your videos right now! You make me laugh and help me so much! Double bonus🤗 Can’t wait for the next one!
thank you david. some good information. made me think of a few things. i am a caregiver for seniors. i think some of them take advantage of me and my caring assistance... the men are the scariest to me. not often but it happens. i believe its time for a different type of employment. its getting old. i am professional btw.
I think you are absolutely right. Society/Life has conditioned us that these sweet little "old folks" are just the most precious little souls you will ever meet. Nope. Why is it that old age is so misunderstood? Never understood that. These are people that are like every other mixture of so-called types of individuals. The age that they are at now is nothing more than the natural progression of their life like anyone else. It does not alone render them sane, rationale, moral, reasonable, nice or good. They are now as they always have been who they chose/allowed themselves to be. If they would have hurt you beyond repair thirty to fifty years ago they will likely do the same now. They are more dangerous now if anything because of these notions that old people are sweet and good and the best of all men. They have that sweet look about them and that is what draws you in. While you are caring for them they are observing you and testing you, finding out your weaknesses. They have literally had a full life of doing this to other people and they know better than anyone how to get at you and how to hurt you. They know exactly how to do this and furthermore will do this. Tina, don't let even one of them ruin your life. Do what you feel will make You happy. The fastest way you can get out of there and escape the abuse the better. It is your life and you have the right to be happy, healthy and fulfilled.
I would say so, you're amazing for doing it, thank you.
@@calanthiarose I'm slowly but surely making my way towards being a senior and your comment rather alarmed me. I understand there are narcs in the world, I've met my share of them, as have you. But you are implying that practically ALL seniors are narcs and that's just not true! I believe the vast majority of people (of any age) are good, decent people, and only a few are of the narc/psychopath variety.
To sum it up Lori...the only seniors I was referencing were the Old Narcs. That was it. Period. I deleted my first reply and I've been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to respond.
"These are people that are like every other mixture of so-called types of individuals."
Did you fail to read that?
The narcs are literally mixed into the general population at every age group. Within EVERY group there are going to be Narcissists. As they age they need care like everyone else. But does that mean this person is not still a Narc? Nope. Still a Narc.
I don't know what you have been through personally and I'm trying not to judge that because...I don't know. But I surely do know my own story and I Cannot Believe you would be so quick to judge me. What's worse is that you have mistaken what I wrote and have ACCUSED ME of having something against seniors. That's out of line as in WAY out of line and I hope that you will do the right thing and apologize.
We're all here to learn about this stuff and why would I be talking about anyone else but this one type of individual? The only seniors I have referenced are the one who are Narcs. Period.
Great practical input...Thank you so much!!!!! So helpful.
You're doin amazing work!! So helpful, so practical! Thank you ~ROCK~ON~
Thank you Kim!
love this video I had to chuckle. I've used these techniques many times naturally because I didn't care BUT this is the exact way my narc would relate. to ME between either the silent treatment or talking about himself.
How enlightening!! Makes me want to go contact for a day to try this stuff. I'm kidding of course. Better to pretend the world is flat and they slipped off. Really great video.
charlene domin "better to pretend the world is flat and they slipped off!!!!" I'm on the floor laughing charlene! You rock!!
This stuff is GOLDEN
Hi David
Thanks so very much for all your great Video's😊👍
Hi, David your Awesome!!!!!!
This is perfect love it!!!!!!!!!
💜💜💜
MERRY CHRISTMAS 💜💜💜
Thank you so much, David. I'm living with NPD mom & PD dad and your advice is brilliant. Have been ignoring them for the last couple of days and it's going great. If they ask question I ask them to wait until I finish a chore and of course, I never come back to answer it. Ha ha, I'm busy as a bee. They really don't get how incredibly abusive they are and they just imagine I have something to hide (eg a secret boyfriend, an important job I go to or something huge that I don't care to share with them, LOL)
Brilliant video different and unique with details
Super useful & Super fun, every time I watch this vid I learn & laugh :)
My #1 favorite video on UA-cam!
I used to do grocery store deliveries and tried to ignore the store workers. They were always trying to order me around or act 'in charge' when all I wanted to do was make the delivery and get to the next one. The more I ignored them, the more belligerent they got. I finally had to be rude to wake them up. Then they were upset with my 'bad attitude'.
my mother doesn't know what narcissism is but she learned how to deal with one over the years staying with my narc father. she is a pro at not giving a fuck what he puts us all through.
revenge of the targets... lol
this vid is super useful and also funny, thanks D!
thaks ,you are so right🌹🌸🌼🌺🍀🌊
Like Rain Man counting two things on the floor ....hilarious!!!
Great advice David. Thank you so much! That is what they do to us on a regular basis.. I really appreciate your knowledge and input about this subject!! Best wishes to you and yours for this new year :):)
Great strategies!
Thank you. It’s Thanksgiving and my narcissistic in laws are here 😩. It’s awful. I am going to use this but I will admit, it’s going to be so hard. But I’m just so fed up and so tired of them treating me so bad. This will be the last time they come to my home. I just need to get through this and I appreciate you giving tactics. If I don’t do something, I’m going to get in my car and leave. I feel like I just want to explode. I can’t change the fact that they are here but I can stand up for myself and learn from this situation.
So helpful thank you
I pray you have blessed holidays David 💙
Merry Christmas, thank you!
Amazing vid this works
Brilliant video save save save
I figured this out in my second narcissistic relationship because I was completely blindsided in my first relationship. A lot of my tactics were self preservation and not done maliciously but caused her considerable frustration and why the relationship ended in 4 and 1/2 months.
Gracias D! Felices Fiestas desde Argentina!! (Happy Holidays from Argentina!) :)
Good man David clear sense and very good advice
That's a great thought about being able to adjust depending on environment
I want to add that you don’t have to allow yourself to get engaged in their tactics. I’ve been ignoring which goes back to stonewalling. What you’re saying is all good 👍👍👍
Thank you god bless you ❤
Rainman counting toothpicks on the floor, yes to this! 😄
Man, if you did this to just about anyone it would be brutal. I've realized I've done a few things listed and I realize how harsh it is. Psychological war!
David , Sam Vaknin could not have done a better job! Thank you.
David best recipe ever gonna make me some
OMG my narc did this shit to me all the time! Crazy making.
Have done this naturally 😜 Just realized after 15 years of marriage that my husband is a covert narc. I accidentally tripped over some info on a UA-cam video and voila! Life made sense. I did not know what I was dealing with and go silent most of the time. I've heard narcs go silent, so I was questioning whether or not I was one. I took a test (2 actually) and only answered no to 2 questions. I am extreme empath but that silent thing was throwing me a curve!! Thank you so much for your videos! Love and appreciate them and you. Knowledge truly is POWER ♥️🥀♥️
And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.
Am I the only one that laughed all the way thru this 😂😂😂😂.. good technique tho
Tweatie Connally, some of the things David said made me 😂😂
@@BabyRabbit22I know right ... it tickled me 😂😂😂
Tweatie Connally, I actually tried a few of David’s tactics and they seem to working 😂
@@BabyRabbit22 no doubt they do... 😊
@@Tweatie88He made me laugh good to get a laugh
Great advice.
She was such a bastard as a co-worker/friend that I started to do the same things by instinct and I am so happy you gave me validation with this video. :) Thanks! Great job! :) - Funny thing that I notice - already this is working as she can't stand it and we are in the midst of her silent treatment...
So useful 👍... This how i will answer hoower 🤔
"go twice as long". Yup, that's what I'm doing next!!!!
It might be time for intimidation . I love it. Lol
We are all trained to be curtness and play by the social rules, respect the social norms - bat you cant do thid with a ducking narcopath - thid monster eat you alive when you not block them completly...
Great video. Funny, it’s like remedial asshole training, for people who aren’t good at that! Being a jerk doesn’t come naturally to a nice person - you have to train yourself how, bizarrely. LOL!
Please do a video on dealing with toxic emotional abuse with spouses. I cant leave and I'm just his emotional yo yo.
Thank you❤
Ok, will take this advise...i’m already laughing of what will happen....to be continued ;)
Yeah, I did that once, asked for some space, then hide in the bathroom and the attention seeking continued and escalated. From "I've walked in and out and you haven't even noticed", I was actually meant to be working from home at the time, so I thought a, "hey how was your day was enough". But then it turned to screams and then to violence.
Maybe the tactics you mentioned work in boardrooms and in hard corporations but Narcs in love can turn violent and dangerous when ignored in my experience. Actually just really fucking scary. Not enough attention and violence erupts. Time to leave any relationship when violence enters though.
Literally do what they do. They hate it! They dish it but can’t take it.
Great video man! Really appreciate it. The funny thing with me is I’ve found a potentially narc coworker doing the exact same control techniques such as no eye contact and pausing awkwardly during conversations. I call it putting me in freeze. These people are crazy!
Thank for the info
That's how they treat you after the discard and already have new supply.. they turn THEIR backs to you. So, I don't think they care if you take their cue.
I am going threw it! The narc in my life happens to be my “boyfriend”/ child’s father. He lives in my house and feels so entitled. He works threw a temp agency maybe 3/4 times a month. He gives me about $100/150 a month to go towards rent and taking care of the baby.. that only pays the electric bill (if I’m lucky). I want him out but I know it’s going to be so hard because he’s so dramatic and has already told me that he will make my life a living hell.. I’ve already tried once to kick him out. When I did He repeatedly called my job (literally 20/30 times back to back) it was so embarrassing.When I got home I locked all the doors. Well, he didn’t stay gone too long he came back to my house (duplex) and started banging on the back sliding glass doors. Mind you, it’s 130 in the morning. We have a 8 month old daughter and my neighbor has a 2 year old.. after 10 min of banging on the doors so long I had to let him in. I want him out and I don’t know what to do...
Amanda Connor Call the police next time. He got what he wanted last time and he will do it again because it worked. No one has the right to behave like this. Call the police and quit letting him control your life.
I know what I have to do.. I’m just nervous about the retaliation.. I’m still putting together a plan and part of that is getting a restraining order.. it’s just a matter of actually doing it
Girl, take it from me, I was in a very similar position a few years ago. I should’ve called the police many times and pressed charges. Now, I regret my empathy as the divorce process is equal when it comes to children; regardless of the continued harassment and neglect. I am telling you as a mother, call the police and press charges, when this happens. They will put temp restraining orders on and make sure you keep them on. Cut him off and don’t listen to the love bombing. It will be hard to do, but it needs to be done for you and your child’s future. Do not give into his bullying, just focus on your baby and your growth. Align yourself with a counselor or anyone you can trust. You have the power to take back your life, I promise every day gets easier. ❤️
Thank you for the kind words.. I know what needs to be done. It’s just a matter of doing it... I can remember last New Year’s Eve.. right before midnight the narc and I got into another argument about something stupid. When the clock struck 12 I was in the other room , not celebrating New Years but pissed off at him.. and the only thing I was thinking was.. I can’t do this for ANOTHER year. Here it is 2 weeks before New Years and I’m in the SAME exact situation.. I don’t know what’s holding me back from just doing it.. however it has to be done soon! I’m going crazy and it’s not fair to my 8 month old baby.. she deserves soo much better
Please do the right thing for your family and leave, or call the police, begin the eviction process, get an Attorney, something please. Good luck.
Size Matters...
LOL
That's Great! 😂👍
thank you.
Hello from France
I'm an adult female. David you scared M.E with your open eyes tech intimidation. How can I go to sleep now? LOL. More seriously, great job ; D
Great advice!!
This is great!!!!!!!!
Actually many Narcissists do it to us first and victims suffering, but when we use their techniques on them they blow up in anger, they recognize what you are doing is their own methods and they can become very aggressive. I personally would not recommend doing many of those techniques because many narcissists will use physical abuse as a step number two to get the attention 🤔
Silver Rain in a relationship setting, I completely agree. Although, I don’t believe all have violent tendencies.🤷🏼♀️
Yeah , it’s very true his methods , like you said some can be aggressively dangerous
use your cell WITH earbuds even if they're not working. I use earplugs,ready w the answer that it helps me meditate or think or I have a headache. Be deliberate in your actions.If you're done w your tasks, leave the room.
Thank you!!!
My ex narc thought I will always go back to him.. I study his pattern He’s a narcissist.. I can’t believe it he’s a law enforcer but he’s action is not respectful... he should be a scammers Shame on him
All his future faking are all lies.. I don’t regret I discarded him all is done... no turning back... he’s a trash in my eyes
A cell can save you. Listen to something on your cell (f u dont have earbuds ) that is embarrassing or uncomfortable for them to hear..and try not to laugh til you're away from them. And if it's a parent, no you do NOT have to adjust these behaviors. A malignant narcissist as a parent is worse because it should be hard and unnatural for them to do these things to their (adult or not)children or to any child. They are abusing a sacred trust. Its 10x worse. They should want you to feel positive and free and focused on yourself because your life is ahead of you.
I'll quit now before I can light a match w my anger over this particular abusive relationship.
8:45 "they'll stop telling you things" :-)
You great ! - That's like : I cant see or hear deth people.
Its not rude if is self defense.
Ive been made to feel like im the narc in my family. Since living my ex i noticed everyone in my family stopped talking to me. I tried to speak to them. When my brother finally come to me i was told that i made my family look like dirt. My ex was already bad to me he was over it. So i made it all stop my kids didn't like the fighting but when i left it got worse.. now to this day i may have my safty but i have no one left in my life to turn to gray rock or silent treatment hurts
🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is hilarious
I think it could be dangerous to laugh or even smile when a narcissist says something that’s not purposefully funny. They may get really angry and it can trigger them to be confrontational. If they have any sort of controlling or violent tendencies it could mean you may have to fight your way out of it.
I have doubts that my ex narc wired my home. I have doubts that he's been using lies for long time to present me in the bad light. I'm very unhappy with my situation ,I wish someone could come and help me to leave this country.corona stated couple months ago and I'm pretty much isolated for eight years. All lies and bs presented by my ex and his family ,friends made situation unbearable. I'm really desperate to Leave. Since my financial situation is poor,I can't.I just felt I need to speak for myself. Even I know its not much use of that.