Totally. I never understood how there was confession in the church. There should be no intermediary between you and God. Not the Pope, not the priest. Makes no sense.
Exactly. When we would sing hymms in church it was about Christ or God not the leaders of the church. Protestant or Catholic the subject of the hymms are the same.
I grew up in a cult. I heard that phrase of keeping sweet a lot. It effected my emotions and it has taken me years of counseling to reprogram. Thinking men controlled heaven and all things was so hard to unlearn without fear and guilt. People didn't understand even as an adult I didn't have the average adult knowledge of the outside world. Music outside of group is still a new adventure for me. I was taught if the skies were blue but the leader said it was raining I was to believe him over my own eyes since he sees what I can not see.
I’m really struck by the childlike pitch and tone of the choir. It really drives home how young the wives participating in the choir may have been-or how aesthetically immature they were encouraged to remain as they aged.
I grew up in the independent Baptist church, and we had musicians who sang like this. They all sounded really preppy, and the girls sounded like little girls singing in these overly sweet voices. This is even worse, though, than anything the IFB produced.
@@bostondarger8359 👍 yes, true. The woman were always told to "Keep Sweet" and this whole vocal effect thing was talked about in the "Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey". It was NASTY! 🤮
That is what is striking me too as well as just how creepy it is overall. This is a praise song for the one husband for a 100 women? I just can't even process that.
Oh Sam the emotions this music hits you with are so clear and obvious. My heart breaks for you for the loss of family. However I am so glad that you left and have a beautiful family of your own now 😊
It was really interesting to watch Sam's reaction to the song.. It touched him emotionally and you could see the poignancy on his face...and then you could see the warring in his heart and he was able to distance those emotions. I think this is a healthy reaction and we all do them in some ways. I really appreciate the honesty and the real emotions that you both bring to your channel and the insight to the world! Blessings!!
Great video! I studied music in college and would like to address the phenomenon you mentioned at the end of the video. Music makes us feel agreeable because of the chord progressions, which build tonal tension and then resolve to consonance (at the end of a song when it feels final). You can set almost any lyrics to agreeable chords and the music will sound agreeable. The satisfaction you feel is not just due to the words, but due to the physics behind the song-our brains like the chord progressions. I’m Christian (not LDS or FLDS) but even to me this music sounds pleasant because the chord progression is pleasant. This is one reason why I think it’s best not to build a reality purely off of one’s feelings, since feelings come and go and can be so easily manipulated. In my own religion, our feelings are supposed to always be anchored to reality and history. The feelings “get a seat on the bus, but they don’t get to drive it.”-haha. Having said that, I feel for these women who sing so sincerely and are not allowed to believe God’s love reaches beyond their prophet’s approval. May God bless them and their children and you two as well!
"In my own religion, ourfeelings are supposed to always be anchored to reality and history." May I ask what religion this is? I'm quite curious. Thanks!!
@@kkaye76 Hi Kimberly, I practice Anglican Christianity. I think most orthodox forms of Christianity share this belief and many evangelicals as well. Of course, you can always find individuals who do not agree with this in practice, but when discerning forms of Christianity it's often best to reference their historic, written beliefs and not the practices of individuals since Christianity is for saints and sinners alike. I hope that was helpful!
Thank you for having the courage to share this with us. I found the line at the start of the song referring to Warren as having "pure and childlike ways" to be beyond disturbing because of what is now known about his actions. You are a lovely couple. God bless you 💜
This man Warren Jeffs , was seriously so damaged mentally and emotionally, his sexual abuse of the children when he was made Principal at the School , and later his twisting and taking of the young girls as wives..he had and still has Absolute Power...
Alyssa, I love how you ask the questions like you are just learning all these things along with us. I love seeing the look on Sams face as he has such sweet memories.
The reason why all those memories come flooding back is because music engages a different part of your brain. There have been studies done that showed that people with advanced dementia, people that don't even know their own birthday anymore, can sing along with songs they listened to a lot when they were younger, remembering most of the lyrics and the melody. That's because your musical memory isn't part of your regular memory and so you can really feel all the emotions connected to certain music whenever you plug into that part of your brain. It feels familiar and soothing because those are the emotions your musical memory attached to this music. I actually play old music to my grandfather who has dementia. He only vaguely recognizes me but he doesn't really remember me at all but when I play familiar music, it's like he wakes up from a dream, from the spell of dementia. In that moment, he acts, talks, and smiles like he used to. You, Sam, started smiling like a young boy in the arms of his mother. It's bittersweet but keep those memories close to your heart, even if they hurt, they are a part of you.
This was so interesting. Unlike you two, I have never heard music like this. I've heard choir music, but nothing quite like this. So interesting to hear Sam recalling the programming this music carried, in contrast to Melissa's reaction to the childlike wives declaring obedience. It was really hard to listen to because of the underlying realities.
This is just so very sad how people can be brainwashed to think this is normal. 😔 I feel so blessed I wasn’t born into this crazy life. I am so happy you were able to get out of this really messed up religion and live a normal life! God bless you both 😊🙏 and thank you for sharing 🙂
I have just discovered your channel , obviously I have heard of Warren Jeff's but it's nice to hear about it from someone who has lived in that community, thank you for sharing your stories
Love your videos. This sounds so much (the melody, soft voice's, minimal instruments..not the words) like music that was approved by my dad, growing up. I however was a lil rebel and had The Beach Boys on cassette tape, I would secretly listen too!!
Oh my goodness God bless you both! This brings tears to my eyes I'm sure it's very emotional for you both. Absolutely 🤗! I was raised Lutheran. I get chills and tears when our hymns are sung in church.
I grew up Catholic and while I haven’t been involved in the church for 15 years, I still find comfort in hymns. Even though I don’t believe in the message of the words, the music still feels like home to me. It’s crazy how emotions are connected with music.
I find it interesting that they use the songbook from the “apostates”. What other mainstream LDS practices, books, etc. is borrowed from the mainstream church? I would love to also see a video about language. What words were considered cuss words but now you don’t see as a bad word? I’ve lived in stg for 17 years and definitely hear the southern drawl from your sister. Did you work hard to lose the accent? What words seem to be FLDS terminology like “keep sweet”?
Those are great ideas for future videos. We added them to list! I will say that I lost a lot of my accent from learning Spanish and living in Chile for two years.
This is one of your best videos I've seen! (I just found your channel, so I haven't seen all your videos. I started from the beginning of your channel.) You both shared so many raw emotions! I am so impressed with your willingness to give information about your upbringing and past. Thank you for creating this content.
I would be very interested in a video where you explain all of the FLDS lingo. I watched an interview with one of Warren Jeff’s wives who escaped, and I noticed that you and she use similar terms that I am unfamiliar with, and I am interested to understand their meaning!
This is a great idea! Any suggestions on what words you would like us to go over? It's hard for me to think of them off the top of my head since I am so used to them haha.
It's so weird that I have never ever heard that song before and yet I feel at peace because of the tune. I also was raised in the Pentecostal community and hymnal music was very very common in the church sermons.
I have been watching your channel all weekend, I love learning about other people and the different religions and cultures that are outside of the norm. I have maybe 5 videos left and will have finished them all!
Hi I'm from Hawaii and enjoy your channel. It is so nice to see a loving and respectful couple. You have shared your life with us in a very open way. I do have a question. What happens to the family if the father passes away? The wives and younger children?
I know it's only been a week, but I've missed you guys! Keep the unique and fabulous content coming! It's true, music transports you to a time and place VERY quickly. It can be a joy or a curse, depending!
I love your guys’s videos! I’m not even LDS, I’m Non denominational Christian but I love seeing your guys’s videos and your experiences. I have a lot of respect for all of it. There are a lot of great things that come out of all religious backgrounds. It’s not all negative. Clearly, he is a great guy with great values and you are a beautiful supportive wife but at the same time so independent and strong! Really a beautiful intelligent woman! Lots of love and respect to you and your family! 💛
Thank you for sharing about your life with us. I know these are deeply personal memories and experiences. I haven't yet watched your video about your spiritual journey, but I hope that all former members of the FLDS will eventually be able to have a healthy and genuine relationship with God. Edit: the song makes me so sad. It sounds like they're singing to God at first, but instead it's giving to fallible, fallen, man a level of religious devotion only God deserves.
The song makes me sad because it goes on too long. My ears are bleeding. Yes, Melissa, whenever I hear “keep sweet”, I want to punch someone in the throat.
Maybe 🤔 another good video idea you guys can do is a reaction video to a book written by a FLDS member that is no longer a member. I know Warren Jeffs daughter Rachel Jeff’s and his nephew Brent Jeff’s wrote a book there is many others as well. That would be a great video!
What a sad life for girls and women who were never able to know the rights they had as people and it was hidden from them their whole lives. I get how people question why they put up with the treatment and stayed, but if they had zero knowledge of what it was really like outside of the religion and were brought up sheltered and told from a young age their place in the community, they wouldn't even know about the laws and choices they had because they were not allowed to be exposed to the outside world. It's truly heartbreaking to know that a girl is brought up brainwashed into thinking they are pretty much nothing but someone to make the men in their lives happy no matter what and their jobs were to obey their "prophet", marry who they were assigned to not who they fell in love with, have babies with the husband chosen for them, listen to him always, and keep the house organized. I just can't imagine living like that. I would probably get kicked out because at a young age I was always pretty defiant. But from what I have heard in other families it could be very abusive. It seems that Sam was lucky and at least had a decent father and mothers who did not abuse their kids to the degree others endured. I am so glad Sam left and learned what it's like to be in a good relationship and can raise children to be happy and explore the world with an open mind and heart and not be sheltered.
You spoke of how common abuse was in many FLDS households, and being thankful that Sam escaped it. I remember hearing that abuse is learned, and is so pervasive, that it seems a bit surprising that abuse had not spread throughout ALL the families.
Your videos are so fascinating. I feel the emotions and probably the wonder of where to actually put the nostalgia. How to feel it. How to let it co-exist with one's new thoughts and insights. How to make sense of the connections one must still feel to their past, even once they realized they need to walk away from it completely. I remember struggling to find a place for all of my wonderful experiences and memories I had from being in the Black mega church culture in ATL when I was a teenager during the 90s. I loved so much of that experience. But alas, my inner hippy, free expressing Lilith side started calling to me. I hear these songs and I feel a sense of peace, along with control. I feel sad that so many of these major organized religions don't even acknowledge the Great Mother and sacred feminine of Ultimate Source ("God"). They put so much effort into oppressing the divinity of feminine energy, other than how it might best be expressed in support of the Patriarchy. I Love Great Father and thankful for that expression of the Great I Am, but I grieve because of the suppression of Great Mother energy within women.
Like Melissa this made me fume. These poor girls totally brainwashed into thinking abuse is love. My family switched religions 3 times as I was growing up so I’ve heard a lot of different kinds of church music. They were all about God though - not the minister/priest/pastor...😤
Music is really powerful it can really stir memories and feelings! It actually sounded pretty I was surprised I thought it was going to sound really bad! I feel really bad for all the girls and boys Warren Jeffs abused all in the name of God!
I hate to say it, but to me even the sound of it was bad. The music was pretty, but I loathe that fake sweet voice style of singing. It's like they're trying to project that they're so holy and pure, like they're way above the other people, or like they've been trapped in a Disney movie. I have heard a lot of people who sang like that, and they were anything but the sweetness they were trying to project. It's like when ladies pour a whole bunch of perfume on and then come to church and you start coughing as soon as they walk by.
Love this!! Have you guys ever considered doing a response to sister wives? I know they are a different religion/sect, but I would be fascinated to hear your thoughts!
The actual quality of the instruments and voices is a lot better than I thought it would be. Sounds like they had some accomplished musicians and sound equipment. Melodies and sound like standard religious pop music. But of course the words and subject matter. Yikes. Terrifying.
I still remember the music from the regular LDS church, which I joined, first introduction to any kind of church/christian music ever. I listened to the regular pop station here in town.
I binged the whole channel about 2 weeks ago. Someone asked me where Patagonia was & when I said Chile, it came out the way Sam says it!! “Cheee-le.” I wasn’t even thinking about it, it just came out of my mouth that way!! 🤣😂🥰 Edit: Patagonia is made up of several countries, it was just as I was listing them off, Cheee-le came out.
Chee-lay/Shee-lay? I dated a man from Chile for many months, and had a very dear friend from SHEE-WAH-WAH, Mehico (no typo): Chihuahua. My second language is French, then 3rd, Japanese, some German and Spanish tossed in for the mix, lol.
@@majoroldladyakamom6948 I think mine came out Chee-le, but it wasn’t “Chili”, which is how it’s usually pronounced. AND I did it without thinking. That’s the funny part! Sam probably says it correctly, I just picked it up after a week of one video after the other.
Oh! I thought of another question. I think there were "Short Creek Raids" in the 50s where families were torn apart and tons of people (men) were thrown in prison, with women and children weeping on the sidelines. What is your personal experience with survivors of that raid? I'm sure some of your family members lived through it... did they talk about it much when you were a child?
Music can be powerful in good and bad ways. My father was abusive. And he was a member of the church choir. I lost my faith when I was... I'll say about 20. I cut off my family when I was 22. (My father was abusive, my mother an enabler, my sisters were bullies.) I didn't go to church for years. Then when I was about 27 I decided to go to church on Christmas, not for religious reasons but just to enjoy Christmas music. The very first song the choir sang, I began having PTSD flashbacks about my father. All church choirs kind of sound the same. So my mind was screaming "he's here! he's here!" i know for a fact he wasn't there. This wasn't my family church. My family doesn't even go to church on christmas day. I visually scanned each member of the choir to prove to my brain that he wasn't there. But even still my brain screamed "He's here! You're not safe". I got out of the building and ran to my car, and just broke down in sobs, shaking uncontrollably. All from music. I don't even have major church trauma, but I heard my dad sing in the choir every Sunday for so many years. And when I heard that chorus I couldn't not hear his voice. Seeing him again has been one of my greatest fears in life. Probably THE greatest fear. So when my brain thought I heard his voice in the music I couldn't handle it.
I am new to your channel and I love how respectful you are towards your family and past religions. 1. How does surnames or last names work, does each child and mother take the fathers last name or just the first wife have the fathers last name and her kids other kids keep their mother’s maiden name? 2. You have said that your father and his first wife met in collage, but you have said that education is not important out there. How was your father able to attend college? Did he leave the religion for a while and come back after collage?
Great questions - also wondering if the first wife had trouble adjusting since she converted and if she was/is able to have contact with her family on the outside
The Jehovah Witnesses used the term "meek ones" . Or God's sheep. Kinda reminds me of that too. They teach against self defense and that was the biggest reason I never got baptized when I was one of them( later found out I only THOUGHT I was one,but didn't know a lot , that I know, now after the fact).
Of course, he used music. Music programs the brain faster than normal repetition. Such a sad story of what's happening in so many places like the FLDS.
With some wives marrying super young to older men, what happens to them when the husband dies? Do they remarry, or are they forced to live alone/with their sister wives for the rest of their lives?
This was interesting to listen to. It was obvious it gave lots of memories to Sam’s head and heart. The voices sounded really young . And Sam , your voice is so warm and soothing. You truly are an excellent speaker. I also have a question: as usually there are born equal amounts of boys and girls and the men get to marry multiple women, what would they do with the ‘ leftover’ men/boys? I mean there won’t be enough wives for all the men/boys. Were many boys forced to leave and be ‘ lost boys’ ? Love your videos, thanks for this one! Love from the Netherlands!
Once you get away from a culture like that, you have to process and reprogram your thinking, because the old programming has you thinking that certain things are sin.
I mentioned in your last livestream that I am reading the book by Brent W. Jeffs. I truly understand the abuse you are talking about after hearing his experiences. He mentioned being sexually abused by Warren at 5 and 6 years old. The music played sounds so loving and gentle but it covers up a lot of abuse. Brent mentions in his book being taken to the hospital because of bleeding after the sexual abuse and not being able to tell anyone the truth of what happened.
I have heard this to I read Rachel Jeff’s book The prophets daughter. He was such a sick human being I’m so glad that he was prosecuted and found guilty and that he can no longer abuse children and his followers
Your channel is fascinating. I've never been Mormon but I remember once hearing that they believe women can't ascend to heaven until they are called upon by their husbands. Is that true in either the FLDS or LDS? Thanks!
There are degrees of glory (Heaven) in the LDS church. An unmarried person cannot reach the Celestial glory without marriage. So unmarried people can reach the Telestial and Terrestrial degrees of Glory, but Celestial.
That is messed up to believe you have to be married to get a higher degree of glory. I bet Joseph Smith came up with that idea. Joseph Smith was also a child abuser, and took women who were already married as his wives. I don't understand why people follow these men with warped minds.
Those poor women. No independence. No job. No opinion. I just feel so terribly sad that they think this is how they are to please God. God wants us to be happy and enjoy life. This is no life and it certainly isn’t joyful. 😢
I just drove through Colorado city three days ago and honestly it was a ghost town. Way more rundown than it was even a few years ago when I drove through and as I looked around town there was hardly anybody there. How much of the FLDS still follow warren?
Warren told everyone that followed him to leave Colorado City a few years ago, so the people that are still there aren't true followers of him anymore.
curious if Warren Jeffs would still be doing all he did, freely, if he had just not matched himself and others up with underage girls. How did the mothers not think this was horrible ?
Hi, I've stumbled across your channel completely by accident a couple of weeks ago, watched a few of your videos. I belong to a Reformed church but have always been interested in other denomination. First, the style of music sounds very old order Baptist church music. I love the voices and the harmonies, it's sounds very well sung. Hate the synthesizer, though. 🤣 It's not unusual for a woman or a man to sing a song to God thanking Him for their partner, especially on their wedding day. There are a couple of similar contemporary Christian songs like this that our local radio station plays occasionally. I do wonder if his wives knew that what he was doing to kids was abuse or if they were so brainwashed that they thought it was ok. Telling women to 'keep sweet' is unfortunately not unique to Mormonism. A lot of mainstream church denominations (if not the vast majority) teach that women are to submit to their husbands. I know someone who refuses to set foot in any church because she experienced domestic violence as a young married woman and she she asked for the church's help she was told to go home and submit better. Luckily she was strong enough do divorce the guy regardless, struggled with two babies on her own for a while (she is in her late 50s now, it was way harder to do when she was going through all this than it is now). To this day a lot of churches will not permit divorce except in cases of adultery and even then they tell women it's better to forgive and move on. Err, yeah, don't think so. Anyway, I enjoy your videos, thank you for sharing your life with us
Hi! Did your sister marry Warren Jeffs after Rulon died? I read that most of Rulon wives were remarried to Warren. And who would the wives spend their enteral life with?
I've always wondered what the view is on people with disabilities. I've heard some points of views on it but I was wondering if there was anything you were specifically taught about it.
Don't know where the mic was. Could hear the songs, but the volume on the narrative was pretty weak. The volume on my SKULLCANDY UPROAR WIRELESS headset (sound blocking, Surround Sound) was at max level. Just saying...
Yes it was a bit quite for me...thought my hearing aid battery went out lol. Both of you are so sweet...feels real not put on thank you. Fascinating stories of your unusual life...well certainly different from most of us. ?35?siblings? So how many cousins do you have? One needs to do New Math for that calculation.
@@majoroldladyakamom6948 you think you are funny! I'm usually extremely careful with spelling and correct word usage...pardon my error. As a long time 3rd grade teacher I do know the difference.
What year about was this song recorded? It also reminds me of a specific LDS artist with songs from the 80s/early 90s that I grew up listening to. Curious if this would've been about the same time frame.
It gave me exactly the same feeling. I know some of the wives were underage, but many were in their twenties and thirties. There's a strange thing I've noticed with patriarchal cults and movements, which is that the women all have breathy, high pitched, childlike voices. They don't sound like grown women, and I have to believe that is intentional and encouraged within those groups. A choir of Quiverfull wives could be singing this song and nobody would know the difference.
I am from the Flds. It seemed as though the Jeff's family always had a high pitched voice even if they were older. I think it's just how Warren expected all the ladies to speak and sing
I wonder what the FLDS thinks about more "Mainstream" FLDS groups that live around more worldly people such as the AUB and the Kingston Clan that live in the Salt Lake Valley. Will you consider doing a reaction video to an episode of "Sister Wives", The Brown family from "Sister Wives" are from the AUB. So far, none of the Brown adult children are practicing polygamists
I grew up fundamentalist, not Mormon but a different religion, and when I hear that music now it makes me cringe! I actually physically react to it, it sends shivers up my spine. Hearing them say to keep sweet made me sick to my stomach. The amount of psychological abuse that went on there without anyone, except those in charge, even realizing it, is just mind blowing.
I am having similar feeling as melissa. It's interesting what we find normal or acceptable until someone says no it's not or no you dont have to live that way.
Also a little worried about sam going back to these memories, my husband has a lot of trauma from his past when he goes back to his childhood he gets depressed he hates talking about his past he still has a lot of healing, I am glad sam childhood was overall good and can talk about it.
I believe one of the signs of a cult is when the messenger becomes more important than the message.
Exactly right, Mary.
Totally. I never understood how there was confession in the church. There should be no intermediary between you and God. Not the Pope, not the priest. Makes no sense.
That is a great way to describe a cult.
Religion is mans
way of reaching God. Salvation is God's way of reaching man.
Exactly. When we would sing hymms in church it was about Christ or God not the leaders of the church. Protestant or Catholic the subject of the hymms are the same.
I grew up in a cult. I heard that phrase of keeping sweet a lot. It effected my emotions and it has taken me years of counseling to reprogram. Thinking men controlled heaven and all things was so hard to unlearn without fear and guilt. People didn't understand even as an adult I didn't have the average adult knowledge of the outside world. Music outside of group is still a new adventure for me. I was taught if the skies were blue but the leader said it was raining I was to believe him over my own eyes since he sees what I can not see.
I’m really struck by the childlike pitch and tone of the choir. It really drives home how young the wives participating in the choir may have been-or how aesthetically immature they were encouraged to remain as they aged.
I grew up in the independent Baptist church, and we had musicians who sang like this. They all sounded really preppy, and the girls sounded like little girls singing in these overly sweet voices. This is even worse, though, than anything the IFB produced.
It's a vocal affect. Some of these women were well past middle age. These poor women were mentally, physically and spiritually abused.
they were told to keep softspoken and quiet and dollish
@@bostondarger8359 👍 yes, true. The woman were always told to "Keep Sweet" and this whole vocal effect thing was talked about in the "Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey".
It was NASTY! 🤮
That is what is striking me too as well as just how creepy it is overall. This is a praise song for the one husband for a 100 women? I just can't even process that.
Oh Sam the emotions this music hits you with are so clear and obvious. My heart breaks for you for the loss of family. However I am so glad that you left and have a beautiful family of your own now 😊
It was really interesting to watch Sam's reaction to the song.. It touched him emotionally and you could see the poignancy on his face...and then you could see the warring in his heart and he was able to distance those emotions. I think this is a healthy reaction and we all do them in some ways.
I really appreciate the honesty and the real emotions that you both bring to your channel and the insight to the world! Blessings!!
Thank you so much!
Great video! I studied music in college and would like to address the phenomenon you mentioned at the end of the video. Music makes us feel agreeable because of the chord progressions, which build tonal tension and then resolve to consonance (at the end of a song when it feels final). You can set almost any lyrics to agreeable chords and the music will sound agreeable. The satisfaction you feel is not just due to the words, but due to the physics behind the song-our brains like the chord progressions. I’m Christian (not LDS or FLDS) but even to me this music sounds pleasant because the chord progression is pleasant. This is one reason why I think it’s best not to build a reality purely off of one’s feelings, since feelings come and go and can be so easily manipulated. In my own religion, our feelings are supposed to always be anchored to reality and history. The feelings “get a seat on the bus, but they don’t get to drive it.”-haha.
Having said that, I feel for these women who sing so sincerely and are not allowed to believe God’s love reaches beyond their prophet’s approval. May God bless them and their children and you two as well!
Wow thanks for this explanation! Music is a powerful way to invoke emotion which can be extremely manipulative.
"In my own religion, ourfeelings are supposed to always be anchored to reality and history."
May I ask what religion this is? I'm quite curious. Thanks!!
Thank you so much for this insight. I love what you said about feelings "get a seat on the bus, but they don't get to drive it".
@@kkaye76 Hi Kimberly, I practice Anglican Christianity. I think most orthodox forms of Christianity share this belief and many evangelicals as well. Of course, you can always find individuals who do not agree with this in practice, but when discerning forms of Christianity it's often best to reference their historic, written beliefs and not the practices of individuals since Christianity is for saints and sinners alike. I hope that was helpful!
Thank you for having the courage to share this with us. I found the line at the start of the song referring to Warren as having "pure and childlike ways" to be beyond disturbing because of what is now known about his actions.
You are a lovely couple. God bless you 💜
I totally agree.
Singing songs of praise for a mortal man is disconcerting. Knowing how he abused children makes it all the more sickening.
This man Warren Jeffs , was seriously so damaged mentally and emotionally, his sexual abuse of the children when he was made Principal at the School , and later his twisting and taking of the young girls as wives..he had and still has Absolute Power...
I totally agree.
Alyssa, I love how you ask the questions like you are just learning all these things along with us. I love seeing the look on Sams face as he has such sweet memories.
I believe her name is Melissa(but could be wrong)
@@carlasuannelockett1694 you’re correct :)
Aww thank you so much! =)
@@kmackblack ty for the validation(I have memory issues due to the fact that I have hydrocephalus and occasionally i forget things!
The reason why all those memories come flooding back is because music engages a different part of your brain. There have been studies done that showed that people with advanced dementia, people that don't even know their own birthday anymore, can sing along with songs they listened to a lot when they were younger, remembering most of the lyrics and the melody. That's because your musical memory isn't part of your regular memory and so you can really feel all the emotions connected to certain music whenever you plug into that part of your brain. It feels familiar and soothing because those are the emotions your musical memory attached to this music. I actually play old music to my grandfather who has dementia. He only vaguely recognizes me but he doesn't really remember me at all but when I play familiar music, it's like he wakes up from a dream, from the spell of dementia. In that moment, he acts, talks, and smiles like he used to. You, Sam, started smiling like a young boy in the arms of his mother. It's bittersweet but keep those memories close to your heart, even if they hurt, they are a part of you.
I enjoyed seeing both of your genuine reactions. From the nostalgia to the frustration that both of you feel. Very interesting video!
Thank you so much!
Sam and Melissa, you guys are seriously hilarious. So informative and so entertaining. 😊
Thanks! =)
This was so interesting. Unlike you two, I have never heard music like this. I've heard choir music, but nothing quite like this.
So interesting to hear Sam recalling the programming this music carried, in contrast to Melissa's reaction to the childlike wives declaring obedience.
It was really hard to listen to because of the underlying realities.
This is just so very sad how people can be brainwashed to think this is normal. 😔 I feel so blessed I wasn’t born into this crazy life. I am so happy you were able to get out of this really messed up religion and live a normal life! God bless you both 😊🙏 and thank you for sharing 🙂
Music has the ability to do exactly what you felt when you 1st heard it. I have the same with hymns that I grew up with. Protestant hymnal.
I have just discovered your channel , obviously I have heard of Warren Jeff's but it's nice to hear about it from someone who has lived in that community, thank you for sharing your stories
Thanks and welcome!
Love your videos.
This sounds so much (the melody, soft voice's, minimal instruments..not the words) like music that was approved by my dad, growing up. I however was a lil rebel and had The Beach Boys on cassette tape, I would secretly listen too!!
Haha love that the Beach Boys made you a rebel! Taylor Swift and Hilary Duff made me a rebel too haha =)
Oh my goodness God bless you both!
This brings tears to my eyes I'm sure it's very emotional for you both.
Absolutely 🤗!
I was raised Lutheran. I get chills and tears when our hymns are sung in church.
I want to thank you two for sharing your experiences
Your videos are always so interesting.
You finally showed your shoulders. I’ve waited for this. Don’t you feel free!!!
(Melissa) Hahaha I love that you noticed! It is definitely freeing and a lot cooler (temperature wise haha) here in Vegas. =)
I grew up Catholic and while I haven’t been involved in the church for 15 years, I still find comfort in hymns. Even though I don’t believe in the message of the words, the music still feels like home to me. It’s crazy how emotions are connected with music.
Music is sooo powerful!
Me too. I worked for the Catholic church for 20 years and the music is powerful.
Besides the message the music is what I enjoy about Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve...❤
I find it interesting that they use the songbook from the “apostates”. What other mainstream LDS practices, books, etc. is borrowed from the mainstream church? I would love to also see a video about language. What words were considered cuss words but now you don’t see as a bad word? I’ve lived in stg for 17 years and definitely hear the southern drawl from your sister. Did you work hard to lose the accent? What words seem to be FLDS terminology like “keep sweet”?
Those are great ideas for future videos. We added them to list! I will say that I lost a lot of my accent from learning Spanish and living in Chile for two years.
This is one of your best videos I've seen! (I just found your channel, so I haven't seen all your videos. I started from the beginning of your channel.) You both shared so many raw emotions! I am so impressed with your willingness to give information about your upbringing and past. Thank you for creating this content.
I would be very interested in a video where you explain all of the FLDS lingo. I watched an interview with one of Warren Jeff’s wives who escaped, and I noticed that you and she use similar terms that I am unfamiliar with, and I am interested to understand their meaning!
This is a great idea! Any suggestions on what words you would like us to go over? It's hard for me to think of them off the top of my head since I am so used to them haha.
It's so weird that I have never ever heard that song before and yet I feel at peace because of the tune. I also was raised in the Pentecostal community and hymnal music was very very common in the church sermons.
I have been watching your channel all weekend, I love learning about other people and the different religions and cultures that are outside of the norm. I have maybe 5 videos left and will have finished them all!
Wow, thank you so much!
Hi I'm from Hawaii and enjoy your channel. It is so nice to see a loving and respectful couple. You have shared your life with us in a very open way. I do have a question. What happens to the family if the father passes away? The wives and younger children?
Depending on the ages of the wives and children they will either be remarried to another man or stay with an elder child that has their own family.
Great story, if it were not about the subject they have beautiful voices. Kind of reminds me of the Handmaid tale.
It sounds auto tuned to me.
It’s so sad to think that is all they know. Thanks for sharing. Congratulations on over 10,000 subscribers! Hope y’all have a great weekend.
Thank you so much!
I know it's only been a week, but I've missed you guys! Keep the unique and fabulous content coming! It's true, music transports you to a time and place VERY quickly. It can be a joy or a curse, depending!
Aww thanks for being such a loyal viewer! =)
I love your guys’s videos! I’m not even LDS, I’m Non denominational Christian but I love seeing your guys’s videos and your experiences. I have a lot of respect for all of it. There are a lot of great things that come out of all religious backgrounds. It’s not all negative. Clearly, he is a great guy with great values and you are a beautiful supportive wife but at the same time so independent and strong! Really a beautiful intelligent woman! Lots of love and respect to you and your family! 💛
Great video! Thanks Sam and Melissa great work. 🧡💚
Those poor women who believed they would be stuck with their abuser for all of eternity. My heart goes out to them.
Thank you for sharing about your life with us. I know these are deeply personal memories and experiences. I haven't yet watched your video about your spiritual journey, but I hope that all former members of the FLDS will eventually be able to have a healthy and genuine relationship with God.
Edit: the song makes me so sad. It sounds like they're singing to God at first, but instead it's giving to fallible, fallen, man a level of religious devotion only God deserves.
The song makes me sad because it goes on too long. My ears are bleeding. Yes, Melissa, whenever I hear “keep sweet”, I want to punch someone in the throat.
Maybe 🤔 another good video idea you guys can do is a reaction video to a book written by a FLDS member that is no longer a member. I know Warren Jeffs daughter Rachel Jeff’s and his nephew Brent Jeff’s wrote a book there is many others as well. That would be a great video!
That's a great idea Jennifer!
Thank you so much for watching Bookworm! I agree that it is sad.
What a sad life for girls and women who were never able to know the rights they had as people and it was hidden from them their whole lives. I get how people question why they put up with the treatment and stayed, but if they had zero knowledge of what it was really like outside of the religion and were brought up sheltered and told from a young age their place in the community, they wouldn't even know about the laws and choices they had because they were not allowed to be exposed to the outside world. It's truly heartbreaking to know that a girl is brought up brainwashed into thinking they are pretty much nothing but someone to make the men in their lives happy no matter what and their jobs were to obey their "prophet", marry who they were assigned to not who they fell in love with, have babies with the husband chosen for them, listen to him always, and keep the house organized. I just can't imagine living like that. I would probably get kicked out because at a young age I was always pretty defiant. But from what I have heard in other families it could be very abusive. It seems that Sam was lucky and at least had a decent father and mothers who did not abuse their kids to the degree others endured. I am so glad Sam left and learned what it's like to be in a good relationship and can raise children to be happy and explore the world with an open mind and heart and not be sheltered.
I love your videos, very informative and personal. You two, are very kind precious people. TY for sharing♥️🌵
Awww thank you for watching!
If I got woken up to that playing on an intercom I would die of fright. 😂
You spoke of how common abuse was in many FLDS households, and being thankful that Sam escaped it. I remember hearing that abuse is learned, and is so pervasive, that it seems a bit surprising that abuse had not spread throughout ALL the families.
Your videos are so fascinating. I feel the emotions and probably the wonder of where to actually put the nostalgia. How to feel it. How to let it co-exist with one's new thoughts and insights. How to make sense of the connections one must still feel to their past, even once they realized they need to walk away from it completely. I remember struggling to find a place for all of my wonderful experiences and memories I had from being in the Black mega church culture in ATL when I was a teenager during the 90s. I loved so much of that experience. But alas, my inner hippy, free expressing Lilith side started calling to me. I hear these songs and I feel a sense of peace, along with control. I feel sad that so many of these major organized religions don't even acknowledge the Great Mother and sacred feminine of Ultimate Source ("God"). They put so much effort into oppressing the divinity of feminine energy, other than how it might best be expressed in support of the Patriarchy. I Love Great Father and thankful for that expression of the Great I Am, but I grieve because of the suppression of Great Mother energy within women.
Like Melissa this made me fume. These poor girls totally brainwashed into thinking abuse is love. My family switched religions 3 times as I was growing up so I’ve heard a lot of different kinds of church music. They were all about God though - not the minister/priest/pastor...😤
Which 3 religions were they?
Methodist, Catholic, and born again Christian
@@kirsten737 Religions, or denominations?
Religions. They all thought the other was going to Hell.
Music is really powerful it can really stir memories and feelings! It actually sounded pretty I was surprised I thought it was going to sound really bad! I feel really bad for all the girls and boys Warren Jeffs abused all in the name of God!
I hate to say it, but to me even the sound of it was bad. The music was pretty, but I loathe that fake sweet voice style of singing. It's like they're trying to project that they're so holy and pure, like they're way above the other people, or like they've been trapped in a Disney movie. I have heard a lot of people who sang like that, and they were anything but the sweetness they were trying to project. It's like when ladies pour a whole bunch of perfume on and then come to church and you start coughing as soon as they walk by.
Love this!! Have you guys ever considered doing a response to sister wives? I know they are a different religion/sect, but I would be fascinated to hear your thoughts!
We will definitely be doing a reaction video to Sister Wives. Probably in the next few weeks. =)
The actual quality of the instruments and voices is a lot better than I thought it would be. Sounds like they had some accomplished musicians and sound equipment. Melodies and sound like standard religious pop music. But of course the words and subject matter. Yikes. Terrifying.
I still remember the music from the regular LDS church, which I joined, first introduction to any kind of church/christian music ever. I listened to the regular pop station here in town.
I binged the whole channel about 2 weeks ago. Someone asked me where Patagonia was & when I said Chile, it came out the way Sam says it!! “Cheee-le.” I wasn’t even thinking about it, it just came out of my mouth that way!! 🤣😂🥰
Edit: Patagonia is made up of several countries, it was just as I was listing them off, Cheee-le came out.
Chee-lay/Shee-lay? I dated a man from Chile for many months, and had a very dear friend from SHEE-WAH-WAH, Mehico (no typo): Chihuahua.
My second language is French, then 3rd, Japanese, some German and Spanish tossed in for the mix, lol.
Pategonia is also an amazing name brand for cold-weather gear, hiking to the Mountain tops around the World in Winter, etc.
Peace.
@@majoroldladyakamom6948 I think mine came out Chee-le, but it wasn’t “Chili”, which is how it’s usually pronounced. AND I did it without thinking. That’s the funny part! Sam probably says it correctly, I just picked it up after a week of one video after the other.
@@majoroldladyakamom6948 Yes, however the question was WHERE is Patagonia, so there wasn’t any confusion. 🙂
Hahaha that is AWESOME Erin!!!!
Another interesting video! Thank you both. I love your work!
I have often sent my children iff to school and said be sweet instead of be good...Gosh I had no connection to the reasons you are speaking of...❤
Just abstractly, I like the music. It's very sweet and soothing and I enjoy the harmony.
is there a version without the interruptions? I really like this song.
Love your channel,I'm fascinated by all this ! X
Glad you enjoy it!
Reminds me of the song " Praise to the man" about Joseph Smith.
Oh! I thought of another question. I think there were "Short Creek Raids" in the 50s where families were torn apart and tons of people (men) were thrown in prison, with women and children weeping on the sidelines. What is your personal experience with survivors of that raid? I'm sure some of your family members lived through it... did they talk about it much when you were a child?
Somehow after 8+ years I remember this song word for word🤯
Music can stay with you forever. I know it does with me as well.
In your childhood were you ever able to take music lessons like piano, violin, etc?
My aunt actually taught piano lessons and my mother and some of my sisters were pianists.
Music can be powerful in good and bad ways. My father was abusive. And he was a member of the church choir. I lost my faith when I was... I'll say about 20. I cut off my family when I was 22. (My father was abusive, my mother an enabler, my sisters were bullies.) I didn't go to church for years. Then when I was about 27 I decided to go to church on Christmas, not for religious reasons but just to enjoy Christmas music. The very first song the choir sang, I began having PTSD flashbacks about my father. All church choirs kind of sound the same. So my mind was screaming "he's here! he's here!" i know for a fact he wasn't there. This wasn't my family church. My family doesn't even go to church on christmas day. I visually scanned each member of the choir to prove to my brain that he wasn't there. But even still my brain screamed "He's here! You're not safe". I got out of the building and ran to my car, and just broke down in sobs, shaking uncontrollably. All from music.
I don't even have major church trauma, but I heard my dad sing in the choir every Sunday for so many years. And when I heard that chorus I couldn't not hear his voice. Seeing him again has been one of my greatest fears in life. Probably THE greatest fear. So when my brain thought I heard his voice in the music I couldn't handle it.
I think it sounds beautiful.
"Truth is beauty, beauty truth"
-John Keats
I just want to say that i love your chanel from Lithuania far far away ❤️ comment for algorithm! Good luck!
Thank you so much!!
Can't wait for the video!!
I am new to your channel and I love how respectful you are towards your family and past religions.
1. How does surnames or last names work, does each child and mother take the fathers last name or just the first wife have the fathers last name and her kids other kids keep their mother’s maiden name?
2. You have said that your father and his first wife met in collage, but you have said that education is not important out there. How was your father able to attend college? Did he leave the religion for a while and come back after collage?
Great questions - also wondering if the first wife had trouble adjusting since she converted and if she was/is able to have contact with her family on the outside
"Keep Sweet"=Grooming in this community, it seems.
Brainwashing has been a part of this community for years and years!
The new target ads have keep sweet in them.
The Jehovah Witnesses used the term "meek ones" . Or God's sheep. Kinda reminds me of that too. They teach against self defense and that was the biggest reason I never got baptized when I was one of them( later found out I only THOUGHT I was one,but didn't know a lot , that I know, now after the fact).
I am just wondering if Warren Jeff's wives are still living together, or what are their lives like now?
I don't know for sure.
Of course, he used music. Music programs the brain faster than normal repetition. Such a sad story of what's happening in so many places like the FLDS.
I’m a long way from my religious upbringing, and the music still moves me.
Music is powerful.
With some wives marrying super young to older men, what happens to them when the husband dies? Do they remarry, or are they forced to live alone/with their sister wives for the rest of their lives?
They are reassigned to other men.
Music is very powerful during A Therapeutic Massage...Music can have power when shopping and eating too....
This was interesting to listen to. It was obvious it gave lots of memories to Sam’s head and heart. The voices sounded really young .
And Sam , your voice is so warm and soothing. You truly are an excellent speaker. I also have a question: as usually there are born equal amounts of boys and girls and the men get to marry multiple women, what would they do with the ‘ leftover’ men/boys? I mean there won’t be enough wives for all the men/boys. Were many boys forced to leave and be ‘ lost boys’ ? Love your videos, thanks for this one! Love from the Netherlands!
Lord, I can’t imagine having to be that worshipful toward my husband who is a really good guy, much less someone like Jeffs 🤢
Once you get away from a culture like that, you have to process and reprogram your thinking, because the old programming has you thinking that certain things are sin.
song start at 4:49
So my older sister really didn’t like getting up in the mornings - my dad would put bagpipe music on - right outside her door 🤣
I mentioned in your last livestream that I am reading the book by Brent W. Jeffs. I truly understand the abuse you are talking about after hearing his experiences. He mentioned being sexually abused by Warren at 5 and 6 years old. The music played sounds so loving and gentle but it covers up a lot of abuse. Brent mentions in his book being taken to the hospital because of bleeding after the sexual abuse and not being able to tell anyone the truth of what happened.
This is horrible. Glad he is in jail
I have heard this to I read Rachel Jeff’s book The prophets daughter. He was such a sick human being I’m so glad that he was prosecuted and found guilty and that he can no longer abuse children and his followers
This breaks my heart. I am glad he is locked away forever.
Your channel is fascinating. I've never been Mormon but I remember once hearing that they believe women can't ascend to heaven until they are called upon by their husbands. Is that true in either the FLDS or LDS? Thanks!
Totally true in the flds
Also true in mainstream Mormonism
Both religions believe that in order to achieve the highest level of exaltation, a woman must be sealed to a man.
There are degrees of glory (Heaven) in the LDS church. An unmarried person cannot reach the Celestial glory without marriage. So unmarried people can reach the Telestial and Terrestrial degrees of Glory, but Celestial.
That is messed up to believe you have to be married to get a higher degree of glory. I bet Joseph Smith came up with that idea. Joseph Smith was also a child abuser, and took women who were already married as his wives. I don't understand why people follow these men with warped minds.
Those poor women. No independence. No job. No opinion. I just feel so terribly sad that they think this is how they are to please God. God wants us to be happy and enjoy life. This is no life and it certainly isn’t joyful. 😢
Oppression is huge in these brainwashed communities. They are so uneducated that they probably have no idea what oppression is.
Where can I hear the whole cd? 😊
I just watched a whole morman add before your birthday… it was interesting
I just drove through Colorado city three days ago and honestly it was a ghost town. Way more rundown than it was even a few years ago when I drove through and as I looked around town there was hardly anybody there. How much of the FLDS still follow warren?
Warren told everyone that followed him to leave Colorado City a few years ago, so the people that are still there aren't true followers of him anymore.
curious if Warren Jeffs would still be doing all he did, freely, if he had just not matched himself and others up with underage girls.
How did the mothers not think this was horrible ?
Hi, I've stumbled across your channel completely by accident a couple of weeks ago, watched a few of your videos. I belong to a Reformed church but have always been interested in other denomination. First, the style of music sounds very old order Baptist church music. I love the voices and the harmonies, it's sounds very well sung. Hate the synthesizer, though. 🤣 It's not unusual for a woman or a man to sing a song to God thanking Him for their partner, especially on their wedding day. There are a couple of similar contemporary Christian songs like this that our local radio station plays occasionally. I do wonder if his wives knew that what he was doing to kids was abuse or if they were so brainwashed that they thought it was ok. Telling women to 'keep sweet' is unfortunately not unique to Mormonism. A lot of mainstream church denominations (if not the vast majority) teach that women are to submit to their husbands. I know someone who refuses to set foot in any church because she experienced domestic violence as a young married woman and she she asked for the church's help she was told to go home and submit better. Luckily she was strong enough do divorce the guy regardless, struggled with two babies on her own for a while (she is in her late 50s now, it was way harder to do when she was going through all this than it is now). To this day a lot of churches will not permit divorce except in cases of adultery and even then they tell women it's better to forgive and move on. Err, yeah, don't think so. Anyway, I enjoy your videos, thank you for sharing your life with us
Hi! Did your sister marry Warren Jeffs after Rulon died? I read that most of Rulon wives were remarried to Warren. And who would the wives spend their enteral life with?
She was remarried to one of Warren's brothers. They believe they will spend their eternal life with their first husbands.
This is random, but could you do a video on the god squad and what the policing was like?
Great idea! We put it on the list.
I've always wondered what the view is on people with disabilities. I've heard some points of views on it but I was wondering if there was anything you were specifically taught about it.
The song sounds like a lullaby. Is that done on purpose to lul people into a false sense of security?
Don't know where the mic was. Could hear the songs, but the volume on the narrative was pretty weak. The volume on my SKULLCANDY UPROAR WIRELESS headset (sound blocking, Surround Sound) was at max level.
Just saying...
Yes it was a bit quite for me...thought my hearing aid battery went out lol. Both of you are so sweet...feels real not put on thank you. Fascinating stories of your unusual life...well certainly different from most of us. ?35?siblings? So how many cousins do you have? One needs to do New Math for that calculation.
@@patsykluting-lucas3804
Q U I T E so versus
Q U I E T... low volume... Thanks for the grammatical giggle.
Love you!.
@@majoroldladyakamom6948 you think you are funny! I'm usually extremely careful with spelling and correct word usage...pardon my error. As a long time 3rd grade teacher I do know the difference.
Yayyy!!! Another video ❤️
What music do you enjoy now, Sam?
What year about was this song recorded? It also reminds me of a specific LDS artist with songs from the 80s/early 90s that I grew up listening to. Curious if this would've been about the same time frame.
This would have been recorded in the early 2000s. =)
The song sounds like it was sung by a young girls’ choir ( and it probably was).
It gave me exactly the same feeling. I know some of the wives were underage, but many were in their twenties and thirties. There's a strange thing I've noticed with patriarchal cults and movements, which is that the women all have breathy, high pitched, childlike voices. They don't sound like grown women, and I have to believe that is intentional and encouraged within those groups. A choir of Quiverfull wives could be singing this song and nobody would know the difference.
Yeah, his youngest “wife” was 12
I am from the Flds. It seemed as though the Jeff's family always had a high pitched voice even if they were older.
I think it's just how Warren expected all the ladies to speak and sing
One of Warren's wives taught me school and she had a very high pitched voice like in these songs.
Sounds similar to the Janice Kapp Perry music in the LDS church
I wonder what the FLDS thinks about more "Mainstream" FLDS groups that live around more worldly people such as the AUB and the Kingston Clan that live in the Salt Lake Valley. Will you consider doing a reaction video to an episode of "Sister Wives", The Brown family from "Sister Wives" are from the AUB. So far, none of the Brown adult children are practicing polygamists
Could (or did) the FLDS listen to Classical music (particularly before Wareen Jeffs)?
I also immediately thought this sounded similar to LDS hymns wild!
I grew up fundamentalist, not Mormon but a different religion, and when I hear that music now it makes me cringe! I actually physically react to it, it sends shivers up my spine. Hearing them say to keep sweet made me sick to my stomach. The amount of psychological abuse that went on there without anyone, except those in charge, even realizing it, is just mind blowing.
I agree. It is hard to hear once you know better.
I am having similar feeling as melissa. It's interesting what we find normal or acceptable until someone says no it's not or no you dont have to live that way.
Also a little worried about sam going back to these memories, my husband has a lot of trauma from his past when he goes back to his childhood he gets depressed he hates talking about his past he still has a lot of healing, I am glad sam childhood was overall good and can talk about it.
This music reminds me alot of the lds hymns, I am a member but for some reason I always hated singing and hearing them 🤷♀️.
Sam's face when the music starts. He does not look very pleased. Might bring back some strange memories.
I wonder what u felt the first time u heard usual music? I experienced that too because we were only allowed to listen to christian music.
Do you have all his recording
I have several, but not all.
🙋🏼♀️ question… did you have a closer relationship with your full-blooded siblings than your half siblings? Thx
Not really, we were closest to the siblings that were our age.
Memories from my childhood too, I am now realizing not good memories. Not a polygamous town but small church, small town.
What is the priesthood?