It was at least a few years ago, but i remember struggling with the way my ex husband was speaking to me. I had a CBT tool to break down my triggers, to help me to "behave myself," when it was him with the problem. He mocked me, in front of my sister and a friend, and I immediately walked away, while he shouted after me to stop making a big deal out of it. I remember using the CBT tool to write out, "just because he mocks me doesnt mean he doesnt have respect for me." I remember staring at that sentence; isn't that exactly what it means?! So the tool I had was limiting my ability to see when things were actual problems and which things werent. By the time i asked him to leave, my ex couldnt bring himself to speak to me in a civil way for a minute at a time. It was crushing. I liked seeing mocking on this list, because it definitely can be invalidating!
Thank you again
It was at least a few years ago, but i remember struggling with the way my ex husband was speaking to me. I had a CBT tool to break down my triggers, to help me to "behave myself," when it was him with the problem. He mocked me, in front of my sister and a friend, and I immediately walked away, while he shouted after me to stop making a big deal out of it.
I remember using the CBT tool to write out, "just because he mocks me doesnt mean he doesnt have respect for me." I remember staring at that sentence; isn't that exactly what it means?! So the tool I had was limiting my ability to see when things were actual problems and which things werent. By the time i asked him to leave, my ex couldnt bring himself to speak to me in a civil way for a minute at a time. It was crushing.
I liked seeing mocking on this list, because it definitely can be invalidating!