AITA for being disabled
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He's upset about having to pick you up but acting like he won't be upset to see your car wrapped around a pole with you in it?
depends on how blind, my dad is in his 70s, literally can't see out of one eye but still has a drivers license and can drive, though doesn't most of the time.
@dacookiemasta since doctors recommend against OP driving, then that advice should be followed. Most driver's licenses require a person to take a regular vision test anyway,so it's probable that OP would not even be able to get a license if they tried.
@@cathleenc6943doctors said I shouldn’t drive. My mom had me drive one time and I almost totaled the car on the way to the destination. She drove me home and switched my drivers permit to a state ID
I am starting to think those parents would prefer that
@@maddieg563 then yeah, driving sounds like a really bad idea. Sorry to hear it.
Having a disabled child is difficult, but never let it out on the kid.
everyone should get together and work it out.
hope the parents will come along
Kid just speaks like an entitled brat...
@@jop23ify Kid has disabilities, can't function like a normal person. Gets called "entitled" cuz her father lost it after having to take care of HIS CHILD. The audacity that he has to man up and deal with things!
@@jop23ify no shes telling the truth, shes the one dealing with major disabilities day to day, her parents need to get over themselves, they arent the victims
@@karachterthey aren’t the victims but it is probably very stressful for them to deal with a disabled child. It is a little entitled to know understand the difficulties it is causing them
@@karachteralso they are an adult not a kid so it is pretty entitled
Um. With a doctor telling you that you shouldn't drive, you won't legally be allowed to drive.
Do you think that soon enough the self driving cars could be advanced enough to accommodate the handicapped?
@@cassandrareedy7369I mean not for a while considering it would still need humans to assist in minor ways since it’s not 100% fool proof
@@sanicinapanic4264 I wish her the best that can be achieved under the circumstances. I have a def and partially blind friend who drives and an epileptic friend who drives too. When there's a will there's a way. If OP is disabled, she can also get a ride for almost free through her medical insurance. Even state insurance provides them. It's advisable that she remains grateful and empathetic to her family if she prefers their care. I've seen too many children get placed in assisted living who could have been more appreciative of their families. Gratitude and humility are essential when disabled. Unfortunately the way OP feels is justified, yet counterproductive.
@@cassandrareedy7369 it’s complicated, there’s a lot of bugs to work out, and there would still need some human intervention. Also self driving cars are excessively expensive. so most people who would need a self driving car just to get around would not be able to afford it and even with higher demand and more resources, since there’s only a couple of brands that do self driving cars, they can put the price wherever they like. And cars are still seen as a luxury item.
@@Archive224 there are $3 rides available through disability, medicare, and madicaid. If planned in advance they are free. Different states in the US have awesome programs. OP should be more understanding that she is a burden (not that it's her fault, just that she has options) and should be grateful, not dismissive of finding a way to make it on her own or with other help. No good parent wants their child to be dependent on them. It's our job to encourage them to take as much responsibility as they are capable of. Driving herself may not be safe, but biting the hand that feeds and looking a gift horse in the mouth is dangerous. I would hate to see her end up in an assisted living situation.
NTA. These are the risks and responsibilities we take on when having kids. If you can't fulfill your duty as a parent to your disabled child, give them the financial means to have someone else do those duties or shut it.
or... leave them in the woods for the wolves - RIGHT?
She's an adult. She's going to have to figure it out one day, one way or another.
It'd be nice for her parents to continue to help her out, but it's no longer their obligation. She needs to find a solution to her own life and stop expecting others to coddle her
She is not a child but a fully grown woman....
He could kick ger out and cut all contact legally if he wants to
Child ! 22 isn't a child
Hey, it annoys me to do my part as your parent so you should learn to drive even though it would be very dangerous for you to do so. And probably illegal depending on the laws where we live. 10/10 logic. Fucking hell.
How blind? I know many people who are legally blind without corrective lenses who have jobs driving.
Your parents are donkeys. Selfish.
@@rrteppo I don't think it's so much the slightly blind part though that's probably a factor but more so her muscles issues the most common is hypotonia which makes motor task more difficult so driving is very hard
driving requires decent reflexes to avoid accidents and visual awareness to react to those around you😅
@@rrteppoWhen the doctor saus you can't then you can't. You don't get to ask how blind, you dumbsh!t
@@lestell2158 Yes, i am sure driving would be difficult, but at the same time this girl seems entirely uninterested.
A looot of people in the chat blaming OP for something she literally can't control (having a disability) and getting mad at her being 'entitled' (her being frustrated she's being lectured about driving, when she legally, physically and mentally can't do that.)
Are you surprised?
@@naturalborndylla I guess not really. able bodies neurotypicals are literally the WORST when it comes to trying to empathise with other human beings that are even /slightly/ different.
@@courtofcryptids7626 as an aneurotypical, OP could have worded it better as how they said it, was in fact rude. If possible they could also try to get a bus pass or walk if they're well sighted enough and the place is close.
@@kingnightmarevin Anxiety disorder, and vision issues. So a bus is a no. and walking is another very able bodied thing to consider, because I doubt she's got a service animal to navigate every day life. All the information was there, neurotypicals just don't care to actually consider them problems that actually affect people. Considering you've come into here complaining about her tone, rather than the fact that all these areas of life are completely inaccessible for some people shows exactly what my point was. you're still blaming OP as if its something she can control.
@@courtofcryptids7626 how is the bus a no due to their anxiety and vision issues when OP said they usually take a bus, the one they were waiting on just never showed up. I'm confused if you're referring to someone else or if you just missed that part...
You KNOW it’s bad when the badly disabled person says “he’s worse than me”
Totally depends on person. I know 2 seriously disabled people(barely can walk in their own house) whose "worse than me" comment would be totally on different levels.
1 is sweet angel who I have only once heard loosing her temper in 10 years i have known her.
2 is angry old lady who is mad at the coffee cup for being so hot when it has new coffee in it.
Depending with end OP is that "worse than me" makes large difference.
I took that comment to mean, "he's more childish than his actual child" which made me chuckle.
@@natk1105 LMAO this made me chuckle too
@samuelsilver807tbf old people are often just assholes so like7
OP should talk to the public transportation department in their area, since most have extended services for disabled people, like at home pick up drop off if they need to go places that the busses can't get them to, or other assistances that are not avaible to the general public.
The issue with transportation (in my experience) is that only medical appointments are free. You have to pay a couple bucks to go other places and it sounds like OP doesn’t have much left after paying for her share of bills and suck.
@@alexismyers6053 it depends on the location, as different cities have different rules.
@@cathleenc6943This is true. Unfortunately, however, public transit in some places is either massively unreliable or just straight up non-existent.
Where I live, public transit is free and there is a call-a-ride/paratransit option for people who otherwise can't use the transit fully. You have to apply and there are 3 levels of qualifications you can have but it's also free and you just call to make an appointment of when to be picked up/dropped off. I just recently applied and am eligible so hopefully this takes a load off of other people having to cart me around. Everyone should be aware of the resources in their area!!
The problem with this is that where I live for example this services exist but are not functional because the people who should be trained to help disabled people are actually not trained and hate helping disabled people because it costs them time that they would rather be driving already because reaching your stops late can apparently get you punished… they also often have excuses like the platform for wheelchairs not working when it’s actually a platform you pull out by hand or the front door for the blind not working but actually the driver’s supervisor is lazy and already sitting in the seat for the blind and doesn’t want to move… and when it comes to staff to help you on and off the train there is often just no staff available or they are extremely rude specially if you are an ambulatory wheelchair user…
Dad sounds like my husband complaining about the restrictions my doctor put on me while pregnant. I chose sarcasm “Yes I can go hiking with you. What kind of coffin are you going to get me? Are you going to get a matching mini one for the unborn baby?”
“It would be easier if you could drive…..”it would be easier if you would stop taking your minor inconveniences out on your literal child. AH.
Asking a disabled child to do something they can’t because YOU don’t feel like dealing with it isn’t parenting, it’s just keeping a kid. The most common accidental deaths happen because of driving, and asking your child who has been told multiple times that they can’t drive for their safety to go do the exact opposite is child endangerment, if I’m completely honest.
My daughter has type 1 diabetes. While it's not something you can prevent or even anticipate, I would never get mad at her for needing me even when she's an adult. Those parents are awful.
I am a disabled adult. My mother has always been the same, but will drive 3 hours each way to help my golden child sister out. And I still get people saying “you’re not really disabled, you’re just seeking attention”
NO ONE WOULD CHOOSE THIS. NO ONE.
Mhm, I am disabled myslef and I can confirm that if I had to choose between being normal instead of how I am now I might have to think about it for a while but in most cicomstances I would choose to just finaly be normal.
She’s not the one who caused those problems, some might genetic and maybe some came from the parents. And it’s just a ride, can’t believe they want their child to drive even though it’s unsafe. If they want to work around these problems find a counselor to help their daughter and for them to learn to love their daughter.
Cause she's not a child anymore. She could work from home and make way more and save everyone the trip
@@Havis_Princess That acts like home jobs are really common. They’re not they’re very competitive market so the majority people who need them can’t get them. It’s not a cut and dry.
@@Havis_Princesstell me you’re a child who’s never worked a day in their life without telling me you’re a child who’s never worked a day in their life.
@Havis_Princess She can't have a full-time job.
Do you know how much time it takes to save enough money to live by yourself?
@@Havis_Princess wow, such a great solution to someone that said that they have low muscle issues. what's next? wanna gift a blind man a car? or maybe give a kick with no legs a motorcycle?
His suggestion was stupid as shit. Not only would it be completely unsafe, but a vision test is required to be able to get a driver’s license. If someone is diagnosed with partial blindness or fails the vision test, they cannot legally receive a license. If he wanted to work with OP to figure out alternatives (I know some places have cheap/free rides for the disabled) then he could present that without telling his child to do something that doctors have advised again, is not legal, is liable to get someone killed if it were to actually happen
NTA. The problem here is that the father was telling this person to try to do something that they literally can't do, that would be dangerous even for them to do (if they ever managed to get a license, it could put them and others at risk), because their child's disability is an inconvenience to them. I understand the father's frustration, but he can talk about it with someone who isn't op. Just like the parents didn't ask for a disabled child, op didn't ask to be born disabled either. People here seem to think that it's not the parents' obligation to take care of them... it is. They literally can't live on their own. A parent doesn't stop being a parent after their child turns 18. Idk about anywhere else, but in my country if the family abandons someone that disabled the family can even get legal trouble. It's considered neglect.
Should op be thankful? Yes, but nothing here says that they aren't. It's just that the father was being inconsiderate. It's like asking a person in a wheelchair "hey, can't you just try to walk? Its annoying that I have to help you up the stairs". (Remember that even if you have these disabilities and can drive, they look different for everyone. I'm autistic and can't drive because of it, but i have autistic friends who do drive and are fine. If the doctors are saying op shouldn't...)
My son had those disabilities and more. I wish he still did. I never minded taking him anywhere. Those parents should appreciate their child while they still have them. I would give anything to have my son back.
My partner has panic attacks and it would be incredibly dangerous for her to be put into an incredibly stressful situation like driving a car that would trigger a panic attack
Her safety is more important to me than her being ‘independent’, grown adults need help sometimes, especially if they have conditions that make it impossible for them to be ‘independent’
She’s lucky to have you ig. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a giant support net to stop us from growing. Maybe we should all accept our fears and cry behind the wheel
My parents want me to get a service dog when I move out (I’m deaf). When you’re disabled, you lose some independence for your own safety.
@@Loast_Toaststop ua from growing?? Support nets help one grow. Don't twll em you are neurotypical and able-bodied
@@windjager2177 depends on how the “support” lays out. She just has someone to fix her problems with no effort. When he pushes her to independence she cried about it. That’s not a good support net. a good support net is some money not someone else who will do anything for you.
Wow do some people not realise that that anxiety can vary based on the person?? Yknow like pretty much all disabilities? Also I don’t think op even meant to come off as rude or entitled or whatever, she just wanted for her parents to be more understanding of her not take her everywhere all the time (she literally mentions other uses of transport). But yeah she probably could’ve communicated it better + needs to talk it out with her parents, if they still don’t understand her point when she tries to explain then I *(personally)* don’t think op is the asshole
This is the first rug I’ve seen on here that just ain’t gonna make it. Permanent stains all over it.
Nta. When you have a kid, you are signing up for EVERYTHING that child might come with. Some things might be able to be fixed or improved, but kids aren't a damn coloring book and you don't get to completely pick how they turn out.
As I jokes to my family one day I said “I got 18-life for my 1st offense and LIFE with no parole for my 2nd offense!” In regards to my kids. My 2 child is my 27yo son who is severely autistic. My oldest is a 28yo daughter who has been diagnosed with Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia….basically the 3 nerves on her left side of her skull are shooting nonstop pain a crossed her face on the left side. It never stops! Awake, asleep, eating or drinking or just breathing hurts. Her disease is commonly known as the suicide disease. This is what GOD gave her for her 21st birthday. But her dad gave her a fantastic 22nd bday present when he left me and them saying he wished he’d never had kids! I will take care of my kids to the best of my abilities until I die. I do not understand parents who think having a kid is a paycheck later on. It doesn’t always work out that way! Grow up and man-up as a parent!
Would love for her to get him to take her to the DMV only for the DMV to shut that shit down due to her medical issues. Might even lead to a APS case against her mom and dad over it. I know OP probably wouldn't want the APS part but it might be the eye opener for either OP on how her parents really feel towards her or them on how wrong they are if they actually truly care.
Driving someone places all the time is annoying but if that person is disabled and your child then unless you figure out a sustainable long term ride share or something it’s your responsibility to get them where they need to be
NTA. I have similar disabilities including one that causes me to faint at any given moment. I am constantly told I should practice driving more. I don’t want to put myself or others in danger. No reason when there are other ways.
NTA. Here’s the thing, it’s hard having a disabled child, it’s a bigger commitment then an abled one and it can be really exhausting but you should never let it out on your kid or make them feel bad they are disabled. Trust me as someone with ADHD,Dyslexia, likely on the spectrum and physical disabled making it so simple tasks like driving my car to work physically hurts the disabled person is dealing with enough already and they don’t need to feel shame or like a burden for something they can’t help. OP’s parent are probably tired but that doesn’t excuse their behavior towards OP since it literally isn’t OP’s fault
Solid arguments, but she's not a child.
She's a fullx grown woman and by law the father doesn't have to di anything anymore if he wants to
@@PapaCha0syeah that’s true, that’s why I think she is sounding a little entitled
I agree with everything you said. But not every parent of a disabled person is well enough physically, financially, or emotionally to be able to provide. Some are simply unwilling. I had the privilege of working at an assisted living home. The disability money was just enough to pay for care, but not enough to get their own residence. The families of most never visited. I asked a few why and it was unanimous. They understood it was too difficult for their families. OP was not humble or empathetic about the burden. If she bites the hand that feeds, she could easily be placed in a home. I highly recommend she develop as many skills as possible to avoid being taken care of for the rest of her life.
@@PapaCha0s I know lol I worded that weird sorry! I meant like she’s a person who they birthed and raised not that she was a literal child. I probably should have used the word kid or like offspring or something
@@omdeshmukh1you are a pathetic child that needs to sit down in the corner and think.
I don't get what offended him?
He’s offended by being called out 😂
Offended by the truth
She's not a disabled child. She is a disabled adult.
Are you not your parent's child after you become an adult?? She didn't say she is a child in general, she said that her parents made a child who is disabled. Also, when did OP state their age?
What does that have to do with anything.
disability is still disability, and though she has more abilities to do things like get jobs, maintaining those jobs is still hard when you can’t drive or perform to the same level as everyone else because disability does that.
Supports are needed, do you believe that once someone turns 18 they should be able to do everything by themselves. there are people without disabilities, who still rely on their parents to a far higher degree than she does and that’s not a bad thing.
@@Archive224idk where op is. But a lot of jobs in the US literally ask if you have a car/can drive on the application
@@Archive224 Kids depending on their parent aint anything new, jsut describing Poster(disabled in the story) as an child makes it seem like she is underage.
But as she is an adult there is no legal requirement for her parents to support her.
Sure parents should still help their kids even if they are older BUT taking it for granted is something I have issues with.
Also Poster seriously needs to find a way to keep herself alive soon as it aint likely that her parents are rich enough to help her after their death wiht money.
SHe needs to find somekind of work and support network outside of her parents for BOTH of their sake
@@samuelsilver8077 dude, the poster literally said that she can't get more than a part time job and even if she could find one, she can't drive. not to mention, OP doesn't even ask for her parents to drive her places often, probably just a few times a week and that's what dad's bitching and moaning about
Just because your legal requirements end at 18 doesn’t mean your moral requirements end. A child is a LIFELONG commitment and if your not willing to make it don’t have kids the legal limit is not something you should strive for it is literally just there for the worst of the worst parents
And depending on how strong the disabilities are, legal requirements may be past age 18
The term "legally blind" exists for a reason. I'm just fairly shortsighted, but I am legally unable to drive without wearing up to date prescription glasses - because I literally cannot read the road signs telling me what spead to go and all that other miinorly important stuff that keeps people safe on and around roads. My depth perception is not great either. Chances of me bodging a bumper while parking are probably significantly higher than anyone parked next to me would like. It's just an all around terrible idea. I'm enough of a menace on a bike.
Absolutely NTA, It is EXTREMELY dangerous for op to drive since they're blind and have other disabilities. I'm also disabled and can't drive (not blind, just have some neurological issues), so I kind of understand op's issue here. Luckily, my parents aren't like this.
I guess all should respect each other more, talk it out and try to see things from others' perspective. It's not unreasonable for op to ask for a ride if they can’t drive safely nor for their parents to not like picking them up, especially if it's not daily or anything. Yes, op is an adult but turning 18 doesn't magically get rid of your disabilities. Disabilities, especially mental, can work very differently with different people so the whole "me/someone I know has the same disability and can drive and have a full-time job" argument I see in the comments is invalid since we don't know op's medical details (and we shouldn't)
I have schizophrenia but I’m high functioning and drive and work
full time. i was raised in wealthy suburb that im priced out of for housing due only being mentally/emotionally able to work minimum wage jobs. My parents forbade from moving out of state/faraway where things are more affordable. But also get angry that i still live with them. im disabled im doing my best and apparently that isnt good enough.
"You should learn to drive so I don't have to drive you" I'M PARTIALLY BLIND??
I worked on an assisted living long time ago. One resident had his license. However, he wasn't able to see well and other issues. He was only allowed to drive 10 miles from home. To get food, etc....
NTA. It is one thing if this was self inflicted issues, but it isn't. Any parent that wants their child of any age to take a risk that could end in the result of that child losing their life or killing another needs to re-evaluate their priorities.
If you cash the car and die
Dad: This is my fault
Every parent says they'll love their kid unconditionally until their kid has conditions that require their help that they "didn't sign up for" like hun, YOU PLAYED YOURSELF
Well it was a bit unsensitive, but he acted way worse by encouraging you to do something dangerous and probably illegal.
Bro got all the debuffs 💀
Girl I get you on some of that stuff. I have ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety/OCD and although it's not enough to impacted me in a big way my eye sight is not cute. I know it can be difficult but maybe you could of said it in a nicer way.😅
There seems to be a LOT of different options on this one as well. I agree with all. You could have maybe nit said it like that but at the same time he is the parent..... sometimes it's out of your control and what might happen if you do drive. If you got hurt because you drove when you were not sopost to we might be having an entirely different conversation
NTA, but while blindness is a reason why they shouldn’t drive, I don’t understand why they needed to mention anxiety. I have anxiety as well but it doesn’t stop me from driving or doing other things. A lot of people have anxiety and get by just fine. Not trying to rant, just confused.
OP might have disabling anxiety, not many have that and it can hold you back from a lot especially if it's never treated
My brother is legally blind and I tend to drive him places when my mom can't, even though he's an adult (public transportation is basically non existent in our area, and he has too much anxiety to use Uber or Lyft). He's told me multiple times how frustrating it is that he can't drive, saying how he feels too reliant on others, how it limits his freedom, etc. Imagine feeling that way, and someone says they hate having to pick you up and drive you everywhere
Moving to a community with good public transportation will solve all of these problems.
On the other hand, most disabled people I know work really hard to be as independent as possible, and this person sounds like they are wallowing in it. What is going to happen to them if something happens to the parents?
Disablities are hard and it takes a lot of work to be independent, if they lose their family they will probably stay with another family/friends or request goverment assistments, OR just flat out go homeless.
Wow it’s almost like non of the disabled people you know are this girl :))))) if you know one disabled person, you know one disabled person. Literally everyone has different abilities, even if they technically have the same condition
The OP isn't wallowing in her disability. She gets around on her own. This incident occured because the bus didn't work. Maybe the dad is just resentful that he didn't have an able-bodied kid
@jezeannwilliams1145 It takes a lot to be a caregiver, and it wears on a person. It is possible to love the person you are caring for and to be exhausted from it. I've been on both sides of this to some degree, and understand where both are coming from.
@andih1761 You are right, of course, everyone is different, and the OP's frustration is understandable, but it sounds as if OP has never thought to thank the parents for the extra effort they put in. A little expressed gratitude goes a long way in a caretaker's life. The same way any parent appreciates an acknowledgement.
The fact that OP is being as independent as possible is commendable.
I got lucky with my mom (sometimes) respecting my struggles. My dad surprisingly is more understanding even tho me and my mom have very similar struggles.
When I’m having panic attacks he talks me through them and to help me calm down. My mom just tells me to watch a movie and try to sleep.
I have SEVERE panic attack. Like dangerously bad sometimes. I’ve been to the point of having to “run away” basically walk down the road or even run. I have a hole in my wall from my last one.
Im on medicine that helps me a lot but it only does so much for what I’ve been through.
I'm not restricted from driving by doctors despite my motion sicknesses, aversion to sunlight laser shooting me in the eyes, or puking on the spot if I smell cigarettes (perfumed vapes are still disgusting)
Or gasoline. No, at 29, the reason I can't drive is that not one teacher will finish the hours with me or let me take the course test.
damn bro got hit with the combo move
That’s so true you always need to listen to medical advice from professionals and your dad not agreeing with them is wrong because it’s best form both worlds cause your bad anxiety can lead to maybe crashing into someone by accident and being slightly blind also is bad to drive with
I thought the person talking or AI talking was saying, Slappy, blind, not slightly, and frankly, but dad needs to just get over
My grandson is blind in one eye but he has really strong eye glasses and drives. He passed his eye test with one good eye even with no perfect sight in it. He is on anxiety meds to control that. He is going to have eye surgery on the good eye in the future. He was 4 months premature and the eye doctors said the oxygen caused this.
NTA. Parents should care more about their child’s safety over their own convenience.
NTA. Genes are a roll of the dice. You never know what you’re gonna wind up with. If he’d rather his disabled daughter get hurt than be a responsible father then he shouldn’t have become a parent.
NTA. When you have a kid, this can be one of the things that can happen. If both of them were so unwilling, then they shouldn’t have had a kid to begin with.
If he doesn't want to drive then he can pay for an uber, since taking care of his kid is so hard
Parents are not going to live forever.
is this a threat
Thank god. Maybe then OP can go into the care of people who actually want to help her.
@@alexismyers6053she can do that NOW
@@alexismyers6053 Please email your address to OP so you can take care of her as you seem to prefer strangers taking care of her over her parents.
No empty virtue signaling please, do as you say.
Surely there are local disabled people you can be taking care of? Hell, you can even go volunteer in nursing home is there aint enough disabled people for you to help.
If you do that then I will likely see you as more than just someone talking out of their ass on internet.
@@user-kf1ed4if4g maybe a promise?
NTA. If you signed up to have and raise a child, then you signed up to have and raise a disabled child. It's not your kid's fault they're disabled.
Reminds me of when i lost my drivers license and when trying to get stable on my epilepsy meds my parents got sick of driving me and my siblings places so the guilted me into doing it myself...
I'm torn on this one. OP cannot drive, obviously. And needing a bit of help sometimes is okay. But she still needs to mostly be able to get around by herself. She's 22. She can't expect her parents to be there for every little thing she needs, for the rest of her life. Blind people, autistic people, and people with mobility issues all do find ways that they can live independently and have some freedom, without relying on others. OP even said that they can take busses, but being driven is better.
It bugs me when people treat disabled people like they need to be babied. I'm autistic myself, and my mum constantly told me that the world isn't gonna make concessions for that. She always told me it was my own responsibility to learn how to handle things myself. I get that some people legitimately need more help than others. But it sounds like OP doesn't always need that help, and is pushing her luck asking to be driven around all the time. Her dad is a moron if he thinks she could legally drive, but he is still doing her favours by driving her. She's an adult, so he technically doesn't have to anymore. OP's "shut up and do it" attitude seems highly ungrateful
It’s not her fault, the bus didn’t come, she can’t take a taxi or an Uber because those cost a lot. She doesn’t really have the option of anything else.
Ah… she’s likely too disabled to live independently. If you really were autistic, you would know that many people ARE like that. So LEGALLY, her parents DO have to provide for and be there for her as if she was a child or find/hire someone who will. The law kind of doesn’t like those who dump disabled people on the strand tell them to figure it out.
Internalized ableist with survivorship bias.
@@pokemonsonicgirl123Now say it in English
As yes OP should have just summoned the bus that never showed up instead of resorting to the only option available
I can barely drive and I'm not even blind. I have conditions that make me vulnerable for passing out during long drives. Short local drives are fine, but otherwise i refuse to drive.
NTA - parent of disabled child and as much things can be an inconvenience sometimes HOWEVER that's life. She's an awesome kid
That carpet refuses to become clean
Wow. He only picks up op one ore twice a week. Nta 🙄😒
Are you sure he wasn't the child?
i can relate. i am not blind in anyway but i have autism, adhd, depression, generalized anxiety and unspecific panic disorder as well as PCOS. my mom believes i faked my way into getting my diagnoses that aren't the PCOS, unless she needs to get out of a situation( the "i would love to talk more but *dead name*- Zack is really wanting to get going. you know, sensory overload." when im either fine at the moment or im minorly fidgety.). she wants me to gwt a driver's license but i really don't trust my self to drive, i constantly am zoning out and i i wa to get behind the wheel i think I'd get into an accident.
NTA. My mom had a similar issue with me doing my insulin shots in public rather than the bathroom. We got into a big fight and I told her she needs to learn to deal with it because unlike me she has a working pancreas and I don’t.
Honestly even though the op has those medical conditions I would happily be friends with them
Whole family is outta wack, dad should know better, OP should be grateful regardless. You don't get to take things for granted just because the person giving you EVERYTHING in your life isn't nice about it all the time
I dont the department of transport would ever allow you to sit for your licence. You would need a medical note clearing you to drive with those disabilities, and your doctor would never do it. Even if you miraculously could sit for them, youd fail. Having at least decent eyesight is critical for driving, you’d likely crash on the test and never pass it. Id tell dad to take you to apply and ask about the likelihood of getting it while you are there with all your conditions
Parents of disabled kids often get really offended when their kids are called disabled, even when it’s us, the disabled child, saying it.
Yeah I think they're being a little selfish and inconsiderate
NTA. I have a disability that causes me to faint, which means I also will never be able to drive. My parents keep trying to convince me to try & get a license anyways it’s annoying as fuck
Imagine if he called OP ableist for that. NTA, when you have a kid they’re your kid even after they’re all grown up.
NTA
Lol NTA. Love how it's "rude" of you to be like "I didn't ask to be this way, I am disabled" as if YOU'RE the problem here.
I know how this feels except my family chooses to talk shit about me behind my back instead of asking me what's going on!
Im also disabled (autism, anxiety, depression, what i think is agoraphobia, ptsd, EDS, tachycardia, arthritis, and partial blindness, and who knows what else) and i dont get why people get pissy over taking care of someone they agreed to take care of. Wpuld you rather your child die in a car crash bc they couldnt see something on the road?
If you cant handle disabeled kid without blaming them, keep your legs closed. Parents are AH
Depends entirely on how old OP is.
If OP is 30, yikes. If OP is in their teens, yikes- but at the parents.
Disabilities can make you unable to live by yourself
I see and understand both sides but it's a danger to themselves and others even if they can learn to drive. I am epileptic and have some other health issues that require treatments and appointments. I can't legally drive but try to be as independent as possible including using any services available to help but sometimes my mother had to drive me. She doesn't always like it and sometimes complains and in the same breath is grateful I'm still alive and knows I'd do it myself if I could!
NTA but be careful. As an adult they can literally just tell you no and stop providing for you or cut contact entirely. I'm notnsaying they will do this, you are their child. But they are willing to grumble about offering you assistance. Just keep in mind the possibility.
if youre not prepared to take care of a disabled kid well into their adulthood and possibly their whole life then youre not ready to have a kid at all.
Oh stop. No one has kids expecting them to be disabled.
@@Kaboomboo I never said people should expect to have disabled kids, i said they should be prepared to handle having one. Kinda like no one expects their house to catch on fire but they should know what to do if it happens. Did no one teach you 'prepare for the worst, hope for the best'?
Hearing that is shameful with my dad having 3 disabled children alone and he takes care of us and helps us all whenever we need it sone people never deserve to have kids or anyone with them
I've had depression, anxiety, eating disorders, sleeping disorders, adhd, and learning disabilities..
I got all of them from the age of 4-5 except for adhd and my learning disability (I was about 2 months old) and my parents always call me a "waste of oxygen" and "useless" and it only makes my mental health worse than it already is (I'm only 12 so it deeply affects me)
Aw that really sucks :( I’m autistic and my dad gets mad at my therapists for even mentioning it, I don’t have a problem as bad as you but I certainly feel a bit of your pain. I promise it’s not your fault, and you’re not useless or a waste of oxygen.
ESH. The dad is an AH for asking her to drive herself around and OP for being always entitled to being picked up all the by the dad despite being a grown adult. Op can always carpool with friends and talk to the city about better public transit instead of making the dad do it as she knows its an inconvince for him
As someone who also has autism adhd dislexy and anxiety, it's like really rude on the dad, like, shes 22 even if she knew how to drive she still wouldn't just get a car, or even a license if the blindness is in their medical records (which probably is), plus the fact it's just 2 or 3 times a week? That's just normal for a parent to do
She is an adult there is no legal requirement for her parents to support her.
Sure parents should still help their kids even if they are older BUT taking it for granted is something I have issues with.
Also Poster seriously needs to find a way to keep herself alive soon as it aint likely that her parents are rich enough to help her after their death wiht money.
SHe needs to find some kind of work and support network outside of her parents for BOTH of their sake.
@@samuelsilver8077Eh it factors the biggest one Being is she considered a dependent or not if she’s considered a dependent then the parents have a legal obligation to take care of her if they cannot they have a legal obligation to get someone who can take care of her feed high when a caretaker or maybe put an OP in a home of some sort but they are still legally responsible for her. If she’s a dependent then they kick her out they can get charged with neglect and abuse similar to which a few of the minor and you don’t have to be completely crippled to be considered dependent based on multiple factors so even if we can hold down a part-time job that might not be enough for her to be considered independent so she might be legally classed as a dependent, and if that’s the case, then her parents have full legal responsibilities to take care of her.
I understand why it’s hard on the parents, but it’s not the kid’s fault.
nta, and it's not your fault
Mf was born with the “How Did We Get Here” achievement
What a lot of people seem to miss: this is not a disabled child, but a disabled fully grown *woman*
Sure, if you love your children, you keep doing favors for them, even if they are already fully grown. Thats family.
But he doesn't have to pick her up. He can even kick her out of the house. Noone here is TA but OP shouldn't forget that she has the short end of the stick here. She has the moral high ground but not the legal one.
they see it as a child due to them having autism because mentally they aren't an adult
He does. otherwise its still considered abandonment because of the disabilities. and the parents can actually face jail time. As they should because ya know...
She's literally disabled. I mean, i'd be pretty pissed at my parents if my disabled self was lectured on driving after being told by doctors I wasn't allowed to and would put myself in significant risk.
She isn’t arguing on a legal ground and also it be really shitty to kick her out because she is disabled because they be kicking her out because she is disabled.
She does still bring money into the household just not a lot of money. I would like you to justify kicking someone out because they are disabled genuinely make that argument and see what lengths you have to go to to try and make it make sense.
@@courtofcryptids7626 okay, not in my country 😅
If you are 18 and your parents kick you out, they would be shitty parents, but there wouldn't be legal repercussions. If they are absolutely not self sufficient they would go to a nursing home, if the parents don't want to care for them anymore.
Just to be clear: I'm not on the side of the parents here, just showing my perspective on the issue.
@@Archive224 She's 18 and doesn't own the house. That's all the argument that's needed.
And again.....not on the side of the parents here...just showing the possibilities that if you don't own any part of the house you are living in maybe you shouldn't sit all high and mighty on your moral high ground horse. The last thing probably doesn't make any sense, but I'm not a native english speaker so I don't really care.
It sucks. I’m in a similar position, where no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to work my way up into a full time job. My family are kind and supportive, but they clearly want me to keep improving. My dad keeps reminding me that I’m not full-time and that he just wants me to reach a point where I can take care of myself.
OF COURSE I WANT TO DO THAT. If anything, I want to be someone that can take care of my parents, and also have the mental and financial means to have and support a family. It’s been a dream of mine to have a child of my own, but I can’t dare consider it until I can sufficiently take care of myself.
I’m a grown-ass adult and it’s sincerely embarrassing and shameful. I don’t know what I’d do without the continued support from my family. And I hate that so much. I don’t want my parents to become old and grey, and still have to worry about their middle-aged kid.
I heard a quote once “if you don’t think you could ever handle a disabled child, don’t have kids, because it’s always a gamble on weather or not you will be able to handle your baby-and your baby deserves better than that”
NTA. I'm also disabled and not allowed to go to in person school (which is ok cuz I'd be in college), drive, or technically work (I have to though). I've dealt with my parents telling me for YEARS that I need to just get my license already because my disabilities shouldn't be disabilities/aren't that bad. I have really bad mental health, faint, shake, twitch, etc. My dad wouldn't drive with me anymore (before doc said no) bc I twitched really badly and almost wrecked bc of it a few times.
Also too blind to pass a driver's license vision test and have past trauma from trying to learn how to drive when I was a teen... Multiple Sclerosis w/optical neuritus, coupling the MS is in my head, neck and spine, plus anxiety, C-PTSD and chronic depression
For goodness sake, a kindergardener would be much more understanding and empathetic of the situation than the OP's "father".
NTA ❤🎉
And your parents didn't notice any of your struggles with performing activities of daily living while you were growing up?
I have 2 autistic kids. One reason that driving a car is difficult is that it is hard to make the arms/hands coordinate with the legs/feet. Sometimes a modified car with all controls on /around the steering wheel can help, but also it can take longer to react to a situation.
This young woman should see if she could get into a group home where she could be more independent while also getting non-judgemental help as needed.
Op: I’m blind enough that my doctors don’t want me to drive
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