Strong Willed Child: how to parent without yelling
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2020
- Setting limits and boundaries can be a real challenge if you have a strong-willed child! It is, however, essential to teach your child to comply with the rules and to respect your authority. In this video, I share simple, effective techniques to assert your authority without yelling, shaming or calling names.
To find out more about this topic, I highly recommend this book:
Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child, by Robert J. Mackenzie: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/077043659...
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You are so kind, I think your children are very happy having so wonderful mother. Thank you so much for sharing amazing advises.
That is such a nice thing to say, thank you so much for your kind words and your support ❤️
@@UpWeGrow Wishing you all the best! I will be following all your tips, it helps me a lot with three little ones!
Le cadre, les règles dans la bienveillance et ensuite le plaisir de vivre ensemble en sécurité ;-)
Hi ,
Thankyou for sharing the video was informative.What is the only rule you use at home ?
I am curious to learn about it from you.
Wow it was amazing, I have a nephew and as I was talking with my mom he was keep on interrupting me so I told him once to keep quite don't talk inbetween, and then again but upon my shock, he replied back and ask me instead to keep quite, I was stunned, I get up and walked away.. can you please suggest me how to deal with such behaviour as I feel he is not respecting me and challenging my authority as being older. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Hi Umer, thank you for your comment. With regards to your nephew, you are right that it is important for him to learn to not interrupt and to speak to you respectfully. Before we get into managing this behaviour when it happens, let's talk about how to prevent it. Usually backtalk is all about power struggle. 3 things I recommend thinking about: 1/ what kind of behaviour are adults around him modelling? If it is a habit within the family to interrupt each other, it will be difficult for him to understand that he should wait for his turn to speak. I know this was an issue in our family and something my husband and I had to be intentional about. 2/ usually, children who act out and try to start power struggles are children who do not feel like they have enough power over their own lives and so they try to express that power elsewhere (backtalking, not eating, etc). Is your nephew getting enough control over his life? We adults have a tendency to micro-manage children and not give them enough space to exert some power over their own lives. Depending on his age, it could be ensuring he gets to choose some things during his day like his clothes or the outing for the day, ... making him feel like he can have some control over his situation. 3/ very important: is your nephew feeling heard and feeling connected to adults around him? Children need to feel connected to their parents and people around them who matter. Take 10 minutes to connect with him and listen to what he has to say, asking him questions and showing interest his opinions and thoughts. Spend some quality time with him so that he feels like he matters and his opinion matters. Usually children who act out are children who are seeking attention and the best way to prevent bad behaviour is to give them attention in the first place.
Now if the behaviour is still happening and your nephew interrupts you:
1- establish the rule: start by asking him politely but firmly to stop ("Wait for your turn to speak, please.")
2- warn about consequences: if he continues to interrupt, remain calm and warn about consequences ("if you do not stop interrupting me, you will go on time-out for 5 minutes")
3- follow through with consequences: if he interrupts again, you have to follow through with the time out. Consequences need to be immediate, consistent, and proportional. Usually with time out, the rule is same number of minutes as the child's age, use a timer so that you stick exactly to the time (and let the child know you are using a timer and will stick to the time).
With strong willed children, you may need to follow through with consequences several times before they finally learn that this rule is not optional. So you may put him on time out and when he comes back, he interrupts you again. Once again, stay really calm, and warn him that if he interrupts again, he will go back on time out. Finally, once the time out is over, it should be a clean slate: invite him to come back with a friendly voice, don't give him a lecture, just move on, to show him that you trust him to do better next time. Stay consistent and always follow through and you will see some progress! I hope this helps!
@@UpWeGrow thank you so much there is much sagacity in your words.. keep uploading good stuff, I have a lot to learn from you Insha Allah.