If You're Single...Watch This
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- Опубліковано 26 жов 2023
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Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships. That is not a bad thing. You are not wrong to stand your ground about your body and your life.
Situationship is basically Friends with Benefits but we signed an NDA lol. I kid I kid.
Hey Big Momo, hmmm.... difficult.
See the problem is: the good men are all frustrated in their 30's because of the games women played with them in their 20's. I did not attend the situation you're talking about but you have to understand: the nice guys suffer in their 20's because nice guys are emotionally available but women in their 20's talk down on that nowadays and "make them wait" while jumping from one random chad's bed to the next.
I honestly would see it like this: Did he ask you for your body count and did you answer honestly? Because if you said you're body count is
i sooooooo wish i had met someone like you, your thinking and mindset. i thought i had it 26 yrs ago. but after our child was born, then, she went 180 on me. took 3 yrs just to get time with my child. 3yrs later, i had my child full time. once that happened, all my time was making sure i took care of my child, no time for dating. now, at 58, i dont even want to be out in the dating market. just too old for all the games i see today. oh, and try to find a woman that dont drink or do drugs. most want to be out in the bars or clubs. big NO for me. said in a different reaction vid you did, i am old school. the saying used to be.,. i am a one woman man, and i want/need, a one man woman. PERIOD
Every time i hear single people or younger single people discuss relationships and dating I'm SOOO THANKFUL i am married . Good luck and God bless Bigmomo and hold your ground.
Good talk MoMo,.
Thanks for sharing your perspective on this subject.
Thanks for watching!
I was the one who’d withhold physical intimacy in new relationships and those women would get so upset.
Many times they’d say I was “playing games” with them and that I had an overinflated sense of self.
When I’d explain my reason for waiting was because I wanted to make sure the relationship had potential first they’d get ultra offended.
I had too many hookups that lead to someone developing feelings that I rarely ever reciprocated and just became a miserable situation to get out of.
At a certain age, “Let’s just f**k and go from there” lost all its appeal.
I'm super impressed that you realized that! I agree Women handle hookups way different then men.
Hey MoMo, well, as someone who is a little older than you, and generally 'old school', I agree with you overall, but I also looks at situations a little more individually now. I am an original gen x geek/nerd when it wasn't cool to be one and was a 'late bloomer' so to speak. I wasn't really a lady's man in high school and didn't really date much. Most girls didn't start to 'notice' me until just after i left high school and was starting college.
While I don't and didn't just go around sleeping with every girl I could, I have come to think of that type of intimacy as 'if it is part of or can develop a connection with someone'. ultimately, it is about the amount of time you 'invest' in someone, regardless of when you share that intimacy with them. As we have all seen, there have been stories about couples who have been together a long time, whether married or not, sharing that intimacy throughout the course of their relationship, then one day for whatever reason, something changes and they don't want to be together anymore. So, all that time really didn't mean much. The intimacy sure didn't. because if it was about that, then then who try and stay together.
Ultimately you have to respect and treat the person you are with as the most valued investment of your time, because that is the one thing you cannot get back. Are they someone worth investing your time in regardless of how you spend it together?
I think one of the biggest problems that stifle relationships today are peoples' egos. They let their egos get in the way of how they deal with and treat someone because it cause them to have certain expectations that may be unrealistic.
None of us are perfect. That isn't to stay we shouldn't have standards of how a person should treat us, but as we are all broken in some way, we should have a little allowance for others... only as long as they are making a a quantifiable effort to improve, and their flaws are not majorly out of your standards. Obviously I am not saying to accept someone who is simply a malevolent narcissistic jerk. I am just saying that maybe their time management skills aren't the best, but they always show up for you and are there when you need them. They treat you and your situations as just as important as theirs.
For me, I don't want an exact carbon copy of me. Having some common interests is nice, but someone who is completely like me would be boring I think. I can allow for someone with some different interests, as long as, we can enjoy being with each other and supporting each other in our individual interests.
I look at a relationship as we are part of a team with each other and are trying to help each other get the most of what we want individually. My woman is my woman, but she is also my queen and my goddess. I worship and cherish her just as she does the same for me being her man and her warrior. She respects me as that in the same way I do her. In that way, neither one of us have to feel 'taken for granted' or disrespected from each other, because we are always looking to uplift and protect each other.
As for your 'friend', once again, while I generally agree with you in how people should respond... based on just what you've said on how the interaction went.... I might suggest you my have been a little premature. Unless I missed it, I would've want some sort of explanation. It is possible he was going through something and sought you out for some advice from someone he was familiar with, but hadn't brought that subject up to you yet because it was pretty serious in his life. Maybe serious enough to cause him to be distracted by other things.
I think I would've sent a message and given a chance to reply.
I think I might have sent a message similar to this...
Hey, if you want to be able to hang out with me, you need to be a little more timely in your response. It would be nice to catch up with you again, but I cannot be expected to respond at the last minute and maintain a realistic schedule. If there is something else going on with you that is taking a lot of your attention, I get that, but I hope you understand I have my own schedule as well. If you cannot respond to me in a timely manner without some reasonable explanation, then I cannot be expected to simply make a hole in my schedule at the last minute. If I don't hear back from you in a reasonable time, I will just assume that this is a bad time for you or that you have lost interest in catching up with me. Cheers.
I think that give them an out to either explain themselves, in which you can still decided how to react, or for both of you to move on due to lack of interest on both parts.
Just my thoughts based on what you've said, unless I missed something in your explanation.
Cheers,
Tim
You’re such a rare gem in this messy ass generation. As a man with more traditional values, it’s hard to find someone with matching values.
Sex in hookup culture is more about self indulgence and selfishness. Sex is a (healthy) relationship is about generosity. Complete different things.
“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” - Socrates
So, you're telling me there's men out there who had an actual shot with you. And they just threw it away??? Good lord.
Sex and intimacy is a natural human need. The issue is besides that it can be very impersonal. You just do stuff because you want the dopamine. To actually find a person who REALLY cares is tough
I have to say from personal experience; only the most hormonally masculine men are just naturally as such. They just naturally make women feel comfortably feminine, whatever that means to anyone individually. But also, "women being women", any deviation, even in the slightest, or at subtly "inopportune" moment(s) that a man reveals goofyness or genuine emotion, he gives a woman "the ick". but even so, the will in matured women to overlook these little senselesslly arbitrary things remain in love and comfort with that same man. idk, whatever...
Thank u for the video I needed this , I needed to move on 4 a long time , I'd rather b alone then deal with what I have for the passed 3 years, just got tired of being treated like crap, and playing games, idk why i stayed aslong as I did, gess because I don't like being alone but it's better then getting cheated on, but anyway thank u 4 the video, I'm 39 i was brought up old school and it's hard to find someone like that now days unfortunately
You might have to try overseas to find someone old school. Not so much in US.
I have learned that being good with enjoying your own company helps weed out/prevent getting into bad relationships just cause you’re lonely. When you value yourself then you learn there are lot of potential partners that won’t add to your situation.
I needed this. Never had a woman look at me with interest. This stuff is maddening
why would this apply to u if ur an incel LMFAOOO u just contradicted yourself
I'm sorry but I believe love absolutely should be enough and I guess that's why I'm single
You are not wrong.
I live in nyc. It’s impossible here. People claim they want to date, but most flake after the first date rather than giving it a proper shot (I.e. the “next person is the one” mentality which ends up not being the case as I continue to see them on the apps). The best I’ve gotten was four dates (all of which were over three hours and went smoothly) before she changed her mind and went her own way.
The scene has changed a lot. I don’t get mad when people change their minds because people are 100% entitled to do so, but I’m also not going to lie and say that I don’t feel very disappointed.
My Italian mom told me when I was just starting to date in my teens as guy when you are looking for a girl to marry opposites may attract but they dont stay together...I asked what do you mean? she said in relationships or marriages there is so many issues you have to discuss and come to agreements on if you have to argue about so many points of view you will just get frustrated. She was married to my dad for 50 yrs they were inseparable
The thing is, I can't even get a woman to tell me the time of day. If I somehow actually got into a relationship with a woman and she asked me to wait... Well the word "frustration" falls far short of describing how I would be feeling in that situation.
Looking at your comment section, you talking into a void.
I agree with most you said except the speed thing. I dont believe much as changed since 2000s when started dating, of course except the internet. Time is the most important thing period. If both parties are not feeling it after meeting each other, dont waste time.
Never heard so much bollocks in all my life. 😂
In my 26 years of life I’ve never been in a relationship and it bothered me in my late teens/early 20s. Now I see it like if it’s meant to happen it’ll happen.
I’m a bit old school myself in that I think waiting till marriage for being “physical” is best.
Did you play Kaneva? I think I know you from there.
Just went through this recently had to let her go
Everyone is busy and everyone is broke or close enough, which makes it even more important to not have any patience for someone’s bullsplitch. Be genuine or fk off in perpetuity. And if you make justifications for someone treating you like trash then you really need to fix you before making it a million times more complex. Just my unsolicited crotchety bastard take.
I hope to find someone that has my back by being at my side. Not needing to be on a pedestal or put me on one. Someone that is my equal in the relationship. I fully believe the man is the protector and provider. The woman is the nurturer, home maker and safe haven for her family including her man. Neither are bound but just these roles. But together they create a force that will survive all storms in life. From the extremes of fighting side in the zombie apocalypse to cleaning the house on Saturday morning. A true ride or die
Your a great woman, I wish I could find someone like u but it's impossible around here, but anyway just wanted to say your a amazing woman and thank u for this video, hope u have a great night beautiful
Don't you live in New York ?
Did this help anyone?
That is how you weed out douche bags, no sex until marriage. That is the only way you can find a right guy ( if you are looking for a marriage).
Not necessarily. Sexual compatibility matters too. To hold that off until law is involved in your relationship might not garner good results
@@madmagboy , most likely if you wait you will weed out douche bags. Sexual compatibility? Never heard of a guy who didn’t like sex.
Men shouldn't be coming to you or women in general for advise on women. Women already have a stressful life as it is. So these men need to select better outlets for advise or just get better men in their circle. Because the %1 men in my circle, including myself, know how to handle women and know that they're not hard to figure out. Long story short. Trust the motion, not the commotion. You were a little all over the place this evening, which means you are extremely passionate about this. I acknowledge that, and I can appreciate that. I love that you want a masculine man, but I'm sure you know what comes with that. Boundaries, and being okay with walking away when boundaries aren't being accepted and reciprocated. Also, the exchanging of sexual energy is a very real thing. It's not physical at that point... You're quite literally creating a spiritual bond with that person. So if you jump from one person to another, don't be surprised if your life feels like it's in turmoil. Because you're carrying all that energy from that person you sexually engaged with. I know that you and I could go off on a tangent with this topic, so out of respect, I'll keep it short. I've been in therapy ( BetterHelp for going on 6 years ) and I've dug through my childhood trauma and I understand why I feel the way I feel now. I'll go ahead and subscribe and give you a quick follow on IG. Look, if you need a healthy outlet, I have really good ears. Peace.
This is the most white-knight simp post I've read in my life. I can't believe you wrote that thinking it'd get her attention. Just make sure to put your coat back in the laundry after you laid it out on the rain for her to step on. Holy cow, what a comment you wrote...Anyone with eyes can tell just how desperate you are.
Only disgusting people use their phone while on the toilet. Who wants to have their phone covered with microscopic fecal bacteria and then hold it to their face?
We all want people to not only value us but to value us for the things we want to be valued for. It might take a long time to find that person who does that but when you do the wait will be worth it and you'll be glad you didn't settle for some schmuck or give yourself away along the way.
Butterflies aren't necessarily a bad thing. When your body feels stress it will go into a heightened state of arousal and our mind will define this exact same state as either fear or excitement. So you could get butterflies over something good or something bad. If you get butterflies all it means is something in him, or the situation, is creating a stress in your body and it could be a good stress (you really like him) or a bad stress (you detect that something is wrong). Don't discount butterflies as an automatic red flag, rather notice them and ask yourself, "is this my body letting me know that I'm scared or that I'm excited?"
I don't think holding off on sex is good for the women at all. I am just saying it would probably be a good idea if you got to see what the guy is working with before you decide any long-lasting relationship. A small one will kill intimacy quick. You don't want the first time you put your hands down his pants to be on your wedding night and find out he has a micro.
Men care about women history because we are hunters and explorers. We like to plant our "flag" when we are somewhere new. It is a letdown to see someone else's flag already there. Also, it is insulting if the other explorer got there quickly while the new guy had to wait months. It's a shot to the ego. Men also don't like to be compared to others unless it is favorable. Women will never be satisfied with guy#100 when she compares him to guy#1-guy#99. There will most likely be someone bigger or better or more stamina. It is a real boner killer.
No guy gets offended that you don't "put out", he gets offended that you've adopted this policy with HIM but not the Chads and Tyrones before him. How many women have to end up alone before it sinks in that raising your demands as you age guarantees being a spinster?