I've seen incompetent unproductive people coddled for months and competent people fired for no reason except a manager feels. I wish more managers could leave their egos at home.
Hahaha this video's timing is amazing. I just left a toxic workplace that affected me both mentally and physically after 16 months of suffering. I am now in my third week at a new job that is much healthier and friendlier. My hair stopped falling, my migraines have subsided and i don't struggle getting out of bed anymore. The workplace really has an effect on you!! Please do yourself a favor and LEAVE the toxic mess!!!
Good for you, I'm actually putting my notice in tomorrow. I stayed 8 years and have had hair fall out, destroyed my body working 6 days a week 10 hour days when I didn't even need too. God has really helped me out to be honest. Buy I agree with you 100%
Good for you! I also left a toxic job that was caused my physical health to deteriorate, it was so bad that on a Saturday as I was trying to relax at a cafe I looked up and realized that my eyes couldn't focus on anything around me and my brain could hardly process anything. It was like my entire nervous system was broken. No job is worth that kind of dangerous stress.
Congrats! I'm working on leaving mine right now. It's rough but I'm trying to keep my head up and keep moving forward. I just keep telling myself that this is not forever, it's only for now.
Congrats! Trying to leave mine- it isn’t worth the “perks” if you’re not feeling like yourself or losing your sanity and health. Here’s to hoping the next year will be better!
Been in that situation before and lasted a few months. It was insane and I don’t even put that horrible place on my resume either. It worked out just fine in the end.
A few months doesn't look bad at all on a resume! It's normal, in general. Even 6 months isn't that bad! Now, more than 6, 9 or 12 months, you better be goin to school or have your own business, less employers will judge you ignorantly and unjustly!
People tell you to leave a toxic relationship right away, but they rarely tell you to get out of a toxic work environment right away. I wish I had because staying in toxic work environments did more damage to my psyche, self esteem, and health, than any bad relationship ever did. I knew to get out of bad relationships and was applauded for doing so, but I was actively encouraged to stay in toxic work environments. We need to change this in our culture.
Hang in there. Good opportunity to take a few çourses to expand your skill set. No job is worth your health. Look at it as a learning experience. You will be ok. Don't let the bastards win.
I went through a toxic environment that left me timid and I lost my confidence right after. I was regarded as a high performer in the prior position, moved to a new industry and the company didn’t give me time to get acquainted to the job and expectations. In addition, there was a huge mismatch between my personality and the team’s. The experience left me feeling worthless after getting verbally abused. In addition to the steps Brian mentioned, it may be worth exploring therapy to help you recover. I ended up getting another job 3 months later and the downtime was very much needed to help me heal mentally and physically. I wish everyone going through this experience the best. It’s a lesson that I will never forget.
Im going through this now and I'm putting off the possibility of resigning because of guilt that I've only been with them for a month 😭 absolutely the same for me. Regarded as a performer in my previous company but my current manager set up impossible expectations knowing that I've only been on the job for half the 4months, with 2 months spent on training (this is a very technical-specific position). I'm new to the workforce and this is traumatizing
@@gracehomes3887 thank you!! Quick update: went back to my previous employer after they agreed to offer me the current market salary (they said they couldn't afford to give me a raise the first time around so i had to quit). The manager in this last company who sets surreal expectations to newbies apparently did it because his team were "overstaffed" and corporate refused his request to transfer some of us in his team to other teams so he plotted to make us quit with his bullshit. HR eventually caught up after I (and two others) filled out the exit interview survey for why we're resigning and said it's because of him and he was immediately "dismissed" Indefinitely, around the same time I rendered my 4 weeks notice. Great outcome in the end.
Thinking of taking this approach too. I lost out on other opportunities that i turned down and accepted this offer to only get laid off after 2 months. No sign of it coming, no PIP. Does suing make you a target for not being hired for other jobs?
@@gatsbyse20 my lawyer negotiated a neutral reference, meaning if anyone calls them for a reference, they are allowed to state how long i worked there for and that is all. if they mention the lawsuit or say anything disparaging, i can sue them again for breach of contract.
Great topic! I worked for a VERY toxic corporate environment 5 years ago. I was middle management and saw people being “set up to fail”, nepotism hire’s get endless promotions and witnessed fake reporting to downplay performance metrics. It was an awful experience.
The things thatve helped me most in recovery from quitting a toxic situation: 1. Individual talk therapy. 2. Minimizing exposure to the insanity of the LinkedIn timeline. It’s all weird brags, doom news about layoffs, and people posting about how sad they are. Discouraging. 3. Spending time with colleagues that are thriving in their jobs. Seeing that satisfaction is possible.
I had a very toxic boss. He was a very arrogant person and everything I did was always wrong. A few weeks into my new job, my new manager said thanks great work to something I did. I was so shocked I didn’t believe it
another thing to mention, that he didn't mention, is the fear that remains after you've quit and managed to get a good job in a good company. I still have doubts about my skills as a web developer and I'm always amassed when my boss tells me I've done great. Even though I've been in this company for 7 years now and would probably get a better salary elsewhere, I would simply not leave. What if I get back into another toxic workplace? And they're so many...
When you attend a job interview, often the employer see you as someone begging for money. You have to treat this interview as a 2 way street. You are interviewing them too. You need to pick hints whether or not it is a good workplace, good team, you consider joining. A 20% pay raise is not worth it if your mental health will be compromised at the new workplace.
Or you could not allow other people to impact your emotions like that. Imo it's very limiting to your own growth to operate on the fear of the unknown.
@@ReaveIdono Agreed. Staying with the same company just because you have your comfort zone is not necessarily the best option. There could be a major f*** up tomorrow, involving you, and all of a sudden, the atmosphere at work turns toxic. Or your manager could make you redundant tomorrow even if he's happy with your work. If another employer offers 10% or more than what you earn atm, you need to say yes.
The daycare centers I worked at had the most toxic environments ever. Gossip. Backstabbing. Cliquishness. Whining. Complaining. Laziness. Sneakiness. Many times my soul was just hurt and crushed.
worked for many female bosses & coworkers over 30 years and I can count on one hand the number that didn't eventually turn to petty games and the other behavior op listed. ppl are generally all on a mental illness spectrum & men suck too but the way women go about it is especially demoralizing to me personally.
The timing on this is impeccable. Just left one with no backup plan. Technically on personal/sick leave atm and using it up. If your gut is telling you to leave and leave immediately, do it. Money will be tight but it is far better than headaches, anxiety, depression and panic attacks daily like I was experiencing. I could not job search clearly and effectively whilst working in an environment like that. As you mentioned Brian, when the entire place is toxic, the conversations are always negative and sad. It is not a good headspace to be in and continue to hear how others are also being mistreated. My pro tip though? Apply for everything that suits your skills (even if you have zero intent of taking the role). Why? Interview practice. So important to get your confidence back and there is no better way than sharpening those communication skills! If you are not working, it is a great way to still have a routine and a habit of getting ready for a professional setting. It's worked for me and been a nice ego boost after what I've been through. Having options is better than no options too.
I spent 11 years at a toxic job. It absolutely took a toll on me. Left in 2018 and have had 2 crappy jobs since then. Definitely hard to get your confidence back after what I experienced.
Think about getting a career councillor or see if there is a job centre or something at your local library that could help you figure out what industry you may want to get into…. I went through a similar thing and found career councilling helped me realize I was done with banking.
I remember watching a video of a psychiatrist describing a toxic/abusive relationship, and it seemed like he was explicitly defining key characteristics of effectively every employee-employer relationship I've seen.
In the job I had after my startup did not make it, I was literally abused by my boss and went from ceo to slave. It was so bad (and so far away, 2h commute) I swore to myself never again. Im looking for a job for over 6 months now, but I would rather flip burgers to make ends meat rather than be abused by an ego maniac boss. Never again guys, life is too short to suffer. Downsize if you need, yeah it sucks, but you will be far happier than having your paycheck the only highlight of your life.
I did just that this year. Previously, I'd to work even during the school holidays & whatnots. But now, no more. I know it sounds crazy, but I can say I'm stress-free & happier. Although just a few day ago, for a minute I forgot I'm my own boss now. 🤣
@@RebekahAPinto I mean finding a stable job with a lovely team is possible, it makes you happy than at home I think, but its also rare, especially in tech (me), so if you need to earn way less in order to be happy, so be it, never ever again, I would rather have 0 money.
I had the exact experience three jobs ago. I left after three years of torment. Now I am happy and thriving, I also exponged the organization from my resume and all contacts. Once you realize an organization is toxic don't get mad just begin planning your graceful exit.
I resigned from a college professor position without notice after sitting through verbal abuse and gaslighting. I went to therapy and I'm now slowly gaining back my self. It's been 6 weeks since that last dreadful day. Now I feel good enough to start the job search
I resigned from teaching too. From evil administration to evil students and their nasty parents, I was just done. Students think they run the place and admin bows to them. The last year I taught was my final year. I was over it. Took the school 10 months to replace me and they started the program late as a result.
I was a software engineer working for a major healthcare insurance company. I was working with a guy (our team leader) that always gave me praise on my projects and was way laid back. He left the position and someone else replaced him. I swear she hated me from day ONE! She was too big into micromanaging... If I sat in traffic for 2 hours getting into Pittsburgh and was 1 minute late she would say I need to work on my attendance. I left there not long after. Now I work for a robotics company that is SO laid back it's not funny. I work from home 90% of the time. She does not care when I work as long as I get stuff done... on the 2 days a month our team has to be in the office... I guess to just make an appearance we show up when we want and leave when we want. No specific times unless meeting or something. I love it there.
Law Firms, Healthcare and Retail are the worst places to work at, if you're in IT and Tech, bro! Take it from me!! Been there, done that!! I know exactly how you feel and what you been through!! I will not work at Law Firms, Hospitals, Clinics or Retail places ever again, as a Software, Network, Hardware or whatever type of Engineer they need or want!! Those places put very or no value on IT or Tech professionals and are full of stupid people in the IT and Tech departments!!
It’s BS that ANYONE needs to show up in the office 2 days just to “show face.” Like let me work. I don’t need to see anyone and unless you’re holding an important team meeting or are making big decisions that affect the team, then you’re interrupting my workflow from my home office. Don’t waste my time and I won’t waste yours.
Perfect timing! I just quit a management job that was sucking my soul from me because I got hired doing a dream job starting in two Mondays. I'll definitely put in some recovery.
I was in a toxic work environment but the recovery process has been long. I was so drained by that place, which was unassuming from the outside. My experience was the opposite of their branding, so a toxic paradise of sorts. This affected my psychological, physical, mental, and emotional health. Thank you for making this video because some people don’t understand how deep the damage can be from toxic places where you’re gaslighted on a regular basis and you have to pretend to be ok.
I'm 4 weeks into recovering from a toxic fortunate 500 global company. I quit without notice and now hoping to find something that aligns with my values.
Several years ago my late grandfather predicted for me that my career will take many twists and turns and that many opportunities will arise in the future. He was very spot on, especially amid the pandemic and about to come out of a toxic work environment where I was given several reassignments till they let me go due to pandemic closures (and to "cut expenses" or so they told me). Then less than a year later I found a much better, more fitting job that I'm working at today. So I went from having a toxic job to a job where they respect and value me.
Your grandfather was wise, we should listen to our elders more. Good for you and the change. An old boss said at his retirement ceremony "If you wanna grow, you gotta go" always stucked with me
I've been through similar situation in 2020. I got so mad at my toxic supervisor that I quit my multinational job in April of that year. Covid was all the more lethal for me because of it. It really messed up my career since then. I'm still struggling.
You "quit" straight up. That's taking charge and you will be in a better place soon. Most people "quietly" look for another job, and end up stepping into another shit job. The option to straight up walk out with no job waiting may be the best thing to do, sometimes. If you have a history of "tolerating" the randomness of finding a great job, I would consider that. In fact, it's on my mind right now. Just want to get finish a half year or so, first.
I identify with the person in your story. I left a job where I was a top performer and then within 4 months of the new job, wanted to quit. It was so high pressure, I was micromanaged, constantly shown how my work wasn’t good but my coworkers work was about the same. I stuck out because there were some company events to attend and then some financial incentives. Developed chronic pain and needed surgery around the 1 yr mark. Still at this forsaken job another year later because the pain hasn’t let up, and because they added even more financial incentives based on vesting dates, and they dangled a carrot to help me change careers. That carrot died and the vest dates have all passed. Ive had it with the amount of anxiety and confidence dissolving this job makes me feel. I was a top performer for years before, and I’ve talked to peers at other companies - their work is less than half as difficult but paid only about 10%-20% less. You can’t pay me just a tad more to feel this rotten literally all the time. It bleeds into everything I do. I’ve committed to quitting by mid Jan.
Having a goal date to quit (like you do) is a great way to cope. As someone who suffered a heart attack as a result of job related stress (amongst other things), while I was working with a company who had GREAT benefits, be sure you’re healthy enough to jump ship while you still have those benefits. Take it from me, it can be hard to start at a new company who doesn’t have benefits (immediately or the same coverage) when you’re still dealing with health issues.
Since it's 100% on the boss to maintain their workers sanity when many of them walk out given the revolving door they're feeling that "nobody wants to work anymore" which they need to look inwardly. I'm pretty sure management has been complaining that "nobody wants to work anymore" since the Pharaoh in Egypt during the construction of the Pyramids.
My first job turned terrible after I had to take some medical time off. Nothing I could do after was good enough for my boss. I'm so glad I left, every job after was a big improvement!
I had worked at a toxic workplace. Everyone is really friendly, but that makes it more hard, because everyone is tolerating the boss's bad attitude. It was so toxic for me that my period stopped for a year. (Only worked for 6 months)
Wow, I literally just was in this situation. I had a boss that hated me and her boss turned the other cheek. She would give me task the would be impossible not to make a mistake because rules changed as you go. She would make me send drafts of my emails and change one or two words and say I made an error. She didn’t want me to go to lunch with anyone. She would blame me for someone else’s errors. She literally built a case and filed me right before Christmas. It was extremely heartbreaking because I gave up another job to go there. She blamed me for another employee going to HR against her.
I had a similar situation. Except it was my first job, so it really messed with my mental health. I didn't feel like I was capable of working at all because I felt like such a failure. Now I'm realizing that I am capable, people took advantage of me, and I while I still have healing to do I am now working in a job where I feel like I am doing a good job.
This video came at the perfect time. I got laid off last year in a horrible market. I ended up having to take a job at a toxic company just to survive. I am feeling so demoralized because I was praised at my last company. Now at my new company I feel set up to fail and no one ever has anything nice to say about my work. I feel for anyone who has ever gone through a toxic work place experience.
This video came at the right time for me as I have left a toxic boss a couple of months ago and will be starting a new job in the new year. Despite having close to a year off from my last job, I still find myself doubting my abilities. Thanks for sharing these reminders. Wish me luck in my new role!
Wow. It literally felt like you were telling my story. Worked for a large corporation, got a promotion to relocate to a new country, and everything derailed from there. Toxic boss and abusive boss and environment. My confidence was shattered, and I once a creative and confident employee was then lost and unable to function with depression and anxiety. I switched to a new place and exactly what you said happened, I couldn't do it. I had to take a sabbatical. Thank you so much for this video.
This is easier in big cities one of the perks of being in NYC is if the work sucks you can always get another one . Usually if its in rural theres not a lot of options. Im cleaning custudian now but its a lot better than my toxic job. I am now starting at a new job sou wish me well
I worked at one a few years back. After 18 months, I had decided enough was enough. I was fresh off of being put back at "full duty" after a cardiopulmonary incident caused by the workplace. They wasted no time giving me the workload that had caused the issue in the first place. In the middle of the shift, I handed in my stuff, told them some choice words, and walked out. I spent 6 months flushing that awful company out of my system before landing where I've been since November of 2019. It paid much better and I knew it was the right fit when everybody, owner included, never mentioned it being a "family company."
I hope your doing better. Currently I have a SCI caused by an incompetent coworker. They are trying to force me back to work. Thank god I have the ability to get up and leave.
I’m in that situation right now, after being laid off from a job after only a few months. There were some definite red flags in my manager and even more so, his manager. So perhaps it’s for the best that I got laid off. But it’s hard to get my confidence up enough for interviews!
needed this video. A company rode me hard and put me away wet after the pandemic. had me 1099 for 3 months and had me on payroll for 89 days to avoid paying me unemployment. 12 hour days 6 days a week in NYC for only 60k. Constantly pawned work off on me and degraded me for not having a degree. I've been too traumatized to go back to work since. I've made many mistakes and I do have a record but in my experience most of these employers don't believe you are worth any dignity.
I just have to say thank you so much for all of these videos. I've been in a negative situation for a number of years, and these videos have inspired me to look for another job, believe in myself, realize I am valuable, and that there is hope. My family went through a personal tragedy about a year ago, and my current employer was totally unsuportive. You're absolutely right when you are treated this way - it does begin to affect your confidence. The organization I work for is completely toxic. I really knew that from the time of the interview, but I needed the job and thought I could navigate the circumstances. You bring up a lot of good points in this video.
I just went through something like this. I got tired of fighting the bad and I left. Tomorrow is my last day and I cannot wait to feel the weight off of me. People were manipulative, easily offended, gossiping, and spreading rumors. It’s disgusting and I want nothing to do with it. It’s sad because the company I worked for made decisions to put certain people in leadership roles and they are not leaders. Sometimes bad people get by and it can take 1 person to turn a workplace bad especially if they are in a leadership role. Great video. I’ve been trying to process all of this. Thank you!
Im so glad to see a video about this. My last job was 13 years. I started a happy college grad and left with my PhD, borderline alcoholism, and on anti depressants 😂. And I got weight loss surgery since I probably gained and lost 300lbs over the years. Looks good on the resume though.
Hey thanks for this video. This is so pervasive in the workplace. Mojo is hard to get back in a really toxic workplace. It’s not that easy to change jobs. This is a topic that needs to delved into.
5:11 I feel that. It's something I've battled with recently, and though I don't think that anymore, those feelings rear their ugly heads every once in a while. But I don't let that sense of defeatism control me anymore.
Thankfully, I didn't wait for years. Saw the writing on the wall after a few months..... Promises of training, exploiting the employees under me, the lack of kept promises for other employees all across the chain. Had a different job after 14 months, glad for it too.
I definitely had this problem. I've never been able to fully recover. So many toxic employees in that job. They behaved like thugs and abusive warlords. I felt imprisoned. When i finally quit, I almost felt like I escaped was a pow camp
I can’t thank you enough for your content! I not only got out of a highly toxic work environment I was stuck for years, I landed my dream job and getting back to good health and life. More money, great work culture and a team that supports one another. I used your interview videos after taking in your advice on what a toxic company is and how we get stuck thinking it is us. Happy New Year!
Totally worth listening to this video! Specially the part he mentions about healing. I was in a toxic work environment for 3 years straight full of misoginy, where the last year broke me because I was constantly being sexually harassed, discriminated about my nationality (listening to comments about me being 'from the other side of the wall' or 'being Mexican' while I am actually Venezuelan) and intimidated to make me fearful and them being able to control me. These experiences started to affect me physically, from me stopping wearing make up, having a twitch in my eye, and not being able to eat correctly. Of course all of these experiences led me to a lot of suicidal ideations, depression and anxiety even after not being in that environment anymore. I rapidly jumped into another job, without even acknowledging what I went through and not taking the time to heal. Because of not healing I jumped into the negative loop, although I was not physically there anymore it kept influencing me. Until I started to recognize what happened to me, started therapy and gave myself the time to heal things started to go better. Probably this story does not have the perfect ending, because I recently got laid off, but at least feel capable of creating and confident of my abilities after more than three years struggling with being creative. It is important to heal and recognize the situations you've been through, it has taken more than two years to recover and now I am trying to get back to what I really want to do. Healing is important, not only for your job performance, but for you as a human. Probably if I did this earlier the negative loop could've being stopped, but nothing is perfect and at least now I am happy to be able to start again.
The story you told is EXACTLY what I’m going through. Small role to big role. I needed time to grow but they are not patient enough and have way to high expectations like as if I could become an executive over night just cos my job title changed. Zero training, zero handover, minimal resources, minimal support. Just six weeks into the role, plenty of pressure from a highly delusional and poor manager. They’re making me hate my chosen career and I don’t even want to work anymore but it’s just cos I’m in a bad company.
One way I deal with a former toxic workplace is to give the building the finger when I drive by. Not out the window so anyone can see, but just under the side window of my car. I know it’s childish, but it always made me laugh. So imagine my surprise when I drove by last month and saw the building being demolished. They’ve laid off so many people that they’re getting rid of one of the three buildings on their campus. It’s not being replaced either. The site is being converted to green space. Maybe that will help me finally move on and give my finger a rest.
You see how karma comes around ,all the people in that place probably felt exactly the way you did..and I'm so happy you can give your finger a rest😅 finally!!!
This is the situation I was in and its actually negatively impacting my current job. I got away from the toxicity and was only there for 6 months but any time I sit down to do any work now I get anxious and nervous and the nerves and anxiety build up until I need to stop and walk away. My current employers did nothing to cause this problem, I don't know how to fix it but I also know I can't be effective like this. I have no idea what to do and its starting to feel like its only going to be a matter of time before I get fired because I now have what effectively feels like a type of block that's keeping me from operating at 100%.
I've certainly had my share of abusive bosses such as one of them shadowing my work often telling me I did a "very poor job" even for a task as simple as sweeping floors and I was like "you know it's pretty hard for me to concentrate with you hovering over me." Thus, that was pretty humiliating as she was shadowing me in front of the public.
I managed to negotiate a salary higher than that of my department head. However, the work environment was not pleasant. Of course, everyone knew about it, and I became the company meme. Still, my primary goal was a good paycheck, and I am a skilled job hopper.
Well, thank you. This helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel a bit. Current workplace has really eaten at my character and I’m wondering how my next workplace will be. I’ll probably have to rewatch this a few times.
It happened to me. I never recovered regarding my salary. And it took lots of years to find another job. Sigh. Very frustrating. BTW, there were no red flags. My old Boss died and the new Boss was toxic. So don't blame the victim.
I had this experience this year. I was let go and later found that the manager wanted someone else to have my position so they fabricated issues to justify letting me go.
Oh man, this is such a relief to hear. At my former job, every captain kept leaving. And I wanted to stay strong, not be a quitter. But it took a toll on my mental health, later I found it that my boss was forced to retire and the second boss was laid off as well. Apparently it was a management issue. But it made me feel like I wasn’t capable enough and I had failed. As you said, I’m taking some time to recover to then get back on track and fall in love with my profession again.
6:42 Thank you for this. Remembering my worth is something I've certainly struggled with. When every day at the office felt like a pass fail day and when it felt like everything I was doing was wrong no matter what it's very easy to be like the guy in your story and think I suck in this role so why would anyone else want me? And it really helps to remember other managers who praised my work ethic in previous roles. That clients even in this last role liked what I did and said so. That former co-workers have offered to me give positive references. And that just because this wasn't a good fit doesn't mean there isn't something better on the horizon, and that feeling like the 'problem child' of your department is a sign of toxic work culture. The fact that a lot of people left during the first year I was there including the two who hired me should have been a giant red flag that something was wrong! But at least I now know some more questions to ask in an interview to get a better read of the company culture next time.
My new direct manager never gave me feedback even though I asked during our weekly 1:1. One thing she/they did let me know since day 1 that she/they would never be interested in my career advancement. Then I was laid off. Needless to say, my sense of self-worth was jolted. I feel much better after watching this video. Thank you!
Thank you for this video. I just left my job because of the exact reasons you explained. I hate to use the word toxic, but I guess that’s exactly what it was. There were so many red flags… lies, miscommunication, incompetence. It totally destroyed my motivation. I left without having another job lined up. But I planned for it. I am taking the time off for myself to recharge and recover.
Last February, I was terminated without cause or explanation from an extremely toxic large employer. I worked there for five years. I was bullied, publicly humiliated on social media, and given no training or opportunity to succeed despite having been up front about transitioning from a completely different industry (highway transportation to mining). Even thinking about this place or talking about it causes me intense distress. The month prior to my termination, a lump began to form on my throat / thyroid area. I was terrified I might have cancer and tried to ignore it. I never received medical treatment for the lump. Interestingly, less than a month after being terminated (over the phone no less), the lump had shrank considerably, and two months after, it was completely gone. I often wonder what might have become of me had I remained suffering silently working for that employer. I wonder how big the lump might have grown. Toxic work environments just aren't worth it, no matter how much you might be getting paid.
The story you told hits very close to home. A friend of mine was also working for a big company as a software developer, he was doing very well. He got a good offer(compensation) at a small company, long story short, he didn't make through the probation period and was never able to recover from the situation. I used to share your videos with him, but our relationship turned sour a couple of months after the ordeal. This is a great video, hope he finds it.
Thanks for posting this story. I'm going through something like this right now. I was hired to be trained to replace a Senior Engineer, but it couldn't be put in writing because it would be decided by an outside agency. Then they hired a newer engineer for me to train. Then they began praising all of her work, despite me having done that same work previously and never receiving praise. Then my accomplishments kept being treated like they were the bare minimum and anything that I had done beyond my typical tasks were insignificant. Then we started having to compete for work. To avoid giving up my work and further criticism, I got sucked into working unpaid overtime; many weeks I would sleep then work then stop to sleep and repeat. They tried to claim the work allocation was meant to help with my project load; I knew what they were doing. Just recently, they posted the job position for the promotion; they modified it so we both could apply. I eventually ende up getting therapy and got diagnosed with depression. Had to pay out of pocket for it. Definitely been a reality check. Trying to rectify my work situation to obtain a better work-life balance. Hearing stories like this helps. Thanks again for sharing!
Felt my career going this way was high performer creating the future of the company, new CTO comes in says everything is crap brings in a team to rebuild everything, nothing works, I get blamed for it which probably lead to getting laid off by them. Found a new company and much healthier environment even if it's a step back. Anxiety and stress are no joke to ignore.
I was in a job that got so bad I had to ask my dr if I had a stroke because all of a sudden I was stuttering every sentence even in my personal life. Turns out my self esteem and self worth got so bad that I was over questioning every sentence so bad that I was stuttering over myself.
I started working at age 15 in retail, and made it to age 38 before I experienced a toxic organization. I feel like I lucked out, making it that long. We had a hostile takeover at the courthouse I was working at. It was brutal and such a slap in the face. I was heartbroken. I only lasted another 4 months and went to much, much greener pastures. Thank God that job came up when it did. The whole thing was such a whirlwind. I can't even imagine how I would be if I didn't leave when I did.
Hey! I just wanted to say thank you so much for these awesome videos - it feels like being able to talk to a sensible, supportive mentor who has your best interests at heart. 🙂 I grew up in a family which doesn't have many role models for things like career or stability, so I didn't receive a lot of these lessons and floundered a lot in my twenties making "easy" career mistakes. These videos have been an invaluable resource for me, and encouraged me to be a lot more strategic and intentional about how I move forward into my next decade. I feel much more in control of my trajectory now, and owe a lot of my newfound confidence to these videos. So, thanks again. 🙂
Thank you for this video. I left my first, and very toxic, company and started a new job the following week. I think I still was carrying a lot of feelings from the old place (I wasn't given a send off and colleagues were rude toward me during my last two weeks). I wish I took a week in between to reset before starting the new job.
I worked at one job that started out great but the signs were there. Unfortunately, it took me 24 years to finally leave them. Then, I went to work for another company who turned out to be more of the same toxicity. I finally found another job where they treat employees with respect and I realized just how much damage I had suffered. I was so angry!
A couple years back, I left a major hotel corporation after joining for 2 months. Everyone was great except the person I was working under. Under her management, I literally became a shell of my former self and it was affecting everyone around me as well. I decided right then and there that the money wasn’t worth it.
Hi Brian, when I listened to this video, I thought you were talking about me! How this exactly describes my situation. The problem I was recruited for my abilities and what I have done in my career, and was moved from one state to another. Few months into the job I found out how toxic, a lier demeaning, abusive and pathetic micromanager my boss was. The problem I could not leave since otherwise I had to payback all the moving expenses ($90+). So I tolerated as much as possible, then I complained to his boss. At the beginning he changed but did not know( or ignored) that he was working in the back ground to get me out. I am glad I was done with him and with this absolutely toxic place of work!
I really appreciate this video. This happened to me. Senior leadership was difficult and under minded my work. Ultimately we got acquired and senior leadership put me on the do not transfer list. The stories go on. It affected my relationships and mental health. Know, your worth, sus out the toxic cultures and the seconddd you start to lose confidence and feel demeaned look for other opportunities. I ignored the red flags and what I foresaw ended me
Think this happened to me in my last but one place. I was getting so stressed it was getting me down. I had to leave that place, but I didn't give myself any time to process. So it carried over into my contract period off my new place. I was to afraid to get on people's bad sides. So I sadly got let go after my contract ran out as it just didn't work out. I am now 4 month without work, but I feel so much better mentally. I feel like I am ready to go back in next year.
OMG, Im a engineering contractor in the pharmaceutical industry. I basically switch projects every 6-12 months and everywhere i go is Toxic. I have to be careful in carrying to much baggage from previous projects to new ones and reacting inappropriately. I had to quit a project about 6 years ago, because i felt the people who were handling things before handing Project Management over to me, screwed up the budget and the books. On top of that i was getting no cooperation on cleaning up the mess they had created. Because of my fear of getting blamed for it, I quit very early. I kind of feel bad sometimes, maybe i overreacted, but it was just the side of the bed I woke up from that day. Im constantly throwing away my feelings of the past and trying to keep chin up, and carry on, because of the importance of the work. I recently corrected a year ago, and cancelled my departure to stay another 3 months and help in an important area of cancer drugs. Eventually the politics started and me and 12 other contractors got the boot. What keeps me going is the importance of the work and I carry on now the best I can.
Man I worked this one place back in 2021 into 2022 for 11 months. It had such an impact on my mental health. I think I’d rather take a bullet to the head than go back to that job. I still have PSTD over that place sometimes
after being let go after 10 years (never was given full time) i need to make a change. i worked in schools as a sub. teacher, and you have no idea how toxic it is now days
I've seen incompetent unproductive people coddled for months and competent people fired for no reason except a manager feels. I wish more managers could leave their egos at home.
Boosting a person's ego shouldn't give an employee months to be allowed to be incompetent and hurting a managers ego shouldn't be an immediate firing.
My last place of work used to alternate between writing me up and giving me discount cards for doing a good job. Serious mind fuckey.
Mind fuckery.
Hahaha this video's timing is amazing.
I just left a toxic workplace that affected me both mentally and physically after 16 months of suffering. I am now in my third week at a new job that is much healthier and friendlier. My hair stopped falling, my migraines have subsided and i don't struggle getting out of bed anymore.
The workplace really has an effect on you!! Please do yourself a favor and LEAVE the toxic mess!!!
Good for you, I'm actually putting my notice in tomorrow. I stayed 8 years and have had hair fall out, destroyed my body working 6 days a week 10 hour days when I didn't even need too. God has really helped me out to be honest. Buy I agree with you 100%
I just left my toxic workplace on 12/19. In the process of healing
Good for you! I also left a toxic job that was caused my physical health to deteriorate, it was so bad that on a Saturday as I was trying to relax at a cafe I looked up and realized that my eyes couldn't focus on anything around me and my brain could hardly process anything. It was like my entire nervous system was broken. No job is worth that kind of dangerous stress.
Congrats! I'm working on leaving mine right now. It's rough but I'm trying to keep my head up and keep moving forward. I just keep telling myself that this is not forever, it's only for now.
Congrats! Trying to leave mine- it isn’t worth the “perks” if you’re not feeling like yourself or losing your sanity and health. Here’s to hoping the next year will be better!
Been in that situation before and lasted a few months. It was insane and I don’t even put that horrible place on my resume either. It worked out just fine in the end.
I relate so much and they didn't even gave me a letter of experience 💀
If you were there a few months, how do you account for the gap in employment?
A few months doesn't look bad at all on a resume! It's normal, in general. Even 6 months isn't that bad! Now, more than 6, 9 or 12 months, you better be goin to school or have your own business, less employers will judge you ignorantly and unjustly!
I have gaps in my resume from WC TTD. I explained to them that I was dealing with taking care of family issues.
People tell you to leave a toxic relationship right away, but they rarely tell you to get out of a toxic work environment right away. I wish I had because staying in toxic work environments did more damage to my psyche, self esteem, and health, than any bad relationship ever did. I knew to get out of bad relationships and was applauded for doing so, but I was actively encouraged to stay in toxic work environments. We need to change this in our culture.
Bad workplace = Bad relationship. They’re the same or worse. Don’t worry about what others think. Do what’s best for you.
Thank you for mentioning that! And, it’s family who tends to be the most confused as to why you want to quit a “steady” job.
Yeh that sounds be from materialism
Burn out is so difficult to recover from. Unfortunately I’ve worked in one toxic place after another. This is awful. I am so over corporate jobs!
Same but I'm stuck at the retail level. I'm worried I'm emotionally damaged beyond repair. People can be so evil.
Regular jobs aren't much better and the pay is worse.
@allisonb8643 ikr. I enjoyed the vast majority of retail customers but coworkers & bosses were horrible
They are draining.
Sad, but true. ☹️
I've been out of work for over a year because of a toxic workplace. I have not recovered fully.😢 Burnout is real.
Hang in there. Good opportunity to take a few çourses to expand your skill set. No job is worth your health. Look at it as a learning experience. You will be ok. Don't let the bastards win.
It is and I can relate. 🎉
I went through a toxic environment that left me timid and I lost my confidence right after. I was regarded as a high performer in the prior position, moved to a new industry and the company didn’t give me time to get acquainted to the job and expectations. In addition, there was a huge mismatch between my personality and the team’s. The experience left me feeling worthless after getting verbally abused.
In addition to the steps Brian mentioned, it may be worth exploring therapy to help you recover. I ended up getting another job 3 months later and the downtime was very much needed to help me heal mentally and physically. I wish everyone going through this experience the best. It’s a lesson that I will never forget.
Im going through this now and I'm putting off the possibility of resigning because of guilt that I've only been with them for a month 😭 absolutely the same for me. Regarded as a performer in my previous company but my current manager set up impossible expectations knowing that I've only been on the job for half the 4months, with 2 months spent on training (this is a very technical-specific position). I'm new to the workforce and this is traumatizing
@@royallan You do whats best for you! Dont let any job or person destroy you. Redirect
@@gracehomes3887 thank you!! Quick update: went back to my previous employer after they agreed to offer me the current market salary (they said they couldn't afford to give me a raise the first time around so i had to quit). The manager in this last company who sets surreal expectations to newbies apparently did it because his team were "overstaffed" and corporate refused his request to transfer some of us in his team to other teams so he plotted to make us quit with his bullshit. HR eventually caught up after I (and two others) filled out the exit interview survey for why we're resigning and said it's because of him and he was immediately "dismissed" Indefinitely, around the same time I rendered my 4 weeks notice. Great outcome in the end.
Nothing hit the spot more than that call from my lawyer saying my former toxic employer was willing to settle the lawsuit.
@edcampbell2419 we went through the state instead of eeoc. I just looked up a lawyer thru the NELA website and they handled everything
Thinking of taking this approach too. I lost out on other opportunities that i turned down and accepted this offer to only get laid off after 2 months. No sign of it coming, no PIP. Does suing make you a target for not being hired for other jobs?
@@gatsbyse20 my lawyer negotiated a neutral reference, meaning if anyone calls them for a reference, they are allowed to state how long i worked there for and that is all. if they mention the lawsuit or say anything disparaging, i can sue them again for breach of contract.
My brains got so scrambled that I was too messed up to file a lawsuit.
Glad to hear it. It's not easy.
Great topic! I worked for a VERY toxic corporate environment 5 years ago. I was middle management and saw people being “set up to fail”, nepotism hire’s get endless promotions and witnessed fake reporting to downplay performance metrics. It was an awful experience.
Set up to fail...is very common nowadays.
It is about who can lie and backstab the best
Sounds exactly like a large Corp I worked for years ago. No more large corporations
I experienced all this at the job I just left
It's kind of disgusting.
The things thatve helped me most in recovery from quitting a toxic situation:
1. Individual talk therapy.
2. Minimizing exposure to the insanity of the LinkedIn timeline. It’s all weird brags, doom news about layoffs, and people posting about how sad they are. Discouraging.
3. Spending time with colleagues that are thriving in their jobs. Seeing that satisfaction is possible.
I like the “one toxic workplace in your career” 😅 almost all workplaces are toxic like super toxic…lies gaslighting
Turnover is high from that bs.
I had a very toxic boss. He was a very arrogant person and everything I did was always wrong. A few weeks into my new job, my new manager said thanks great work to something I did. I was so shocked I didn’t believe it
It took me almost a year to recover from mine. New job is super relaxed now. Thank God I walked out of that nightmare
another thing to mention, that he didn't mention, is the fear that remains after you've quit and managed to get a good job in a good company. I still have doubts about my skills as a web developer and I'm always amassed when my boss tells me I've done great. Even though I've been in this company for 7 years now and would probably get a better salary elsewhere, I would simply not leave. What if I get back into another toxic workplace? And they're so many...
This!!! Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this.
When you attend a job interview, often the employer see you as someone begging for money. You have to treat this interview as a 2 way street. You are interviewing them too. You need to pick hints whether or not it is a good workplace, good team, you consider joining. A 20% pay raise is not worth it if your mental health will be compromised at the new workplace.
Or you could not allow other people to impact your emotions like that. Imo it's very limiting to your own growth to operate on the fear of the unknown.
@@ReaveIdono Agreed. Staying with the same company just because you have your comfort zone is not necessarily the best option. There could be a major f*** up tomorrow, involving you, and all of a sudden, the atmosphere at work turns toxic. Or your manager could make you redundant tomorrow even if he's happy with your work. If another employer offers 10% or more than what you earn atm, you need to say yes.
The daycare centers I worked at had the most toxic environments ever. Gossip. Backstabbing. Cliquishness. Whining. Complaining. Laziness. Sneakiness.
Many times my soul was just hurt and crushed.
I hope the little ones didn't suffer too much
women
worked for many female bosses & coworkers over 30 years and I can count on one hand the number that didn't eventually turn to petty games and the other behavior op listed. ppl are generally all on a mental illness spectrum & men suck too but the way women go about it is especially demoralizing to me personally.
@WackadoodleMalarkey of course they suffer. they can sense the tension even if they don't witness the behavior
The timing on this is impeccable. Just left one with no backup plan. Technically on personal/sick leave atm and using it up. If your gut is telling you to leave and leave immediately, do it. Money will be tight but it is far better than headaches, anxiety, depression and panic attacks daily like I was experiencing. I could not job search clearly and effectively whilst working in an environment like that. As you mentioned Brian, when the entire place is toxic, the conversations are always negative and sad. It is not a good headspace to be in and continue to hear how others are also being mistreated.
My pro tip though? Apply for everything that suits your skills (even if you have zero intent of taking the role). Why? Interview practice. So important to get your confidence back and there is no better way than sharpening those communication skills! If you are not working, it is a great way to still have a routine and a habit of getting ready for a professional setting. It's worked for me and been a nice ego boost after what I've been through. Having options is better than no options too.
I am in the same situation as you right now. Got two offers now.
I had only 6 months to go to be fully vested in my 401K, but I couldn't do it
Feels like you’re making progress as it’s easy to fall into lazy/depressive moods like I did when I lost motivation despite my dwindling bank account.
I spent 11 years at a toxic job. It absolutely took a toll on me. Left in 2018 and have had 2 crappy jobs since then. Definitely hard to get your confidence back after what I experienced.
It really is. Most companies seem to suck
Think about getting a career councillor or see if there is a job centre or something at your local library that could help you figure out what industry you may want to get into…. I went through a similar thing and found career councilling helped me realize I was done with banking.
I remember watching a video of a psychiatrist describing a toxic/abusive relationship, and it seemed like he was explicitly defining key characteristics of effectively every employee-employer relationship I've seen.
In the job I had after my startup did not make it, I was literally abused by my boss and went from ceo to slave. It was so bad (and so far away, 2h commute) I swore to myself never again. Im looking for a job for over 6 months now, but I would rather flip burgers to make ends meat rather than be abused by an ego maniac boss. Never again guys, life is too short to suffer. Downsize if you need, yeah it sucks, but you will be far happier than having your paycheck the only highlight of your life.
What good is the good paycheck if you never have time to spend it? I agree. Live way below your means. That's where the real power is.
I did just that this year. Previously, I'd to work even during the school holidays & whatnots. But now, no more. I know it sounds crazy, but I can say I'm stress-free & happier. Although just a few day ago, for a minute I forgot I'm my own boss now. 🤣
@@RebekahAPinto I mean finding a stable job with a lovely team is possible, it makes you happy than at home I think, but its also rare, especially in tech (me), so if you need to earn way less in order to be happy, so be it, never ever again, I would rather have 0 money.
Agreed
Agreed. Money can’t buy happiness or career fulfillment.
I had the exact experience three jobs ago. I left after three years of torment. Now I am happy and thriving, I also exponged the organization from my resume and all contacts. Once you realize an organization is toxic don't get mad just begin planning your graceful exit.
I resigned from a college professor position without notice after sitting through verbal abuse and gaslighting. I went to therapy and I'm now slowly gaining back my self. It's been 6 weeks since that last dreadful day. Now I feel good enough to start the job search
I resigned from teaching too. From evil administration to evil students and their nasty parents, I was just done. Students think they run the place and admin bows to them. The last year I taught was my final year. I was over it. Took the school 10 months to replace me and they started the program late as a result.
Praying my next job is 10 times better 😞🙏🏽
I worked for a famous high end clothing store, the facade exemplified calm, but behind the curtain it was chaos and emotionally damaging.
I was a software engineer working for a major healthcare insurance company. I was working with a guy (our team leader) that always gave me praise on my projects and was way laid back. He left the position and someone else replaced him. I swear she hated me from day ONE! She was too big into micromanaging... If I sat in traffic for 2 hours getting into Pittsburgh and was 1 minute late she would say I need to work on my attendance. I left there not long after. Now I work for a robotics company that is SO laid back it's not funny. I work from home 90% of the time. She does not care when I work as long as I get stuff done... on the 2 days a month our team has to be in the office... I guess to just make an appearance we show up when we want and leave when we want. No specific times unless meeting or something. I love it there.
Law Firms, Healthcare and Retail are the worst places to work at, if you're in IT and Tech, bro! Take it from me!! Been there, done that!! I know exactly how you feel and what you been through!! I will not work at Law Firms, Hospitals, Clinics or Retail places ever again, as a Software, Network, Hardware or whatever type of Engineer they need or want!! Those places put very or no value on IT or Tech professionals and are full of stupid people in the IT and Tech departments!!
@@izamalcadosa2951 Also include CPA firms...too much toxicity from where I came from.
It’s BS that ANYONE needs to show up in the office 2 days just to “show face.” Like let me work. I don’t need to see anyone and unless you’re holding an important team meeting or are making big decisions that affect the team, then you’re interrupting my workflow from my home office. Don’t waste my time and I won’t waste yours.
Just left before Christmas I decided didnt want to stay on beyond the New Year/Birthday. Don't regret it.
Good for you!
Try to stay debt free and you won't have to stay at companies like this.
Perfect timing! I just quit a management job that was sucking my soul from me because I got hired doing a dream job starting in two Mondays. I'll definitely put in some recovery.
I was in a toxic work environment but the recovery process has been long. I was so drained by that place, which was unassuming from the outside. My experience was the opposite of their branding, so a toxic paradise of sorts. This affected my psychological, physical, mental, and emotional health. Thank you for making this video because some people don’t understand how deep the damage can be from toxic places where you’re gaslighted on a regular basis and you have to pretend to be ok.
I'm 4 weeks into recovering from a toxic fortunate 500 global company. I quit without notice and now hoping to find something that aligns with my values.
Several years ago my late grandfather predicted for me that my career will take many twists and turns and that many opportunities will arise in the future. He was very spot on, especially amid the pandemic and about to come out of a toxic work environment where I was given several reassignments till they let me go due to pandemic closures (and to "cut expenses" or so they told me). Then less than a year later I found a much better, more fitting job that I'm working at today. So I went from having a toxic job to a job where they respect and value me.
Your grandfather was wise, we should listen to our elders more. Good for you and the change. An old boss said at his retirement ceremony "If you wanna grow, you gotta go" always stucked with me
Congrats! You are one of the lucky ones!
I've been through similar situation in 2020. I got so mad at my toxic supervisor that I quit my multinational job in April of that year. Covid was all the more lethal for me because of it. It really messed up my career since then. I'm still struggling.
You "quit" straight up. That's taking charge and you will be in a better place soon. Most people "quietly" look for another job, and end up stepping into another shit job. The option to straight up walk out with no job waiting may be the best thing to do, sometimes. If you have a history of "tolerating" the randomness of finding a great job, I would consider that. In fact, it's on my mind right now. Just want to get finish a half year or so, first.
I identify with the person in your story. I left a job where I was a top performer and then within 4 months of the new job, wanted to quit. It was so high pressure, I was micromanaged, constantly shown how my work wasn’t good but my coworkers work was about the same. I stuck out because there were some company events to attend and then some financial incentives. Developed chronic pain and needed surgery around the 1 yr mark. Still at this forsaken job another year later because the pain hasn’t let up, and because they added even more financial incentives based on vesting dates, and they dangled a carrot to help me change careers. That carrot died and the vest dates have all passed. Ive had it with the amount of anxiety and confidence dissolving this job makes me feel. I was a top performer for years before, and I’ve talked to peers at other companies - their work is less than half as difficult but paid only about 10%-20% less. You can’t pay me just a tad more to feel this rotten literally all the time. It bleeds into everything I do. I’ve committed to quitting by mid Jan.
Hope you got out of there, similar story here. The clarity the comes after still has me in awe
Update: I have now quit! It’s the best!!!!!
Having a goal date to quit (like you do) is a great way to cope. As someone who suffered a heart attack as a result of job related stress (amongst other things), while I was working with a company who had GREAT benefits, be sure you’re healthy enough to jump ship while you still have those benefits. Take it from me, it can be hard to start at a new company who doesn’t have benefits (immediately or the same coverage) when you’re still dealing with health issues.
Since it's 100% on the boss to maintain their workers sanity when many of them walk out given the revolving door they're feeling that "nobody wants to work anymore" which they need to look inwardly. I'm pretty sure management has been complaining that "nobody wants to work anymore" since the Pharaoh in Egypt during the construction of the Pyramids.
"If you don't like the way we do it, THEN LET MY PEOPLE GO."
I’ve been in recovery from this type of environment since layoffs. It’s good to hear these thoughts and suggestions from you to affirm the process.
My first job turned terrible after I had to take some medical time off. Nothing I could do after was good enough for my boss. I'm so glad I left, every job after was a big improvement!
I had worked at a toxic workplace. Everyone is really friendly, but that makes it more hard, because everyone is tolerating the boss's bad attitude.
It was so toxic for me that my period stopped for a year. (Only worked for 6 months)
Wow, I literally just was in this situation. I had a boss that hated me and her boss turned the other cheek. She would give me task the would be impossible not to make a mistake because rules changed as you go. She would make me send drafts of my emails and change one or two words and say I made an error. She didn’t want me to go to lunch with anyone. She would blame me for someone else’s errors. She literally built a case and filed me right before Christmas. It was extremely heartbreaking because I gave up another job to go there.
She blamed me for another employee going to HR against her.
I had a similar situation. Except it was my first job, so it really messed with my mental health. I didn't feel like I was capable of working at all because I felt like such a failure. Now I'm realizing that I am capable, people took advantage of me, and I while I still have healing to do I am now working in a job where I feel like I am doing a good job.
this is exactly my situation now and I can’t wait to quit! it sucks that it happens on the first job too…
This video came at the perfect time. I got laid off last year in a horrible market. I ended up having to take a job at a toxic company just to survive. I am feeling so demoralized because I was praised at my last company. Now at my new company I feel set up to fail and no one ever has anything nice to say about my work.
I feel for anyone who has ever gone through a toxic work place experience.
Thanks for this healing video. Toxic jobs are demoralizing to say the least. Victimization is more like it.
This video came at the right time for me as I have left a toxic boss a couple of months ago and will be starting a new job in the new year.
Despite having close to a year off from my last job, I still find myself doubting my abilities. Thanks for sharing these reminders. Wish me luck in my new role!
Wow. It literally felt like you were telling my story. Worked for a large corporation, got a promotion to relocate to a new country, and everything derailed from there. Toxic boss and abusive boss and environment. My confidence was shattered, and I once a creative and confident employee was then lost and unable to function with depression and anxiety. I switched to a new place and exactly what you said happened, I couldn't do it. I had to take a sabbatical. Thank you so much for this video.
This is easier in big cities one of the perks of being in NYC is if the work sucks you can always get another one . Usually if its in rural theres not a lot of options. Im cleaning custudian now but its a lot better than my toxic job. I am now starting at a new job sou wish me well
I worked at one a few years back. After 18 months, I had decided enough was enough. I was fresh off of being put back at "full duty" after a cardiopulmonary incident caused by the workplace. They wasted no time giving me the workload that had caused the issue in the first place. In the middle of the shift, I handed in my stuff, told them some choice words, and walked out. I spent 6 months flushing that awful company out of my system before landing where I've been since November of 2019. It paid much better and I knew it was the right fit when everybody, owner included, never mentioned it being a "family company."
I hope your doing better. Currently I have a SCI caused by an incompetent coworker. They are trying to force me back to work. Thank god I have the ability to get up and leave.
I’m in that situation right now, after being laid off from a job after only a few months. There were some definite red flags in my manager and even more so, his manager. So perhaps it’s for the best that I got laid off. But it’s hard to get my confidence up enough for interviews!
needed this video. A company rode me hard and put me away wet after the pandemic. had me 1099 for 3 months and had me on payroll for 89 days to avoid paying me unemployment. 12 hour days 6 days a week in NYC for only 60k. Constantly pawned work off on me and degraded me for not having a degree. I've been too traumatized to go back to work since. I've made many mistakes and I do have a record but in my experience most of these employers don't believe you are worth any dignity.
I just have to say thank you so much for all of these videos. I've been in a negative situation for a number of years, and these videos have inspired me to look for another job, believe in myself, realize I am valuable, and that there is hope. My family went through a personal tragedy about a year ago, and my current employer was totally unsuportive. You're absolutely right when you are treated this way - it does begin to affect your confidence. The organization I work for is completely toxic. I really knew that from the time of the interview, but I needed the job and thought I could navigate the circumstances. You bring up a lot of good points in this video.
Same
I just went through something like this. I got tired of fighting the bad and I left. Tomorrow is my last day and I cannot wait to feel the weight off of me. People were manipulative, easily offended, gossiping, and spreading rumors. It’s disgusting and I want nothing to do with it. It’s sad because the company I worked for made decisions to put certain people in leadership roles and they are not leaders. Sometimes bad people get by and it can take 1 person to turn a workplace bad especially if they are in a leadership role. Great video. I’ve been trying to process all of this. Thank you!
I just quit a toxic workplace a couple of weeks ago to start a new job and things are so much different for me now.
Im so glad to see a video about this. My last job was 13 years. I started a happy college grad and left with my PhD, borderline alcoholism, and on anti depressants 😂. And I got weight loss surgery since I probably gained and lost 300lbs over the years. Looks good on the resume though.
Hey thanks for this video. This is so pervasive in the workplace. Mojo is hard to get back in a really toxic workplace. It’s not that easy to change jobs. This is a topic that needs to delved into.
5:11 I feel that. It's something I've battled with recently, and though I don't think that anymore, those feelings rear their ugly heads every once in a while. But I don't let that sense of defeatism control me anymore.
Thankfully, I didn't wait for years.
Saw the writing on the wall after a few months.....
Promises of training, exploiting the employees under me, the lack of kept promises for other employees all across the chain.
Had a different job after 14 months, glad for it too.
I definitely had this problem. I've never been able to fully recover. So many toxic employees in that job. They behaved like thugs and abusive warlords. I felt imprisoned. When i finally quit, I almost felt like I escaped was a pow camp
I can’t thank you enough for your content! I not only got out of a highly toxic work environment I was stuck for years, I landed my dream job and getting back to good health and life. More money, great work culture and a team that supports one another. I used your interview videos after taking in your advice on what a toxic company is and how we get stuck thinking it is us. Happy New Year!
Totally worth listening to this video! Specially the part he mentions about healing.
I was in a toxic work environment for 3 years straight full of misoginy, where the last year broke me because I was constantly being sexually harassed, discriminated about my nationality (listening to comments about me being 'from the other side of the wall' or 'being Mexican' while I am actually Venezuelan) and intimidated to make me fearful and them being able to control me. These experiences started to affect me physically, from me stopping wearing make up, having a twitch in my eye, and not being able to eat correctly. Of course all of these experiences led me to a lot of suicidal ideations, depression and anxiety even after not being in that environment anymore.
I rapidly jumped into another job, without even acknowledging what I went through and not taking the time to heal. Because of not healing I jumped into the negative loop, although I was not physically there anymore it kept influencing me. Until I started to recognize what happened to me, started therapy and gave myself the time to heal things started to go better. Probably this story does not have the perfect ending, because I recently got laid off, but at least feel capable of creating and confident of my abilities after more than three years struggling with being creative.
It is important to heal and recognize the situations you've been through, it has taken more than two years to recover and now I am trying to get back to what I really want to do. Healing is important, not only for your job performance, but for you as a human. Probably if I did this earlier the negative loop could've being stopped, but nothing is perfect and at least now I am happy to be able to start again.
The story you told is EXACTLY what I’m going through. Small role to big role. I needed time to grow but they are not patient enough and have way to high expectations like as if I could become an executive over night just cos my job title changed. Zero training, zero handover, minimal resources, minimal support. Just six weeks into the role, plenty of pressure from a highly delusional and poor manager. They’re making me hate my chosen career and I don’t even want to work anymore but it’s just cos I’m in a bad company.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now. It's scary!
One way I deal with a former toxic workplace is to give the building the finger when I drive by. Not out the window so anyone can see, but just under the side window of my car. I know it’s childish, but it always made me laugh.
So imagine my surprise when I drove by last month and saw the building being demolished. They’ve laid off so many people that they’re getting rid of one of the three buildings on their campus. It’s not being replaced either. The site is being converted to green space.
Maybe that will help me finally move on and give my finger a rest.
😂😂
You see how karma comes around ,all the people in that place probably felt exactly the way you did..and I'm so happy you can give your finger a rest😅 finally!!!
This is the situation I was in and its actually negatively impacting my current job. I got away from the toxicity and was only there for 6 months but any time I sit down to do any work now I get anxious and nervous and the nerves and anxiety build up until I need to stop and walk away. My current employers did nothing to cause this problem, I don't know how to fix it but I also know I can't be effective like this. I have no idea what to do and its starting to feel like its only going to be a matter of time before I get fired because I now have what effectively feels like a type of block that's keeping me from operating at 100%.
I've certainly had my share of abusive bosses such as one of them shadowing my work often telling me I did a "very poor job" even for a task as simple as sweeping floors and I was like "you know it's pretty hard for me to concentrate with you hovering over me." Thus, that was pretty humiliating as she was shadowing me in front of the public.
'we'll train you', I've heard that plenty of times, never much training
I just left a job that I was told we need to train you on this and that. Never trained after discussing with management three times,finally quit.
Yes, I definitely saw the red flags--and believed I could handle them.
I had a similar situation before. The moment I realized that job was effecting me mentally I put on a 2 weeks notice and quit.
Yes: 1) Deception: bait and switch, and 2) Ignoring red flags.
I managed to negotiate a salary higher than that of my department head. However, the work environment was not pleasant. Of course, everyone knew about it, and I became the company meme. Still, my primary goal was a good paycheck, and I am a skilled job hopper.
Up and away to the next! 😅
Well, thank you. This helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel a bit. Current workplace has really eaten at my character and I’m wondering how my next workplace will be. I’ll probably have to rewatch this a few times.
It happened to me. I never recovered regarding my salary. And it took lots of years to find another job. Sigh. Very frustrating. BTW, there were no red flags. My old Boss died and the new Boss was toxic. So don't blame the victim.
I had this experience this year. I was let go and later found that the manager wanted someone else to have my position so they fabricated issues to justify letting me go.
Oh man, this is such a relief to hear.
At my former job, every captain kept leaving. And I wanted to stay strong, not be a quitter. But it took a toll on my mental health, later I found it that my boss was forced to retire and the second boss was laid off as well. Apparently it was a management issue. But it made me feel like I wasn’t capable enough and I had failed.
As you said, I’m taking some time to recover to then get back on track and fall in love with my profession again.
That's very true. People will be people and sometimes poison your pool if they don't like you. Self accountability is important as well.
6:42 Thank you for this. Remembering my worth is something I've certainly struggled with. When every day at the office felt like a pass fail day and when it felt like everything I was doing was wrong no matter what it's very easy to be like the guy in your story and think I suck in this role so why would anyone else want me?
And it really helps to remember other managers who praised my work ethic in previous roles. That clients even in this last role liked what I did and said so. That former co-workers have offered to me give positive references.
And that just because this wasn't a good fit doesn't mean there isn't something better on the horizon, and that feeling like the 'problem child' of your department is a sign of toxic work culture. The fact that a lot of people left during the first year I was there including the two who hired me should have been a giant red flag that something was wrong! But at least I now know some more questions to ask in an interview to get a better read of the company culture next time.
My new direct manager never gave me feedback even though I asked during our weekly 1:1. One thing she/they did let me know since day 1 that she/they would never be interested in my career advancement. Then I was laid off. Needless to say, my sense of self-worth was jolted. I feel much better after watching this video. Thank you!
Thank you for this video. I just left my job because of the exact reasons you explained. I hate to use the word toxic, but I guess that’s exactly what it was. There were so many red flags… lies, miscommunication, incompetence. It totally destroyed my motivation. I left without having another job lined up. But I planned for it. I am taking the time off for myself to recharge and recover.
Last February, I was terminated without cause or explanation from an extremely toxic large employer. I worked there for five years. I was bullied, publicly humiliated on social media, and given no training or opportunity to succeed despite having been up front about transitioning from a completely different industry (highway transportation to mining).
Even thinking about this place or talking about it causes me intense distress. The month prior to my termination, a lump began to form on my throat / thyroid area. I was terrified I might have cancer and tried to ignore it.
I never received medical treatment for the lump. Interestingly, less than a month after being terminated (over the phone no less), the lump had shrank considerably, and two months after, it was completely gone.
I often wonder what might have become of me had I remained suffering silently working for that employer. I wonder how big the lump might have grown. Toxic work environments just aren't worth it, no matter how much you might be getting paid.
6:06 This advice is worth it's weight in gold. Sometime multiple suck and you get caught in the middle of their infighting.
The story you told hits very close to home. A friend of mine was also working for a big company as a software developer, he was doing very well. He got a good offer(compensation) at a small company, long story short, he didn't make through the probation period and was never able to recover from the situation. I used to share your videos with him, but our relationship turned sour a couple of months after the ordeal. This is a great video, hope he finds it.
Thanks for posting this story. I'm going through something like this right now.
I was hired to be trained to replace a Senior Engineer, but it couldn't be put in writing because it would be decided by an outside agency. Then they hired a newer engineer for me to train. Then they began praising all of her work, despite me having done that same work previously and never receiving praise. Then my accomplishments kept being treated like they were the bare minimum and anything that I had done beyond my typical tasks were insignificant. Then we started having to compete for work. To avoid giving up my work and further criticism, I got sucked into working unpaid overtime; many weeks I would sleep then work then stop to sleep and repeat. They tried to claim the work allocation was meant to help with my project load; I knew what they were doing. Just recently, they posted the job position for the promotion; they modified it so we both could apply. I eventually ende up getting therapy and got diagnosed with depression. Had to pay out of pocket for it.
Definitely been a reality check. Trying to rectify my work situation to obtain a better work-life balance. Hearing stories like this helps. Thanks again for sharing!
Yes this is true- it's a nightmare and it affected me for 6 years!
Felt my career going this way was high performer creating the future of the company, new CTO comes in says everything is crap brings in a team to rebuild everything, nothing works, I get blamed for it which probably lead to getting laid off by them. Found a new company and much healthier environment even if it's a step back. Anxiety and stress are no joke to ignore.
I was in a job that got so bad I had to ask my dr if I had a stroke because all of a sudden I was stuttering every sentence even in my personal life. Turns out my self esteem and self worth got so bad that I was over questioning every sentence so bad that I was stuttering over myself.
You should've made this video so much sooner. So many people needed this.
Thanks for this one, i definitively will need this when i quit from my father's toxic family business.
I started working at age 15 in retail, and made it to age 38 before I experienced a toxic organization. I feel like I lucked out, making it that long. We had a hostile takeover at the courthouse I was working at. It was brutal and such a slap in the face. I was heartbroken. I only lasted another 4 months and went to much, much greener pastures. Thank God that job came up when it did. The whole thing was such a whirlwind. I can't even imagine how I would be if I didn't leave when I did.
Hey! I just wanted to say thank you so much for these awesome videos - it feels like being able to talk to a sensible, supportive mentor who has your best interests at heart. 🙂
I grew up in a family which doesn't have many role models for things like career or stability, so I didn't receive a lot of these lessons and floundered a lot in my twenties making "easy" career mistakes. These videos have been an invaluable resource for me, and encouraged me to be a lot more strategic and intentional about how I move forward into my next decade.
I feel much more in control of my trajectory now, and owe a lot of my newfound confidence to these videos. So, thanks again. 🙂
Thank you for this video. I left my first, and very toxic, company and started a new job the following week. I think I still was carrying a lot of feelings from the old place (I wasn't given a send off and colleagues were rude toward me during my last two weeks). I wish I took a week in between to reset before starting the new job.
I worked at one job that started out great but the signs were there. Unfortunately, it took me 24 years to finally leave them. Then, I went to work for another company who turned out to be more of the same toxicity. I finally found another job where they treat employees with respect and I realized just how much damage I had suffered. I was so angry!
In my profession, I’ve been promised the world in the interview only to find it is absolutely horrible
Great video. My last company was everything you just said. Now I’m starting a new gig next week and I’m looking forward to making things happen.
A couple years back, I left a major hotel corporation after joining for 2 months. Everyone was great except the person I was working under. Under her management, I literally became a shell of my former self and it was affecting everyone around me as well. I decided right then and there that the money wasn’t worth it.
This is exactly what happened to me, which is why I resigned and found a much better job with a great manager and company culture.
I worked my whole career in a toxic environment. I never got over it. I was a warehouse associate for 30: years.
Hi Brian, when I listened to this video, I thought you were talking about me! How this exactly describes my situation. The problem I was recruited for my abilities and what I have done in my career, and was moved from one state to another. Few months into the job I found out how toxic, a lier demeaning, abusive and pathetic micromanager my boss was. The problem I could not leave since otherwise I had to payback all the moving expenses ($90+). So I tolerated as much as possible, then I complained to his boss. At the beginning he changed but did not know( or ignored) that he was working in the back ground to get me out. I am glad I was done with him and with this absolutely toxic place of work!
I’ve done it. Just move on and don’t look back. Learn from the experience, invest in yourself, turn the page
I really appreciate this video. This happened to me. Senior leadership was difficult and under minded my work. Ultimately we got acquired and senior leadership put me on the do not transfer list. The stories go on. It affected my relationships and mental health.
Know, your worth, sus out the toxic cultures and the seconddd you start to lose confidence and feel demeaned look for other opportunities. I ignored the red flags and what I foresaw ended me
Think this happened to me in my last but one place. I was getting so stressed it was getting me down. I had to leave that place, but I didn't give myself any time to process. So it carried over into my contract period off my new place. I was to afraid to get on people's bad sides. So I sadly got let go after my contract ran out as it just didn't work out. I am now 4 month without work, but I feel so much better mentally. I feel like I am ready to go back in next year.
OMG, Im a engineering contractor in the pharmaceutical industry. I basically switch projects every 6-12 months and everywhere i go is Toxic. I have to be careful in carrying to much baggage from previous projects to new ones and reacting inappropriately. I had to quit a project about 6 years ago, because i felt the people who were handling things before handing Project Management over to me, screwed up the budget and the books. On top of that i was getting no cooperation on cleaning up the mess they had created. Because of my fear of getting blamed for it, I quit very early. I kind of feel bad sometimes, maybe i overreacted, but it was just the side of the bed I woke up from that day. Im constantly throwing away my feelings of the past and trying to keep chin up, and carry on, because of the importance of the work. I recently corrected a year ago, and cancelled my departure to stay another 3 months and help in an important area of cancer drugs. Eventually the politics started and me and 12 other contractors got the boot. What keeps me going is the importance of the work and I carry on now the best I can.
1st experience in the work place was in a toxic environment. still recovering. Its tough out there good luck!
Yes. It never quite goes away.
Man I worked this one place back in 2021 into 2022 for 11 months. It had such an impact on my mental health. I think I’d rather take a bullet to the head than go back to that job. I still have PSTD over that place sometimes
Tell us more!
after being let go after 10 years (never was given full time) i need to make a change. i worked in schools as a sub. teacher, and you have no idea how toxic it is now days