How To Actually Heal From Abuse
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- Опубліковано 4 вер 2024
- How To Actually Heal From Abuse. There are many common mistakes we make that can stunt or even completely stop you from healing and sadly, I see too many people making these mistakes every single day.
I can tell you from experience that making these mistakes could very well be why your healing is taking longer than you thought and could be the exact reason why your journey feels like such a painful uphill battle.
Here's one … Going over and over the events that happened to you because you’ve been told that’s how people deal with their problems.
But what if I told you this is wrong!
And you may be caught up in the web of learning everything you can about narcissistic behavior because you believe it’s important to be informed.
Wrong again!
Join me in today’s Thriver TV episode so I can lead you on the right path to healing for real.
In this episode, I'm going to take you through an exercise that is going to quickly show you the right way to heal - and you're going to experience how simple, natural and easy this is compared to what you've been previously trying.
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Healing is about going within and attending to the pain.
Healing is going OUTSIDE to LORD JESUS, giving it to HIM. I KNOW! HE GIVES REAL PEACE!!!
Ok but how do I go inwards when it’s scary and full of trauma blocking it
I don’t see how it’s possible to love myself again, when this trauma is so big it has consumed me
I desperately need to heal from abuse and negative people lying about me, competing with me, unleashing their jealous insecurities on me and getting others to believe bad lies about me. It’s ruining my success and happiness. I keep being outcasted and mistreated and positive opportunities taken from me, even my love life sabotaged from me to the point where no one I like likes me back. I’m 47 yrs old and too old to be still going through this.
Amazing video, I've been trying to self heal through logical thinking, realise now it needs to come from within.
Very good topic today. Thank you, I never realized I was holding myself back by my toxic thoughts. ☺️
Healing would be a blessing from God.
I went to see my Therapist today. She believes I am on the verge a psychotic break (again). I have been having major problems for a few months. I'm waiting for a response from my MD hopefully today.
I don't mean to bring this up but it's a cautionary tale of what can happen when a person like me with this crap all their life and has other major traumas on top of it. Thank you again, Melanie. This pretty much sums up things.
I found my road to healing from male childhood sexual abuse through meditation and Buddhist teaching. It's the same concept. You free your mind from trauma and basically rewire your brain. Good video.
“It was like being from remote watching myself handing my power away” WOW!!! Preach it sister!! That is such a perfect description of something I’ve felt so many times before but I had never put it into words before.
Melanie, I thank you once again with all my heart. Your videos have possibly literally saved my sanity in a time where my world seem quite dark. You were the GATEWAY to make me understand, for the first time ever, that there is a very different, wholesome way to understand abuse and how to overcome it. From woman to woman and from mum to mum, my deepest gratitude goes to you with this message. Thank you for existing and for your mission 💗
Awww N N thank you for your beautiful words! I am so pleased I could help! xoxo
No Name Same!
Healing COMES after feeling SO overwhelmed; home, alone, after another failed suicide attempt; guilt ridden at what my own Mother put IN me--to make me HATE me--, which made me ACT out and DO things otherwise i would not have done; and which through her/their WORDs, TOOK AWAY ALL I LOVED, including ME, and who I COULD HAVE BEEN, including a Mother and Gramma--as they go to her now.
Healing is falling down on your knees, with a cast on your arm, scrubbing blood lost, and telling GOD, "I can't do this no more alone!".
And HE raised me up in PEACE, led me to HIS HOLY BOOK, which I had never opened, and gave me HIS LOVE, HIS TRUTH OF ME, TRUTH WHY IT HAD TO BE SO IN MY FAMILY. GENESIS 3 CURSE, THE UNSAVED SHALL BE AT ENMITY WITH GODs SAVED! AND SO I SPEND MY DAY PRAYING FOR MY LOST FAMILY THAT I LOVE, THESE HARD LAST DAYS! JESUS IS COMING SOON! DO NOT VACCINATE! !
I hope you are right
Beverly Ballard Please DONT take your life, I thought about it almost daily and prayed for death daily for decades, even attempted it a few times. Get OUT. Except Christ and HE will NEVER LEAVE YOU.
How does one forget the overwhelm damage done to them
@@reg8297 You GIVE the PAIN to GOD, as HE, thru HIS WORD gives to you your REAL WORTH, YOUR REAL TRUTH, and you begin to understand WHY--that YOU, the SCAPEGOAT, are the ONE GOD CHOSE TO INITIATE CHANGE IN YOUR FAMILY, SO THE MULTIGENERATIONAL ABUSE CAN BEGIN, WITH GOD, WHO KNOWS ALL, TO HEAL AND CHANGE WITH OUR OWN CHILDREN. IM NOT SUICIDAL ANY MORE. I HAVE PURPOSE, I AM GODs.
The COST OF DISCIPLESHIP by Deitrich Bonhoeffer, Holocaust Survivor, and VICTOR thru JESUS. AMAZING AND SAVING! LOOK OUTSIDE YOURSELF TO THE GOD WHO MADE YOU, WHO GAVE YOU PURPOSE, TO FIND THAT PURPOSE, AND BE FREE, WITH HIS PEACE TO ENDURE ALL THINGS.
Awesome ~ Always so informative ~ We must get to the core blockage in our body, acknowledge it, release it and resolve the associated Trauma. Have now learned to stop being around hostile and verbally abusive souls at work at home etc. "Blood is not thicker than Water"... John Bradshaw shared that "Families" many times are the last place for support especially if there is Shame, Guilt and I add Clandestine attitudes where there is non-inclusiveness...
totally feeling this after 5 years of dedicated learning seeking none stop everyday to get help..
I love it how Melanie is wearing winter clothes while here in Europe we are getting fried to a crisp. Long awaited video, because my resolve has been weakening lately bc of narc acting nice. TY😍
Feeling feels like a dynamic energetic realm. Thinking is like a function.
Yes. Like for the first time being able to see life force in your minds eye.
Therapy facing the pain of what was done to us
He told me he fantasized about other women sexually because he didn't like me or want me. Then says "I'm sorry you pushed me away" I can't stop having nightmares and anxiety. It's been months. It doesn't feel easy at all. I struggle and can't wait to feel better.
The exercise of feeling inward go's along with healing crystals. I can feel trauma sites that haven't been cleared yet. These are very bad trauma's and people are still connected to these sites. As they too were traumatized by the event. ☺️
I don’t even know what happy is😳. My brutal abuse started at 3 years old and I’m now 57. Wasn’t allowed and never saw happiness unless it was shown in sadistic abuse by narcissist stepfather then sadistic covert ex husband, if that was happiness I want NONE of hurting others. Need to understand what happiness even is.....
I don't know what happiness is, either. I have to put on a brave face all the time. Sometimes laughter can help but it's not a "true" laughter. I have compartmentalize everything that has happened to me because that is the only way I can survive.
Onion Face I have given my life to the Lord 40 years ago. I stayed in th 38 year relationship because marriage is a covenant made with God. He used Ephesians to control me, saying “I must submit “ to the physical,emotional, and sexual abuse and then I must forgive him for it. I did until 2 internal bleedings and then a heart attack. I then escaped. He is demonic and used Christ to do it. Blasphemy of the spirit has sealed his fate, just wish he would leave me alone, but he feels he still owns me though he’s had many other women before and after marriage ended.
what a beautyful person you are, ive gone thru something very similiar like you and at the time after my psychosis and the break up with my ex bf i was holding my phone in my hand listening to you like my life depending on it. bless you
Marina, goodness sweetheart, I'm so pleased if I could help and support you in any way. Love and blessings xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans
this video helped me more than any video ever has. thank you
Thank you!
Once again thank you Melanie. I really love that you keep driving this point home over and over. The time has truly come on earth for a lot of us to heal and evolve. Some of us has to get it right and heal in this lifetime, and I feel that i am one of those people. I try my best to start everyday with one of your modules from your NARP and end it with a guided healing meditation, and I am feeling a big difference.
This is a little off topic but you really remind me of Debbie Ford. May her soul rest in peace. She was the first person I heard spoke about the shadow self, and she spoke with the same urgency and passion as you do about awakening humanity. I never met her but I was also really drawn to her spiritually.
Kay you are very welcome. Thank you for your beautiful words, and for your commitiment to self to be a true spiritual warrior. I have the deepst respect for Debbie Ford, God rest her soul, and I take that as a lovley compliment. Thank you xoxox
. It certainly is a compliment. Happy to know that you knew about her. Lots of love. 🤗🤗🤗
thank you this is helping not feel like a victim xxx
thank you for this SO much! very informative and helpful
2:22 haha ... confused if i should keep watching the video haha
ty for your videos!! and your encouraging en hopeful words. helps me very often!!
Thank you so much for the continuing emails that come through - For some reason cannot click on the "like" button, will keep trying.
After 3 years of talk therapy with a good qualified doctor - and fully realizing the narcissistic abuse of an adoptive parent was more my problem than my being "a bad person" as I was characterized for many years (despite having friends and instinct tell me otherwise) - am now poised on a decision to go onto medication - which has been encouraged during the course of the therapy.
This simple exercise of Melanie's reinforces the notion that psychotropic mood altering medication is not needed. I had used Prozac for over a decade, prior to current talk therapy, without any other therapy at that time.
It might have been better to have talk therapy during the use of the medication - but the medication did help me function, and eased depression; until its efficacy petered out after that number of years of use.
Now I do not want medication or talk therapy - which seems to retraumatize me each week. This is what is making me "stuck".
Even this simple session reminds me - because have done some of the guided sessions with Melanie previously - and am cautious with such things and take time to assess - however, even this simple yet powerful session reminds me that getting in touch viscerally with the trauma and self-partnering to end it through self love and reaffirmation of a better and happier time ahead - is more effective and to Melanie's point - more towards HEALING than UNDERSTANDING the problem of the trauma.
Essentially the talk therapy helped me to understand. However - to heal - something different - something like this - is more to the point.
Thank you again - over and again.
Oh goodness sweetheart, I'm so honoured to be able to help you! And I so agree, when we do the work inside our bodies it is a game-changer! Love and blessings xoxox
Amazing advice ,your correct Melanie , because the more I think about this abuse the more my stomach hurts and it seems like problems only continue ,now I will try breathing techniques and think positiv
Claus, I'd love to invite you to join me in my free healing webinar so I can explain another powerful way for you to heal so you won't have to manage your pain, when we do the 'inner' work inside our bodies we can release the painful feelings and replace them so we no longer have to simply 'manage'. I promise! melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
Really i think we are stronger than they are. Repitition compulsion.
Hi Mel, I just have some technical feedback regarding the 'new' editing style. I have been a long time fan of your work and have watched a great many your very interesting and informative videos. I do some work in film and editing. In my subjective opinion (combined with my experience in this area) the new editing style is Not working well. I mean this to be helpful feedback but the constant switching from Wide-Shot to Close Up ... and back again, every few seconds is Very distracting! (I feel a bit sea-sick). I would use only about half of these editing cuts .. at most.. but probably much less ..
Also, if this is recorded on a DSLR Camera .. I recommend that the Shutter Speed is set to 50 ( ie to about twice the frame rate - frames per seconds. This matches what the human eye sees with regard to processing any movement of the subject they are looking at. I could be incorrect here, but it seems that the Shutter Speed is set to higher ... which removes normal motion blur as the eye normally sees it.
The content of this video is great as always. I hope that this feedback proves to be of some use.
With regard to editing ...it's subjective ... but I feel that for a presentation like this .. less is more.
Kind Regards, DK
Thank you DK for your feedback - we are very gratfu for it as we are learning as we go. Much love to you Mel xoxo
Amen it has been a real up and down ride
Excellent. Made a real difference in real time. Thanks again Melanie!
Brilliant and powerful !!
Thank you Melanie for this video full of authenticity - you help a lot 🙏❤
Hi Emma, you are very welcome and I'm so pleased that I could help xoxo
How do I do self healing and going inside?? These are buzzwords that are mentioned so often on so many videos without actually giving me practical know how to be able to do it. Please help. Feeling frustrated.
I keep trying to change my thoughts, but they keep going back to him.
PTST from 3 relationships with narcissist men and several others in my family.
My daughters father is narcissist and somehow my eldest daughter even though I got away from him when she was 4 years old, she is a lot like him. She's very angry and can verbally abusive. She treated her husband terrible and he was a good man. He died suddenly last year and she now regrets how she treated him.
I feel like this last one, even though I broke it off, I feel like he's still got a grip on me. I just need him out of my head.
@It’s me I highly recommend guided meditations and affirmations for self love and healing. There are plenty in UA-cam so surely you can find some that will resonate with you. Also inner child healing ones. It is a first babystep into changing the thoughts. Also give yourself time, because your mind has operated from so long in trauma level that it will need plenty of the new loving ideas in order to get its breakthrough. But don’t give up. Keep at it. You are worth it.
I speak from experience, I was like you, and am still today changing my mindset and focusing on self love instead of on the abuse that happened to me. 😘
I really want to know how to balance learning about narcissism to validate the experience of those that I am trying to help and also validating the things that I have seen that piss me off about narcissistic types of people.
Charisma, in my experience leading by example with you own healing and empowerment from N's is the best gift that you can grant anyone. Its also the most effective way to help bring them out of the darkness and back to their light xoxo
Melanie, the free workshop link to the “3 Keys to Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse” never popped up in the corner for me- Could you comment here with the link for me please?? 🙏🏼 💚
Btw, THIS WAS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT VIDEO I’VE EVER SEEN REGARDING *HOW TO ACTUALLY HEAL* from Narcissistic Abuse!!!! Thank you-from the bottom of my heart!!! ❤️🌱🌟🌷
I'm so glad this video was a breakthrough for you!! You can access my free workshop here: melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
Melanie Tonia Evans Thank you! 🥰
SAME. I’ve logged at least 5,000 hours on YT at this point. This is the best, hands down.
How can I protect my kids from their narcissistic father?? I know that I can personally heal from the abuse but now I feel guilty and afraid for my kids futures 😔. He is a very covert narcissist.
Jessica, I know how painful this can be and my heart goes out to you dear lady. If you google my name plus children you will find my resources. All of them will also link to this free 16 Day course as well and here is that link for you: melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you so much I have been feeling so many of the things that you talk about including that I could see the sickly and broken inner child under his fake self. And Im not angry at him anymore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I have no energy to give him. I'm so relieved to not be angry anymore. Thank you!
Love you and your work Mel ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Melanie. Thank you! You give hope to many people, all your videos are helping me thru heartbreak. You have been a friend I needed these last 5 months. I've learned so much. I appreciated the free Workshop and I review the information over and over. I still have very bad days struggling with my mind and heart. What would you suggest as a next step? (I have relapsed many times and seem to start over with the pain, days crying, days lost, pushing ppl away, hiding from ppl/friends/family, no drive to do things I once loved) I was told to just get over it. I started to try to tell my mind I don't want or deserve this pain or person in my life.
Hi CG, aww I'm so delighted that you got so much out of the free healing webinar! That's so gorgeous. Honestly hun, I cannot encourage you enough to take the quantum leap and go for NARP so you can start powerfully healing and move into your Thriver life like so many others have. You can learn more about it and options here if this is resonating for you! www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp Love to you! xoxox
Thank you, I delete my comment....You are right...💓❤️
i wanted to achieve great things in life , i was smart ,intituive , but have to face hidden enmis who had differnt plans for me,also bec my narc mothr nevet wanted me to b successful and bettr than her ,but did anything to better herself.
Great video👍
Thank you
You are welcome hun. Love and blessings xoxox
Melanie where can I learn the 3 fundamental keys for healing?
Sweetheart please come into my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar I'd love that for you. You might like to sign up for my free 16 Day Recovery course www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse too to receive daily emails to help you. Love to you xoxox
Hi Mel .....adressing the feelings rather than the thoughts totally resonates with me. Is there any scientific evidence or theory behind this type of healing? I would love to research further and maybe incorporate it into my counselling skills. Love your passion for healing at core xx
Oh gosh yeah Helen hun there's so much out there if you know where to look. Topics to search such as Epi science and epigenetic, but Dr.Joe Dispenza and Dr.Bruce Lipton are beautiful souls with lots of information if you Google them as s start! Love and blessings xoxox
How long did it take you to get where you are now?
Perhaps I can help. I am at a good peaceful place most days, and it's been almost a year.
It can depend on former abuse and past trauma's. Also if you're still dealing with toxic people on a daily basis, that can also be a detriment. However since you have the desire to heal and move forward you can get better. 😄
@Onion Face Hold my beer....am putting on the same face and loving the reaction!
What are signs that we are disconnected from ourselves?
Thankyou God bless you ❤️🙏
I would love to meet you one day) you are something else.
EXCELLENT!! 💗💚💗💚
Do you get to do the healing process in the program with you Melanie in the videos or do you take yourself thru the process. I had a breakthrough in the free webinar as you guided us through but dont know how I could do that myself!!
Hi Laura, sweetheart, this is such a great question. I guide you through the process, but the actual healing modules are audio modules. The program also comes with videos and eBooks and meditations and, if you purchase at the Gold Level, the support of the NARP Member's Forum which is an invaluable aid in helping in the early stages of learning to use the tools and heal effectively. You can research more about it here sweetheart, and I'd love you to join us! melanietoniaevans.com/narp 🙂💖🙏🦋
So its by changing how i feel i change how i think ? And not working vice versa?
Yes! That is it sweetheart! Love and blessings xoxox
If you are truly healed does that mean that other situations won’t affect you like how they would in the beginning??
I feel like i did heal but then, my house i was renting got sold. I had to move fast. So i ended up getting a place with a roommate. Roommate turns out to be a alcoholic. He makes me feel so uncomfortable. Like my muscles get so tight around him.
I can’t turn inwards the trauma is
Blocking it
We cannot heal ourselves. Only God can heal us. Selfcare and selflove is important but that's not what heals us.
I feel like maybe my wife is changing maybe hopefully the narcissist is coming to an end but I feel like I'm always on edge like I'm doing something wrong still but it's only because I've been putting up with it for years
Wowwww
I feel all the traumas in my chest area only
am I doing something wrong ?
Michael, no hun- that's perfectly fine and it's wonderful that you are really feeling it. Always trust what your body gives you. Love and blessings xoxox
What is trauma
Do I forgive myself for allowing abuse to
Occur, or
Him or the situation, I’m going mad
I’m becoming a narcissist myself because
I’m terrified of being abused and put down. Sorry for spamming your UA-cam and Instagram
It’s impossible
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️😭😭😭😭😭💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
Decided to stop watching at 2:31 & unsubscribed.
Can you please elaborate a bit on why exactly you unsubscribed - what was it about the video up to that point that put you off? I've just watched the first 2 1/2 minutes over again, and can't figure out what might be 'wrong' with it, in your opinion. Cheers
The peptide addiction part?
@@beautifuldayzee5942 She said to stop talking about it, therefore thinking about it, and she said to stop learning about it. I don't see a better place to start taking that advice than unsubscribing here.
@@MissKatAttackOfficial that plus her saying stop talking about it, therefore thinking about it and learning more about it.
@@goodintentions1302 - OK. Interesting. I'm not sure if you're being serious or not..... but serious or not serious, either way would make some sense.
Thank you kindly Melanie. I'm giving it all I've got. You're such a blessing! ❣️🎚️🙏
Thank you