What a Woman Really Needs
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
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I worked with a guy years ago who had some real wisdom. He said when his wife wants to talk about something he says “ok but before we begin do you want me to just listen or do you want me to fix something?” He said it saved a lot of heartache.
"The greatest marriage is two servants in love."
As a woman, RESPECT is huge to us also and it ties into the security need. If we are disrespected, spoken to disrespectfully, spoken about to someone else disrespectfully, or if the man is acting selfishly and not considering us, we feel unstable and unloved. And disconnected. And unloved. Rightly so. Respect goes both ways. The husband may be the “head,” but the woman will not respond positively once a man starts cutting her down and disrespecting her…or showing that he cares more about his own world than yours.
-Woman want to be treated equal ( not dominated)
-None sexual intimacy
-Security
- Talked to in a patient, pleasant manner
- Want an initiator of the home and life
🥰 The greatest "marriage" are 2Servants-inLove!🙂
women are equal in christ but the headship of the home was put in the man by God.
So your saying she wants a father to provide but no intimacy.
Back in 11th grade I asked God for a friend and literally next day I met my new friend Ashley who I didn't know was in my class and actually sat next to me , and I simply said hello , and a few days later we actually had our first real interaction, she tapped on my shoulder asking if I can help her find waldo in where's waldo book and it was random and funny to me at the moment and I helped her , and after the weeks went by we became best friends, I would protect her in dodge ball in gym class, we'll talk about many things and meaningful things too , laugh and be goofy , I would buy her real food cuz regular cafeteria food is gross and she would always complement me and encourage me about stuff, and she would keep finding reasons to touch my bracelets and necklace I had on , and would get touchy feely and lean on my shoulder, and sometimes grab my hand and we'll run to lunch just for fun etc , and on the last day of school she hugged me and told me she loved me , but the hug was in a way where time felt it slowed down and we we're there for a while but actually just a few seconds , it was very strange and thought God deliberately slowed down time just for that moment, from that experience what jimmy Evans is very true
@@leeparcell6233 I didn’t hear that. The first thing they said is both spouses are there to serve each other as an act of love. If you aren’t up for that, there is no requirement or religious mandate to get married. In fact, scripture supports that for some it is better not to marry at all.
The number one need of any person is respect.
You say we have a 100% chance at success in marriage. This statement is so profound and I anchored on it to build my own marriage. So much bad updates on marriage out there it's an absolute blessing to hear you talk about it the way God intended for it to be. Thanks so much.
He would not talk to me for as long as 7 months at the time . I would not even remember why he wasn't talking to me . He would sleep in out marriage bed, he ate what I cooked but when he was in bed he would wrap himself in a blanket so there won't be any physical contact even by unintentionally. He would not want to get help . After 30 years and one month, I resigned from this mentally abusive union .
You did the right thing, love yourself,. Praise God 👍😘
I am happy you got out of that marriage.
I'm glad you got out , their are some people who are called dark empath , they are very "empathetic" but very dark about it and ate literally the most dangerous people alive more than narcissist, sociopathic and psychopath people , so watch out for these people and God bless
Good.
Wow! Surprised to see people so easily supporting divorce without more information. Every story has 2 sides. We don't know his side of the story or his past. To form judgement and approve divorce with only one side of the story is terrible. How do we know there was no chance at working things out? With God, all things are possible. Even healing and restoration.
Women definitely need affection and security and trust. Intimacy may mean a hug and holding her and may mean sexual intimacy also. Thank you for this teaching. But she needs attention and not silence.
Thank you for opening my heart so I can view my sweet husband in a way that I have never been tought our thought about. Blessings to you both!
Wow, Lynn! Thank you for tuning in and for sharing your heart! You are a blessing to us!
I serve my husband on the days he goes to work and I am off on the weekends or when he is.
He knows what the Bible says if I serve he has to meet all my needs literally and figuratively.(That has turned out to be a lot of fun) Knowing what role you are expected to do in the marriage makes everything much easier and it allows us to have more fun together. Less arguing & less stress
Trust me I had to think long and hard before I tried if we are taught from children against the natural order. The man in order to be served has to do way more in the relationship and the wife has to be on board .It really should be the female that initiates it and agrees to do it.
The times we do get in a little heated debate all I have to do to end it is to say “if you keep acting this way I am not going to serve you tomorrow …that means no breakfast. No Helping out just on my computer doing “Me World”
He really enjoys the peace and love it brings and it feels good doing it Gods way.
@@MT-kj2zvthe threat of no love tomorrow doesn't seem to meet the point of this discussion.
Jimmy thank you for teaching me about marriage and god!!
Jimmy evens is the reason I been saved I found Jesus at 28 I’m 30 now and I’m making marriage great again because of marriage today as the reason I’m leaving this comment and thanking jimmy evenes for teaching truth and I’m living proof and still need your tube
I love you
I love Jesus don’t miss the point Jesus is the point thanks 🙏
MGN. I love you more then y’all know of
I'm listening to these talks and I just feel heartbroken. Thats what my husband did with his affair partner, actually, affair partners. All three of them. He listens to women, but not really me. I don't know if any of me spending so much of my time learning all these things will cover the hurt in my heart.
My heart goes out to you. I believe that if you are doing this by faith that God will do the supernatural. God is awesome and He is faithful. I believe that you will be healed. You must know within your ❤️ that He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it! May God bless, heal, deliver you from all that was inflicted upon you!
God bless you
I'm so sorry. My fiance left me and has been seeing other women too. So disrespectful 😞 I pray for restoration!! 🩷🩵
Restoration? Do you have children together? If not, Ruuuuuuuun!
Love this snippet of this lesson, Thank you Jimmy and Karen
These teachings are of the truth and biblical. I need to add though they are heart breaking for the spouse who loves the Lord and walks in this and no change of the other. No surrender, no change just taking more and more. I would love to hear more teachings on believer/non believer. How to deal with the loneliness of not being one in Spirit. God is to be my husband as He is perfect and never fails. Just gets lonely
Thank you both for your ministry. Karen, I loved your book-“From pain to paradise.”
Why couldn't I have found this teaching 20 years ago
I love my husband and would do anything for him but I feel like the only time he wants to be with me is in the bed . And I don’t want to with hold so I’m listening to y’all and trying to do what I need to do regardless of what he is doing . Thanks for allowing God to use y’all and your marriage 😊
To my hurt I will meet your needs I come second I’m not the head of this home so I get it my way. I’m the head of this home so that I can serve you and make sure whatever you need you get it first before I get it you come before me. You’ll never have to nag never have to beg I’m studying you your in my heart tell me once and you’ll get it . And if I don’t agree I’ll tell you up front but if I tell you no it’s only because it’s not a good thing for you but I will sacrifice to meet your needs. So glad I heard this
What if the man gives all sorts of non-sexual touch (without any prompting) but NEVER sexual touch?
No one ever speaks to that scenario.
Have you tried Doug Weiss? He has some resources on UA-cam regarding what he calls “Intimacy Anorexia.”
Rancid Jane. I love your name.
@@jillnowhere7333 LOL. Thank you. I think your name is even more interesting than mine.
I'm Glad you mentioned God in a marriage!!! First time I've seen your content.. Thanks!!! I will be watching more of your video's. And Yes, I shared this with my husband. It's up to him if he watches it.. We've been together almost 20 years.
Walked into a little white church in East Amarillo in i think 1984 but it could be a year or two off. Changed my life. Thank you ❤️
I'm on a self transformation journey. So help me God
God richly bless you, Ps. Jimmy and Miss Karen. Your experiences are really helping shaping my view about marriage. I believe that with such wisdom nuggets from God through you, I truly have a 100% success chance with my marriage. Much love❤
HI JIMMY AND KAREN, I LOVE YOUR INFORMATION AND HAVE FOLLOWED YOU FOR YEARS NOW AND BOUGHT YOUR ON THE ROCKS ECT. I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF YOU MIGHT DISCUSS A BIT MORE ABOUT ACUALLY PUTTING EFFORT OR TIME ALONE WITH YOUR SPOUSE IS SO IMPORTANT TO A GOOD MARRIAGE. IV BEEN MARRIED NOW 15YRS TO A CAPTAIN OF TUGBOAT AND HE STAYS GONE 30 DAYS & HOME 14 THEN REPEATS. ITS VERRY HARD FINDING TIME FOR ME ONCE HES HOME. I CARE FOR HIS MOM SINCE SHE HAD A STROKE 14YRS AGO 24/7 AND LIVES IN OUR HOME. I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT A DATE IS. IV EXPRESSED MANY MANY TIMES NEEDING THE CONNECTION BUT SOMEHOW IM NOT DOING IT RIGHT AND THERES NEVER ENOUGH TIME . I LOVE MY HUSBAND WITH ALL MY HEART AND HES A WONDERFUL,GOOD MAN (MOST OF THE TIME ;-) ).... JUST WANTING YOU TO SPEAK A BIT MORE ABOUT BEING THERE EMOTIONALLY SHOWS YOU CARE SOMETIMES... THANK YOU FOR LISTENING AND GOD BLESS YALLS.
My advice personal advice also, never ever say, “if I were single, I would do…” (fill in the blank with whatever you’d do if you were still single) or when arguing, say the word “divorce” or “maybe we got married too soon,” etc. Those things shut a woman off. We now feel you have no commitment to the marriage, you only think of yourself, our safety, security, etc, is irrelevant, and we absolutely do not feel loved anymore. Redeeming things from that point will be very difficult.
I’m so thankful to be single now for almost 15 years. So much better than being in a toxic marriage, but I always pray for other’s marriages. Divorce is very painful and things really should not ever get to that point. Pains me to see so much hurt and destruction.
Outstanding job, Jack! As a deep analytical thinker I'm always intrigued with your thought process and how you connect the dots. Thanks for another great LNL. 🙌
Awesome teaching thank GOD FOR PASTOR EVANS THE LORD IS USING HIM TO HELPS SAVE MY MARRIAGE!
I feel like I've got the husband jack pot. He gives me non sexual touch everyday and loves talking to me, and I've felt safe with him since I met him. We just need more spiritual conversations. We have some, but I'd love for it to be more regular. Oh, and I never have to nag or beg my husband to do something for me. I had a baby earlier this month and I've never had to beg or nag him to cook or help with things I can't do while healing. ❤❤❤
I dont need to be led, i dont need to be secondary. I just need him to respect me as a hunan being.
I tried communicating with my spouse my aching need for romance. His constant response to me was “oh please!!!” That would be my cue to stop talking.
And are you still with him?
I’m in the process of no more…
Such a great teaching 🌸💕🌸💕
I’ll start working on that right now.!..
Interesting topic as I am still single. I wonder if the needs listed in this video apply to all women.
Yes I would say it applies to all women looking to be in a relationship. And if these aren’t her innermost needs, then she has a lot of emotional damage to make her feel different.
Yes, I would say it applies to most women. At least It applies to me and what means the most to me from my husband!
Don't assume anything. Get to know her.
When will you be near Dallas again? My husband and I really want/need to experience in person the opening of perspective y’all have afforded to us already via books, and videos. We need more.
There coming to Grapevine in February 2022 for XO Marriage Conference. You can get tickets on the XO Marriage website.
@@mamaat5682 Thank you. I will get on top of that first thing in the morning. I appreciate you!
4:7 Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. Song of Solomon
Thank you so much for your teachings…
Amen!
I really don't appreciate things like this will you take one sentence or two from somebody without knowing the full context for the situation and you're ready to start calling their spouse selfish, lazy, and rude. The first point about the wife who said that her husband resents when she asks to do stuff around the house, let me bring a scenario to you that is a legitimate thing that really happens. What if she is able to stay home while he work 60 to 70 hours a week to provide, comes home to a pigsty because she's found time for everything else but the home, he almost never says anything about it because he doesn't want to start a fight or make it sound like he's the ungrateful one, and when she gets up the nerve to ask why he is not cleaning the house on top of his work schedule, he gets a little irritated by the situation. You might try to coach him on how to be a better leader or communicator or you might even encourage him to pick up some of her slack anyway, but I really don't know. Calling him lazy and rude is the most effective way to encourage him to handle the situation. Just a thought.
So grateful for you both ❤
How can you get someone to go to counseling? She says she will never go. Sexless marriage for 5 years.
Suggestion- Look up Doug Weiss on UA-cam if you haven’t already. He has a lot to say about sexless marriages. (I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, that is a painful situation)
@@aneber1811 I do watch Doug Weiss very good.
Sorry, it's usually the other way around for that one .
I am sorry, by the way. The pain of working on your marriage alone is overwhelming. My husband has come around a bit- shown me I can still work with him in certain areas. I hope your wife comes around, too.
What if he refuses to do counseling?
Check out this video: ua-cam.com/video/YoDvLOHrY-Q/v-deo.html
Boy did I need to hear this!
Karen you are the luckiest woman , all I needed was husband to want to talk to me, but there was no romance and like Jimmy knows no romance his mind else where so I couldn't pull us together. I pray to god to end this marriage and let me meet a man who wants a marriage God's way as that's what I need and want
God can change any person, any marriage. Pray for yourself and for your husband to have a marriage filled with God’s love!
is it not better to ask God fr his opinion on your marriage?if he already told u then thts ok.
Thank you I will do anything to please my husband
This is all so true
Amen so true
You 2 are great THANK YOU
Incredible
I needed to hear this--thanks for sharing
So glad!
How can we get counseling like yours.
Right about the needs, but there are a whole lot of wants. How do you make you make a difference on that and tell your wife that is a want and not a need?
amen
Awesome word!!!!
This is good 😊
So good …
God, did not make man and woman equally for sure! Their needs are totally different in every way. First, you have to have chemistry, be best friends, enjoy each other in every way. Women, that have had no experience in intimacy, needs a man that knows what to do in that area, if not , and he does not bother to learn is a mess, big time.
Thank you so so much for sending this one
You are so welcome!
SY that so true
I'd challenge this help with the housework notion. Women don't respect a dude that helps. They tend to want to do things their way and resent the guy for invading their territory.
If she is resenting you for helping... the resentment is coming from a root of bitterness for something else entirely. Not always true, some are just very controlling that way. If she says she needs help and then resents you for helping... there are bigger issues. I love when my husband helps when he sees I need it, I don't need to ask. Most women resent having to ask a man to help.
Can you please upload again since it skipped around past 14 minutes? Thank you.
I have so many questions
Beautiful!!
Thank you! 😊
Wow
Blessings to all of you,.I would like to get your information on marriage counseling I live in Los Angeles, CA am praying for restoration in our lives please can you help me to get information and if is possible I would like to have an appointment with marriage counseling I pray that you can help me am been marriage for 31yrs I need help I appreciate your help thank you for your teaching blessings.
So funny
Women need is affection and emotions not just sex , sex is not women need , ya they like it but they don't need it ,and man need sex physically, that's his need for function, that's why men gave women love , affection, care , protection and main important emotional support and connection and then women gave sex that's the beauty of nature and women need emotional connection and relaxed environment for sexual arousal so that men gave affection that women need to ready and aroused for sex , and when this beauty give and take happen between two people who love each other gave beautiful experience to that thing and marriage is beautiful constitution where husband and wife did that beautiful business with intense love ,then that is where your relationship become best part of your life and sex become best for both of us , thanks ☺️☺️👍👍
Sigh, he knows what his own wife needs. My husband knows what I need. How can this guy possibly know '...what A woman needs...?' Are we all the same? Grrr...
Right. The church is still romanticising marriage, child bearing and other stuff.
Grew up