What a Man Really Needs | The MarriageToday Podcast | Jimmy and Karen Evans

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  • Опубліковано 26 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 117

  • @alanamakaya5752
    @alanamakaya5752 2 роки тому +26

    Wow. I needed this. "Let your husband fail" . .. . . what a concept. Always thought a wife was supposed to do the exact opposite. . . Thanks Pastor Jimmy.

  • @gratitude5740
    @gratitude5740 3 роки тому +18

    -Honour and respect.
    ( let him fail not constantly correct him )
    -confront him is ok ; it's how you say not what you say.
    - sexual touch
    - be his buddy and a best friend
    - support at home .

  • @larrydillard4126
    @larrydillard4126 3 роки тому +27

    I really hope wives are listening and husband's,nothing but the truth spoken 👏🏾 🙏🏾

    • @hundzukani
      @hundzukani 2 роки тому +1

      We are watching and learning to be better wives 😊

    • @hundzukani
      @hundzukani 2 роки тому

      We are watching and learning to be better wives 😊

    • @laurimcalister1279
      @laurimcalister1279 2 роки тому

      @@hundzukani pop] q

  • @christirose2713
    @christirose2713 2 роки тому +5

    I discovered your videos today. All I can say is thanks to God for directing me to you and thanks to you for speaking what we all need to hear!

    • @XOMarriage
      @XOMarriage  2 роки тому +2

      Thank you so much, Christi!

  • @kez4257
    @kez4257 6 місяців тому

    Absolutely love these guys, Jimmy and his wife are a beautiful and transparent example of our Heavenly Father’s grace! Thank you both for the seeds you sow for a healthy and Godly marriage. Life changing, much love and blessings 🙏🏽✨

  • @stephaniesilva5447
    @stephaniesilva5447 2 роки тому +13

    God to me to change my perspective on sex. He said, remember when your husband wants you sexually it's his way of telling you he loves you. This changed my heart and healed some wounds caused from past abuse.

  • @lisacottrell3773
    @lisacottrell3773 3 роки тому +28

    My husband was very disrespectful.. Never kind.
    Very difficult to offer him sweet words of kindness and gentleness. I tried so many times for so many years... 38 years married. Going through divorce now. I was dying inside which in turn turned into physical health issues.. Chronic health issues. So so sad. 🙏🙏🙏

    • @dwhetsel695
      @dwhetsel695 3 роки тому +15

      I’m so sorry. Listening to Jimmy and Karen, and applying their principles, turned our marriage around. It’s better than it ever was, and I thought we were in love back then. We both got into very bad habits- sarcasm is definitely a tool of the enemy. Continue praying for your husband; it isn’t too late. Praying for you, your health, and the resurrection of your marriage.

    • @karentillma7293
      @karentillma7293 3 роки тому +7

      Yes, same here! They said talk to him and respect your husband the way you would Jesus. I know that Jesus would never speak to me the way my husband does. He also swears at our 26 year old son who farms with him. He is constantly bitter and the words from his mouth are like venom. We have been married over 32 years and I think of leaving him daily.

    • @brightpage1020
      @brightpage1020 3 роки тому +10

      To: Karen Tillma -
      Why haven’t you?
      Perhaps facing a consequence like that might inform him effectively what is or is not acceptable to you?
      Are you doing God a favor by pretending an unacceptable situation is ok with you? Is that honest?
      If telling him isn’t working, could he need clearer, firmer boundaries enforced?
      Are you being honest? With God, your husband, or yourself?
      Or are you pretending you’re willing to cope with unacceptable behavior on the outside when the reality of your inside doesn’t agree? To keep the peace or save face? It doesn't keep the peace - your inner peace is disturbed enough to vent in comment sections to strangers. Complaining to us can't help effectively but make your more bitter by getting it off your chest for a few hours - until he does it again.
      Would taking action for you that illustrates the fact that you don’t abide certain behavior be a clearer indication of what’s on your heart to your husband? Could that be a gift to him?
      Why haven’t you?
      It’s not as brave to post and vent your very understandable anger as it would be to turn your life upside down to support your truth, or at least put your foot down with the one it should matter most to. Right?

    • @karentillma7293
      @karentillma7293 3 роки тому +2

      @@brightpage1020 you are the first person to call me on my feelings. I can’t decide if I’m angry at you or myself. The original poster gets prayers and I get a kick in the gut (or butt?) Thanks for your response. Since it’s posted here, I’m going to assume it’s given out of love.

    • @blownaway4371
      @blownaway4371 3 роки тому +1

      Sounds like YOU we're trying to "change" him for almost 40yrs! Why did you say "I DO"? Money? Security? Looks? Your mother "stressing" you?
      How old were you?
      Did your dad/mom teach you what to look for in a HUSBAND? Did you listen?
      There's a hierarchy of God that women are tempted/deceived to alter/change. Jesus, Man, Woman, first born male, female daughter..
      All through God's word it's shown! If YOU'RE "offended" by that, YOU have the problem! How many wars would Israel have won if Women we're the warriors?
      I wonder how many women are going to "try" to change God's heaven to suit themselves?
      YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SUBMISSION!
      It's a Jesabell spirit!
      Do you let/support your children to rule your house and tell you what to do?
      I'm sure women demand that their husbands "submit" to their bosses, so they can have THAT house, in THAT neighborhood. But yet YOU don't want to submit to your husband..
      That's why Satan went after Eve. The weaker of the two.. (Divide and conquer!!) Learn your place and be happy doing it.
      Men build the house and women make it a home, according to the rule of the husband! You WILL FAIL if you have two trying to rule the house! "Submit one to another" means to use the "strengths" of both husband and wife to BUILD the ultimate goal, the "family".
      I tell my two boys that if the woman they want to marry wants to pursue "HER CAREER" that's outside of your wants. That you're starting off ALREADY DIVIDED. And if the male can't support a family, he shouldn't even THINK ABOUT IT!!

  • @seashell1037
    @seashell1037 3 роки тому +14

    What if u HAVE given him honor & respect & sex … & he ignores every need I’ve ever needed with the exception of providing financially. And I’ve praised him, supported him, encouraged him, upheld him -
    With all my heart I did everything in my power to honor God & my husband

    • @dustyb7677
      @dustyb7677 3 роки тому

      Have you told him what you need from him, actually asked?

    • @cheryl71000
      @cheryl71000 3 роки тому

      Honestly you need to seek help from marriage guidance counselor, if he is unwilling to go. Why? Doesn't he want a better marriage, it takes two , you both need to make the marriage work. I am now divorced my ex would not go to see a counsellor or priest for guidance, eight years later I found out he was having an affair and had a seven year old child to her. I divorced him, it was mental and emotional torture for eight years. He did not care. Ask him to go to seek help with you, if not, how you going to work it out you can't. Your decision , take care x

    • @chrisharris2367
      @chrisharris2367 2 роки тому +5

      Have you used boundaries?
      Being too nice without boundaries allows someone to disrespect you.
      I understand; I'm a nice sweet woman too and learning how to enforce boundaries.

  • @MrRedrum3000
    @MrRedrum3000 3 роки тому +9

    Great content Thank you Mr and Mrs Evans

  • @simonehaggland1732
    @simonehaggland1732 3 роки тому +11

    This is soooo good & insightful & the presentation is hilarious. Excellent, love it💗💗💗

  • @lisacarter1371
    @lisacarter1371 2 роки тому +1

    Of course she's listening!

  • @mcdowell1953
    @mcdowell1953 2 роки тому

    I am a Christian granny and wife of 50 years and I love you 2. Sesame Street is 50 some years old and my kids watched always. There 2 muppets. One had long arms to reach the top of the apple tree and one had short arms. So they fed each other. Love it. Lol

  • @karrihaslam
    @karrihaslam Рік тому

    So excited to have your teachings, we use to be members and so sad but understood when the baton was passed to another but it didn't have the same effect and so when this showed up in my email I was so excited or UA-cam subscription you have such a greater impact on us we are in our late '50s early '60s and it just seems to resonate better with us than a couple that's in there 20s 30s 40s very excited to see you again and it's great to have Karen's input just love it! God bless you both! ❤

  • @softminds
    @softminds 3 роки тому +5

    Am totally feeling this topic especially the openning remarks

    • @Vanilla-w1k
      @Vanilla-w1k 2 місяці тому

      It’s nice to know what men think.

  • @rio4drums
    @rio4drums 3 роки тому +1

    Beautiful brother 🕊🤗🕊
    Two weeks ago I've started listening to your channel on the End Times and it's a big blessing ☺🙏🏼

  • @libertychouinard1197
    @libertychouinard1197 2 роки тому +1

    This was an amazing message. It has opened my eyes on the things that do and do not strengthen my marriage. Thank you!

  • @michellethomas2922
    @michellethomas2922 Рік тому

    The message was so good. Nuggets for a successful happy marriage. 🙌🏽

  • @phoebehindanmpama
    @phoebehindanmpama Рік тому

    It's always a blessing listening to you.

  • @kimberlysullivan5319
    @kimberlysullivan5319 3 роки тому +6

    I wish my husband would watch these.

    • @365Yeshua
      @365Yeshua 2 місяці тому

      I turned them on in the car on our 45 min drive to church yesterday! He didn’t turn them off, but my typical grandma driving husband turned into Mario Andretti and we were almost in an accident😂…..

  • @Rancid-Jane
    @Rancid-Jane 3 роки тому +7

    What if a man gives all manner of kind and thoughtful non-sexual touch but never provides any sexual touching? That has been my experience. Don't women need sexual touching too?

  • @marybasinger8026
    @marybasinger8026 Рік тому

    Awesome information

  • @olgavanloggerenberg8671
    @olgavanloggerenberg8671 2 роки тому +1

    Aaahhh no!!! Where is the woman's needs part??? So so so need this for my daughter's marriage crisis

    • @XOMarriage
      @XOMarriage  2 роки тому +1

      Here you go: ua-cam.com/video/jk_UbSJQg3o/v-deo.html 😄

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому

      He speaks about womens' needs in another video.

  • @GJFJRJRNHF
    @GJFJRJRNHF 3 роки тому +2

    Lots of truth

  • @robynpearce5433
    @robynpearce5433 4 місяці тому

    I feel rejected and neglected by my husband. It feels as if he has never put our marriage first. His daughter always came first and then he left for a year to go work elsewhere when he had other choices. It has been an incredible hard year for me to find three jobs to keep my income despite a disability and now his work has ended he is ready to move back in with me into my tiny apartment and I am not sure I want to share my space and my bed with him anymore. And I am tired of his anger outbursts which I have spoken to him about and he never tries to find help for this 😢 how to show respect to someone who you have only anger and not respect for.

  • @vanessarenae5169
    @vanessarenae5169 2 роки тому +5

    How do I show respect for my husband after multiple affairs, porn, and illicit photos? Spending time with other friends without me, and not asking me about finances? I think he needs to earn my respect, and even sex now after what he's done.

    • @rozannmartin7235
      @rozannmartin7235 2 роки тому +8

      Guard your heart, because he isn’t.

    • @XOMarriage
      @XOMarriage  2 роки тому +1

      Hey there, Vanessa! Please feel free to visit our website at xomarriage.com and to select "Marriage Help" for many amazing resources! We will try to help however we can.

    • @MsBellsandy
      @MsBellsandy 2 роки тому +7

      Sexual immorality is one of the only reasons where divorce is acceptable. Research setting boundaries, narcissism and codependency. Get into counseling.

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому +4

      I'd take a trial separation. This is sin and not acceptable to the Lord.

    • @A-A-RonDavis2470
      @A-A-RonDavis2470 Рік тому +3

      That's a one-way ticket to divorce.

  • @williammcarthur8708
    @williammcarthur8708 3 роки тому

    THANKS JIMMY AND KAREN!!

  • @keyofdavid.
    @keyofdavid. 2 роки тому

    Love them. Very good😇❤

  • @CM-wb2ed
    @CM-wb2ed Рік тому

    So good......

  • @ginaroberts3346
    @ginaroberts3346 3 роки тому +9

    How do u show respect to him without becoming a doormat?

    • @daylightsavior6745
      @daylightsavior6745 3 роки тому +5

      easy by treating him like you would wanna be treated

    • @ginaroberts3346
      @ginaroberts3346 3 роки тому +2

      that doesn't work bcuz the person is mean and rude. Won't get back same treatment. It seems I would become the doormat if I do all the right things while he gets away with treating spouse badly.

    • @daylightsavior6745
      @daylightsavior6745 3 роки тому +6

      @@ginaroberts3346 kindiness is like water to fire, that why you must not always feed it, lets it burns you.

    • @terichastain4179
      @terichastain4179 2 роки тому

      I just watched this & saw your question. Thought I should ask how it has been these 9 mos since you commented, instead of offering my opinion. Hugs!🤍

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому

      @@ginaroberts3346 Take a trial separation.

  • @jaretnelson
    @jaretnelson Рік тому

    So good

  • @miriammarcial3047
    @miriammarcial3047 2 роки тому +3

    What about men who want what they can't give?

  • @vanessarenae5169
    @vanessarenae5169 2 роки тому +2

    He went found another woman to be his best friend for the whole summer. It hurts so much that even though I want that, I hold myself back. I don't know what to do

    • @XOMarriage
      @XOMarriage  2 роки тому +1

      Vanessa, we are so sorry to hear of the pain you are facing. Please feel free to visit xomarriage.com and the "Marriage Help" tab. If you have questions, please feel free to send them to info@xomarriage.com. We want to help however we can!

  • @kimberlysullivan5319
    @kimberlysullivan5319 3 роки тому +1

    My husband always compares me with other women.

    • @b.eunice
      @b.eunice 3 роки тому +2

      Hey, I'm sorry this is so heartbreaking when we are compare to other people. But here is what I will say: watch these videos with him and pray for him. Invite God to be part of your marriage and let Him take control of it by praying and surrendering your marriage to God. As Jimmy Evans often says, no one knows how to "do Marriage" but we are all able to be loving and carrying spouses when we invite God and let Him be the third person in our marriages. I am not married or dating but my friend and I have been watching Mr. Evans' videos since summer just to learn how to be good wives to our future husbands. Though we haven't met our husbands yet, we continue to pray for them and pray that they will be godly men of God. We also pray that when we start our unions with our husbands God will be part of it as well. Prayer is so important and reading the word of God. I hope this advice will help somehow :)

    • @kimberlysullivan5319
      @kimberlysullivan5319 3 роки тому +1

      @@b.eunice he won't watch with me. I do pray for him. Im between a rock and a hard place. And I really feel like giving up. I feel worthless.

    • @b.eunice
      @b.eunice 3 роки тому +2

      @@kimberlysullivan5319 aww please don't feel worthless, we might be worthless to humans but not to our Creator. To Him, we are worthy of everything. Keep praying and seek counseling (Christian counseling) study the word of God and have faith in Him that he will change your husband to a godly man. I will pray for you too!

    • @pnd4837
      @pnd4837 2 роки тому +1

      @@kimberlysullivan5319 never give up God doesn’t give up on us. It took me 14 years till I got Jesus in my heart and it felt like I had a new wife that day 🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому

      @@kimberlysullivan5319 He probably does it to get a reaction. To push your buttons. I'd get away for a while. Take a break to seek God about it. It's not a deal breaker, though. If it were me, I could care less about it, but I'm very confident. Nevertheless, it's wrong so take a break! Visit friends or something.

  • @jvo3777
    @jvo3777 Рік тому

    Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." -John 14:6

  • @camilegend
    @camilegend 2 роки тому +4

    why isn’t there any teaching on toxic relationship, emotional abuse?
    these teachings only work if both partners understand who they are in Christ and are willing to do the work in themselves first and then the marriage.

    • @bjornmaxson8268
      @bjornmaxson8268 2 роки тому

      Hello there...

    • @maccgospel9408
      @maccgospel9408 2 роки тому +1

      That’s the point if your in one of those you both needa work on yourselves together find yourselves in Christ it’s possible only through God, if not needa go read 1 Corinthians 7 on the boundaries and rules of marriage

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому +1

      He's spoken alot about abusing his wife. He changed though.

  • @averyflowers8819
    @averyflowers8819 2 роки тому

    ❤️

  • @miriammarcial3047
    @miriammarcial3047 2 роки тому +15

    I think its totally wrong for a man to be jealous of his own kids.

    • @laurenturk151
      @laurenturk151 Рік тому +6

      He’s not “jealous” of his kids. He is a functional balanced person who realizes his wife’s priorities are out of balance.

    • @kelzreallife8293
      @kelzreallife8293 Рік тому +4

      @@laurenturk151 thank you.

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому +3

      It does happen. They should both make time for a date. Prioritize the marriage.

    • @annabanzon313
      @annabanzon313 3 місяці тому

      Some men want to be worshipped so there are both extremes.
      Envy should just not be tolerated in any relationship.

  • @nehagupta1166
    @nehagupta1166 7 місяців тому

    Obviously first if ur spouse is not ur best friend then ur children cannot compensate for ur spouse. Children r not a compensation for the spouse's love and friendship, children have their own separate place in parent's heart. Don't use children to enforce ur spouse to love u or be with u, they r not born for this purpose, they r born so that they can be given a good life.

  • @charleshunter1180
    @charleshunter1180 Рік тому +1

    I love pastor jimmy and Karen. But I know that I will never get married. I'm av69 year OKs man, never wanted a marriage and still don't. As a devout christian I've separated myself unto to christ as a young man. Have there been temptations of course. Have I given in no. Marriage just doesn't have any attraction for me and never has . I think I probably would drive Jimmy' crazy. But the simple truth is I have no interest at all. I prefer solitude and quiet I'm an introvert and don't relate .

  • @stephaniegrieser1020
    @stephaniegrieser1020 Рік тому

    How do you respect when they've been neglectful, distespectful, dismissive, and then broke your trust..I totally trusted him and believed in him. I've lost both. How do I respect him now?

    • @eddyjlatin22
      @eddyjlatin22 Рік тому +2

      Pray that God will give you the strength to truly forgive when you were wronged. Love your husband and put God first. Pray that God will surround your husband with the holy spirit and change his heart. Hope that helps.

  • @deannagermany3146
    @deannagermany3146 Рік тому

    What about for the wives out there that want sex more than their husbands??

  • @heywuzzzupwithya
    @heywuzzzupwithya 3 роки тому +1

    What happens when the husband just wants non sexual affection and the wife is the one who wants sex?

    • @Saved.by.Jesus.
      @Saved.by.Jesus. 2 роки тому

      Dress nice and look good. 👗 men are visual.

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому

      Is he into porn? On drugs? Something is remiss. Pray & fast on this.

    • @heywuzzzupwithya
      @heywuzzzupwithya Рік тому

      @@danilaroche1156 very low testosterone, hormonal imbalance. He is very fit and eats healthy, but has this problem. Doctors are unsure what to do because their treatments causes infertility which he doesn't want.

    • @A-A-RonDavis2470
      @A-A-RonDavis2470 Рік тому

      ​@@heywuzzzupwithyaTRT may need to be in order, but make sure that's the last resort. He may not need those "treatments". Make sure it's not a spirit of infirmity.

    • @karinteeples9715
      @karinteeples9715 Рік тому +2

      @@ElizabethV01NORTruth! Most of the time if a husband is not having sex very often or a decline from what was normal in the marriage, it’s due to Porn addiction. This problem is becoming an epidemic especially in the Church today! Many marriages are dying because of porn and how it neglects, and abuses the victim spouse. This is my journey in my marriage. I pray more marriages are restored and healed thru the power of Jesus. It’s our only hope for reconciliation.

  • @ThePossumone
    @ThePossumone 2 роки тому +1

    Interesting and frustrating that we are so different - no wonder there is divorce and people turning to same sex relationships - very concerning

  • @CRD-hi6vk
    @CRD-hi6vk 2 роки тому +1

    This video was titled “what a man needs” but all the needs actually cater to the woman.

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому

      You have to check out his other videos. He cares deeply for his wife.

    • @speakrighttogod
      @speakrighttogod Рік тому +1

      Hit replay. He listed all four needs.

  • @miriammarcial3047
    @miriammarcial3047 2 роки тому +1

    What about the man thats looking for a mother.

  • @christineescajeda3776
    @christineescajeda3776 2 роки тому +2

    Personal relationship with Jesus Christ
    Only God can
    Than we Love one another
    He needs Sex and Affection
    I want Affection and sex
    Serve one another we have what. It takes in order to have a good marriage
    Honor and respect
    husband the way one would treat Jesus
    Let God be the inforcer informer too
    Praise and thanksgiving
    Sex I except
    Thank you for not
    Comparing my body to any others body (important to me)

  • @SongoftheBride
    @SongoftheBride 12 днів тому

    Karen I hope that Jimmy treats you better than he did Doug Weiss's wife. Keep your eyes on Jesus and not on this duplicitous man who calls you his wife.

  • @lisacarter1371
    @lisacarter1371 2 роки тому +1

    Why would he ask her "Karen, are you listening?

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 Рік тому

      Why are you even asking this question?

    • @JohnDretired
      @JohnDretired 11 місяців тому

      ​@@danilaroche1156Some (most) women aren't happy unless they and everyone around them isn't happy.

  • @feliciapoku5157
    @feliciapoku5157 9 місяців тому

    Your Spouse cant be Jesus. That's very true

  • @canonen100
    @canonen100 3 роки тому +2

    Count the cost guys. Is it worth all of the work and expense just for a few minutes of marital missionary starfish sex? Not to mention the more than likely chance that you will lose your house and kids and a lot of money. I always hear how hard marriage is, but never any tangible benefits for the man, and the extreme risk involved. As for me I know it is not worth it.

    • @chrisharris2367
      @chrisharris2367 2 роки тому +3

      Sorry this happened to you
      Statistically women generally give more in marriage hence they age faster and get sicker in marriages
      Men's health and wealth are benefitted in marriage
      Sometimes women give so much they resent giving sex and feel used
      Sex in marriage is supposed to be mutually satisfying its about giving to each other
      Again sorry if this was your experience
      Blessings and prayers to you

    • @CRD-hi6vk
      @CRD-hi6vk 2 роки тому

      Thank you! I was thinking the EXACT same thing. I Couldn’t have said it better. I see zero benefits for the man. ZERO.

  • @ThePossumone
    @ThePossumone 2 роки тому +1

    We do not need to be married - we do need other people - we are interdependent on others. Many many great people did not have marriage ( Jesus Paul Mother Teresa to name 3 )

    • @lke4907
      @lke4907 2 роки тому +3

      Wrong. We are called to be married. We are the Bride to Christ Jesus!! We are being prepared to receive our bridegroom King Jesus, come!!!