This video is exactly what all recent Valefisk videos have been like. There's existential despair, at least one person trapped in limbo for several minutes, and people actually getting excited about the mere possibility of actual gameplay. It's wonderful
I mean I have ideas to make crypt much worse such as a set of ten QR codes that have been cut into four and randomly shuffled with each other so you have to take the ten into photoshop deconstruct the pieces and rebuild the original QR codes to get 10 key codes(4digit sequences) from ten QR codes except they aren't the actual codes just the keys to the codes following ten rules which are randomly placed to not be on top of there corosponding key pad
it's so funny to me that the crypt map was the most tactical and actually had gunplay and strategy even though it's literally just an imported map of a giant maze of hallways with no cover
yeah all it would need would be some visual landmarks for making navigation easier and to make the map look nicer, and maybe some slight pieces of cover in some of the more open corridors (like a fallen brick or something) and it could be legit
I gotta say, I love how 49:20 is just really chill, and then you hear the yell of "Teddys made it!" and everyone start getting excited, only for him to slip, and then a dozen people all simultaneously go "awwww" in disappointment through the voice chat
"I named this one *Spooked ya* so that they wouldn't guess what it was" And then somebody immediately goes "Oh hey is that crypt" as soon as Vale said the maps name.
Time to make crypt much much worse who wants to get lied to by a keypad as to what it's rule is with 10 of these keypads and 10 key codes that are scattered between 10 QR Codes that needs to be reassembled
Can I just express my unending love for that one classical track behind every torture video? I really think it adds to the insanity and pain of the who experience and I am all here for it.
Best part about War Thunder is it’s realistic vehicle design. And therefore you often get military secrets leaked on forums of real world soldiers trying to argue where the actual ammo box is on this new tank. It’s a lot of fun tbh. The forums I mean, the game is alright, lol.
Hey Vale, if you decide to make another Intruder map in the future, here are a few things I saw on Vent City that you might not have known. A: If you place a door too close to a wall and the roof is too thin (includes diagonals), then players can close the doors onto themselves to clip through the roof, which is possibly how MO got out. B: The Guard's Shrike Pistol can shoot through the Wooden Doors by default at very close range (assuming you are using SuperBossDoors). If you want to have pure chaos, the Advanced Material thing in the IntruderMM package can allow you to set penetration much higher (aka it will also work with SMGs, not just Shotguns, Snipers, and the Guard Pistol)
This reminds me of the Race Designed to Torture People video. In it you said the "First Annual Joe's Mongoose race..." Are you actually going to be doing that every year?
This video genuinely almost killed me because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. I want to become friends with Valefisk but at the same time I never in my life want to interact with Valefisk.
I wonder how angry Vale would get if for one of these videos a Masochist makes their way into the game, and Vale tries to upset them while they get more and more happy.
Valefisk vs Graystillplays. Valefisk makes a board in GTA and GSP aces it first try without hesitation, because he is so used to boards designed to make him question his sanity that this was like a teir 2 out of 5 kind of board.
the best parts of these were just people figuring out the meta strats that vale didn't think of, and basically just ruining the game for everyone else, somehow exactly as designed.
I don't really know much about Vale and his friend group, but I feel like half the time they pull through and play these things because they all can enjoy it together, otherwise they are just losing their minds lmao
UA-cam randomly started playing your videos out of nowhere, now I'm hooked and love the content. Love the vibes the environment gives off and the editing style.
Glad to see someone's familiar with the Campaign for North Africa. Couple other games which might have potential for the channel: Nomic (a game about politics and what I was hoping your democracy video was), and Magic Realm (the *second* most complex board game of all time).
This has a great balance of elaborate and inescapable digital torture, wacky memes™, and genuinely gripping down-to-the-wire competitive and tactical gameplay. It's that mixture which produces the real good stuff on this channel.
25:29 "It's a long way down, it's a long way down And nobody wants to join you And it's a lonely sound when you're on the ground But you can stop it if you want to" Nomy - Long way down
As I lay on my death bed, life slowly draining from my body, light leaving my eyes, vision glowing cloudy, I saw a figure walking closer. Through the death haze, it was hard to make out who it was. But then I heard his laugh. A laugh I would never forget. Valefisk. I reached out a pleading hand, desperate to grasp life from the brink of death. A quick motion. A sharp pain. He... He had kicked me. As I lay there, I heard one last sentence. "Yeah, that's unfortunate."
That Halo map I actually know of specifically as Castle Wars, where you must reach the enemy base to steal their flag; yes, a CTF version of that Morbius thing.
I found vale because I was browsing steam and I happened to see crypt, at first I thought I vale was just a indie developer. Little did I know that faithful day I found someone who belittles and tortures people. TLDR being broke on steam let me find this great channel.
I got into watching your content after watching the first Crypt video and then immediately realizing that you were probably going to be the funniest person I watch on this platform solely because you are a sadist and everyone you employ to test or do these videos with HAS to be a masochist
Ah yes, my three favorite words to see in Vales titles "I" "Made" and "Torture". Always leads to the inevitable suffering for everyone involved, including himself sometimes.
The only thing that would make the morbius map better was if there was ice physics on the bridge, and if objects spawned and fell from the sky with horizontal velocity to shove players around.
You have some seriously devoted friends. Also, the sudden Civ3 soundtrack at the end of the video sent me down a sudden nostalgia trip and I shall be suing for the emotions I was made to endure.
1 thing to say is that the crypt it could be interesting but it's so huge that all of the times that I played it we only killed ourselfs just to end the match and skip to another map. Believe me it's pure torture and fun (but not so fun) when you're in a server with the "random map at end of the match" enabled and the crypt is always chosen between 2 maps.
There are so many scenes in this video that wouldn’t be out of place in a brutal war movie if it weren’t for the hysterical laughter coming from everyone there! XD
When you consider that Valefisk Patrons participate in these videos, we conclude that they are, in fact, paying to have 'friends', which is a truly wretched state of affairs
Play War Thunder now with my link, and get a massive, free bonus pack including vehicles, boosters and more: playwt.link/valefisk
bungus
lets go new valefix video dropped
Pain game and pain man, a match made in Heaven
MORE PAIN!!
More people to leak classified intel too?
Helllll yeahhhhhhhh
This video is exactly what all recent Valefisk videos have been like. There's existential despair, at least one person trapped in limbo for several minutes, and people actually getting excited about the mere possibility of actual gameplay. It's wonderful
We’ve developed a Valefisk format. Now just time to set up an AI to mass produce hit videos
It is like my life
@@andrew6341 When AI takes over they are gonna kill you first for this endless torture
@@andrew6341 Implying Vale isn't an AI that's being trained on human suffering for the inevitable I Have No Mouth scenario.
Reminds me of that episode of spongebob. "FOOD... WATER... GAMEPLAY...." -Vale's Friends
It is fucking astonishing to me that the line tactics in the Crypt map actually worked.
Plus the fact that it worked because of the static smoke like you might see in a Napoleonic firing line.
It's a good sign for the upcoming city.
MAN, 100 METERS, FRONT!
I mean I have ideas to make crypt much worse such as a set of ten QR codes that have been cut into four and randomly shuffled with each other so you have to take the ten into photoshop deconstruct the pieces and rebuild the original QR codes to get 10 key codes(4digit sequences) from ten QR codes except they aren't the actual codes just the keys to the codes following ten rules which are randomly placed to not be on top of there corosponding key pad
@@sebay4654 calm down Satan
"Do you think putting 1,000 Bananas in everyone's inventory was a mistake?"
Yes it was. You should've put MORE in there
Should have put 42070, just to guarantee that everyone would place exactly 1 banana.
10k at least
@@theapexsurvivor9538 "sometimes my genius frightens me"
Imagine if kylo ren played banana tower, just: "MORE! MORE! MORE!" Cuts to "I've got 800 more bananas to throw at you"
it's so funny to me that the crypt map was the most tactical and actually had gunplay and strategy even though it's literally just an imported map of a giant maze of hallways with no cover
One of the side effects of making everyone so small is that they could take cover in places that properly-sized models couldn't, so hey.
@@RoyalFusilier gotta love rats maps
subterranean warfare
yeah all it would need would be some visual landmarks for making navigation easier and to make the map look nicer, and maybe some slight pieces of cover in some of the more open corridors (like a fallen brick or something) and it could be legit
You got oneshot PFP, you instantly gained my respect
The crouch maze full of bodies is the most claustrophobic thing I've ever experienced
I love that even when vale isn't trying to nake a map too torturous it somehow ends up more so in the end
A HEART I HAVE BEEN BLESSED
@@St3lla-MaR1s a gift from the lord
"'Spooked ya'... Is that Crypt?"
that soulread tho lmao
The slipping sound effect is fricking perfect in this game. It’s just so hilarious hearing it and then someone yelling as they fall off the map.
I now eagerly await "THE PAIN MUST NEVER END" Valefisk merch.
how did you comment 2 days early?
@@firesparx5552 I have sacrificed my left nut to Valefisk.
how tf
@@firesparx5552 Patreon
I'd buy a mug with that
I gotta say, I love how 49:20 is just really chill, and then you hear the yell of "Teddys made it!" and everyone start getting excited, only for him to slip, and then a dozen people all simultaneously go "awwww" in disappointment through the voice chat
I have infinite respect for whoever was making Arma callouts 40 mins in on the Crypt map that killed me
That was Candy, don't give him your respect, he doesn't want it
His Arma Callouts was practically soundboard levels of accuracy...
[MAN] 10 meters (front)
I get the feeling that vale is an intruder in his friends' minds
That might be what people call **Live free in their brain**
@@mixednarwhal You mean "Living rent free in their head?"
@@MsNotorials yes thank you
Nah, he's an alternate
“Friends”
56:01 oh my god, this is an excerpt from the rule book for the campaign to North Africa. Did they actually play a full 1000 hour campaign of it
One can dream…
uh yes i think it is the next video
@@gabenoblitt755 oh god please let it be such
My god...
@@zadamany9255⁰⁰
"I named this one *Spooked ya* so that they wouldn't guess what it was"
And then somebody immediately goes "Oh hey is that crypt" as soon as Vale said the maps name.
800 bananas are ready, with a million more well on the way
You know it's a good day to sit, relax and laugh over others' pain when Vale uploads a video!
Is Vale literally just making an audiobook about torture methods?
I’d totally listen to that.
Valefisk audiobook of the CIA enhanced interrogation handbook when?
Time to make crypt much much worse who wants to get lied to by a keypad as to what it's rule is with 10 of these keypads and 10 key codes that are scattered between 10 QR Codes that needs to be reassembled
its the rule book for The Campaign for North Africa
1500+ hours for estimated completion of one game.
@@Darthybuddy At some point during these videos, Vale will find MKUltra sleeper cell words
Can I just express my unending love for that one classical track behind every torture video? I really think it adds to the insanity and pain of the who experience and I am all here for it.
I did the wise decision of not joining banana tower
~30 minutes of my life I will never get back
Best part about War Thunder is it’s realistic vehicle design. And therefore you often get military secrets leaked on forums of real world soldiers trying to argue where the actual ammo box is on this new tank. It’s a lot of fun tbh. The forums I mean, the game is alright, lol.
bruh
7 fucking times it’s amazing
Vale: oh boy do I know how to use unity
Also vale: uses 6 cubes to make a room
Amazing
he never said he was good lol
Well, that reference to man in cave… that one didn’t age quite so well
Idk who it was, but someone in the firing line had an absolutely fuckin perfect arma ai callout voice
My favorite part of the video is still every time on the train map you just randomly hear *BONK* in the background
Okay that banana tower map is lowkey genius. It's not even torturous, it's a legit fun idea for a map.
The best part of this video was when Valefisk went "IT'S VALEFISKIN' TIME" and reminded all of those guys of a meme from last year.
at this point can we just call it a valefism
@@mihael64 valegasm
@@Nevernamed sperm vale
@@Nevernamed a new tag that is a surprise, but a welcome surprise.
@ouroboruo All memes die eventually. But mrobin' time has had some longevity! Maybe it'll be the post-zoomer generation's "over 9000".
Hey Vale, if you decide to make another Intruder map in the future, here are a few things I saw on Vent City that you might not have known.
A: If you place a door too close to a wall and the roof is too thin (includes diagonals), then players can close the doors onto themselves to clip through the roof, which is possibly how MO got out.
B: The Guard's Shrike Pistol can shoot through the Wooden Doors by default at very close range (assuming you are using SuperBossDoors). If you want to have pure chaos, the Advanced Material thing in the IntruderMM package can allow you to set penetration much higher (aka it will also work with SMGs, not just Shotguns, Snipers, and the Guard Pistol)
Correct, that's exactly how I broke out!
Non War Thunder players wouldn't get how well it fits the theme of your channel
Just waiting for one of Vale's new videos to include leaked classified military documents
@@Ghiaman1334 Would redacted docs from the torture board game count?
The grind my brother ✊
@@Ghiaman1334 it would be fitting
Almost halfway through the video, "Please let us play the fun maps". You know the video is gonna be way too short to truly enjoy the torture
god I LOVE the way the grenade at 40:10 explodes at the perfect time to censor the 'son of a-'
This reminds me of the Race Designed to Torture People video. In it you said the "First Annual Joe's Mongoose race..." Are you actually going to be doing that every year?
judging by the fact that vale is one of if not the most sadomasochistic person on youtube it's quite likely
Yes. My current PB is 42 minutes.
Fear runs deep in the hearts of men.
oh god
Surely you must be /joe/-king
@@Valefisk And it was never seen again....
Cellar phantom, your dedication is something else. You earned that shoutout
Purgatory is just Lynx tossing banana peels at you
The way he says “Hundred” sells the silliness of the situation
Imagine sleeping when you can watch this 7 times instead.
fr yeah ima do that
Bold of you to assume that I sleep for at least 7 hours
This video genuinely almost killed me because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
I want to become friends with Valefisk but at the same time I never in my life want to interact with Valefisk.
48:32 “I’VE GOT 800 MORE BANANAS” Had me laughing so much
It’s nice to see a company as torturous as Valefisk supporting this channel!
Yes now, this is a real gem and such a Valefisk tailored game, lovely to see
I laughed so hard when I heard Arma 3 refs at 39:57 : "2,5,7, return to formation!" and "Contact, men, 200 meters, front !"
I wonder how angry Vale would get if for one of these videos a Masochist makes their way into the game, and Vale tries to upset them while they get more and more happy.
That would be BEAUTIFUL
Valefisk vs Graystillplays.
Valefisk makes a board in GTA and GSP aces it first try without hesitation, because he is so used to boards designed to make him question his sanity that this was like a teir 2 out of 5 kind of board.
Valefisk vs LetsGameItOut.
the best parts of these were just people figuring out the meta strats that vale didn't think of, and basically just ruining the game for everyone else, somehow exactly as designed.
I don't really know much about Vale and his friend group, but I feel like half the time they pull through and play these things because they all can enjoy it together, otherwise they are just losing their minds lmao
It's easier to have fun if you're not the only one suffering! :)
The zebra strategy in the Crawl maze is peak "boys will be boys"
UA-cam randomly started playing your videos out of nowhere, now I'm hooked and love the content. Love the vibes the environment gives off and the editing style.
Pro war thunder tip: leak classified documents to make your fav vehicle better
I will now rewatch this video every second of the day to get the most mileage of valefisks abhorrent upload schedule
his upload schedule is a torture experiment all of its own
You can't beat me
Glad to see someone's familiar with the Campaign for North Africa. Couple other games which might have potential for the channel: Nomic (a game about politics and what I was hoping your democracy video was), and Magic Realm (the *second* most complex board game of all time).
My homie in christ you pulled that out of 28.24? Holy smokes...
Don't give him ideas
The slipping SFX made me laugh more than I would like to admit tbh
that and the "donk" sound from the signs over the train track.
Oh boy, new video where Valefisk makes both treasured friends and random strangers have a worse day! My favorite!!
Oh boy, remember when a game being made in unity was a good thing?
Lynx (I think it's Lynx) immediately soul reading Vale on "Spooked Ya" being Crypt is amazing
This has a great balance of elaborate and inescapable digital torture, wacky memes™, and genuinely gripping down-to-the-wire competitive and tactical gameplay. It's that mixture which produces the real good stuff on this channel.
Nothing more sounds better than the cries of men and the wailing of the trumpets of the opening of a new Vailfisk vid
Sad to see Scammers stoop onto my comment. Hate comment scammers
25:29 "It's a long way down, it's a long way down
And nobody wants to join you
And it's a lonely sound when you're on the ground
But you can stop it if you want to"
Nomy - Long way down
49:08 you are saying like its the bad thing. It was one of the best part of it all. I would love to watch it as a stream.
I don't know if I could handle being trapped under a pile of bodies in a vent for ten minutes, my noggin couldn't take the trauma.
BANANA CHAMP 2023
Another fine addition to the Valefisk cinematic universe.
How convenient I was just looking at your channel last night wondering when the next torture session was gonna be
me too
I wonder if Vale has ever check out the Team Fortress 2 custom maps. Seems right up his alley.
"which is hidden inside... *the crouch maze*"
oh dear god, Joe strikes again
valefisk episode 2: the joe strikes back
Whose Joe
6:42 this clip, just something about it is comedy gold to me
I still want to see uncut monopoly
i want to see the hours of just sitting there
insane monopoly: snyder cut
As I lay on my death bed, life slowly draining from my body, light leaving my eyes, vision glowing cloudy, I saw a figure walking closer. Through the death haze, it was hard to make out who it was. But then I heard his laugh. A laugh I would never forget. Valefisk. I reached out a pleading hand, desperate to grasp life from the brink of death.
A quick motion. A sharp pain. He... He had kicked me. As I lay there, I heard one last sentence.
"Yeah, that's unfortunate."
If Gregor Samsa one day woke up and was metamorphezised into a torturous mapmaker
40:09 that explosion was a perfect censor
14:35 I got an ad as soon as he shot. That was perfectly timed
The real intruders were the friends who suffered along the way
best comment
Truly a tactical game
That Halo map I actually know of specifically as Castle Wars, where you must reach the enemy base to steal their flag; yes, a CTF version of that Morbius thing.
I found vale because I was browsing steam and I happened to see crypt, at first I thought I vale was just a indie developer. Little did I know that faithful day I found someone who belittles and tortures people. TLDR being broke on steam let me find this great channel.
Vale's friends hearing the invasion sounds from darksouls whenever they get a DM from Vale in the wee hours of the morning.
I genuinely laughed for 2 straight minutes at 6:43 my sides hurt so bad 😂😂😂
The rule hint at the end is indeed for the campaign of north africa.
God bless Valefisk and his friends for playing this game.
43:58 sounds like Caboose and something he would say in Red vs. Blue
the bananas had me HOLLERING. lynx is a fucking genius
Im so happy I have waited so long for more intruder content from anyone
That crouch-maze triggers my claustrophobia and I'm merely watching
A job well done on vale's part
These videos are such a double edge sword. The maps look entertaining to experience but at the same time they are so hellish too
Thanks for accompanying my mental breakdown valefisk, grateful for the upload.
I got into watching your content after watching the first Crypt video and then immediately realizing that you were probably going to be the funniest person I watch on this platform solely because you are a sadist and everyone you employ to test or do these videos with HAS to be a masochist
Combat Units
Combat Units
Combat Units
Combat Units
Combat Units
Combat Units
Ah yes, my three favorite words to see in Vales titles "I" "Made" and "Torture". Always leads to the inevitable suffering for everyone involved, including himself sometimes.
Make more content on this game, or in general, because I really enjoy it
The only thing that would make the morbius map better was if there was ice physics on the bridge, and if objects spawned and fell from the sky with horizontal velocity to shove players around.
You have some seriously devoted friends. Also, the sudden Civ3 soundtrack at the end of the video sent me down a sudden nostalgia trip and I shall be suing for the emotions I was made to endure.
1 thing to say is that the crypt it could be interesting but it's so huge that all of the times that I played it we only killed ourselfs just to end the match and skip to another map.
Believe me it's pure torture and fun (but not so fun) when you're in a server with the "random map at end of the match" enabled and the crypt is always chosen between 2 maps.
This whole video is a great example of devs intentions of a map or game vs their playerbase being just a lil goofy
There are so many scenes in this video that wouldn’t be out of place in a brutal war movie if it weren’t for the hysterical laughter coming from everyone there! XD
*Valefisk Uploads*
Me: Welp.. Time to Lose Brain cells in the Best way Possible
(Love your Content Vale, Keep the Cursed Chaos Coming)
40:09 "Son of a.." *BOOOOM*
Perfect timing😄
When you consider that Valefisk Patrons participate in these videos, we conclude that they are, in fact, paying to have 'friends', which is a truly wretched state of affairs
40:10 "Son of a b-(boom)"
Timed perfectly lol
"Spooked Ya, is that Crypt?"
Vale: _Immediate disappointment_
40:00 The guy making Flashpoint references is a gem.
Banana tower's torture factor would have been drastically improved with only CS grenades instead of normal ones
Vale grows stronger with every torture video he makes
Oh boy, War Thunder, I can't wait to share classified military documents on public forums!
20:06 ah man in cave that video that does in fact exist that isn't plagiarized whatsoever nope not at all