This is a re-upload because the video got demonetized for "profanity" before... Want to know what was considered profane? Saying that this movie scene "molested my eyeballs". xD So I edited that part out, and hopefully it's not longer deemed too offensive for advertisers or whatever.
The funny thing is that even the villain in the movie was shocked that the main characters turned out to be even more useless than he thought. But then came the power of friendship, and deus ex machina, and as everyone knows there is no objection to this technique.=))) However, in the end, as it turned out, the main characters didn't even have to climb the tower, or even need ed superpowers, because ordinary c4 would do the same job for them. =)))
I still feel bad that this movie exists. Why, just why? The concept of a shifter bear is cool, but everything else... Thank God that now superhero films in Russia are being shot by Bubble.
@@tonysparda9281 The answer to this question (as well as everything connected with the Russian government) is pure and simple "MONEY". The "Cinema Fund" is so self-sufficient that it doesn't even need such nonsense as a viewer. =))))
watched some rus cinema the recent years regarding historic period dramas to see what they are up to and later got this recommended by prime. I think there are like 2 kinds of film-schools in eastern europe in general. One is statefunded and you can expect propaganda (like you always have with public funded period pieces regardless of their origin country). They are more tame and follow their sources and are more likely to make honest adaptions of books or historic events just with modern filming techniques and actors. So you wont see mad max leather vikings in that regard. The other One is funded by oligarchs to tax evade and the filmmakers are some spoiled brats oligarchs son that lived too long in the west trying to copycat western movie but fail to understand or connect the dots and you end up with some cringefest that is neither russian nor western. "Guardians" was the later film school obviously.
The funniest (and saddest) thing is. That "our" films from the cinema foundation have done more to spit on the history of the country, than the Western propaganda of the Cold War period.
There are also rus tv series which are better than most movies. Vampires of Middlewest Russia and Call-Centre to name the few. As for movies... Well, most modern Russian movies, probably except for "him, the dragon" "Salut-7" and "August 44" suck.
Honestly, when I saw how far back the blade was curved in the thumbnail I was reminded of those plastic Gundam figures that were out when Wing was popular here... as in, they look like the shotels of one of the main five used were melted and pulled back. Is there such a thing as the uncanny valley for weapons? 'Cuz that's the feeling I'm getting.
Actually, I can apply this definition to a lot of the swords - they are just oversized knives. =) Or even better - they are just metal sharp sticks. All depends on the way they are used, the tecnique.
@@ZooDSSfirst kriegmesser logic. in Germany (probably a specific region), there was a time were people who weren't knights nor high society weren't allowed to own swords, and the way they did the law was by banning the manufacturing technique used by swords of the time, so what did the blacksmiths do ? they made sword-sized knifes. it was made using the manufacturing technique used for hunting knifes, so it didn't counted as a sword.
@@cadethumann8605 I'm guessing you've never seen the curved/semicircular two handed pizza cutters before. They're commonly used in pizzerias and they cut much faster and straighter than the rotating circular cutters.
@Eidolon1andOnly Interesting. If you don't mind, could you link me an image of one? I only seen the circular ones. Still, I hope the blades don't curve back to the user.
@@5peciesunkn0wn I'm pretty sure Regal was using a double entendre here . Basically hes saying that a smith giving someone this sword is equivalent to the smith mooning him.
I was thinking "Sure he cut through the truck by using both or swinging multiple times. In this case though he would have to pass through the truck as well. How did that happen?" My working theory is he is VERY fast and very carefully bisected everything, then waited behind the car in a pose to make everyone think it was a single movement. Even the character is an edge lord.
@@bacicinvatteneaca holy shit he can't fight! That makes his weapons pure genius! If you disarm him, he knows you're a threat AND you've made him safer. No one can use those weapons, so it won't be used against him, but his speed allows him to trick people into thinking the weapons are somehow effective which means no competent fighter can get a read on him. It's pure intimidation with all of the bases covered! Just imagine him with that mechanic skateboard thing and a tiny saw rapidly cutting through the steel component, and a boxcutter for all of the interior, and once he's bisected it, goes over to pick up his useless weapons and pose.
@Luis Suazo what kind of waves? Air waves wouldn't do that. That's more of an anime thing. Wind erosion in driven in large part by dust and silica, and even water cutters have an abrasive media like garnet sand to do the actual cutting. The water is more of a guide. What we are really talking about here is a sort of air gun. Let's say he's a ninja and he throws some diamond or garnet sand into the air and swings his weapons to create air waves to slice instead of his weapons. First, the blades could not have a conventional cross section with a sharp edge, but instead have a concave channel at the edge like ice skates to trap the air and direct its momentum, with a taper towards the end of the track to maximize pressure like a nozzle. His weapons' extreme curvature would be like a gun with the barrel bend back towards you. Your projectile (air + dust) would lose its momentum halfway through acceleration. For an anime style air wave, you would want the slight curve in the opposite direction with some straight length, and for an air spear you would want something like a cesta for jai alai that could direct your air and sand in a precise vector. Even after all of that, most industrial water cutters move slowly from the edge of a precut hole, and the nozzle is very close to the material. That's because the water slows down fast and spreads out (air even moreso). At any appreciable distance, it would just pepper the target with sand. MAYBE he could have air running down a straight edge, with cutting media going into the channel from the hilt to make a sort of speedster powered, super sand blaster that cuts like a sword, but this would be very thin and not scythe shaped. Suspension of disbelief is fine, but no it's not a logical characteristic of his weapons. Edit: last thought. Using material like the sand in the desert requires kicking it up, which could obscured his vision and make dodging bullets impossible. As soon as he kicks up a sandstorm, a substantial wall of lead would be like a vertical, kinetic minefield that would keep him from closing the gap between them.
I can actually imagine the film directors being super excited that the plastic prop sword whistled through the air. “These holes make the sword faster, you can even hear it from the wind”
Film director don't give a shit about his own movies. Sarik Andrearsyan is his name. He hasn't control, impact or something that makes movie good and entertaining.
The curvature and danger of the swords reminds me of those unfortunate boars who's tusks continues to grow, curving back into their own skulls, eventually killing themselves.
Seeing those blades I instantly had the impression of sickles. If the edges were inside instead of outside it would make so much more sence. Even the cutouts would be more effectiv then
It was presented as a "Russian reply to Avengers that is much better in every way and even foreigners enjoy it!", and it bombed even in russia if I'm remembering it right.
The only plans they had, was money-laundering. They wasted tax money to create this atrocity. BadComedian did a review of this and many other government funded russian movies.
My thoughts exactly. A highly skilled CQC fighter, and the weapons are similar to a returning chakram. Imagine the potential of setting up delayed attacks while you pressure the enemy until they forgot the launched chakram boomerangs.
I just watched more clips from this movie and what makes these abominations EVEN FUNNIER is Khan can attach the hilts for this giant S-shaped super duper ultra slicer 😂
I can only imagine these things being "good" if they ar thrown with enough strength. Obviously chakrams would be better if he was going to do this any ways.
Well this being demonitized is fantastically silly, time to boost this even more. As I said in that older upload, I liked this movie, it was silly of course, but the concepts of a russian avengers/fantastic four team was cool all the same and I liked imagining all the cool stuff one could have done with this. So yes, the best part of this movie was imagining a better movie
The funny thing is that similar films about "Russian superheroes" have already been filmed before. For example, "black lightning"(or "чёрная молния" ). The film was stupid in many ways, but at least in its own sweet and simple way(and was a certain New Year spirit in it). But despite the fact that it was advertised even on the main channels, by the time this "masterpiece" was released, it felt like they had forgotten about it, as if it had never happened.
I liked this movie too, even though I could only watch it with subtitles so the 'acting' got lost on me for the most part :D That said, in terms of world- and character design, while admittedly edgy, at least it was creative. The mechs from the opening sequence are still stuck in my memory. And funny enough, the CGI in this looked actually better than most Marvel/DC flicks of 2016 :D
The extreme curve and those cutouts are instrumental to those blades' demonstrated cutting ability. Matter tries to stay away from that cringe and parts aside. That's how they cut. You don't even have to sharpen 'em :O
The machinegun mook was the least unrealistic part of this movie. I can totally see a moment of adrenaline-fueled panic causing a friendly-fire incident.
The Gunner wasn't surprised he shot the other truck, he was amazed the ammo bin swapped from his right to his left and then back to his right in just a couple shots. And the empty belt was now miraculously far shorter than it should've been.
The fact that they seem so proud of the design and taking their sweet time to show how much the blades are bending towards the user rather than the target
I watched this movie for a bad movie night and while it's nowhere near the worst movie I've seen (not even top 50), it is basically _Trope: the Movie._ Name an action/superhero movie trope and it's there. It's so dense with them that if you took a shot every time you spotted one, you'd be dead in minutes. If you tried to call out each one you saw, you might not even be able to articulate which trope you just spotted before another one occurred. I'd put it on par with _The Scorpion King,_ _Gods of Egypt,_ and _Battlefield Earth_ for quality, both as a "so bad it's good" movie and as a movie in general.
You know why Flash never carried weapons? Because super speed is so OP you ARE the weapon. This feels like compensating for something, which to be honest seems like the general theme with anything made in Russia. Edit: Wait, does he have speed, teleportation, or both?
It looks more like a video game dash ability than speed or teleportation. The cutting through the truck was just a sharp shadow charm he found in hallownest
Wow, and I thought some of the fantasy weapons I designed back in high school were bad! 😂 Speaking of weird weapons, have you ever done a review on Tira from Soul Calibur and her giant hula hoop of death? If not, I'm sure you could make a really entertaining video about it.
Yeah, parts of her fighting style make at least moderate attempt to make it sensible, but all of her hula-hoop attacks themselves would be really easy to interrupt or exposed. It is a gloriously goofy weapon.
Your comment about the cutting large things in half with a short sword or the cut-line being thinner than the blade reminds me of the first part of Metal Gear Rising where Raiden lifts up and throws a multi-ton robot and proceeds to slice the entire thing in half with a blade the size of a tacticool mall ninja sword
To be fair, raiden at least has the “scifi bullshit” excuse to use and electricity effects to distract you Or you could think of it like: the electricity from the sword is what cuts not the blade and that’s why the metal’s melted along the cut
@@tbnrrenagade9507 Well, the in-game explanation is that the blade resonates at a very high frequency as the electric current runs through it, which makes the cut "spread" away from the actual blade size in the form of very fast, tiny waves of vibration travelling through the target material. Kind of when you're chopping up wood, and the cut goes a lot deeper than the point where the axehead gets caught due to its thickness.
@@balintkovacs4089 that explanation only works for some things though. It makes sense for cutting things barely in his swords range or for some big cuts but not for things like armstrongs ant mech.
I would love to see a slowmo version of this where mr edge here windmills his arms like a 7 year old to gradually work through the truck like a human buzzsaw.
My brain can finally rest easy! I had a vague memory of someone criticising a film for cutting through a vehicle with too-short swords but for the life of me I couldn't place it. Now I know twas you, I can let it go lol
But what we can give is a moment of respect for the poor stuntguys that had to handle these things without doing the stabbi-stabbi with the rest of the crew!
Honestly, a shadow speedster like this would be better equipped with 2 pistols. Just run up, fire the weapon at point blank range. Once the bullet has left the chamber and is on route for the target, move to the next one and repeat the process. This is some crazy anime shit that looks awesome on paper, until you think about it for more than a few seconds.
I don't know why you mentioned the katana, Skall. Design is more reminiscent of a scimitar or some other Middle Eastern Saber. Looks like it would fit into the Prince of Persia games.
To me, The Guardian's fills a similar slot on cinema as The Bee Movie wear I'm not entirely convinced it's actually a movie and not an internet joke and the more I hear about it the more I'm convinced it's not real. Except instead of it being incoherent WTF memes, The Guardians is overwhelming unimpressiveness.
You know, if you actually filled in the holes of the curved blades and put them on 6 to 8 foot long poles, you would actually get a decent functional scythe or scythes.
Those weapons reminds me of that Ram with the horns that are so curved they end up poking it in the face. Guess the "speedster" power has a cooldown. :P
Im from Russia;) It was a trash film that got destroyed by funny review on it... Review got x10 more views then movie itself... so yeah: that abomination of a movie is a D- grade :)
Ngl, the trope of cutting through something, then a pause and then it slowly comes apart as if it was cut with an atom thick blade... i can't get enough of that. I embrace the edge, i love these tropey things and i will forever love them. Metal gear rising has cemented that in me.
On the bright side it keeps the mouth breathers from trying to hold them in an ice pick grip? "Look! He just backstabbed himself! Twice!" Do you still get a crit multiplier sincre he's technically unaware of where the damage is coming from?
So the flow arts community quickly pegged those swords as attempts to make combat buugeng. As a flow tool, buugeng create really entrancing visuals when used right. However, as actual weapons, there are huge problems.
7:12 “Stab, wait, stab?” That just killed me. Ya you could “stab” with a backwards slash or, God forbid, a revers grip, but only the middle half is useable.
Not sure how this may or may not have affected the production of the film, but this was also blatant political propaganda... That doesn't instill confidence in artistic value. This movie is basically the Russian equivalent of: "Endorsed by the United States Government!" after the title.
First, this blades are designed to look stupid. That's how Russian superhero genre works. Hollywood superhero movies look colorful and defy Earth logic; we can't make movies more colorful but we can make them more absurd. Second, the guy isn't real speedster. He is a "videogame speedster": he has some abilities like phaseshift or attack-during-a-phaseshift, but most of the times he moves on average speed and can be defeated by a simple punch.
Gives me ideas for new superheroes. Mall Ninja and Tacticool! Bitten by a radioactive trash-wallhanger blade designer two teenagers gain the power to actually make absolutely garbage mall ninja and tacticool weapons work super effectively in their hands against all laws of physics, common sense, good taste and decency! Only those kinds of weapons though. Anything actually functional will not work for them!
I always got the impression that they were a reference to the soviet sickle from the USSR flag from someone who had no clue what a sickle was... Also i would rank him right up there for dumbest mook ever, But I've seen Hokuto No Ken (Fist of the North Star) The mooks in that are a very special kind of stupid...
As a Russian I feel obliged to tell you the secret of watching our movies and retaining sanity. Don't. Just don't. If you absolutely have to - make sure you're as drunk and/or high as those who made 'em, this way you don't process anything, just watch the moving picture with sounds, and don't question all your life decisions that lead you to this moment.
Yeah movie industry basically just a laundering device now, it is not intended to be watchable and collect money in theaters, all money is already stolen. 90s-early 00s movies are good, as well as Soviet ones.
*"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem."Currently having a nice paying job doesn't mean you're financially secured anymore. it's obvious we are headed for hyperinflation, the rich are hardly affected by the economic problems. It is always the poor who take the hit.*
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Ok...but, for real. Now I do want to see someone make those crazy blades with cutouts along the thick of the blade....then develop a ridiculous fighting style based on ballerina and ice-skating moves..... elaborate twirling motions. It might look like a videogame but, I can see a great version of this in my head.
Regarding the last fight scene. Mortal Kombat logic. 'Realistically' speaking, Raiden who is a literal thunder god - thus teleports at lightning speed, pun intended - should be the only one able to keep up with Kabal after he transformed into the speedster budget Vader he is. But for some reason, and this is a common trope in superhero genres everywhere, everytime a speedster is in a fight, they only use their powers until they reach the opponent, then start fighting at normal speed. Flash does the same in DC.
I actually give the mooks shooting each other a pass. It looks really stupid in slo-mo, but the full speed is them spraying full auto while desperately trying and failing to track a target moving at inhuman speeds, and accidentally spraying across their allies in the other truck. Actually a fairly logical event in this human vs super human fight.
i almost wanna see the movie just for how hilariously bad it seems. also depending on the situation large aoe attacks/abilities/spells could defeat a speedster
oh man i remember actually watching this back then because i needed a superhero movie fix due to the MCU. i actually watched it from start to finish accidentally because the whole time all i was thinking was "what.." 😆
As a Russian I can confirm that these movies seem to be purposefully made by the government in an effort to provide its citizens with the supply of industrial grade cringe :D
As a Russian, I must say that we hate this movie too. It’s one of the biggest trash-movies that I ever saw, made by a disaster of a director. If you want to watch it - it is disgusting, both visually and narrative.
Given he's as tall as the truck, it is obvious how he cut it in half. He ran through it and only has the stupid swords to make people think he doesn't have the super power to turn into a blade going twice the speed of sound.
10:32 What makes this clip even more stupid is that his main strength is his speed. He can apparently dash through a car and slice it in half, but he decides to stand still, so the villain can hit him. If I was that guy, I would've cleaved the villain in two almost immediately, but of course the plot doesn't allow it. Gotta make it overly dramatic and "epic" first.
besides all the "sword-dumbnes"... the guy he cuts in half in the car. isnt he suposed to be the driver or smth? then why is he in the middle seat of the car? ill tell you why: so that he can be cut in half with the car ofc.
I wonder if the elasticity of soft tissue could explain the victims ‘resealing’ after the sword passes through? And like. The dumbest tactical blunders in this fight could’ve been explained if they _didn’t stop driving._ Floor it, the speedster can keep up, but butchering the trucks might cause them to veer wildly and do the accidental friendly fire bit.
This is a re-upload because the video got demonetized for "profanity" before... Want to know what was considered profane? Saying that this movie scene "molested my eyeballs". xD
So I edited that part out, and hopefully it's not longer deemed too offensive for advertisers or whatever.
RIP free speech
Rip to that. ☹️
Woooow
Nice of them to tel you what you did wrong they never tel me.
That is super dumb
As a blacksmith I almost... ALMOST want to make you one of these just so you can trash talk it
Please do it lol
YES! DO IT FOR THE VILLAINY! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
please do!
And I ALMOST want to test it. :D
If you make it, do the reverse, make it a sickle so the blade is on the inside.
The funny thing is that even the villain in the movie was shocked that the main characters turned out to be even more useless than he thought. But then came the power of friendship, and deus ex machina, and as everyone knows there is no objection to this technique.=)))
However, in the end, as it turned out, the main characters didn't even have to climb the tower, or even need ed superpowers, because ordinary c4 would do the same job for them. =)))
I still feel bad that this movie exists. Why, just why? The concept of a shifter bear is cool, but everything else... Thank God that now superhero films in Russia are being shot by Bubble.
@@tonysparda9281
The answer to this question (as well as everything connected with the Russian government) is pure and simple "MONEY". The "Cinema Fund" is so self-sufficient that it doesn't even need such nonsense as a viewer. =))))
At first I thought those were scythes, then I saw the way the blade was facing…💀
My abs are sore from laughing. Do more types of these videos please!
watched some rus cinema the recent years regarding historic period dramas to see what they are up to and later got this recommended by prime. I think there are like 2 kinds of film-schools in eastern europe in general.
One is statefunded and you can expect propaganda (like you always have with public funded period pieces regardless of their origin country). They are more tame and follow their sources and are more likely to make honest adaptions of books or historic events just with modern filming techniques and actors. So you wont see mad max leather vikings in that regard.
The other One is funded by oligarchs to tax evade and the filmmakers are some spoiled brats oligarchs son that lived too long in the west trying to copycat western movie but fail to understand or connect the dots and you end up with some cringefest that is neither russian nor western.
"Guardians" was the later film school obviously.
The funniest (and saddest) thing is. That "our" films from the cinema foundation have done more to spit on the history of the country, than the Western propaganda of the Cold War period.
There are also rus tv series which are better than most movies.
Vampires of Middlewest Russia and Call-Centre to name the few.
As for movies... Well, most modern Russian movies, probably except for "him, the dragon" "Salut-7" and "August 44" suck.
Nah man there is no distinction between those because oligarchs IS the Russian state. ( I live here, trust me)
This is horrifying! I can't wait to watch the whole movie!
It's better to see it in the badcomidian review. As most Russians and residents of the CIS countries have done. =)))
"Looks like the rookie sharpened the wrong side of the sickles again...."
"Eh..... I'm sure someone will be dumb enough to buy them..."
Oh no! It's watered down Kabal running towards our vehicle!
Dear god, someone managed to so thoroughly misdesign a blade that the serrations aren't even the worst part.
Honestly, when I saw how far back the blade was curved in the thumbnail I was reminded of those plastic Gundam figures that were out when Wing was popular here... as in, they look like the shotels of one of the main five used were melted and pulled back.
Is there such a thing as the uncanny valley for weapons? 'Cuz that's the feeling I'm getting.
It's a sword, it's a scythe. We present the Swythe
Replace the tip with a handle and you'd basically have a comically oversized Italian Mezzaluna kitchen knife.
and that's make it sound much more cooler and efficient!
Actually, I can apply this definition to a lot of the swords - they are just oversized knives. =) Or even better - they are just metal sharp sticks. All depends on the way they are used, the tecnique.
That would be more effective; because then you could at least cut pizza.
@@Attaxalotl its pizza time
@@ZooDSSfirst kriegmesser logic. in Germany (probably a specific region), there was a time were people who weren't knights nor high society weren't allowed to own swords, and the way they did the law was by banning the manufacturing technique used by swords of the time, so what did the blacksmiths do ? they made sword-sized knifes. it was made using the manufacturing technique used for hunting knifes, so it didn't counted as a sword.
Those "swords" are the melee equivalent of the looney tunes backwards bent shotgun skit
make them tacticool sabers and they make more sense.
100%
Still better than a flail axe for cutting wood.
bendy barrel extension moment:
basically karambits
To be fair, it would make a pretty decent pizza cutter.
Too bad the blade doesn't rotate for convenience.
@@cadethumann8605 I'm guessing you've never seen the curved/semicircular two handed pizza cutters before. They're commonly used in pizzerias and they cut much faster and straighter than the rotating circular cutters.
USS Discovery's got some competition 🤣🤣
@Eidolon1andOnly Interesting. If you don't mind, could you link me an image of one? I only seen the circular ones.
Still, I hope the blades don't curve back to the user.
@@cadethumann8605 If you google "industrial pizza cutter", one should show up. They kinda look like a Klingon bat'leth with less spikes.
When someone says they want a 'crescent' blade and the designer gives them the full moon.
Nope. Even the most crescent crescent moon IRL stops halfway. That's *artist* crescent moon.
@@5peciesunkn0wn I'm pretty sure Regal was using a double entendre here . Basically hes saying that a smith giving someone this sword is equivalent to the smith mooning him.
@@caseyb1346 aah. you are truly more smarter than I.
They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.
I used to be an adventurer like you...
that whole movie is banned in the UK, too much curved swords action
@@marcogenovesi8570 Skyrim isn't a movie.
They shall meet Sithis with their curved swords.
So curved, even Redguards are amazed!
I was thinking "Sure he cut through the truck by using both or swinging multiple times. In this case though he would have to pass through the truck as well. How did that happen?"
My working theory is he is VERY fast and very carefully bisected everything, then waited behind the car in a pose to make everyone think it was a single movement. Even the character is an edge lord.
He methodically crawled under the trucks to get the bottom half of them and make it look like he reached all the way through
@@bacicinvatteneaca holy shit he can't fight! That makes his weapons pure genius! If you disarm him, he knows you're a threat AND you've made him safer. No one can use those weapons, so it won't be used against him, but his speed allows him to trick people into thinking the weapons are somehow effective which means no competent fighter can get a read on him. It's pure intimidation with all of the bases covered!
Just imagine him with that mechanic skateboard thing and a tiny saw rapidly cutting through the steel component, and a boxcutter for all of the interior, and once he's bisected it, goes over to pick up his useless weapons and pose.
It looks more like a dash ability than speed, so I think he just got the hollow knight sharp shadow charm
Ninja power
@Luis Suazo what kind of waves? Air waves wouldn't do that. That's more of an anime thing. Wind erosion in driven in large part by dust and silica, and even water cutters have an abrasive media like garnet sand to do the actual cutting. The water is more of a guide. What we are really talking about here is a sort of air gun.
Let's say he's a ninja and he throws some diamond or garnet sand into the air and swings his weapons to create air waves to slice instead of his weapons. First, the blades could not have a conventional cross section with a sharp edge, but instead have a concave channel at the edge like ice skates to trap the air and direct its momentum, with a taper towards the end of the track to maximize pressure like a nozzle. His weapons' extreme curvature would be like a gun with the barrel bend back towards you. Your projectile (air + dust) would lose its momentum halfway through acceleration. For an anime style air wave, you would want the slight curve in the opposite direction with some straight length, and for an air spear you would want something like a cesta for jai alai that could direct your air and sand in a precise vector.
Even after all of that, most industrial water cutters move slowly from the edge of a precut hole, and the nozzle is very close to the material. That's because the water slows down fast and spreads out (air even moreso). At any appreciable distance, it would just pepper the target with sand.
MAYBE he could have air running down a straight edge, with cutting media going into the channel from the hilt to make a sort of speedster powered, super sand blaster that cuts like a sword, but this would be very thin and not scythe shaped.
Suspension of disbelief is fine, but no it's not a logical characteristic of his weapons.
Edit: last thought. Using material like the sand in the desert requires kicking it up, which could obscured his vision and make dodging bullets impossible. As soon as he kicks up a sandstorm, a substantial wall of lead would be like a vertical, kinetic minefield that would keep him from closing the gap between them.
I can actually imagine the film directors being super excited that the plastic prop sword whistled through the air. “These holes make the sword faster, you can even hear it from the wind”
Film director when swords make wind drag sounds: 🤤🤤🤤
Film director don't give a shit about his own movies. Sarik Andrearsyan is his name. He hasn't control, impact or something that makes movie good and entertaining.
Don't you know about "speed holes"? Homer knows all about them.
I am not convinced that these blades existed in any form other, than as a post-production visual effect.
You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.” - Guard
At least those “scimitars” did good damage
Must have been the wind.
@@marctaco2624i always maxed alchemy so literally every weapon did enough damage. But i still used that sword, it just had the best model
The curvature and danger of the swords reminds me of those unfortunate boars who's tusks continues to grow, curving back into their own skulls, eventually killing themselves.
This also happens with rodents. Their incisors grow so fast that they have to keep using them, or else...
Babirussa
"all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword" -Jesus of Nazareth when he saw these abominations.
Seeing those blades I instantly had the impression of sickles. If the edges were inside instead of outside it would make so much more sence. Even the cutouts would be more effectiv then
I was thinking that as well. You cut hook and slick things so much more effective if the blade edge was on the inside.
i always thought these were meant to look like hand scythes or sickles. i never thought about the edges being reversed, thank you.
this was a movie made in the Soviet Union -- it's actually quite likely that sickles were inspiration for those.. things.
They’ve got those already, the Dacians used less goofily curved falx swords like that
some sickles are sharp on both sides. open side for cutting, closed side for the roots below the soil.
Moral of the story: you need knowledge about swords to design them
even making them tacticool sabers would have been better then those things.
Even high fantasy curved weapons from most popular media are better designed than this shit lol
I maintain that wire manipulation is the best power for the “cut person that stays together just long enough to realize they’ve been cut” trope
Or paper hardening...
@@eyelessnosea1413 Or lasers
@@schoolsout15, lasers burn.
You know the creators and writers of that film must have had big plans for this as a series 😂😂
They almost had to.
It was presented as a "Russian reply to Avengers that is much better in every way and even foreigners enjoy it!", and it bombed even in russia if I'm remembering it right.
The only plans they had, was money-laundering. They wasted tax money to create this atrocity. BadComedian did a review of this and many other government funded russian movies.
@@antonkovalov9648 bruh
@@antonkovalov9648 big fail time lol
I expected these to be thrown like boomerangs,
It would make more sense than slashing with them
Yes, I re-uploaded a comment.
My thoughts exactly. A highly skilled CQC fighter, and the weapons are similar to a returning chakram. Imagine the potential of setting up delayed attacks while you pressure the enemy until they forgot the launched chakram boomerangs.
Must be so painful that you had to reupload this. I’m so sorry
Re-uploading is not that big of a bother. What annoys me is I lost about 50K views worth of ad revenue.
@@Skallagrimknowing your content im absolutely sure that you will get more this go round
@@sealteamtwix Doubt it... re-uploads usually get few views. But I was just too stubborn to accept this.
💀 bruv
Rewatching anyway, screw YT
I laughed the moment he pulled those sickle things out of nowhere. Literally nowhere, as their sheath or tips would have protruded his silhouette.
I think he pulled them out of another dimension. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's a looney tunes weapon; what do you expect?
I just watched more clips from this movie and what makes these abominations EVEN FUNNIER is Khan can attach the hilts for this giant S-shaped super duper ultra slicer 😂
At least he doesn't make a full circle
I can only imagine these things being "good" if they ar thrown with enough strength. Obviously chakrams would be better if he was going to do this any ways.
@@adamnicholls8708 în one scene he throws em btw)
Does he use them as hula-hoops and proceeds to dance his enemies to death?
@@DarkVeghetta That would be more reliable than anything else with those fuckin things
Jokes on UA-cam, I watch Skalls content on the regluar and don't mind to see the same video multiple times.
Well this being demonitized is fantastically silly, time to boost this even more.
As I said in that older upload, I liked this movie, it was silly of course, but the concepts of a russian avengers/fantastic four team was cool all the same and I liked imagining all the cool stuff one could have done with this. So yes, the best part of this movie was imagining a better movie
The funny thing is that similar films about "Russian superheroes" have already been filmed before. For example, "black lightning"(or "чёрная молния" ). The film was stupid in many ways, but at least in its own sweet and simple way(and was a certain New Year spirit in it). But despite the fact that it was advertised even on the main channels, by the time this "masterpiece" was released, it felt like they had forgotten about it, as if it had never happened.
@@АнтонДегидонов It came and went like lightning eh? :P
I liked this movie too, even though I could only watch it with subtitles so the 'acting' got lost on me for the most part :D That said, in terms of world- and character design, while admittedly edgy, at least it was creative. The mechs from the opening sequence are still stuck in my memory. And funny enough, the CGI in this looked actually better than most Marvel/DC flicks of 2016 :D
"Imagining the best movie" became a national pastime in Russia for several months after the release of this one.
The extreme curve and those cutouts are instrumental to those blades' demonstrated cutting ability. Matter tries to stay away from that cringe and parts aside. That's how they cut. You don't even have to sharpen 'em :O
The machinegun mook was the least unrealistic part of this movie. I can totally see a moment of adrenaline-fueled panic causing a friendly-fire incident.
Like that cop who mag-dumped because an acorn fell?
Except that his amm box and belt feed direction kept changing sides
The Gunner wasn't surprised he shot the other truck, he was amazed the ammo bin swapped from his right to his left and then back to his right in just a couple shots. And the empty belt was now miraculously far shorter than it should've been.
The fact that they seem so proud of the design and taking their sweet time to show how much the blades are bending towards the user rather than the target
I love Skall, but seeing his breakdown while witnessing crimes against logic is an absolute treat.
Well, time to rewatch this. UA-cam, you are drunk, stop hating your creator people.
I watched this movie for a bad movie night and while it's nowhere near the worst movie I've seen (not even top 50), it is basically _Trope: the Movie._ Name an action/superhero movie trope and it's there. It's so dense with them that if you took a shot every time you spotted one, you'd be dead in minutes. If you tried to call out each one you saw, you might not even be able to articulate which trope you just spotted before another one occurred. I'd put it on par with _The Scorpion King,_ _Gods of Egypt,_ and _Battlefield Earth_ for quality, both as a "so bad it's good" movie and as a movie in general.
This is so cute. He's just so fast that he's been able to outrun all logic to this day.
You know why Flash never carried weapons? Because super speed is so OP you ARE the weapon. This feels like compensating for something, which to be honest seems like the general theme with anything made in Russia.
Edit: Wait, does he have speed, teleportation, or both?
if you go that fast, all you have to do is throw a rock at someone....
@@Observer31 or punch them.... at like 500mph .
@@Ren-lx8wv and break all the bones in your hand, arm, maybe shoulder....
It looks more like a video game dash ability than speed or teleportation.
The cutting through the truck was just a sharp shadow charm he found in hallownest
As one who seen several reviews of this movie (avoided movie itself like a plague) - his superpower is speed and very fast reflexes.
“I’m not here to judge your taste (much)” might be your best quip
Wow, and I thought some of the fantasy weapons I designed back in high school were bad! 😂 Speaking of weird weapons, have you ever done a review on Tira from Soul Calibur and her giant hula hoop of death? If not, I'm sure you could make a really entertaining video about it.
Yeah, parts of her fighting style make at least moderate attempt to make it sensible, but all of her hula-hoop attacks themselves would be really easy to interrupt or exposed.
It is a gloriously goofy weapon.
@@evangilbert5251 she was a fun character to play with, though I wasn't the greatest with her.
Your comment about the cutting large things in half with a short sword or the cut-line being thinner than the blade reminds me of the first part of Metal Gear Rising where Raiden lifts up and throws a multi-ton robot and proceeds to slice the entire thing in half with a blade the size of a tacticool mall ninja sword
To be fair, raiden at least has the “scifi bullshit” excuse to use and electricity effects to distract you
Or you could think of it like: the electricity from the sword is what cuts not the blade and that’s why the metal’s melted along the cut
@@tbnrrenagade9507 Well, the in-game explanation is that the blade resonates at a very high frequency as the electric current runs through it, which makes the cut "spread" away from the actual blade size in the form of very fast, tiny waves of vibration travelling through the target material. Kind of when you're chopping up wood, and the cut goes a lot deeper than the point where the axehead gets caught due to its thickness.
@@balintkovacs4089 that explanation only works for some things though.
It makes sense for cutting things barely in his swords range or for some big cuts but not for things like armstrongs ant mech.
8:00 That bodyguard is a Clan Skyre ratling gunner in disguise, that is the only logical explanation
Watched again for the algorithm.
Now I really want Skall to actually commit to the bit and review a replica of the weapon lol
I would love to see a slowmo version of this where mr edge here windmills his arms like a 7 year old to gradually work through the truck like a human buzzsaw.
It's like the designer wanted to make a sickle, but someone said "naah, ninja." 🙄
On the plus side, that's what; 3 Skal videos in a week. 😁
Aye... But at what cost? 😂
My brain can finally rest easy! I had a vague memory of someone criticising a film for cutting through a vehicle with too-short swords but for the life of me I couldn't place it. Now I know twas you, I can let it go lol
But what we can give is a moment of respect for the poor stuntguys that had to handle these things without doing the stabbi-stabbi with the rest of the crew!
I could definitely see these in Bloodborne. They would combine at the handles to transform into a super-curved twinblade
Ptumerian Descendant.
That actually happens in the film allegedly
Wouldn't that be a single circular blade?
@@adambielen8996 it would be an even more useless S-shaped …thing.
@@marctaco2624 You're right, what was I thinking! A circle might have been mildly useful.
You could probably get work as a consultant for movies with stabby stuff if you asked around.
This movie had 2.4 on IMDb when I watched it...
I can't imagine how it got to 4.0 score!
Honestly, a shadow speedster like this would be better equipped with 2 pistols. Just run up, fire the weapon at point blank range. Once the bullet has left the chamber and is on route for the target, move to the next one and repeat the process. This is some crazy anime shit that looks awesome on paper, until you think about it for more than a few seconds.
Wow, that looks exactly like a sword I made up when I was seven
I don't know why you mentioned the katana, Skall. Design is more reminiscent of a scimitar or some other Middle Eastern Saber. Looks like it would fit into the Prince of Persia games.
To me, The Guardian's fills a similar slot on cinema as The Bee Movie wear I'm not entirely convinced it's actually a movie and not an internet joke and the more I hear about it the more I'm convinced it's not real. Except instead of it being incoherent WTF memes, The Guardians is overwhelming unimpressiveness.
You know, if you actually filled in the holes of the curved blades and put them on 6 to 8 foot long poles, you would actually get a decent functional scythe or scythes.
Those weapons reminds me of that Ram with the horns that are so curved they end up poking it in the face.
Guess the "speedster" power has a cooldown. :P
I didn't think you would re-upload it. I thought you were uploading a part 2 of more agony on the movie.
Im from Russia;) It was a trash film that got destroyed by funny review on it... Review got x10 more views then movie itself... so yeah: that abomination of a movie is a D- grade :)
Ngl, the trope of cutting through something, then a pause and then it slowly comes apart as if it was cut with an atom thick blade... i can't get enough of that. I embrace the edge, i love these tropey things and i will forever love them. Metal gear rising has cemented that in me.
Mooks have special guns. Once they pull the trigger they cant stop shootijg until they run dry
I'm honestly surprised one of those isn't a hammer.
And that is a fucking machine gun there should be shoulder size holes instead of little pistol like shots
I'll still rewatch and relike this
Can you make a review on Deadliest Warrior?
On the bright side it keeps the mouth breathers from trying to hold them in an ice pick grip? "Look! He just backstabbed himself! Twice!" Do you still get a crit multiplier sincre he's technically unaware of where the damage is coming from?
Everything about this scene screams everything my friends (and I) though was cool when we were 12.
So the flow arts community quickly pegged those swords as attempts to make combat buugeng. As a flow tool, buugeng create really entrancing visuals when used right. However, as actual weapons, there are huge problems.
would be curious (maybe one for Matt?) as to whats the most curved a (practical) real world sabre ever went
7:12
“Stab, wait, stab?”
That just killed me.
Ya you could “stab” with a backwards slash or, God forbid, a revers grip, but only the middle half is useable.
Only character and sword that can pull off the cut through anything and speedster edgy boy tropes is Vergil from Devil May Cry and his sword yamato.
you can't deny they're... edgy
Not sure how this may or may not have affected the production of the film, but this was also blatant political propaganda... That doesn't instill confidence in artistic value. This movie is basically the Russian equivalent of: "Endorsed by the United States Government!" after the title.
First, this blades are designed to look stupid. That's how Russian superhero genre works. Hollywood superhero movies look colorful and defy Earth logic; we can't make movies more colorful but we can make them more absurd.
Second, the guy isn't real speedster. He is a "videogame speedster": he has some abilities like phaseshift or attack-during-a-phaseshift, but most of the times he moves on average speed and can be defeated by a simple punch.
They solved the back scabbard problem.
Not really. There are no scabbards on the character.
Gives me ideas for new superheroes. Mall Ninja and Tacticool! Bitten by a radioactive trash-wallhanger blade designer two teenagers gain the power to actually make absolutely garbage mall ninja and tacticool weapons work super effectively in their hands against all laws of physics, common sense, good taste and decency! Only those kinds of weapons though. Anything actually functional will not work for them!
you can hear the pain in his voice 😅
I always got the impression that they were a reference to the soviet sickle from the USSR flag from someone who had no clue what a sickle was...
Also i would rank him right up there for dumbest mook ever, But I've seen Hokuto No Ken (Fist of the North Star) The mooks in that are a very special kind of stupid...
With how sensitive society is these days I'm surprised it wasn't taken down because of the violent scenes.
Violence is fine, saying fuck or whatever is not
As a Russian I feel obliged to tell you the secret of watching our movies and retaining sanity.
Don't. Just don't.
If you absolutely have to - make sure you're as drunk and/or high as those who made 'em, this way you don't process anything, just watch the moving picture with sounds, and don't question all your life decisions that lead you to this moment.
Yeah movie industry basically just a laundering device now, it is not intended to be watchable and collect money in theaters, all money is already stolen.
90s-early 00s movies are good, as well as Soviet ones.
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Ok...but, for real. Now I do want to see someone make those crazy blades with cutouts along the thick of the blade....then develop a ridiculous fighting style based on ballerina and ice-skating moves..... elaborate twirling motions. It might look like a videogame but, I can see a great version of this in my head.
really is it worse then a Steven Seagal movie?
Regarding the last fight scene. Mortal Kombat logic. 'Realistically' speaking, Raiden who is a literal thunder god - thus teleports at lightning speed, pun intended - should be the only one able to keep up with Kabal after he transformed into the speedster budget Vader he is. But for some reason, and this is a common trope in superhero genres everywhere, everytime a speedster is in a fight, they only use their powers until they reach the opponent, then start fighting at normal speed. Flash does the same in DC.
I actually give the mooks shooting each other a pass. It looks really stupid in slo-mo, but the full speed is them spraying full auto while desperately trying and failing to track a target moving at inhuman speeds, and accidentally spraying across their allies in the other truck. Actually a fairly logical event in this human vs super human fight.
i almost wanna see the movie just for how hilariously bad it seems. also depending on the situation large aoe attacks/abilities/spells could defeat a speedster
oh man i remember actually watching this back then because i needed a superhero movie fix due to the MCU. i actually watched it from start to finish accidentally because the whole time all i was thinking was "what.." 😆
As a Russian I can confirm that these movies seem to be purposefully made by the government in an effort to provide its citizens with the supply of industrial grade cringe :D
How bout Malthael's sickle-like shotels A.K.A Malthael's scythe from Diablo III
As a Russian, I must say that we hate this movie too. It’s one of the biggest trash-movies that I ever saw, made by a disaster of a director. If you want to watch it - it is disgusting, both visually and narrative.
Finally, обзор на оружие из Защитников
Given he's as tall as the truck, it is obvious how he cut it in half. He ran through it and only has the stupid swords to make people think he doesn't have the super power to turn into a blade going twice the speed of sound.
10:32 What makes this clip even more stupid is that his main strength is his speed. He can apparently dash through a car and slice it in half, but he decides to stand still, so the villain can hit him. If I was that guy, I would've cleaved the villain in two almost immediately, but of course the plot doesn't allow it. Gotta make it overly dramatic and "epic" first.
besides all the "sword-dumbnes"... the guy he cuts in half in the car. isnt he suposed to be the driver or smth? then why is he in the middle seat of the car? ill tell you why: so that he can be cut in half with the car ofc.
Yeah, i remember when this movie was announced everyone prepared to cringe, and cringe we did.
I wonder if the elasticity of soft tissue could explain the victims ‘resealing’ after the sword passes through?
And like. The dumbest tactical blunders in this fight could’ve been explained if they _didn’t stop driving._ Floor it, the speedster can keep up, but butchering the trucks might cause them to veer wildly and do the accidental friendly fire bit.
Can you review the fight the movie, Lupin the 3rd: the blood spray of Goemon Ishikawa?!
is this a reupload? i am 100% positive you already uploaded this before!
Yt be like: violence and nudity are fine on this platform, but bad words... that's going too far