What Unholy Tacticool Mall Ninja Edgelord Trash is This?!

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  • Опубліковано 4 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,3 тис.

  • @Skallagrim
    @Skallagrim  Рік тому +1493

    This is a re-upload because the video got demonetized for "profanity" before... Want to know what was considered profane? Saying that this movie scene "molested my eyeballs". xD
    So I edited that part out, and hopefully it's not longer deemed too offensive for advertisers or whatever.

  • @robhillen8007
    @robhillen8007 Рік тому +1109

    Those "swords" are the melee equivalent of the looney tunes backwards bent shotgun skit

  • @rorinthelarpdad120
    @rorinthelarpdad120 Рік тому +1633

    As a blacksmith I almost... ALMOST want to make you one of these just so you can trash talk it

  • @HalcyonSkies
    @HalcyonSkies Рік тому +512

    When someone says they want a 'crescent' blade and the designer gives them the full moon.

    • @5peciesunkn0wn
      @5peciesunkn0wn Рік тому +15

      Nope. Even the most crescent crescent moon IRL stops halfway. That's *artist* crescent moon.

    • @caseyb1346
      @caseyb1346 Рік тому +9

      @@5peciesunkn0wn I'm pretty sure Regal was using a double entendre here . Basically hes saying that a smith giving someone this sword is equivalent to the smith mooning him.

    • @5peciesunkn0wn
      @5peciesunkn0wn Рік тому +3

      @@caseyb1346 aah. you are truly more smarter than I.

  • @B.L.S.
    @B.L.S. Рік тому +760

    They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.

    • @frankfreda8570
      @frankfreda8570 Рік тому +56

      I used to be an adventurer like you...

    • @marcogenovesi8570
      @marcogenovesi8570 Рік тому +26

      that whole movie is banned in the UK, too much curved swords action

    • @HappyCynic
      @HappyCynic Рік тому +13

      @@marcogenovesi8570 Skyrim isn't a movie.

    • @black_hand78
      @black_hand78 Рік тому +12

      They shall meet Sithis with their curved swords.

    • @HongKongPhooey89
      @HongKongPhooey89 Рік тому +18

      So curved, even Redguards are amazed!

  • @joanignasi91
    @joanignasi91 Рік тому +1258

    To be fair, it would make a pretty decent pizza cutter.

    • @cadethumann8605
      @cadethumann8605 Рік тому +45

      Too bad the blade doesn't rotate for convenience.

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly Рік тому +101

      @@cadethumann8605 I'm guessing you've never seen the curved/semicircular two handed pizza cutters before. They're commonly used in pizzerias and they cut much faster and straighter than the rotating circular cutters.

    • @logicplague
      @logicplague Рік тому +6

      USS Discovery's got some competition 🤣🤣

    • @cadethumann8605
      @cadethumann8605 Рік тому +5

      @Eidolon1andOnly Interesting. If you don't mind, could you link me an image of one? I only seen the circular ones.
      Still, I hope the blades don't curve back to the user.

    • @Umbra_Nocturnus
      @Umbra_Nocturnus Рік тому +13

      @@cadethumann8605 If you google "industrial pizza cutter", one should show up. They kinda look like a Klingon bat'leth with less spikes.

  • @Baudelier42
    @Baudelier42 Рік тому +424

    Replace the tip with a handle and you'd basically have a comically oversized Italian Mezzaluna kitchen knife.

    • @unukbigwall2279
      @unukbigwall2279 Рік тому +38

      and that's make it sound much more cooler and efficient!

    • @ZooDSSfirst
      @ZooDSSfirst Рік тому +13

      Actually, I can apply this definition to a lot of the swords - they are just oversized knives. =) Or even better - they are just metal sharp sticks. All depends on the way they are used, the tecnique.

    • @Attaxalotl
      @Attaxalotl Рік тому +8

      That would be more effective; because then you could at least cut pizza.

    • @unukbigwall2279
      @unukbigwall2279 Рік тому +4

      @@Attaxalotl its pizza time

    • @ledocteur7701
      @ledocteur7701 Рік тому +9

      ​@@ZooDSSfirst kriegmesser logic. in Germany (probably a specific region), there was a time were people who weren't knights nor high society weren't allowed to own swords, and the way they did the law was by banning the manufacturing technique used by swords of the time, so what did the blacksmiths do ? they made sword-sized knifes. it was made using the manufacturing technique used for hunting knifes, so it didn't counted as a sword.

  • @Stethacanthus
    @Stethacanthus Рік тому +295

    I was thinking "Sure he cut through the truck by using both or swinging multiple times. In this case though he would have to pass through the truck as well. How did that happen?"
    My working theory is he is VERY fast and very carefully bisected everything, then waited behind the car in a pose to make everyone think it was a single movement. Even the character is an edge lord.

    • @bacicinvatteneaca
      @bacicinvatteneaca Рік тому +46

      He methodically crawled under the trucks to get the bottom half of them and make it look like he reached all the way through

    • @Stethacanthus
      @Stethacanthus Рік тому +47

      @@bacicinvatteneaca holy shit he can't fight! That makes his weapons pure genius! If you disarm him, he knows you're a threat AND you've made him safer. No one can use those weapons, so it won't be used against him, but his speed allows him to trick people into thinking the weapons are somehow effective which means no competent fighter can get a read on him. It's pure intimidation with all of the bases covered!
      Just imagine him with that mechanic skateboard thing and a tiny saw rapidly cutting through the steel component, and a boxcutter for all of the interior, and once he's bisected it, goes over to pick up his useless weapons and pose.

    • @tbnrrenagade9507
      @tbnrrenagade9507 Рік тому +18

      It looks more like a dash ability than speed, so I think he just got the hollow knight sharp shadow charm

    • @Agentsmithwasright
      @Agentsmithwasright Рік тому +3

      Ninja power

    • @Stethacanthus
      @Stethacanthus Рік тому +4

      @Luis Suazo what kind of waves? Air waves wouldn't do that. That's more of an anime thing. Wind erosion in driven in large part by dust and silica, and even water cutters have an abrasive media like garnet sand to do the actual cutting. The water is more of a guide. What we are really talking about here is a sort of air gun.
      Let's say he's a ninja and he throws some diamond or garnet sand into the air and swings his weapons to create air waves to slice instead of his weapons. First, the blades could not have a conventional cross section with a sharp edge, but instead have a concave channel at the edge like ice skates to trap the air and direct its momentum, with a taper towards the end of the track to maximize pressure like a nozzle. His weapons' extreme curvature would be like a gun with the barrel bend back towards you. Your projectile (air + dust) would lose its momentum halfway through acceleration. For an anime style air wave, you would want the slight curve in the opposite direction with some straight length, and for an air spear you would want something like a cesta for jai alai that could direct your air and sand in a precise vector.
      Even after all of that, most industrial water cutters move slowly from the edge of a precut hole, and the nozzle is very close to the material. That's because the water slows down fast and spreads out (air even moreso). At any appreciable distance, it would just pepper the target with sand.
      MAYBE he could have air running down a straight edge, with cutting media going into the channel from the hilt to make a sort of speedster powered, super sand blaster that cuts like a sword, but this would be very thin and not scythe shaped.
      Suspension of disbelief is fine, but no it's not a logical characteristic of his weapons.
      Edit: last thought. Using material like the sand in the desert requires kicking it up, which could obscured his vision and make dodging bullets impossible. As soon as he kicks up a sandstorm, a substantial wall of lead would be like a vertical, kinetic minefield that would keep him from closing the gap between them.

  • @dambigfoot6844
    @dambigfoot6844 Рік тому +219

    I can actually imagine the film directors being super excited that the plastic prop sword whistled through the air. “These holes make the sword faster, you can even hear it from the wind”

    • @Raptorman0205
      @Raptorman0205 Рік тому +20

      Film director when swords make wind drag sounds: 🤤🤤🤤

    • @Roman0ff_49
      @Roman0ff_49 Рік тому +13

      Film director don't give a shit about his own movies. Sarik Andrearsyan is his name. He hasn't control, impact or something that makes movie good and entertaining.

    • @RBrown-uk4xt
      @RBrown-uk4xt Рік тому +5

      Don't you know about "speed holes"? Homer knows all about them.

    • @richardbell7678
      @richardbell7678 Рік тому +3

      I am not convinced that these blades existed in any form other, than as a post-production visual effect.

  • @felixjacobsen5324
    @felixjacobsen5324 Рік тому +252

    Seeing those blades I instantly had the impression of sickles. If the edges were inside instead of outside it would make so much more sence. Even the cutouts would be more effectiv then

    • @JDGansGaming
      @JDGansGaming Рік тому +20

      I was thinking that as well. You cut hook and slick things so much more effective if the blade edge was on the inside.

    • @henrynewell8235
      @henrynewell8235 Рік тому +13

      i always thought these were meant to look like hand scythes or sickles. i never thought about the edges being reversed, thank you.

    • @stephenotterman6236
      @stephenotterman6236 Рік тому +11

      this was a movie made in the Soviet Union -- it's actually quite likely that sickles were inspiration for those.. things.

    • @extracheesy5120
      @extracheesy5120 Рік тому +2

      They’ve got those already, the Dacians used less goofily curved falx swords like that

    • @deepthought426
      @deepthought426 Рік тому +3

      some sickles are sharp on both sides. open side for cutting, closed side for the roots below the soil.

  • @johnprashanth
    @johnprashanth Рік тому +167

    You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords.” - Guard

    • @marctaco2624
      @marctaco2624 Рік тому +8

      At least those “scimitars” did good damage

    • @alexdhamp
      @alexdhamp Рік тому +4

      Must have been the wind.

    • @Alex-dh2cx
      @Alex-dh2cx 5 місяців тому

      ​@@marctaco2624i always maxed alchemy so literally every weapon did enough damage. But i still used that sword, it just had the best model

  • @UnrelatedAntonym
    @UnrelatedAntonym Рік тому +88

    The curvature and danger of the swords reminds me of those unfortunate boars who's tusks continues to grow, curving back into their own skulls, eventually killing themselves.

    • @yokaipinata1416
      @yokaipinata1416 Рік тому +4

      This also happens with rodents. Their incisors grow so fast that they have to keep using them, or else...

    • @thomasfplm
      @thomasfplm 5 місяців тому

      Babirussa

    • @petersmythe6462
      @petersmythe6462 4 місяці тому

      "all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword" -Jesus of Nazareth when he saw these abominations.

  • @raphlvlogs271
    @raphlvlogs271 Рік тому +109

    Moral of the story: you need knowledge about swords to design them

    • @drivanradosivic1357
      @drivanradosivic1357 Рік тому +7

      even making them tacticool sabers would have been better then those things.

    • @erickchristensen746
      @erickchristensen746 Рік тому

      Even high fantasy curved weapons from most popular media are better designed than this shit lol

  • @ViridianCrisis7
    @ViridianCrisis7 Рік тому +81

    I maintain that wire manipulation is the best power for the “cut person that stays together just long enough to realize they’ve been cut” trope

  • @officermeowmeowfuzzyface4408
    @officermeowmeowfuzzyface4408 Рік тому +50

    I laughed the moment he pulled those sickle things out of nowhere. Literally nowhere, as their sheath or tips would have protruded his silhouette.

    • @stuartmacdonald9289
      @stuartmacdonald9289 Рік тому +2

      I think he pulled them out of another dimension. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @creepercrepe8910
      @creepercrepe8910 5 місяців тому

      It's a looney tunes weapon; what do you expect?

  • @johanoskarsson8209
    @johanoskarsson8209 Рік тому +79

    Well this being demonitized is fantastically silly, time to boost this even more.
    As I said in that older upload, I liked this movie, it was silly of course, but the concepts of a russian avengers/fantastic four team was cool all the same and I liked imagining all the cool stuff one could have done with this. So yes, the best part of this movie was imagining a better movie

    • @АнтонДегидонов
      @АнтонДегидонов Рік тому +6

      The funny thing is that similar films about "Russian superheroes" have already been filmed before. For example, "black lightning"(or "чёрная молния" ). The film was stupid in many ways, but at least in its own sweet and simple way(and was a certain New Year spirit in it). But despite the fact that it was advertised even on the main channels, by the time this "masterpiece" was released, it felt like they had forgotten about it, as if it had never happened.

    • @johanoskarsson8209
      @johanoskarsson8209 Рік тому +4

      @@АнтонДегидонов It came and went like lightning eh? :P

    • @balintkovacs4089
      @balintkovacs4089 Рік тому +1

      I liked this movie too, even though I could only watch it with subtitles so the 'acting' got lost on me for the most part :D That said, in terms of world- and character design, while admittedly edgy, at least it was creative. The mechs from the opening sequence are still stuck in my memory. And funny enough, the CGI in this looked actually better than most Marvel/DC flicks of 2016 :D

    • @tonysparda9281
      @tonysparda9281 Рік тому +2

      "Imagining the best movie" became a national pastime in Russia for several months after the release of this one.

  • @Servellion
    @Servellion Рік тому +19

    The Gunner wasn't surprised he shot the other truck, he was amazed the ammo bin swapped from his right to his left and then back to his right in just a couple shots. And the empty belt was now miraculously far shorter than it should've been.

  • @Franky_Sthein
    @Franky_Sthein Рік тому +37

    Jokes on UA-cam, I watch Skalls content on the regluar and don't mind to see the same video multiple times.

  • @Swordhand1
    @Swordhand1 Рік тому +77

    I just watched more clips from this movie and what makes these abominations EVEN FUNNIER is Khan can attach the hilts for this giant S-shaped super duper ultra slicer 😂

    • @hyperion3145
      @hyperion3145 Рік тому +21

      At least he doesn't make a full circle

    • @adamnicholls8708
      @adamnicholls8708 Рік тому +12

      I can only imagine these things being "good" if they ar thrown with enough strength. Obviously chakrams would be better if he was going to do this any ways.

    • @eloidasarmi6815
      @eloidasarmi6815 Рік тому

      ​@@adamnicholls8708 în one scene he throws em btw)

    • @DarkVeghetta
      @DarkVeghetta Рік тому +1

      Does he use them as hula-hoops and proceeds to dance his enemies to death?

    • @Swordhand1
      @Swordhand1 Рік тому +1

      @@DarkVeghetta That would be more reliable than anything else with those fuckin things

  • @FireStar-gz2ry
    @FireStar-gz2ry Рік тому +137

    You know the creators and writers of that film must have had big plans for this as a series 😂😂

    • @frankharr9466
      @frankharr9466 Рік тому +4

      They almost had to.

    • @antonkovalov9648
      @antonkovalov9648 Рік тому +47

      It was presented as a "Russian reply to Avengers that is much better in every way and even foreigners enjoy it!", and it bombed even in russia if I'm remembering it right.

    • @zORg_alex
      @zORg_alex Рік тому

      The only plans they had, was money-laundering. They wasted tax money to create this atrocity. BadComedian did a review of this and many other government funded russian movies.

    • @nkemnoraulmanfredini7286
      @nkemnoraulmanfredini7286 Рік тому +3

      @@antonkovalov9648 bruh

    • @unukbigwall2279
      @unukbigwall2279 Рік тому +5

      @@antonkovalov9648 big fail time lol

  • @caseyhart9916
    @caseyhart9916 Рік тому +25

    The machinegun mook was the least unrealistic part of this movie. I can totally see a moment of adrenaline-fueled panic causing a friendly-fire incident.

    • @darksidegryphon5393
      @darksidegryphon5393 6 місяців тому

      Like that cop who mag-dumped because an acorn fell?

    • @Alex-dh2cx
      @Alex-dh2cx 5 місяців тому

      Except that his amm box and belt feed direction kept changing sides

  • @marctaco2624
    @marctaco2624 Рік тому +40

    I expected these to be thrown like boomerangs,
    It would make more sense than slashing with them
    Yes, I re-uploaded a comment.

    • @MrDespresso17
      @MrDespresso17 Рік тому +8

      My thoughts exactly. A highly skilled CQC fighter, and the weapons are similar to a returning chakram. Imagine the potential of setting up delayed attacks while you pressure the enemy until they forgot the launched chakram boomerangs.

  • @lemonZzzzs
    @lemonZzzzs Рік тому +14

    The extreme curve and those cutouts are instrumental to those blades' demonstrated cutting ability. Matter tries to stay away from that cringe and parts aside. That's how they cut. You don't even have to sharpen 'em :O

  • @HoriaNeagu
    @HoriaNeagu Рік тому +53

    I love Skall, but seeing his breakdown while witnessing crimes against logic is an absolute treat.

  • @Jack_Woods
    @Jack_Woods Рік тому +22

    The fact that they seem so proud of the design and taking their sweet time to show how much the blades are bending towards the user rather than the target

  • @Hoellewood_Solutions
    @Hoellewood_Solutions Рік тому +80

    Must be so painful that you had to reupload this. I’m so sorry

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  Рік тому +30

      Re-uploading is not that big of a bother. What annoys me is I lost about 50K views worth of ad revenue.

    • @sealteamtwix
      @sealteamtwix Рік тому +1

      ​@@Skallagrimknowing your content im absolutely sure that you will get more this go round

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  Рік тому +7

      @@sealteamtwix Doubt it... re-uploads usually get few views. But I was just too stubborn to accept this.

    • @puntacana7550
      @puntacana7550 Рік тому

      💀 bruv

    • @TheNightracer
      @TheNightracer Рік тому +4

      Rewatching anyway, screw YT

  • @Rullisi
    @Rullisi Рік тому +17

    This is so cute. He's just so fast that he's been able to outrun all logic to this day.

  • @АнтонДегидонов
    @АнтонДегидонов Рік тому +23

    The funny thing is that even the villain in the movie was shocked that the main characters turned out to be even more useless than he thought. But then came the power of friendship, and deus ex machina, and as everyone knows there is no objection to this technique.=)))
    However, in the end, as it turned out, the main characters didn't even have to climb the tower, or even need ed superpowers, because ordinary c4 would do the same job for them. =)))

    • @tonysparda9281
      @tonysparda9281 Рік тому +2

      I still feel bad that this movie exists. Why, just why? The concept of a shifter bear is cool, but everything else... Thank God that now superhero films in Russia are being shot by Bubble.

    • @АнтонДегидонов
      @АнтонДегидонов Рік тому +1

      @@tonysparda9281
      The answer to this question (as well as everything connected with the Russian government) is pure and simple "MONEY". The "Cinema Fund" is so self-sufficient that it doesn't even need such nonsense as a viewer. =))))

  • @niall_sanderson
    @niall_sanderson Рік тому +13

    “I’m not here to judge your taste (much)” might be your best quip

  • @josuelservin
    @josuelservin Рік тому +11

    Watched again for the algorithm.
    Now I really want Skall to actually commit to the bit and review a replica of the weapon lol

  • @smokeemifyougotem9662
    @smokeemifyougotem9662 Рік тому +13

    Your comment about the cutting large things in half with a short sword or the cut-line being thinner than the blade reminds me of the first part of Metal Gear Rising where Raiden lifts up and throws a multi-ton robot and proceeds to slice the entire thing in half with a blade the size of a tacticool mall ninja sword

    • @tbnrrenagade9507
      @tbnrrenagade9507 Рік тому +1

      To be fair, raiden at least has the “scifi bullshit” excuse to use and electricity effects to distract you
      Or you could think of it like: the electricity from the sword is what cuts not the blade and that’s why the metal’s melted along the cut

    • @balintkovacs4089
      @balintkovacs4089 Рік тому

      @@tbnrrenagade9507 Well, the in-game explanation is that the blade resonates at a very high frequency as the electric current runs through it, which makes the cut "spread" away from the actual blade size in the form of very fast, tiny waves of vibration travelling through the target material. Kind of when you're chopping up wood, and the cut goes a lot deeper than the point where the axehead gets caught due to its thickness.

    • @tbnrrenagade9507
      @tbnrrenagade9507 Рік тому

      @@balintkovacs4089 that explanation only works for some things though.
      It makes sense for cutting things barely in his swords range or for some big cuts but not for things like armstrongs ant mech.

  • @patientnr.0409
    @patientnr.0409 Рік тому +8

    I would love to see a slowmo version of this where mr edge here windmills his arms like a 7 year old to gradually work through the truck like a human buzzsaw.

  • @l0rf
    @l0rf Рік тому +10

    Well, time to rewatch this. UA-cam, you are drunk, stop hating your creator people.

  • @Bacteriophagebs
    @Bacteriophagebs Рік тому +9

    I watched this movie for a bad movie night and while it's nowhere near the worst movie I've seen (not even top 50), it is basically _Trope: the Movie._ Name an action/superhero movie trope and it's there. It's so dense with them that if you took a shot every time you spotted one, you'd be dead in minutes. If you tried to call out each one you saw, you might not even be able to articulate which trope you just spotted before another one occurred. I'd put it on par with _The Scorpion King,_ _Gods of Egypt,_ and _Battlefield Earth_ for quality, both as a "so bad it's good" movie and as a movie in general.

  • @Shindai
    @Shindai Рік тому +9

    My brain can finally rest easy! I had a vague memory of someone criticising a film for cutting through a vehicle with too-short swords but for the life of me I couldn't place it. Now I know twas you, I can let it go lol

  • @torquevonthorne948
    @torquevonthorne948 Рік тому +5

    8:00 That bodyguard is a Clan Skyre ratling gunner in disguise, that is the only logical explanation

  • @anasazidarkmoon
    @anasazidarkmoon Рік тому +19

    Wow, and I thought some of the fantasy weapons I designed back in high school were bad! 😂 Speaking of weird weapons, have you ever done a review on Tira from Soul Calibur and her giant hula hoop of death? If not, I'm sure you could make a really entertaining video about it.

    • @evangilbert5251
      @evangilbert5251 Рік тому +2

      Yeah, parts of her fighting style make at least moderate attempt to make it sensible, but all of her hula-hoop attacks themselves would be really easy to interrupt or exposed.
      It is a gloriously goofy weapon.

    • @anasazidarkmoon
      @anasazidarkmoon Рік тому +1

      @@evangilbert5251 she was a fun character to play with, though I wasn't the greatest with her.

  • @logicplague
    @logicplague Рік тому +72

    You know why Flash never carried weapons? Because super speed is so OP you ARE the weapon. This feels like compensating for something, which to be honest seems like the general theme with anything made in Russia.
    Edit: Wait, does he have speed, teleportation, or both?

    • @Observer31
      @Observer31 Рік тому +15

      if you go that fast, all you have to do is throw a rock at someone....

    • @Ren-lx8wv
      @Ren-lx8wv Рік тому +2

      @@Observer31 or punch them.... at like 500mph .

    • @deepthought426
      @deepthought426 Рік тому

      @@Ren-lx8wv and break all the bones in your hand, arm, maybe shoulder....

    • @tbnrrenagade9507
      @tbnrrenagade9507 Рік тому +2

      It looks more like a video game dash ability than speed or teleportation.
      The cutting through the truck was just a sharp shadow charm he found in hallownest

    • @HappyAspid
      @HappyAspid Рік тому

      As one who seen several reviews of this movie (avoided movie itself like a plague) - his superpower is speed and very fast reflexes.

  • @Darkmatterdwarf
    @Darkmatterdwarf Рік тому +5

    But what we can give is a moment of respect for the poor stuntguys that had to handle these things without doing the stabbi-stabbi with the rest of the crew!

  • @DaxterL
    @DaxterL Рік тому +2

    Ngl, the trope of cutting through something, then a pause and then it slowly comes apart as if it was cut with an atom thick blade... i can't get enough of that. I embrace the edge, i love these tropey things and i will forever love them. Metal gear rising has cemented that in me.

  • @ShirotoraGodsbane
    @ShirotoraGodsbane Рік тому +6

    Wow, that looks exactly like a sword I made up when I was seven

  • @brookechang4942
    @brookechang4942 8 місяців тому +1

    "The cut marks are always narrower than the blade."
    Goddammit, Skall. I never noticed that before you mentioned it, but now I'm never going to be able to ignore it again.

  • @nungous7190
    @nungous7190 Рік тому +12

    I could definitely see these in Bloodborne. They would combine at the handles to transform into a super-curved twinblade

    • @marctaco2624
      @marctaco2624 Рік тому +9

      Ptumerian Descendant.

    • @scottydu81
      @scottydu81 Рік тому +5

      That actually happens in the film allegedly

    • @adambielen8996
      @adambielen8996 Рік тому

      Wouldn't that be a single circular blade?

    • @marctaco2624
      @marctaco2624 Рік тому +2

      @@adambielen8996 it would be an even more useless S-shaped …thing.

    • @adambielen8996
      @adambielen8996 Рік тому +3

      @@marctaco2624 You're right, what was I thinking! A circle might have been mildly useful.

  • @LuxisAlukard
    @LuxisAlukard Рік тому +6

    This movie had 2.4 on IMDb when I watched it...
    I can't imagine how it got to 4.0 score!

  • @Battleaxegunner
    @Battleaxegunner Рік тому +14

    My abs are sore from laughing. Do more types of these videos please!

  • @charlespk2008
    @charlespk2008 Рік тому +3

    7:12
    “Stab, wait, stab?”
    That just killed me.
    Ya you could “stab” with a backwards slash or, God forbid, a revers grip, but only the middle half is useable.

  • @knightjack
    @knightjack Рік тому +12

    On the plus side, that's what; 3 Skal videos in a week. 😁

  • @tek512
    @tek512 Рік тому +1

    That blade shape mirrors the human spine after fifty years of untreated scoliosis.

  • @daearanion
    @daearanion Рік тому +12

    So the flow arts community quickly pegged those swords as attempts to make combat buugeng. As a flow tool, buugeng create really entrancing visuals when used right. However, as actual weapons, there are huge problems.

  • @Netherwolf6100
    @Netherwolf6100 Рік тому +3

    Honestly, a shadow speedster like this would be better equipped with 2 pistols. Just run up, fire the weapon at point blank range. Once the bullet has left the chamber and is on route for the target, move to the next one and repeat the process. This is some crazy anime shit that looks awesome on paper, until you think about it for more than a few seconds.

  • @alexdhamp
    @alexdhamp Рік тому +5

    I don't know why you mentioned the katana, Skall. Design is more reminiscent of a scimitar or some other Middle Eastern Saber. Looks like it would fit into the Prince of Persia games.

  • @steinarbergstl5799
    @steinarbergstl5799 Рік тому +1

    Gives me ideas for new superheroes. Mall Ninja and Tacticool! Bitten by a radioactive trash-wallhanger blade designer two teenagers gain the power to actually make absolutely garbage mall ninja and tacticool weapons work super effectively in their hands against all laws of physics, common sense, good taste and decency! Only those kinds of weapons though. Anything actually functional will not work for them!

  • @jasonberryman1035
    @jasonberryman1035 Рік тому +6

    At first I thought those were scythes, then I saw the way the blade was facing…💀

  • @kksmith244
    @kksmith244 Рік тому +2

    It's like the designer wanted to make a sickle, but someone said "naah, ninja." 🙄

  • @Sgt_Glory
    @Sgt_Glory Рік тому +3

    Everything about this scene screams everything my friends (and I) though was cool when we were 12.

  • @JelloFluoride
    @JelloFluoride Рік тому +1

    When your stupid looking sword isn't enough, you must yourself become the edge.

  • @vara202
    @vara202 Рік тому +5

    This is horrifying! I can't wait to watch the whole movie!

    • @АнтонДегидонов
      @АнтонДегидонов Рік тому +6

      It's better to see it in the badcomidian review. As most Russians and residents of the CIS countries have done. =)))

  • @Abominatrix650
    @Abominatrix650 Рік тому +2

    This movie has been in my watch list for years. Nice to know I'm not missing out on much

  • @AJKam1kaz3
    @AJKam1kaz3 Рік тому +2

    I didn't think you would re-upload it. I thought you were uploading a part 2 of more agony on the movie.

  • @aaronlaluzerne6639
    @aaronlaluzerne6639 Рік тому +5

    You know, if you actually filled in the holes of the curved blades and put them on 6 to 8 foot long poles, you would actually get a decent functional scythe or scythes.

  • @kilmcm45
    @kilmcm45 Рік тому +1

    Ok...but, for real. Now I do want to see someone make those crazy blades with cutouts along the thick of the blade....then develop a ridiculous fighting style based on ballerina and ice-skating moves..... elaborate twirling motions. It might look like a videogame but, I can see a great version of this in my head.

  • @brianmoyachiuz905
    @brianmoyachiuz905 Рік тому +3

    I'll still rewatch and relike this
    Can you make a review on Deadliest Warrior?

  • @СтепанЛарин-я3щ
    @СтепанЛарин-я3щ 8 місяців тому +1

    11:49 - ничего страшного, основную боль нам уже причинил БэдКомедиан, когда выпустил обзор на это🤗🤗🤗

  • @-Anarion-
    @-Anarion- Рік тому +4

    They solved the back scabbard problem.

    • @cadethumann8605
      @cadethumann8605 2 місяці тому +1

      Not really. There are no scabbards on the character.

  • @zonefangirl5315
    @zonefangirl5315 Рік тому +2

    Finally, обзор на оружие из Защитников

  • @HenshinFanatic
    @HenshinFanatic Рік тому +5

    I'm honestly surprised one of those isn't a hammer.

  • @ChristopherSibert
    @ChristopherSibert Рік тому +1

    He needed the weight of the backs of the blades, the holes are clearly for aerodynamics.

  • @ianyoder2537
    @ianyoder2537 Рік тому +3

    To me, The Guardian's fills a similar slot on cinema as The Bee Movie wear I'm not entirely convinced it's actually a movie and not an internet joke and the more I hear about it the more I'm convinced it's not real. Except instead of it being incoherent WTF memes, The Guardians is overwhelming unimpressiveness.

  • @PanPrawda
    @PanPrawda Рік тому

    i often click the thumbnail just to honor the epicness of this videos title.

  • @justincase3230
    @justincase3230 Рік тому +3

    You could probably get work as a consultant for movies with stabby stuff if you asked around.

  • @RazorToaster
    @RazorToaster Рік тому +1

    Even a lot of wall hangers are at least sword shaped.

  • @P.ilhaformosatherium
    @P.ilhaformosatherium Рік тому +2

    you can hear the pain in his voice 😅

  • @moffxanatos6376
    @moffxanatos6376 Рік тому +2

    Those weapons reminds me of that Ram with the horns that are so curved they end up poking it in the face.
    Guess the "speedster" power has a cooldown. :P

  • @NLBusiness391
    @NLBusiness391 Рік тому

    Wasn’t expecting to watch the whole thing through, but I absolutely did! You definitely earned a new subscriber man, great stuff!

  • @LCTesla
    @LCTesla Рік тому +3

    you can't deny they're... edgy

  • @dragonmaster613
    @dragonmaster613 Рік тому +1

    Is that a Redguard, because they have Curved Swords...
    CURVED. SWORDS!

  • @VCMEntertainments
    @VCMEntertainments Рік тому +4

    watched some rus cinema the recent years regarding historic period dramas to see what they are up to and later got this recommended by prime. I think there are like 2 kinds of film-schools in eastern europe in general.
    One is statefunded and you can expect propaganda (like you always have with public funded period pieces regardless of their origin country). They are more tame and follow their sources and are more likely to make honest adaptions of books or historic events just with modern filming techniques and actors. So you wont see mad max leather vikings in that regard.
    The other One is funded by oligarchs to tax evade and the filmmakers are some spoiled brats oligarchs son that lived too long in the west trying to copycat western movie but fail to understand or connect the dots and you end up with some cringefest that is neither russian nor western.
    "Guardians" was the later film school obviously.

    • @АнтонДегидонов
      @АнтонДегидонов Рік тому

      The funniest (and saddest) thing is. That "our" films from the cinema foundation have done more to spit on the history of the country, than the Western propaganda of the Cold War period.

    • @annasolovyeva1013
      @annasolovyeva1013 Рік тому +1

      There are also rus tv series which are better than most movies.
      Vampires of Middlewest Russia and Call-Centre to name the few.
      As for movies... Well, most modern Russian movies, probably except for "him, the dragon" "Salut-7" and "August 44" suck.

    • @marseillejoh
      @marseillejoh Рік тому

      Nah man there is no distinction between those because oligarchs IS the Russian state. ( I live here, trust me)

  • @bensteinhauser784
    @bensteinhauser784 Рік тому +2

    Mooks have special guns. Once they pull the trigger they cant stop shootijg until they run dry

  • @justguy-4630
    @justguy-4630 Рік тому +4

    With how sensitive society is these days I'm surprised it wasn't taken down because of the violent scenes.

    • @drive_6665
      @drive_6665 Рік тому

      Violence is fine, saying fuck or whatever is not

  • @Gorgonzeye
    @Gorgonzeye Рік тому

    The friction of the cutting interacted with the heat-shape-memory-change-alloy and straightened and extended the blade to cut all the way through the truck. Its science.

  • @JamesClemons601
    @JamesClemons601 Рік тому +9

    *"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem."Currently having a nice paying job doesn't mean you're financially secured anymore. it's obvious we are headed for hyperinflation, the rich are hardly affected by the economic problems. It is always the poor who take the hit.*

    • @joehurst6250
      @joehurst6250 Рік тому

      the pandemic has thought us the importance of having several streams of income. I'm no longer depending on salary or waiting for GRANT LOAN. because I earn $13,600USD return's from my initial $3400 weekly,thank GOD for crypto investment,

    • @donalddaniel1103
      @donalddaniel1103 Рік тому

      Same here, i will praise Armando over and over again because he has great skills, i started with $7100 and after 2week i received a returns of $36,400 then i continue with him ever since he has been delivering.

    • @gregorymctaggart6245
      @gregorymctaggart6245 Рік тому

      Who doesn't know Mr Thompson, Armando's Services is a talk of the town in Nottingham UK🇬🇧, A Friend that I referred to him, just received €50,150 profit after 15days of investing…..I became jealous….Lol

    • @gregorymctaggart6245
      @gregorymctaggart6245 Рік тому

      $his always active on 👇🏻👇🏻

    • @gregorymctaggart6245
      @gregorymctaggart6245 Рік тому

      whats-APK messenger

  • @DerSisch
    @DerSisch Рік тому +1

    This is my favorite Trash movie... I know its stupid... but thats part of the charme.

  • @kermitthorson9719
    @kermitthorson9719 6 місяців тому

    the grunt that fires on his own team, the ammo box flipp sides between the slowmo and his regular speed reaction edit, after some review, the slowmo is even flipped to the reverse shot seeing the other truck getting hit

    • @kermitthorson9719
      @kermitthorson9719 6 місяців тому

      ITS NOT EVEB THE SAME ACTOR BETWEEN SHOTS. is that russian racism, that 2 east asian men look alike.......

  • @rippilot2113
    @rippilot2113 Рік тому

    To your point about the trope of blades that aren't close to the full length of the object being cut and still fully cutting them in half. I'm reminded of a very particular example of this being addressed properly. This was in one of the Force Unleashed 2 cinematic trailers where Starkiller cuts a giant spider droid in half by cutting up through it once which only makes it halfway through and then cutting back through the other side to fully separate it. I thought it was actually pretty cool and was an even more impressive demonstration of the character's skill. I have no idea why this is so often neglected.

  • @blackreaper1288
    @blackreaper1288 Рік тому

    I really wonder how they do this filter of what can and what can't be on youtube, like, for real, it's really a shame to see that things this are demonetized and we have so many errors in this platform, so many things that can be user threat, non advised, and even...crossing the line between what's adult content and what isn't, tons of videos with this kind of content, and they don't give a damm, i have no wonder how frustrating and enfuriating this may be Skall, but unfortunatelly, this is the best i can say, you do a great job, and its sad to see how things go nowdays here on youtube.
    I may have exaggerated on this comment, or not, i'm just blowing off some steam, anyway, for anyone who had the patience to read all this, have a nice day/night.

  • @alzahimura6484
    @alzahimura6484 Рік тому

    God I swear these blades are a pain to see,I was waiting for you to review/destroy this abomination 😊

  • @morallyambiguousnet
    @morallyambiguousnet Рік тому +1

    Ah, yes. The Wish version of The Avengers. I thought it was horrible when it was first released in North America. I think it was on Netflix at the time.

  • @Densoro
    @Densoro Рік тому +1

    I wonder if the elasticity of soft tissue could explain the victims ‘resealing’ after the sword passes through?
    And like. The dumbest tactical blunders in this fight could’ve been explained if they _didn’t stop driving._ Floor it, the speedster can keep up, but butchering the trucks might cause them to veer wildly and do the accidental friendly fire bit.

  • @everthealtruist
    @everthealtruist Рік тому +1

    I love how his issue is with the pizza cutters and not with one member of the superhero group being a straight up bear.

  • @ngcastronerd4791
    @ngcastronerd4791 Рік тому

    Director: not enough blade
    Wpns guy: but sir....
    Director: MOAR!!!!!

  • @Scugzerker
    @Scugzerker Рік тому +1

    As a starting blacksmith (so far as a hobby) just looking at it even I can definitely tell that the whole purpose of this scene is just to look "cool" no matter how ridiculous shit gets, and holy chips did it get ridiculous.

  • @Alex.HFA1
    @Alex.HFA1 Рік тому

    There are so many visually interesting ways to defeat a speedster. (Comic book logic) Mine the road. Be armored enough to take his attack for a fraction of a second and counterattack. Area effect attacks. Just be experienced enough to be waiting for them because you planned for them. The last one is a hallmark of an impressive villain.

  • @k_the_v
    @k_the_v Рік тому +2

    One random idea that popped into my head: perhaps if this blade flexes and/or reshapes itself when swung. What if the gaps (which I agree look silly) allow the curve to straighten out, and gain speed and reach, when the character attacks with it. That's the only possible redemption I can gleam from this concept.

    • @k_the_v
      @k_the_v Рік тому +2

      Also: the length of the curved blade once it straightens out might be enough to cut the SUV from above

  • @Messihippi
    @Messihippi Рік тому

    Wow! The least convincing “hope you enjoyed it; thanks for watching” in You Tube history! Brilliant!

  • @grundged
    @grundged Рік тому +1

    Crescent Samurai Zombie Killer 9000?? 😳 OMG I want one! 😁

  • @jaspermoyes4984
    @jaspermoyes4984 Рік тому +2

    "this should all be fair use". youtube was immediately up on your ass after saying that

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  Рік тому +2

      That wasn't the problem. The problem was apparently saying that the scene "molested my eyeballs". >_

    • @jaspermoyes4984
      @jaspermoyes4984 Рік тому

      @@Skallagrim fr youtube needs to chill

  • @patrickbroadhead1982
    @patrickbroadhead1982 Рік тому

    As far as terrible movies go, this is actually a great one. Lol. Sometimes it's fun to have a terrible movie night with friends, something that you can sit around and everyone enjoys trash talking.

  • @mynthecooldude
    @mynthecooldude Рік тому +1

    He could've make a saw motion while cutting the car really fast, idk😂

  • @cuddleporo9004
    @cuddleporo9004 Рік тому +1

    the "self stabbers 3000"

  • @OpenBiolabsGuy
    @OpenBiolabsGuy Рік тому

    “I have not watched this movie, nor am I going to.”
    Same.