What It's Like To Know You Can't Have Kids

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 10 лип 2015
  • You don’t have to give birth to someone to be their mother.
    Check out more awesome BuzzFeedYellow videos!
    bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedyellow
    MUSIC
    Dreamscape
    Licensed via Warner Chappell Production Music Inc.
    Made by BFMP www.buzzfeed.com/videoteam
    +
    Lynn Chen
    lynnchen.com
    Lara Parker
    laraeparker
    Ana Lydia Ochoa-Monaco
    latinaprpro
    GET MORE BUZZFEED
    www.buzzfeed.com/videoteam
    buzzfeedvideo
    buzzfeedvideo
    www.buzzfeed.com/video
    / buzzfeedvideo
    / buzzfeedyellow
    / buzzfeedblue
    / buzzfeedviolet
    BUZZFEED YELLOW
    More fun, inspiring, interesting videos from the BuzzFeed crew. New videos posted daily! Subscribe for more BuzzFeedYellow! bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedyellow
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 6 тис.

  • @violetcooksthings
    @violetcooksthings 9 років тому +8278

    My adoptive mother was unable to have kids and chose to adopt so I now have a wonderful family that I am eternally thankful for. ❤️

    • @Ale-mo5pv
      @Ale-mo5pv 9 років тому +87

      I love this comment ❤

    • @Ella-rn5pu
      @Ella-rn5pu 9 років тому +99

      Violet Erlandson
      Me too adoption is a great thing!

    • @megadeth887
      @megadeth887 9 років тому +14

      Violet Erlandson can i adopt my wife

    • @louirudy670
      @louirudy670 9 років тому +10

      mohamed thesultan no

    • @TheftTv
      @TheftTv 9 років тому +2

      Violet Erlandson well atleast she was able to have intercourse without getting preagnet

  • @jamesfred2066
    @jamesfred2066 9 років тому +2050

    My best friend always talked about having kids. She picked out names, she said what traits she wish they would have... She just learned she's sterile. She hasn't stopped crying for three days.

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому +33

      James Fred Yes dreams don't always come true :(

    • @LetsChatGrace
      @LetsChatGrace 9 років тому +82

      I'm so sorry to hear that this is appending to your friends,she will be in my thoughts😔😇

    • @makeupbymeganlily2356
      @makeupbymeganlily2356 9 років тому +102

      Oh my goodness! At least she has you to support her. It's tough when you're so set on something and it's taken away from you. I'm so sorry to hear this but with her family and you to support her she'll be fine, she'll maybe never forget this factor but she'll learn to forgive it. Best wishes to your friend and you

    • @melealineberry4901
      @melealineberry4901 9 років тому +48

      I am so sorry for her loss. I hope she will be able to choose another path that will lead her to motherhood like she wanted. How old is she btw?

    • @jamesfred2066
      @jamesfred2066 9 років тому +3

      melea lineberry 21

  • @eden9953
    @eden9953 8 років тому +2390

    That broke my heart , they look like they would be amazing moms...

    • @RymVri108
      @RymVri108 8 років тому +60

      Why would it break your heart? They each came to a major realization about themselves, and they can still be moms(those who want to)! Did you watch to the end? As someone who can't have kids AND doesn't want them, I'm really glad that the women in this video made the point that women have more to offer the world than babies, and the social implications that we MUST do that in order to be loved or important or have anything to offer was what caused so much pain. I hate more than anything when someone responds with "that's so sad" when I say I can't have kids. It isn't sad. If I wanted kids, I could still be a parent. Not being able to have them doesn't mean your life is over - that was a major point of this video.

    • @hollymagee2300
      @hollymagee2300 8 років тому +24

      +Blythe Vrindavana it is heartbreaking for some. not everyone will have the same feelings towards it as you.

    • @dyslexicdarling898
      @dyslexicdarling898 6 років тому +12

      Adoption exists

    • @taylorq23
      @taylorq23 6 років тому

      Eden yes that would break my heart

    • @erinsmith7839
      @erinsmith7839 6 років тому +1

      Lol at basing the potential quality of motherhood on looks 😂

  • @breannas3064
    @breannas3064 8 років тому +3355

    It seems like the ones that can't have kids would be the best parents then the ones that can end up being horrible parents.
    And that doesn't mean every parent is bad for you simple minded people.

    • @reneegberry5897
      @reneegberry5897 8 років тому +24

      for reals

    • @MrMongomoryST
      @MrMongomoryST 8 років тому +41

      that's exactly why I want to donate my eggs one day. I don't want kids someone should get to have one

    • @tellmeastory95
      @tellmeastory95 8 років тому +41

      Because some people don't realize it's still a miracle to have babies.

    • @sharacy889
      @sharacy889 8 років тому +10

      +tellmeastory95 nice words hun

    • @breannas3064
      @breannas3064 8 років тому +10

      ***** it wasn't really even about the video it's common knowledge

  • @sammerb7557
    @sammerb7557 8 років тому +305

    For everyone who is saying to "just adopt", it's not at as simple as that. The fact that when you know you can't have kids of your own, you feel like something is being robbed from you. Even if you never really wanted children, it's still a choice that is taken away from you.

    • @caladana1
      @caladana1 8 років тому +3

      so true....

    • @brianamarin796
      @brianamarin796 8 років тому +1

      👏😞

    • @brianamarin796
      @brianamarin796 8 років тому +1

      👏😞

    • @animallover232001
      @animallover232001 8 років тому +6

      I don't want kids but when something wierd has been happening and I told someone, they told me that others who have the same thing makes it hard for them to have children or to even have children. I always told myself "Why do I want kids, kids are brats, they are hard work, what if something happens to them, what if I loose them?" But knowing that it may be hard or that I may never be able to have a child is kind of saddening.

    • @Viiiiiii6798
      @Viiiiiii6798 8 років тому

      So true 👏🏽

  • @applesauce7963
    @applesauce7963 9 років тому +505

    This makes me feel bad for not wanting to ever have kids. I wish I could give my ability to have kids to these women

    • @madisonx2229
      @madisonx2229 9 років тому +1

      +Diana Kimberly Except for Lara she apparently hates kids

    • @DatCrazyOokamii
      @DatCrazyOokamii 9 років тому

      +AppleSauce I wish that all the time...

    • @Shokara2
      @Shokara2 8 років тому

      You could always sell eggs (the pay is really good) or surrogate for someone. My friend paid her way through college selling her eggs...

    • @applesauce7963
      @applesauce7963 8 років тому +20

      Shokara2 I'm planning to adopt instead of giving birth naturally because I feel it's better to take in kids who have no parents rather than putting in more kids into the world so maybe I will sell my eggs

    • @AllisonMcClure747
      @AllisonMcClure747 8 років тому +2

      +AppleSauce That's what I'm planning to do also.

  • @lavenderclairy
    @lavenderclairy 8 років тому +575

    I'm only 15 but I know I'm not going to have kids. I have a severe chronic illness that affects every system in my body but especially my nervous system. It can be genetic and in most cases it is transferred to the child. I have lost my whole childhood and teenage years to this disease and I would never be able to live with myself if I passed it on to my child. They would have to suffer through the agony I have suffered through and that would be horrible. My mom had watched me suffer with my disease and I know it hurts her so I could never imagine watching my child and knowing that I gave this to them. It's just not right. It's also unsafe for me to carry a baby. So I'm just going to adopt! I will be helping and child in need and I will never pass my genes on. It's the best of both worlds. I'm just hoping my future husband is okay with it😕

    • @labyrinth1245
      @labyrinth1245 8 років тому +21

      im sorry to hear that, i hope you can get through it and live your teenage years well

    • @kiahsandy116
      @kiahsandy116 8 років тому +10

      God bless you. You will be ok.

    • @camiopida5552
      @camiopida5552 8 років тому +2

      Sprry to hear that. what is it?

    • @kiwimations8057
      @kiwimations8057 8 років тому +20

      Any husband who has a problem with that is a jerk and you should divorce/break up with him immediately.

    • @MyUploadedLifeJD
      @MyUploadedLifeJD 8 років тому +8

      Your future husband is gonna love you regardless :)

  • @lauraliz5285
    @lauraliz5285 8 років тому +2771

    I was adopted because my mom couldn't have kids on her own :) it was the best thing that could of happened to me. I thank God every day and I wasn't aborted and that I was adopted into such a good home. :)
    ( yo thanks for the likessss )

    • @jcastle1089
      @jcastle1089 8 років тому +20

      same!!!!!

    • @SimplyRochelle
      @SimplyRochelle 8 років тому +26

      Same. The best thing that's ever happened to me.

    • @farzoubah2450
      @farzoubah2450 8 років тому +2

      It is very courageous from your genetic mothers for doing this. :)

    • @samanthasherman6750
      @samanthasherman6750 8 років тому +5

      God bless you:)

    • @teatime1858
      @teatime1858 8 років тому +22

      You are so special, you were handpicked. Imagine just how perfect you had to be and still are.

  • @elizabethchung5285
    @elizabethchung5285 9 років тому +172

    Okay seriously- what's up with all these comments of 'go adopt'!
    Adoption is not that easy! It's not a thing of, "Oh I'm infertile let me go adopt." It's a matter of whether or not you are able or willing to take a chance and adopt a baby who comes from a background you may or may not know, to deal with probable future existential questioning, to go through the sea of paperwork and waiting and being let down over and over. Adoption is a beautiful thing- but having your own child is an experience many women crave, and to belittle it with cries of 'oh why can't you just be nice to all those orphans and adopt' is shameful. Only give advice about adoption if you have adopted, and don't ridicule sadness if you have not felt it. Oh, and grow up while your at it.

    • @thepuppetmaster1045
      @thepuppetmaster1045 9 років тому +16

      If you adopt a baby you don't really have to worry about them as much as adopting kids. And no its not shameful to recommend adoption. You seem to think that you shouldn't have an opinion on something unless you've experienced it. So let me tell you my opinion since I actually have experienced adopting. It shouldn't be easy for a couple to just take a child into their home. Orphanages and adoption agencies have to be careful who they let adopt children. So maybe you need to grow up while you're at it. Don't make adoption seem like a bad thing because you're saving a child and there's absolutely nothing bad about that

    • @elizabethchung5285
      @elizabethchung5285 9 років тому +18

      I'm actually encouraging the exact opposite of what your assuming I'm saying. Adoption is something that is beautiful. I even said that! What you are saying has nothing to do with what I am saying.
      I'm talking about how it's rude to not take seriously one woman's infertility with cries of adoption. Orphans and orphanages should not be propaganda for infertile woman to adopt. Adoption should come from the heart, not from UA-cam comments about how the inability to have children is a shallow sadness.

    • @ladyhangaku2072
      @ladyhangaku2072 9 років тому +4

      Sanaa Chisley I aggree... There are so many obstacles. You have to have more than enough money. There will always be a richer couple who will get the child. You could wait for several years until you get only the chance to adopt. There is round about one child for eight couples. This is frustrating and hard.... Of course they have to check, if you can care well enough for the child but this is not nessecary the most frustrating part. I heard about a lot of women who struggled with all of this and are tired and don't have motivation anymore.... :(

    • @TheLesExit
      @TheLesExit 9 років тому +2

      +Sanaa Chisley Deciding to become the parent of any child should come from the heart. I do want adoption to be encouraged much more though, for everyone. I feel that it is becoming much more common though. No one should feel guilt tripped into taking care of a child though...

    • @FuriousStrength
      @FuriousStrength 8 років тому +2

      +TheLesExit +Carol Johnson +Sanaa Chisley its shameful to bring up adoption because someone who just found out they
      can't have kids don't want to hear it. Like, "Oh, no big deal, just
      adopt!"But it is a big deal. You have to have time to grieve for the
      children you will never have. You have to get over the questions of your
      own womanhood and the fact your body doesn't "work" in the way it was
      intended. Yes, we may all know the answers to these questions, that we
      are more than the sum of our reproductive organs but in THAT moment,
      your heart doesn't care about logic. It just hurts. So yes, it's
      insensitive to immediately bring up adoption.

  • @rylee_l
    @rylee_l 8 років тому +2209

    I'm 14... As far as I know, I'm able to have kids when I'm grown up/married, but even so, I always dream of adopting. I feel like there's something so precious about giving a child a chance that they might have not otherwise had.

    • @Mad-ik4fq
      @Mad-ik4fq 8 років тому +127

      Me too. I'd much rather give a home to a child in need than make more babies

    • @safafaridi7443
      @safafaridi7443 8 років тому +40

      +Rylee Langlois ikr that's what I have always thought

    • @augustfalls8675
      @augustfalls8675 8 років тому +80

      dude that's really cool actually I'm adopted and It affected me for a while because I felt like my real family didn't want me but then I came to terms when I was older that I couldn't have had the life I had with my real family who is very unstable. Adoption is admirable.

    • @Mad-ik4fq
      @Mad-ik4fq 8 років тому +31

      August falls
      I'm glad you have a great family. I hope to someday provide a child/children with a good life and I hope that they will come to terms with it as well. I'd rather give homes to children in need instead of making more babies

    • @superninjafluff
      @superninjafluff 8 років тому +39

      ADOPTED KIDS UNITE! It is a wonderful thing to have a family choose to love you and take care of you. My parents adopted me as a baby and I will forever thank them for being the best family for me!

  • @annakelly1568
    @annakelly1568 8 років тому +1491

    woah she does not look 38 id say like 24

    • @alexischan8722
      @alexischan8722 7 років тому +26

      Ikr and she's rlly pretty

    • @minecraftcow9032
      @minecraftcow9032 7 років тому +1

      Yeah right

    • @fieray21
      @fieray21 7 років тому

      My thought exactly

    • @kiarasam4691
      @kiarasam4691 7 років тому +1

      Omg hahaha Me too I thought she was 26 ish

    • @natanyat4901
      @natanyat4901 7 років тому +29

      She is not European therefore she looks younger.

  • @isaaclooper4260
    @isaaclooper4260 7 років тому +1246

    Honestly, as a guy if I were dating a girl who can't have a baby. I would be fine with that. I would love her no matter what.

    • @thebiggerreality18
      @thebiggerreality18 7 років тому +31

      Isaac Looper exactly I agree

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy 7 років тому +7

      yeah women have it easy, i wonder how many women would love and be good to an impotent man ! my guess is zero, even when women have problems they are still way better off, being a woman must be amazing !

    • @meganmirehouse3439
      @meganmirehouse3439 7 років тому +49

      Isaac Looper you are a good man.

    • @Happy81555
      @Happy81555 7 років тому +11

      Your a great person :)

    • @maggieh1361
      @maggieh1361 6 років тому +34

      We need more guys like you in this world.

  • @chloecarroll884
    @chloecarroll884 9 років тому +685

    Never give your hopes up, my mom was told ever since she was 14 that she would never have kids considering she had to have a miscarriage because she got pregnant because she was raped. No one ever thought that she would ever have kids and when she was 39 she was told that she was pregnant with me, and she didn't believe it even from her doctor. My mom literally had one ovary when she got pregnant with me and had to have a c section and now, 13 years later, I'm here. Miracles CAN happen

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому +25

      chloe carroll But it is very very rare.

    • @hannahkraml6913
      @hannahkraml6913 9 років тому +21

      My mum was told that she can't have kids too. Well, I'm here and i have a sister too :) Never give up!

    • @emelygonzalez8087
      @emelygonzalez8087 9 років тому +14

      My mom had me and my sister and then she was diagnosed with cancer and told she couldn't have kids ever again 3 years later she was pregnant. Then 1 year later pregnant again. So miracles can happen

    • @chloemackenzie1514
      @chloemackenzie1514 9 років тому

      Miracle? Lmfaoo. More like a tragedy. With a face like that? What a nightmare

    • @omgitsdee0112
      @omgitsdee0112 9 років тому +28

      chloe adams what is wrong with you.

  • @witchplease9695
    @witchplease9695 9 років тому +577

    I don't want kids. I wish I could switch with these ladies, give them the ability to conceive and take away mine so people stop judging me for not wanting kids.

    • @sneeperbeeper2902
      @sneeperbeeper2902 9 років тому +10

      I know right?

    • @heatherclark6119
      @heatherclark6119 9 років тому +43

      Des I feel the exact same way. I almost feel like it's unfair for me to be fertile when I've never once in my life felt the urge to be a mother. And with so many women out there wanting so desperatly to be mothers, I wish I could just switch with them.
      I've considered donating my eggs before, though the only thing holding me back from that is the stories I hear about how messy the procedures can be. But I'm still considering the possibility.

    • @thecrazykid2898
      @thecrazykid2898 9 років тому +25

      Des It's really sad, people always told me it's weird and selfish of me to not want children. Seeing other women desperately wants to have children, it makes me feel bad for myself sometimes. Believe me if there's a way, I would give up my whole uterus and eggs to these women who would have been great mothers to lucky kids.

    • @ava.s5904
      @ava.s5904 9 років тому +8

      Des same! i dont want kids so i wish i was just un able

    • @TheKatiebugsTTV
      @TheKatiebugsTTV 9 років тому +28

      I KNOW! The moment I say I don't want children people start judging.

  • @jduce68
    @jduce68 8 років тому +89

    This is the exact reason why I loathe the question, "When are YOU/YOU GUYS gonna have some kids?" simply because 1) not everyone is physically able to and it's no one else's business 2) there are people out there who just don't want kids which is their choice. In either case the question is inconsiderate (and just plain nosy). People need to be more mindful of things like that. Maybe its just me..

    • @aragornsonofarathorn2170
      @aragornsonofarathorn2170 4 роки тому +3

      I agree. I'm asked that question all the time and it breaks my heart and makes me really mad. Like I can't have kids cause I'm most likely infertile and would miscarry because of a disease I have. Even if I was fertile, I'd still have to stop taking my medicine to get pregnant so is be in extreme agony

  • @zoesh3732
    @zoesh3732 8 років тому +241

    people who cannot have children may end up being better parents than people who are able to be pregnant as sometimes, having a child can be an accident and can be unwanted, whereas people who are infertile would be the ones who would be most grateful and thankful that they have children... just a thought...

    • @frostfang1
      @frostfang1 7 років тому

      Zoe Sh IDK about that. Gratitude, and the effort put into having them puts things into perspective, but that doesn't mean you are good at doing it. Aka WANTING something more than someone else doesn't make you BETTER at it. You May put more effort into it and it's upkeep once you have it. Sometimes people who put work into achieving something appreciate it once they have it, others lost interest. Is it the journey to achieve something that drives them and then they lose interest once they have it, or are they the type to treasure something more because of all the effort that went into working towards it? And again, effort =/= skilled or good.

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy 7 років тому +4

      same as nice guys, women never want a nice guy but they are the best boyfriends 1 because they are nice and 2 because the loanliness makes them treat women so well , sadly women reject this kindness in favour of abuse, hek even guys that kill children are preferable to women than a good guy that will treat them well, one wonders why all women say they want a good guy..... just a thought.....

    • @nakeitafrater3712
      @nakeitafrater3712 6 років тому

      It is hard to be certain of that as you just cant tell how someone's life can change when they have children, its a profound thing to happen to a person, especially the effect that such a major change can have on a woman's life. Its one of those things in life that you need to actually experience to say definitively that this or that would happen. If a person unfortunately cant have children you can just never tell as the effects on the body and mind cannot be tested . Experiencing pregnancy and childbirth is totally different experience entirely it is non comparative to being given a child and a piece of paper and someone saying here you go this is your adoptive child.

    • @Abbas_Daughters
      @Abbas_Daughters 6 років тому +2

      Zoe Sh I agree

  • @SavannaShea
    @SavannaShea 9 років тому +1819

    Hmm I've always seen the girl with overalls in videos talking about how she hates kids... Defense mechanism? It's so sad and not being able to have kids is literally one of my biggest fears

    • @Pokemonguy16RS
      @Pokemonguy16RS 9 років тому +37

      Savanna Shea maybe cause shes upset she can't have kids.

    • @MM-dy9zw
      @MM-dy9zw 9 років тому +145

      If she says she hates kids in a video other than this, it's just acting on buzzfeed. Buzzfeed wouldn't make a whole script of her using her disability to have children as entertainment unless it's a confession video like this.

    • @lookingforsure
      @lookingforsure 9 років тому +10

      Savanna Shea true ! at the end she's like "there's more to life than PRODUCING children". Scuze me? Having children and caring for them is more than "producing children" to most. Maybe that's a good thing that she can't have kids...

    • @kelmosbyy
      @kelmosbyy 9 років тому +174

      lookingforsure I don't think that's how she meant it, come on... She means there's more to being a woman than bearing children.

    • @Mf7d89
      @Mf7d89 9 років тому +41

      Savanna Shea She was acting and playing a role.

  • @Sebanoe
    @Sebanoe 9 років тому +2198

    Please adopt, if you have love to give to a child ,it doesn't have to share your DNA to be your family. The world is a ugly place for a lot of these orphans, you can actually be the change in the world you always wanted and in the same vein change both your lives forever.

    • @blahblahblahnahnahah
      @blahblahblahnahnahah 9 років тому +26

    • @marcya4428
      @marcya4428 9 років тому +89

      ***** I don't know what you're thinking, because if I had a child that wasn't mine and I loved them like they were, I would call them family. They would legally be my child. I have people I consider family who aren't related to me and they same would go for an adopted child.

    • @charliestewart4744
      @charliestewart4744 9 років тому +66

      ***** That's stupid, love makes a family. Most of the people I'm related to hardly even know me, but my step dad is closer to me than all of them. You wouldn't even know I am related to those people if you met us.

    • @UltimateFashionist
      @UltimateFashionist 9 років тому +8

      ***** Don't force people to have children if they don't want to. Also, sometimes these adopted children would be better off not adopted at all.

    • @marcya4428
      @marcya4428 9 років тому +34

      UltimateFashionist nobody's being forced to do anything. They mean if you can, instead of spending thousands on fertility treatments, you can adopt a child who would get a much better life if you did. A family is better than an orphanage.

  • @Xrayballer88
    @Xrayballer88 8 років тому +376

    Yes, she's 38. East Asians don't age until they turn 60. On their 60th birthday they wake up looking like they're 90.

  • @annanatasha6198
    @annanatasha6198 8 років тому +205

    They should interview men who are infertile

    • @wendylinkem6201
      @wendylinkem6201 5 років тому +6

      Exactly the reason why i never had kids

    • @MsMichaela999
      @MsMichaela999 5 років тому +6

      Agree, although the label infertile is not right. Most of these women are subfertile and not infertile.

    • @ddqio7774
      @ddqio7774 3 роки тому +1

      @icy rosette podcasts we know

  • @abigailslife4628
    @abigailslife4628 9 років тому +254

    I am an adopted child. I love my mother in every way possible. Due to problems she was not able to have her own kids, so she decided to to take a chance on me. I was adopted from birth, so I have no idea what it is like to have no mother, but I am very grateful for my parents.

    • @vsbaretummysugastonguetech1540
      @vsbaretummysugastonguetech1540 9 років тому

      That's so beautiful. Thx for sharing. ☺️

    • @DanishGraphicsEG
      @DanishGraphicsEG 9 років тому

      ;')

    • @xCANADiANGiiRLPS4
      @xCANADiANGiiRLPS4 9 років тому

      That's a beautiful thing to say.

    • @loverrlee
      @loverrlee 9 років тому +1

      Abigails Life Someday I hope to have as sweet and appreciative beautiful girl like you.

    • @TheZombifiedFairy
      @TheZombifiedFairy 9 років тому

      Abigails Life That's great! I have 2 kids (biologically), but can't produce any longer due to a tumor that went undetected for 10 years (15-25 years old). I'm only 29, and I want at least 3 more kids! It's nice to know that even if I adopt, the kids will still love me as much as you love your mom and will appreciate me all the same.

  • @NightStar787
    @NightStar787 8 років тому +1345

    It's weird...I don't *_want_* kids but if I ever found out that I *_couldn't_* ...I would probably feel pretty robbed because I *_couldn't_*, that I lost that choice and it really would upset me a lot more than I'd let on. So if someone like me, who doesn't want kids, is upset at the thought of not having that option...I really can't imagine what it's like wanting kids but not being able to have them

    • @gordonramsey6115
      @gordonramsey6115 8 років тому +1

      This is so double

    • @6677kata
      @6677kata 8 років тому

      +NightStar787 my thoughts

    • @KSan357
      @KSan357 8 років тому +27

      +NightStar787 that's actually how I feel. I have no idea if I want kids (leaning towards not wanting them) and I'm only 22 but I found out that it'll be more or less impossible for me to get pregnant. Just having that choice taken from me hurt a lot. But these women actually wanted to get pregnant... I have so much sympathy.

    • @marissasucks6624
      @marissasucks6624 8 років тому +17

      I always knew I didn't want to have kids. But when the choice was taken away from me and I could never have kids, I felt really angry when people have the privilege of having kids and didn't use it. Honestly, thoughts like these are extremely common among people who are infertile, and you're not a bad person for thinking so. If you realize that these thoughts are internalized from your illness and it's not what you really think, it's okay.

    • @zoeytrat6910
      @zoeytrat6910 8 років тому +14

      Wow, as weird as this sounds, you guys sound just like Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother when she found out she couldn't have kids. Even though she never planned on having kids, knowing that she doesn't even have that option is what makes it worse, and it breaks my heart to see women go through this sort of situation.

  • @Katie-vn1ty
    @Katie-vn1ty 7 років тому +130

    My auntie was told she couldn't have kids. There was about a 13% chance she could get pregnant. She finally got pregnant one day and she is now pregnant with twins! A boy and a girl and I've never been more happy for someone! I still can't believe it, there will be 2 new additions to my family next month!

    • @jae8940
      @jae8940 7 років тому +7

      Katie Harbinson congrats to your aunt ✌👦👧

    • @rainasingh5262
      @rainasingh5262 7 років тому +6

      omfg the luck she has!

    • @woolsheep5359
      @woolsheep5359 5 років тому

      Did she name them Boy and Girl?

    • @fjdjsjsj1646
      @fjdjsjsj1646 4 роки тому +2

      Katie Harbinson this gives me hope 💜 one of my greatest wishes is to find someone to stick by my side forever and have kids

    • @pweetypoo
      @pweetypoo 8 місяців тому

      That's beautiful

  • @mirunamariaionita3245
    @mirunamariaionita3245 6 років тому +23

    My mom found out that she couldnt keep babies when she was 21. She lost 5 babies. She was hopeless but after 14 years of trying she finally found that she was going to have me. After many treatmeants to keep the pregnancy she finally gave birth to me and her intere world changed! I never realised how much she sacrifed and tried to keep me alive. I love you mom although i don't always say that! Thank you for being in my life and giving me the most precious gift:my life!

  • @huhhwuhh
    @huhhwuhh 9 років тому +1272

    when I was 14, my period stopped because I was about 10 lbs under the average weight for my age and size. I haven't had it since and until it ever starts again (idk if it ever will) I won't be able to have kids. As a young teenager, that fact in my mind was pretty scary to me.

    • @DD-wg7rw
      @DD-wg7rw 9 років тому +49

      Did doctors tell you what's wrong?

    • @ceciliamatthews9442
      @ceciliamatthews9442 9 років тому +1

      Same here x

    • @simplykayg
      @simplykayg 9 років тому +93

      Gain weight when the time comes. Babies like a little bit of cushion in the womb area. I was in the same boat at your age. I'm now 23 with a 2 year old. Don't scare yourself before you need to.

    • @jujudithjujudith
      @jujudithjujudith 9 років тому +13

      Check out thisgirlaudra here on youtube. She has helped a lot of girls to get their periods back

    • @JS-0-
      @JS-0- 9 років тому +4

      carolinestories at least you dont have to worry about a period, lucky

  • @LeahKinsXx
    @LeahKinsXx 9 років тому +646

    I'm only 16, and I've always had problems with my reproductive system. I've been tested for multiple conditions over the last 3 years and they've all come back inconclusive. The only thing that is definite is that I won't be able to have kids. And even though I'm young, it really hurts knowing that even if I want to have children, I won't be able to. This video really hit home.

    • @sailorscorpio27
      @sailorscorpio27 9 років тому +6

      I'm in your situation, I feel you

    • @chloebradycb
      @chloebradycb 9 років тому +3

      I'm going to a Gyno on Monday to see if it's possible for me to ovulate in the future 😏

    • @bekkapfer6333
      @bekkapfer6333 9 років тому +4

      Keep hope! I went through problems and could never find out what was wrong. I finally learned that I have PCOS and endometriosis along with some bladder problems. Just knowing what you have is so relieving, I hope you will find the cause one day and the solution!

    • @jacquie.ec.2012
      @jacquie.ec.2012 9 років тому +12

      ***** You're only 16. I wouldn't lose hope. Medical technology keeps on advancing. By the time you reach the right age, I'm sure there will be plenty of options for you.
      I'm already 34 and it was only recently that I found out that I have issues. It's good that you found out so young. You have plenty of time to make adjustments in your life.

    • @LeahKinsXx
      @LeahKinsXx 9 років тому

      Chloe Brady Wishing you the best of luck x

  • @alexthelame2363
    @alexthelame2363 7 років тому +20

    I'm 17 and just found out that I won't be able to have children. It's one of the most heartbreaking thing to hear, but I'm going to see through this obstacle. I'm going to try to stay strong and find alternatives for my future.

  • @meganfletcher1994
    @meganfletcher1994 7 років тому +126

    Im a 14 year old girl recently diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrom and uterine cancer and i just found out about a week ago. My worst fear in life was not being able to have kids. I've always loved kids and volunteered at Children hospitals and daycares and I couldn't wait to be able to have my own one day. When I found out I had almost a 98% chance of being infertile I broke down crying and thought I lost my purpose in life. This video has helped me realize that there are other girls out there who have gone through what I'm going through and that as the women said, "You don’t have to give birth to someone to be their mother." I am currently going through therapy to help combat my depression due to being infertile and this has really helped me seeing such strong women talk about their similar experiences.Thank you buzzfeed and the women in this video! 💕💕

    • @hodanbarkhadle5577
      @hodanbarkhadle5577 6 років тому +10

      Ik this is late but I hope you're doing well with your therapy and just know you're not alone. You found out pretty young and its good you're coming to terms with it now instead of later. Good luck 🙏❤❤

    • @austinrichards1740
      @austinrichards1740 3 роки тому +1

      I’m sorry

  • @LauriiBeddaz
    @LauriiBeddaz 9 років тому +143

    As an 18 year old who's just found out she will not be able to have children , I thank you for shining some light on the 'taboo' subject of fertility issues experienced by young women.

    • @beccam2076
      @beccam2076 9 років тому +2

      Right. I was told I have endometriosis ( it's common in my family) and it's hard to accept the fact that I may not be able to. It makes it hard to watch your friends go through parenthood when chances are slim. I'm extremely sad about it and I give props for them to talk about it.

    • @LauriiBeddaz
      @LauriiBeddaz 9 років тому +9

      ***** Adoption is not a solution to infertility, it is a personal choice. The inability to provide the female bodily duty is an unfortunate burden myself and many of these women face on a physical, emotional and mental level that can impact a persons every day life.

    • @kimirutledge5009
      @kimirutledge5009 9 років тому

      Lauren Bedford I've been nervous I might be infertile because I had terrible eating patterns/disordered eating for many years. If you don't mind me asking, how did you find out you would not be able to have children?

    • @LauriiBeddaz
      @LauriiBeddaz 9 років тому

      ***** I had a tumour at 14 which engulfed one ovary, requiring it be removed entirely and the one I was left with was inactive; it doesn't produce mature eggs. I'm sorry to hear of your struggle. I would advise going to the doctor for some tests, it's not a nice experience but it's better to know and be prepared with options, than to leave it until later to deal with.

  • @thehonesttomomtruth610
    @thehonesttomomtruth610 9 років тому +937

    I can probably have kids, but I'm really excited to adopt when I'm older. I want lots and lots of kids without the pregnancy part.

    • @josepajares5684
      @josepajares5684 9 років тому +7

      Yay welfare!!

    • @tomward9652
      @tomward9652 9 років тому +82

      We need more people like you. I'm not just saying that, you actual help save the world by lowering the population which then helps sort out things like housing shortages, food shortages and not enough land to go round

    • @thehonesttomomtruth610
      @thehonesttomomtruth610 9 років тому +60

      jose pajares What does wanting to adopt have to do with welfare?

    • @unsolvedgrayscale
      @unsolvedgrayscale 9 років тому +66

      I agree with you! I want to adopt one or two children instead of going through pregnancy.

    • @emilieschaefer980
      @emilieschaefer980 9 років тому +2

      Me too.

  • @imqvpo4y
    @imqvpo4y 3 роки тому +15

    I’ve got pcos and lost an ovary when I was 13. I never imagined that in 2021 I would be getting a miracle baby and I’m 19 weeks along so far 😭♥️ Hope exists!

  • @JohnThreeSixteen7373
    @JohnThreeSixteen7373 8 років тому +154

    Brave women! I think they are very courageous to open up and share they're experiences. Being a mother is much more than physically giving birth. The gift of motherhood is the ability to care and nurture a child. The love a mother gives to a child is what's important. 😊

    • @JohnThreeSixteen7373
      @JohnThreeSixteen7373 8 років тому +2

      Sorry * their

    • @SriCharan98
      @SriCharan98 7 років тому

      Trуyying to Conceive?Discovеr the #1 Mistake CooouplesMake Whеn Тrying to Cоnссcеivеtwitter.com/2b64bf0bd9a3597be/status/783200219605245952 What It s Like To KKКnow You Can t Have Kids

    • @bachireljerrari9241
      @bachireljerrari9241 7 років тому +3

      i really respect their courage and selflesness. sharing such an experience in public is not easy.

  • @saagisharon8595
    @saagisharon8595 8 років тому +758

    The asian girl is 38?She looks 28

    • @dana-jd2kr
      @dana-jd2kr 8 років тому +9

      Ya my mom is 41 she is aisian ppl mistake her for a collage student aisian ppl aged very well

    • @thisisamanda98
      @thisisamanda98 8 років тому +1

      +saagi sharon asian people aged well. people thought i was still in elementary school, but i'm graduating high school next year.

    • @racheldarmawangsa9589
      @racheldarmawangsa9589 8 років тому +11

      +saagi sharon My mom is 42 and she got hit on by a guy who was graduating uni and thought she was a freshman....

    • @chapmanmoore7766
      @chapmanmoore7766 8 років тому +2

      +Rachel Darmawangsa your mom must be pretty hot

    • @yeezyspphard
      @yeezyspphard 8 років тому +1

      +The Mystery Yeah i agree

  • @missfashionator
    @missfashionator 9 років тому +814

    38?! She looks like 25

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому +2

      untrue true

    • @thesheelie
      @thesheelie 9 років тому +24

      It's an Asian thing. 😂

    • @missfashionator
      @missfashionator 9 років тому +38

      Shela Nguyen actually, from experience I wanna say it is a non-caucasian thing

    • @thesheelie
      @thesheelie 9 років тому +8

      untrue true that, I've seen Latinas that are like 40 but they look like they're 25 something. But since you said it was that Asian woman that said she was 38, I said it was an Asian thing too 😂

    • @missfashionator
      @missfashionator 9 років тому

      Shela Nguyen haha yea right! :D

  • @brittneyrollins1019
    @brittneyrollins1019 7 років тому +3

    My mother was told she couldn't have kids and little did she know she was pregnant with me and I was born at 6 months. She had a healthy baby girl. Her doctors called it a miracle...always keep faith

  • @CelesteTM98
    @CelesteTM98 8 років тому +272

    I have never wanted children, and I am 18 and the thought still repels me. All though I really wish I could give my ability (as far as I know) to have children to somebody who actually wants a child. :(

    • @thomase13
      @thomase13 8 років тому +5

      Donate your womb!!
      Lololol
      They're actually doing womb transplants now but seriously who would go through that much surgical trauma just to donate?

    • @willowacres
      @willowacres 7 років тому +3

      xFrigoreluna surrogacy!

    • @violettippet5246
      @violettippet5246 7 років тому +17

      I can't have kids I never wanted them. When I found out I couldn't have kids I thought... Great, and I thought nothing of it for many years. Now that I'm nearly 27, my biological clock in kicking in and I am finally thinking about it again and I'm unsure of how I feel about it. I feel sad that my line is dying out.

    • @mishaboo2078
      @mishaboo2078 7 років тому +5

      xFrigoreluna I literally just cried reading this. God bless your heart! I don't remember a time my life where I didn't want to be a Mom. However, I got sick 5 years ago. Everything changed. But my goal still remains to be a Mother someday.

    • @rachelluna7144
      @rachelluna7144 6 років тому

      Sylviax become a surrogate? Xx

  • @he.smile_
    @he.smile_ 9 років тому +4414

    ''I'm 38 and I don't want kids''
    Waiiiit a second, let's just rewind for a moment.. YOU'RE 38 ?! Are you a vampire ?

    • @ZEST.bybelle
      @ZEST.bybelle 9 років тому +360

      Ismael Ouattara she's soo gorgeous

    • @xe7535
      @xe7535 9 років тому +296

      Honesty damn I wish I can look that good at 38 😱

    • @Mageeelovesfrank
      @Mageeelovesfrank 9 років тому +170

      Ismael Ouattara Asian don't raisin haha :)

    • @nurellisyatasnim2271
      @nurellisyatasnim2271 9 років тому +146

      Asians just don't age. There's your explanation 😊

    • @jayc342009
      @jayc342009 9 років тому +26

      Nur Ellisya actually, they do. It's just a stereotype

  • @amberjones1447
    @amberjones1447 8 років тому +348

    I didn't know how much I needed this video until I watched it. About 6 months ago I was told that for some reason that they aren't really sure of, I was born without ovaries. That news to a 16 (now 17) year old was and still is devastating, especially since I wanted children. It doesn't seem like a major problem but I can honestly say I've never felt like more of a mistake in my life. I thought that there was something wrong with me. That maybe I shouldn't have ever been born. As scary as it seems, I basically didn't want to exist anymore. I'm still partially in denial because I just keep hoping that they made a mistake and that I'm not a messed up person. But everyday I come a little bit closer to accepting it. Thank you so much for making this video, Buzzfeed.

    • @kenzieflii
      @kenzieflii 8 років тому

      Do you still have periods?

    • @mickeyminecraftgirl6077
      @mickeyminecraftgirl6077 8 років тому

      +Steve Uni most likely no, because your period is your ovaries releasing an egg, and without your ovaries , that doesn't seem like very possible

    • @sssophie9292
      @sssophie9292 8 років тому +6

      I don't know what you're going through. But I want you to know that if you ever feel like you shouldn't exist in this world, you are worth it and people love, need, and appreciate you. :) Best wishes x

    • @amberjones1447
      @amberjones1447 8 років тому +1

      Nibor I'm really sorry to hear that you have to go through that. I troy believe that you can get through it though/ Best of luck to you! :)

    • @amberjones1447
      @amberjones1447 8 років тому +1

      Sssophie I really appreciate it. It's been difficult to feel all those things lately, but I do have hope for the future. Best wishes to you as well! :)

  • @nancyeweiker
    @nancyeweiker 8 років тому +107

    I found out when I was 19 that I couldn't have children. We tried for 7 years with more test, medications, procedures than I care to count. Every time we did conceive I would miscarry. Finally we made the decision to just be. Just be ok with our life and our family and all. A year later we received a call that forever changed our lives. Someone we knew was pregnant and didn't want the baby. So two months later I cut the cord of our son, who is now 7 years old. I believe that everything we went though prepared us to love the amazing child we were blessed with.

    • @kamiasajul3872
      @kamiasajul3872 6 років тому +4

      I know this is a year late, but that's really beautiful. I hope you and your son are doing well. 😊😊😊😊

    • @austinrichards1740
      @austinrichards1740 3 роки тому +1

      Nice

  • @maggiegaunt5080
    @maggiegaunt5080 8 років тому +80

    When I was little I had cancer. They had to remove my uterus in order for me to survive. I won't be able to have kids😢

    • @rhiclark1934
      @rhiclark1934 8 років тому

      I feel so bad for u ;~;

    • @CinnamonCari
      @CinnamonCari 8 років тому +26

      Damn, that's heavy. I'm sorry.

    • @ms.mittenz
      @ms.mittenz 8 років тому +3

      There have been sucessfull uterus transplants, which allowed woman to finish a pregnancy. Maybe in the near future it will be more common...

    • @AmyMayHuntCFit
      @AmyMayHuntCFit 8 років тому +1

      +Ayla Soares I'vr heard about this. its replaced per pregnancy, eventually it will be privatised but it's so new it wont be around fully for a good 5-8 years. :(

    • @smellamyblake8352
      @smellamyblake8352 7 років тому +10

      Not exactly. You can have a surrogate mother carry the child by combining your egg and your partner's sperm in a lab and doing invitro fertillization. As long as you have ovaries that is an option

  • @user-ld6yj9er3c
    @user-ld6yj9er3c 8 років тому +488

    I CANNOT believe that girl in grey shirt is 38, she seems so young and pretty
    I would give her 25-26 tops

    • @misosoup4404
      @misosoup4404 8 років тому +7

      Asians.

    • @CitiesSkyGay
      @CitiesSkyGay 8 років тому +11

      +Отрішко Юлія Asian don't raisin :)

    • @noahlowrie6742
      @noahlowrie6742 8 років тому +4

      +Anthony Yang black don't crack

    • @microlightreview
      @microlightreview 8 років тому +1

      my mom is 46. im taller than her and she looks like my sister lmao

    • @Morgzz23
      @Morgzz23 8 років тому

      I'm 17 I can't give birth physically but as far as I know I'm good on eggs I haven't had em checked out though

  • @mrjixk
    @mrjixk 8 років тому +1469

    If you can't have kids, adopt. Love them as if they were your own. You will be making the life of someone else better as well as yours.

    • @milliethehorse2732
      @milliethehorse2732 8 років тому +3

      I thought that too xx

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 8 років тому +51

      +Jasmine Yeung There's also the fact that many people idealise adoption, and go in to it thinking they're 'saving' a lonely little orphan who will immediately embrace them as the parents they've always wanted (First of all, it's highly unlikely that the child you adopt will be an orphan.) Children who have lived in the care system have different needs to children who have only ever known one family, and it's very important that people considering adoption understand this, otherwise you will be ill-prepared to properly help and take care of that child.

    • @candlewax6235
      @candlewax6235 8 років тому +7

      love them, because they are your owns, my best friends mom adopted her and her mom treats her like any other good mother would

    • @shenandoahsturgeon8275
      @shenandoahsturgeon8275 8 років тому +12

      Just so you know not to be mean but the as if they were your own should say they are your own not sure if you were adopted or not but when you adopt a child you sometimes forget that there adopted. All my life people would ask why don't you look like your mom or oh your mixed your dad most be black and then when I tell them Im adopted people will say oh did you know that your mom could sell you online or you could marry your brother like no I couldn't that's my brother no matter what I wish parents would teach there children not to be rude and not to stare because I just called a white woman mom and for those who don't know you can't just find your "birth mom" or parents or siblings because you have to wait until your 18 to even look but sometimes your social worker (who barely stopped by my house 1) will tell you if you have a sibling or how old or how many but just remember those of you out there this is my family and it's rude to say stupid things like that. But your right adoption is hard to do but it's a great thing to do and you will love them the same as if you had given birth.
      PS.
      Jessi the stupid show on Disney has everything wrong to how they talk about it to how Luke tried to find his birth mom at like age 12 just sayain...
      See what I did there

    • @dclarke2451
      @dclarke2451 8 років тому +28

      +Karmagician you know its not as simple as that....right? you cant just go "im gonna adopt now" there are many rules and regulations.

  • @maddiejo85
    @maddiejo85 8 років тому +11

    Very glad there are infertile women out there who have found peace with it. Thank you. I'm 31 and the only married female in the family without a child, not by choice. The women I have been close with are always saying how much they wished they'd never had children and how lucky I am to not have any. It's the most difficult environment to live in when you want a baby, but you're infertile. It has created a very bitter, jealous, angry, and incredibly depressing reaction in me when I hear or see anything related to babies. I'm happy for people on the outside, but inside I'm tormented. Yes, adoption is always available, but you need thousands of dollars up front. We don't have that, and I don't believe I could handle the constant heart break of fostering either.

    • @gbrieannful
      @gbrieannful 8 місяців тому

      Update? Did you eventually get pregnant or adopt?

  • @hannabehin1708
    @hannabehin1708 5 років тому +5

    My social studies teacher can’t have kids. It’s so sad because she would be the most amazing mother. She treats us like her kids, we are her life. One time somebody said “your such a mom” and her face lit up, she said that she had been wanting to be called mom her whole life, but it had never happened until then

  • @darkjewel6659
    @darkjewel6659 8 років тому +1497

    Bish, hold up! 3:24... She is 38 !???!? Bishh, I thought she was like 28 :')

  • @0puppies2cute0
    @0puppies2cute0 8 років тому +156

    The worst part is when you see your friends getting pregnant and having multiple children.

    • @davidlabelle361
      @davidlabelle361 8 років тому +23

      Yeah, getting pregnant BY ACCIDENT. Doesn't that just grind your gears?!

    • @MEME-gl4cu
      @MEME-gl4cu 5 років тому +7

      It is so hard. You want to be happy for them and you are but it is just a punch in the face reminder that you will never have one.

    • @MEME-gl4cu
      @MEME-gl4cu 5 років тому +1

      @하나님딸 I feel like it is getting better for me. I just turned 42 and I am dealing with it well. I still get my sad days but I try to focus on the positives such as being free to do anything I choose without the worrying about anyone else. I feel like I have almost made my peace with it. You have to try and do that or you will be unhappy forever. What helps me is that I work with children who are very ill and have so much to deal with. It humbles me and reminds me that life isn't always straightforward. These kids are always happy despite being in pain and having a short lifespan. It really is humbling.

  • @ellamore6426
    @ellamore6426 7 років тому +21

    my mom was in a really bad car wreck when she was 18 and was told she could never have kids, and yet me and my sister were born :) dont ever give up hope.

  • @michie43able
    @michie43able Рік тому +2

    9 years of surgeries and hormones and procedures, 6 invitro's and finally adopted my son. I still grieve. I will never get over the pain

  • @ItsMisfit
    @ItsMisfit 8 років тому +138

    Not wanting kids, and being someone who's getting a surgery to prevent that from happening; if I could, I'd give one of these women my uterus and be like here, use it, have kids!

    • @XxBroadwaygonnabexX
      @XxBroadwaygonnabexX 8 років тому +8

      +ItsMisfit I wish it were that easy, because it would amazing if it were

    • @lillgill156
      @lillgill156 8 років тому +4

      +ItsMisfit If only if it was that easy. T-T *crying internally

    • @sydneywalton101
      @sydneywalton101 8 років тому +6

      +ItsMisfit same dude. I want to adopt someday and have no interest in using my uterus. hopefully someday the technology will exist.

    • @JOhnJohnson-xg6sq
      @JOhnJohnson-xg6sq 8 років тому +12

      They're working on it. The first womb transplant baby was born last year!

  • @Crystal-lo1vf
    @Crystal-lo1vf 9 років тому +543

    that's upsetting. Hopefully I don't end up unable to have kids.

    • @diariodecaru
      @diariodecaru 9 років тому +27

      Not really nice to say that

    • @saramclean78
      @saramclean78 9 років тому +7

      How so?^

    • @justinchoe47
      @justinchoe47 9 років тому +10

      How's that not nice to say? He's showing sympathy towards them.

    • @Granz4
      @Granz4 9 років тому

      Sara McLean seems really selfish

    • @debeastdueeast
      @debeastdueeast 9 років тому +22

      Oli'sBox I guess it is selfish, but that's not bad. It's like saying "Damn bro, sorry to hear you have cancer. I'd be horrified myself if I developed such a disease."

  • @MrMongomoryST
    @MrMongomoryST 8 років тому +265

    yo, take my eggs. I ain't gonna use em

    • @madbandom
      @madbandom 8 років тому +7

      LOL. you got enough to share?

    • @animefan4058
      @animefan4058 8 років тому +7

      +Lai Wa we got millions of em, more than we will ever use take what you need.

    • @satinlover14
      @satinlover14 8 років тому +6

      egg donations can be VERY DANGEROUS. please please please look into it. they do not tell the women the full affect that donation will have on your body. your chances of ending up in the hospital ARE VERY HIGH after the procedure is complete. PLEASE BE INFORMED

    • @MrMongomoryST
      @MrMongomoryST 8 років тому +25

      satinlover14 I have done plenty of research on this. It's not your business what I do with my body anyways. Thanks for the concern.

    • @Karma-hy6ki
      @Karma-hy6ki 7 років тому +7

      +Anime Fan um sorry I cringed so hard. Women DO NOT HAVE MILLIONS OF THEM. They are anywhere from 400-600 for an average adult women with no problems

  • @jenscesur7390
    @jenscesur7390 3 роки тому +5

    "Think about all the motherly characters or influences in your life, not all of them gave birth to you." That was my favorite quote in this video

  • @kaeliannmarie7630
    @kaeliannmarie7630 9 років тому +847

    This is seriously one of my biggest fears 😕

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому +1

      Kaeli Lagerquist OMG what's wrong with people!!! You should not worry if you don't have any health problems. And if you are so worried see a doctor.

    • @kaeliannmarie7630
      @kaeliannmarie7630 9 років тому +7

      No.

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому

      Kaeli Lagerquist No?

    • @kaeliannmarie7630
      @kaeliannmarie7630 9 років тому +15

      Some people who are perfectly healthy cant have babies too, you know? Lolol

    • @XOXstarXwishXOX
      @XOXstarXwishXOX 9 років тому +24

      mean teen perfectly healthy people can have polycistic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis, small uteruses, ruptured fallopian tubes, any number of things that prevent them from having kids.
      How about you not be an insensitive dickbag and show a little respect for the people who actually can't have kids and feel like a waste of life because of it.

  • @phoebe9839
    @phoebe9839 8 років тому +23

    My mom couldn't have children, so she adopted me when I was a newborn. To us, it makes no difference that I'm adopted. We've always had the best mother-daughter relationship. Families are bonded by love, not blood.

  • @abigayleturvey6241
    @abigayleturvey6241 6 років тому +6

    Im 23 now, i cant have kids if i ever did it would be a miracle. I know im a lil young to have a child but knowing i never can makes it hard. Plus alll of the women i know are having kids. My fiance did to i feel im letting him down because Its my fault. I use to cry a lot.. When i found out i had to quit working at a daycare running the infant room, i would cry daily. everyday was a battle after i found out. Just the other day his friend who just had a baby asked when we would have kids letting him know we couldnt was hard to say, but even harder i think for him when he heard it, because i could tell he felt awkward and terrible like he might have hurt me and i would cry 😢. I kind of did... But this video helps it makes me see that one day it will be easier knowing that i cant and no matter what ill make it. Thank you buzzfeed.

  • @PhoenixRising87
    @PhoenixRising87 8 років тому +8

    I'd be relieved if I couldn't have children, but I understand how heart-breaking it can be for people who do want kids...

  • @randanice3635
    @randanice3635 9 років тому +156

    My mother died while she was giving birth to me , so that's why i'll never have kids

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому +27

      randa nice it's not a must to have kids

    • @julieg785
      @julieg785 9 років тому +140

      randa nice I think your mother will be proud If you have kids.. Just sayin, your choice

    • @bekkapfer6333
      @bekkapfer6333 9 років тому +20

      Things happen that we can never explain, but I can see how this would affect your view on child birth. I'm sorry for your loss

    • @graciekerr890
      @graciekerr890 9 років тому +16

      randa nice Do whatever feels right to you but I'm sure your mum will be proud of you no matter what. x

    • @jacquig4794
      @jacquig4794 9 років тому

      Gracie Kerr-Nicholson

  • @ashley3910
    @ashley3910 8 років тому +992

    I have hyper thyroid and pcos and am currently pregnant. :) Was told I never would have children.

    • @briellehall3805
      @briellehall3805 8 років тому +50

      Congrats. I hope it goes well for you😊

    • @jazzieloveorange
      @jazzieloveorange 8 років тому +3

      what kind of snake us that in your profile picture

    • @ashley3910
      @ashley3910 8 років тому +1

      +phanks før the memøries It's a ball python, and the morph is a mojave/pewter.

    • @ashley3910
      @ashley3910 8 років тому +13

      +Bree Hall Thanks! Me too!I was so worried in the beginning and this hasn't been an easy pregnancy, but I'm 18 weeks and strong. :)

    • @soniam603
      @soniam603 8 років тому +14

      I have the same thing, but I'm not worried at all. My friend who has PCOS even heard from her doctor that she is really fertile and have a bigger chance to have twins since she has so many eggs.

  • @fsmithh
    @fsmithh 5 років тому +16

    This is my worst nightmare..I can’t imagine a live without kids..I pray everyday that I will have kids and nothing will happen to me that might cause infertility 🙏🏾🙏🏾 That’s my only and biggest wish in live.. to be a mom

  • @channy5845
    @channy5845 7 років тому +1

    This is a tough subject that people just don't "get" until you're there. Thank you for sharing your stories on behalf of the ladies that have to go through this feeling alone, myself included.

  • @cornerstonemasonry299
    @cornerstonemasonry299 8 років тому +187

    My wife and I can't have children and at that time we both fell into depression. I wanted to be a father so bad and seeing all these teenage parents I started to really go downhill. I was so depressed I tried to hang myself but was found unconscious.
    We later got approved to adopt. After 8 months of classes and background check we were approved.
    2 days later we got a call for a new born boy. Rarely it happens this fast. My son is now 6 and he looks just like I did as a little boy. I'm glad I went through that hard time because I wouldn't trade him for anything.
    I know it's hard...I've been there. But don't give up.

    • @aminahnaliaka1089
      @aminahnaliaka1089 5 років тому

      I want to be a surrogate mum in Kenya please

    • @maireadhudson6523
      @maireadhudson6523 5 років тому +1

      cornerstone masonry this is so heartwarming

    • @Marinaglam2024
      @Marinaglam2024 4 роки тому +1

      cornerstone masonry always can adopt some people try to kill them selfs because of there kids it doesn’t mean everyone is happy it is really hard and stressful being a dad or mom not everyone wants to

  • @gomezdaperez
    @gomezdaperez 8 років тому +361

    I've always known I don't want to have children. I think it's because I knew my own childhood was wrong, and that myself and siblings were so neglected I knew I couldn't bring a child into the world. I don't want to pass on my mental illness to a child like my parents did to me. I didn't choose to be born but I can choose not to bring a child into my life.

    • @ximenacalderon326
      @ximenacalderon326 8 років тому +19

      Same here! I sort of want children, but at the same time I'm terrified of having them because I don't want to pass down my mental illness because I know what it's like to grow up with a mentally ill parent and having one yourself and I dont want that for my children. But then there are also chances I might not be able to have children anymore, I was told there might be something wrong with my ovaries because I had pitch black blood on my period and that I should go to a specialist, but I couldn't so there's that....

    • @tamisweetie
      @tamisweetie 8 років тому +5

      You said it perfectly. just how I feel as well. Xo

    • @nekomomolp
      @nekomomolp 8 років тому +6

      Same. I'm gonna adopt when I'm old enough!

    • @TXejas19
      @TXejas19 8 років тому +3

      same

    • @user-dt8hn9oh2y
      @user-dt8hn9oh2y 8 років тому +2

      *claps* that's beautiful *cries*

  • @coffycup75
    @coffycup75 6 років тому +2

    I had my son at 39 after years of trying and then just giving up. He was a total surprise after all the heartbreak. My heart goes out to these ladies. ♥️

  • @scout9120
    @scout9120 3 роки тому +6

    I found out today I can’t have kids... I’m so lost and heart broken.

    • @georgialengel
      @georgialengel 3 роки тому +2

      You will be ok❤

    • @autahassan143
      @autahassan143 2 роки тому

      Hey I know of a spell caster that can help you manifest children into your womb in less than 2weeks,he helped me my sis and my aunt. He can help you with twins or triplet,he is so powerful.🆗

    • @autahassan143
      @autahassan143 2 роки тому

      Message his what's app now👇👇

    • @autahassan143
      @autahassan143 2 роки тому

      +2349076164111✅⏮⏮✅

    • @autahassan143
      @autahassan143 2 роки тому

      +2349076164111✅⏮⏮✅

  • @Crystal-lo1vf
    @Crystal-lo1vf 9 років тому +625

    This is a serious video and it's upsetting that most of the comments are talking about being early...or what number comment you were.

    • @ThEsiLhOuEtT3
      @ThEsiLhOuEtT3 9 років тому +2

      Crystal I thought the same thing as I scrolled through the comments. Disappointing.

    • @LegoDaleks
      @LegoDaleks 9 років тому +5

      Crystal first reply!

    • @BornofIron
      @BornofIron 9 років тому +1

      Crystal It's the internet and typical UA-cam culture. This is why many content creators, as much as they enjoy commentary, don't really turn to UA-cam comments but rather sites away from here or other social media applications.

    • @ThEsiLhOuEtT3
      @ThEsiLhOuEtT3 9 років тому

      Atomic Rebellion I'm sort of glad...I wouldnt want them to see these comments anyway

    • @superfamous8296
      @superfamous8296 9 років тому +1

      Crystal Under 5,000 views club. We have snacks. :+)

  • @alymillane8514
    @alymillane8514 8 років тому +313

    I'm 15 and I can't have kids. The hardest part will be figuring out when to tell my future husband or boyfriend

    • @PinayBeautyandStyle
      @PinayBeautyandStyle 8 років тому +24

      +Aly Millane let them know early on so if they can't accept that it won't hurt as bad

    • @weabootrash9687
      @weabootrash9687 8 років тому

      How can you tell?

    • @alymillane8514
      @alymillane8514 8 років тому +18

      +WeabooTrash my mom made me go to the doctors after never starting the menstrual cycle which was unusual for my family genes (they got it very young). They said I have advanced amenorrhea-which sometimes causes infertility as it has for me.

    • @weabootrash9687
      @weabootrash9687 8 років тому +1

      Aly Millane Well,than i'm really sorry for you and hope the best for your future.

    • @simrangill3693
      @simrangill3693 8 років тому +4

      i have the same condition

  • @andrearoberts6518
    @andrearoberts6518 5 років тому +3

    I was told I was infertile when I was 15 and it was unexplained why. So I grew up believing I would never get pregnant. Here I am, 6 months pregnant after 9 months of “trying” per se. women’s bodies are miracles. Don’t ever give up hope ❤️

    • @JameyLeanneCooper
      @JameyLeanneCooper 5 років тому +1

      Andrea Roberts well some people aren’t that lucky

  • @tamannasharma4855
    @tamannasharma4855 7 років тому +1

    Thank you. oh my goodness thank you so much for this video. God knows how badly i needed some reassurance and strength after being diagnosed with premature ovarian failure then facing the hard fact that i am also ineligible for IVF. I know life goes on but sometimes things are too hard to not stop your life. Being someone who loves kids broke my heart knowing I can never have my own; but ladies, your words gave me so much strength.
    thank you

  • @yellowgirlemoji8857
    @yellowgirlemoji8857 8 років тому +211

    WOAH SHE'S 38

  • @saintscholar4035
    @saintscholar4035 9 років тому +299

    For being 38 yrs old she looks good.

    • @Flowdaboyz
      @Flowdaboyz 9 років тому +23

      Asian are bless.

    • @nidaaa9260
      @nidaaa9260 9 років тому +18

      I was just about to comment this! She looks amazing for 38!!

    • @WorldoftheNebulous
      @WorldoftheNebulous 9 років тому

      Lookin great at 38!

    • @goatmonkey2112
      @goatmonkey2112 9 років тому +14

      Maybe it's stating the obvious, but one of the reasons she looks good... she has never had kids.

  • @amberthiessen95
    @amberthiessen95 7 років тому +6

    I'm a teen and I found out I can't have kids when I was really little so seeing this video really makes me feel empowered!! Thank you

  • @courtneypaul4346
    @courtneypaul4346 7 років тому

    I am lucky I have a daughter but I don't think I appreciated just how truly lucky I am and was. This has made me so thankful and greatful of all the people out there who are surrogates and run adoptive services. Your parents are the ones who hold your hand when you're scared, take care of you when you're sick, pick you up when you fall and shout with happiness at your victories. You are not a parent by simply giving birth you have to love them with all of your heart! You are a parent by loving them so much they could travel the world and know you are thinking of them back home! This video had me so emotional xxx

  • @bubbleonfire6488
    @bubbleonfire6488 8 років тому +54

    I was diagnosed with severe PCOS last year, and I had to get a surgery to have the cysts removed. There was a tiny mistake, and now I'm permanently infertile at 15. I always wanted to adopt, because I was adopted, but the knowledge that not having children is no longer a choice, and is now mandatory is saddening. It was always my decision not to have children, but now, it's the only decision.

    • @christinelovesyouX
      @christinelovesyouX 6 років тому +1

      I dont believe that for a second, please get a second opinion, please, please, please. I have pcos and me and hundreds of other women are too. I know you said a mistake was made but what was it?

    • @princesslulu5795
      @princesslulu5795 6 років тому

      BubbleOnFire I'm so sorry 😢 I agree with the other person to get a second opinion. My best friends mother in law also has severe pcos, they told her hers was so bad she'd never be able to have children, and she has three (two sons, and a daughter who also has pcos).

    • @abbyc6359
      @abbyc6359 6 років тому

      Girlll same. I was also in high school when I found out but I wanted to adopt anyway. What hurt the most is that I no longer had the option and I now will have to have a very difficult make or break discussion with my future partner. I think a lot of people don’t understand that for some of us it’s not even about actually birthing a child

    • @princesslulu5795
      @princesslulu5795 6 років тому

      I also found out I have pcos a few months ago. I worry about stuff like this all the time

    • @JameyLeanneCooper
      @JameyLeanneCooper 5 років тому

      PrincessLuLu I found out I have it last Monday and people are saying look at these people like someone in my family has it and my mum said look at how many kids she’s got she has 4 kids but I’m like well I’m not like them anything could happen to me

  • @mirandasimgirl4135
    @mirandasimgirl4135 8 років тому +112

    She's 38?! I thought she was like 20 ...

  • @prettylilmuma
    @prettylilmuma 8 років тому +1

    This video made me so sad. I'm watching it as my newborn baby lays asleep on my chest, I am so grateful. I could not imagine how devastating it would be to not be able to have children. So sorry to the people that cannot.

  • @Helena96
    @Helena96 7 років тому +24

    I have an 11 week old baby in my belly. After watching this, I know that I'm very lucky.

  • @josiewilliams4457
    @josiewilliams4457 8 років тому +110

    The Asian lady is sooooo pretty

  • @jillstewart8698
    @jillstewart8698 8 років тому +420

    One of the hardest things about infertility is going on all over this thread. Everyone tries to "fix" it for you.
    Infertility and the emotions it causes are not something that can be fixed with an adoption. Adoption does not change the ability of someone to have their own biological child. Nor does it make it less noble.
    When that is taken from you, you question faith, your body, your womanhood. You get angry, depressed and frustrated. If you have a period it's a reminder your body doesn't work, if you don't have one...the same. Constant reminders that your body can't do something that plenty of morons manage to do every day.
    You find ways to cope, like telling yourself your brother will have kids...until he and his wife can't either. Then you look at your family tree and know that when you die, a whole branch of your family tree dies too. You're it, the last of a line of generations and your body failed.
    That's infertility.

    • @jillstewart8698
      @jillstewart8698 8 років тому +30

      Jennifer Wells I see you completely missed the part that says adoption is NOT LESS NOBLE than having a biological child. You still have to deal with how infertility makes you FEEL regardless of whether or not you adopt. While adopting is a solution to RAISING a CHILD it is NOT a solution to INFERTILITY.
      I am going to tell you this as kindly as possible. You don't "get that it's a major shock and disappointment".. You don't. Period.
      If you want to TRY and understand, (I hope this link will work.) you can read any of these articles below and see how different women deal with infertility. I hope you do. I hope you can look past your own defenses and try to understand why it's insulting and hurtful for people to thoughtlessly throw out phrases like "Well, just go adopt", as if it's a process like going to the local pound for a puppy.
      You can also research the adoption process and costs associated with it. Average American adoptions through an agency run upwards of $20k and international adoptions are upwards of $50k. You can read the horror stories, and the carefree joyous stories as well.
      Good luck to you.
      www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1GIWA_enUS658US658&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=stories%20about%20infertility%20effecting%20women

    • @nicolette100
      @nicolette100 8 років тому +25

      Thank you. I have had 3 miscarriages. No one knows just how hard it is, to want to have a family of your own and like you said, every time it's that time of the month you fear it. You're scared if it comes because that means most likely you're not pregnant and if you don't get it you're wondering will it come later and if it doesn't come and you are pregnant, will this one be the same just like the rest. I've been dealing with this for 18 YEARS. There really is no coping, just more of an inner cry each day.
      Adoption is not always an option. Adoption laws are different from, state to state, then also on the federal and if you go the other route international level.

    • @melissaa4168
      @melissaa4168 8 років тому +9

      Jill..I honestly couldn't of said it any better, thank you.

    • @MargieC69
      @MargieC69 8 років тому +18

      Very well said and one of the best comments on here. It's not always about what you can't have (in most cases a biological child), but about the plethora of other things it takes from you, like the things you stated (faith in your body, your womanhood and your faith in general).

    • @jillstewart8698
      @jillstewart8698 8 років тому +13

      Tea Time In order to respond to what is clearly ignorance on your part, I will give you this advice. If you don't know what to say when someone tells you they have fertility problems, the correct answer is simple. "I'm so sorry you're going through that. If you need an ear, I am here for you." When you mature a little perhaps you will understand that advice.

  • @kaylaackerman3671
    @kaylaackerman3671 7 років тому +1

    This is absolutely spot on. Definitely hit home I love this video. Being someone who also cannot have children.

  • @missxmarvel
    @missxmarvel 8 років тому +47

    I'll never find my soulmate. All the dudes want a Baby in the future but I don't want any. You are forced to give up everything because It's a "Woman's job" Screw that I enjoy a good nap without being bothered.

    • @stewartfamily5222
      @stewartfamily5222 8 років тому +8

      HAHA Amen. I feel that maybe one day a guy might want to date you but not have any children. But I feel ya

    • @missxmarvel
      @missxmarvel 8 років тому +3

      Stewart Family So far I never met one, The creepy part is most of them want one as soon as they can.

    • @saffiegirl4158
      @saffiegirl4158 8 років тому +10

      I have four kids. They are the four most beautiful children residing on this planet and I adore them. Having said that, NEVER allow a man to tell you it is your job to reproduce. It is your job to enjoy your life to the fullest, and if that means kids are out of the question, stick with that. Each person has to live their lives the way they want; that is my firm belief. Just because a woman can have a child doesn't mean they are locked into a commitment to do it.

    • @missxmarvel
      @missxmarvel 8 років тому +5

      saffie girl Thank you, It's just that alot of dudes want to have kids but they don't want to be a fulltime father which is very disgraceful to do to the mother.

    • @isaaclooper4260
      @isaaclooper4260 7 років тому

      I would be with you Emma. I would love you know matter what if you can't have kids.

  • @PhoebeHubbard
    @PhoebeHubbard 8 років тому +824

    This is literally my biggest fear

  • @superninjafluff
    @superninjafluff 8 років тому +71

    I know that saying "just adopt" may come off as inconsiderate so I won't say "just adopt", I'll say more than that. Finding out that you cannot have children must be heart-wrenching. It is something that you would grief like the loss of a loved one. If you really want children still, then you consider adoption. It's not "just adopting", it's creating a bond with a child who needs love. You are taking that love that you have and giving it to YOUR child. When you adopt, it is YOUR CHILD! They become your baby

    • @nellieveber7738
      @nellieveber7738 8 років тому +3

      Mic drop 🎤

    • @AutumnCheyenneTV
      @AutumnCheyenneTV 8 років тому +16

      adoption is extremely expensive, and it takes alottt of time. the process is extremely difficult and not everyone can adopt.

    • @tamil9131
      @tamil9131 8 років тому +9

      +lmac People also don't understand the emotional state most of us are in by the time "just adopt" gets put on the table.
      Many of us simply aren't in a good head space and able to give a (usually) older child the emotional support they need to thrive.

    • @hollymagee2300
      @hollymagee2300 8 років тому +2

      Some people are refused to be able to adopt, it is not that simple.

    • @princesslulu5795
      @princesslulu5795 6 років тому +1

      Autumn Wharton you'd be surprised what can get someone denied for adoption. If you've had criminal convictions, drug/alcohol problems, mental illness etc you might be denied even if you can demonstrate proof you have successfully sought treatment and have had no problems in years. A UA-camr who's struggled for a while to have a baby, Channon Rose, has said she's unlikely to be approved for adoption because of her past (she had some drug problems& mental health issues when she was younger and worked in the adult film industry which many agencies esp private ones tend to be wary of)

  • @chelseasugar3824
    @chelseasugar3824 7 років тому +1

    Watching this gives me such a heavy heart. I know exactly how these women feel. I tried for 4 years and was told by a doctor 'the likelihood of it happening is very low i must admit'. I went through 7 rounds of clomid and the last round worked and now my 7 month old son max is asleep in the next room. I will never forget just how scary low it got over those years. If anyone is struggling to conceive just remember that sometimes the doctors arent always right. Have faith and i wish you all the luck and happiness in the world

  • @Clover-vs4no
    @Clover-vs4no 8 років тому

    so sorry to you three :-( Thanks for sharing your stories! and to all other suffering from infertility I hope you find the strength to cope, it is a really sad and lonely thing to experience when so badly want to be a mother. I have PCOS and it took 2 years but I did finally get pregnant with my miracle daughter. Now she is 19 months old and I hope so badly to one day give her a sibling. Good luck to everyone!

  • @souravdutta5703
    @souravdutta5703 9 років тому +274

    adopt one....

    • @alligrace395
      @alligrace395 9 років тому +10

      Research adoption. It is super super super expensive.

    • @ehehehblah
      @ehehehblah 9 років тому +59

      Allison Edwards And having and raising a child is cheap?

    • @rikumajumder1558
      @rikumajumder1558 9 років тому +17

      ehehehblah Having child of your own and adopting has the same cost but it's the process through which you have to adopt that's expensive. It's very very time consuming and costly and you need to convince your State you aren't some psycho through very strict processes. So that's why adopting is more expensive...

    • @Largestina
      @Largestina 9 років тому +9

      Sourav Dutta adoption can be super difficult, waiting lists can be 10+ years long.

    • @7jarissapureen
      @7jarissapureen 9 років тому +6

      Clearly you dont understand how expensive it is to adopt a child

  • @NasikaSakura
    @NasikaSakura 8 років тому +40

    To those people saying to "just adopt" and it's "no big deal," it very much is!
    Perhaps not to you, but it's still valid and okay to be heartbroken to not be able to have your own flesh-and-blood child.
    You don't get the opportunity to experience the pregnancy nor birth yourself. (That's what really kills me.) Many people had dreampt about having their own biological children since they themselves were children, and many want it with every ounce of their being, so to get a diagnosis like this is unbearable to plenty. The desire to have your own child isn't just magically cured when you adopt (think of a mourning process), and adopting for the sake of trying to make that desire disappear is not fair to you nor the child. As un-idealistic it is, not everyone is capable of fully accepting and loving an adopted child, and it is important to know which is true of yourself before taking that step. You should adopt when you know you already have an open heart for the adopted child and the strength to get through the adoption process that will almost indefinitely cost tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket (whereas having your own child is largely, if not entirely, covered by medical insurance) on top of the usual material preparations, and may take over 5 years from filing without any certainty rather than 9-ish straightforward months from conception! Adoption isn't over the moment you take the child home either. You have to get to know the child and they you, like mothers to newborn babies, BUT this gets increasingly difficult the older the child is due to their previous life experiences that are out of your control which may make them reject you, act out against anyone around them, or even try to harm themselves. This, all on top of being a new parent. You have to have the strength, love, and willpower to get through this. We're very much aware of other options of parenthood aside from our own births, but no matter what is said about love, that does not change the fact that adoption (as well as surrogacy, fostering, etc.) and biological birth are very different experiences. That is what is being mourned.

    • @andrewhart27
      @andrewhart27 8 років тому +2

      Your the problem would you rather experience birth and be selfish or adopt a child with no family and give them a good chance in people like u disgust me

    • @beauryan8312
      @beauryan8312 8 років тому +10

      +AndroidRoo ! May I ask why she disgusts you, in many ways you might disgust her with that statement. Many people want biological children and if they get robbed of that capability then that is just a void in themselves that cannot be fixed, not by adoption but only by a child that they have bore themselves, that they have grown and nurtured and a child that they can call their own. An adopted child will ask questions later in life about where their real parents are because the human thing to do is to tell that baby it's adopted wether you brought it up since birth or not so that may put them off that because that's like being hit in the face with a huge sign saying "YOURE NOT MY MUM" or something along those lines. So please could you just get educated before making a statement like that because in fact, you disgust me

    • @NasikaSakura
      @NasikaSakura 8 років тому +7

      AndroidRoo !
      Thank you for the insult, but I find it foolish and selfish to adopt a child if you are trying to replace a hypothetical biological child, rather than being fully able to openly love the adopted child for who and what they are. That person is not ready to love that adopted child, so that child will not be properly loved. They deserve the chance to be with someone who can properly love them instead of trying to fit them into the mold of a biological child that they aren't. I would never accept a child knowing that I do not yet have the capacity to give them the love that they deserve. They need the chance for real love in life, and I know that at this point of mourning my infertility, I am not the one who can provide them with that, despite how much I want a child. If I were to adopt as of right now, that is what would be selfish.

    • @andrewhart27
      @andrewhart27 8 років тому +2

      +Beau Ryan if you raise a child it will love. it may wanto know of the real parents but what wrong with that. People like you would just live in the fear of replacement even though the bond would be irreplaceable

    • @andrewhart27
      @andrewhart27 8 років тому +1

      +AndroidRoo ! That

  • @keili777
    @keili777 7 років тому +1

    my mum was told she couldn't have kids, but she blew their minds. she had me.

  • @spagetd1526
    @spagetd1526 2 роки тому +5

    reading the comments, yes, adopting exists and it’s a wonderful, amazing thing that helps so many people. but, that doesn’t mean people can’t grieve at not having the ability to have biological children. usually that’s the first thing people think of when they think of future kids, and when you realize you can’t have biological children its heartbreaking especially knowing they can’t experience pregnancy if that’s something they wanted. it’s something they imagined and wanted they’re allowed to be sad about it. yes, they have other options but that doesn’t make not being able to conceive less painful for some

  • @faithfirstfitness
    @faithfirstfitness 8 років тому +58

    I'm so sorry for you. My aunty has fibromyalgia and couldn't have children. She was best friends to my mum and her friends kids were like hers in a way and I'm glad she was in the delivery room when I was born so she experienced somewhat what she missed out on. When I hear of people who abort their babies and don't want children and I see cases where people want them so desperately like my aunty who tried for like almost 10 years it breaks my heart.

    • @iseesMoonlight1
      @iseesMoonlight1 8 років тому +14

      your aunty could have always adopted, it's not the same but it's close enough. people who get abortions have reasons to do so, not often because they are just like "eh I don't want kids much"

    • @minnevandennoortgate6371
      @minnevandennoortgate6371 8 років тому +8

      fibromyalgia is never a cause of infertility, not to be bratty, but medically it isn't.
      Maybe it were some secondary things, but fibromyalgia is chronic widespread pain, not a internal/hormonal/immunological situation.

    • @RachelleAshmanWells
      @RachelleAshmanWells 8 років тому +3

      +Minne Van Den Noortgate Maybe she meant she couldn't have kids in terms of, this woman believed because of the consequences of her illness, she couldn't care for children?

    • @rachelurban8455
      @rachelurban8455 8 років тому +1

      My mother had fibro and had me and my brothers

    • @faithfirstfitness
      @faithfirstfitness 8 років тому +1

      My aunty has other medical reasons why she was unable to conceive not solely fibro. And in Australia it is foster to adoption, so even if you look after a baby from infancy that child can still be taken away back to it's original family or ties to it's original family even if it may not be the best thing for the child...

  • @vivianjames357
    @vivianjames357 9 років тому +274

    woah I didnt fucking come here for feels
    god damn it buzzfeed

  • @iambecks8874
    @iambecks8874 4 роки тому

    This video makes me feel less alone.. thank you. After years of trying, 2 ectopics and 2 miscarriages and now I'm 40, I'm starting to feel like it won't happen. I'm having a hycosy scan next week to find out if my one remaining tube is blocked. Anyway, I found comfort in this video and will watch it a lot. Thank you for sharing, you brave beautiful ladies xxx

  • @bt22445
    @bt22445 6 років тому +1

    This made me cry 😭 This is so sad and such a beautiful message

  • @btul2569
    @btul2569 8 років тому +27

    "we have so much more going for us than just producing children"

    • @liciabrooks3673
      @liciabrooks3673 4 роки тому

      Like?

    • @she5139
      @she5139 4 роки тому +2

      Its not about that some women want to have kids telling them this would be insensitive

    • @aragornsonofarathorn2170
      @aragornsonofarathorn2170 4 роки тому +2

      @@liciabrooks3673 ok I guess men have nothing else going for them except for impregnating women

  • @Blueleaf11
    @Blueleaf11 8 років тому +335

    This is a good video but I really wish they would have included a male perspective. Men live with infertility too and they have to suffer with the same pain as these women. Most of them can't even talk about it because in our society men have to always act tough and not show emotions. Infertile men typically suffer in silence.

    • @kaylaflava
      @kaylaflava 8 років тому +36

      +Beth G. This is very true. I think maybe they focused on women in this video because in society it seems like ALL women are expected to get pregnant and start families. There is so much pressure put on us to be mothers which can make the news that we can't have kids can make us feel like failures as women. Not that men don't feel devestated with the news either, but it is a little different. Not worse, just different.

    • @gabbyschneider7686
      @gabbyschneider7686 8 років тому +10

      +kaylaflava my father was infertile but he had myself and my sister. We are miracle babies

    • @SuperPrincessLauren
      @SuperPrincessLauren 8 років тому +6

      +Goo poo your mom is sticking to that story, eh?! xD

    • @knocknockify
      @knocknockify 8 років тому

      +SuperPrincessLauren lolol

    • @gabbyschneider7686
      @gabbyschneider7686 8 років тому +2

      SuperPrincessLauren yeah my dad was infertile and they wanted children. trust me both my sister and i look like our parents

  • @vonta.j8227
    @vonta.j8227 7 років тому +2

    Growing up I didn't think I wanted kids, and now I'm in my mid 20s and recently learned that I can't have kids has been a very depressing truth. I just wanted the choice and now I realize I don't have that. Idk, maybe I'm just a little too emotional about this subject.😞💔

  • @oliviaboyer6494
    @oliviaboyer6494 6 років тому

    This video is beautiful. Going through exactly what the lady in blue has and it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

  • @EmilySchaePatterson
    @EmilySchaePatterson 9 років тому +9

    I don't know how I would function knowing I couldn't have children. Jut the feeling knowing that you and many other women in the world aren't able to create beautiful new life into this world. It's heartbreaking.

  • @switchbladekittykat
    @switchbladekittykat 9 років тому +46

    38?!?! I thought she was around 25!.... Why does that make me angry???

    • @someonesomewhere9746
      @someonesomewhere9746 9 років тому +1

      switchbladekittykat cuz mirror

    • @switchbladekittykat
      @switchbladekittykat 9 років тому +4

      Lol.......yeah... (Sigh)

    • @tallmommy
      @tallmommy 9 років тому +1

      switchbladekittykat asian aging problems :P

    • @user-ln6pu7kq9j
      @user-ln6pu7kq9j 9 років тому

      switchbladekittykat Asians age so well don't they! I was shocked too haha

  • @SunriseViewer
    @SunriseViewer 5 років тому

    I watched this video a few years ago, actually. I remember thinking it was very powerful. Now, my husband and I are struggling to conceive and the video gained a whole new impact. Thanks for opening up about your health issues.

  • @andreaxx6
    @andreaxx6 6 років тому

    I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis and hypothyroidism, and PCOS. Similar to the woman in the blue blouse. This video has always resonated with me. I'm very glad that Buzzfeed made this, and similar videos about topics that can be hard to talk about, but affect many of us. It really helps to feel not so alone.