Is It Selfish To NOT Want Children?
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- Опубліковано 26 тра 2023
- Our generation is waiting longer and longer to have children. Many don't want kids ever. This is different than previous generations. Let's talk about it.
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Why is this even a question? No, it's not selfish. Why would we want people who don't want kids to have them anyway and make those children's lives miserable?
True
While true, there is the counter point of the simple fact that you sacrifice a lot when you do have children and that requires you to shed the selfish childhood prior to becoming a family leader.
If I might suggest, having children is an honor and it is also important to the development of a human. The culture of avoiding having children is a symptom of the immature adult mindset our society has. Children provide a reason to do better, to make wiser decisions- to encourage immature people to continue to avoid the responsibility of children is not a solution. Additionally, no one is ever truly prepared for a newborn- having one forces people into the next stage of adulthood and brings a new mindset and perspective. I get that just saying "have a baby" is not a solution either, but we should change the culture by celebrating motherhood and fatherhood, promote family values, and encourage youth towards wanting strong families.
Heres rhe thing so many people dont want them and we are facing population collapse. 0:01
This question is asked to shame and control
It’s worse to have children if you don’t want them tbh
Exactly
You're a teenager so you have time to mature and change your mind after you learn more.
@@oliviameyers5351take no notice he doesn’t get it
@Olivia Meyers give yourself a few years. My dad said the same thing when he was younger and ended up having two kids by choice.
Exactly this
Realizing that you aren't equipped to take care of kids BEFORE you have them is the most responsible thing a person can do.
"realizing you aren't equipped to take care of kids while continuing to be unequipped to take care of kids is actually responsible guys"
topsy turvy world
@@newglof9558 dir
@@newglof9558 This is the definition of "Don't want a tattoo? Train yourself to want one, so that you can _get_ a tattoo!"
(Not comparing kids to tattoos, obviously.)
Stupid comment @@stuckatthevalley
I'm glad there's ppl like OP here aswell as the usual stupids with 10 kids and counting
People always say every kid deserves a parent but not ever parent deserves a kid so why push kids on people who doesn't want them
The adoption agencies are FULL of broken kids. If you're an 'amazing' person/couple and you 'need' a child... why not rescue one???
#ZenAndTheArtOfSavingLifeOnEarth #MyFREENovelOnUA-cam
I'm adopted myself and both of my parents were schizophrenic. Thankfully I dodged that bullet by being raised in a good adoptive family.
@@Neil_MALTHUSI don't understand the obsession people have with passing on their genes. Odds are their genes are subpar or even worse than the person next to them. 😅 Sound selfish.
As an adopted person, I very much take offense to the guy who said that he would like to adopt just so he could return it if he doesn't like it. You can not return an adopted child. They become your family from that moment on. They are yours forever. I am so glad that my adoptive parents didn't think like that guy. That's awful.
It is only what is unnatural and hence antichrist that is being promoted. God adopts us into His family, forever. Satan is trying to steal via an inhuman beast race. Digital man. Transhumanism. Bodies are vessels for temples. Know what the . Enemy is after. Blessings.
My jaw literally dropped when he said that. Adopting or fostering a child is not a game. It's a commitment you've made to the child to take them as your own. I'm glad you're parents are great parents! 😊
You haven't read about the Russian orphans being sent back by their western adopting parents because they are totally psychotic, have you?
Apparently these orphanages abuse them greatly yet hide it so unsuspecting suckers don't realize they are getting seriously damaged goods.
Can't blame them too much though for doing what they can to rid themselves of mental cases who otherwise ain't flying off the shelves anytime soon...
😮 I didn’t hear him say that I need to rewind the video that’s just awful
I'm adopted too, and yeah he's a scumbag. I was only threatened ONCE to be disowned and sent back to China. Love my dad but I still hate he said that to me when I was 17...
If someone doesn't want kids, that's okay and it's probably best for the child. If a kid is unwanted, that'll be absolute hell for them.
How true..Thats what some idiots cant figure out..Why would you have something you dont want..Cuz its not fair to the child..and on the inside the parent will always resent the unwanted child..
@@andynorvell4953 No one is arguing people should have kids when they don't want to. They are arguing that you should want to have kids. It is possible to decide what you want after all.
@@viperstriker4728 Not really.
I swear to god you and these other DF's
@@thedog5k I have the ability to decide what I like. I have done it multiple times and it has improved my life.
If not being a slave to my emotions makes me a DF, then so be it.
yes, if someone doesnt want kids, its probably best for the adult. if an adult is forced to take care of a kid, all of the adults potential gets wasted away. it will be hard for the adult to grow old and have actual accomplishments. and no, having a kid alone is not an accomplishment.
Some of the most selfish and narcissistic people I have ever met were parents.
Right?
You can say that again.
Okay? What’s your point? Are you suggesting that’s it’s the children that made em that way? Or rather that they had kids BECAUSE they were narcissistic?
@@italkgory99 i think they mean that some parent, NOT ALL OF THEM
Are better off without children
@@italkgory99My point is that having kids doesn't necessarily improve you as a person. It isn't the kids fault.
Dog, the human race is massive. A baby is born every day. A child is conceived everyday. Someone’s birthday is everyday. The human race will go on.
We’re supposed to live our own lives. Women have especially fought for that choice. People shouldn’t be judged if they don’t want to extend their bloodline. That’s their choice.
Good
It is not selfish to not have kids. It is selfish to bring kids into the world then don’t care for them properly.
If you choose not to have kids because you just want to sit on your butt and play video games or do things only for yourself, yeah it’s pretty selfish
@@bowserjr.3212 no it’s not. If the kid already exist but I refuse to provide for them because I just want to do things for myself, that’s selfish. If that kid that I need to provide for doesn’t exist in the first place, that’s a crisis averted, bullet dodged, preemptive problem solved. Nobody ever own anyone a kid.
@@Jacky-zt5ch living a life only for yourself is pretty selfish by definition
@@bowserjr.3212 Amd whats wrong with being selfish exactly? For a life that doesnt even exist namely😒.
@@DevinaMori “what’s wrong with being selfish?” I think that’s a question you need to ponder
I think the selfish ones are the people who don't really *want* children, but have them anyway because they feel like it's what they're "supposed to do".
Yes! or to just use them as a social media accessory (I know someone like this)
Most people don't know what they are getting into when they become parents and they largely hear about the costs but not the joy.
If somebody is maybe 50/50 beforehand, they are typically all in after the child is born.
Absolutely
Totally. Having a child, no matter what Bret said, IS NOT inherently selfless.
Or people who pressure people who don't want them because "they will want them after they have them" just let the people live how they want !!
As much as I love Brett, I don’t think she’s gonna be changing anyone’s mind about children. The harping about how people won’t “make sacrifices” to have children is exactly the kind of talk that made me swear off children in the past. People have valid reasons for not wanting kids and she is not taking their opinions or concerns seriously.
Exactly also she’s being hypocritical because she doesn’t have kids right now either. If she’s that desperate for people to have kids then she should go and have some herself but she is making the decision to currently not have kids and I would assume it’s for “Selfish” reasons whatever “Selfish” means. So yeah I do think people who are childless who criticise other people for not wanting kids are massive hypocrites and at the end of the day people need to make the decisions for what’s best for themselves
@@jorgeandrade783 she got engaged a month and a half ago it was probably waiting for the right person
This is a woman?????
He looks like Dylan Mulvaney's cousin.
Some people use children as a status symbol, some thing to show off . In fact some of the most selfish people I know have children . The children are nothing but an extension of themselves.
@@2009jadeorchid how is this relevant? are you sush a person?
36 yr old father here with a 3.5 yr old daughter. My parents had me when they were 30. Growing up they told me that waiting until that time allowed them to learn and live life so that when they had us, they could devote the next 20 years fully to raising us. I had my daughter at 32 and I cannot imagine how badly I would have done if I had my daughter in my 20's. I was changing work industries, dating complications, family responsibilities. In my 30's, we are stable and have good social circles to help guide us and our daughter.
🫶 perfect example of someone who wants and it’s prepare for children
Kudos to you.
I've seen people be called selfish if they don't want to get married, if they don't want kids, if they don't want more than one kid, if they have too many kids, or if they don't want pets. You'll be called selfish no matter what you do. Just do what works for you.
It’s annoying and frustrating. Maybe some people just don’t have the patience and maturity and mindset to want to raise a child or just want be single or just want a spouse to talk to .it doesn’t really bother me what people want to do with their life
My mother in law is Indian, she was shamed for being “too modern” because she had “only” 2 kids.
Do what is right. Doing what works for you is what is destroying civilization.
Don't do "what works for you." Do what is right.
I was literally bashed repeatedly, called selfish and a terrible person by someone in this comments section for stating why I don't want children. You can't win, friends. At this point I'm just be a good person and do the best I can.
You wanna know what actually is selfish?
Calling someone selfish for not wanting to bring a life into the world when that person CLEARLY states they don't have the capabilities or interest in caring for another human being.
You're trying to guilt trip a group of people into having kids when they don't want them and then going "oops your struggling mentally/financially with being a parent, welp thats not my problem, ~goodbye~".
It sounds like conservatives want broken homes and messed up childhoods rather than loving families.
Agreed, she seems really ignorant
@@fluffylonjini5486 right?! Like she says she's not bashing those who don't want to have kids then proceed to bash every reason stated and literally say they're selfish
I agree with this. It’s extremely selfish to project your own beliefs onto others. Sad part is that many people fall for this. People around them successfully manipulate them into unwanted parenthood. These people claim how selfless it is to have a kid, but when the person that was reluctant about it but proceed to have a kid anyways because “it’s a selfless and right thing to do” and come to find that this is the worst decision they’ve made and are now stuck with being a parent, leading to misery which can drive some people suicidal (and no, I’m not making this shit up). But where the fuck are those so called “selfless” people now? Exactly, most of the time they’re nowhere to be seen. The new parent is now completely on their own.
It’s fine if someone realizes they aren’t in a position in life to have kids at the moment, the real issue is the lack of maturity and responsibility and the utter selfishness in some of those people. I don’t want to be around anyone who is so selfish they say things like, “I don’t want to have kids - I just want to spend money only on me and go out and party whenever”. They need to realize there is more to life than that.
@@DogsandCats-gk8pb Exactly. Some people just aren’t ready to have kids and if they don’t want to then that’s their business. You can’t just call someone selfish if they aren’t mentally or financially stable. Also, mothers don’t get to have much time to themselves or with friends so I see why some people just wanted to have fun while they could. I’m not saying motherhood isn’t fun, but it still can be stressful.
No, it's not selfish. Some people just aren't ready, emotionally or financially. Some people make the conscious decision not to have kids because they're not ready and they don't want to be a burden on their families or society. I think it's good for some people to wait or not have kids at all. There are plenty of people who probably should have waited...you know what I mean...we've all seen them 😂😂😂
she's not saying not having kids is selfish, she's saying hating kids (or people who have kids) is wrong.
I definitely don't agree with people needing to 'take responsibility' because they don't want children and want to focus on themselves. As a paediatric nurse, I see far too many children end up in care because of their social circumstance. Telling people that they should have children when they aren't ready, or even financially sufficient is really negligent. In this day and age as well you have to have a decent amount of money to raise children and give them a good life.
To be honest, I am of the opinion that I am more than my biology, I have hopes and dreams beyond the traditional family unit. That isn't something to disparage, everyone walks a different path in this life.
Having or not having children has nothing to do with being selfish or unselfish. Framing it that way is overly simplistic.
If you can't afford to home school, then IMHO it's selfish to want children. But if you can afford to home school, then it's not selfish to either want children or not want them.
@@SingleTax amen to that!
They don’t want kids, but they *want* kids.
@@SingleTaxjust homeschool is the best way to brainwash kids
tbf most of the reasons ppl listen for not wanting kids WAS selfish
Have kids, don't have kids, but we should all stop telling other people to do either.
Not having kids is not inherently selfish and having kids is not inherently unselfish.
EXACTLY. the fact that this is even an argument is crazy. it’s really just as simple as that
Glad to see that I am not the only one with such world view
100%
How is not wanting to also love, care and educate, like oneself was when their parents had him/her, not selfish?
The main reason for childness is exactly wanting to have different personal experiences, choosing to opt out on the family experience. ME ME ME!!
@@joaoc_PT because not everyone is cut out to be a parent and there are people who would rather do something else with their lives and that’s not a bad thing. One can still be a selfless person and live a fulfilled life without children. And some people decide to take care of their parents when they are older instead of dropping them off at nursing homes like most people. Having a child is not inherently selfless and not having one is not inherently selfish.
Brett, I think you need to understand that the vast majority of people aren’t as fortunate as you are. You have it good right now, especially for your age. All you really need at this point is a guy to help you with that journey of parenthood. Most of us can barely take care of ourselves in this economy and we simply can’t afford to even have partners let alone children with them.
FR. I can't even take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of a kid
blame republicans and democrats bickering
What america needs is to balkanize both of the parties into tons of little ones
Yes. This take is rather out of touch. She needs to realize that it’s the government’s fault if she wants someone to blame. Brett is making a few 100k a year if not a few million.
Wait until you watch her video of having children is all about priority, i think the title is “only the rich can have babies”, it is ridiculous to me…
Well said
35 is not too old to be ready for children. My dad was 35 when I was born, 36 for my brother. My mom was 40 and 41, respectively. She wasn’t ready until then and they didn’t want to have kids with the wrong person.
I know some men in their 30s that I would hardly consider men. They’re just large boys that are struggling to take care of themselves. Women too.
It’s not selfish to not want children. If you don’t want children, don’t have any. I see babies ALL THE TIME. There are still tons of people having babies.
My dad is extremely selfish yet he had me
My uncle has no children but is a amazing person
We shouldn’t base our worth on our offspring
Children aren’t trophy’s
Well to an extent its selfish because not wanting to have learn and deal and be responsible for another is selfish. Does it make you 100% selfish person overall ? No. My sister doesn't have kids..our kids love her and spend alot of time with our families but in the end she likes her house being neat and clean and doing her own thing and keep to her routine. She cannot have another person living with her at all because they will do things she wouldn't like. But she is lonely. And its like we'll would you give up a perfect quiet simple life of just you in exchange for the stress the mess and loudness of kids? I don't hate on people for not wanting kids. That's fine. But the reasons for not and you can't get around it is inconvenience. And there are some who have good reasons like financially can't care for a kid or have personal issues. and no one is saying all parents are selfless. A parent definitely needs to selfless for sure though.
@@sierrahjmartinez6703You tradcons claiming anyone is "selfish" for not pumping out octuplets every nine months are just as ridiculous as COVID cultists claiming you're "selfish" for not taking the heart attack jab.
Who is one being selfish to by not having kids? Who is affected ? Not you, not me. Please get over yourself.
@@sierrahjmartinez6703 Not wanting to have kids for any reason will never be selfish.
Exactly!
The only selfish thing is judging someone for not making the same life choice you did, have kids, don’t, it’s a personal choice.
@Windless Flame bruh, i can barely take care of myself, ain't no way i want another person in my life.
@Windless Flame Insane comment. Some people are happy pairing off. Others are not.
To be honest with you I only agree because people who don't think they should have kids are too dumb to raise kids properly, it's extremely selfish to end your bloodline when hundreds of ancestors gave their life just for you
@@justarandomguyonthenet5316 maybe you should like... learn to take care of yourself? get it together lil bro 🤣🤣🤣
@@justarandomguyonthenet5316 you have zero idea what you are capable of....trust me....I speak from the experience of one who couldn't take care of themselves either....I now have 5 that look up to me....don't discount yourself....
Brett, you're amazing, and I love your channel, but having kids is a choice, not an obligation. Families who aren't ready for kids shouldn't have them lest they are willing to care for them wholeheartedly.
so what if no one wants kids ?
@knucklec7m754 then no one wants kids. Nobody cares
@@knucklec7m754then the human race is over
@@missionlight7492ADHD isn't on the rise
We are just better at diagnosing
It's a bit of the same situation with helmets in WW1 because there were a massive increase in head injuries
The reason there was an increase? The helmet made it so you didnt die from the gunshot, you only got wounded
Wrong
The people in this video said very reasonable things and it just boils my blood to hear Brett talk about how it's selfish to not want kids. There is nothing wrong with waiting to have kids and preparing yourself to be financially stable before having a family
When did she say that? She literately stated that she would respect a persons choice to not want children.
You’re never ready. Don’t wait. Infertility is problem.
@@bettygrable6440 Ah yes, having kids when you're in crippling debt is a fantastic idea
I'm pretty sure adults who grew up poor are glad they didn't get killed.
@@bettygrable6440 Dumb advice and not true. A lot of people who weren't ready to have kids end up in a lot of problems, same with the kids.
5:30 - “You gotta realize at some point the world doesn’t revolve around you” in the same sense someone else’s decision doesn’t revolve around you.
Finally someone said this. This woman is super biased.
Literally. That just pissed me off. The world doesn’t revolve around me but I want my life to revolve around me and my life would become utter mess if I’d ever have a child. I’m neurodivergent, I get overstimulated so easily and her being like “Start being responsible and be one family oriented” really sounded tone deaf. Have children if that fulfils you but shame people who don’t want that responsibility is just nasty. We shouldn’t need a special reason to be child free. That woman saying she doesn’t want to spend money on anyone else was valid. So was the woman that likes to go out. People are allowed to not be mentally ready for a child.
I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but why should that mean I have to make some new people to revolve my life around?
"I think im ready at 35."
"So sad."
Are you kidding me??? 35 is pretty realistic for an average man in the 2020s because they don't have a uterus to be aware of.
People are so obsessed over other peoples life choices. It's not a "duty" to breed. It's something you WANT to do.
35 is not a good age for fertility in women OR men 🫣
She's being annoying, if she wants people to breed with one another, why doesn't she go a head and have kids. Since she is so scared the human specie will disapear. Is not like she would be alive by the time everyone will die anyway.
@@gigidotto9014 What happened to the importance of having a strong marriage as the foundation before starting a family? 😔
@@jordanhunt6774 It happend that people forgot that the true meaning of marriage, marriage is the full devotion, between two people to one another for the rest of their lifes. Children come second to that promise. The marriage is not made to be able to have kids, it's made to find your other half and stay with your half for life.
@@gigidotto9014 right, although I do believe marriage was mainly created for the intent of procreation...not that there aren't many other wonderful aspects to it though! 😊
You are young and naïve. It's not just harder it's near impossible. I work two jobs in order to afford my apartment. My apartment is old and needs a lot of repair, yet for all 50 households here we are lucky because the studio apartments at the other complexes around the neighborhood are newer and cost the same amount as this complex with two bedrooms. We have had the rent raised twice on us in one year. The cost of housing and living is astronomical. I grew up in an extremely impoverished household. I know what it is to starve, go to school with the same clothes day after day, and be humiliated by other children and sometimes adults because of poverty. It was not just hard it was awful. Both my parents did the best they could, they struggled so very hard often with little help. And a couple of times we became homeless due to factory closures. It would be selfish for me to bring a child into this world with the state that it is in, and try to raise it despite things being "Hard" as you put it. No, we are not meant to suffer, but we suffer because our world sets it up that way, and people who make the statements that you make without really suffering yourself, excuse it.
I usually agree on almost everything brett says
But not this.
Not every woman wants to be a mother and it's not an obligation either
love brett and her takes normally but this one is too much- not everyone in this world needs a child. and if they’re not mentally or financially prepared to, then it is the child that suffers. having a child when you’re not in a position to raise them effectively, or to the best of your ability, is selfish. because you’re prioritising your want for a child over the well-being and potential of that child.
She wants to control people and their bodies. How can she say she’s a conservative! Love her too but this is anti freedom
This is the same that i always said, wanting to have kids is in fact a selfish act, the sentence says it " I WANT to have kids". Not saying that it's a bad thing but there are a million facts that you need to consider before mating and bringing offspring to this world just for the sake of it, we are not animals
Same. but you need to understand life from Brett's perspective, she grew up wanted, loved and her parents empowered here. I grew up in a household where my dad married my mom when she was 17 and he was 22. He basically raped my mother and back in those days babies out of wedlock was a big shame. So they were married. he abused the crap out of my big sister, physical, mental and psychological to the point she wanted to kill herself at age 7. when I came aroud 11 years later there wasnt physical abuse but very STRONG mental and psychological abuse, tons of guild tripping and gaslighting, and I being female dad didnt give two shits. My mom didnt yer she already "groomed" her in being an obedient housewife while he cheated on her. SHe had dreams of beciming a pharmacist and opening her own pharmacy, but that dream never came true.
I wish I can say f it all and move out but the amount of crap I put up with I feel worthless and cant do anything at al in my 30s. Phych abuse and emotional abuse is one hell of a thing, and people who never experienced it will always look down on you just like what Brett's doing just because she never experienced it.
I feel the same as you. You gotta feel selfless love for the kid but the decision to make that kid in itself is pretty selfish
Exactly, my parents used to tell me "we didn't have much at that time and we still had you" yeah and i was constantly suffering because of that, my father would even refuse to give me money for school and my mom would be the only one paying for everything for me, were it clothes, school supplies or money for food. I would miss out on all of the trips with my class because they were "expensive" I would miss out on gatherings, I would feel ashamed when everyone was getting new clothes and tech and I wasn't.
"Stop shaming women who want to have children!" cries childless wealthy career-focus young woman before starting shaming women who don't want to have children.
She probably intends to have children soon enough 🙄
Sure she will
@adityaronanki4682 if she's not married by the time she's 25, all the conservative men won't want her because she'll be "expired goods"
She’s 21
The irony! She’s another pearlythings, talks shit about the things they actually embody.
Me not having kids will not affect anyone
BINGO! LIFE WILL GO ON REGARDLESS
exactly, idk why people like brett think otherwise 🤷♀️
@@Olliemaxx1 ok?
@@Olliemaxx1because childfree ppl will make fun of you for having kids
Right
"It's better not being a mom at all than being a bad one"
- Sex Education seasons 1 episode 3
Honestly, the single life might be a better path for some people. The lifestyle itself of having kids and having a family is positive but the decision to not have children when you don't have the capacity to take care of them is a wise decision and self-aware I wouldn't automatically label it selfish. I am saying this as someone who definitely wants to have children and take care of them. I don't think either decision is selfish or selfless, it's just an overall weird way of looking at that.
Looking after a child isn't a choice, it's an obligation. Call it selfish or unselfish, but it's domestic abuse. I get where you're coming from but by your logic, that would mean that a mother with a heavily autistic child should just abort it rather than give birth and get help from a professional on how to raise one, or at least give them to another human who has the empathy to raise one, because there are plenty of people who'd be happy taking on that role whilst you go out getting pissed proving you deserve to be locked up for child neglect. Just because you can't look after a normal, healthy kid even at that, which is what we're mainly talking about when it comes to these women, is because you chose not to. Leaving a kid to starve is quite literally selfish, this should be obvious. And ending the kid's life simply because you were planning on neglecting and starving them is the epitome of narcissism, I don't get how you can defend someone who literally admits they'd hurt their kids if they can't kill them.
Yes, it's responsibility and high priority, thing is though while such may seem difficult where there is a will there's a way. Family presents so many other rewards.
Personally for me outweighs any other aspect in my life.
We should be supporting people who are self aware enough to realise they are not up to the immense job of raising children to make the decision not to have them.
👏👏👏 I 100% agree with u. I personally think that it's incredibly selfish to force your own wants on other people then shame them for not living up to your standard
@jaumartinez9006 I'm curious to know what makes me "weak" for supporting people who r mentally mature enough to understand that they shouldn't have kids?
@Jau Martinez and here we go with the purity spiral BS. Who elected you, Fuhrer Martinez?
@Jau Martinez okay edgelord. So it's become a terrorist or you're weak eh? That's the braindead logic you're talking here.
@jaumartinez9006 ok what does that have to do with wanting/not wanting kids? What does that have to do with ANYONE relating to this context?
Selfishness means prioritising your own needs or wants over those of someone else who has an equal or greater steak in the situation. If you choose not to have children, who does it harm? It can't be the child you never had. That child does not exist and does not care if you have them.
I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Childfree and loving it.
I’m confused as to why this is even a topic of discussion. Whether someone wants kids or not is THEIR choice and no one else’s business. Now, how you care for and nurture your kids if you do decide to have them is a far more important conversation 🗿
You sir deserve this 👑
Conservatives like Brett always want to push women into having kids.
Sir you dropped your crown 👑
I think its a thing because more women are putting other women down and shaming them for having kids. Ive experienced it firsthand. I could care less if people don't want kids but it's pretty irritating being called a "baby popper" for having kids.
Lol "baby popper" sounds correct with the selfish women who have them and let them make everybody else miserable as misery loves company
Nothing selfish about not wanting kids. People must have kids because they want to have them and can afford to have them.
Exactly, privilege people won't understand
It is selfish if your motive is to maintain your level of luxury.
@@timunderbakke8756 freedom of choice if a person feels that money and luxury is worth more to them it would be selfish to have children as they clearly would not make their children their priority.
@@priscillagovender5368 I simply trust a person with kids more than a person without them.
Sadly the majority of people that had kids in the past generations is not because they liked kids and were happy even thought they were poor. Thats just a fairy tail lie people stupidly believe. The reason was actually so they were not be alone when they aged.
I am 44 and made the decision at 20 to never have children. I have never regreted that decision. Not everyone wants kids.
Having a child should be a conscious decision and not just because having kids for the sake of having them. There are a plenty of children in this world that live without the resources that they and the parents need to raise them.
Of course it isn't selfish. You know how many incredibly selfish PARENTS there are in the world? Neither choice is inherently selfish - you can be a selfish person and make either choice.
Sometimes you just don't get a choice. And that's ok too. Nobody should ever feel bad about this kind of thing, at least not because of another person's close minded opinions. Having kids, not having kids...I mean I get there are issues and such we would have to face on either extreme. Overpopulation, population collapse...but it's completely unfair to any single individual or couple to expect them to have or not have kids to "save the world". That's just BS.
@@darthmalagus Agreed 100% You said it so much better than I could.
Exactly
@@darthmalagus Rape aside, who doesn't get a choice of whether or not to have sex?
@@bsv103 where's that meme of the entire crowd facepalming? I need that right now.
Ok wtf Brett? Having a family is a choice. If you want them cool, if you don't also cool.
True. The concept of making a good choice and a bad choice still exists simultaneously
When ppl shame mom's it absolutely irks me to no end.
I decided about 15 years ago I didn't want kids and I still stand by my decision, I'm happy.
I find that when someone is happy there is absolutely no need or even thought of putting someone else down, I feel that the women that shame one another for either having children or not having children are unhappy in some way.
Exactly, like I don't want people who do not want kids to be parents, cause obviously in some cases, someone can hate children and obviously you wouldn't want them having children, they would make life for their own child miserable most likely because they hate children. Therefore I get not forcing others to have children. But I do not agree with hating children. No, the people who hate children shouldn't have children, but it shouldn't be okay that they hate children either. Not wanting children for yourself and despising children are entirely different things. Not everyone is called to be a parent, of course.
Yea I agree, I’m happy that my money isn’t going to a women for divorce, alimony, and child support.
14:14 no Brett. YOU need to get over yourself. Not everyone is living the type of lifestyle that you do.
THIS
No, she should be more bold. My kids will have to pay more money to drag the selfish adult children who never had families to the finish line of their lives. My wife and I make dirt. We live in the highest taxed state in the country. Yet, we have found a way to make it work. Sadly, our kids will be punished for the selfishness of others.
@alecb3332 I feel you. My wife and I have done it all- built our jobs up, remodeled a home ourselves, had kids, and built our marriage while dealing with health issues. It's been hard but extremely rewarding. When I see my peers whine about wanting "the good life" when most won't make the personal sacrifice to have it while we've done so AND become parents it makes me realize how immature so many people are in our era. It's sad to see.
I personally think that if you don't want children you shouldnt have any but then you don't get to judge people who do.
works both ways too, if you wanna have children then go ahead but that doesn't give you the right to judge people who don't want children.
@@Chan-md2hb absolutely right
I don't judge those who have kids. I just would love to stop being told I'm selfish by this fuckin' channel for not wanting kids
💯%
I don't have kids. The only parents I judge are the ones the bring crying babies to movie theaters and let them cry it out and those that laugh at their kids when they are misbehaving.
I'm almost 28 & my husband just turned 30. We both grew up in abusive/neglectful homes. We both had to grow up extremely fast & take care of everyone around us, expecially our parent(s). I've always wanted to adopt/foster if I ever did have kids. My husband never really cared either way. We are both still open to adopting/fostering, however neither one of us wants kids currently. Since we both had to grow up so quickly, we are just enjoying taking care of ourselves for once. We also enjoy just being an Aunt & Uncle. We help out my sisters that are single mothers. We both have mental health issues. Babies in particular trigger my ptsd so its best for them & me to stay away from that kind of environment. Most importantly, we just don't want kids. I don't see that as selfish. In fact I think its a really admirable thing to recognize. Too many people have kids because "thats what im supposed to do" & it creates a society full of broken people. Kids deserve to have parents who truly love & want them.
Love this! When you grow up fast, you just want to enjoy life as it is once you create a better life for yourself. That's where I'm at, as well. Thanks for your thoughts❤
As someone who comes from the same background i wholeheartedly agree
So you’d never love your own kids?
I think it's very wise to recognize that you already have caretaker burnout. It makes for a stressed out parents, and stressed out parents is where we all got our baggage from. Break the cycle, however you must.
I think you can learn from past experiences.
Nobody's life is perfect. It's important to learn from your mistakes and others
Why are we criticizing people who don't want kids or who want to wait? Why do you want people who aren't prepared financially or mentally to bring up children when it comes at the expense of that child's well-being? And trust me, PLENTY of people are still having babies. Sometimes 4, 5, or 6 still. So it's dumb to be worried about a population crisis when the world is already overpopulated as it is.
Childless women can be happy too, even happier than women with children. Why is this even a question.
Because misery loves company..Me n my gf are childfree n happy..tho her bros n sissis seem jealous..we do what the hell we want when we want..and they cant..her sis tell us we need a baby when she standing there with a screaming baby with a loaded diaper..NO THANKS..
@@andynorvell4953 😂 I love this comment. You keep doing you bro. Let them stay jealous.
Don't want kids? Don't have kids. To say it's selfish is the most ridiculous thing.
Equally don't shame those for wanting kids/having kids.
Exactly! If you want kids, habevthem, if you don't, just don't.
Yup
Exactly, it shouldn’t be a debate. People just wanna argue and try to control that’s what all of the debating comes from.
It's also very narrow minded and ignores the fact there are countless things we can do to help each other and society.
i wouldnt call it selfish, just sad.
Most of these "empowered" people that decide against children will have a life of loneliness ahead of them.
I hate this question when I keep hearing the absolute worst child neglect and abuse cases that shock even the police. If you’ve made the self determination that you are not emotionally, physically, financially, psychologically prepared to have children; don’t. They’re not an experiment on how well you will be as an unprepared parent. Don’t judge. People have had horrific childhoods and just don’t want to replicate it.
It is such a huge undertaking. You need to be ready for anything and everything.
Find other ways to be selfless and contribute to society:
If a man or woman are in such a situation, then they should not have kids. They should also be self-aware enough not to engage in sexual intercourse in order to make sure that they do not conceive a child. That’s the part of this question that no one seem to want to address…
Ignore Robert. Dude, doesn’t know what a vasectomy is…
You couldnt function any fraction of a day without using judgment. Ha. And btw, we are called to judge; to make right judgments. Do not judge by mere appearances or a false standard. Fyi we will be judging those false lying spirits. Tc.
Yes! It is people who choose to have kida and abuse or neglect them that are the selfish ones.
Some people just shouldn't have kids. People like Andrea Yates, Octomom, and that lady nicknamed Doomsday mom. I forgot the guy's name but, one guy burned down his house. He decided that if he couldn't have the kids, no one would.
Brett L take on this. If you do not want to have kids so you can live your life without that massive lifelong burden that is completely 100% ok! Why would I sacrifice so much for something I absolutely do not want?
Because it’s your duty as a human being, if people don’t have children the population collapses.
@@barnaby4232Who cares? Sometimes you gotta put your own wants and needs before the needs of the universe plus, there’s 7 billion people on this planet. The population isn’t gonna die out any time soon
@@barnaby4232even if it does it will probably just even out over time. The replacement level that is needed will be less
@@barnaby4232 the population is still on a daily rise.
@@barnaby4232it’s my duty as a human? Wtf you guys are wack
It's selfish to have kids.
I agree that “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Some folks just need to mature…others shouldn’t have them at all. Haven’t you met people that should never have reproduced? Almost 30 years in law enforcement showed me that it’s not for everyone. For me, it’s the best thing I ever did! ❤
Amen
Birth rate drops are a blessing, not a problem. Smart people will know better. Let chaotic people die out of the genetic pool
@@ruffusgoodman4137 Sadly, the chaotic ones are reproducing like rabbits
@@Luciothecommenter True... True. But some are getting held back from it, either with abortion or merely social pressure like demonstrated on videos.
The poorest are indeed reproducing like ants, but feminazi and the like will slowly fall out of the pool in 2 or 3 generations.
The indoctrination will pull more and more from the chaotic groups towards this or maybe the LGBT agenda so I still look at it as a win.
The key strategy here is to keep your eyes open and pay attention to their schemes and if we play our cards right, this will end up helping us instead of wiping our families out like they want.
I know this sounds cruel, but life is cruel, not us.
@@ruffusgoodman4137 stupidity is not genetic.
Every generation there will always be stupid people. They're just more influencial now because of social media. Brith rate drops aren't a blessing, but also not the global doom spoken of here either.
It's ok to not want children, It's ok to want children. What is not ok is forcing your opinions and views on another person. You have no idea why they have their views or what is happening in their own life.
Absolutely, in this economy & society, some people should not have kids & look at the population numbers in 🇺🇸
This 👏
Preach!,I want children I will not push to my friend who doesn’t want children see logic
We force our opinions on other people all the time. For example "You cannot kill people" is something that certain people don't agree with, but we do it anyways.
@@Kathakathan11people have had children in worse times, and there is no population crisis unless you're talking about the birth rates.
You want people to have kids cause it make you happy. That doesn’t mean that other people need to have kids to be happy. Some parents actually regret having their kids
Like how my mom regrets having me, she didn’t want me to suffer but here I am
People have children because they WANT to.
or have them anyway because they feel obligated to, which is stupid.
1st off: Love what you do Brett.
2nd: NOPE. Don't care if its selfish. I'm not good with kids, I don't like kids, never want kids. And nothing is gonna convince me. There's unfit parents out there and you want them to keep having kids. Sounds kinda selfish to me.
I don’t think it’s selfish, if that’s your reason. I think people who don’t want kids for reasons like spending more money on themselves is selfish. I think it’s good if you to not have kids, if you know you won’t be able to give them the best life possible.
I’m not trying to be adversarial just very curious - why aren’t you good with kids? What are the reasons (outside of financial reasons) that you dont want kids?
me too. i don’t do good with little kids. if i end up with kids when i’m older it will be because i adopted an older child. i am better dealing with snark and the nastiest attitudes and all the other hardships. i don’t know why but that is what i naturally know how to deal with and i love the idea of giving an older kid another chance at a life they deserve. but that’s if i find a man who wants to endure that with me.
No, she didn't say she wants just anyone to have them, especially not someone like you dawg- keep your seed to yourself.
I don’t care if people do not have kids but don’t judge people who have kids and say they are selfish and need a license for it. It is good that people who really don’t need to reproduce because they think life is pointless not have kids because they obviously cannot make the world a better place so no thanks to them. It is better they don’t reproduce that mindset. It won’t help humanity evolve.
So, Brett thinks that at the end of the day, our lives shouldn't be our own?
Massively disagree.
I'm 45, don't have kids. Almost had them at one point. Very glad I didn't.
When I wanted kids, I wanted kids for myself, not for society.
Sorry, Brett, you couldn't be more wrong on this one.
100% agree. I thought I was the only one disagreeing with her views in this.
100% agree, felt there was hatred towards childless people in this one. I'm only 22 but I do want to build my career and my own life, you only get one.
According to her, she's the most selfish woman in the world, she didn't have kids even though she's a rich young woman, instead all she does is recording useless videos
She's a conservative. They all like to talk a big game about "freedom", but at the end of the day, if you're not using your freedom the way they deem right, they'll judge you like crazy. And sometimes try to take your rights away.
I was unstable in a lot of ways in my twenties and am only now starting to feel ready to be a parent, and I'm 33. No conceited idiot UA-camr is gonna convince me I should have just gone ahead and had kids years ago, ready or not.
@@quovadismurica1989 Also it's kind of ironic because Brett is in her early 20s and doesn't have kids herself. I also doubt that she's currently planning to find a husband and make some babies. Practice what you preach.
TLDR: having kids is NOT easy and maybe not as fulfilling as some might think, unless you are bored
As a father of a 2-year-old boy, I can also say: having kids is a gigantic challenge. Of course, each kid is unique, so this might not be true for everyone, but our son was veeery needy (yes, every child is, but also in comparison to other kids). And he had about a full year (from 6 month to 18 month) where he was waking up screaming at least once in the night, which means the nerves are on edge 24/7... a full year because we got 2-4 hours of sleep a day ("psychological torture" comes into mind)
So I can see how this can break a lot of partnerships, even if you think you are doing fine until then.
With the age of 30 I felt I was ready for it and now I kind of regret it, because before I was perfectly happy, and now I'm not.
But I will stay strong because no one could raise my child better than us (my mantra to keep me going).
On the other hand, if I didn't have a kid, I wouldn't know and probably would regret not having it.
But wanting everyone to have kids, while thinking most people are idiots, does not fit for me. My wife works in kinder garden, and she says people should have a license (like driver's license) for having kids. Because idiots are bad parents and create more idiots.
So let me get this straight.
As a woman, I should risk my health and life to carry a child to a 9 month term & put myself in extreme pain just to provide a human cog for "society" without any financial compensation (I live in the united states) ( and no the little tax breaks parents receive is NOT enough, nor is the food stamps, medicaid or wic is NOT enough when parents are out here fighting for these benefits)
When on the other hand this "society" has never done one single thing for me without expecting either direct or indirect financial compensation.
Hell, I can't even go to the beach in South Florida without having to compensate the city just to park.
For a longgggg time this world has been ran by government tyrants who want to use our existence to live wealthy lifestyles. If resources were equally shared amoung everyone, more people would see having a child as a duty to continue this loving existence, but that is not what this world is and it is not what it will ever be (expecting future generations to fix this is not only selfish but delusional)
It’s not selfish. Some women can’t have kids. Some women chose not to have kids with the wrong partner. It’s not fair to shame moms and it’s not fair to shame non moms.
If anyone is saying, it’s selfish to a woman who cannot physically have kids then that’s wrong but that’s not what we’re talking about here.
"a WomAN cAN dO no wRoNG"
who said that a woman that physically cannot have kids is selfish? it's heartbreaking when a woman wants kids, but for whatever reason she can't.
No one is saying that woman is a bad person.
@@Rikk1825 your name says all the insecurities anyone needs to know
I’m a woman who can’t have kids but when someone asks I just say I don’t want kids because it’s so much easier than getting into personal details about my health and getting emotional with someone. So when people say it’s selfish to not want kids, they are including women who can’t have kids.
As a big fan of this channel I hate to say it but this video feels extremely disrespectful towards people who just simply don’t want kids. Not everyone wants them and yet Brett comes across really condescending towards those people in the videos. Idk man something about this video feels really really condescending
Because she is being condescending to the people who didn't want to have kids for any reason. It's so gross and weird and in the beginning she was going on about people shaming others for wanting to have kids.
Why can't everyone mind their own business? Other people having or not having kids doesn't effect me at the slightest.
I hate to say it, but Brett is forgetting one very important FACT that she cannot deny with any 'science'. That fact is... you only got one life. Once you are gone, you are gone. There is no do over.
So, its only logical that many people would want to live to enjoy themselves since they csn only do it oncem
I personally don't have an issue with people wanting to be childless, especially in this economy. I think when the western world becomes more affordable, more people will want children again.
Or it got nothing to do with money and really don’t want kids
The economy sucks, but people living in the Western world are still significantly better off than in other parts of the world. Maybe it's the lifestyle that needs to become more affordable?
It’s pretty sad when people can’t afford to procreate huh? Then you get fucked up children from people who should have never had any👽🤚🏻
Being a parent myself and expecting my 2nd soon, money has nothing in it. You can afford to raise a child, teenagers are the most expensive part. But if money was a problem, you wouldn't see 3rd world countries out numbering the 1st world in population
Having kids must be normal, so not having kids can't be normalized or encouraged.
The argument of “you’ll be lonely and have no one to visit you in the nursing home” is so tired. There’s a lot of elderly folks who have kids that have gone no contact and don’t visit them. Let people choose if they want kids or not without demonizing each side. I don’t understand why people care so much about what strangers choose to do with their lives, it’s weird.
Generally, I agree with you about choosing. However, in my experience, most of the “childfree” supporters are also very big supporters of the cradle-to-grave welfare state, which can only be funded by a growing population. In other words, they want their social security payments, but they don’t want to have kids to pay for it.
@Olivia Meyers Yes! Like please give me something else I’m BORED!
Depending on how to raise them. Did you actually get to know them? Did you spend time with them? Did you talk them up or down? They are less likely to spend time with you in the nursing home. If they grow up feeling like you just don't care or always talking down on them.
@@pamm2652 Those are great points and why not everyone is fit to be a parent. And that is okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s people like myself who are going through life healing and unlearning behaviors because we were raised by parents that shouldn’t have been parents to begin with.
There aren't alot of people in the nursing homes, and they ususally deserve to be there
You're not a selfless hero if you brought in a child and raise a kid, that's part and parcel of doing your job as a parent. It's like a dog owner saying he's a selfless hero for budgeting for dog food for his dog. Any parent who thinks that clearly never thought about helping already existing people before.
And can you prove your point by saying you have adopted some kids and raise them?
Tbh it's not about taking responsibility and getting it together. Financially, it's just really tough right now to even go from month to month looking after yourself/partner/pet. A child is very expensive and if you don't have a support system, like parents to babysit/help out, or inheriting a trust fund or a house, it's really rough. I understand why young people would rather not sign up for a life of struggle and suffering until they're ready, just for the sake of 'legacy.' Being ready to devote yourself to your child is so much better and healthier for the child than bringing someone into the world, only to not raise them right, or be unable to give them what they need. If anything, waiting is selfless. Rushing is selfish.
I don't get why it's so hard to comprehend that people want to ENJOY their OWN life?
EXACTLY! Why would that be something to be ashamed of lol
Hedonists, everyone.
i want a kid or two, but i dont want it early, i wanna experience life.
Why is it so hard to understand that this mentality is not sustainable?
It's not...she's just stating the fact that it's ridiculously selfish...
It's not an obligation! It's a choice!
Thank you
Exactly
Exactly! As long as you’re making the right choices for yourself and don’t shame or insult people who’ve made different choices. Goes both ways 🙂
Yes, it is a choice…until a child is actually conceived. Then parenthood becomes an obligation.
@@robertbusek30 nah. adoption lmao
If you think people need to "keep the population up" then why don't you go and have 20 kids to make up for those of us who Don't want to do that? Why should I have a kid that I do not want, have no money for, and have no patience for?
Also having a child is literally the MOST selfish thing a person can do.
100% agreed
She’s the one who should have kids if she’s complaining that we don’t have kids.
There's pros and cons to both. Me, personally, I've always wanted kids and my daughter is 16 now, but they're people that don't want kids and want to live without kids and that's fine.
I don’t want kids. So what????? would you rather me have unwanted children? Not everybody wants to be a parent. That’s a hard job for the rest of your life. That’s a huge commitment not everybody’s cut out for it. but people flexing about not wanting kids is where is problematic.
Yup its crazy. They would rather you have unwanted children to abuse, mistreat, and malnourish, than to not have children at all. "She doesn't want children, the horror! Oh my god! You are a horrible person!" 😂 these people are absolute lunatics.
The one thing that annoys me is when they ask "are you happy". We will never be truly happy and satisfied in life. We just need to create lives that are good enough for us to live in, whether children are involved or not.
I don't have kids and I am very happy
Very sensible comment❤
not true lol
@@aribundance it is true
We don't have an obligation to reproduce...
We kinda do though
Oh, in order to keep the species alive you mean?@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910
@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 No we don't. Not everyone has the means to be a parent.
@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 biblical no we don’t. God supports single people aswell.
@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 No we don't but please feel free to enlighten us with something you know that we don't.
This is the first time i disagree with Bret. I want kids but i certainly support women who choose not to. We have a different world now. People have traumas that yes, they have not overcome, and yes they should choose not to let that trauma be passed on to another human being. I do not think it is being selfish to choose the life that you think you can survive in. If people are not ready for a family, then they should not be shamed for waiting. The reason that some of our generation is messed up is because there were “forced parents” in the generation before us.
Brett: "don't shame mothers for having kids"
Also Brett: * shames people for not wanting to have kids*
Also you: Shitting on other people.
@@Dayshine_WUCE wait what?
@@Dayshine_WUCEAre you having a stroke?
Ah no, she is not shaming people for not wanting children. She is shaming people for not growing up or wanting to grow up and not wanting to be responsible. I'm sure if someone legitimately did not think having children is what they were meant to do instead just wanting to be an adult child she would not care and be like good for you. We have a irresponsibility and entitlement epidemic
@@DanielTheCanadianOne having children doesn't mean growing up and being responsible
Short answer: No it’s not
If you don’t want kids then that’s fine
But if you do then that’s ok too
It’s all a matter of preference
I've only heard HAVING kids IS SELFISH.
@@cooliipie damn that sucks
yeah exactly
Nope, that's when you can even out the amount of people having kids not when it's a necessity to have them because people would rather fuck and get abortions.
Finally, someone who isn't saying "I hate responsibility" because I don't want kids 😭😭
you can be selfish by not wanting kids to work on your career and live a burden free life. you can be selfish by having kids just because you want a 'mini me' or to push them to do the things you couldn't achieve in life. you can be selfless by not having kids to dump your trauma onto them. you could be selfless by having a child that could get fulfilment in life or for the sake of keeping a stable society. it is a very nuanced topic that doesn't have a definite answer. every person should do as they please without being judged
I am a bit disappointed on this video to be honest. I believe that parenthood should be a choice and not a mandatory thing. Either I choose to be a mother or not is selfish because in both cases I take into account my needs and desires. I am doing it because I want it. I have friends in both groups and to be honest I have never heard a person who is childfree or childless( two different things) to be disrespectful or put pressure on people who are or want to become parents. Truth is that I have met a lot of parents , especially mothers, who can be disrespectful, and they are trying to shame people who have chosen otherwise.
So, I only wish everyone could be more respectful and mind their own business. My happy is not necessarily your happy.
There are so many things I don’t agree with from Brett’s point of views.
Everyone has different experiences, people grow up in different places, have different cultures.. how is everyone expected to have the same goals and paths and the same timeline in life?😅
If most people don’t have children though then that’s really bad for society though
@@barnaby4232 in that situation it should be strictly against the law to not have kids as it affects others
@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 it doesn't affect nobody to have no kids, if that happens you shouldn't be forcing women to have kids that's just cruel and wrong
@@JasmineWhylly it should be illegal for adults to use any bounce houses or even buy one
@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 What kind of logic is that
I’ve watched and agreed with a lot of Brett’s videos, but I’m going to have to pass on this one. I feel like I did the “right things” to be successful in life- good grades and doing extracurriculars at school, went to college and graduated early, and went to grad school. I came onto the job market at the very end of 2013 and beginning of Jan 2014 and it was the most frustrating process. I probably applied close to 100+ jobs between late Dec 2013-May 2015, waking away with only a few interviews and more rejections I ever imagined possible. I ended up working as a dining room server at a Brookdale Senior Living community for $9.05/hr because I desperately needed to be employed. Although I lived at home with my parents, I paid for everything I needed with my own money (with the exception of some groceries) and was not able to save any money because $9.05/hr for 25-30 hours per week is not a lot. When I finally got a “real” job that paid $14/hr, I had a long commute and it ended being a toxic work place that took an immense toll on my mental health (along with other difficult, personal things going on in my life) that I spiraled into a horrible depression. I changed jobs and went to $17/hr, still with a commute, that also quickly became a toxic place to work and further deteriorated my mental health. I found a new job for $17.19/hr that was a much more supportive place to work. Then, my boyfriend (now husband) and I moved to Wisconsin from IL. I found a wonderful job in a new field and started end of Jan 2020. Cue the pandemic. I went from FT to PT in a matter of 5-6 months (I worked as a nursing home social worker) due to low census. I unfortunately was never able to regain FT hours and was laid off Feb 2021. I went on unemployment through mid-May 2021, but never received my unemployment checks until AFTER I started with a new job (that I am still currently at), so I went 12-13 weeks without any income. If my husband didn’t have the income he had at the time, we would have had to sell our house and move back in with our parents. My husband has a much higher paying job than mine (community case worker) and even with our combined income, it’s just enough to get by sometimes. We want at least one kid, but financially it would be very tight. We’re both 31 and work FT. So it’s not selfish to not want kids. I did the things I was supposed and followed the rules and am NOT in a position to bring a kid into my/our life without hardship. It’s not fair to me, my husband, or our future child to bring them into instability when we don’t HAVE to. Brett, you are very intelligent and mature, but are still so young with a lot of life to live. Please don’t shame others for not having the “traditional” lifestyle because that is the “right” way for society. Stop telling people they need to “get it together” you’re xyz age and should have moved past abc trauma. I’ve been in therapy and I do the work, but not everyone has the same opportunity. Kudos to those who are self aware to know their limitations.
This is real life right here, This is called life experience. She doesn't have that yet.
@@talco881 100% . Also, there are so many comments agreeing with her points its frustrating
@@missionlight7492don’t blame yourself when your children aren’t perfect or not as you expect. You did your best and that is all anyone can expect of you. Once adults those little buggers become autonomous and make their own decisions, sometimes not what you want. I still love them and as someone said, grandchildren are the reward for not killing your teenagers. 😂 It’s a joke of course for anyone taking everything so seriously, but grands are amazing.
she was dealt a good hand and played them very well. not everyone can be influencers and be successful the world would crumble at that. this generation is doomed. hopefully by the next one the government will have evened things out. this isn’t the first time inflation has happened nor will it be the last. we just have to live the best life we can with or without kids.
Wow this is a real tough life story. I hope that Brett reads it and learns from it.
My dad is 50 years old about to be 51 and has one 27 year old daughter.I'm about to be 17 and my brother is 18.For the past years he has recommended us to have children when we are mid 30s.I'm siding with him on that rather than her saying saying having kids at 35 is a stretch and selfish.
In this time, the way that America is today, unless you're very wealthy, it seems quite selfish to purposely try to have children.
No its not selfish....anyone who says its selfish is ignorant
Why are people so obsessed with other peoples private decisions ?
That's a darn good question and a good point
I think it’s not about the individual decision, but more the decisions of the mass. It can still have a huge effect on the environment, society and the surroundings in general if a lot of people choose the same in private. Not saying people aren’t allowed to make decisions in private, I’m just saying it might have a huge impact.
I was literally called a selfish and terrible person in the comments of the video for stating that I love children but feel I'm unfit to have them myself. Why does it matter to anyone else? Support those who want them and support those who don't. We don't ask people who want kids why they want them, why not?
@@TheGoldenLady15 That's because the person that called you that is an idiot. Full on idiot. You know what's selfish? Trying to convince someone to have children or bully them into it because YOU want them to have kids. Don't worry bout the person that called you selfish. It's not selfish to not have kids by choice. Smh.
"Conservatives" are becoming the people they hate: complaining ,whining, lack of individuality etc lol
The abuse I've received for not wanting to have kids over the years has made me very sure in my decision. I've never wanted to and I'm over being called selfish.
You have a point and if people are calling you selfish ,their just being dicks and annoying
Same
It's the epitome of selfishness.
It’s not abuse just because people disagree with you and push back on your selfishness.
@@robyngatomon1991 The future of society is not “completely stupid.” Your argument is selfish and ignorant.
Smart people don't have kids. They're not selfish!!!
I am so thankful the birth rates are in decline. I never wanted to be born and forcing a child into this trash world just to suffer is selfish. The school systems are bad and so is the government. And the way money works in this world. I am glad I wont ever bring a child into this world. And we have religion telling people that if they dont live a certain way they will burn forever. Why would I want that for my child? Sorry but I think the child is better off not being born. The only reason the government is worried about all this is because they dont get rich off those that are not apart of the world...
I’m a stay at home mom with three small children. They are the greatest blessing and joy I have ever experienced. Being a stay at home mom is also the hardest, most exhausting job I’ve also experienced. It’s not for everyone, but it has made me a less selfish person by far.
Same here, but I have just 2 babies at home with me. Definitely has taught me to be WAY more selfless than I've ever been in my life.
I am not a mother and don't plan to be but I am just curious on how it makes u less selfish? (No hate, I'm just genuinely curious)
@@Stitcheroo2 -- you need to put someone else's needs before your own, 24/7.
@@JanuaryLisa ohhh that's what I thought but I just wanted to be clear on that
I agree with you completely. I was aware of my selfishness at a young age and I didn’t care who knew it. As a mother my wants are less important than my children’s needs. It has also helped me to regulate my own emotions better for the needs of my children. Also, if I’m being completely honest, I wish my husband and I married earlier and had children earlier. I’m 31 with 2 children and trying for a third. My husband and I dated for 6 years and we truly regret waiting so long to get married.
I do not want children. As a young woman, I am often bashed for it and told "You'll change your mind, you don't know what you want", etc. "What I want" aside, I know myself well enough to know that I would not make a good mother. I am an oldest sister, I have babysat my siblings and other kids for years, and I have multiple jobs that all involve children. I have extensive childcare experience and know that I could not possibly handle having to be a child's caregiver 24/7. However, I have many friends, siblings, and people close to me who want kids, and I encourage the heck out of them. I will *never* try to dissuade someone from having children..please do it so I don't have to lol! Support people who want children, and support people who don't. Let people make informed decisions based on their personalities, circumstances, and experiences. Love and light 💛
a lot of Conservatives are starting to forget not everyone is the same as well. Collectivism blinds people to individuality.
@@ArgentWolf95 Exactly. What works for some does not work for all.
@@ladygrace5428 I'm also one who has no plans for kids either (my comment is somewhere)
Same here, sister, after seeing the utter chaos and exhausting commitment children take with my nieces and nephews, I know I could not handle it. However, I support my sister 100%.
@@cielizzy8860 Yessss!!! I can’t wait to spoil the heck out of my future nieces and nephews…then give them back to my siblings at the end of the day 😂
What if I don’t wanna give up my life to care for others
I'd rather be eternally young than leave a legacy though...
REAL
That won’t happen.
@@katemiller7874 I'll hope until the day I have to bite the dust
I'm 39. While I've figured out my life and am "adulting" just fine, I never wanted kids. I don't owe the world offspring. I am allowed to be "selfish." I am allowed to not want to pass on a bunch of autoimmune diseases and a plethora of other genetic health issues. It' is honestly really trashy of you, Brett, to dismiss people that don't want children. I also just never found the right man to settle down with and marry. The type of career has made it extraordinarily difficult to just find someone.
i agree. i don’t want kids and that shouldn’t be expected of me. i’m not being selfish i don’t like kids to bring one in when i know i don’t like them nor do good with them IS selfish. it isn’t selfish to have kids but to have them when you know you can’t do good by them is.
I dont think she dismissed people who dont want children, more so that she is hinting its selfish. Which it is, by definition, you are priotizing your own comfort and well being over the good of your people. Thats not to say youre are in the wrong for doing that, but it definetly fits the description.
Biggest problem with this way of thinking is that, everyone thinks like you. And you do need children to have future, which means while no one is 'in the wrong' for not having children it drives the first world countries to ruins and mass migration from third world countries.
@@strider8662 Indeed. I'm not advocating these 30+ yr olds who clearly hate children to become parents. However, many of these people spread misinformation about pregnancy and child rearing to teens and that negatively influences them. Giving people informed decisions isn't just complaining about the hard work, it's giving them BOTH SIDES to make their own decisions.
@@samanthaschiefelbein5826what misinformation are those people spreading? Can I have an example?
@@strider8662every act of a human is based on self. Parents choose to have kids for themselves. Both ways are selfish
As a 64 year old mother of 8 (yes,eight) kids and 17 grandchildren I think if you don't want to have children that's cool,look,I wouldn't part with any of my kids/grandkids but it's not for everyone - now my kids are all adults I'm getting to go and do the things I wanted to do and I've realised having more energy would have made it even better,you want kids go right ahead, it's the hardest job you'll ever do but absolutely the most satisfying - if you don't want kids go and live your best life with no regrets - simple 😊
I’ve never wanted children because I came from a really dysfunctional and abusive family. My childhood gave me a lot of problems in my adulthood, but I’m nearly 40 now and have been on a healing journey for years. I feel I finally have enough love and stability to give a child, so my husband and I have been talking seriously about adopting. People have treated me so horribly and made assumptions about why I never even considered having children until now, but they don’t know my story. Be kind.
I’m sorry u went thru all that, u didn’t deserve it, but hopefully things will go well for u 🥺🥺
As the eldest and the breadwinner of my 5 siblings, I changed their diapers, made their milk bottles and get them to sleep. Now, I send money to them. I already have my fair share of experience of raising kids and havr sacrificed alot already. I choose to be childfree.
My God, if someone doesn't feel capable of having a child, then they probably shouldn't have children. I'm really shocked Brett at your commentary about this.
I know, I love Brett. Every now and then she says something I may not agree with but it's never shocking. This shocked me, especially with the beginning of the video where she kinda seemed like she was going to say it's fine to not have kids if you don't want them.. but nope.
@@kristenkidd3982 if you accidentally get pregnant then you HAVE to take care of the kid. It is selfish not to. If you don't want an accidental baby then don't have sex
she’s too young to get it tbh
Just think of it this way. If everyone had that mindset where they decide not to have children, the human race will go extinct in just one generation. Even then, every person that chooses not to have kids means someone else has to do it, for the planet's survival (passing on the responbility to someone else). I agree that certain people shouldn't have kids, but if you're doing it simply because you want to have pina coladas on the beach and wanting a new Gucci bag every month, then that's extremely selfish. I have 2 kids, and yes they're difficult to manage and I have to make a lot of personal sacrifices for them, but being a parent changes you, your mind suddenly prioritizes them first over you automatically.
Actually, agreed on that. So many factors depend on not wanting to have a child. It should be a happy moment and if its not making you happy, don't have the kid. Can't believe Bret said this tbh. Usually I agree with her but in this case, straight NO
Oh Brett, as smart as you are at your age, some adults don't have the help they need and take longer to fully recover and know themselves and steady their lives. I've grown up seeing it, I recently turned 30 and my parents are still together and are miserable together. My sisters still never got their lives together (one is in their 40s and the other is right there) and choosing whether or not to have kids shouldn't be shamed, if people know they just aren't parent material, that in itself is a smart decision. And people who know they want kids, then at least they will love them.
I agree. I felt a jab in the gut when she said by 35 you should get off tik tok and find someone to marry. I am over 35 and still haven't gotten it together. I was in a few long term relationships and marriage just never happened. I have multiple (female and male) friends my age in the same boat. My parents are still together and also miserable together. I will never have kids and it was not by choice, it just never happened for me.
@missionlight7492 I'd say it's best not to "see" if you're a good parent or not, a child's mentality and future would be at stake.
She’s a tad smarter than the average 20 year old. Not by all that much, honestly.
The channel thinking ape would totally critique her ass.
@@CheerfullyCynical829she’s not smarter, she’s just a traditionalist and that is NOT a synonym of smart lol
People just having kids to have kids is the real issue. It's just wrong to bring children into the world, because you feel it's what you should be doing. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I don’t want children, but I’ll never shame anyone for it. We all want different things