Is It Selfish To NOT Want Children?

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  • Опубліковано 26 тра 2023
  • Our generation is waiting longer and longer to have children. Many don't want kids ever. This is different than previous generations. Let's talk about it.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 7 тис.

  • @bucketofsunshine6366
    @bucketofsunshine6366 Рік тому +4866

    Why is this even a question? No, it's not selfish. Why would we want people who don't want kids to have them anyway and make those children's lives miserable?

    • @LifeofAriana578
      @LifeofAriana578 Рік тому +195

      True

    • @rebeccaconlon9743
      @rebeccaconlon9743 Рік тому +120

      While true, there is the counter point of the simple fact that you sacrifice a lot when you do have children and that requires you to shed the selfish childhood prior to becoming a family leader.

    • @ashtonwilliams3431
      @ashtonwilliams3431 Рік тому +200

      If I might suggest, having children is an honor and it is also important to the development of a human. The culture of avoiding having children is a symptom of the immature adult mindset our society has. Children provide a reason to do better, to make wiser decisions- to encourage immature people to continue to avoid the responsibility of children is not a solution. Additionally, no one is ever truly prepared for a newborn- having one forces people into the next stage of adulthood and brings a new mindset and perspective. I get that just saying "have a baby" is not a solution either, but we should change the culture by celebrating motherhood and fatherhood, promote family values, and encourage youth towards wanting strong families.

    • @jltr2567
      @jltr2567 Рік тому +19

      Heres rhe thing so many people dont want them and we are facing population collapse. 0:01

    • @catcat9582
      @catcat9582 Рік тому +64

      This question is asked to shame and control

  • @salazar556
    @salazar556 9 місяців тому +774

    If someone doesn't want kids, that's okay and it's probably best for the child. If a kid is unwanted, that'll be absolute hell for them.

    • @andynorvell4953
      @andynorvell4953 9 місяців тому +49

      How true..Thats what some idiots cant figure out..Why would you have something you dont want..Cuz its not fair to the child..and on the inside the parent will always resent the unwanted child..

    • @viperstriker4728
      @viperstriker4728 7 місяців тому +2

      @@andynorvell4953 No one is arguing people should have kids when they don't want to. They are arguing that you should want to have kids. It is possible to decide what you want after all.

    • @thedog5k
      @thedog5k 7 місяців тому

      @@viperstriker4728 Not really.
      I swear to god you and these other DF's

    • @viperstriker4728
      @viperstriker4728 7 місяців тому +1

      @@thedog5k I have the ability to decide what I like. I have done it multiple times and it has improved my life.
      If not being a slave to my emotions makes me a DF, then so be it.

    • @rolegutana6939
      @rolegutana6939 7 місяців тому +7

      yes, if someone doesnt want kids, its probably best for the adult. if an adult is forced to take care of a kid, all of the adults potential gets wasted away. it will be hard for the adult to grow old and have actual accomplishments. and no, having a kid alone is not an accomplishment.

  • @Cake-gg8by
    @Cake-gg8by 7 місяців тому +284

    People always say every kid deserves a parent but not ever parent deserves a kid so why push kids on people who doesn't want them

    • @neillynch_ecocidologist
      @neillynch_ecocidologist Місяць тому +2

      The adoption agencies are FULL of broken kids. If you're an 'amazing' person/couple and you 'need' a child... why not rescue one???
      #ZenAndTheArtOfSavingLifeOnEarth #MyFREENovelOnUA-cam

  • @karenflynn6589
    @karenflynn6589 7 місяців тому +509

    Realizing that you aren't equipped to take care of kids BEFORE you have them is the most responsible thing a person can do.

    • @newglof9558
      @newglof9558 4 місяці тому +6

      "realizing you aren't equipped to take care of kids while continuing to be unequipped to take care of kids is actually responsible guys"
      topsy turvy world

    • @sanvandaele8610
      @sanvandaele8610 4 місяці тому

      @@newglof9558 dir

    • @stuckatthevalley
      @stuckatthevalley 4 місяці тому +28

      ​@@newglof9558 This is the definition of "Don't want a tattoo? Train yourself to want one, so that you can _get_ a tattoo!"
      (Not comparing kids to tattoos, obviously.)

    • @curiositypiqued6573
      @curiositypiqued6573 3 місяці тому

      Stupid comment ​@@stuckatthevalley

    • @curiositypiqued6573
      @curiositypiqued6573 3 місяці тому

      I'm glad there's ppl like OP here aswell as the usual stupids with 10 kids and counting

  • @megangreene3955
    @megangreene3955 Рік тому +3785

    As an adopted person, I very much take offense to the guy who said that he would like to adopt just so he could return it if he doesn't like it. You can not return an adopted child. They become your family from that moment on. They are yours forever. I am so glad that my adoptive parents didn't think like that guy. That's awful.

    • @JordanRivers-hx2lr
      @JordanRivers-hx2lr Рік тому

      It is only what is unnatural and hence antichrist that is being promoted. God adopts us into His family, forever. Satan is trying to steal via an inhuman beast race. Digital man. Transhumanism. Bodies are vessels for temples. Know what the . Enemy is after. Blessings.

    • @monsev.arellano9125
      @monsev.arellano9125 Рік тому +215

      My jaw literally dropped when he said that. Adopting or fostering a child is not a game. It's a commitment you've made to the child to take them as your own. I'm glad you're parents are great parents! 😊

    • @el_killorcure
      @el_killorcure Рік тому

      You haven't read about the Russian orphans being sent back by their western adopting parents because they are totally psychotic, have you?
      Apparently these orphanages abuse them greatly yet hide it so unsuspecting suckers don't realize they are getting seriously damaged goods.
      Can't blame them too much though for doing what they can to rid themselves of mental cases who otherwise ain't flying off the shelves anytime soon...

    • @NTgamezZ
      @NTgamezZ Рік тому +49

      😮 I didn’t hear him say that I need to rewind the video that’s just awful

    • @GanondorfsWife
      @GanondorfsWife Рік тому +92

      I'm adopted too, and yeah he's a scumbag. I was only threatened ONCE to be disowned and sent back to China. Love my dad but I still hate he said that to me when I was 17...

  • @m.b.9916
    @m.b.9916 Рік тому +2014

    It’s worse to have children if you don’t want them tbh

    • @steveminton8329
      @steveminton8329 Рік тому +71

      Exactly

    • @docsavage8640
      @docsavage8640 Рік тому +35

      You're a teenager so you have time to mature and change your mind after you learn more.

    • @run2cat4run
      @run2cat4run Рік тому +18

      @@oliviameyers5351take no notice he doesn’t get it

    • @christianthomas8069
      @christianthomas8069 Рік тому +32

      @Olivia Meyers give yourself a few years. My dad said the same thing when he was younger and ended up having two kids by choice.

    • @oncetwice5942
      @oncetwice5942 Рік тому +2

      Exactly this

  • @jackcarraway4707
    @jackcarraway4707 10 місяців тому +303

    Some of the most selfish and narcissistic people I have ever met were parents.

    • @stillslaying
      @stillslaying 10 місяців тому +16

      Right?

    • @user-vj4tk6jw8i
      @user-vj4tk6jw8i 4 місяці тому +17

      You can say that again.

    • @italkgory99
      @italkgory99 2 місяці тому +3

      Okay? What’s your point? Are you suggesting that’s it’s the children that made em that way? Or rather that they had kids BECAUSE they were narcissistic?

    • @lun4ever
      @lun4ever 2 місяці тому +3

      ​@@italkgory99 i think they mean that some parent, NOT ALL OF THEM
      Are better off without children

    • @jackcarraway4707
      @jackcarraway4707 2 місяці тому +7

      ​@@italkgory99My point is that having kids doesn't necessarily improve you as a person. It isn't the kids fault.

  • @FlamesofRebirth3836
    @FlamesofRebirth3836 8 місяців тому +354

    As much as I love Brett, I don’t think she’s gonna be changing anyone’s mind about children. The harping about how people won’t “make sacrifices” to have children is exactly the kind of talk that made me swear off children in the past. People have valid reasons for not wanting kids and she is not taking their opinions or concerns seriously.

    • @jorgeandrade783
      @jorgeandrade783 8 місяців тому +82

      Exactly also she’s being hypocritical because she doesn’t have kids right now either. If she’s that desperate for people to have kids then she should go and have some herself but she is making the decision to currently not have kids and I would assume it’s for “Selfish” reasons whatever “Selfish” means. So yeah I do think people who are childless who criticise other people for not wanting kids are massive hypocrites and at the end of the day people need to make the decisions for what’s best for themselves

    • @Lora_Beolab
      @Lora_Beolab 6 місяців тому +13

      @@jorgeandrade783 she got engaged a month and a half ago it was probably waiting for the right person

    • @CordeliaWagner1999
      @CordeliaWagner1999 6 місяців тому +7

      This is a woman?????
      He looks like Dylan Mulvaney's cousin.

    • @2009jadeorchid
      @2009jadeorchid 5 місяців тому +19

      Some people use children as a status symbol, some thing to show off . In fact some of the most selfish people I know have children . The children are nothing but an extension of themselves.

    • @Lora_Beolab
      @Lora_Beolab 5 місяців тому +2

      @@2009jadeorchid how is this relevant? are you sush a person?

  • @lj7152
    @lj7152 Рік тому +1229

    I've seen people be called selfish if they don't want to get married, if they don't want kids, if they don't want more than one kid, if they have too many kids, or if they don't want pets. You'll be called selfish no matter what you do. Just do what works for you.

    • @Superbatmanbro
      @Superbatmanbro Рік тому +74

      It’s annoying and frustrating. Maybe some people just don’t have the patience and maturity and mindset to want to raise a child or just want be single or just want a spouse to talk to .it doesn’t really bother me what people want to do with their life

    • @kotofan1040
      @kotofan1040 Рік тому +42

      My mother in law is Indian, she was shamed for being “too modern” because she had “only” 2 kids.

    • @harrylongabaugh7402
      @harrylongabaugh7402 Рік тому

      Do what is right. Doing what works for you is what is destroying civilization.

    • @nfcapps
      @nfcapps Рік тому +12

      Don't do "what works for you." Do what is right.

    • @TheGoldenLady15
      @TheGoldenLady15 Рік тому +37

      I was literally bashed repeatedly, called selfish and a terrible person by someone in this comments section for stating why I don't want children. You can't win, friends. At this point I'm just be a good person and do the best I can.

  • @ragadsadaqa
    @ragadsadaqa Рік тому +2303

    It is not selfish to not have kids. It is selfish to bring kids into the world then don’t care for them properly.

    • @bowserjr.3212
      @bowserjr.3212 Рік тому +72

      If you choose not to have kids because you just want to sit on your butt and play video games or do things only for yourself, yeah it’s pretty selfish

    • @Jacky-zt5ch
      @Jacky-zt5ch Рік тому +258

      ⁠@@bowserjr.3212 no it’s not. If the kid already exist but I refuse to provide for them because I just want to do things for myself, that’s selfish. If that kid that I need to provide for doesn’t exist in the first place, that’s a crisis averted, bullet dodged, preemptive problem solved. Nobody ever own anyone a kid.

    • @bowserjr.3212
      @bowserjr.3212 Рік тому +43

      @@Jacky-zt5ch living a life only for yourself is pretty selfish by definition

    • @DevinaMori
      @DevinaMori Рік тому +143

      ​@@bowserjr.3212 Amd whats wrong with being selfish exactly? For a life that doesnt even exist namely😒.

    • @bowserjr.3212
      @bowserjr.3212 Рік тому +27

      @@DevinaMori “what’s wrong with being selfish?” I think that’s a question you need to ponder

  • @muaythaiballerina6463
    @muaythaiballerina6463 7 місяців тому +161

    No, it's not selfish. Some people just aren't ready, emotionally or financially. Some people make the conscious decision not to have kids because they're not ready and they don't want to be a burden on their families or society. I think it's good for some people to wait or not have kids at all. There are plenty of people who probably should have waited...you know what I mean...we've all seen them 😂😂😂

    • @Rojin_04
      @Rojin_04 29 днів тому

      she's not saying not having kids is selfish, she's saying hating kids (or people who have kids) is wrong.

  • @TheDingo80
    @TheDingo80 10 місяців тому +138

    36 yr old father here with a 3.5 yr old daughter. My parents had me when they were 30. Growing up they told me that waiting until that time allowed them to learn and live life so that when they had us, they could devote the next 20 years fully to raising us. I had my daughter at 32 and I cannot imagine how badly I would have done if I had my daughter in my 20's. I was changing work industries, dating complications, family responsibilities. In my 30's, we are stable and have good social circles to help guide us and our daughter.

    • @karex2n
      @karex2n 8 місяців тому +9

      🫶 perfect example of someone who wants and it’s prepare for children

    • @condwiramurstally
      @condwiramurstally 4 місяці тому +2

      Kudos to you.

  • @OrganicRobot761
    @OrganicRobot761 Рік тому +911

    I think the selfish ones are the people who don't really *want* children, but have them anyway because they feel like it's what they're "supposed to do".

    • @221BSam
      @221BSam Рік тому +94

      Yes! or to just use them as a social media accessory (I know someone like this)

    • @misterkittyandfriends1441
      @misterkittyandfriends1441 Рік тому +23

      Most people don't know what they are getting into when they become parents and they largely hear about the costs but not the joy.
      If somebody is maybe 50/50 beforehand, they are typically all in after the child is born.

    • @melissam597
      @melissam597 Рік тому +2

      Absolutely

    • @lobaargentina
      @lobaargentina Рік тому +43

      Totally. Having a child, no matter what Bret said, IS NOT inherently selfless.

    • @salvetre3966
      @salvetre3966 Рік тому +36

      Or people who pressure people who don't want them because "they will want them after they have them" just let the people live how they want !!

  • @TheAzynder
    @TheAzynder Рік тому +1018

    Have kids, don't have kids, but we should all stop telling other people to do either.
    Not having kids is not inherently selfish and having kids is not inherently unselfish.

    • @yeet8627
      @yeet8627 Рік тому +78

      EXACTLY. the fact that this is even an argument is crazy. it’s really just as simple as that

    • @Ciasteczkowy
      @Ciasteczkowy Рік тому +39

      Glad to see that I am not the only one with such world view

    • @Datgirlzenli
      @Datgirlzenli Рік тому +17

      100%

    • @joaoc_PT
      @joaoc_PT Рік тому +4

      How is not wanting to also love, care and educate, like oneself was when their parents had him/her, not selfish?
      The main reason for childness is exactly wanting to have different personal experiences, choosing to opt out on the family experience. ME ME ME!!

    • @yeet8627
      @yeet8627 Рік тому +72

      @@joaoc_PT because not everyone is cut out to be a parent and there are people who would rather do something else with their lives and that’s not a bad thing. One can still be a selfless person and live a fulfilled life without children. And some people decide to take care of their parents when they are older instead of dropping them off at nursing homes like most people. Having a child is not inherently selfless and not having one is not inherently selfish.

  • @CR0WYT
    @CR0WYT 8 місяців тому +194

    Brett, I think you need to understand that the vast majority of people aren’t as fortunate as you are. You have it good right now, especially for your age. All you really need at this point is a guy to help you with that journey of parenthood. Most of us can barely take care of ourselves in this economy and we simply can’t afford to even have partners let alone children with them.

    • @nb6792
      @nb6792 5 місяців тому +38

      FR. I can't even take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of a kid

    • @viveka2994
      @viveka2994 5 місяців тому

      blame republicans and democrats bickering
      What america needs is to balkanize both of the parties into tons of little ones

    • @Aspen_1256
      @Aspen_1256 4 місяці тому +27

      Yes. This take is rather out of touch. She needs to realize that it’s the government’s fault if she wants someone to blame. Brett is making a few 100k a year if not a few million.

    • @eillah791
      @eillah791 3 місяці тому +6

      Wait until you watch her video of having children is all about priority, i think the title is “only the rich can have babies”, it is ridiculous to me…

    • @anyagrech
      @anyagrech 3 місяці тому +5

      Well said

  • @charlottec7158
    @charlottec7158 11 місяців тому +20

    35 is not too old to be ready for children. My dad was 35 when I was born, 36 for my brother. My mom was 40 and 41, respectively. She wasn’t ready until then and they didn’t want to have kids with the wrong person.
    I know some men in their 30s that I would hardly consider men. They’re just large boys that are struggling to take care of themselves. Women too.
    It’s not selfish to not want children. If you don’t want children, don’t have any. I see babies ALL THE TIME. There are still tons of people having babies.

  • @LiterallyInklingGirl
    @LiterallyInklingGirl Рік тому +615

    My dad is extremely selfish yet he had me
    My uncle has no children but is a amazing person
    We shouldn’t base our worth on our offspring
    Children aren’t trophy’s

    • @sierrahjmartinez6703
      @sierrahjmartinez6703 8 місяців тому +4

      Well to an extent its selfish because not wanting to have learn and deal and be responsible for another is selfish. Does it make you 100% selfish person overall ? No. My sister doesn't have kids..our kids love her and spend alot of time with our families but in the end she likes her house being neat and clean and doing her own thing and keep to her routine. She cannot have another person living with her at all because they will do things she wouldn't like. But she is lonely. And its like we'll would you give up a perfect quiet simple life of just you in exchange for the stress the mess and loudness of kids? I don't hate on people for not wanting kids. That's fine. But the reasons for not and you can't get around it is inconvenience. And there are some who have good reasons like financially can't care for a kid or have personal issues. and no one is saying all parents are selfless. A parent definitely needs to selfless for sure though.

    • @redpillfreedom6692
      @redpillfreedom6692 8 місяців тому

      ​@@sierrahjmartinez6703You tradcons claiming anyone is "selfish" for not pumping out octuplets every nine months are just as ridiculous as COVID cultists claiming you're "selfish" for not taking the heart attack jab.

    • @whitneyanders5945
      @whitneyanders5945 7 місяців тому +17

      Who is one being selfish to by not having kids? Who is affected ? Not you, not me. Please get over yourself.

    • @renflower1910
      @renflower1910 7 місяців тому +20

      @@sierrahjmartinez6703 Not wanting to have kids for any reason will never be selfish.

    • @2009jadeorchid
      @2009jadeorchid 5 місяців тому

      Exactly!

  • @becca7419
    @becca7419 Рік тому +242

    "I think im ready at 35."
    "So sad."
    Are you kidding me??? 35 is pretty realistic for an average man in the 2020s because they don't have a uterus to be aware of.
    People are so obsessed over other peoples life choices. It's not a "duty" to breed. It's something you WANT to do.

    • @jordanhunt6774
      @jordanhunt6774 Рік тому

      35 is not a good age for fertility in women OR men 🫣

    • @gigidotto9014
      @gigidotto9014 11 місяців тому +41

      She's being annoying, if she wants people to breed with one another, why doesn't she go a head and have kids. Since she is so scared the human specie will disapear. Is not like she would be alive by the time everyone will die anyway.

    • @jordanhunt6774
      @jordanhunt6774 11 місяців тому +7

      @@gigidotto9014 What happened to the importance of having a strong marriage as the foundation before starting a family? 😔

    • @gigidotto9014
      @gigidotto9014 11 місяців тому +14

      @@jordanhunt6774 It happend that people forgot that the true meaning of marriage, marriage is the full devotion, between two people to one another for the rest of their lifes. Children come second to that promise. The marriage is not made to be able to have kids, it's made to find your other half and stay with your half for life.

    • @jordanhunt6774
      @jordanhunt6774 11 місяців тому +3

      @@gigidotto9014 right, although I do believe marriage was mainly created for the intent of procreation...not that there aren't many other wonderful aspects to it though! 😊

  • @chaos_is_my_guilty_pleasure
    @chaos_is_my_guilty_pleasure 11 місяців тому +442

    Brett, you're amazing, and I love your channel, but having kids is a choice, not an obligation. Families who aren't ready for kids shouldn't have them lest they are willing to care for them wholeheartedly.

    • @knucklec7m754
      @knucklec7m754 10 місяців тому +8

      so what if no one wants kids ?

    • @i_dontreallycare
      @i_dontreallycare 10 місяців тому

      ​@knucklec7m754 then no one wants kids. Nobody cares

    • @Jesuslovesmethisiknow635
      @Jesuslovesmethisiknow635 10 місяців тому +19

      @@knucklec7m754then the human race is over

    • @user-zc4sx9ig6p
      @user-zc4sx9ig6p 10 місяців тому +2

      ​@@missionlight7492ADHD isn't on the rise
      We are just better at diagnosing
      It's a bit of the same situation with helmets in WW1 because there were a massive increase in head injuries
      The reason there was an increase? The helmet made it so you didnt die from the gunshot, you only got wounded

    • @willkillem737
      @willkillem737 10 місяців тому +1

      Wrong

  • @runswithwands
    @runswithwands 11 місяців тому +214

    I'm 39. While I've figured out my life and am "adulting" just fine, I never wanted kids. I don't owe the world offspring. I am allowed to be "selfish." I am allowed to not want to pass on a bunch of autoimmune diseases and a plethora of other genetic health issues. It' is honestly really trashy of you, Brett, to dismiss people that don't want children. I also just never found the right man to settle down with and marry. The type of career has made it extraordinarily difficult to just find someone.

    • @idioticbagel2833
      @idioticbagel2833 10 місяців тому +25

      i agree. i don’t want kids and that shouldn’t be expected of me. i’m not being selfish i don’t like kids to bring one in when i know i don’t like them nor do good with them IS selfish. it isn’t selfish to have kids but to have them when you know you can’t do good by them is.

    • @strider8662
      @strider8662 9 місяців тому +14

      I dont think she dismissed people who dont want children, more so that she is hinting its selfish. Which it is, by definition, you are priotizing your own comfort and well being over the good of your people. Thats not to say youre are in the wrong for doing that, but it definetly fits the description.
      Biggest problem with this way of thinking is that, everyone thinks like you. And you do need children to have future, which means while no one is 'in the wrong' for not having children it drives the first world countries to ruins and mass migration from third world countries.

    • @samanthaschiefelbein5826
      @samanthaschiefelbein5826 9 місяців тому +7

      @@strider8662 Indeed. I'm not advocating these 30+ yr olds who clearly hate children to become parents. However, many of these people spread misinformation about pregnancy and child rearing to teens and that negatively influences them. Giving people informed decisions isn't just complaining about the hard work, it's giving them BOTH SIDES to make their own decisions.

    • @alliahfrancis152
      @alliahfrancis152 8 місяців тому +3

      ​@@samanthaschiefelbein5826what misinformation are those people spreading? Can I have an example?

    • @ztimpatpatpat6608
      @ztimpatpatpat6608 8 місяців тому +6

      ​@@strider8662every act of a human is based on self. Parents choose to have kids for themselves. Both ways are selfish

  • @Kovitlac
    @Kovitlac Рік тому +615

    Of course it isn't selfish. You know how many incredibly selfish PARENTS there are in the world? Neither choice is inherently selfish - you can be a selfish person and make either choice.

    • @darthmalagus
      @darthmalagus Рік тому +39

      Sometimes you just don't get a choice. And that's ok too. Nobody should ever feel bad about this kind of thing, at least not because of another person's close minded opinions. Having kids, not having kids...I mean I get there are issues and such we would have to face on either extreme. Overpopulation, population collapse...but it's completely unfair to any single individual or couple to expect them to have or not have kids to "save the world". That's just BS.

    • @Kovitlac
      @Kovitlac Рік тому +8

      @@darthmalagus Agreed 100% You said it so much better than I could.

    • @ValKob
      @ValKob Рік тому +1

      Exactly

    • @bsv103
      @bsv103 Рік тому +7

      ​@@darthmalagus Rape aside, who doesn't get a choice of whether or not to have sex?

    • @darthmalagus
      @darthmalagus Рік тому +9

      @@bsv103 where's that meme of the entire crowd facepalming? I need that right now.

  • @keller109
    @keller109 Рік тому +338

    I’m confused as to why this is even a topic of discussion. Whether someone wants kids or not is THEIR choice and no one else’s business. Now, how you care for and nurture your kids if you do decide to have them is a far more important conversation 🗿

    • @mrtrollnator123
      @mrtrollnator123 11 місяців тому +21

      You sir deserve this 👑

    • @SharonBoo0305
      @SharonBoo0305 11 місяців тому

      Conservatives like Brett always want to push women into having kids.

    • @chaos_is_my_guilty_pleasure
      @chaos_is_my_guilty_pleasure 11 місяців тому +19

      Sir you dropped your crown 👑

    • @kateri35
      @kateri35 6 місяців тому

      I think its a thing because more women are putting other women down and shaming them for having kids. Ive experienced it firsthand. I could care less if people don't want kids but it's pretty irritating being called a "baby popper" for having kids.

    • @user-lv4ek9lk4l
      @user-lv4ek9lk4l 6 місяців тому

      Lol "baby popper" sounds correct with the selfish women who have them and let them make everybody else miserable as misery loves company

  • @cVx-yy9og
    @cVx-yy9og 11 місяців тому +93

    Me not having kids will not affect anyone

    • @MADSCIENTISTGONESANE6166
      @MADSCIENTISTGONESANE6166 4 місяці тому +14

      BINGO! LIFE WILL GO ON REGARDLESS

    • @Olliemaxx1
      @Olliemaxx1 2 місяці тому +12

      exactly, idk why people like brett think otherwise 🤷‍♀️

    • @hydrofrolicwildflower3393
      @hydrofrolicwildflower3393 Місяць тому

      @@Olliemaxx1 ok?

    • @Nirm814
      @Nirm814 Місяць тому +1

      @@Olliemaxx1because childfree ppl will make fun of you for having kids

    • @pla4825
      @pla4825 Місяць тому

      Right

  • @EllieDoesStuff-ii8zb
    @EllieDoesStuff-ii8zb 10 місяців тому +235

    The people in this video said very reasonable things and it just boils my blood to hear Brett talk about how it's selfish to not want kids. There is nothing wrong with waiting to have kids and preparing yourself to be financially stable before having a family

    • @teitei3123
      @teitei3123 9 місяців тому +3

      When did she say that? She literately stated that she would respect a persons choice to not want children.

    • @bettygrable6440
      @bettygrable6440 9 місяців тому +4

      You’re never ready. Don’t wait. Infertility is problem.

    • @EllieDoesStuff-ii8zb
      @EllieDoesStuff-ii8zb 9 місяців тому +41

      @@bettygrable6440 Ah yes, having kids when you're in crippling debt is a fantastic idea

    • @bunille
      @bunille 7 місяців тому +2

      I'm pretty sure adults who grew up poor are glad they didn't get killed.

    • @renflower1910
      @renflower1910 6 місяців тому +14

      @@bettygrable6440 Dumb advice and not true. A lot of people who weren't ready to have kids end up in a lot of problems, same with the kids.

  • @jessicapyrope
    @jessicapyrope Рік тому +445

    You wanna know what actually is selfish?
    Calling someone selfish for not wanting to bring a life into the world when that person CLEARLY states they don't have the capabilities or interest in caring for another human being.
    You're trying to guilt trip a group of people into having kids when they don't want them and then going "oops your struggling mentally/financially with being a parent, welp thats not my problem, ~goodbye~".
    It sounds like conservatives want broken homes and messed up childhoods rather than loving families.

    • @fluffylonjini5486
      @fluffylonjini5486 Рік тому +74

      Agreed, she seems really ignorant

    • @DogsandCats-gk8pb
      @DogsandCats-gk8pb Рік тому +64

      ​@@fluffylonjini5486 right?! Like she says she's not bashing those who don't want to have kids then proceed to bash every reason stated and literally say they're selfish

    • @redngreen1
      @redngreen1 Рік тому +43

      I agree with this. It’s extremely selfish to project your own beliefs onto others. Sad part is that many people fall for this. People around them successfully manipulate them into unwanted parenthood. These people claim how selfless it is to have a kid, but when the person that was reluctant about it but proceed to have a kid anyways because “it’s a selfless and right thing to do” and come to find that this is the worst decision they’ve made and are now stuck with being a parent, leading to misery which can drive some people suicidal (and no, I’m not making this shit up). But where the fuck are those so called “selfless” people now? Exactly, most of the time they’re nowhere to be seen. The new parent is now completely on their own.

    • @katesansom3841
      @katesansom3841 Рік тому +11

      It’s fine if someone realizes they aren’t in a position in life to have kids at the moment, the real issue is the lack of maturity and responsibility and the utter selfishness in some of those people. I don’t want to be around anyone who is so selfish they say things like, “I don’t want to have kids - I just want to spend money only on me and go out and party whenever”. They need to realize there is more to life than that.

    • @Dakotaaaaaaaa
      @Dakotaaaaaaaa Рік тому +15

      @@DogsandCats-gk8pb Exactly. Some people just aren’t ready to have kids and if they don’t want to then that’s their business. You can’t just call someone selfish if they aren’t mentally or financially stable. Also, mothers don’t get to have much time to themselves or with friends so I see why some people just wanted to have fun while they could. I’m not saying motherhood isn’t fun, but it still can be stressful.

  • @Randomneotch1234
    @Randomneotch1234 Рік тому +580

    The only selfish thing is judging someone for not making the same life choice you did, have kids, don’t, it’s a personal choice.

    • @justarandomguyonthenet5316
      @justarandomguyonthenet5316 Рік тому +69

      ​@Windless Flame bruh, i can barely take care of myself, ain't no way i want another person in my life.

    • @nuclearwessels2078
      @nuclearwessels2078 Рік тому +48

      @Windless Flame Insane comment. Some people are happy pairing off. Others are not.

    • @wholesome7076
      @wholesome7076 Рік тому +4

      To be honest with you I only agree because people who don't think they should have kids are too dumb to raise kids properly, it's extremely selfish to end your bloodline when hundreds of ancestors gave their life just for you

    • @mioyakiyama5499
      @mioyakiyama5499 Рік тому +6

      @@justarandomguyonthenet5316 maybe you should like... learn to take care of yourself? get it together lil bro 🤣🤣🤣

    • @filbertovandette
      @filbertovandette Рік тому +3

      ​@@justarandomguyonthenet5316 you have zero idea what you are capable of....trust me....I speak from the experience of one who couldn't take care of themselves either....I now have 5 that look up to me....don't discount yourself....

  • @talco881
    @talco881 10 місяців тому +16

    You are young and naïve. It's not just harder it's near impossible. I work two jobs in order to afford my apartment. My apartment is old and needs a lot of repair, yet for all 50 households here we are lucky because the studio apartments at the other complexes around the neighborhood are newer and cost the same amount as this complex with two bedrooms. We have had the rent raised twice on us in one year. The cost of housing and living is astronomical. I grew up in an extremely impoverished household. I know what it is to starve, go to school with the same clothes day after day, and be humiliated by other children and sometimes adults because of poverty. It was not just hard it was awful. Both my parents did the best they could, they struggled so very hard often with little help. And a couple of times we became homeless due to factory closures. It would be selfish for me to bring a child into this world with the state that it is in, and try to raise it despite things being "Hard" as you put it. No, we are not meant to suffer, but we suffer because our world sets it up that way, and people who make the statements that you make without really suffering yourself, excuse it.

  • @sarahbalinski7900
    @sarahbalinski7900 5 місяців тому +13

    I definitely don't agree with people needing to 'take responsibility' because they don't want children and want to focus on themselves. As a paediatric nurse, I see far too many children end up in care because of their social circumstance. Telling people that they should have children when they aren't ready, or even financially sufficient is really negligent. In this day and age as well you have to have a decent amount of money to raise children and give them a good life.
    To be honest, I am of the opinion that I am more than my biology, I have hopes and dreams beyond the traditional family unit. That isn't something to disparage, everyone walks a different path in this life.

  • @jessa95
    @jessa95 Рік тому +321

    I'm almost 28 & my husband just turned 30. We both grew up in abusive/neglectful homes. We both had to grow up extremely fast & take care of everyone around us, expecially our parent(s). I've always wanted to adopt/foster if I ever did have kids. My husband never really cared either way. We are both still open to adopting/fostering, however neither one of us wants kids currently. Since we both had to grow up so quickly, we are just enjoying taking care of ourselves for once. We also enjoy just being an Aunt & Uncle. We help out my sisters that are single mothers. We both have mental health issues. Babies in particular trigger my ptsd so its best for them & me to stay away from that kind of environment. Most importantly, we just don't want kids. I don't see that as selfish. In fact I think its a really admirable thing to recognize. Too many people have kids because "thats what im supposed to do" & it creates a society full of broken people. Kids deserve to have parents who truly love & want them.

    • @celinej225
      @celinej225 Рік тому +22

      Love this! When you grow up fast, you just want to enjoy life as it is once you create a better life for yourself. That's where I'm at, as well. Thanks for your thoughts❤

    • @marcelomarcelo514
      @marcelomarcelo514 Рік тому +11

      As someone who comes from the same background i wholeheartedly agree

    • @Red-zh7vq
      @Red-zh7vq 11 місяців тому

      So you’d never love your own kids?

    • @AlexisLish
      @AlexisLish 11 місяців тому +7

      I think it's very wise to recognize that you already have caretaker burnout. It makes for a stressed out parents, and stressed out parents is where we all got our baggage from. Break the cycle, however you must.

    • @randyshank9215
      @randyshank9215 11 місяців тому

      I think you can learn from past experiences.
      Nobody's life is perfect. It's important to learn from your mistakes and others

  • @ffrankielem3207
    @ffrankielem3207 Рік тому +846

    love brett and her takes normally but this one is too much- not everyone in this world needs a child. and if they’re not mentally or financially prepared to, then it is the child that suffers. having a child when you’re not in a position to raise them effectively, or to the best of your ability, is selfish. because you’re prioritising your want for a child over the well-being and potential of that child.

    • @icypenguinparty
      @icypenguinparty Рік тому

      She wants to control people and their bodies. How can she say she’s a conservative! Love her too but this is anti freedom

    • @marcelomarcelo514
      @marcelomarcelo514 Рік тому +78

      This is the same that i always said, wanting to have kids is in fact a selfish act, the sentence says it " I WANT to have kids". Not saying that it's a bad thing but there are a million facts that you need to consider before mating and bringing offspring to this world just for the sake of it, we are not animals

    • @nickwalco
      @nickwalco Рік тому +57

      Same. but you need to understand life from Brett's perspective, she grew up wanted, loved and her parents empowered here. I grew up in a household where my dad married my mom when she was 17 and he was 22. He basically raped my mother and back in those days babies out of wedlock was a big shame. So they were married. he abused the crap out of my big sister, physical, mental and psychological to the point she wanted to kill herself at age 7. when I came aroud 11 years later there wasnt physical abuse but very STRONG mental and psychological abuse, tons of guild tripping and gaslighting, and I being female dad didnt give two shits. My mom didnt yer she already "groomed" her in being an obedient housewife while he cheated on her. SHe had dreams of beciming a pharmacist and opening her own pharmacy, but that dream never came true.
      I wish I can say f it all and move out but the amount of crap I put up with I feel worthless and cant do anything at al in my 30s. Phych abuse and emotional abuse is one hell of a thing, and people who never experienced it will always look down on you just like what Brett's doing just because she never experienced it.

    • @blueiepureesteluca
      @blueiepureesteluca Рік тому +32

      I feel the same as you. You gotta feel selfless love for the kid but the decision to make that kid in itself is pretty selfish

    • @mimmikyu4452
      @mimmikyu4452 Рік тому +41

      Exactly, my parents used to tell me "we didn't have much at that time and we still had you" yeah and i was constantly suffering because of that, my father would even refuse to give me money for school and my mom would be the only one paying for everything for me, were it clothes, school supplies or money for food. I would miss out on all of the trips with my class because they were "expensive" I would miss out on gatherings, I would feel ashamed when everyone was getting new clothes and tech and I wasn't.

  • @JesusMyKing31
    @JesusMyKing31 7 місяців тому +32

    I usually agree on almost everything brett says
    But not this.
    Not every woman wants to be a mother and it's not an obligation either

  • @NanaSachi
    @NanaSachi 10 місяців тому +22

    Having a child should be a conscious decision and not just because having kids for the sake of having them. There are a plenty of children in this world that live without the resources that they and the parents need to raise them.

  • @NomadSupreme911
    @NomadSupreme911 Рік тому +885

    Having or not having children has nothing to do with being selfish or unselfish. Framing it that way is overly simplistic.

    • @SingleTax
      @SingleTax Рік тому +41

      If you can't afford to home school, then IMHO it's selfish to want children. But if you can afford to home school, then it's not selfish to either want children or not want them.

    • @GanondorfsWife
      @GanondorfsWife Рік тому +7

      @@SingleTax amen to that!

    • @ShadiC636
      @ShadiC636 Рік тому +8

      They don’t want kids, but they *want* kids.

    • @run2cat4run
      @run2cat4run Рік тому +7

      @@SingleTaxjust homeschool is the best way to brainwash kids

    • @showtime1235
      @showtime1235 Рік тому +17

      tbf most of the reasons ppl listen for not wanting kids WAS selfish

  • @wisehead1830
    @wisehead1830 Рік тому +151

    Honestly, the single life might be a better path for some people. The lifestyle itself of having kids and having a family is positive but the decision to not have children when you don't have the capacity to take care of them is a wise decision and self-aware I wouldn't automatically label it selfish. I am saying this as someone who definitely wants to have children and take care of them. I don't think either decision is selfish or selfless, it's just an overall weird way of looking at that.

    • @bunille
      @bunille 7 місяців тому

      Looking after a child isn't a choice, it's an obligation. Call it selfish or unselfish, but it's domestic abuse. I get where you're coming from but by your logic, that would mean that a mother with a heavily autistic child should just abort it rather than give birth and get help from a professional on how to raise one, or at least give them to another human who has the empathy to raise one, because there are plenty of people who'd be happy taking on that role whilst you go out getting pissed proving you deserve to be locked up for child neglect. Just because you can't look after a normal, healthy kid even at that, which is what we're mainly talking about when it comes to these women, is because you chose not to. Leaving a kid to starve is quite literally selfish, this should be obvious. And ending the kid's life simply because you were planning on neglecting and starving them is the epitome of narcissism, I don't get how you can defend someone who literally admits they'd hurt their kids if they can't kill them.

    • @tommack9395
      @tommack9395 6 місяців тому

      Yes, it's responsibility and high priority, thing is though while such may seem difficult where there is a will there's a way. Family presents so many other rewards.
      Personally for me outweighs any other aspect in my life.

  • @Me_Myself_Maly
    @Me_Myself_Maly 2 місяці тому +7

    Dog, the human race is massive. A baby is born every day. A child is conceived everyday. Someone’s birthday is everyday. The human race will go on.
    We’re supposed to live our own lives. Women have especially fought for that choice. People shouldn’t be judged if they don’t want to extend their bloodline. That’s their choice.

  • @julianbigelow2794
    @julianbigelow2794 4 місяці тому +24

    Selfishness means prioritising your own needs or wants over those of someone else who has an equal or greater steak in the situation. If you choose not to have children, who does it harm? It can't be the child you never had. That child does not exist and does not care if you have them.

  • @pheonixsoldier
    @pheonixsoldier 11 місяців тому +416

    1st off: Love what you do Brett.
    2nd: NOPE. Don't care if its selfish. I'm not good with kids, I don't like kids, never want kids. And nothing is gonna convince me. There's unfit parents out there and you want them to keep having kids. Sounds kinda selfish to me.

    • @hotpotato5209
      @hotpotato5209 10 місяців тому +12

      I don’t think it’s selfish, if that’s your reason. I think people who don’t want kids for reasons like spending more money on themselves is selfish. I think it’s good if you to not have kids, if you know you won’t be able to give them the best life possible.

    • @LightsaberGoBrrrrrr
      @LightsaberGoBrrrrrr 10 місяців тому +5

      I’m not trying to be adversarial just very curious - why aren’t you good with kids? What are the reasons (outside of financial reasons) that you dont want kids?

    • @idioticbagel2833
      @idioticbagel2833 10 місяців тому +8

      me too. i don’t do good with little kids. if i end up with kids when i’m older it will be because i adopted an older child. i am better dealing with snark and the nastiest attitudes and all the other hardships. i don’t know why but that is what i naturally know how to deal with and i love the idea of giving an older kid another chance at a life they deserve. but that’s if i find a man who wants to endure that with me.

    • @neurotic3015
      @neurotic3015 9 місяців тому +4

      No, she didn't say she wants just anyone to have them, especially not someone like you dawg- keep your seed to yourself.

    • @brighid13
      @brighid13 9 місяців тому +3

      I don’t care if people do not have kids but don’t judge people who have kids and say they are selfish and need a license for it. It is good that people who really don’t need to reproduce because they think life is pointless not have kids because they obviously cannot make the world a better place so no thanks to them. It is better they don’t reproduce that mindset. It won’t help humanity evolve.

  • @GenesisCamille
    @GenesisCamille 11 місяців тому +116

    5:30 - “You gotta realize at some point the world doesn’t revolve around you” in the same sense someone else’s decision doesn’t revolve around you.

    • @broony8547
      @broony8547 2 місяці тому +23

      Finally someone said this. This woman is super biased.

    • @dekacchann
      @dekacchann Місяць тому +7

      Literally. That just pissed me off. The world doesn’t revolve around me but I want my life to revolve around me and my life would become utter mess if I’d ever have a child. I’m neurodivergent, I get overstimulated so easily and her being like “Start being responsible and be one family oriented” really sounded tone deaf. Have children if that fulfils you but shame people who don’t want that responsibility is just nasty. We shouldn’t need a special reason to be child free. That woman saying she doesn’t want to spend money on anyone else was valid. So was the woman that likes to go out. People are allowed to not be mentally ready for a child.

    • @julialostetter8855
      @julialostetter8855 Місяць тому +4

      I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but why should that mean I have to make some new people to revolve my life around?

  • @anaaguilar3304
    @anaaguilar3304 11 місяців тому +119

    When ppl shame mom's it absolutely irks me to no end.
    I decided about 15 years ago I didn't want kids and I still stand by my decision, I'm happy.
    I find that when someone is happy there is absolutely no need or even thought of putting someone else down, I feel that the women that shame one another for either having children or not having children are unhappy in some way.

    • @imgiratina4083
      @imgiratina4083 8 місяців тому +6

      Exactly, like I don't want people who do not want kids to be parents, cause obviously in some cases, someone can hate children and obviously you wouldn't want them having children, they would make life for their own child miserable most likely because they hate children. Therefore I get not forcing others to have children. But I do not agree with hating children. No, the people who hate children shouldn't have children, but it shouldn't be okay that they hate children either. Not wanting children for yourself and despising children are entirely different things. Not everyone is called to be a parent, of course.

    • @jragon9215
      @jragon9215 2 місяці тому

      Yea I agree, I’m happy that my money isn’t going to a women for divorce, alimony, and child support.

  • @GameStationZ
    @GameStationZ 3 місяці тому +32

    14:14 no Brett. YOU need to get over yourself. Not everyone is living the type of lifestyle that you do.

    • @ztakahashiyang
      @ztakahashiyang Місяць тому +11

      THIS

    • @alecb3332
      @alecb3332 22 дні тому +2

      No, she should be more bold. My kids will have to pay more money to drag the selfish adult children who never had families to the finish line of their lives. My wife and I make dirt. We live in the highest taxed state in the country. Yet, we have found a way to make it work. Sadly, our kids will be punished for the selfishness of others.

    • @spoonman4024
      @spoonman4024 22 дні тому +2

      ​@alecb3332 I feel you. My wife and I have done it all- built our jobs up, remodeled a home ourselves, had kids, and built our marriage while dealing with health issues. It's been hard but extremely rewarding. When I see my peers whine about wanting "the good life" when most won't make the personal sacrifice to have it while we've done so AND become parents it makes me realize how immature so many people are in our era. It's sad to see.

  • @nancykasten7615
    @nancykasten7615 Рік тому +235

    I personally think that if you don't want children you shouldnt have any but then you don't get to judge people who do.

    • @Chan-md2hb
      @Chan-md2hb Рік тому +103

      works both ways too, if you wanna have children then go ahead but that doesn't give you the right to judge people who don't want children.

    • @nancykasten7615
      @nancykasten7615 Рік тому +28

      @@Chan-md2hb absolutely right

    • @hulkfan97
      @hulkfan97 Рік тому

      I don't judge those who have kids. I just would love to stop being told I'm selfish by this fuckin' channel for not wanting kids

    • @cielizzy8860
      @cielizzy8860 Рік тому +2

      💯%

    • @nuclearwessels2078
      @nuclearwessels2078 Рік тому +19

      I don't have kids. The only parents I judge are the ones the bring crying babies to movie theaters and let them cry it out and those that laugh at their kids when they are misbehaving.

  • @priscillagovender5368
    @priscillagovender5368 Рік тому +296

    Nothing selfish about not wanting kids. People must have kids because they want to have them and can afford to have them.

    • @Tinyelephantsrise
      @Tinyelephantsrise Рік тому +18

      Exactly, privilege people won't understand

    • @timunderbakke8756
      @timunderbakke8756 Рік тому +9

      It is selfish if your motive is to maintain your level of luxury.

    • @priscillagovender5368
      @priscillagovender5368 Рік тому +17

      @@timunderbakke8756 freedom of choice if a person feels that money and luxury is worth more to them it would be selfish to have children as they clearly would not make their children their priority.

    • @MajorMango28
      @MajorMango28 Рік тому +2

      ​@@priscillagovender5368 I simply trust a person with kids more than a person without them.

    • @gigidotto9014
      @gigidotto9014 Рік тому

      Sadly the majority of people that had kids in the past generations is not because they liked kids and were happy even thought they were poor. Thats just a fairy tail lie people stupidly believe. The reason was actually so they were not be alone when they aged.

  • @hannahwollenzin50
    @hannahwollenzin50 10 місяців тому +10

    Why are we criticizing people who don't want kids or who want to wait? Why do you want people who aren't prepared financially or mentally to bring up children when it comes at the expense of that child's well-being? And trust me, PLENTY of people are still having babies. Sometimes 4, 5, or 6 still. So it's dumb to be worried about a population crisis when the world is already overpopulated as it is.

  • @delayedgratification581
    @delayedgratification581 2 місяці тому +8

    I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Childfree and loving it.

  • @vields2352
    @vields2352 Рік тому +826

    We should be supporting people who are self aware enough to realise they are not up to the immense job of raising children to make the decision not to have them.

    • @Stitcheroo2
      @Stitcheroo2 Рік тому +90

      👏👏👏 I 100% agree with u. I personally think that it's incredibly selfish to force your own wants on other people then shame them for not living up to your standard

    • @Stitcheroo2
      @Stitcheroo2 Рік тому +64

      @jaumartinez9006 I'm curious to know what makes me "weak" for supporting people who r mentally mature enough to understand that they shouldn't have kids?

    • @ArgentWolf95
      @ArgentWolf95 Рік тому

      @Jau Martinez and here we go with the purity spiral BS. Who elected you, Fuhrer Martinez?

    • @ArgentWolf95
      @ArgentWolf95 Рік тому

      @Jau Martinez okay edgelord. So it's become a terrorist or you're weak eh? That's the braindead logic you're talking here.

    • @Stitcheroo2
      @Stitcheroo2 Рік тому +49

      @jaumartinez9006 ok what does that have to do with wanting/not wanting kids? What does that have to do with ANYONE relating to this context?

  • @becorations1
    @becorations1 Рік тому +247

    I agree that “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Some folks just need to mature…others shouldn’t have them at all. Haven’t you met people that should never have reproduced? Almost 30 years in law enforcement showed me that it’s not for everyone. For me, it’s the best thing I ever did! ❤

    • @Superbatmanbro
      @Superbatmanbro Рік тому +3

      Amen

    • @ruffusgoodman4137
      @ruffusgoodman4137 Рік тому +14

      Birth rate drops are a blessing, not a problem. Smart people will know better. Let chaotic people die out of the genetic pool

    • @Luciothecommenter
      @Luciothecommenter Рік тому +18

      @@ruffusgoodman4137 Sadly, the chaotic ones are reproducing like rabbits

    • @ruffusgoodman4137
      @ruffusgoodman4137 Рік тому

      @@Luciothecommenter True... True. But some are getting held back from it, either with abortion or merely social pressure like demonstrated on videos.
      The poorest are indeed reproducing like ants, but feminazi and the like will slowly fall out of the pool in 2 or 3 generations.
      The indoctrination will pull more and more from the chaotic groups towards this or maybe the LGBT agenda so I still look at it as a win.
      The key strategy here is to keep your eyes open and pay attention to their schemes and if we play our cards right, this will end up helping us instead of wiping our families out like they want.
      I know this sounds cruel, but life is cruel, not us.

    • @ArgentWolf95
      @ArgentWolf95 Рік тому

      @@ruffusgoodman4137 stupidity is not genetic.
      Every generation there will always be stupid people. They're just more influencial now because of social media. Brith rate drops aren't a blessing, but also not the global doom spoken of here either.

  • @PeterPan-fg4uj
    @PeterPan-fg4uj 10 місяців тому +13

    TLDR: having kids is NOT easy and maybe not as fulfilling as some might think, unless you are bored
    As a father of a 2-year-old boy, I can also say: having kids is a gigantic challenge. Of course, each kid is unique, so this might not be true for everyone, but our son was veeery needy (yes, every child is, but also in comparison to other kids). And he had about a full year (from 6 month to 18 month) where he was waking up screaming at least once in the night, which means the nerves are on edge 24/7... a full year because we got 2-4 hours of sleep a day ("psychological torture" comes into mind)
    So I can see how this can break a lot of partnerships, even if you think you are doing fine until then.
    With the age of 30 I felt I was ready for it and now I kind of regret it, because before I was perfectly happy, and now I'm not.
    But I will stay strong because no one could raise my child better than us (my mantra to keep me going).
    On the other hand, if I didn't have a kid, I wouldn't know and probably would regret not having it.
    But wanting everyone to have kids, while thinking most people are idiots, does not fit for me. My wife works in kinder garden, and she says people should have a license (like driver's license) for having kids. Because idiots are bad parents and create more idiots.

  • @laurawallis7093
    @laurawallis7093 2 місяці тому +5

    I am 44 and made the decision at 20 to never have children. I have never regreted that decision. Not everyone wants kids.

  • @PuffyAmiYumi
    @PuffyAmiYumi Рік тому +238

    Don't want kids? Don't have kids. To say it's selfish is the most ridiculous thing.
    Equally don't shame those for wanting kids/having kids.

    • @laurence-tw7su
      @laurence-tw7su Рік тому +12

      Exactly! If you want kids, habevthem, if you don't, just don't.

    • @lyndseywilliams3618
      @lyndseywilliams3618 Рік тому

      Yup

    • @jord3000
      @jord3000 Рік тому +6

      Exactly, it shouldn’t be a debate. People just wanna argue and try to control that’s what all of the debating comes from.

    • @neonk2222
      @neonk2222 Рік тому +1

      It's also very narrow minded and ignores the fact there are countless things we can do to help each other and society.

    • @xMaoxoaMx
      @xMaoxoaMx Рік тому

      i wouldnt call it selfish, just sad.
      Most of these "empowered" people that decide against children will have a life of loneliness ahead of them.

  • @italianextravirginoliveoil
    @italianextravirginoliveoil Рік тому +433

    I personally don't have an issue with people wanting to be childless, especially in this economy. I think when the western world becomes more affordable, more people will want children again.

    • @run2cat4run
      @run2cat4run Рік тому +52

      Or it got nothing to do with money and really don’t want kids

    • @bolinsun9565
      @bolinsun9565 Рік тому +40

      The economy sucks, but people living in the Western world are still significantly better off than in other parts of the world. Maybe it's the lifestyle that needs to become more affordable?

    • @frankroque7597
      @frankroque7597 Рік тому

      It’s pretty sad when people can’t afford to procreate huh? Then you get fucked up children from people who should have never had any👽🤚🏻

    • @rebeccaconlon9743
      @rebeccaconlon9743 Рік тому +26

      Being a parent myself and expecting my 2nd soon, money has nothing in it. You can afford to raise a child, teenagers are the most expensive part. But if money was a problem, you wouldn't see 3rd world countries out numbering the 1st world in population

    • @bradspitt3896
      @bradspitt3896 Рік тому +3

      Having kids must be normal, so not having kids can't be normalized or encouraged.

  • @ozzymarley1010
    @ozzymarley1010 11 місяців тому +91

    Brett L take on this. If you do not want to have kids so you can live your life without that massive lifelong burden that is completely 100% ok! Why would I sacrifice so much for something I absolutely do not want?

    • @barnaby4232
      @barnaby4232 10 місяців тому +5

      Because it’s your duty as a human being, if people don’t have children the population collapses.

    • @jorgeandrade783
      @jorgeandrade783 8 місяців тому +27

      @@barnaby4232Who cares? Sometimes you gotta put your own wants and needs before the needs of the universe plus, there’s 7 billion people on this planet. The population isn’t gonna die out any time soon

    • @alliahfrancis152
      @alliahfrancis152 8 місяців тому +2

      ​@@barnaby4232even if it does it will probably just even out over time. The replacement level that is needed will be less

    • @asgrim1513
      @asgrim1513 8 місяців тому +8

      @@barnaby4232 the population is still on a daily rise.

    • @rooniemand2236
      @rooniemand2236 8 місяців тому +18

      @@barnaby4232it’s my duty as a human? Wtf you guys are wack

  • @T207ra
    @T207ra 9 місяців тому +6

    Childless women can be happy too, even happier than women with children. Why is this even a question.

    • @andynorvell4953
      @andynorvell4953 9 місяців тому +1

      Because misery loves company..Me n my gf are childfree n happy..tho her bros n sissis seem jealous..we do what the hell we want when we want..and they cant..her sis tell us we need a baby when she standing there with a screaming baby with a loaded diaper..NO THANKS..

    • @andrew2477
      @andrew2477 28 днів тому +1

      @@andynorvell4953 😂 I love this comment. You keep doing you bro. Let them stay jealous.

  • @menanmate2006
    @menanmate2006 Рік тому +60

    As a big fan of this channel I hate to say it but this video feels extremely disrespectful towards people who just simply don’t want kids. Not everyone wants them and yet Brett comes across really condescending towards those people in the videos. Idk man something about this video feels really really condescending

    • @renflower1910
      @renflower1910 10 місяців тому +9

      Because she is being condescending to the people who didn't want to have kids for any reason. It's so gross and weird and in the beginning she was going on about people shaming others for wanting to have kids.

  • @pandoraarts7748
    @pandoraarts7748 Рік тому +390

    It's ok to not want children, It's ok to want children. What is not ok is forcing your opinions and views on another person. You have no idea why they have their views or what is happening in their own life.

    • @Kathakathan11
      @Kathakathan11 Рік тому +28

      Absolutely, in this economy & society, some people should not have kids & look at the population numbers in 🇺🇸

    • @lavabean_loves_BTS
      @lavabean_loves_BTS Рік тому +3

      This 👏

    • @4ngerInducingPills
      @4ngerInducingPills Рік тому +2

      Preach!,I want children I will not push to my friend who doesn’t want children see logic

    • @Kwisatz-Chaderach
      @Kwisatz-Chaderach Рік тому +5

      We force our opinions on other people all the time. For example "You cannot kill people" is something that certain people don't agree with, but we do it anyways.

    • @Kwisatz-Chaderach
      @Kwisatz-Chaderach Рік тому +5

      ​@@Kathakathan11people have had children in worse times, and there is no population crisis unless you're talking about the birth rates.

  • @geraldinedanin1262
    @geraldinedanin1262 7 місяців тому +12

    Tbh it's not about taking responsibility and getting it together. Financially, it's just really tough right now to even go from month to month looking after yourself/partner/pet. A child is very expensive and if you don't have a support system, like parents to babysit/help out, or inheriting a trust fund or a house, it's really rough. I understand why young people would rather not sign up for a life of struggle and suffering until they're ready, just for the sake of 'legacy.' Being ready to devote yourself to your child is so much better and healthier for the child than bringing someone into the world, only to not raise them right, or be unable to give them what they need. If anything, waiting is selfless. Rushing is selfish.

  • @wolfamongsheep3032
    @wolfamongsheep3032 4 місяці тому +6

    I hate to say it, but Brett is forgetting one very important FACT that she cannot deny with any 'science'. That fact is... you only got one life. Once you are gone, you are gone. There is no do over.
    So, its only logical that many people would want to live to enjoy themselves since they csn only do it oncem

  • @severia24
    @severia24 Рік тому +403

    brett: "people could have kids when they're ready for it"(paraphrased)
    also brett:-laughs at a guy who's waiting till he's 35 atleast-

    • @ns8bl
      @ns8bl 11 місяців тому +48

      That’s not the best age to have a child. I have a 60 year old dad and I’m 15, I love him very much, but having him be younger would be nicer

    • @severia24
      @severia24 11 місяців тому +22

      @@ns8bl there is no best age for men, only for women

    • @jacksonglass3447
      @jacksonglass3447 11 місяців тому +49

      @@severia24it dose help to have a dad that can actually spend time with you and play ball or go for walks. That is a major part of childhood development and it is so important that some schools are extending recess time to allow more time for kids to be out and moving

    • @severia24
      @severia24 11 місяців тому +9

      @@jacksonglass3447 yes which is possible up to 50, but because most Americans are unhealthy, They Don't Really last past 35 or 40 when it comes to being active at all

    • @jacksonglass3447
      @jacksonglass3447 11 місяців тому +2

      @@severia24 true.

  • @andreaarmandi9456
    @andreaarmandi9456 Рік тому +326

    "Stop shaming women who want to have children!" cries childless wealthy career-focus young woman before starting shaming women who don't want to have children.

    • @adityaronanki4682
      @adityaronanki4682 Рік тому +24

      She probably intends to have children soon enough 🙄

    • @nikkichavez8418
      @nikkichavez8418 Рік тому +6

      Sure she will

    • @audreyandremington5265
      @audreyandremington5265 11 місяців тому

      ​@adityaronanki4682 if she's not married by the time she's 25, all the conservative men won't want her because she'll be "expired goods"

    • @kant.68
      @kant.68 10 місяців тому +5

      She’s 21

    • @ll2323
      @ll2323 10 місяців тому

      The irony! She’s another pearlythings, talks shit about the things they actually embody.

  • @mareau5502
    @mareau5502 9 місяців тому +7

    This is the first time i disagree with Bret. I want kids but i certainly support women who choose not to. We have a different world now. People have traumas that yes, they have not overcome, and yes they should choose not to let that trauma be passed on to another human being. I do not think it is being selfish to choose the life that you think you can survive in. If people are not ready for a family, then they should not be shamed for waiting. The reason that some of our generation is messed up is because there were “forced parents” in the generation before us.

  • @danlarsson9611
    @danlarsson9611 9 місяців тому +11

    There's pros and cons to both. Me, personally, I've always wanted kids and my daughter is 16 now, but they're people that don't want kids and want to live without kids and that's fine.

  • @mc1991
    @mc1991 Рік тому +284

    It’s not selfish. Some women can’t have kids. Some women chose not to have kids with the wrong partner. It’s not fair to shame moms and it’s not fair to shame non moms.

    • @renet8
      @renet8 Рік тому +15

      If anyone is saying, it’s selfish to a woman who cannot physically have kids then that’s wrong but that’s not what we’re talking about here.

    • @Rikk1825
      @Rikk1825 Рік тому +5

      "a WomAN cAN dO no wRoNG"

    • @somecallmeTim-wi6pr
      @somecallmeTim-wi6pr Рік тому +8

      who said that a woman that physically cannot have kids is selfish? it's heartbreaking when a woman wants kids, but for whatever reason she can't.
      No one is saying that woman is a bad person.

    • @maxymaxy32
      @maxymaxy32 Рік тому +14

      @@Rikk1825 your name says all the insecurities anyone needs to know

    • @angelao4110
      @angelao4110 Рік тому +21

      I’m a woman who can’t have kids but when someone asks I just say I don’t want kids because it’s so much easier than getting into personal details about my health and getting emotional with someone. So when people say it’s selfish to not want kids, they are including women who can’t have kids.

  • @MintakaSaiph
    @MintakaSaiph Рік тому +157

    I hate this question when I keep hearing the absolute worst child neglect and abuse cases that shock even the police. If you’ve made the self determination that you are not emotionally, physically, financially, psychologically prepared to have children; don’t. They’re not an experiment on how well you will be as an unprepared parent. Don’t judge. People have had horrific childhoods and just don’t want to replicate it.
    It is such a huge undertaking. You need to be ready for anything and everything.
    Find other ways to be selfless and contribute to society:

    • @robertbusek30
      @robertbusek30 Рік тому +5

      If a man or woman are in such a situation, then they should not have kids. They should also be self-aware enough not to engage in sexual intercourse in order to make sure that they do not conceive a child. That’s the part of this question that no one seem to want to address…

    • @kingrobotnik6950
      @kingrobotnik6950 Рік тому +13

      Ignore Robert. Dude, doesn’t know what a vasectomy is…

    • @JordanRivers-hx2lr
      @JordanRivers-hx2lr Рік тому +1

      You couldnt function any fraction of a day without using judgment. Ha. And btw, we are called to judge; to make right judgments. Do not judge by mere appearances or a false standard. Fyi we will be judging those false lying spirits. Tc.

    • @nuclearwessels2078
      @nuclearwessels2078 Рік тому +12

      Yes! It is people who choose to have kida and abuse or neglect them that are the selfish ones.

    • @kalen2465
      @kalen2465 Рік тому +5

      Some people just shouldn't have kids. People like Andrea Yates, Octomom, and that lady nicknamed Doomsday mom. I forgot the guy's name but, one guy burned down his house. He decided that if he couldn't have the kids, no one would.

  • @andreivoinescu9364
    @andreivoinescu9364 2 місяці тому +5

    you can be selfish by not wanting kids to work on your career and live a burden free life. you can be selfish by having kids just because you want a 'mini me' or to push them to do the things you couldn't achieve in life. you can be selfless by not having kids to dump your trauma onto them. you could be selfless by having a child that could get fulfilment in life or for the sake of keeping a stable society. it is a very nuanced topic that doesn't have a definite answer. every person should do as they please without being judged

  • @katiez688
    @katiez688 4 місяці тому +5

    People have children because they WANT to.

    • @GameStationZ
      @GameStationZ 3 місяці тому +1

      or have them anyway because they feel obligated to, which is stupid.

  • @sam.44400
    @sam.44400 Рік тому +69

    The argument of “you’ll be lonely and have no one to visit you in the nursing home” is so tired. There’s a lot of elderly folks who have kids that have gone no contact and don’t visit them. Let people choose if they want kids or not without demonizing each side. I don’t understand why people care so much about what strangers choose to do with their lives, it’s weird.

    • @robertbusek30
      @robertbusek30 Рік тому +1

      Generally, I agree with you about choosing. However, in my experience, most of the “childfree” supporters are also very big supporters of the cradle-to-grave welfare state, which can only be funded by a growing population. In other words, they want their social security payments, but they don’t want to have kids to pay for it.

    • @sam.44400
      @sam.44400 Рік тому

      @Olivia Meyers Yes! Like please give me something else I’m BORED!

    • @pamm2652
      @pamm2652 Рік тому

      Depending on how to raise them. Did you actually get to know them? Did you spend time with them? Did you talk them up or down? They are less likely to spend time with you in the nursing home. If they grow up feeling like you just don't care or always talking down on them.

    • @sam.44400
      @sam.44400 Рік тому +2

      @@pamm2652 Those are great points and why not everyone is fit to be a parent. And that is okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s people like myself who are going through life healing and unlearning behaviors because we were raised by parents that shouldn’t have been parents to begin with.

    • @mo.ka.9661
      @mo.ka.9661 Рік тому

      There aren't alot of people in the nursing homes, and they ususally deserve to be there

  • @promero14
    @promero14 Рік тому +177

    Ok wtf Brett? Having a family is a choice. If you want them cool, if you don't also cool.

    • @beans4853
      @beans4853 11 місяців тому +14

      True. The concept of making a good choice and a bad choice still exists simultaneously

  • @anti-lifeequation1683
    @anti-lifeequation1683 10 місяців тому +7

    My dad is 50 years old about to be 51 and has one 27 year old daughter.I'm about to be 17 and my brother is 18.For the past years he has recommended us to have children when we are mid 30s.I'm siding with him on that rather than her saying saying having kids at 35 is a stretch and selfish.

  • @NeUrOmAnCeRAI
    @NeUrOmAnCeRAI 7 місяців тому +6

    It's selfish to have kids.

  • @IsmaelCiulla
    @IsmaelCiulla Рік тому +187

    Short answer: No it’s not
    If you don’t want kids then that’s fine
    But if you do then that’s ok too
    It’s all a matter of preference

    • @cooliipie
      @cooliipie Рік тому +8

      I've only heard HAVING kids IS SELFISH.

    • @IsmaelCiulla
      @IsmaelCiulla Рік тому +6

      @@cooliipie damn that sucks

    • @angelinarobbins1567
      @angelinarobbins1567 Рік тому

      yeah exactly

    • @shelbyspeaks3287
      @shelbyspeaks3287 Рік тому

      Nope, that's when you can even out the amount of people having kids not when it's a necessity to have them because people would rather fuck and get abortions.

    • @willowthelyxra
      @willowthelyxra Рік тому +5

      Finally, someone who isn't saying "I hate responsibility" because I don't want kids 😭😭

  • @xcrunner417
    @xcrunner417 Рік тому +209

    I’ve watched and agreed with a lot of Brett’s videos, but I’m going to have to pass on this one. I feel like I did the “right things” to be successful in life- good grades and doing extracurriculars at school, went to college and graduated early, and went to grad school. I came onto the job market at the very end of 2013 and beginning of Jan 2014 and it was the most frustrating process. I probably applied close to 100+ jobs between late Dec 2013-May 2015, waking away with only a few interviews and more rejections I ever imagined possible. I ended up working as a dining room server at a Brookdale Senior Living community for $9.05/hr because I desperately needed to be employed. Although I lived at home with my parents, I paid for everything I needed with my own money (with the exception of some groceries) and was not able to save any money because $9.05/hr for 25-30 hours per week is not a lot. When I finally got a “real” job that paid $14/hr, I had a long commute and it ended being a toxic work place that took an immense toll on my mental health (along with other difficult, personal things going on in my life) that I spiraled into a horrible depression. I changed jobs and went to $17/hr, still with a commute, that also quickly became a toxic place to work and further deteriorated my mental health. I found a new job for $17.19/hr that was a much more supportive place to work. Then, my boyfriend (now husband) and I moved to Wisconsin from IL. I found a wonderful job in a new field and started end of Jan 2020. Cue the pandemic. I went from FT to PT in a matter of 5-6 months (I worked as a nursing home social worker) due to low census. I unfortunately was never able to regain FT hours and was laid off Feb 2021. I went on unemployment through mid-May 2021, but never received my unemployment checks until AFTER I started with a new job (that I am still currently at), so I went 12-13 weeks without any income. If my husband didn’t have the income he had at the time, we would have had to sell our house and move back in with our parents. My husband has a much higher paying job than mine (community case worker) and even with our combined income, it’s just enough to get by sometimes. We want at least one kid, but financially it would be very tight. We’re both 31 and work FT. So it’s not selfish to not want kids. I did the things I was supposed and followed the rules and am NOT in a position to bring a kid into my/our life without hardship. It’s not fair to me, my husband, or our future child to bring them into instability when we don’t HAVE to. Brett, you are very intelligent and mature, but are still so young with a lot of life to live. Please don’t shame others for not having the “traditional” lifestyle because that is the “right” way for society. Stop telling people they need to “get it together” you’re xyz age and should have moved past abc trauma. I’ve been in therapy and I do the work, but not everyone has the same opportunity. Kudos to those who are self aware to know their limitations.

    • @talco881
      @talco881 10 місяців тому +42

      This is real life right here, This is called life experience. She doesn't have that yet.

    • @roguephilosopher2465
      @roguephilosopher2465 10 місяців тому +21

      @@talco881 100% . Also, there are so many comments agreeing with her points its frustrating

    • @cherylknepper5921
      @cherylknepper5921 10 місяців тому +3

      @@missionlight7492don’t blame yourself when your children aren’t perfect or not as you expect. You did your best and that is all anyone can expect of you. Once adults those little buggers become autonomous and make their own decisions, sometimes not what you want. I still love them and as someone said, grandchildren are the reward for not killing your teenagers. 😂 It’s a joke of course for anyone taking everything so seriously, but grands are amazing.

    • @idioticbagel2833
      @idioticbagel2833 10 місяців тому +10

      she was dealt a good hand and played them very well. not everyone can be influencers and be successful the world would crumble at that. this generation is doomed. hopefully by the next one the government will have evened things out. this isn’t the first time inflation has happened nor will it be the last. we just have to live the best life we can with or without kids.

    • @pingouin7
      @pingouin7 9 місяців тому +14

      Wow this is a real tough life story. I hope that Brett reads it and learns from it.

  • @pla4825
    @pla4825 Місяць тому +4

    You want people to have kids cause it make you happy. That doesn’t mean that other people need to have kids to be happy. Some parents actually regret having their kids

    • @dannavalentin46
      @dannavalentin46 15 днів тому

      Like how my mom regrets having me, she didn’t want me to suffer but here I am

  • @antinatalistwitch111
    @antinatalistwitch111 3 місяці тому +12

    So let me get this straight.
    As a woman, I should risk my health and life to carry a child to a 9 month term & put myself in extreme pain just to provide a human cog for "society" without any financial compensation (I live in the united states) ( and no the little tax breaks parents receive is NOT enough, nor is the food stamps, medicaid or wic is NOT enough when parents are out here fighting for these benefits)
    When on the other hand this "society" has never done one single thing for me without expecting either direct or indirect financial compensation.
    Hell, I can't even go to the beach in South Florida without having to compensate the city just to park.
    For a longgggg time this world has been ran by government tyrants who want to use our existence to live wealthy lifestyles. If resources were equally shared amoung everyone, more people would see having a child as a duty to continue this loving existence, but that is not what this world is and it is not what it will ever be (expecting future generations to fix this is not only selfish but delusional)

  • @fredstone4395
    @fredstone4395 Рік тому +425

    Brett could have a kid now if she wanted considering she just bought a house.. Not everyone is as successful in life as she is at 21.

    • @stephanicrandall7797
      @stephanicrandall7797 Рік тому +44

      You don't need a house to have kids. Trust me; I would know. I've had my first (and soon my second) while renting.
      Babies are really not as expensive as people say.

    • @tiffanymorningstar7008
      @tiffanymorningstar7008 Рік тому +71

      ​@@stephanicrandall7797 you're not guaranteed a healthy, able child tho. These things make prices go up a lot. Also, they could be born healthy and able and something happen.

    • @stephanicrandall7797
      @stephanicrandall7797 Рік тому +14

      @@tiffanymorningstar7008 Of course always a possibility; but unlikely.

    • @CamoLoTiProd
      @CamoLoTiProd Рік тому +18

      Yes, but she's waiting for the man she was made for. I would rather her wait for that man and then get a child

    • @Mason58654
      @Mason58654 Рік тому +36

      She should find a supportive committed husband first.

  • @daniellelevine9638
    @daniellelevine9638 Рік тому +81

    I don’t want kids. So what????? would you rather me have unwanted children? Not everybody wants to be a parent. That’s a hard job for the rest of your life. That’s a huge commitment not everybody’s cut out for it. but people flexing about not wanting kids is where is problematic.

    • @andrew2477
      @andrew2477 28 днів тому

      Yup its crazy. They would rather you have unwanted children to abuse, mistreat, and malnourish, than to not have children at all. "She doesn't want children, the horror! Oh my god! You are a horrible person!" 😂 these people are absolute lunatics.

  • @qwmx
    @qwmx 11 місяців тому +17

    You're not a selfless hero if you brought in a child and raise a kid, that's part and parcel of doing your job as a parent. It's like a dog owner saying he's a selfless hero for budgeting for dog food for his dog. Any parent who thinks that clearly never thought about helping already existing people before.

    • @bunille
      @bunille 7 місяців тому

      And can you prove your point by saying you have adopted some kids and raise them?

  • @birdybirdbird
    @birdybirdbird 25 днів тому +3

    I’ve never wanted children because I came from a really dysfunctional and abusive family. My childhood gave me a lot of problems in my adulthood, but I’m nearly 40 now and have been on a healing journey for years. I feel I finally have enough love and stability to give a child, so my husband and I have been talking seriously about adopting. People have treated me so horribly and made assumptions about why I never even considered having children until now, but they don’t know my story. Be kind.

    • @dannavalentin46
      @dannavalentin46 15 днів тому

      I’m sorry u went thru all that, u didn’t deserve it, but hopefully things will go well for u 🥺🥺

  • @Lunadrako
    @Lunadrako Рік тому +212

    Oh Brett, as smart as you are at your age, some adults don't have the help they need and take longer to fully recover and know themselves and steady their lives. I've grown up seeing it, I recently turned 30 and my parents are still together and are miserable together. My sisters still never got their lives together (one is in their 40s and the other is right there) and choosing whether or not to have kids shouldn't be shamed, if people know they just aren't parent material, that in itself is a smart decision. And people who know they want kids, then at least they will love them.

    • @user-oo4hw1zf5j
      @user-oo4hw1zf5j 11 місяців тому +15

      I agree. I felt a jab in the gut when she said by 35 you should get off tik tok and find someone to marry. I am over 35 and still haven't gotten it together. I was in a few long term relationships and marriage just never happened. I have multiple (female and male) friends my age in the same boat. My parents are still together and also miserable together. I will never have kids and it was not by choice, it just never happened for me.

    • @Lunadrako
      @Lunadrako 10 місяців тому +2

      @missionlight7492 I'd say it's best not to "see" if you're a good parent or not, a child's mentality and future would be at stake.

    • @CheerfullyCynical829
      @CheerfullyCynical829 10 місяців тому +7

      She’s a tad smarter than the average 20 year old. Not by all that much, honestly.

    • @brandonstaples7300
      @brandonstaples7300 9 місяців тому

      The channel thinking ape would totally critique her ass.

    • @moralay79
      @moralay79 9 місяців тому +8

      @@CheerfullyCynical829she’s not smarter, she’s just a traditionalist and that is NOT a synonym of smart lol

  • @-12Sided
    @-12Sided Рік тому +322

    Easy for you to say Brett. You have more than 6 figures, and are getting a house. You are set and most are not.

    • @irislilly7515
      @irislilly7515 Рік тому +112

      Yeah...I mean I like this girl but she can be damned ignorant about how hard it is for the average working millennial to own a house, let alone successfully have one parent stay at home to positively influence their children enough.

    • @cheeryberrie
      @cheeryberrie Рік тому +93

      Based on her logic, she's the most selfish woman because she doesn't have kids right now

    • @AK255.
      @AK255. Рік тому

      You don't need to have a perfect life to have kids. Go look at 3rd world countries like Africa. Higher birthrate despite the world problems and quality of life issues. This is more of a perfectionist problem to actually grow up as a individual. If u got a billion people having kids with no issues it sounds like a u problem.

    • @-12Sided
      @-12Sided Рік тому +24

      @@AK255. You should be prepared for a kid. You should be in a good mental state, a stable job. Kids are expensive.

    • @cindyndeda532
      @cindyndeda532 Рік тому +6

      ​@@AK255. Africa isn't a country.

  • @djstuntfox
    @djstuntfox 2 місяці тому +6

    Why can't everyone mind their own business? Other people having or not having kids doesn't effect me at the slightest.

  • @shuu992
    @shuu992 5 місяців тому +6

    I just watched 4 of your videos after each other and subscribed because I was so interested in how you think and it was like a new pov for me that I want to learn from. I'm not putting any expectations, but I got sad when you said that adults should stop buying legos and toys and instead "be responsible".. it really got to me in a negative way and that is my own fault for being someone who gets affected easily, you're just stating your opinion which is valid. I'm a 31 year old teacher and I consider myself very responsible towards my students and I protect them with everything I got. I grew up in a tough environment and my past kid self didn't get the things I always wanted. As an adult now, when I buy toys and plushies, they make me happy and I love them. It's a harmless hobby that has nothing to do with how responsible I am. I'm not typing this comment to prove myself, I just wanted to mention an example that you might've not thought about when you said that. At the end, I respect your own opinion and you have a nice way of saying things and educating people.

  • @laurariverat
    @laurariverat Рік тому +63

    There are so many things I don’t agree with from Brett’s point of views.
    Everyone has different experiences, people grow up in different places, have different cultures.. how is everyone expected to have the same goals and paths and the same timeline in life?😅

    • @barnaby4232
      @barnaby4232 10 місяців тому

      If most people don’t have children though then that’s really bad for society though

    • @mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910
      @mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 4 місяці тому

      @@barnaby4232 in that situation it should be strictly against the law to not have kids as it affects others

    • @JasmineWhylly
      @JasmineWhylly 14 днів тому

      @@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 it doesn't affect nobody to have no kids, if that happens you shouldn't be forcing women to have kids that's just cruel and wrong

    • @mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910
      @mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 13 днів тому

      @@JasmineWhylly it should be illegal for adults to use any bounce houses or even buy one

    • @JasmineWhylly
      @JasmineWhylly 13 днів тому

      @@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 What kind of logic is that

  • @amirc.6146
    @amirc.6146 Рік тому +71

    The one thing that annoys me is when they ask "are you happy". We will never be truly happy and satisfied in life. We just need to create lives that are good enough for us to live in, whether children are involved or not.

  • @theapexpredator157
    @theapexpredator157 7 місяців тому +20

    We don't have an obligation to reproduce...

    • @mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910
      @mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 4 місяці тому

      We kinda do though

    • @theapexpredator157
      @theapexpredator157 4 місяці тому

      Oh, in order to keep the species alive you mean?@@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910

    • @GameStationZ
      @GameStationZ 3 місяці тому +7

      @@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 No we don't. Not everyone has the means to be a parent.

    • @Ruhrohraggy23345
      @Ruhrohraggy23345 3 місяці тому +5

      @@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 biblical no we don’t. God supports single people aswell.

    • @andrew2477
      @andrew2477 28 днів тому

      @@mixedfeelingsaboutturning1910 No we don't but please feel free to enlighten us with something you know that we don't.

  • @edwardbrock3807
    @edwardbrock3807 8 місяців тому +5

    They nailed the part about decision fatigue. This is absolutely true, ive dealt with this since i was little and it sucks, sometime you wont make a decision or it passes u by; in this modern world of options this is super bad! Its unfullfilling, in your 20s its cool but in my 30s things started to rust. 38 now and im looking at my collections and adventures and feeling its time to box em up; the party is over, this cant be an adult's life. Like i said before its not about children, its about sacrificing something to contribute, if youre not gonna have kids, then ya gotta dedicate life to something more, it wont be fun, it wont be easy, but it will be rewarding; otherwise we will continue to roam this planet lost and unfulfilled, living simply for the next "hit"

  • @ladygrace5428
    @ladygrace5428 Рік тому +113

    I do not want children. As a young woman, I am often bashed for it and told "You'll change your mind, you don't know what you want", etc. "What I want" aside, I know myself well enough to know that I would not make a good mother. I am an oldest sister, I have babysat my siblings and other kids for years, and I have multiple jobs that all involve children. I have extensive childcare experience and know that I could not possibly handle having to be a child's caregiver 24/7. However, I have many friends, siblings, and people close to me who want kids, and I encourage the heck out of them. I will *never* try to dissuade someone from having children..please do it so I don't have to lol! Support people who want children, and support people who don't. Let people make informed decisions based on their personalities, circumstances, and experiences. Love and light 💛

    • @ArgentWolf95
      @ArgentWolf95 Рік тому +32

      a lot of Conservatives are starting to forget not everyone is the same as well. Collectivism blinds people to individuality.

    • @ladygrace5428
      @ladygrace5428 Рік тому +14

      @@ArgentWolf95 Exactly. What works for some does not work for all.

    • @ArgentWolf95
      @ArgentWolf95 Рік тому +9

      @@ladygrace5428 I'm also one who has no plans for kids either (my comment is somewhere)

    • @cielizzy8860
      @cielizzy8860 Рік тому +6

      Same here, sister, after seeing the utter chaos and exhausting commitment children take with my nieces and nephews, I know I could not handle it. However, I support my sister 100%.

    • @ladygrace5428
      @ladygrace5428 Рік тому +8

      @@cielizzy8860 Yessss!!! I can’t wait to spoil the heck out of my future nieces and nephews…then give them back to my siblings at the end of the day 😂

  • @ChristineVress
    @ChristineVress Рік тому +129

    No its not selfish....anyone who says its selfish is ignorant
    Why are people so obsessed with other peoples private decisions ?

    • @jessehanks2816
      @jessehanks2816 Рік тому +17

      That's a darn good question and a good point

    • @Jurassicat_
      @Jurassicat_ Рік тому +6

      I think it’s not about the individual decision, but more the decisions of the mass. It can still have a huge effect on the environment, society and the surroundings in general if a lot of people choose the same in private. Not saying people aren’t allowed to make decisions in private, I’m just saying it might have a huge impact.

    • @TheGoldenLady15
      @TheGoldenLady15 Рік тому +12

      I was literally called a selfish and terrible person in the comments of the video for stating that I love children but feel I'm unfit to have them myself. Why does it matter to anyone else? Support those who want them and support those who don't. We don't ask people who want kids why they want them, why not?

    • @jessehanks2816
      @jessehanks2816 Рік тому

      @@TheGoldenLady15 That's because the person that called you that is an idiot. Full on idiot. You know what's selfish? Trying to convince someone to have children or bully them into it because YOU want them to have kids. Don't worry bout the person that called you selfish. It's not selfish to not have kids by choice. Smh.

    • @valorie444
      @valorie444 Рік тому

      "Conservatives" are becoming the people they hate: complaining ,whining, lack of individuality etc lol

  • @lillianpilto2377
    @lillianpilto2377 4 місяці тому +3

    It’s not selfish, their body, their life, their choice. So many people have had children they didn’t want and those children grow up knowing they weren’t really wanted. But keep it your choice, don’t condemn others who do want children. It’s oke to not want to babysit or be around them, and to make it clear you don’t want to be pushed to be a childcare provider, but don’t make people feel shameful for having kids they wanted.

  • @VannaMae
    @VannaMae 11 місяців тому +5

    I spent my 20's being childfree traveling the world and honestly being selfish, putting my needs first. Now I met the right partner and we both want children, Im have to sacrifice alot of my own pleasures to prepare for the future so they can have a good life when we are ready. That I would consider that being selfless, like my parents who sacrificed there money, time, dedication to raise me and my siblings.

  • @melissahaslett
    @melissahaslett Рік тому +354

    The abuse I've received for not wanting to have kids over the years has made me very sure in my decision. I've never wanted to and I'm over being called selfish.

    • @Superbatmanbro
      @Superbatmanbro Рік тому +38

      You have a point and if people are calling you selfish ,their just being dicks and annoying

    • @jamiemaxcold9325
      @jamiemaxcold9325 Рік тому +5

      Same

    • @harrylongabaugh7402
      @harrylongabaugh7402 Рік тому +7

      It's the epitome of selfishness.

    • @penmaster003
      @penmaster003 Рік тому +9

      It’s not abuse just because people disagree with you and push back on your selfishness.

    • @penmaster003
      @penmaster003 Рік тому +4

      @@robyngatomon1991 The future of society is not “completely stupid.” Your argument is selfish and ignorant.

  • @barbarnyak
    @barbarnyak Рік тому +264

    It's not an obligation! It's a choice!

    • @douglaslee7034
      @douglaslee7034 Рік тому +6

      Thank you

    • @Goldenmid974
      @Goldenmid974 Рік тому +1

      Exactly

    • @NewGothOnTheBlock
      @NewGothOnTheBlock Рік тому +7

      Exactly! As long as you’re making the right choices for yourself and don’t shame or insult people who’ve made different choices. Goes both ways 🙂

    • @robertbusek30
      @robertbusek30 Рік тому +11

      Yes, it is a choice…until a child is actually conceived. Then parenthood becomes an obligation.

    • @JoJoZaka
      @JoJoZaka Рік тому +2

      @@robertbusek30 nah. adoption lmao

  • @nhartigan72
    @nhartigan72 4 місяці тому +5

    In this time, the way that America is today, unless you're very wealthy, it seems quite selfish to purposely try to have children.

  • @Strega4646
    @Strega4646 7 місяців тому +5

    As the eldest and the breadwinner of my 5 siblings, I changed their diapers, made their milk bottles and get them to sleep. Now, I send money to them. I already have my fair share of experience of raising kids and havr sacrificed alot already. I choose to be childfree.

  • @jessiewhitman8688
    @jessiewhitman8688 Рік тому +200

    I never wanted kids, never liked them. But I got pregnant at 16. I kept the baby. Now, she is 15 and I have 2 others..2 boys. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. If you don't want kids that's fine, but don't hate people for having kids or wanting them. This society will be the fall of humanity

    • @run2cat4run
      @run2cat4run Рік тому +9

      What a lovely message

    • @averagemobileplayergfs7383
      @averagemobileplayergfs7383 Рік тому +7

      16!?! The heck were you thinking?! That’s too young to have a child 😅 That’s just my opinion though.
      Lastly, are all your kids from the same father? And if so, are you two together?

    • @Jaychii_
      @Jaychii_ Рік тому +25

      ​@averagemobileplayergfs7383 how about you mind your business? she shared aspects of her personal life that she was willing to share. you have no right nor need to pry for more.

    • @guanabana7760
      @guanabana7760 Рік тому +3

      ​@AverageMobilePlayerGFS I understand that the comment was curious but teen pregnancy is a major problem in the u.s, and a VERY sensitive topic.

    • @IRumburakI
      @IRumburakI Рік тому +1

      You need them more than they need you. Sadly.

  • @beezlebuns579
    @beezlebuns579 Рік тому +84

    And Brett, if you're so worried about people having kids.... Go have some kids. Lead by example. Right now. Don't wait. Having a successful career isn't a reason to wait ;)

    • @knucklec7m754
      @knucklec7m754 10 місяців тому +3

      Shes liike 21
      CHIll

    • @jpined14
      @jpined14 10 місяців тому +32

      @@knucklec7m754 She's already 21. She's so selfish.

    • @ow1ix
      @ow1ix 10 місяців тому +9

      @@jpined14yeah I’m 21 my kid is already 3 been with my wife for 5 years. She’s out of touch on this. I love my kid but I would have rather waited till we were further in my career so she could be a stay at home mom.

    • @tomokokurokiirl
      @tomokokurokiirl 10 місяців тому +26

      @@knucklec7m754in that case, what is a 21 year old doing giving out parenting advice and shaming others for which reasons are selfish to not have kids and which aren’t?

    • @miniman649
      @miniman649 9 місяців тому +5

      @@knucklec7m754 Old enough to start breeding.
      If anything, that is ideal age. If she delays, she just becomes increasingly likely to get kids with problems.

  • @ZackRekeSkjell
    @ZackRekeSkjell 8 місяців тому +2

    My soon to be mother in law is part of the reason I’ve realised for myself I don’t need to have everything figured out before having kids. She had my fiancé when she was very young, and his other siblings when she was younger than average as well. She figured out things as she went and she has done an amazing job with all of them, even after the father was out of the picture. She has become a big inspiration to me that life with kids can be wonderful.

  • @bandit_of_trash
    @bandit_of_trash 2 місяці тому +2

    If you don't want kids, don't have them. My partner's sister has 2 kids and she HATES them - the kids suffer for it. I'm not having any because I have a lot of severe mental health issues and disorders (officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist, not this self-diagnosed nonsense going around - I have weekly therapy and will be on anti-psychotics for the rest of my life), and I struggle to get through most days as is. I would have a full on break down if I had to take care of a kid on top of all of it. I respect any hypothetical kids too much to let them have me as a mother, because they would be absolutely miserable just like I was with my severely mentally ill mother. I don't even have pets because of this.

  • @goreysins
    @goreysins Рік тому +203

    There’s a lot of people today that should not have kids. There are people who don’t want kids for understandable reasons but that’s their personal choice. Once you have a kid it’s kinda like misery likes company because people judge you no matter if you want kids or don’t want

    • @SamBrockmann
      @SamBrockmann Рік тому +3

      You need to find better company.

    • @cooliipie
      @cooliipie Рік тому +4

      What?! I've only heard HAVING kids IS SELFISH.

    • @Aiesha87
      @Aiesha87 Рік тому +3

      Facts 💯 For the ones that says that’s all they “heard”…maybe you’re hanging around the wrong people 💯🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @Bushodai
      @Bushodai Рік тому +1

      Projection in regards to the misery part.

    • @AdamPruett
      @AdamPruett Рік тому +1

      It should be legally required to have at least 2-3 kids before you're 30

  • @danieltrejo12dt
    @danieltrejo12dt Рік тому +428

    Im usually okay with Brett's points but calling people selfish for not wanting yo have kids is crazy hahaha

    • @MrMendez520
      @MrMendez520 11 місяців тому +20

      She said not, she was calling people who don’t take responsibility and/or not wanting to grow up selfish, and she’s right, they’re not children anymore

    • @fokuz2023
      @fokuz2023 11 місяців тому +57

      Fr why is she saying that people are selfish for not wanting kids🤦🏿‍♂️

    • @hotpotato5209
      @hotpotato5209 10 місяців тому +14

      @@fokuz2023she’s not saying they are selfish for not having kids, she is saying it’s selfish the REASONS they don’t want kids are selfish. Like spending more money on themselves, or having fun? That is selfish.

    • @Jesuslovesmethisiknow635
      @Jesuslovesmethisiknow635 10 місяців тому +4

      She said “you’re an individual, do whatever you want”

    • @user-zc4sx9ig6p
      @user-zc4sx9ig6p 10 місяців тому +21

      ​@@hotpotato5209having children isnt selfish? You want your bloodline to continue? Kinda selfish bro

  • @edwardbrock3807
    @edwardbrock3807 8 місяців тому +5

    Im personally learning its about sacrifice. I been living this Peter Pan lifestyle, 38 male no kids and i been having a blast. What im seeing is somethings missing; im realizing its not about kids, its about what are you willing to sacrifice, what are you putting time into, to contribute. It didnt matter before, but at 38 i keep telling myself, "you gotta do something man"

  • @VictoriaInamorati
    @VictoriaInamorati 2 місяці тому +2

    There are people who truly don't want children and then there are people who say they don't because they feel pressured to parrot it.