Gen Z Is Intentionally Vilifying Motherhood
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- There is a trend on TikTok of women collecting a pros and cons list for having children. In the majority of the videos, women are adding things to the "cons" list and discouraging women from having kids. A journalist at NBC News recently wrote a story on the viral trend and of course, brought the conversation back to Roe V Wade and other feminist "issues".
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Currently halfway through my pregnancy at 22 (with my husband, mind you) and when I told most of my friends their first response was to ask if I was going to get an abortion rather than ‘congratulations’.
The world is a weird place filled with selfish and evil people. Protect yourself and your family. Find support in eachother.
Congratulations! Hope you have a healthy baby and great health to take care of yourself and your family. Hope you love and care for your child and I hope they return that love wholeheartedly. Bless you!❤
Congratulations to you, I hope your answer came in the form of four-letter words.
Oof. Get new friends.
Well if your friends don’t want to say it to you, congratulations to you and your husband!
Hot take: if TikTok can talk you out of having kids, you shouldn’t have kids.
True
Great point!
That not a hot take , if any social media
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There's nothing wrong about reducing quantity. Europe survived on a much smaller population since the 18th century.
The longer time goes on, the more embarrassed I am to be a part of this generation.
Same.
Me too
*a part
Ah dont be.
I have two sons and they are great and their friends too.
There are good nice kids.
They dont yell loud like the crazy ones do.
🥰
Be proud to be an exception. I'm a millennial and I hate half of mine lol
I'm 26 years old and 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. Did I realize how much it would change my body? Nope. Am I still glad I'm pregnant with a little boy? Absolutely. It has been an incredible experience becoming aware of what my body is capable of, and I already love my little son more than I can understand.
I didn’t grow up ever really wanting to be a mom, but I am so glad I was able to get pregnant. I am so excited to be a mother and grateful I get to go through pregnancy, even if it is difficult.
Edit: He was born safely and my heart is so filled with joy I can't really express it. Motherhood is beautiful beyond words.
Congratulations!!! There is UA-cam channel called built to birth. I loved watching it during my pregnancies
Congrats . I'm on my 6th pregnancy currently 81 days away from having my sweet baby.
@@As-fk1rb YAY!! My baby was born safe and sound, and I could not be more in love.
Congrats!!! I felt the same! I have a nearly 4m old girl now and your body does bounce back! I'm 30 so I promise it will for you! I breastfeed and it tales up ALL of my time. Sometimes I don't eat at all until 4 pm because I'm taking care of her alone and I don't have time and she's already teething and needs me more. But it's worth it. I used to mock people who said that but it's true. I was lucky and didn't get post partum and I can't imagine how hard that would be. But it's not all bad like the left tends to say.
Boy mom here I agree little dudes are awesome
As a mom, people wildly underestimate how much you care for your child and how much of your life you are willing to change for your child.
I am a father who not only realized this, but also how much I as a person had to change too. Having children made me face how much I really cared for about myself only because suddenly I had to not buy things I wanted so my kids could have what they needed or wanted. The one thing I still struggle with the most is time demands. I am an introvert who likes having a lot of “me”time, while my kids are very active and want lots of attention and all of my time because they’re the complete opposite of me.
So many women don’t realize it, then they wait until they are 30+ to try to “settle down” and find a suitable man to marry and have kids. The problem is they are:
1. less desirable at that age for a male partner
2. More emotional baggage
3. May be at the cusp at a serious management job at work and will feel the pinch
4. Roughly 90% of a woman’s eggs are gone at 30.
5. One or two failed relationship away from not being able to have kids.
It’s sad because so many young women don’t even think about it , and so many have trouble as a result. Some decide to become single mothers and it is detrimental to society.
Do you regret not having time for yourself?
theyre too busy selling their bodies and needing a d to fill their void 24/7 to ever think of someone else. they couldnt bare the thought of keeping their legs closed for a few weeks. most of them consider an abortion a form of birth control. they are a lost cause. its probably a good thing in the long run, if gen z do not procreate. if they raise a child they will just raise them with their own f'd up values.
@@SARUJAN5 parents can have time for themselves, they just have to sacrifice a lot of it, not like your watching your kid 24/7, it takes 2 parents to properly raise a child, they probably split the labor, 12/7 for both parents of taking care of the child. whilst one takes care, the other works, get backs home, rests, and vice versa.
I’m a woman and I’ve always known that having children would never be for me. Now I’m 28 and I still never want children. But all those women out there who do want children and those who already have them have my respect.
Same! I'm 41 years old and never had the desire. Now, one week out of a hysterectomy, I still don't. But am grateful to all mothers who endure the pain of birth!
Moist Crumpet!! Omg I love that user name! Lol 😂
They don't have mine.
@@sweetpotatopie9832 they should especially your own mother, mother and yes even fathers give you life
@@analog-dEVA
“Motherhood is not for me. And neither is chastity”. The result of this “philosophy” is a majority of women mutilating themselves, physically (in the form of surgeries) or chemical (in the form of contraceptives). In this generation we medicalize the healthy body in an attempt to distort (and therefor improve) our nature.
As a mom, it's the most beautiful experience to go through. Is it scary sometimes? Sure. Hard? Yup. But I wouldn't change it for any thing in the world.
As a mentally unstable girl with anger issues and a lot of trauma I chose not to have children for their own good I know I won't be a good mom and I just can't stand children in general aaaaaand Iran is the worst place to have children
@@middleeasternforhire8985 no one can ever claim that you're not wise. It takes an intelligent person to understand where they're at in life and make good choices based on that understanding. ❤️
@Middle eastern for hire I'm not saying people have to have kids. Majority of my friends are childless. That's their choice and I support whatever they have going on in life. I'm just the type that made the choice I love being a mom.
Life is meant to be, in part, scary and hard. If one's life is never scary or hard they are not building the fibre of character that a person is born to actually produce. With each scary or hard moment, a person can look back on it and go 'look what I have faced and survived, look what I have accomplished'. And of course the secret sauce is that everyone's life will get scary or hard about something at some time. If you've spent a lifetime hiding on your bed, it will find you and you won't be ready.
Generally speaking, if something isn't at least a little challenging, it isn't worth doing. The best things in life are often the hardest, most risky, or most challenging to do.
My favorite thing about Brett (besides her morals and views) is how seamlessly she transitions into the sponsors 😂
Hahaha, this so much
Yep lol she doesn't need commercials she creates them.
I’ve commented this before 😂 superb
It’s really incredible honestly she’s so talented at it lol
Yes!! Half the damn time, my mind is blown and I can't reach fast enough for my phone to skip the ad.
Imagine growing up and seeing a series online where your mother explains why having you was a bad idea. 🤔
Because honestly 😂 her mind could easily change with age and circumstance. I think this 'woke' generation doesn't understand that deliberation takes time...we are quicker than any other when it comes to picking up a pen or a post but the thinking just isn't there. We are clouded by our own bias in the heat of the moment
Honey, my mom had twins and she was poor. She had us to save a marriage that is still to this day horrible. I wish she had me when she and my dad were in a stable relationship and we didn't have to suffer from poverty. She didn't have to say we were a bad idea; she showed it. Now, you want to insult women who are trying to make a smart decision of not introducing a child in this world with the same burden we had. I think you need to grow up.
Well, I heard that from my mother in person along with how she hated children in generał. Maybe, just maybe, she in particular should have heard that list of cons beforehand...
@@Purple_haze81000 my life is very good. i want to have more children. what world are you talking about??? go to therapy. your problems aren’t everyone’s problems
@@PBndJ I have been in therapy for a long time. Way to be insensative. My point is that there are people who shouldn't be having kids (my folks). And there is absolutely nothing wrong with people who know what their limits are. I think it is important that people really want kids when they have them. I don't want them to go through what I went through. Why are you making fun of people who know they can't handle it? Certainly better than having them and living with abuse and poverty like me. I am poster child of not to have kids if you don't want them. My folks didn't have to tell me; we felt that in other ways. People making tiktok videos are the least of the worry. Honestly, I am happy you love kids. I know you are a good mother. Don't make fun women who can't handle what you can do.
My husband and I knew we wanted kids, but everything I’d heard online made me expect that pregnancy, birth, and the baby stage would be the worst things I’d ever experienced. It couldn’t have been more different. Pregnancy was fine, labor was amazing (and I birthed a 10 1/2 lb human with no drugs), and my little guy is the best and most fun thing in my life. Having kids is amazing, and I’m so psyched to be pregnant again and add more members to the family team.
Wow! Good job! I had mine at home, but he was only 8.5 lbs. Labor is always talked about as this awful traumatic thing, but for me postpartum recovery is WAY worse than going through labor. Labor is just a few hours. Recovery is weeks of bleeding, sleepless nights and learning about this near stranger I just pushed out of me.
Pregnancy was really uncomfortable for me, regardless of how smooth it went. I don’t like being pregnant. But I think the end result outweighs the discomfort, so I’m already pregnant with my second. I didn’t wait long lol, my first is only a year old.
That’s not a baby, that’s a dang bowling ball. Congrats of course. :)
You're just very lucky
Yeah imagine having the audacity to say pregnancy is easy. It's different for everyone. Me personally I end up in the er and have to get it aborted because if I don't me and the fetus would die. I throw up every day all day for the entire pregnancy. To a point I don't gain weight I actually lose weight during the pregnancy, and then the pain of labor was extremely painful imagine the feeling of someone shoving their hand up your vagina and ripping your organs out through your vagina, now imagine that every 60 second or even more frequently. Imagine no breaks at all during labor. Just constant contractions. Oh and then the ppdepression that comes after. Imagine spending your entire pregnancy in a hospital bed in extreme pain and throwing up constantly. It's not f*cking easy and fun. It's different for everyone. And clearly you think you're special. And I swear we all know you're a lying b*tch who wants to look better than other women. It's women like you who don't prepare mothers for the actual way it feels to be pregnant
I was a small newborn, but my mom loved being pregnant and also did a natural birth. She didn't make it all sound easy or always beautiful, but I have gathered a lot of it is your attitude, and how much real care and good nutrition you give yourself. That was over 30 years ago. I personally worry about having to deal with the modern medicine establishment if I was to ever get pregnant myself.
Meanwhile my husband and I are over here praying every day for a child.... if you don't want a kid that's fine but the hate towards women who do needs to stop..
I pray God bless you..i know my time bein a mom is over anf it hurts...now to heal i going to pray for you that God sees you two and answers your prayers...remember hannahs prayer in 1samuel...
@@inquisite472 may God bless you, I needed to read that tonight. Thank you for the reminder
I hope you're able to have a child. I'm child free myself but I do not hate people that want kids I hope the best for everyone in the world.
Same, I want kids so bad but after five years of trying I am losing hope.
More the opposite actually.
hey, actually? this is a blessing in disguise. if some stupid tiktoks were ALL it took for people to make the life altering decision to never have kids, that means they weren't cut out to be good parents to begin with. we need generations of children raised with intelligent, steadfast, and confident parents
Yes, some peopel don't see the upside of the gene pool cleaning itself.
Yes, yes, and YES!! Blessing in disguise is absolutely correct!! I wish people would see that it's NOT a good idea to try and talk people who should not have kids into having them. Leave that to the people who actually want them
May be they saw the TikTok and then they did a deep research on this subject!
I dont think this is true. People get brainwashed so easy and women are so insecure when it comes having baby. This is like politic if a politician talk and talk things and they convice you with bad things about something else then people become easy brainwashed
As a father of four, one of my great joys in life has been watching my wife blossom into a stronger, more capable, more patient, and more mature woman after becoming a mother. The kids are awesome too. I've got to say, based on these lists, these women probably shouldn't become mothers. They can't hack it.
They're too weak and not feminine enough
As a man who wants children, but isn't quite financially comfortable enough yet for that to happen, your words bring me joy.
I hope all is well for you and your wonderful family, sir!
Adoption is better
It may be the best experience for you, but it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own definition of the ideal life and best experience, rightfully so. You can’t just expect ALL WOMEN to conform to and follow traditions. Some women want to travel, and honestly, that’s the best experience any human can have not just women.
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701no one is forcing people to follow their tradition. But what happens when you grow up and you’ve traveled to and seen the places you want to see. You grow old, your friends and parents die, and you’re left with no one to share your stories with. No one to really care for you when it’s your turn. Snapchat memories and photos on your camera roll don’t really matter at that point. That’s what people are saying. But respect if you wanna become a hermit on some island in the Bahamas.
In a way this is probably a good thing. Those who let TikTok tell them motherhood is bad probably shouldn't be mothers.
Those on tik-tok period, probably are not fit to have children.
THe issue is that they're going to teach young girls to have abortions and neuter themselves, then those girls will grow up and realize they actually would have loved having kids but now can't. Luckily, adoption is still a thing (tho super hard to get through the paperwork and waitlist)
People who probably shouldn't have children have them anyway, no matter who or what tries to stop them. They're not going to listen to TikTok.
oh. good point actually
Tik Tok is run by the Chinese
I’ve only been a mom for 2 years, but I feel my quality of life and my capacity for joy has substantially increased. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling I get when my daughter smiles at me. I don’t know why anyone would want to miss out on that.
Liat
Some people just don’t want children and find joy in other things.
@@ThatUnusualNationalist you can't do that !!! It's UN-American
If all you woman don’t care about how hard mothership is- then why do you want to gaslight and hide the information on the realities of childbirth to other woman and girls ? 😊
I'm currently pregnant with my 6th baby.. and there's nothing in the world like have a baby.. my kids smiles light up all the darkness and melt my heart.
I’m currently pregnant with my first and the way people react to pregnancy and pregnant women is insane. People act like I’m going to die, or I’m being sent off to war. When I tell people I want more kiddos, with four or more being the ideal, they look at me like I should be committed
Lol that's why I tell people I want 10 kids whenever it comes up 😂 I love the shocked look on their faces.
Because it seems crazy to have that many
To be fair, have your first before you decide on how many more..I have two and pregnant with third and until they’re here you won’t realize the amount of time they will need and you’re going to want to give enough attention to all equally
EXACTLY!!! Stop fear mongering such NARURAL and NORMAL processes
Well it's a bad idea. Stop f*cking like rabbits. You are making the overpopulation issue worse.
I got pregnant when I was 20 years old. I was the first one in my entire extended family to get pregnant before I was married. My family just assumed I was going to get an abortion and when I said absolutely not, they were shocked. 10 years later, I have the most beautiful daughter, who they all adore so much.
It's easy to adore a kid when you aren't the one taking care of it
What a blessing to have a child and be young. I am happy for you!
@ your sarcasm is not needed
@@FranklinHicks-qs4gs I'm not sarcastic lol
@ your comment was :p
I've never wanted to be a mother, but my respect and admiration for mothers is immense. Having a child is a big life choice, and I disagree with forcing anyone to have/not have any.
Then don’t have sex 😘
@@The_Salty_Siren What do you mean by "don't have sex"? Are you the kind of person who strongly opposes contraception even when it's being done between responsible husband and wife? My husband is the only man I've been with, but we've decided not to have any children, ever.
Then go have 50 children then.
@Educat ional We get asked a lot, and tbh it IS rather tiring but we don't get upset. We just calmly explain that we run charity for both homeless people and stray animals in our local area (we're not in the US). So it's an even bigger sacrifice imo. Having your own children is not the only way to bring good into the society.
Hi, are u and husband more conservative? Just curious since this is a conservative channel
No ones talking about force here.
But people should be encouraged to have children not the opposite. Having children is incredibly important for society. If my generation, Gen Z, goes as it is then the generation after us will be more than cut in half because the idiots think having children is a bad idea.
If this tik tok trend keeps the freaks from breeding, I am all for it.
Yes!!!!!😂
Amen, brother (or sister)
Right 🤣🤣🤣 the more if this crap that comes out, the more I'm thinking, "maybe abortion isn't horrible either considering it's not the conservatives that are getting them...🤔. Never ever would have said that out loud in my twenties, but I've hit the age where I've realized that some people are beyond help.
won't help, they already took to grooming other people's children to their chaotic views
Until the freaks start teaching this to your children
here’s my thing, i’m 16 and i know for certain i do not want children for many reasons like health complications, being responsible for someone else completely and having to carry for 9 months. i’ve known this about myself since i was very young. my mother says i hated children when i was in kindergarten. tik tok hasn’t changed my opinion on that but i can’t believe people are that easily influenced not to have children
Same! When I was a kid I thought that other kids were stupid and annoying because they cried for no valid reason, they put toys or pencils in their mouths, got dirty ecc. and because of that my parents never even ask me if I want children because they already know that I don’t.
@@auroraottaviano9664 also just the heavy burden of having to depend on someone else (husband, boyfriend or baby daddy if he isn’t in the picture) would stress me to death. i’d rather never having to experience that pressure, saw my mom go through it and don’t think i could do it myself. that’s another thing (i realize i’m just having some word vomit rn bare with me) my parents, especially my dad were awful to me and my brother growing up. i haven’t seen my dad in nearly five years because i don’t want to associate with that fear and hatred anymore! having split parents is awful and i would never want to put a child through anything i went through!! i agree 100% with what you said aswell!🫶
Same, I'm fifteen, and never in my life I wanted to have children, I just felt like I had to do it because every woman in my entourage did it, but this trend honestly just emphasized my want to not want children, I've seen many parents in the comments saying that yes it is hard but when you see your child you forget about everything else, what if I am not able to do? What if I am a bad parent? And especially in this time, I don't wanna bring a child into this f*cked and awful world that made me have so many traumas, honestly I wish my parents didn't bring me into this world for so many reasons, does it mean I'm mad at my mom or don't love her? Absolutely not, she made and still makes a lot of effort to make my life better, and I'm so grateful for that. I consider adoption, but I don't trust myself in becoming a good mother, and I absolutely hate the gaslighting that my family or friends do to me when I say I don't want children, I'm still young maybe I'm gonna change my mind later, even If I don't think so because of so many reasons and things I don't wanna go through especially because I'm easily traumatized, but it's my choice and my life, how is it gonna affect anyone if I decide to not have children? "But you're gonna end up alone." And? What about it? How do you know what's gonna happen in the future? Plus it's ME who's gonna end up alone, not them, so why do they care?
I agree with your opinion still at 16 you are still a child yourself in many aspects in time if u still dont want kids it's absolutely fine, just at 16 noone wants kids even if they think they do.
same, i just feel like i cant take care of myself properly so why would i be better at taking care of a newborn😭😭😭😭😭😭 but also, i respect those who want/have kids
Having my daughter was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was fortunate to have her. I can't imagine not being a mother. What a beautiful experience!
Personally I wouldn’t want to go through the pain of childbirth but I would definitely want to be a mom. Going to adopt 100%
@@ils6698 You know they are legally required to offer you anesthetic, right?
It may be the best experience for you, but it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own definition of the ideal life and best experience, rightfully so. You can’t just expect ALL WOMEN to conform to and follow traditions. Some women want to travel, and honestly, that’s the best experience any human can have not just women.
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 probably won't respond, but I'm geniunely interested in why you do what you do. I can rarely pin any of you down to step outside your box and talk about it. You've spammed that almost everywhere in this comment section. Please @ me if you'd be so kind to geniunely talk about what motivates you. Not about adoption or travel btw lol. We got that you like those. Just about why you spam.
@@ALJ9000
It is still painful
As a mom, there are a lot of cons that you can put into words and put on a list. But there aren’t words to describe the overwhelming pros of feeling the kind of love you feel for your child. And it completely covers the cons, like paper covers rock. And I was one of those “I’ll be a bad mom and don’t really need kids and my cat is my child” people. No, fur moms, sorry, it’s not the same and it’s not even close. So, I tell every young person to never say never. I ended up loving it.
I also didn’t know half the stuff about pregnancy and I promise, I was fine. Lol. She think people did this for thousands of years because of the eternal list of cons?? I laugh.
Well I am both a fur mom and a child mom and call me crazy but for me its very similar. I would give my life for my fur babies as well., Their pain is mine. Etc...I think it depends on the person.
Some women don't feel that overwhelming love for their child like you explain. I know many women who were told this and ended up not feeling love towards their child even years after their birth.
I'm child free. Just no desire at all for kids. They are cute at times but that's it. I'm also 34. I think the biggest thing is people really need to sit down and think before having kids because it is a big responsibility. My bigger issue is seeing women having kids they can not take care of and the kid suffers.
The only reason you think that is hormones. If you objectively think about it you know kids are a bad deal.
Honestly, this is why they say motherhood is not for the weak. It’s so fulfilling and rewarding but it does have a lot of difficulties. That’s no reason to not have them though as long as you’re able to take care of their needs.
Yep motherhood is not for the weak that’s why this generation don’t want kids their too selfish they don’t want to give up their time and put in the effort like our mothers and grandmothers had to
Even as someone who doesn't want kids we need to stop shaming those who do. Being a mother is one of the greatest things you can do.
how come no one says that about fatherhood??
We could look at the whole Cons list as a way to say, "Thank you mom, you sacrificed some things for my sake."
❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Hahaha if you think your children owe you anything. You owe them everything, they owe you nothing.
@@inderjitkainth5353 Exactly
@@inderjitkainth5353 I would put it a 50%/50% split IF the parent took their job seriously and was a honorable person. A parent owes their kids a roof over their head, food on the table until they are 18, and a non-abusive environment to grow up in with access to the tools to become a functional adult, but after they don't owe the kids anything and it is the kids job to become a responsible adult. If your parents did their job, then you owe them honor and helping them out when they are old at least to some degree. I honor my dad who raised me and is a great person, my biomother who was abusive I am estranged from so owe nothing to. You get what you give.
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and am so so glad I didn't experience crap like this as a young kid. I was already scared of having children (my mom almost died due to a surgeon's mistake in a post-birth surgery when she had my younger brother) and being exposed to this kind of negativity probably would have kept me willfully childless. At 26 I've come to realize that being a mother is what I was always meant to do with my life, and seeing popular media geared towards young women vilify and nullify femininity (via contraception, abortion, radical feminism, and the trans movement) is really hard to watch.
Prepare for several decades of misery
I wish you the best
@@FranklinHicks-qs4gs it's too bad that you didn't raise yours right. Must suck to suck I guess.
@@edmondgreen7970 jokes on you. I got snipped duma$$
Congratulations!(I’m 10 weeks along with my second)
I pray that you and your baby will be healthy and strong.
The sad part is that her kids are going to watch this someday….if her parents had done this about her it would be seen as “trauma” for her.
i personally disagree
I find the idea she'll have kids questionable.
It definitely is unlikely for some haha. But some of these people sharing and adding to these lists do have kids. Which I think is king of sad :/ I mean yeah, it’s super hard, but the list just seems to get a little petty.
For the people saying that they think she won’t have kids, I think that what the comment means is the fact that some of the people that don’t want kids of their own prefer to adopt, and the comment’s probably talking about her adopting a child and the child seeing this
Shit my mom said she wished she didn't have me or my two half sisters. We are all messed up because of her trauma.
Nope. I think people romanticize the idea of pregnancy and motherhood so much. Like It's all not sunshine and rainbows. Pregnancy and motherhood is very very tough. And the society taught women that It's the best and fulfilling thing women can ever do. As if life is only about having kids and raising them. It’s a life long responsibility and your priorities completely shift after having kids. People need physical, mental, emotional, financial stability to have kids. Some people Don't have any of this still having kids and romanticize this stupid idea. Mothers talk about their regret that doesn’t mean they hate their children, they love their kids but not "Being a parent" and It's good that they are sharing this stuffs. Many people will get cautious about this and think twice before having kids. The world is already overpopulated and millions of children are Orphanage and homeless. Why? Millennials never thought about this shit that's why. Many women die while giving birth or because of postpatrum depression. So It's very rigorous decision for life. Poor, druggie, stupid, careless, lifeless, miserable people having kids and wants another woman to have them. Misery loves company.
It’s strange to people when I tell them I intend on becoming a housewife and stay home mom. They’re very discouraging of it saying things like “oh you can’t let your husband control you” or “but don’t you have your OWN dreams in life?” I feel ostracized and looked down upon and I know a lot of women who feel the same.
I'm a stay at home mom, I worked until I became pregnant and told my husband I don't want a stranger to raise someone I created and be with someone more than me. It was the best decision I could've made for myself; I loved working but seeing my son every day is the best job I could've taken. My dream was to be a mother, that is what I wanted to be all my life and people still would say that sounds boring. Unless you've been there, you'd know it's anything but.
Brush your shoulders off and keep doing the hardest and most rewarding job ever. 💗 I've been a stay at home mom for 12 years (4 kids) and it's amazing the condescending comments I've heard and they were spoken in such a nonchalant manner, as if what they were saying wasn't incredibly insulting. You got this!
I understand you completely. People can’t seem to fathom how being a sahm could possibly be our own choice. To me, it is the biggest blessing to be able to raise my children and I’m grateful to my husband for providing for our family.
@@monicageller226 well stated. 👏🏼
@@botanicalbecca8443 the thing I don't get about those comments are didn't our grandmothers and great grandmothers fight for the right of choice? To be able to have the choice to do what THEY want and not what society dictates them to do? I refused to be a part of the female population that always worked when I had children who depended on me and needed a good role model in their lives. It was my choice to do this but I was thankful my husband backed me up on it because a lot of younger men today would rather their partner work.. 🤷
Currently a mom to 3 kiddos, and was the first out of my friend group to get married (at 21 years old) and have kids (23 years old). The idea that kids are a burden is disgusting to me. If my husband would let me have more I absolutely would without a second thought. Children are blessings. Always.
Amen.. .. I love all my babies even the one I misscarried... I'm on number 5 and a house full of love and laughter and joy(sometimes crazy and screaming) it's all amazing the easy good parts and the hard parts
Best thing ever. It isn’t just having a baby , it’s creating a family . It’s been a wonderful ride watching these people develop.
Children can be a burden, especially given how harsh the environment (economically and socially) is around you.
@@dranixrush3306 It isn’t the child’s fault. If you have a child in a poor environment, that’s on you. Not the child’s.
@@KGrace0001 There's truth there for the most part, but things happen. Children can be a drain on resources and one's mental fortitude. And having a kid restricts you from a lot of things in life.
I’m currently in the hospital after giving birth to my third son and couldn’t be happier I get to share my body with this beautiful human to create life and then sustain his life with the milk my body creates.
The cons of pregnancy are much fewer than the pros. This lady is literally listing the most bogus reasons which should be proof enough that she doesn’t have many good reasons.
Oh yeah, and I’m now a proud mom of 3 white males who are not inherently bad for being white or male. Thank God I’m not a liberal mom.
I hope you recover soon best health for you and the baby ❤❤❤
God bless you and congratulations on the new little guy!
Congratulations!! Thank the Lord your three boys have a great mother with a good head on her shoulders and common sense. God bless you and your family!
at this day and age, any minor inconvenience is a form of oppression, or in this case, a con
The "Baby = Parasite" reason was all I needed to know with how those morons think.
Giving birth and being a mother is not easy. It’s quite lonesome sometimes, it’s extremely tiring and frustrating, but my life would be miserable without my boys.
I’m a mother of a 3 year old and I’m pregnant again, they’re my everything.
I’ll turn 30 in November, and I can’t imagine a life without my kids. They make my life complete.
So great . But imagine you go to your friends and talk all day how bad is to have child, what would do your friends? Not have a child cause all women let themself be brainwashed from someone
This makes me sad and angry. I’ve dealt with infertility for 3 years. I would do anything for a little one coming to wake me up in the middle of the night because they don’t feel good
@joy I think it's a classic "you don't know what you have until it's gone," and I think that be in reference to the ability to have a child.
Tons of people change their minds about wanting kids over time.
Sadly, we live in a world where some parents outright wish their kids were dead.
i know it not the same but a lot of kids need a home and will be more than happy to have you has their mom ...
So sorry! Praying for you. I thought that the other night and thanks God I had a baby waking me up. Sometimes those are the sweetest bonding moments
Infertility should be seen as a blessing.
My mother kept having miscarriages, it was clear to her and my father that they’d never have kids by biological means. But they caught wind of a young girl who was pregnant and couldn’t take care of a child cause she was single and still very young, they jumped at the chance. Drove 10 hours to be at the delivery room and adopted me on the spot. They did the same with my little brother from a different family. Because of this, I know a huge community of adopted kids and all see their parents as true parents. I’d highly recommend this is you long for a child, because I can assure you that in this day and age, there’s definitely a child who needs a parent that will actually love them
As someone in Gen z i am sorry for what my generation has done to society.
Finally a gen z with a brain
I’m sorry too. Only few of us can think for ourselves. 😢
Half of my millennial gen is right there with yours lol
As a zoomer myself as well, I agree with this.
As a GenX, I would like to apologize for the so many problems the insane members of by generation have done and not done.
The list made me wanna hug my mom instead of not wanting a child lol
As a mother, this makes me happy. ❤️
@@marycelalopez Selfish
@Sweet Potato Pie hush child
@@sweetpotatopie9832 You are selfish one.
Why is no one mentioning overpopulation, if everyone had 3 children we would very quickly run out of resources and land space, poverty, homelessness and malnutrition rates would skyrocket the air quality would be much worse (Due to a decrease in trees and an increase in CO2 production) as we take more land many species of animals will go extinct and animals attacking humans will become much more common as we will be the most available food source.
Now onto the economy side of things: Let's assume you're doing the legal minimum for your child, so around $20 on food per week (0-3) $40 per week (4-11) $60 per week (12-18), $60 on clothes every year, $300 on medical stuff every year, $500 for a crib (0-3), $1000 for a bed (4-18), $1000 on education every year (6-18), you would still spend roughly $62,000 raising a single child (This is if you are doing the bare legal minimum, so the child will be unhealthy due to decreased medical availability and decreased food consumption, have no entertainment whatsoever, worse education because they will have no school supplies and a worsened sleep due to sleeping on the same bed for 15 years.)
Onto the biological and psychological side of things, many people have fertility issues, STDs and/or multiple other barriers. Additionally around 10% of the population is LGBTQIA+ and the only ones out of those people willing to reproduce are bisexuals and aromantics. Some people just don't want to have a child, some people who try experience miscarriages and some just aren't able and/or willing to find a partner.
Not to mention that raising a child takes a lot of time and effort, time which many people don't have. Children also cause a lot of stress, which isn't good for your mental health, you would have to balance a job with raising a child that can be tough.
Being a mom is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done and I couldn’t be prouder of being a parent and raising my kids. I’m 27, married with 4 kids and I stay home and homeschool my eldest. It’s hard sometimes and we’ve had to make “sacrifices” as a family (which I don’t really think of as sacrifices honestly) but it’s a wonderful and fulfilling life. The people siting those “cons” sound extremely self-absorbed and only focused on short-term ease and comfort. Later in life they might realize how profoundly lonely it is to focus that much on yourself.
Well said! No greater sense of fulfillment than when we are of service to the ones we love. I love being a stay at home mom. It’s challenging but also very rewarding.
We have both been blessed with incredible husbands that provide this opportunity for our families to thrive!
Cheers to that!
I was thinking similarly watching this! Brett is always talking about the narcissism uptick of our society and this trend just shows it at its peak.
@@monicageller226 You are very blessed. Not all men are worthy of being fathers.
Yes! You said it best! I really thought "Wow! These women turned off by the teeny tiny inconveniences of being a mother are real narcissists, huh?" They shouldn't be mothers in the first place. They need to grow up first
Adoption is better
Being a mom has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Ive never felt more fulfilled. Motherhood is hard at times, but I would never go back to my child-free life.
Same!
💯
You may fool yourself but you aren't fooling the world
@MyMotif did you just assume what "side" I'm on ?? Please don't reproduce. If you've already reproduced, draw a bath and open some veins. Invite your child to to play in the bath with a toaster.
@MyMotif well. You just found one
Honestly, I'm not sure if it's for clout, or just horrible mommy issues at this point.
It's just really really selfish and self-absorbed people. Gen-z has grown up basing everything on social media acceptance and likes. There are no more social rules such as "treat others how you want to be treated" because social media posts don't have anything to do with interacting with others. You're posting things about your life, yourself, your feelings, ect. It's all about you. When before, there would be certain things you just don't say to someone's face, a computer allows you to say and do what you want almost without feeling any shame or seeing any consequences. Ypu no longer have to consider anyone else except yourself.
As a person who doesnt want to have children nor get pregnant, I have absolutely nothing against people who wants to. I do think is something that makes a HUGE impact in your life and should not be taken lightly, but I also don't think is ok to make it look like hell just because you desagree with it. Whenever I see a happy couple taking care of their children I feel very nice because they took a decision that changed their lifes for good, that happens to some and for others a childless life is better.
Def is mommy issues and also don’t know the value of hard work in their lives
I would argue the mommy issues are a root cause or related to the clout chasing
@Liberals Are gross 100% I’ll openly admit that’s why I don’t want children.
It’s not vilifying to point out how awful and hard it can be to be a mother and how you don’t need kids to feel fulfilled.
What I've learned in my own pregnancies and reading hundreds of stories, it is VERY rare two women have the exact same pregnancy experience. My first was ridiculously easy and pain free, this second one I've got some severe lower back pain and my morning sickness was horrible! But would I do it again ? Yes because most likely that third pregnancy would be different again 🤷 it shouldn't be something to fear, Brett's right that our body's are created for this! Doesn't mean you have to have kids! To each their own ❤️
Also, women's bodies are INSANE when it comes to recovering after childbirth. My mom had tears when she had my brother, and healed up perfectly fine. Childbirth does this wild thing and they didn't need to numb her up down there afterward because the body numbs itself on its own. She had an episiotomy with me, and... that was no big deal, because she had an epidural. 😂 She chose one with me because her doctor just BROKE HER WATER WITHOUT HER PERMISSION, and my head was pushing against her spine in an agonizing way. So, getting sewn up for the episiotomy was no big deal, either.
Considering the term _uterine massage_ is a real thing associated with C-sections, I hope and PRAY I can do a natural delivery some day. 😅
People still die in childbirth, you know
So funny to listen to you talk about childbirth 😄 I have 4 children and had difficult pregnancy with each but I'm so thankful for each of my babies. I was an extreme tomboy who never dreamed about having babies but can't imagine my life without them,ages 2 -7 years. The older they get the more fun we have. I think these people forget that babies grow up and you get to share your hobbies and interests with them.nothing better than drawing, journaling,gardening, hiking and traveling with my husband and kiddos ❤🩷🩵
I had 3 had pregnancies and one miscarriage and am easy one and so far this one is going pretty easy.. my c section tho was horrible my spinal.block wore off to soon, but it don't matter I don't even remember the pain much but I can still hear my babies first cry and just being lazy with her for days snuggling and staring at that beautiful baby face....
I'd go thru all the worst for my babies really doesn't matter to me they make me so happy it takes all the pain away.
Brett should do a segment about her own comment section. It's so heartwarming here. So many young mothers admitting that being a mother or getting pregnant is something that they wanted and feel great about. Not a single piece of how evil men are controlling them, how awful they feel, how terrible kids are etc. Proud of you, young ladies.
Adoption is way better than pregnancy though
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 .,.
@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 you do know that adopted babies still came from a pregnant mother.. *right?*
@@God-eo9zj sometimes such thoughts crosses over peoples heads.
@@noaharthur9041 i know this will ruin it if it is a joke but please..tell me your joking
Her TikToks are just pointing out stuff that most people aren't told. If saying parts of reality of pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood is gonna make people not want to have children, maybe many women are just being tricked into doing life-altering choices that they will regret later.
Also, about Roe v. Wade, if you aren't gonna give women the right to stop an unwanted pregnancy, just deal with the fact that they will take waaay more measures to prevent pregnancy at all, since a small mistake here could completely derail their life into something completely outside their plans there.
On a small note, the way she just shrugs off the fact that you will frequently lose your sleep over your child crying, saying it's just part of the package, is exactly the problem. It's part of the package, and there is nothing you can do other than accept it. If there was a neighborhood where people would frequently start loud-ass parties at 3am, nobody would find it weird if one decided not to move there at all so they could have a decent sleep schedule. It's not about it being natural or not, it's about not wanting to have to deal with this thing at all.
Not to mention how she always ad hominem these tiktokers as being just angry childfree people. If anything, the ones that are angry are the actual mothers they post, complaining about diarrhea on the carpet or other stuff like that. The childfree ones are just having fun.
This is seriously NOT a big deal. I was icked out when I saw a pregnancy video in 7th grade and swore I'd never have kids. Guess what? I grew up, I fell in love, and decided to have a family.
Crazy how people do change and some don't. I'm 34 and still no desire to have kids.
Yeah what’s scary is as girl I think we’ve ALL felt this way when getting out “talks”. But now that it’s a sort of social contagion and there’s peer pressure added, people are wasting their chance. And then simultaneously ignoring all the OTHER videos of 40+ yr old women crying because they’re lonely and can’t have kids or find a husband. Destructive lies propagated by the Satan
Evolutionary biology urges women to pass on their genes. It’s completely natural for women to have that urge.
Women who don’t have children are ending their biological line. Evolutionary biology doesn’t like that.
No desire for having a baby. The act of something coming out your body is not beautiful imo in the slightest. Pure body horror to core , I’ve always hated the idea.
It really isn’t a big deal. I later found out I couldn’t after I chose not to, but it didn’t change my lifestyle and my bond with my husband. We have been fine without kids and will continue to be fine without them. No shame to those who have them, so long as you take care of them.
I only say the last part after working in early education and seeing SO many “parents” (heavy sarcasm) who really don’t take care of their kids and think they are the hottest thing since sliced bread.
I'm never having kids, but I will never shame those who do.
I didn't want kids before it became a TikTok trend. If these lot want to chase people they don't like based on their choice. Why not go after pregnant women who are cool with smoking a pack a day? I'm happy being an Aunt and spoiling my siblings kids.
@@cfowler7936 Yeah exactly, or abusive or absent mothers who only became mothers because they were teached they should, then regret it and hate, abuse or abandon their kids
And the same should go for the other side. The folks that shame people for not wanting children.
@@chynaanderson494 it's horrible that people shame others for not wanting children like not everyone wants the same things out of life. People should respect others decisions.
The moment my baby was born was the happiest I had ever been in my life. It's not for everyone, but for me it was wonderful.
Happiest but painfullest too?
Congratulations to you and your beautiful baby 😘
@@BlueBlacy oh yeah, definitely painful. I was unfortunate enough that my epidural didn't work. But when the nurse handed me my baby girl, it was all worth it for me.
Thank you for acknowledging that it's not for everyone. It's definitely not, and I wish more parents would see that
The backlash of not wanting kids in the first place is a lot less than the backlash of having a kid and then hating motherhood. We do need to be talking more about the cons of pregnancy and motherhood. I was only fed pros growing up and was told it was my duty as a woman to have children. I support any woman who doesn't want kids.
Same.
I agree with you but, I think she was more so pointing out the absurdity of some of the cons, like too many buttons on a onsie.
There's nothing inherently wrong with not wanting children yourself, but there is something wrong with trying to convince others that they don't (or do, for that matter) want children unless they're already on the fence about it and actively seeking your advice/input.
Have you considered that maybe your life is not meant to be about you and what you want?
Perhaps there is something bigger and more important then yourself you could work toward?
Perhaps the family is one of those things?
One thing that I noticed when learning about Roman life was how there names are an after thought. The identity of Roman was so important that the individuality of their names was almost forgotten. They had purpose and knew they were apart of something bigger. Life was much hard and downright repressive, yet they didn't have a mental health crisis......
@@willcresson8776 Family is the structure of all civilization. The longest running study on human happiness found that family is by far the best method. Given these facts I don't see why you wouldn't encourage those you love and care about to have kids and build their own family. Pushing good ideas and a positive vision of the future is a net good. Having kids isn't the only option, but it is the best option.
As someone who just had a beautiful baby girl back in November, I wouldn’t trade ANY of those reasons for her. She is EVERYTHING to me and the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I would go through the morning sickness, labor and birth and everything else I went through 10x over to have my baby girl. I do not understand these moms.
We have a 7 year old son, 5 year old son, and a daughter who just turned 4. No better decision made in our lives.
@@nddugas right? They are so precious and I’m sure it is so awesome seeing them all grow too🥰
@@makaylaellett5002 Absolutely. And they are so different from one another. My oldest is very technically minded, liking to see how things work and loving math and science. My middle son loves English and reading/has been ahead in language since 18 months. My daughter just absorbs everything and is a little chatterbox. There have been times where she just talks and tells stories (literally) non-stop to where I have to remind her to eat her food. 🤣
@@nddugas oh that is awesome! Definitely makes me want to have more kids 🥰 I saw one of the reasons to not have a kid is because they are little versions of ourselves and I’m like how tf is that a reason NOT to have a kid?? These girls make no sense. & I feel bad for their kids if any of them see that on social media in the future ☹️ I’d be heartbroken if my mom was saying stuff like that all over social media…
Adoption is better
I’m the mom of 5 amazing kids: endured pregnancy and sleepless nights during my 20s and early 30s. Sacrificed financially, physically, emotionally and I would do it all over in an instant. The love my husband and I have for our children and the way they have enriched our lives is worth any sacrifice. I realize kids aren’t for everyone but I love how every little thing like blowing bubbles or snow is something magical in the eyes of a child and then you get to watch them grow into an amazing and independent person that you brought into the world. My life was pretty self centered before I had kids and I’m so grateful they taught me what really matters in life! We live in an area where there aren’t a lot of big families, whenever someone asks if all 5 are mine I say, “yes and I’m proud of every single one of them.”
One day at a time! You got this! 😊 You are the best person equipped for your unique child.
i don't know why but reading your comment gave me hope and positive vibes you have my respect
Having children isn't easy, but nothing is more satisfying than raising them.
I have a feeling the Venn diagram of people who oppose everybody having children and that are vegan is a perfect circle. They simultaneously claim they love nature but try to fight their own.
I'll pass
@@katlincleary1988 nobody asked you
@@shadowhawkrine1947 um ok? Public post so I can comment what I want ding dong
@@katlincleary1988 It is your decision to become a mother or not. I'm stating that its not terrible to be a mother/parent.(Coming from a father of a toddler.)
This is actually a really good topic, too many people have children when they’re not equipped to take care of them. A concerning about of people are unable to take care of themselves.
Women were pressured into “doing what their body is medically designed to do” for so long that it was pretty much the only thing you were allowed to do and now some are being “scared” or informed into not doing that.
This isn’t a stupid trend, it’s an important conversation done in a somewhat silly fashion by some.
Yeah, I’ve always hated that argument. As if humans haven’t been going against what they’ve been biologically designed to do for centuries. 😂
I was thinking the same. It's not a stupid trend. I'm 34 with no kids. I think more people need to talk about the cons. Maybe not the ridiculous stuff but just talking about the challenge of kids in general.
@@ragnarrklangsrok1685 Have you seen the current state of the world? We're overpopulating already, have been for many years. Less babies would solve way more than it would cure at this very moment. "extinction?" What makes you say that? Unless all 3B women stop having kids, there won't be exinction (which has a 0,0000001% chance of happening.) I agree with a lot Brett says but this is just a weird take from her. It's an important conversation that's never properly been held, not even from mother to daughter. Women are just pressured into their "biological task" without a single soul properly preparing them for it, not even schools or moms are doing that. I'm glad pregnancy is started to be shown in it's true colors because it by far isn't as "colorful, fun and jolly" as society paints it to be. I know women that had their teeth fall out during pregnancy, didn't even know that was possible up to two years ago. Pregnancy and having kids is heavily romanticized and that honestly has to stop.
@@janevonnis Nope, populations are imploding and reproducing is literally our only true purpose for being here. It doesn't take that much population decline to seriously deteriorate infrastructure and services to the point of near anarchy. China has 6 elderly for every young person. Who is going to care for these people? Do you expect MY kids to wipe YOUR ass? I don't think so, so have some kids so someone is there who actually gives a shit about you when you're too frail to handle yourself. Or navel gaze into oblivion. My kids inherit the earth. Works for me.
@@janevonnis PS Nothing about nature or this world is truly pretty or nice, every beautiful thing you've ever seen only looks beautiful because you can't see the decay at the microscopic level, and the animal eat animal nature of the world. But at the end of the day you're gonna be old with no one to care for you.
I get it. I was terrified to have kids and thought my life would be "over" if I did. Then I had an unplanned pregnancy. Pregnancy/birth/postpartum was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and though it took me months to get there, eventually motherhood did become the greatest gift God had given me. Yeah I've had to grow a lot more selfless. But in return, my capacity for joy expanded. My capacity for love expanded. My sense of purpose expanded. Nobody had told me how much joy being a mom would bring me, and if they had I wouldn't have understood. It truly is one of those things you won't get unless you experience it yourself. But from someone who's been there, let me say- the pros do indeed greatly outweigh the cons.
@@nostalgicrobot she just did, you miserable troll
Absolutely this. Having a child matures you and helps you gain perspective that few other life experiences can. You can’t explain it to people who haven’t experienced it unfortunately.
Besides most of the cons don't even apply to most women, it's just complications that can happen for some.
I've never felt a strong urge to be a mother and my husband isn't interested in having kids either. Even so, I've offered my time and resources to either babysit, bring dinners, or be a helping hand to other mothers. Mother's sacrifice so much to raise the next generation. I think that everyone should have the option to choose whether or not if they want kids. For me I don't, but I'm not going to put down what other women want and even as a nonreligious person, I will always be prolife ❤️
This is a beautiful and well said comment. Agreed and love it, even when I'm on the having-kids-one-day side 😄
Ditto girl! My spouse and I are the same!!. We don't care what option you choose. Being involved in community can be just as productive to reproduce a better future for the next generation!
Same here. I'm not interested in having kids, and I'm glad people are being more open and honest about the difficult side of things. In the past, it used to be all sunshine and rainbows, like nobody was allowed to talk about the hard stuff. It seems like a lot of people would like it to go back to that, but I think that would be bad for everybody. There's nothing wrong with women being more informed about the difficukties they might experience if they choose the path of motherhood.
I'm child free at 34. Never want kids but I'm pro choice. No issues if you want your own kids but I don't think either side should push or hate on the other.
@@katlincleary1988 people who don't want kids can choose to not have sex and also choose to have surgery.
(In case of rape, incest or high risk of death it should be allowed to have abortion, but anything else no imo)
If you're getting major life advice from TikTok, you're not mature enough to have kids in the first place. It ain't that complicated
Those are just informations why are you scared pof them? The fact is women are not told about consequences not to scare them and THIS is bad.
Like Ik Im late but I agree with izabella the fact that there is some genuine info in there that basic highschool health classes don't even mention shows that these tiktoks might be at least slightly legitamet. Sure no experience is the same but I just learned a from my girlfriend that her moms butthole caved mid pregnancy. Bet most people don't know that it can happen though...
It’s like a kid/teen who has never learnt to drive a car only reading about all the things that can go wrong on the road. Someone can T-Bone you, your tire might pop when you’re going 65mph, a tree could fall and crush you. So they don’t even learn to drive.
Same analogy could be applied to many things; think cooking, hiking, swimming etc. You should try to get a full comprehensive picture of what you are reading about be it pregnant, politics or whatever. Also tiktok is NOT a good place to learn. It’s a good place to be introduced to a topic maybe, but one should go beyond tiktok and learn more.
I don't think mature is the word your looking for
I don't think they're vilifying pregnancy, more like just showcasing the cons that don't really get talked about. And for young teens who are perpetually on TikTok, that's great!! They SHOULD know that giving birth means less sleeping, less time for yourself, less money, your body being altered for life, etc. They'll think twice before making a mistake.
Idk why they acting like its a bad thing. Why hide the cons but showcase the pros. Downplaying someone showing what can happen (she never siad its 100% going to) during pregnancy but praise others for showing how good it is. Its stupid
Showcasing the cons that don't really get talked about? Women have been talking about the cons for generations! You don't carry a baby and then go through labor and NOT talk about the cons. My mother, aunt's and grandma shared their stories. Talk shows, movies, books, sex education, the internet, birthing classes. When have they not been talked about?
@@winnie7801 If that’s true, then why is the TikTok video getting so much hate? It seems like people only want to glorify parenthood to encourage people to have children. Surely a good parent would have children despite the cons being listed.
@@chynaanderson494 We glorify parenthood because it's a glorious thing. I don't care whether women have children or not. It's getting criticized because it's making a wonderful thing sound awful. And again, women know the pros and cons, for most, the pros just outweigh.
@@winnie7801 And for some people, it IS awful. Not everyone can experience the "glory" of raising a child. And for that reason, we choose not to have children. Either way, I think both pros and cons should be listed so that the parent and the child can have the best chances of a happy life. If the cons are enough to dissuade someone from being a parent, then they shouldn't be a parent anyway.
The fact that people analyse the pros and cons of MOTHERHOOD is beyond me
Andrew tate ??
To be fair, it's not for everyone. But yeah, this tik tok makes it look like is more of hell than it can be. It even made me rise an ayebrow and I don't want to get pregnant not have children 🤣
i mean, it’s good to weigh it up, some people may not be cut out for that. doesn’t take a way from motherhood being beautiful though
Andrew you out? W
Top G is looking at Brett now
Ah 🤣🤣🤣
As a mom, I think more discussions on the cons of pregnancy and motherhood should definitely be topics that aren’t pushed away or looked down upon. Being a parent isn’t easy in the slightest but it’s true when people say that it comes with the most rewarding moments of your life. I love my daughter and I’m excited for my twins that are arriving in May but I don’t blame women for not looking to walk the path of “tradition” and not wanting to have kids of their own.
^^^^^^^this^^^^^^^^^
Congratulations! ❤
THIS! Being a mom is amazing but I can see why some women really like working outside the home esp if your man is a princess like most of the available options which means you will be working at something every hour of the day regardless of being paid. If a woman has no work experience then being a proper housewife will be a mission impossible
Thank you for this comment. I understand some of the criticisms in this video, but not all of them. Because I don't see how it's wrong for women to be able to make an informed decision, instead of being lied to and only being told the positive things.
People who want to be mothers will probably do it anyway, and they will probably be pleasantly surprised if they don't experience any of these negatives. But there's nothing wrong with being more informed and more prepared for how hard it might be.
I remember when I told my mom that I'm not sure if I want to have kids, she didn't try to convince me to have them. She told me to consider the fact that you never know what you are going to get, and to consider the potential hardships, like if I ended up having a child with a disability who would need my care for the rest of their life. Sure, that might be rare, but it happens, and she didn't want me to be reluctantly talked into having a child, only to have something like that happen and for me to feel like I was duped into something I wasn't prepared for or something. And that was coming from a woman who absolutely loves being a mother and would love nothing more than to have more grandkids in her life. I really respect her for being honest with me and not pressuring me or only telling me the positive things.
I think motherhood and pregnancy are absolutely beautiful things, but I just don't think they are for me. And I'm a little tired of the way so many conservatives vilify women who choose not to have children. I mean, I have literally had people tell me to off myself because I'm going to be worthless to society if I don't procreate. So yeah, I don't think it's evil for people to talk about the cons of having kids.
@@CassTeaElle you’re absolutely valid to live your life the way is best for you 😊 never listen to others about how to live your life after all you’re not taking anyone but yourself to the afterlife
I decided way before social media existed that I didn't want kids. I have not regretted that choice. Not all of us want to be parents. For some reason I never had that maternal instinct. Never felt that desire. I've often wondered if there is something wrong with me as a woman, because it's just not there.
Rest assured there’s nothing wrong with you. Having a child is the biggest sacrifice one can make, and should only be made by those who are most willing. Any reason not to have them is a good reason, no matter how superficial.
I'm 34 and no desire for kids. So you're not alone
There's nothing wrong with you. You were meant to impact the world in a different way.
I'm in the same boat and have been called horrid names for it. 😢
I used to be the same at 17 and less. I promised myself I would never marry and have kids. But the maternity instinct came at 18. Just not the sexual one...
I think this is actually not a bad thing. As a mother of 2 I knew nothing about having children until I got pregnant. I learned everything via Google and remember having a complete meltdown when I learned my hair would fall out. I think it’s incredibly important to understand fully what you are getting yourself into. This goes for everything but especially bringing a human into the world.
But you hair don't fall out. Only extra hair (that didn't fall out during pregnancy because of hormones) falls out. It's good to know it because after pregnancy it might seem like you are getting bald but it's just extra hair, not whole hair. I got emotional over silly things during pregnancy too (which is normal) but this is excacly what Brett is talking about here: misinformation and fearmongering.
Your teeth can fall out too from calcium deficiency. It happens to a suprising amount of pregnant women. Scary.
Except the misinformation and the heavily bias because it does not show pros
That is why midwife is a highly skilled and valuable job. Bad sources of info are bad no matter the intent.
@@passivelyasking4825 it only ever happens if you are severely malnourished and/or have children back to back instead of waiting for at least 1-2 years before getting pregnant again.
I'm a woman and I have absolutely no maternal instincts for children or even the slightest desire for them. However, I still like to work with children and help them as my teaching job. But I never desired to have my own. I think either way, instincts or not- wanting to have kids or not or whatever - ultimately what it comes down to is being kind to children, whether they are your own or they belong to other people.
I am exactly the same - I’m going to start studying to become a teacher this fall but I don’t want to have my own kids, I’ve already pretty much raised my siblings because off the age difference and that was enough for me to see that I do now want to have my own kids
I was about to comment the same thing! I don’t hate kids, but I also have ZERO maternal instincts not to mention other things like childbirth and affordability that just doesn’t make me want to have kids. However, I still very much love my nephew and my friend’s kids. I just don’t have the desire to have kids of my own. I wasn’t inspired by tik tok feminism either to not have kids, it’s just my own personal choice.
Same here. But I love children, but I have so many things going on with my family that I don't think I can be ready for having a child.
Having my children changed my life completely. I used to be so depressed and an alcoholic. But the moment I saw that positive I dropped drinking completely and haven't gone back. Having children is very hard and totally brand new. It's scary because you have no idea what it's going to be like. Even with my second child I had no idea what it was going to be like because all babies are different. My kids are the best thing that ever happened to my husband and I. I will take learning something new with my kids any day over going to a party and getting wasted. I have a purpose now and it's been the best job for me. It's not for everyone I get it, but it's the most rewarding job ever.
Well said
All the “bad” things about birth/parenting combined will never compare to the immense love & joy I feel for my baby. It’s unexplainable, once you become a parent everything changes.
I felt so strong & empowered giving birth. I did it without pain meds during labor. I feel like a GD champion. lol.
Absolutely. I had a c-section. No con will compare hearing my baby cry for the first time or the giggles that are echoing through my house now.
Gross
Agreed. The most joy and pride I’ve felt have been hearing my little boy say “I love you” “please” and “thank you” and any time he figures out something new. Same with my daughter although she’s too young to do much other than babble and give slobbery kisses ❤️
Life is messy right now, but it was so much more empty before kids. I wish I’d had mine sooner, and I’m not even 30 yet.
I did my labor without dugs too. I didn’t want to be loopy when my baby was born. I wanted to get the whole experience. It was excruciatingly painful both times but it was absolutely worth it. I have never felt that kind of love in my life. Instant, abundant love. I would’ve given my life for my baby in an instant if I had to. It was euphoric and exciting. New life!! It’s hard to put all those emotions into words. It was wonderful. I’ve never even felt that kind of love for any other human being on earth not even my spouse.
Facts 👏👏👏
Tbh I feel that the people who are so against having kids would likely be terrible parents anyway.
No they are the best parents they didn't bring their children into this world with potential suffering!
@@JSM-bb80u
Agreed.. I love my kids too much to bring them into this world
I had my first baby when I was 23. I was so sick at first I could barely shower. It was exhausting and emotional but it was also amazing what my body was doing. I had this incredible connection with a person I hadn’t met before because I’m his mother. Everything from the first little kicks to the day he was born was difficult but just as amazing too! He didn’t sleep for more than an hour or two for the first couple of months and I was beyond tired and trying to heal from birth - but then I got to witness his first smile and then his first giggle and the way it felt to hold him as he slept. I learned what it felt like to love someone so much that I would literally die for them. He is 12 years old now and I wouldn’t trade having this wonderfully kind and creative little human in my life for all the sleep and comforts in the world. He reminds me of the best things about myself and gives me more reasons to be happy than passing pleasures ever could. It is hard to have and raise children but it is so so worth it.
She can add a future con of having a kid i.e, "My kid kicked me out and I have to spend the rest of my life in a nursing home" 😂
Karma bi***es! 😂
But that's stupid tho. Nobody can kick you out of your house uness you are stupid enough to legally give them the house ownership first. Your name is on the house papers, you kick them out.
@@justagirl6761 that's a nice sentiment, but it doesn't quite work like that. When you're at an advanced age where it gets more and more difficult to take care of yourself at home, do you expect your kids to do it? You can't force them to. Are you paying to have someone to come help you out at home daily? Do you expect your kid(s) to help pay? Or are you from a culture where two or three generations all live under one roof?
@@morris9973I am from somewhere where it's mixed. It's pretty common for more generations to live under the same roof, it's more common for children to come back to help their parents or have the parents move in with the kids once the parent is too old. Nursing homes are also a thing here. Pretty much everyone chooses what they want and can but most of the times people don't really need that much help until they are very VERY old or get sick from a different cause, because old people have mostly been eating very natural ingredients throughout their lives here.
However in every case, unless you sign your house away or die, the house is still yours and you can't be kicked out here.
But at the point where you do need someone to take care of you, having children is usually a good thing. So it' still stupid to not have kids because they will kick you out. There are other legit reasons. This is not one of them.
I am not saying ıf you raised your kids , they would have great personality but most of the time the relationship of parents and kids depends on the behavior of parents . I am turkish and grown with Mediterranean culture and many of turkish adults don’t even move from their parents house till marriage ( for both gender ) . To sum up , Don’t forget to give love to your kids and teach them how they should respect you then maybe you wouldn’t kicked out .
Marriage and motherhood are the most empowering things I’ve ever done! I’m stronger in ways I never could have imagined.
I feel the same way! My whole world changed for the better.
Great to hear! I hope you and your family are doing well. God bless you and your loved ones 🙏❤️
Im glad you didn't let a list stop you
That's amazing.
Sad.
I decided not to have kids since I was a kid myself.
I swear wanting to have kids in 2023 is highly discouraged. I’m 22, married, with my college degree plus a full on career and have been trying for months for my first baby. Every time I ask for advice from someone with children, they all try to convince me to not have kids saying it will ruin my life. I just want a little support and I don’t wanna be told by people that children is not at all what I want
The way I see it, people are unhappy and just want to take the easiest and most comfortable route in life. Motherhood is a beautiful, beautiful thing. It has its ups and downs like everything else in life. Remember to surround yourself with people who will cheer you on! Praying for you ❤
then do what you want. why are you writing this comment? because you obviously rely on the acceptance of unimportant people. get that out of your head and do whatever you please besides complaining about peoples opinions that go against your own.
Motherhood is the hardest yet the most rewarding job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything!! Prayers for you and your husband 🙏 ❤️
I had a very similar situation to you. Having a baby has truly been the greatest joy in my life. Don’t let these people discourage you. I promise there are others who value motherhood and children.
Parenting isn’t hard. 😎….. keeping your patients can be 😂…. But totally worth it in every way…..also grandkids eventually!!!
Definitely intentional. WEF released that whole concept for pod babies a little while back. They want to own our kids and eliminate our desire to have our own.
I have seen this and the video to go with it. Scary shit indeed…
Adoption is way better though
yeah as a young 20 year old woman it completely scared me. The childless life kept popping up on my fyp and i just ended up deleting it because i was tired of all the nonsense they were spewing on that app. If people want children let them have them. Don’t scare them from wanting to.
Motherhood (especially when your children are little) takes over your entire life in a way I couldn’t have anticipated. The kind of support you have available to you can make and break motherhood for you as well. We also don’t have the same sense of community that existed for other mothers. Im grateful to God for making me a mother, but the responsibility is HUGE.
After 37 years, my Boomer mom just admitted to me that she regrets having me. She had to put all of her creative ambitions indefinitely on hold to provide for the family. I'm adding that to "The List". What makes Gen Z different is that they're open to having honest, public conversations about critical issues that were swept under the rug by previous generations. It's a good start.
That’s a terrible thing for anyone to hear about themselves at anytime in their lives. I’m so sorry you were told that by the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally. I am a 37 year old mother of 2. Even if a mother has those feelings, it is the epitome of selfishness to ever express that to one’s child at any stage in life. There are some things in life that are better left unsaid or said in the context of a therapy session to work through with a professional. If your mom has regrets, she needs to work that out with a professional, not take it out on you.
That's HORRIBLE she should be ashamed of herself for telling you that, how utterly MEAN 😤
That’s definitely something not to say to your kid in my opinion
I would not read much into this, because the grass is always greener on the other side. She doesn’t know that she wouldn’t have regrets if she pursued her creative ambitions instead.
@@markx1126 yeah it just sounds like the mom is looking for things to blame for her shortcomings. She also may have just failed and also had no family.
Gen Z here, 23, married, first baby on the way and now in the third trimester. I was scared of pregnancy before due to peers, school, and media. It has been hard, but not nearly as hard as people made it seem. I’m hoping the same is true for labor 😂
I had my first at home at 20. People talk about how awful labor is, but it’s not nearly as bad as they say. There’s definitely some bad experiences for some, but it’s important to remember that your body was made to do this. Labor isn’t a “medical procedure”, pregnancy isn’t a “disease” that gets cured in nine months. Your body knows exactly what to do and you can trust it.
I suggest listening to some positive birth stories to build your confidence. Learning about the different stages of labor and then listening to women talk positively about how they did it really helped me.
Another thing I learned, (you probably won’t believe me) postpartum recovery is worse than labor. Labor is hours, recovery is weeks. I suggest taking time to focus on learning how you will recover after labor.
I’m sure women who have done it more than once probably have better advice than me, but these are the things I learned after my first.
Currently pregnant with my second only a year later, but I know every pregnancy and labor is different so I’m not going to expect things to happen the same.
I pray you and your baby will have an easy delivery and good health!
@@llpalmer5082 thank you for the encouragement and prayer!
Labor is scariest when you don't know what to expect. I had my 3rd baby last fall and while I'm not going to lie to you and say labor and delivery is a cakewalk, you body does, in fact, know what to do. And all the stuff they talk to you about in birthing classes (which I do recommend - learn to breathe for labor, it *does* help, I was so skeptical and skipped that step for my first and hoo boy, I went back and learned labor breathing techniques for my second and third times around!) once you actually experience it, you'll know what it is.
I hate that advice. Telling someone "you'll know" is the worst. I second-guess everything my body feels. But it's true, I absolutely knew when it was time to push. So it's okay to trust yourself in the process.
Here's the most comforting thing my mom told me before I had my first - while it's true that pregnancy, labor, and delivery have real risks, women have literally been giving birth to healthy babies for millennia - often under less than ideal circumstances, and certainly without the assistance of modern medicine. Your body was built for this. You've got this! Best of luck, and blessings on your growing family!
I've had 3 babies, no drugs. The breathing from the classes got me through it, although having an encouraging husband (or other coach) helps too. I should also mention that before baby#1 my husband asked anyone who would listen to pray that I had a pain-free delivery, which was super embarrassing. It wasn't pain-free, but I did get through everything very calmly, and I'm sure all of those people praying for me helped.
Mother of 4 here, there are two pieces of info I found to be the most useful during labour: 1- Do NOT get attached to your birth plan, flexibility is key. 2- If you can manage it, try to be upright as much as possible. Gravity is your friend! My instinct was always to stand to give birth and I have had easy labours. Bonus info: pain relief or no pain relief, neither is superior, there are no badges of honor! (Pain relief freaked me out with the first so I didn't have any with the rest...I find being numb kinda unnerving tbh!)
i personally don’t want kids, i don’t think i’d make a good mother and don’t wish to pass down health issues, but i’m not against people having kids if that’s what they want. sure, there are a lot of negatives, but there are also a lot of positives. you’re bringing life into the world and that’s beautiful. my sister in law is currently pregnant and i can’t wait to become an aunt.
I feel the same.
I think that’s fantastic because you know that it’s not for you. That’s responsible and self aware! I want to have kids but my best friend does not want to be a mom for similar reasons as those which you mentioned. There are too many people who have kids but shouldn’t be parents!
All the sacrifices of having children are temporary. Feels like yesterday I was pregnant with my first and now he’s in high school. The years just FLEW by. I can’t imagine my life without him or any of my kids.
Wait, but having children is a beautiful thing. I m a man and I could not imagine how hard and painful having a child is for women. But what I do know is some of the best things in life are painful.
When I said it is painful for women to have a baby. I mean you have a human growing in your body. It's wild, crazy but a great thing but very uncomfortable for women and kids are awesome.
The bad makes you appreciate the good more, sadly
I'm a man too. We readily march to our deaths in meaningless conflicts based on the emotional whims of women. Men are tortured to protect women.
Women shouldn't be cowards about fulfilling there literal entire purpose. Men cannot fulfill their purpose if women don't fulfill theirs. We are here to reproduce and to build societies. Not to fuck every guy who shows you an ounce of attention.
Women who don't want to have kids are just selecting themselves out of the gene pool. Bye bye self extinction causing idiots. Birthrates will boom when natural selection does it's job. I'd like to have a family of 10 ngl.
My wife and the mother of my 3 sons looks sexier now at 50+ years old than ever and so do other moms. Women only get better with age. Much love to all
Awww that’s so sweet!
Absolutely ☺️
❤️❤️
I’m 15 going on 16 and I’ve never been a fan of kids. I don’t really want kids, but now I know that I need to both have kids and raise them as delightful conservatives just to spite the rest of my generation 🎉
You are a kid.
@@xxGuItArGiRLxx89 One that can think. Oml.
Yes!!! But not anytime soon lol. You focus on enjoying teenage life and unlearning everything the commie school system teaches lol.
@@xxGuItArGiRLxx89 yes she is, and she's smart enough to not have a kid, while still a kid, but if it happens, to not have an abortion, and think about someone besides her self, that's intelligence. Adoption is a wonderful option as well, it's loving, and the mother's also thought about someone besides thier selves. And I don't really like kids that much either, at least not other people's kids.
@@xxGuItArGiRLxx89 she said 16... she can legally fk
Am I okay with staying childfree for the rest of my life? Yes
Would I have kids with the right person and under the right circumstances? Also yes
It's OK to not want kids but no need to demonize those who choose this path
I never ever ever wanted kids. When I found out I was pregnant almost a year ago I cried but I carried my baby and I hated being pregnant but the moment I heard her cry and I held her tiny body against mine was the very moment I fell in love and accepted everything I went through. My baby is my world and I can’t imagine my life without her. All of the “cons” you come up with are overturned once you meet your tiny human you spent 9 months creating and growing.
As a woman who has a three year old and is currently pregnant I can say that there are a lot of hard times being a mom and being pregnant, many of which I had no idea about prior to becoming pregnant with my first. THAT BEING SAID, I wouldn’t take it back for anything because my son and my soon to be born daughter are so beautiful and I enjoy everything about them. I would take any hard day with them than any day without them. I am who I am today to my beautiful babies. So much about me has changed, physically and mentally and I love myself, life, and others now more than ever; I only have love and thankfulness for them. Being a mom isn’t for everyone though, and that’s okay. :)
Adoption is better
It may be the best experience for you, but it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own definition of the ideal life and best experience, rightfully so. You can’t just expect ALL WOMEN to conform to and follow traditions. Some women want to travel, and honestly, that’s the best experience any human can have not just women.
I’m 21 and halfway through me and my husband’s first pregnancy. When I told my older (unmarried) sisters, they asked me “what are you going to do?”
It didn’t occur to them that I was excited to have my planned baby.
That’s why they asked.
Congratulations! Babies are awesome 💜
@@shoutingfactory3694 thank you!! They really are
That's a really weird reaction considering you're married lol. I'd get it if you were gonna be a single mom but that's not the case.
I’ve never wanted kids even before social media existed 😅
Right. Same here. I'm not sure why she's so bothered by a tiktok. Maybe this younger generation wants something better for themselves.
@@katlincleary1988 True. Especially looking at how romanticized pregnancy is, it's a good thing awareness is being brought onto the predominantly dark side of it.
I agree im really confused by this video. Most kids already dont want kids because they saw how miserable their parents were with them and already know that the economy is insane, this list they're going so hard on seems satirical but also a way for mothers to share their experiences. I highly doubt anyone used this list to make a decision, at least thats what i got from what was shown
Me too. Very content with a childfree life.
Same. I straight up hated children as a child myself. They were loud annoying, lying manipulative little socially acceptable sociopaths and I wanted NOTHING to do with them as young a **5.**
For so long of my childhood I didn't even know not having kids was an option outside of fertility issues and was dreading my future as 2.5 kids alcoholic to cope with how miserable the kids made my life
I used to say I’d never have kids because of stupid reasons like this. I ended up getting pregnant, and had my daughter. And after I had her I did end up getting chronically ill, but guess what? I still wouldn’t trade it for the world. Having children shows you a love you didn’t think was possible. A selfless and sacrificial love. And it changed me for the better. I’m so thankful for her and how all this drew me to Christ. I now get to see and better understand a snip it of God’s unconditional love for me through my daughter. Children are a blessing, not a burden. I pray for mine, and the next generations to come. This makes me sad.
Heaven forbid we ever have to do something difficult.
This is the problem. No one is "obligated" to have kids. All of the hard stuff parents go through is the result of the decisions they made by having kids. A convenient fact they like to leave out.
It is a choice nobody has to do it, if you want to go ahead, embrace the difficulties, but there is no mandate on other people who don't have that wish. Why do you talk about it as if it was a duty?
@@michele2330 The right is angry that more people are realizing it's a choice. They don't want people to know that, because they don't want it to be socially acceptable to have a nontraditional life.
That’s the thing. You don’t.
I'm 58, and every day, I find a reason that I'm glad I don't have kids. And yep, getting woke up at 3 am. is a reason I don't want kids. But whenever someone says they don't want kids, that should be enough. But it's not. I'm questioned, I'm called names, I'm told I'm selfish all because I have no desire to reproduce. So there are more people pushing for people to have kids than people pushing to not have kids.
There should be an honest and open discussion about pregnancy. I've read or heard too many people who later regret having kids because it's so hard.
Agreed 100%. I’m in my early twenties and I’m constantly hearing this child bearing nonsense. I think we should leave that to the people who actually want to be parents.
I love this for you! And totally get it. I don't want kids, nor will I have any... it's important to know what you want or don't want
100% agree with you. I'm 26 and theres a pregnant woman at work, and she's always like "oh you'll change your mind". And my brother just had his first child (3/4weeks ago) and although yes I'm happy for them, I'm dreading the next family gathering. I understand others when they say it's a sacrifice. But to me, it's the end of my life and the lifestyle that I want to have.
Same as you, you get called selfish, and other things. But to me, if I had a child I wouldn't love it, and that's just worse
@@vampiricpanda666 I agree, I'm 23 and have no desire to raise a child, especially not in this economy. Not only that, but our generation is weak because we were raised with weak parents. I'm definitely not strong enough financially or personally to be able to raise a version of myself that has never existed. The only reason so many people spout this "you'll change your mind" nonsense is because that's what THEY personally wanted for THEMSELVES; it has no influence on what OTHER PEOPLE might want to do with their lives. Just because you (not "you" you but referring to someone who is trying to tell me I need to have kids) were willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING in order to have a child does not mean I also have to! Btw, I'm a male, so I have even LESS to lose than my female counterparts, and YET I still wouldn't want to have children, for both my own and my theoretical partner's sake.
@@redguard1607 the planet is on fucking fire, the teachers are on strike (I'm in the UK), and nurses are using food banks. People can't even afford to buy houses and 1/4 children live in poverty here. My brother is lucky, he's an engineer so earns double what I do so I know that his child is going to get everything she needs in life. Child care in the uk is on average £15,000 per year, I feel so sorry for single parents because that's just insane, and again more of a sacrifice.
I wouldn't necessarily say we are weak, but I hate it when my parents and grandparents say "oh you have it so easy!"... like why say that like it's a bad thing!?! Even though they brought their flat for £25k and now it's worth 4 times that. I definitely agree though, I don't feel mentally mature enough to deal with such a massive responsibility, you're a parent for life, not just till they are 18. You're always going to be a parent. I can hardly keep a plant for a year 🤣
I respect people who do make such drastic decisions, but when people try to force their opinions on you, there are people out there who can't have children. I often wonder if there is a way to donate and transplant my womb to a woman who genuinely wants it.
Men are lucky in my opinion for that, the whole idea of my organs moving round and potentially dying from pregnancy is terrifying
As someone struggling with infertility at 25, I want a baby more than anything. I was diagnose with pcos last year and told that I would never be able to get pregnant naturally. Don’t take your fertility for granted!
I struggled with infertility due to pcos... never thought it would happen.. now 32 with a 4yo. I hope you get your wish. Good luck.
I am 29 and have PCOS as well. I want children as well. Good luck!
@@janbagley2581 I'm 31 and it took me 10 plus years to get pregnant. Don't have pcos but have another reproductive problem.
I don't have 30k for fertility treatments, so I did SHITTONS of research on vitamins, supplements, herbs and fertility teas and of course a very strict anti inflammation diet. It was hard, but I wanted this child more than anything!! I concieved immediatly after years n years of negative tests after 4 months on the diet etc. Lots of self discipline. Modern day GMO and processed food kill our sex organs and how they function
I'm 30 as of a few days ago with endometriosis and pcos and I now have a wonderful and way to smart and way too big already 4m old!
@@sj0223 that's wonderful!!! It's unfair certain ppl have to struggle, but I'm grateful for my reproductive issues now bc it got me on to a path of healing and health. A path I never would have known had I not struggled for over a decade to get pregnant!!
We're looking at this in the wrong way. This is a massive win. These people shouldn't be having kids. The last thing we want is them reproducing and passing on their values.
You don’t have to give birth to be a mother. You can always adopt or foster.
You're only a mother if you give birth. You can be an adoptive mom but not a mother.
@MUSICMAN thats a horrible take some people actualy cant give birth but can still be mothers
@@Menace2Society9 the nice thing is that it doesn't matter what you think motherhood is.
I agree! Not alot of people are capable of loving someone outside of their biology
I don't rlly see love that way. You can love and care about someone who you don't shit out
@@Goat.Cheese if u want the real definition. It's a female who gives birth.. so adoptive ppl aren't parents.. I was being nice and correcting you
Thanks for this video Brett, I love being a mom. Nothing compares to to it. Being pregnant and giving birth and breastfeeding has given me the most confidence and pride in my body that I have ever had. I am so proud of my body and what it has done. Sure parts of motherhood are difficult but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Adoption is better
It may be the best experience for you, but it’s not for everyone. Everyone has their own definition of the ideal life and best experience, rightfully so. You can’t just expect ALL WOMEN to conform to and follow traditions. Some women want to travel, and honestly, that’s the best experience any human can have not just women.
Disgusting
@i know exactly who you are I'm 34 and no kids. Basically i do not care if someone wants kids. I'm not going to make you feel like shit over it but people shouldn't make us feel bad for not. Didn't this UA-camr just put nick cannon down for having so many kids lol I'm so lost on that but anyway it's okay to not have kids. But if you want them go for it.
I never in my life wanted to have children, I just felt like I had to do it because every woman in my entourage did it, but this trend honestly just emphasized my want to not want children, I've seen many parents in the comments saying that yes it is hard but when you see your child you forget about everything else, what if I am not able to do? What if I am a bad parent? And especially in this time, I don't wanna bring a child into this f*cked and awful world that made me have so many traumas, honestly I wish my parents didn't bring me into this world for so many reasons, does it mean I'm mad at my mom or don't love her? Absolutely not, she made and still makes a lot of effort to make my life better, and I'm so grateful for that. I consider adoption, but I don't trust myself in becoming a good mother, and I absolutely hate the gaslighting that my family or friends do to me when I say I don't want children, I'm still young maybe I'm gonna change my mind later, even If I don't think so because of so many reasons and things I don't wanna go through especially because I'm easily traumatized, but it's my choice and my life, how is it gonna affect anyone if I decide to not have children? "But you're gonna end up alone." And? What about it? How do you know what's gonna happen in the future? Plus it's ME who's gonna end up alone, not them, so why do they care?
True. There's some serious groupthink/ cultish behavior in this comment section; in their minds all of the possible cons of having kids is just "fear mongering" because love conquers all and everyone who as kids has a happy ending. Nevermind all the stories of kids being addicts, or estranged for whatever reason basically severing contact with their parents after they leave the home. Retirement homes are filled with people who had kids for the sole purpose of not being "lonely"
the r/regretfulparents community provides shelter for people who had the opposite experience the people on this channel insist parenthood it. The stories are harrowing, horrifying, but honest.
I'm a law student that is mostly focusing on crimnal law, and the amount of cases I have read that talk about parents killing their children, abusing, and/or neglecting them is astounding. Also, the opposite happens too, children killing their parents, but the conservatives live in a fantasy bubble and not in the REAL world.
Women were told working a job is more important than rating a family and they believe and still do.
As a childfree women idc about a job I care about my quality of life. Motherhood doesn’t seem like a great quality of life.
@L T. depends on what you consider "quality of life." If that means having less responsibility, then absolutely. Being responsible for raising a well-rounded, contributing member of society is an extremely tough job to take on, although the rewards of it are substantial. Some people aren't meant for the tougher road, though.
@@darlingdeb7010 There are no rewards just waste of time and money.
Brett, I am a Brazilian Subscriber with a limited English vocabulary, but I try my best to write you good complements. I think you are a very smart and charismatic Lady, and is a pleasure for me listen your points of view. You also have a classical beauty.❤
xaxaxaxa
Half way through my first pregnancy and spent the 1st part over the toilet not keeping any food down. My mom was the complete opposite and never had any morning sickness. You can’t truly get prepared because everyone is different when pregnant.
I know there are a million remedies, but soy milk really helps my wife to balance her hormones, especially early in pregnancy.
My mother jokes, i kicked a lot in utero.😁
You can't ever be fully prepared, no, but at least with more people being honest about the struggles, people can have a little more of an informed decision, instead of people only ever talking about the positive things. I see that as a good thing.
I just experienced my first pregnancy that sadly ended in losing the pregnancy at 6 weeks. The amount of changes my body went through in those few short weeks was astonishing. I have two SIL's who each have one kid and are each expecting another and I'm also the oldest of 6 children. I have been around pregnant women and babies for a lot of my life but I had no idea how pregnancy would effect me as an individual. I was way more emotional than normal, starving all the time, already feeling the effects of my hormones super-charging my bladder, and as I was losing the pregnancy I cramped and spotted constantly for two straight weeks. The cramps may have hurt, but knowing that I was losing my first child hurt the most. It has been less than a week since the loss was "completed", if you will, and despite all of that and seeing other women go through the hardships of pregnancy and labor and childrearing I will 100% be trying again in the near future. Children are absolutely worth all of the pain, all of the suffering, all of the sorrow that we as mothers experience. My pregnancy was a complete surprise to me and my husband and we weren't prepared for it, but I would do anything to be able to hold my baby in my arms just once. Like other commenters have said, if a TikTok turns you away from having children then you probably shouldn't have them. The strength required to be a mother or even to be a parent, especially a good parent, seems to be lost in this generation. My heart aches for the youth of today and the state that our country is in.
Edited to add: Yes, my baby was a clump of cells and would never be anything more than that, but it wasn't JUST a clump of cells. It was MY clump of cells. It was MY baby. My baby who would have eventually formed into a whole, recognizable person if something didn't go wrong. When did we forget that babies are people, too?
I have had a miscarriage at about that time as well. Like you, I would do anything to hold that child. I know have been diagnosed with PCOS. Good luck to you.
The song “always” by JJ Heller helped me heal and process my miscarriage ❤I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant with my 4th and I’ve been anxious about losing this one so your story hits me hard. 😢 I’ll keep you in my prayer 🙏
fortunately (for her) her mom wasn't the same type of narcissist
Unfortunately for us, her mom wasn't lol
@darlingdeb7010 This, right here / This is precious .
@Jessica Fitzsimmons Pro life and natalist aren't the same thing. I'm the former, but not the latter.
Who could these people ask if childbirth is worth it? They have mothers, right? Or do their mothers not love them?
@Jessica Fitzsimmons For my personal self, I'm pro life. When it comes to abortion for the masses, I'm against tax payers $ being dedicated towards it. As a conservative, I don't believe the federal government has the right to make that decision for an individual. I believe each state should be in charge of their own state law for it on whether or not tax $ goes towards abortion clinics funding. The government should stay out of it beyond that.
Growing up I never wanted kids and thought I would never have them. Then I started to realize when I reach my 30’s it wasn’t the fact I didn’t want kids it was I didn’t want other peoples kids. I now have a daughter and another on the way. While pregnancy is not sunshine and rainbows all the time and my second has been especially rough on my body no list can change the love and excitement of watching your child grow, learn experience new things and just have fun. I’m all for having your choice and honestly some of these people I’m glad they don’t want to reproduce. ❤ Thanks for all you share.
Three kids by 27 here. Motherhood is the greatest gift I could have ever imagined! It has given me purpose and joy beyond what I could have hoped for.
I am so happy for you! Bless your family! We need more women to think like you!
3 by 27 wow! 🔥
The reality of being a mother should definitely be discussed more, but in a serious and realistic way with actual mothers being the main voice speaking. I actually found that the mental changes were wayyy more significant than the physical changes. Of course we can still joke about things, like how I'm excited for my first tax return with my little baby added to the mix. 🤣