Podcast with my ex girlfriend | Hamza Ahmed
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- Опубліковано 25 чер 2021
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I don't usually compliment other men, but this right here is a raw man, his presence, aura, calmness, fluidity, confidence in himself. Watching this clip for 10mins is enough for me to understand this guy meditates regularly and isnt your average joe
I must admit he def has good charisma lol. He has that famous actor energy you see in movies. IDK how he mastered it.
cap but on
ok*
@@bryankuo4469 lol you were on some other planet while watching this video
@@bryankuo4469 jealous?
You’ve got balls, Hamza...
Obviously.
he really does
Thanks
The parallels between this girl and my ex is scary. People can inject literally anything into her head and she’ll take it as her reality.
ikr, to post this podcast takes guts.
Every one is a chad until the girl that you love the most starts speaking
@@jackstarc111 shut the hell up dude. I just didn’t understand his comment. Don’t pull thoughtless inferences out of thin air.
@@jackstarc111 you’re a waste of brain cells. I can’t think of any valid reason to keep talking to you. It’s clear you just enjoy pissing off strangers on the internet because you have nothing else to do.
@@jackstarc111 You insulted a guy over nothing lol. It's clear you don't watch Hamza's videos, you just come here to make people mad in the comments. Get a life.
@@gannisyndrome2998 bro just relax
@@gannisyndrome2998 well it clearly worked, you fell for the bait
Tbh i just feel sad about this. This just made me realise that both of the people can be right in what they’re saying but the relationship can still fall apart from all of the complications and misunderstandings
This is something you learn when you're in a serious long-term style relationship. Thats why people say communication is key.
I think this word misunderstanding is BS. Most of the time there is one who doesn't want to give in Or both cant agree on something. And almost always things get hard and rather than try to change and fix it you rather give up. Which people in relationships nowadays then to do a lot. If you so easily give up when things starts getting hard shows what importance someone gave the relationship in the first place
as other people said, this is a fact of life. a healthy relationship is one where both parties can swallow their pride, listen to the other, and respect the fact that there are differences so long as there arent TOO many differences
To be honest, she seems lovely and good luck to Eve, but you can tell they were mismatched to begin with. It is sad, it sucks to hear tbh.
Yee I honestly agreed with both of them for some of the points so it’s disheartening to see that they did love each other but might’ve just not been for each other right from the beginning
The nightclub thing is so true. From experience I've met many girls that had boyfriends "outside" of the nightclub and that still flirted etc...
Well if she goes clubbing with her friends once in a while and you know the friends then it’s fine and you trust her she wouldn’t do that
@@phasesoffaize794 no brother, this is not good. I warn you to not let your girlfriend do this. And if she doesn’t agree shes not the one
@@pierrekk insecure cause you don’t want your girl to cheat on you, she can go out with friends and stuff that’s all cool but you think he’s insecure cause he doesn’t want her to flirt ???
@@aimane3375 she would go like once in a year that’s if her friends going she wouldn’t go every week or month that’s weird like we have good trust it’s like saying if I go she shouldnt trust me goes same way for her like im young only 23 so there are times you be going out with friends but my culture was strict Asian wasn’t normal for girl to do those things but we compromise and meet in the middle like at the end I trust her she wouldn’t do anything and she be coming back home so I’ll see her anyway it depends how much you care for your partner to cheat and remember cheating happens when you’re relationship isn’t happy
@@pierrekk you can’t blame him his probably raised that way to believe girl shouldn’t go out to enjoy with her friends like my girl wouldn’t never get drunk if she was to go out and we are cool like we care a lot for each other why would she wanna cheat like our bond is good
Very mature, most people won’t be able to have a conversation like this with their ex. Great form of healing. But I understand Hamza’s boundaries. Girls call it insecure or toxic. But in reality it’s intelligence and secures a future. Most women want men to adhere to their traditional masculine standards but they aren’t willing to do the same.
So true
its literally just having a standard, its her loss
It is having a standard but imo he should have trusted her a bit more.
@@swirleythrone7069 So true, but also, look at it like this.
Realistically nightlife wasn't something super big for her. But the reason it affected her was because it was more manipulative/controlling from her perspective even if it was a healthy demand for him. On a similar note if he trusted her way too much and just rolled over every time she makes a demand like a nightclub, then it will give her freedom to the point where if she cheated or something happens, he would just not find out about it much much later.
Most importantly both of them screwed up at the point where the value of input from both him and her was reduced. For example if he/she would just accept whatever then WHATEVER will be the only thing happening in that relationship, the demands form both the sides may keep getting ridiculous, tomorrow her demands will be something else, his demands will be something else...he will see it like, if she agreed to this then what else can she agree on? Trying to get each other to agree to every single whim..
And all this is from just watching first 32 mins of the video, I am losing patience, but I think if they respect each others opinions, see it from each others point of view, and come to a compromise. But then also she doesn't take her demands seriously, she feels she did not have any major demands or boundaries, and so she thinks if I don't really care so much, why should he? To come to a compromise both sides must want something and take that something seriously. And if she got nothing to lose other than the relationship, and she is not really that serious about any other thing or boundary or whatever, then ofc any negotiation may feel manipulative to her. So it goes beyond just basic respect too
i totally agree girls think there right in there own world they don’t understand us guys they call us controlling fuck of slags
this talk, rehashing old memories, painful episodes. this was more harder that any HIIT, intermittent fasting, 100 push up challenge, kundalini meditation crap. raw feelings, head on, for the world to see. i subscribed after watching this vid. Hamza youre a brave one
This is so mature and very humbling of you not many people including myself could have the balls to do this.
Why
@@rememberme3762 Idk the fact he made a 4 hour podcast talking about his private life public
@@jaqual7787 It's completely useless though. Why speak to an ex?
@@joys8634 I think they had some unresolved issues or topics that both needed to discuss
But I haven't watched the whole thing yet, it's just a theory, anyway let me know if this makes sense to you
@@joys8634 to grow and explain ans speak and understand
I’m really proud of you and your ex man. You two obviously have a lot of chemistry and were able to really take a step back and look at things and grow. I think you two still have a strong connection even though you’ll probably never get back together. This was really amazing to listen through. Never thought I’d watch a 4 hour video of a guy and his ex talking but here I am
Neeed a life mate
@@zainsikandar578 we’re all just learning from this king
u better not have watched the full thing
@@zainsikandar578 follow your own advice
why's that
Goddamn this was raw and real. Gives perspective.
13 minutes in I realized every girl thinks she is the exception.
Shes just like every other girl they all say that
Ya when she was trying to explain how she wasn't like other girls who go to night clubs, it was a like a light bulb going off. Every girl says this. Why they don't understand that it's incredibly easy to make a mistake and hook up in that environment is beyond me.
Human psychology
Solipsism
She's a becky
Imagine when the aunties find this video
Game over
hamza doesnt believe in islam anymore so he doesnt care whether its haram or not and its fine
@Arslan Malik he said it it his q&a
@@LLloyngzx how do u know
@Arslan Malik i feel like you only came here because he has a muslim name
Hamza my man, there is absolutely no one on this platform posting such raw content helping us get better. It’s like these life lessons come only when you experience it but you brought your personal life here for us to learn. Thanks man, huge respect.
I like how you both calmly decide to do this without it devolving into a screaming match and shit
@DANIEL CHUKWUKERE lmao
@DANIEL CHUKWUKERE No, she was pretty crazy to accuse him of being manipulative when he was just setting boundaries because when in a relationship you’re meant to compromise to some degree for the person you’re suppose to have strong feelings for. I’ll stop talking to certain girls for my current girl because my future is with her and not the other girls who are my friends.
@DANIEL CHUKWUKERE humans are far from perfect and can’t help how they feel towards certain individuals. Once you have the science down it’s not that hard to believe.
@@SHADOOjoey there's a difference between setting boundaries to protect yourself vs setting boundaries to control your partner...
@@mcnooby383 yea I know?
part 2 finna drop soon
After the first 3 minutes I saw everything I needed. Boundaries aren't controlling. She can go to a night club if she wants, but then she knows what will happen.
A man shouldn't change what he wants in a relationship because the woman doesn't fit the script. I'm happy for you, that you broke up
Him telling her he would have sex with her aunt ain't better.. really disappointing. Thought a guy preaching about no fap would have a somewhat deeper world view.
Exactly, she keeps playing the victim card and the manipulation card but the fact of the matter is, setting boundaries like that are purely healthy and logical, it doesn’t make sense to be in a relationship and still engage in degenerate behaviour as she did
I’m glad he has a high value woman now
"I've never put on makeup to impress a guy", fuck that shit.
Incredibly humble video. You could feel the spark and the chemistry between you. Its a shame it had to end but closure and mutual acceptance is what made this the cherry on the cake. A true gem of a video.
The balls u both have to get vulnerable like this infront of the world has to be Respected ! Both of u deserve huge Props 💯
But hamza got his balls twisted somehow
‘Education is the ability to listen to
almost anything without losing your
temper or your self-confidence.’ -
Robert Frost
He is the literal embodiment of this quote.
for real lol
You can be too
that's not what education is at all lol
that's just the ability to be rational
When I spoke to my ex a month or two ago again. She didn’t mind us joking around and such. But when I went into talking about feelings and our past toxicity. Got a reply like “I don’t like to think about the past” then hit me with a “ok mr philosophy”. Blocked me as well 🤣🤣🤣
Girls know that a guy is only talking to them because he wants something. The same thing applies to exes.
@@immers2410 nah I wouldn’t have wanted to fuck again. Just wanted peace of mind by confronting the past. Other than that, we could talk normally without any tension
I've experienced this
@@JAHIDxJD Same thing man, too bad girls don't understand because they have short memory.
@@afandifitri 100% truth.
This is a great video. It made me think of my relationship and how it is important to set boundaries from the start and how crucial open communication is.
Yep, you can’t be way into the relationship before setting boundaries.
For example, my current GF of 4 years occasionally smoked pot and I told her she would have to quit if she wanted to date me. She didn’t protest for a single second. If I waited 6 months before I set that boundary, there’s no way it would have went smoothly and would have armed to be like I was taking something away from er instead of her willingly giving it up.
This is so raw. Kudos to both of you for having the courage to do this
Hamza - you’re probably feeling sentimental about what you had, but you’re much better off moving on and going no contact. Use this as an opportunity to work on the control issues that you now recognise you have and once you’re emotionally healthy, look for a partner who is the same. This was a co-dependant relationship and wasn’t healthy for either of you. From a 42 year old veteran who learnt everything the hard way.
@@D22KS in some circumstances it is a good thing
I just want to say, I found you not long ago. I am 33 years old and I´ve pissed away my life up until now on drugs, porn, crime and generally being an absolute asshole to everyone around me. (I did start to train and tried bettering my life thru fitness about 5 years ago, which helped me get off heroin, but there was so much more I should have done but didnt.)
Your videos motivates me to keep getting better. I just started, but I am now 3 days clean of weed (smoking daily since about 13, also used my former heroin addiction as an excuse "cuz heroin is so much worse so I´m a good boy only smoking weed"-bullshit), I removed all my notifications on my phone and set my calendar as my homescreen and I of course meditate every morning.
I quit playing videogames (and shockingly not even ONE of my online friends has even talked to me since lol).
I know you mainly talk to "young guys", but you are truly making a massive impact in my life, even if I am starting to become an old cunt.
Respect my bro i absolutely and utterly respect you. Much love and make the most of the moment of now, fuck the past and the future is just a concept
Still improving?
Respect, man🙏
Bro your physique is crazy, keep up the good work! We are all proud of you
21:25 - 21:55 This is the dealbreaker man. As simple as that. "I should've never been told what I can and can't do in the first place". This girl does not understand, or doesn't want to think, that relationships imply sacrifice. She wants both the benefits of being in a relationship and the benefits of acting like a single girl.
Also, it's so enlightening hearing you guys, but especially her, talk. Tells me so much about what I've been through, and how I thought some things were unique, but in fact they weren't. She's talking about her girlfriends asking her to go to nightclubs in a way that paints it as it not being her idea, or being something she "doesn't really care about doing". My ex did the same, and we had such similar conversations to this with identical stances (although you got out in weeks, for me it took years...) This style of talking comes up as if she's trying to hide something, or isn't honest about her true desires and intentions. She blatantly refuses to take any responsibility for it, and says she went to nightclubs 14 times more than she would, had you not expressed your boundary. Jesus christ. I can see it so clearly when I look at you two, but I was so ambivalent to it when I was having the conversation... It's weird seeing this through a screen, but I respect you a lot for daring to put it out.
Interesting observation, thanks you for commenting, coming from a 23 year old with 0 experience with women
yeaaa, she is wrong about that. I think she needs to work on her relationship mindset more before she dates again. She has a very independent mind and outlook, it is pretty clear she doesn't want restrictions in life.
Dude you got some balls of steel. It takes incredible amount of courage, strength and resolve to do this. This shows that even though we may have been terrible men in the past, we can re evaluate it and move on to a better future
But hamza got his balls twisted somehow
HATS OFF MY Guy!!! This to me , being somewhat very empathetic I could feel the nervous energy even through the screen. So thank you for putting up with it for yourself and for your cult broh.
You've got massive balls for posting this for the whole world to see. Big respect
he must have had really good internet connection
But hamza got his balls twisted somehow
Hey hamza buddy you are our inspiration. Actually for those who want to do real self-development. Not listening to some motivational shit all day long. Who wants to go from Zero to Hero, Beta to Sigma, Normie to Chad 💯
Salute you man. Take Love ❤️
beautiful and sad at the same time, can really feel the connection the two of you have.
They were together for less than one month. If you think that's what a real connection is, you must be young.
Hamza is extremely calibrated and stood on his ground. I can feel his power through my laptop
I've had a rouuugh time with my ex lately. We basically fased the same problems that you do. Similar discussions with boundaries and so on. And after watching this i can confidently say i was put in a bad light for wanting a healthy loving relationship. You shouldn't have to argue with your girlfriend of 4 years to not post booty pics to insta. I dont know how many times i had to have this discussion with my ex. When the relationship is healthy, your partner does these things because THEY want to, not because you want to.
@@officialaleksiz Yes, indeed
pimp her out man make some OF money while searching for a trad wife..
@@officialaleksiz so fucking true man!
I don't know why but I feel kind of relieved that I am not the only one who has gone through all this!
Damn man. Sorry. She was def looking for pipe
@@leviborbely9727 this is the way
If you arent comfotable with your girl going to nightclubs, then you aren't comfortable with her going to nightclubs. You don't have to explain yourself and if the girl doesn't agree with it, break up and move on.
💯 agreed, i told the same to my ex you can live the life you want, that's fine but i no longer want to be part of it.
This is very raw well done for having the balls to put this out there hamza I don't see any other UA-camr doing this
Thank you hamza for posting this , I’ve never seen a healthy discussion , I’ve only seen yelling and screaming , but now I know that this is normal and healthy. And it’s amazing to see that you practice exactly what you preach . I remember u said to be comfortable with being silent , and I see you being silent to think , amazing .
Being mature is being able to love someone without trying to keep them in your life and accepting that you two can't be in a relationship as you're just different and still want the best for eachother and still give the respect to them as a person. I watched 9 minutes and I find it interesting as I couldn't talk to my ex without her going on shift-blaming and her getting angry when I tell her how I saw her behavior from my perspective.
this is so great. the conversation about healthy boundaries or controlling behavior is something that happened in a rleationship of mine and tbh i still dont know how to tell the difference
Although there were ups and downs and bad times and it didn’t end well , i am just happy that you guys are still on good terms and are cool with each other
Different views, different people, doesn’t mean either one of them are wrong. What’s right in their eyes is simply right 🤷🏼♂️👏🏼
That Auntie thing was wild af 💀 who does that?
Is not going to nightclubs a healthy boundary if your in a relationship? Anyways there is no healthy or unhealthy boundaries there are just boundaries and if there’s no compromise then go your own ways. She seen you leaving as an attack on her character as your “abandoning” her, which isn’t the case your just a man who knows his worth
People in love have nothing to do in a nightclub.
Especially if they go "with their friends"
Big big red flag. People go to the club to be seen, and or make a move. Everything else is a big lie and idiots will believe it.
@@oranges557 are you joking. I just go to the club to be with my friends and I have fun. No other reason?
@@idontknow950 have fun with what? You also can go to the bar if you wanna have music and drinks.
You definetly wanna be seen, to boost your confidence. Theres no clubbing just "to have fun".
@@oranges557 there literally is though, you can’t speak for everyone. I don’t want to be seen, I sit in the corner with my friends and just enjoy their company. I don’t talk to anybody I don’t know. I don’t see how if your in a relationship you have no business being there? Your with your friends and your partner should trust you?
@@idontknow950 so you could also be in a bar. It would be literally a better experience since the music is not as loud and you can understand your friends better :)
Damn That thing about having different personalities in different environments hit very close to home.
Your ex looks a lot similar to my own ex, with the personality as well. But when I heard you guys speak, it bringed up so many memories of my own past and it made me feel sad that it ended in bad terms, I do keep up with my exercises and my guitar practises, but I always look back on those days and think to what if scenarios, I really loved my ex, but I had to let her go for the greater good for my future, it hurts me to even express it or think about it now tbh
Wow… “I can’t imagine how anybody would be faithful towards me. “ that statement alone shows how much childhood stories affects our connections.
Wow! What patience, what self control,
What confidence. This nightclub conflict that you’ve both experienced is the same thing me and my ex went through, it feels like you’re just butting heads all the time and it gets painful, frustrating when you’re attached to one another.
This conversation was good enough that I forget when the time is and three hours passed. really valuable contents. thank you both
I lowkey admire Hamzas frame and mindset here 100%
You are a great influence to us hamza . Young and not so young people alike we apretiate your work and your persona . Do the work especially when you don't feel like it
Jesus this just really solidifies to me that i was right to be mad at an ex hanging out with a male coworker and texting them all the time. After I dumped her she ended up marrying him. I was right all along. But in the end it's my fault as the man because I wasn't secure in myself.
Head up high brother
Best video ever 👏, lots of lessons to take 👍
I have nothing but respect for both of you for having the guts to share your inner feelings and intimate conversations with the whole world to witness. This will no doubt help a lot of people with working through their relationship challenges. Peace ✌️
She’s struggling between her Ego and healthy boundaries in a relationship and what the Union of a man and woman mean to each other. There is a difference between ultimatums and discussing healthy boundaries.
Yes, and The Relationship lacked the communication skills to feel somehow able to Express the Way She Felt - aka game of telephone - as she CLEARLY felt slightly otherwise than his intention. However, not that far off, really. It was honestly an unfortunate mismatch from that point.
There are traditional expectations, and those sadly don’t match with our modern lives as we’ve been taught since birth to empower as females. And how many short weeks in? Maybe a bit more gradual; hey covid Seriously Screwed Us All up!!!
I think we all need a night at the club. Go together❣️💔🔥
Crazy how similar the process of why modern men and women break up is actually insane this reallly resonated with me
Very impressive Hamza,
Let us know how it goes
Watching this video is really enlightening because it is so similar to the situation that I experienced with my girlfriend and the way we both perceived things. I guess some people are just not compatible. Great video Hamza thanks for making this.
Honestly I love this. A bit long so will have to resume later. Really well done.
Shit, I feel like I should do this. Just have an hour long conversation with exes about what went wrong and why.
By all means do it, but after you’ve met someone else-if you still care by then
Only if there as mature to have a conversation like the ex this video I've wanted to do the same thing but either I was or they where to immature at the time
I love ur name and pfp bro, rest in paradise Etika
rest in peace Etika, joycon boyz 4 lyfe!
Thanks for the idea, might have to record one soon boys
I think Eve has a bit of a misconception about what boundaries are, and she confuses boundary-enforcement with manipulation. When Hamza asked her "So if I've got a boundary of not wanting to be with people who go to night clubs, and you want to go to night clubs, how do you think I should enforce that boundary in a healthy way?" and she got confused there and didn't know how to answer. That implies that she labelled it as "manipulative" only because she didn't like the response that she got, even though in reality it wasn't manipulation, it was just Hamza enforcing his own pre-declared boundaries.
So I think Eve doesn't really grasp the whole truth of what is healthy and what is toxic, which is understandable because she's young. These things take lots of relationship experience and time to learn.
Toxic is different for different people. We should accept and value these differences. I haven`t and would never be in a relationship with a person who "sets boundaries" such as you can`t go to X place, "to this, do that" etc. For me that sounds a tad childish(almost like playing a game of being in a relationship) and would be toxic and controlling as I value freedom and trust in a relationship. If there isn`t trust and inner knowing in a relationship that the person will respect and will not cheat on you without official rulebook("boundaries"), there is something wrong with it from the start. When there is a long list of items that your partner should "change" for the relationship to work out(especially if caused by having different values), you are most likely not compatible long term. When it comes to Eve, I think she has the right to decide what works for her and what`s healthy for her. There is no universal truth for relationships. If there was, someone would be a billionaire and we wouldn`t even have this video here in UA-cam.
@@elinasaksakulm5725 Rules like that exist for normies and are broken for Chad.
You would likely have no problem getting into a relationship with some guy who sets boundaries, if it was one of the hot tiktok boys, like Zario Bolanos
@@loth4015 relax bro. You can’t explain these things to most of them, they will come up with some irrational excuse.
@@elinasaksakulm5725 The idiot is strong with this one.
@@themarathoncontinues4211 you are 💯 correct
I lost one of my exes through a nightclub, i completely agree with that part. Obviously she was trash for doing what she did and it would of happened sooner or later but the nightclub definitely made the situation worse.
that is her fault, not the fault of the nightclub. when you are in a good relationship with trust then cheating shouldn't be an issue. if they want to cheat on you and go far enough to do it then bro let them, they clearly don't want the relationship and are not ready to be with you
@@arbbr9397 why would anyone justify going to a nigh club? you people have gone mad
@@nashiffuadkhan9817 These modern degenerates want to live 'single lives' while being in a relationship and they think that's perfectly fine. It isn't and never will be.
@@arbbr9397 ???
@@nashiffuadkhan9817 to see your favorite artist and have a fun night out with your friends? why are yall unable to comprehend that there are people who go to a nightclub and arent trying to get laid, hamza lacks that same comprehension in this discussion
Believe it or not I watched the whole thing. So relatable to my relationship with my ex. Worlds crazy
I think a lot of this can just be put down to youth and immaturity, particularly on Eve’s part. As an 18 year old I know without a doubt I would have called Hamza controlling too, but as a 24 year old woman I understand the boundaries with nightclubs & I appreciate Hamza’s position overall now. The issue in the West currently is that women want a masculine man but refuse to accept the natural order that comes with traditional relationships, and as a result perceive the man as ‘manipulative’ or ‘controlling’. It’s a shame these two didn’t work out, I’m sure if they’d had met at different points in life it might have been different
100% true. You can't expect your man do be dominant and masculine and then expect him to not set boundaries at the same time. It's either one or the other
I think you share a great point, but let me add to the "issue in the West"- we have a FAR, FAR too liberal view of sexuality. On one hand, it's so casual that you can just get it within hours of meeting someone at the night club. On the other, it's so dangerous that discussions of what consent it have blown up everywhere, and you should always protect yourself with a piece of industrialized plastic from disease and unwanted childbirth. Also, it leads to insecurities in relationships, because just as fast as something came to you, you can lose it to someone else. And that hurts a lot and causes jealousy, insecurity, and it hurts us deeply and causes trauma if that were to happen. So, come on people: is sex casual, or is it not?
I believe the latter.
Soooo true.
This is too relatable because just recently I had a first proper video call with my ex since we broke up. I pretty much know everything you felt here man, this was raw heh.
We almost all have the same problems, it's the way we react that makes the difference. Thanks, great video.
A boundary is a boundary. One should not feel forced to justify their boundary. If one person thinks a boundary is unreasonable/unfair, then they are welcome to leave the relationship.
It is rare to see people communicate in a civil manner in the age of instant gratification provided by the internet. Especially seeing exes talking normally and respectfully is inspiring. I just found it painful that Hamza was justifying his boundaries. It is not manipulative for a person to leave a relationship; it is manipulative to think that you are somehow entitled to a person and that this person leaving you is 'threatening' and 'toxic' for doing so.
People who don't have boundaries are people with low self esteem. Boundaries are set to only deal with people who are on the standard you determine.
Super interesting to see both sides. I don't like that your favorite trait of her's is that she changed herself for you. I think you may need to look into that, it does suggest that you might have some controlling tendencies. But thank you for sharing, very insightful video.
fascinating video. gives you both perspectives. sad it had to end.
This really helped me a lot, I have clarity now, thank you Hamza.
3 weeks y'all made this shit sound like years😭😭😭😭😭
what? they been together for just 3 weeks??
@@tellmey1 they're exes so no anymore but yeah they were together for just 3 weeks lol officially 3 weeks n they talked for like a month before that.. I'm not saying it's not possible but it's still funny af
@@DREAMP4RK3R can tell it was just casual she’s a club girl nothing good can come from them
Lmao what 3 weeks
cant express the respect i have for Hamz for doing this
It's not about if its ok to tell someone what they can or can not do... It's about having shared values, that's what the entire relationship and behaviours are founded on. You can agree that you both value monogamy, which is a value, and you both understand without having to say you have to follow that rule. Doesn' matter how many times she goes clubbing, it's her underlying beliefs which are revealed. It's also fair to feel like you don't want to be controlled but this is where communication can blur lines. If she values the freedom to do what goes against your values, then you just aren't compatable, it's that simple. The alternative is sacrifice so it depends what values you can drop/compromise on. If not, you stick to your values and move on.
You can learn so much from this for your own relationships
She's a feminist 101. Good thing you didn't knock her up.
💯
The tighter the grip, the more you will push the person away. Have done this mistake myself, so I’m saying this from a humble place. I think trusting that your partner wants the best for you is the number one thing that makes relationships last. If you assume they are out to harm you in any way, you have to work on yourself.
agreed. this is controlling behaviour which is really unappealing. nothing sexier then full trust in your partner having some fun with her friends once in a while... and this whole "girls can't go to clubs alone because they're gonna hook up" is so untrue! i go to the club to dance and listen to artists i love. i go for a fun time. i literally never go out to hook up and my friends are like this too.
This perfectly explained what you talked about attachment styles and communication
Great podcast
Thank you 💜💕great to see both perspectives wish more men would do this after a break up 💙
icl this shit mus of been mad hard to do but luv for doing it from the part im on rn
i see my Ex here. Nothing is permanent here brother. Humans especially females its only permanent if its useful to them. Telling you that you are controlling,toxic or insecure is shaming tactics that females use against men everyday to get what they want from men. Don't fall for it. You did the right thing. That was just a normal healthy boundary. But unfortunately you were not that multimillionaire guy with verified 100M followers for her to sacrifice all of her other options coming along with occasional girls night outs. You know it? Anyways you reached a next level of mastering yourself brother. You are very powerful and unstoppable. More power to you. Keep up the good work.
Truth my brudda
Facts
This comment needs a heart from the video’s OP
I don’t think she didn’t love him enough like you suggest. She’s just quite young and it was too early in the relationship for those boundaries. He wasn’t patient enough and too controlling
@@D22KS she probably was, but her family and friends were opposed to the relationship.
I’ve heard it said that brown guys in the UK are treated like black people in the US and I think there’s a lot of truth to that. We’ve got to overcome a ton of prejudice to be accepted by a white girl’s family. Most girls know this, hence why they will never want anything serious with you.
I'm so grateful that I found your channel couple weeks ago at 18 years. Proud member of the Hamza cult!💪
"telling me if i go to the club without you you'd break up with me"
first 3 minutes of the video, she ain't the one bro. why go club? if club its either she low quality or her friends low quality. you're a good one man keep it up.
Love the rawness of this. You do look bad in this video a bunch of times, so I admire your courage to put this on UA-cam. Everyone does things to others that they shouldn’t. I do think you have massive trust issues that should be worked on
Im an arabic boy who is born and raised in a scandinavian country and met a scandinavian girl. I can litterly see the similarities.
After we broke up she told me the same reasons. Now she runs of at paries hooking up with boys. I can relate to the controlling part, but if you really think about it you can’t change the way a person thinks.
They might change for you in the moment, but not forever.
The transformation in the dynamic between the two during the second half vs the first half of the video is insane… a lot of other people have commented this already but this is truly a raw video.. it’s insane
She's seems like a very good lair, she's so good at sprinkling a hint of the truth.
Hamza omg thank you so much for this video!!!
I've just come out of a relationship a month ago and thought this sort of thing only happened to me because I had bad luck or something.
This is just insane!
The hypocrisy, the manipulation, and the lack of empathy by certain women is disgusting...
I thought I was going crazy... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO!
Felt you on this, some people are sick in the head.
same lol and it devastated me. Turns out, people just like to lie and just can't keep some standars like honesty
@@bomboclarttt321 absolutely man..
Agreed
I saw this and immediately started laughing. Not at hamza or in a mocking way cause it reminded me of the encounters I had with an ex of mine after we broke up. The initial reaction of “wow I let this dude raw dog me and now we just ‘friends’ making casual conversations”. It was extremely awkward at first cause of that thought but eventually went back to normal as my brain understood the concept that you can be friends with an ex and it is completely normal. Idk why I decided to share this but to those who are just recently trying to be friends with your ex… if the friendship is meant to be, it will :)
currently going through this with my ex girl.... It's hard though... Anger, frustration and jealously is what I feel on a daily basis while still trying to stay friendly to her.
2:17:06 "We all change, when you think about it. We are all different people all through our lives and that's okay, that's good you've got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."
- The Doctor (written by Steven Moffat)
Bro knows 😨
Part 3 Then, when with time and discussions and real life experiences, the reality of who the other person is, behaves, thinks, is a total turn off, and landing is what is needed. Its also what happens to people who do not have very strong obligations in life. Alone in front of a computer, no absolute imperatives to have to deal with in life, jobs you do when you want, university life, even if you have a schedule, but its the relationships of people who live in their heads. no criticism, just really understanding this, cause I've lived the exact same stuff. its crazy. Im sure a lot of people went through that, especially during lock down. Its fancying a style, not a depth, not values. Im out of my relationship for 4 months, zero contact, and I see things with a step back. I realize how that was a mirror of egos and fantasies, not reality, not the best of me, just a series of triggers that mimic attachment and get totally mistaken for real love. I had real love, before that lock down relationship, that "locked me down"...like you feel in your mothers womb, but it's alienating and making you totally regress... I had 2 real relationships before, and there was zero drama. Drama is the sign of repressed energies, people pretending to be something to be liked by the other. In my case, we also broke up due to "sudden external circumstances", but it was also necessary cause we would not have had the strenghth to do it. And I believe that if people are really compatible, its not that they overcome circumstances, its that those "external" circumstances DONT EVEN APPEAR. She has a good point when she says : you didnt state your boundaries early, you waited until Im in love with you. Yet, I think that guys change when they feel different things. So, it wasnt necessarily a trap from Hamza, its just that there was no point in having such a conversation with a girl if youre not really in love in the first place. That shows also that we learn things about the other person with time. Thats why becoming friends first, hanging with each others social circle, getting to know more about a persons preferences, needs, is better than to rush in bed, and after that, try to create a fiction where a solid base is still possible. it just isnt , simply because it never was. In my case, it was worse, because i said my boundaries even before we were together, and before i was even infatuated, but the "other" told me later, they thought that I will change in time and be less "strict". I told that person "I know myself, I do not even want to change. I have had that working for me, and it is not a compromise for me". So, another thing, is when we think that the other person will change........ It almost NEVER occurs. We have to see that the person we see in front of us, IS WHAT WE GET.
This is the perfect example of the old concept of rsd, when they said a girl's RAS shifts when you break up. She will find reasons why dating you was a bad idea after breakup.
So much respect for you Hamza for sharing this.
Jeez you could've provided timestamps.
wow, this is great. thank you for sharing this to us
Boundaries and being controlling are two different things. Set healthy boundaries, and if your partner sees it as controlling, they aren't the one.
you still love her bro we can see it in your eyes
Really?
The issue is why is a night club even ever an option. Essentially she's fighting over being able to go somewhere which is suppose to be irrelevant to her, im sure her friends or relatives influenced her into making this a big problem.
Im glad you told her you did miss her a little, big up Hamza and Eve they were both very mature about this and hope both of them truly maintain happiness
Great video, I enjoy watching content where there are different views and them getting talked about. Side note I did find it funny whenever Hamza drunk out of his waterbottle, purely because it didn't fit the mood of the rest of the video. Overall excellent content and I wish to see more of Hamza's videos.
The break up was for the best. You are better off without her right now.
Man you focused so much on yourself, you didnt see your loved ones go by. Balance yourself my guy. No one wants to be an alpha in an island
Ooof... So much truth here... I don't think being alpha is being alone either... It's about leading people... I mean the word alpha IMO comes from wolf pack... The wolf that leads the pack is an alpha... So without people you aren't alpha
he's a sigma male clearly
Odysseus did well for himself
@Vexxter self righteous af. Ultra biased pro tips. Well done #🌈success
@@inb4play167 Odysseus wasn’t fucking real lol
I see all these encouraging comments towards you and I agree with all of them but I feel like it should also be said, and I think you know this already, those trust issues and insecurities are something you should definitely work on just as hard as all the other self-improvement you’ve done. Like dealing with that shit is just as important as getting fit and starting a business - way more important if we’re talking specifically about success in a relationship.
thanks for the lesson brother!
It's impressive to me. How almost all, if not all of the reasons people are toxic or repelling is because of confidence issues.