The Callisto Protocol (Zero Punctuation)
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
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Sorry for the late upload on this! Family was in town for the holidays today and completely slipped my mind. Enjoy and we'll see you in the new year! - Nick
Better late than never!
I'm confused, why was Callisto Protocol reuploaded on the website and at the same day the next game should have?
@@durpson This
@@durpson yahtzee is on a break, there arent supposed to be another episode coming out this week
@@durpson the reupload might have been a mistake, it happens to the best of us
2:04 “Hee-hee-hee, free damage for me~!” I can already think of several game enemies that quote can apply to.
Medusa heads are that for me
@@appelofdoom8211 Good choice. For me, it’s the Primal Aspids from Hollow Knight
If anyone genuinely hates these moments in TCP, consider using the telekinesis ability that the game provided you with for free.
@@Farowlol If the developers make an upgrade that totally side steps a mechanic of the game, then it is very likely that said mechanic is a bad one, and they should change it, instead of making players choose between it, and other upgrades.
@@Zurie I have no idea what you're talking about, it's not an upgrade you choose over anything, it's an ability that is forced upon you much like Kinesis from Dead Space.
Removing the block button from fighting games because it exists to sidestep the attack button is a funny concept, though.
I'm starting to think people are getting paid to hate on this game, I have never witnessed such brainrot.
Times like these make me reflect on what I really liked about dead space.
-Creepy atmosphere; immersive UI
-Creative and thematic enemies, along with creative and thematic weaponry
- Cutting-edge graphics
-While the brutal death sequences were memorable, I really liked the action-packed cutscenes where Isaac gets the snot smacked out of him and he gets back up and charges ahead
-Delicate balance of health, ammo, and upgrades
-Every once in a while, you think you’re safe and then there’s a stalker in the elevator
If you want to recreate its magic, you can’t just pick a handful of them; you’ve got to assemble as many as you can.
Go in a bit back on the weapons, all the weapons felt and sounded great, very punchy. Each weapon felt like they had their use but never felt like a bad idea to bring.
@@meloncholy428 I love the line gun for that reason - I don’t know how damaging it really is, but the weapon has some heft and great sound.
The elevator thing only happens twice in the whole series. Doesn’t mean that I don’t sit in the corner aiming across in every single elevator in the whole series.
@@meloncholy428 And like the OP said, they were unique, cus lot of them were mostly power tools on a planet cracker mining ship.
The plasma cutter: meant for engineers to cut through softer minerals.
Supercollider Contact Beam: Engineering tool meant to pound and soften hardened minerals
Ore Cutter Line Gun: a more heavy-duty plasma cutter for cutting rock and ore into bits and pieces
Graviton Accelerator: Meant to shatter rocks, move rocks in low gravity to other miners, or deflect dangerous debris
One major acceptation is the pulse gun which is used by security
@@DizzyScorpia
Exactly! You don't need a ambush in every elevator, just make it feel you CAN be ambushed is enough to put you on edge.
The way Yahtzee always seems to be the last person that reviews a game means that if it's really, REALLY bad you can snuggle up and get ready for the fireworks ahead of time
You're aware they go public on youtube a week later? This was up on the Escapist last week, or on youtube if you're a paid subscriber to the Escapist youtube channel.
It varies. Sometimes if he’s aware everyone else has already shit all over a game he’ll go easier on it out of pity. Clearly not this time though.
The Wagon Wheel looked weird. Like it’s blue which should be jammy but it’s a different shade.
@@Mopman43 Relax homie
@@Mopman43 In their defence last week would still have made Yahtzee one of the last reviewers to check this one off. but of course a good roasting is never too late.
"Hehehe, free damage for me :3"
I love this 🤣🤣
The dodge mechanic of Callisto in a nutshell: you can't dodge to the same direction twice, if you dodged right next time dodge left
Yes, and that makes dodging really easy, but the game did not explain it really good. So it took me 2000 deaths to get it. 😅
The problem is that seems random. I've done the dodge left and then right and still gotten hit.
@@demonintellect9834 It's not necessarily random, but more so a secondary problem with the dodge mechanic, which is that it doesn't have i-frames. Therefore, even though they intend for it to be automatic regardless of which direction you hold, some of the enemies have attacks that are bigger than the dodge...
I hope everyone likes playing Mike Tyson's punch out
Callisto Protocol combat: press left. Then press right. Then press left. Then press right. Then press left. Then press right. Oh, and mash the attack button when you have the chance. Also it doesn't work in any way whatsoever when you get attacked by more than one enemy at a time, which is a lot of the time. Jesus fucking wept, how did this system even get through alpha without someone pointing out "Hey, this combat system kinda sucks big hairy balls"?
“Stupid neutral” is my new favorite insult, right next to “half-baked cupcake” and “unfinished bottle of soda”
It feels like the game overdo it with jumpscares. At a certain point it just isnt scary anymore.
Doesn't help that the enemies just aren't as scary as the Necromorphs from Dead Space
jump scares arent scary when you expect a jumpscare
it can be a bit tense waiting for the jumpscare you know is going to happen, but it doesnt scare you
horror comes from the unexpected, from knowing there is something bad around the corner, but not what it is, from knowing there is danger, but not from where
the moment you understand the danger it stops being scary, you know when you open the door something will jump at you, thats not scary
its the same reason i find pretty much every "you cant kill the monster only run away" game to not be scary, cos after a certain point you are just going through the motions, oh the monsters here so i better run into this room and stand in a cupboard for a minute until it leaves, oh look its here again, hello cupboard my friend, it becomes frustrating, it becomes tedium
jumpscares are the same, im of the opinion jumpscares are cheep horror to begin with, they arent necesary and good horror doesnt use them at all, but if you MUST use them, sprinkle them in, if theres a new one every 2 minutes they have no impact at all
I believe that jump-scares can never be truly scary. If there's no buildup, them the audience's reaction isn't fear; it's just momentary shock. But the whole point of a jump-scare is that it jumps out of nowhere with no buildup.
Incidentally, this is also the reason I strongly dislike mimic enemies in video games; they're not scary, they're just annoying.
True. All "scary" games I've played (not many) Doom 3, Dead Space, Dead Space 2 we're just filled with monster jumping out of nowhere to the point you just don't get scared anymore, it's more annoying than anything. Two steps look around to see if you trigged a spawn, two steps, look around pick up some ammo, two steps, SPAWN TRIGGERED, SHOT AT EVERYTHING. Repeat until you finished the game.
@@jlev1028 I have never played Dead Space 1.
In any case, I'm not saying that jump scares can't be good; I'm just saying that they can't instill real fear.
Honestly I want a survival horror which goes the way if evil dead, as in the main character gets ridiculously competent by the end and also much more deranged and actually interesting as a character.
Edit: I believe I have been misinterpreted or vague. What I mean, is I want the first game to be a fairly clunky, hard and genuinely scary horror survival. All the way through. Then a 3rd game we didn’t need tbh, but in which the only returning character is the main one, and he’s less fussed by the horrors and generally stronger, as some say like resident evil 4. Then a 3rd game where horror doesn’t exist and the main character is the spiritual successor to duke nukem.
In terms of actual games, I want silent hill 2, then resident evil 4, then devil may cry. With one main character, surrounded consistently by people whom no matter what still think they’re in silent hill2
Unfortunately that conflicts with every devs need to make a pov protagonist a voiceless blank slate. Closest your going to get is Parasite Eve but Aya stays in control through the whole thing.
i mean isn't that kind of dead space 2 lol
Condemned: Criminal Origins
It's not survival horror but that's 100% the arch of Jason Brody in Far Cry 3, probably why it's so many peoples favorite of the series
Prey is entirely this. The game begins with you having very few ways to handle threats and having to stealth to avoid most enemies. By the end, you've terraformed the space station into your own playground of murder and no matter what is sent after you, you can easily destroy it so much so that you have become the monster on the space station.
I love that the art for this game has the hero slumped over, not so much wounded, as instead of just fucking done with today and deseperately tired.
You reeaaalllly forgot to talk about the funny amounts of spike walls they threw in every sections of the game no matter where you are for conveniences of your gloves
I diddnt even realise they were for that untill like chapter 6
"Cat piss poke balls" made me laugh harder than it probably should
I warned a friend to wait for reviews on this one and now he's butthurt that he didnt listen.
I'm pretty sure you can just hold the left stick in either direction and you'll successfuly dodge as long as you were holding it before the hit would land. I don't think enemy animations matter at all as far as which way to dodge, you could just hold left everytime and it would work as long as you then go right for the next hit in the combo.
You also have to alternate sides to which you dodge if I remember correctly after each attack
Is an oddly exciting feeling knowing this will be the first year of me being subscribed to The Escapist meaning I'll *re-watch* all of this Zero Punctuation reviews instead of just eating the compilations of past years as I cannot have enough of this kind of videos
David Suchet was the best Poirot. Watching Kenneth Branagh is hilarious though XD
Happy Holidays Escapist staff!
They fixed some of the problems with the animations, now you can skip death animations, you switch weapons and heal way faster. At least the developers are listening to the criticism.
That's good.
Though why didn't they just do that in the first place?
Anyways, at least they listened to to criticism and fixed the problem. That's good to hear
@@CBRN-115 There were a lot of things they should have done in the first place, that they are doing now. Like shader compilation on PC. When the game shipped, there were none, which was the number one problem with the performance. They added shader compilation days later, but it was too late for me, I already had refunded the game. The worst part is, apperently the game didn't ship with shader compilation because of a mistake made by a single developer. Pretty costly mistake if you ask me
They should be listening to their QA department before releasing the game, though: Except then they would have to pay them, rather than having customers pay for the privilege of beta-testing. When you can just patch something in later, it's a lot more profitable to release a broken or unfinished product than it is to miss a deadline.
They're not listening to criticism because the care, but because they don't have to pay these people for the work they put in. Same reason why every website or app now wants you to leave a review: It saves on the expense of market research.
I just started it today, played for around 3 hours, and man, would I not recommend it to anybody unless it's on a deep, deep sale. There are so many archaic elements - like a core feature of almost every battle being QTEs, through a fight-dodge-shoot system that is beyond clunky, and all the way through needing to click through multiple menu tabs to play a barebones recording you just obtained, and needing to just stand there and listen to it, otherwise it cuts out... the last thing is particularly annoying to me, games figured out 15 years ago that it is way more exciting for players to have those in the background. Only reason to design it in the current way is to pad out the already kind of short game duration. Couple of positive notes can be said for the visceral nature of the combat and the ambient atmosphere, though that too loses its charm faster than not.
Gawd, I hate fricking auto-holstering. Apart from anything else, it's such a massive dump on player agency - Red Dead Redemption 2 just _assumes_ I don't want to be riding around with a rifle for more than four seconds unless I'm actively aiming down the sights, when I could just be out hunting and/or want to be ready if a wolf or cougar pops out. But nope, "Shit, been four seconds, cain't go ridin' with m' rifle all out in the open like this..." If your goal is to make me feel I _am_ the protagonist, do not have them do shit I didn't tell them to!
Enemies not having ragdoll physics when you push them back with the glove, making them stick to the ground right in front of you is a huge issue too.
The moment I began calling the face hugger guys, wigglers. Was the moment the horror went out of the window. And the biofages all begame wigglers.
At this point, if a game developer claims they are the maker of so and so, then I am going to assume it's poop until proven otherwise. Because it's safer than assuming it'll be half decent or better.
Stupid Neutral is my favourite D&D alignment
I got two of your books for Christmas Yahtzee!
Mogworld
Will save the galaxy for food!
I’m glad I’m not the only one that died to the first enemy because I misunderstood the dodge mechanic as well. I thought I had to flick the stick as the attack was coming to dodge at the proper moment.
This game was exactly what I expected a Dead Space "spiritual sequel" to be! The combat was bland and repetitive but the gore and visuals were brutal.
Something I always get pushback on is the idea that survival horror games don't actually want to kill you. They want to threaten you with death, and that's a very different animal. You kill me too much and I'm just going to get over it. You constantly threaten me with death and make it seem like I only survived thanks to the feeling of warm piss in my pants giving me super-cognition then that's an experience.
If this weren't the case then why would Resident Evil work so hard on dynamic difficulty?
So in a weird way focusing on Death Animations is a weird bandage on the problem. Sure, it's nice to have for when it happens, but you don't actually want it to happen too often.
I remember when I was thinking about how Subnautica felt to play, I realized that the reason why it's so effective as horror is because it kills you so RARELY. A frantic scramble that's kind of dangerous but seems like a down-to-the frame escape from death is tense and makes you want to be more cautious. A dozen deaths gets you used to death and makes you stop caring.
Yeah. From what I've seen from other people playing, I have to agree with a lot of Yahtzee's criticisms here. If a game has health taxes, it's not a game I want to play.
0:44 Ouch! .. I'm not the person getting roasted here but I felt that all the way on the other side of the earth 😂
It's funny but those pistol illustrations are my favorite gun - the Jericho 941fs used by Spike Spiegel in Cowboy Bebop (as well as Israeli military/police).
First time in years I watched a zero punctuation in years. Glad this is still around 😁👍
They REALLY LIKE smashing the hell out of Jacobs head more than anything else.. so much for death animations being half the fun.
Have you noticed the enemy's clip in and out when being attacked by 2 one will go missing and also will clip in right before a surprise attack you can notice a part of the enemy clipping
Best summary of this game is: The Last of Us + Dead Space 3 + The Order: 1886 + E3 Showcase = Callisto
After lazy googling, the supposed Dead Space 'creators' involved in Callisto was actually just the vice president of the studio.
So basically the suit who sat on his butt in a office, while writers, programmers and artists did all the actual work.
Wonder if we'll see a review for the outer wilds dlc
One of my biggest issues with this game is that nearly every bit of plot progression that happens is "and then he fell off the thing". Many other gripes with this game, and at no point was it actually scary in any way. The atmosphere, music, and lighting is great though. Aside from those, there's not much else here.
I am so glad it wasnt just me being a cynical asshole, I went into this game WANTING to love it, and now it's been a month and I haven't finished the final boss. Not because I can't do it, because I don't WANT to do it. And knowing it'll end on an unsatisfying "until next time" note does not help.
Hearing my first and middle name over and over again was quiet the trip. So close to total immersion just missing my last name.
"Right, left, right, left! Yo, that jacket is TIGHT son! Ya mean!?!?"
The...the game literally tells you in the tutorial that which direction you hold to dodge doesn't matter, just as long as you hold a direction when attacked and don't hold the same direction twice in a row.
And the QTE lies to you.
@@breecegriffith5896 what QTE? You literally hold left or right, dodge, hold the other direction, dodge, attack, rinse and repeat.
@@nextgenwarrior The QTE that teaches you to dodge left and right right before the first zombie encounter? Why was it even included if it doesn’t matter? It’s set up as if you should both time the dodges and to dodge away from the enemies attacks, but it doesn’t matter. People are going to learn from actions more than words
0:21 Skulduggery Pleasant
Holy shit those loading screens where ridiculous, but I think it would’ve been cool if Elias would’ve popped up and did a jump scare when you use the shop randomly but it only happens once. Like for example you upgrade a weapon and go to grab it and Elias pops up and grabs you kinda like how Nichole grabbed you in dead space 2 after you crawl out the vent. I think this game could’ve really had good scares if done correctly but it was so predictable you could see it coming a mile away. But it was a fun game after you get used to the combat and start upgrading your Baton and grp. I just really hated how they used the same boss 4 times and it got boring and it was the same moves every time even the final boss was like that same moves over and over. I do hope to see a sequel because they definitely have a good game it’s just rough around the edges.
I think Ben got to that point where people reving OG Silent Hill games were in back in the day. :)
I played Resident Evil 7 again recently and it had many of these issues in it too. I wonder if the devs looked at RE7 and said let's do that but worse.
Omg they even fucked up audio logs. BIOSHOCK GOT IT RIGHT 15 YEARS AGO.
I never played a horror game before. As a starter game, it was really fun and the story was interesting. Would play again
Are you going to do a review on MegaMan battle network legacy collection next year?
To be fair, the first chest made us all suspicious of the rest of the chest
About ready for weapon thing
You can whack the enemy if you dodge the enemy without fail
Wtf is going on when you're telling the emergency plumber to bring a gun !?!?
Proud of all of you who didn't give in to the hype.
I noticed slow movements along lately with graphically high games lately
Fun fact while watching this video I decided to head over to the Epic Launcher to see which games I got for free this week and I kid you not one of the two free games was The Motherfucking Callisto Protocol so I took it as a signs from the gaming gods and ordered the game
Rice crispy face with rised arm and dirty dishes with other. LoL!
I missed the "bring a gun" at the end that first time.
Ah yes, the mighty no. 9 effect is at play I see
Uhh... The Dodge mechanic is just that you Hold
Left or Right, auto Dodge the attack, then before the next attack hits, you Hold in the Opposite Direction to Dodge that attack. You just go back and forth Holding Left then Right then Left then Right, Dodging and Weaving. It's not even timing based, as long as you don't Hold In the same direction twice in a row or miss time an attack, its actually pretty easy. And that seems to be the focus of his entire grudge against the game. Markiplier managed to figure it out almost immediately.
I love Zero Punctuation and Yahtzee, but I don't feel that mechanic was all that difficult to understand in game. and it could have just been looked up if there was some confusion.
I agree with you the controls were kind of bad, but once I got used to them they were a little less bad. I hated the face huggers jumping out of things. On my trek to the last boss every chest I opened those little fuckers were in every one
It's "I can't believe it's not Dead Space!"
Time waster: the game
Thanks
Ouch.
As a professional plumber I take offense! We always answer the phone and head over if needed even Thanksgiving day! Cmon
Sounds like you didn't actually read the tutorial about dodging when it popped up in front of you.
And you absolutely can immediately use the melee weapon if its holsters. Just not if there are no enemies.
Yatz seems to be particularly... spicy as of late.
Oh boy. Here we go.
Place your bets, people. Place your bets on whats going to be on Yahtzee's Best/Worst/Blandest lists. Here's my picks for each:
Best
5) Hardspace Shipbreakers
Work-a-day life sim in Sci-Fi setting with a story he could get behind.
4) Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope
Yahtzee didn't care for the first game much, and this one improved upon practically everything (enough to say in a Slightly Something Else that he was pleasantly surpised by how much he liked it). Plus, its a Sci-Fi comedy that made Yahtzee laugh. And any Yahtzee fan knows he appreciates a good Sci-Fi comedy
3) Tunic
Primarily the fact that it has a unique form of storytelling that Yahtzee seemed to very much enjoy.
2) Metal: Hellsinger
Mainly because of his love of BPM: Bullets Per Minute, and this is that with a campaign mode and a presentation that doesn't make everything look like chocolate
1) Neon White
Yahtzee has mentioned Neon White and how much he liked it ever since his ZP of it. So, obvious winner
*) I don't think Elden Ring will make it on his list this year since he's commented how he's gotten sick of and quit Elden Ring before finishing it on some videos. If it does make it on his Best list, I expect it will be ranked low
Blandest
5) Bayonetta 3
Yahtzee never seemed to click with the Bayonetta series, and this 3rd one is basically going through the motions again. Both his ZP and Post-ZP stream of this game about a scantaly clad witch gunfighter battling larger than life monsters seemed dull
4) The Quarry
Yet another generic slasher horror "game" from Super Massive Games
3) Return to Monkey Island
I don't think this will make his worst list since he didn't seem to hate it enough. He honestly seemed more bored by it due to its weak puzzles and story that wasn't funny or clever
2) Saints Row
Volition going back to making a GTA knock off today in a post Saints Row IV world was a stupid idea to begin with. And the game that came out is just as bland as you'd expect
1) Gotham Knights
He put Marvel's Avengers (a live-service game with Marvel superheroes) as his number 1 blandest games of 2020. So I'm thinking he won't resist putting Gotham Knights (a live-service game with DC superheroes) as his number 1 blandest game of 2022
Worst
5) The Callisto Protocol
Yahtzee really didn't like this one. This is a last minute edit, so I don't have much to add here, and it might end up higher on his list than I estimating. But it's kind of hard to think he'll think its worse than the rest.
4) A Plague Tale: Requiem
This game seemed to be another Last of Us/Last of Us Part 2 game for him. Though he didn't seem to hate it as much as The Last of Us Part 2
3) Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
Not only did this game piss off Yahtzee more than anything else this year, it seemed to piss him off more than any game in the past few years. I'd put this game higher, but he reviewed 2 other games this year that I think he hated more. Plus, this was made by a new game studio, while the next 2 games were made by AAA studios (and both published by Square Enix)
2) Babylon's Fall
Platinum Games somehow made an action roleplaying that visually looked boring, played like ass, wasn't loud/bombastic/energetic in anyway, and required not 1 but 2 separate accounts to be created (1 of which you had to pay for), even if you were going to play offline
1) Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin
Seriously, just watch his ZP of this, and then come mourn with me over the fact that we never got a Post ZP Stream of this.
@@trustyvault13canteen32 I don't think he necessarily hated Scorn though. He found it disgusting, but he seemed more passive on it than anything since Scorn was practically designed to be repulsive. And I remember him saying he didn't get the same negative reaction to it like he did with Agony.
These are good lists
I'm surprised there's no mention of horizon: forbidden west since he literally said he hated it and Sony, and made a whole video about how badly written the protagonist is.
@@euclidshield4932 Horizon: Forbidden West was originally my 5) pick primarily for his hatred of Aloy, but after seeing this review, I think he hates The Callisto Protocol more. And during his Post-ZP stream, he commented that he doesn't think he hates Horizon enough for it to be on his worst list. Horizon might end up on his Blandest list, but I feel in a year with so many Jiminy Cockthroat Games, he might say that Horizon is too bland for the bland list (kind of like he did with the first Horizon game).
@@longdongsilver3267 yeah, good point
I wonder how different the review would be now that there have been some fixes to the game, like the animations and such
Oh yes, another example of Peak Hype Train
You'd think people would have learned by now
Some people never learn.
This review feels a bit different from at least two parts of the game itself. The dodging which is easy, you hold in a direction it will always dodge. The game wants you to alternate dodges, so long as you don't keep holding that same direction it works fine and you can never be hit in a one-on-one. Second, death animations have a skip, a button prompt comes up every time for it. So unless these two features were patched in, this seems off.
They patched in the skippable death scenes, and as for the dodge, it has no i-frames so it’s needlessly punishing if your timing is off by like a millisecond or two - hell, I’ve even heard that one or two enemy attacks are bigger than the dodge frame (can’t personally confirm but with how this game is, that wouldn’t surprise me). They should have either added i-frames to the dodge to make it a little more forgiving, or not added a dodge mechanic at all.
The official twitter account for this game has me blocked. I've never interacted with it so I don't know why.
What a fucking UA-cam idea for a game
I have nothing against this game, I just come here for the hyperbole and the snark. Great Stuff, as always!
Was the dev saying that he worked on deadspace just the guy who came up with the concept and viusal but not the gameplay? Makes sense
He was a producer for the series
this game was originally supposed to take place in the pubg universe. all you need to know.
Loved this game, and enjoyed this video too 🤘
i enjoyed the the game but i agree it was frustrating with the melee combat face huggers and the unskippable death animations and not to mention the 1 hit boss enemies it's frustration from start to finish a game should relax you not raise your blood pressure
CATPISS POKEBALLS.
That is all.
2:42 - 2:50 DAMN
Year end is almost here. Who’s looking forward to 5 best/worst/blandest?
Enjoyed the review, he is always entertaining. Enjoyed the game, too.
Honestly, would love to see Yahtzee's take on Signalis, since it seems to be up his ally for Silent Hill esque survival horror
He would probably criticise how the story needs at least 2 playthroughs and at least one story analisis to get a firm grasp on what the hell is really going on, which is not completely invalid, not everyone likes cryptic storytelling of this degree. Also the limited inventory, 6 slots is just too little for comfort, 8 or 9 would've been better (yes, Chris in RE had also 6, which is why most people played as Jill, shut it strawman XD)
It seems my wish has been granted
If quitting and reloading is quicker than dying and respawning, take your game back to the Taco truck and try again. That might as well be rule one of game design.
I disagree, sometimes a long death animation can be interesting/thematic. Now, if you're not making them skippable so the player can chose "I'm tired of this one, I'll pass" , that's unforgivable
@@enriquejoseantequerasanche6180 you can't disagree with him while agreeing with him. That's illegal!
(psst, skippable death scenes = not slower than quitting to menu)
Careful, rather than make the animations quicker, they'll just make it take longer to reload. :D
Too Human did it better!
The exception, of course, is games where the death animations are the core content.
Like in most porn rpgs where after getting beaten by the flower monster, your reward is getting to snuggle up with the flower monster and have its babies.
"Prey and Dead Space made some really ingenious improvements to the System Shock formula. With that in mind, we're taking the shittiest parts of each of them and making a game out of that."
EXACTLY.
I’m fucking dying 😂😂😂😂
This should be the top pinned comment. Maybe it'll convince more people to play System Shock or Prey... 😏
I like the game and I'm still chuckling at that, have an upvote!
I'll be honest, this entire stupid game was worth being made just for getting to hear Yahtzee say "omnomnomnomnom".
2:11 Yahtzee Omnomnom Button
@@ThatDamnRaccoon EEE! Omnomnomnom
Thanks for the timestamp
:3
:3
Hee-hee-hee, free damage for me~
God I love me a pissed off Yahtzee. Wonderful critique!
The more he is pissed off, the better
Ah yes, yet another "Game from the creators of" that turns out to be made without any of the competent people from the original studio. Back 4 Blood, anyone?
It seems you’re more likely to get what you want if the game was made by people who _played_ and _inspired_ by the original rather than the people who were actually involved. I guess in some weird way that makes sense. The people who played it know why they love it better than people who created it, because the creators already had a vested interest (their idea/work) versus a player that doesn’t automatically have that investment, and has to be convinced from nothing.
@@mrshmuga9 Inspired has been pretty iffy too. I mean inspired just means "this looks similar to the thing I'm doing so it is kinda inspiring". I will say any games being created from the MODDERS of a game is almost destined to be pure gold though as they loved the game so much to work for free on it and took ideas from the community, which devs just do not ever do.
@@setcheck67 Fallout: The Frontier though...
@@mrshmuga9 Sounds good, until you realize that Glenn Schofield and his team (the people who created Dead Space) are literally the same ones who made Callisto. When EA shut down their development studio, they left to make their own studio, which is the one who made Callisto Protocol, with Glenn at the helm. It might not be 1-1 all the same people, but it's definitely the majority including the creator himself.
@@setcheck67 Not necessarily. Plenty of indie devs are making games that _are_ genuinely like the game they were inspired by. Most prominently are the Paper Mario-inspired games. There's so many that they even came together to make their own "Paperverse Direct" to showcase them all. The broadened the term for what they show (typically RPG's or paper-aesthetic games), but it started because there were/are a bunch of PM-inspired games and people wanted to know what's available.
Games like: Bug Fables, Born of Bread, The Outbound Ghost, Flynt Buckler Wakes the Sleepy Castle, Seahorse Saga, Tale Feathers, and so on. They all are RPG's, with action commands, and partners that help you in battle with their own moves. Some are still in development, but regardless they are emulating the originals better than what the actual studio putting out. Because the people in charge of Paper Mario for the last decade wanted to make it into something completely different.
Apparently the devs "realized" that speeding up the healing/reload animations made the game much more playable, so they implemented that change. And apparently that fundamentally changes the way the game plays entirely. I remember hearing Brad Shoemaker (now of Nextlander) remarking that the game would have felt a lot more different to play through with how fast the animations play out now. And if you ask me, it sounds like no one playtested the Callisto Protocol if something like this can even be made possible.
The healing in particular is such a bizarre design choice. In Dead Space 1, you pressed a quick heal button and you got healed on the go, no hassle. That's because they realized that you almost certainly would have to heal in the middle of a tense firefight and if recovering took any longer than "Right the heck now!" you were probably going to be reloading a checkpoint. How is it that the folks who made this game forgot that simple point?
@@blastinus3714
They were trying to make it like The Last of Us, but I think healing in that game takes half the time it does in Callisto. It also explains the melee combat. TLoU did it too.
@@Ckoz2829 the reason it works in The Last of Us, besides being faster (And being able to upgrade to faster still), is that the level design and enemy ai allows you to get away and hide in cover to do the long heal. Whereas the Callisto Protocol is all tight rooms/corridors with very aggressive enemies.
All of the patches that have been released have improved things so they aren't as bad (though the game definitely was poorly optimized on PC and playing on the PS5 is strongly encouraged). Yahtzee tried them out during the Post-ZP stream last week so it might lift the game from being on his Worst of 2022 list to Bland of 2022 list. I think what really hurt this game is how much it was anticipated to be a spiritual successor to Dead Space yet Callisto Protocol plays completely different from it.
@@jcohasset23
I saw, the sped up healing and tweaked a few things. I’ll play it again when NG+ comes out. I thought the game as it was was only ok. Even with these improvements, I’m thinking it’ll still be average, but a little polish never hurts.
The Callisto Protocol is to Dead Space what Back 4 Blood was to Left 4 Dead.
That’s the most damning indictment of this game possible.
That's a sick fucking burn, but both Callisto Protocol and B4B deserve it because they are disgraces.
B4b is fun for different people then l4d. Being able to customize your character and how you play is more fun for some than everyone is pretty much playing the same thing but different skins like in L4D.
Personally I enjoy both . They are Both are great for different reasons.
@@Radicalbeast the issue for b4b is the same as the callisto protocol: they were both touted as spiritual successors to their respective forebears, when they clearly aren't.
@@sunderedsoul6495 "Misery loves company" is an adage for reason. That said, the world could have gone without at least one of them since it was already full crappy talentless "spiritual successors" just in the game department even recently between stuff like _Balan Wonderworld_ compared to _NiGHTS_ and _Mighty No. 9_ compared to _Mega Man_ (the Classic series). To say nothing of all the _Doom_ and _Dark Souls_ clones if we're including "spiritual successors" for series that aren't even dead or in limbo.
In fact, I have to wonder if at this point there aren't already more bad games than even bad films that would be examples of this even with all those crappy Friedberg and Seltzer movies that "spun off" from the _Scary Movie_ series. Hmmm....
From everything I've seen, Callisto Protocol is to Dead Space as Lord's of the Fallen is to Dark Souls
Nice burn
Oof, that's a... Fwoosh. Take my like, buddy
Now that's not fair... to Lords of the Fallen.
At least it was just a bland, boring, badly-balanced rip-off of Dark Souls. It wasn't completely and utterly inept on every level like The Callisto Protocol.
I'm not sure how I feel about hearing the sliced meatball sandwich analogy while literally slicing meatballs for a wrap.
well i am
Gottem
Wait, why were you slicing meatballs? They are meat balls, not meat hemispheres
@@seokkyunhong8812 They were too large to fit into the wrap without being cut up
@@sasukesarutobi3862 go to the store and get larger wraps. Do not compromise the ball!
I have watched several reviews of this game so far because I enjoy watching people shit on games that are shit (I am a fan of zp afterall) and the funny thing is, everyone describes the dodge mechanic differently. Some say you only need to hold in any direction and they dodge, others say you have to do a series of directions or every other direction. It must be very poorly designed.
The dodge is indeed tricky. For example if you want to avoid swing after swing you have to hit left-right-left-right (or vice versa) as the game states "Evade the second attack in the opposite direction of the first dodge" This usually works but sometimes the dodge starts unexpectedly (I had the dodge animation while i was pushing the block button). Also I played on Pc which seems to be easier controlwise then on consoles
You would love love "just bad games" by rerez. They tear down the worst of the worst ever.
I watched SkillUp's (completely negative) review, and when he explained how the dodge is automated based on the enemy's attacks, meaning you don't actually have any CONTROL over how your character dodges and also it completely breaks whenever you're being attacked by more than one enemy at a time (which happens a lot) I was just _flabbergasted_ that such an obviously-incompetent system managed to make it all the way through development. It's clearly a system that was designed with being "cinematic" in mind, rather than minor irrelevancies like being "playable".
@@ArcaneAzmadi it "got away" for the simple reason it was "cinematic". a word we had forgotten, but was all the rage back when the third dead space yeeted fan desire for the series out of the air lock.
ironically, DS3 is a far FAR more enjoyable game than calisto, by a wide margin.
Exactly I heard ftom shillup that you only need to hold one direction and as long as you are holding it you are practically invincible since you automatically dodge everything and nothing can hit you. Maybe the confusion is that people think you need to time it precisely vs just hold the direction?
I want Yahtzee's "Nom nom nom" at 2:10 to be a recurring soundbyte.
"Gun-Tor accepts your sacrifice! Om nom nom nom. You have been granted a boon of six more dead cunts!"
:3
Callisto Protocol really is a great example of how much more animations can affect than non-developers think. Bad animations can make a game bad, all on their own, because how you deal with animations determines A LOT about how the game feels to play.
As an avid gamer of three decades with no development experience at all, I would agree that animations have a great effect on the experience players get in the end product. Whether a game feels fluid and dynamic, or like trying to find a 3rd on a knackered old gearbox that should have been binned off fifteen years back, is often a direct consequence of how it is animated.
The thing is, the animations themselves are not actually the issue in this game: the animation work is actually fantastic, i.e. everything in the game moves in a natural and "weighty" manner that properly conveys what the subject is. The problem is the devs wanting to highlight said animations so much that they ensure the players can't skip them, or making them so long just to highlight how good the animations are. Hell, the devs are on record as being proud of the animations, and indeed they have extra death animations as a selling point of their DLC season pass.
As an example of how badly their focus on the animation compromised their gameplay and vice versa, when they released their most recent patch that increased the speed at which the player now heals, the animation now looks strange because it's been sped up unnaturally. The original long and slow animation was meant for gameplay in which the player needs to sit down and heal for a long time.
Too much focus on realistic animation is why I hate Red Dead 2.
Oh man, it's a Shame he didn't get to Signalis before his end of the year lists, an actual good survival Horror game from this year.
I've missed Yahtzee ripping onto a truly bad game. This was even better than the regular ZPs I think, the descriptions were funnier and yet it still feels like a real review. Plus the overall dialogue just seems snappier for some reason
It's kinda sad. Dead space 3 ended on a cliff hanger that never got resolved, and then they went "hey know what'd really win back the fans? End our new game on a cliffhanger that might get resolved at some point or another". I'm not even a dead space fan (mostly cause i never got around to playing it) and that still puts a bad taste in my mouth.
Try the Awakened DLC. That's not a cliffhanger, it's The End.
@@BTVagrant I think that might be what their talking about. I've heard a lot of people say Awakened ended on a cliffhanger, them apparently not realising that they were playing a horror game and good endings are optional.
@@chrisvisser-fee2631they were hoping that it would lead to a Dead Space 4 where you’d be fighting more of those Moon Zombies, but EA cancelled the game because it didn’t make EA’s ridiculous sales goal
@@chrisvisser-fee2631 You've got it all wrong. Spoiler warning ahead:
The moon you destroy in DS3 has brothers. When it reawaken or when we kill it, it sent a signal to it's brothers. Basically, Ellie is the one giving away the coordinates to Earth because she's the first one to leave in the aftermath. Also, a lot of the Unitologist left in the aftermath.
So by the time Clark and Carver warp back to Earth, it's already too late, the moons are feeding off of Earth. Oh and everywhere where there are markers. Humans built markers everywhere. It's the end for humanity in that universe.
@@addi543 I heard they wanted to make Ellie the new protagonist and that she'd be looking for Isaac or something.
Got to love that, when Dead Space was in teacher Yahtzee's class originally, he would always get onto it for not paying attention and fidgeting. Now that he's older and has even worse students, he's holding up Dead Space as an example they should strive to be.
Seems like video games rarely improve
@@CBRN-115 I'd argue they've gotten worse than ever before. If it keeps going this way, people will just stop playing games. A lot of other recreational hobbies like Lego and boardgames saw a huge rise in popularity during the pandemic, but not video games. They are at peak saturation of society right now, and everything comes to an end some day.
@@VitZ9 They've only gotten worse if you only focus on Triple A games and nothing else. INdie scene is full of wonder and invoative games.
You're also getting older.
@@crushycrawfishy1765 Getting older probably has something to do with it, i'm 32 and I recently moved to a new house and it's been about 3 months and I haven't hooked up any of my consoles, the only game I really play anymore is Legenda Of Runeterra.
My consoles are sitting behind me in the same box I packed them in when I moved.
@@crushycrawfishy1765you know just as well as me that the indie market is just as bad as AAA. The only difference is there's so much shite with si little advertising for each game that most people will only hear about the good ones