Fun fact: Elevated HCG - the hormone that is measured in a pregnancy test - may indicate a form of testicular cancer, so a man taking a pregnancy test may help discover a bigger issue.
The husband made me cry, he remembers the emotions so much that when he started crying about the fact that he almost lost his wife, I started crying with him
I had a fairly unexpected positive pregnancy test about 9 months ago and I didn't feel any type of connection to my baby for 5-7 months. People acted like I was a monster for it. I took prenatals, took care of my health but I felt like dirt because everyone was saying I should be overwhelmingly in love with the fetus. I think its so so important to normalize and talk about the fact that not having that deep connection with something you have never seen does not mean you are a bad person or that you will be a bad mother. Being that voice for women is probably going to be my newest passion.
I have wondered about this. (Quick disclaimer: I have never been pregnant.) People talk about when a mom gives birth and she doesn’t feel a connection to the baby, even though she was super excited all during the pregnancy. But what about the pregnancy itself? Are women sometimes really bothered that another person is living and growing in their body, even if they wanted the child to begin with? Do some find it to be gross or unsettling? I know these are “ugly” questions, and I’m sure no one wants to think about it. I’m just curious.
I'm sorry to hear people treated you like that. I hope everything turned out okay for you and your baby, and I also hope you received the support you needed and deserved
I'm 22 weeks along and I feel no connection. That being said, it doesn't mean I don't care, it's pretty cool to feel him move around and stuff, but I just don't love him yet. People find it weird that I don't talk to him and bond with him but that just feels weird and unnatural to me, why would I talk to my uterus?
I felt the same exact way!!! There is a misconception that all mothers must have this intense love for their unborn fetus and newborn. I felt like a sociopath because I didnt have that.. so much guilt. Then he was born and I didn't have an overwhelming feeling of love for him. I felt an instinct to protect and take care of him of course. But I liken motherhood to falling in love just like any other relationship. I cared for my son, and in weeks I was in the honeymoon phase of love, infatuation the cuteness. In months, I was in true love. It grew over time and now it is an immeasurable love that i cannot even put into words. My son is 4 now. Thank you for bringing up a very valid point that I wish our society normalized.
I was diagnosed with ppd at 10 days post partum and put on prozac. Maybe Canada has different criteria? I'm glad I got help when I did. The prozac worked, and I was fine.
I literally cried when she said her daughter is her best friend. My daughter was born 2 weeks ago and I’m struggling and not feeling connected to her. It’s good to hear someone who felt the same overcome that and makes me think I will too.
oh dear, first, congratulations. don't worry about it. seriously, there's such fake talk about how we all should feel from the first moment like the love is real and overflowing. truth is, a lot of the love is "made" through the giving, dedication, little moments. unless you feel so bad that you don't want to take care of her, or some other depression symptoms, just let the love develop between you naturally. big hug
I just want you to know that it can and will get better and that it's okay and normal to not immediately connect or bond. It happened with me too. I felt so bad about it a first but the more research I did and the more I thought about it made me understand that it makes complete sense that it would be hard at first. Having a baby is life changing and disrupting (with the good and the bad). They are a whole new person that we have to get to know and that takes time. My daughter is now almost 9 months and I love her so much. it wasn't instant and of course I'm still working on bonding more with her. You'll get through this. You got this mama.
My daughter is 6 weeks old. I was miserable at the beginning. I’m feeling marginally better now. Things will improve. It just takes time to find your new rhythm.
Congrats. I hope you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Don’t push it. Youll develop feelings for your little one eventually. Take care of yourself and try to eat right in the meantime. Lots of greens and fruits and water.
I had to tell my baby, "We're both alive and now we have time to build our relationship together." You'll form a relationship with your daughter that is all your own. Just treat it like meeting someone for the first time. You'll get to know her and she'll get to know you. (Also, newborn snuggles are pretty good.)
This comment is probably gonna get deleted but for everyone who doesn't know, 2 months ago Dr. Mike went on a trip to Florida and had a birthday with no COVID restrictions, he posted a sorry excuse of an apology video on another channel called Dr. Mike clips so that not many people would see it. Go see the video and decide for yourself whether or not you want to continue to support someone like this.
I'm at the end of a long career as an orthopedic surgeon and I've always had the utmost respect for my OBGYN colleagues. I couldn't do what you do, and I really appreciate the empathy you show in your videos. You made a subscriber out of me!
@@helenbirch9877 Is there something controversial about it? If you only focused on the second word, while ignoring the first word, ignoring the profile picture, and not knowing the personal significance of any it - I suppose you could allow your perspective to skew the "name" towards controversy/negativity. But of course if your perspective is set to look for negativity, regardless of subject, I'm certain you'll always find it...
I just wish every OBGYN was like her! I have endometriosis and it took going to see an OBGYN who didn't know that "period poops" were a thing and him telling me that I have IBS (which I do not) to go see a specialist and have surgery to find a diagnosis. It's frustrating knowing that there are OBGYNs out there that aren't helping patients with endo because I've only had a taste of the treatment of other patients with it. Really glad she shows so much empathy toward patients!
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and went through a similar experience to this poor lady. I thought I was having a miscarriage but it was actually a subchorionic hematoma causing bleeding and cramping. I bled and cramped for 2 weeks releasing small clots until I released a clot as big as my hand, absolutely terrifying. Little one is looking great on the follow up scans now. Tough little cookie.
I had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy. The second time around I had cramps and some bleeding and did a call in to the doctor and a nurse said it was another miscarriage. We were so upset! I was asked to come in on Monday for a D/C so I show up and the doctor can't find anything so sent to another doctor but in a hospital. We get there and they do a scan and what do they find, a baby! It was polyp that was removed after I gave birth to a very happy healthy baby boy.
Yes! Me too! I'm 12 weeks now with didi twins FTM. I went to the ER at 8 weeks because I thought it was a miscarriage but nope, just a large SCH. All I needed was a rhogram, progestin, and bedrest and now the babies are fine. But before I thought bleeding automatically meant miscarriage.
Usually these episodes are made when the babies are still toddlers so it was nice seeing the daughter grown up and talking about how her mom being alive is a miracle to her. Hopefully they all learned to trust doctors after what happened too
This one made me teary eyed!! I had a c-section that I felt so I was NOT in the mood for “here’s your baby!”. I didn’t see her until she was 4hrs old (tried to bleed to death on the table) and she had to stay in NICU due to me having an infection in my uterus (42hrs of active labor, not dilating and her being a 10.13lb 22.5” long baby 😂). I didn’t feel that all of a sudden “oh my baby!!!” I had bad depression afterwards (finally got help for it when she was 1). It took me MONTHS to finally feel that connection. I’m so glad to hear of another person going through that because I felt like the WORST person in the world. I had a scheduled c-sec with my son and it went perfectly and I saw him as soon as the cord was cut and there was that instant bond, tears and “that’s mine!”. I’m SO glad she was okay and so is their daughter ❤️
Your baby girl was a big baby! The biggest newborn baby I seen IRL wasn't even 7 lbs. Wishing you continue happiest and patience...cause you know, kids test that daily. 😂
I had a similar experience, much smaller baby but emergency c section and didn't get to see our hold him for several hours, when he was then sent to nicu for a week. It took months to bond with him and I also had to seek help for depression and ptsd. He's two and a half now and doing great. We've got a great bond too, even if he does drive me mad sometimes lol. You're not alone and I'm sure you're doing great x
I had a similar experience as well... 18 hours active labor that ended up being an emergency c-section due to fetal distress, was tired and don't remember the surgery, had a hypoglycemic 9lbs 4oz daughter that was in the NICU for a week, and I had a hard time bonding at first. She was a very desired baby, but I had such a letdown when she was born that I was depressed for weeks. I had a scheduled c-section with my son as well! No way was I repeating daughter's birth... But I did bond with her and would have given my life for her.
Thank you for your honesty. I'm glad you are all okay. Hopefully your honesty will help someone else not feel guilty and seek help for postpartum depression. 👍
I really hope one day you’d do a video about getting pregnant while having depression/ taking meds. For example, I’m bipolar, I take lamotrigine and citalopram, but also I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’ll be on meds probably all my life, but there are barely any publications talking about preparing/ carrying a pregnancy in that case. I know there are many women like me who don’t want to give up on their dream of being a mom just because they have that problem. Much love ♥️🖤
Same here! I also that my child will also have bipolar disorder. I wouldn’t wish this on another human being and I would feel awful knowing that I passed this on to my child. But there’s also the aspect that you’re talking about being on meds. I was told that being on lamotrigine was absolutely a no go for pregnancy and I am also on something newer called Trintellix that they’re also unsure of how it will affect a fetus. And I don’t know about you but being off of my meds is definitely not an option!
Depending on how severe your bipolar is I urge you to think having children through extra carefully. I have seen how broken children can become when their parents have some kind of neuropsychiatric disorder. Of course, it depends of which type of bipolar you have and the severity. But a child takes a lot of work and unless the parents have the ability to be there properly the child will be the one to suffer. If you are not allergic I would suggest a pet. You get something to care for and can give a loving home to a cat or a dog who needs it. Adopting an adult cat especially can be really great. You can still decide to have children alongside your pet.
I would love a video on this as someone on SSRIs! Even though my mental health issues are genetically linked my parents were both incredible and supportive raising me and I think saying that people with mental health issues shouldn’t have children is incredibly ableist.
? because he's getting emotional when talking about it? Bro. It's not PTSD when you cry thinking of something that shook you. it's PTSD if it changes your life even when you DON'T think of it and/ or think constantly of it. I still cry *sometimes* thinking of the worst times in my life, but that doesn't mean I am having PTSD since most of the time I am just like: "Wow. Good thing I didn't have to pull through it all by myself."
@@chaosgoettin His daugher is nearly an adult and when he tells the story, it's like it just happened to him. Nothing wrong with crying, but this wound still seems fresh and not healed. Besides, everyone can benefit from a little therapy.
Thank you! She is my best friend still to this day. She is finishing up her Masters program in psychology she’s an awesome awesome kid. Thank you, Reesa.
My mom flatlined during c sections both with my sister in 1985, and with me in 1991 when she was 30. She had preeclampsia when she carried me and while in the operating room she flatlined and actually remembers my grandma who had passed in July telling her to go back because she had two girls to take care of. (I was born in dec- & she didn’t know what I was going to be during her pregnancy until my grandma told her then.) I was given her middle name as my name and it’s always made me feel close to her. I had my mom for 27 years and I hate that she passed but I know that I could have lost her when I was born.
The PBS show Poldark had a really interesting birth story. The character Elizabeth died delivering a baby after taking some medicine to cause her to go into early labor. I wonder if you might be interested in reacting to that. Season 4, episode 8.
And to talk about what can happen when taking things like Castor Oil to induce labor. I know someone who wanted to have her baby before midnight on New Years Eve so they could get the tax write-off on the baby for the entire year. She took one dose of Castor Oil and then, when that didn’t work fast enough for her, she took a second dose. The hospital was very concerned about the amount of stress the baby was under and they couldn’t figure why. She never told them.
@@IJustWantToUseMyName I had a friend that did the same thing last year. Well, not in terms of taking castor oil to induce the labor but they did go to the hospital to induce the day before new years for the tax write off. I'm not sure if that works or not for taxes but I don't believe in putting yourself or the baby at risk for a few extra dollars
Many years ago when I did my doula training, one of the books I was reading advocated using castor oil to induce labor. To me, that was horrifying and I hope that no new, gung ho, naíve doulas used that to help induce labor in an impatient, “overdue” mom who has been told by her provider that it’s not quite time to induce labor. Please note: The use of a doula to help mom through labor or postpartum can be worth their weight in gold, as I had a wonderful career for 25 years. However, never, EVER should a doula contradict their client’s provider. It’s actually pretty scary what’s written in pregnancy books regarding labor induction. Check with your provider with ANYTHING that you consume medicinally during pregnancy. ❤️
This story emulates my mother. She was 15 weeks along in pregnancy and had a miscarriage. The doctor wouldn’t do a D&C on her because they both believed she had already passed the fetus and he was afraid her uterus would collapse. Turns out, she was originally pregnant with twins and lost one early on. A few months later she went into labor with me. To think the doctor saved my life by not doing the D&C is so crazy. Thank you Dr. Franklin.
I had to have an emergency d&c due a miscarriage in November because I was hemorrhaging. Randomly after recovering when I was being discharged the doctor said I have a beautiful uterus which is the weirdest compliment I've ever had...
Lol My surgeon said something similar during my second c-section. "You have beautiful fallopian tubes." During my first (unplanned) c-section, the surgeon said "huh, that's weird" and I was like "WHAT". I had a large fibroid that he "could have used as a handle". So, memorable comments for both.
I just had a smear test and was told (for the third time now) that I have a lovely-looking cervix. It is such a strange compliment, but hey, I'll take it! 😁
My OB accidentally printed a picture during an internal ultrasound (looking for cysts, not pregnant) and she gave it to me cause I thought it'd be cool to have a picture of my uterus. She wrote "happy little uterus and ovaries : )" on it. It made me chuckle
"When in doubt take a pregnancy test" lol I keep a box of cheap Amazon pregnancy tests under my bathroom sink for this reason. I have an IUD but I'd rather be safe in the small chance it fails than sorry that I missed it.
@@mandime4798 Ugh... That reminds me of that horrible post about buying pregnancy tests from the dollar store. The people who are willing to judge someone based off where they buy pregnancy tests needs to get a life. Lol That's the perk of buying from Amazon though. No judgment.
@@jehold2010ify oh I bought 3. Nobody said anything. They're always out so I like to buy a bunch. They're pretty effective too cause I tried one when I was 2 weeks pregnant and 3.5 weeks pregnant since the second line at 2 weeks was faint. I think there's a cheaper one at walmart and you could use the self checkout but I've never been able to find them. You'll never see those people again. Self care is more important than other's opinions who don't know you.
It's good to see other mummas didn't feel connected to their babe right away. It took me about 8 weeks to tell him I loved him and meant it, which sounds awful but I adore my little man now
You were busy getting to know the little one. Neither of you had seen each other. Sometimes you need time to learn about this wee baby. And that's all right.
I had a pretty rough delivery with my first and wasn't interested in him at all. I got really annoyed with the midwife keeping on wanting me to hold him. However, the best memory I have (and I wouldn't swap it for the entire world) was watching my husband hold our newborn with the sheer look of wow on his face while I was being stitched up. I was also fortunate that I'd read a book by Dr Sheila Kitzinger about a week before the birth and she said that not wanting to hold your baby was perfectly normal, given how much hard work you'd just been through. Not connecting with your baby at delivery is normal. I hope you're not feeling bad about that.
It's hard to just love something/someone you don't know who may have caused you to go through the most traumatic physical experience of your life yet. Processing those feelings of a child is not an easy task. Forgiving them for any pain and suffering they caused you (and if you had any lasting issues after their birth) can be a very difficult thing to do. The responsibility of a child plus the social pressure to be a good mom can drive anyone away from their child and resent the burden they have been handed wrapped in a delivery blanket.
Sweet greetings to you past self, Dr.Jones, who was amazed by 500K viewers. In this future, you're at 1.37M of us! Still going strong and very much to our benefit. Thank you so much for educating us, understanding us and being a very sweet person!
As an AFAB trans guy I’m glad that you’re trans positive ❤️ First gyno appointment I ever went to (was seriously late on it, I know) one of the first questions the nurse asked was what my pronouns were and I honestly nearly cried because I was worried I’d be misgendered the entire appointment. Trans positive gynos are so incredibly appreciated 😭❤️
they are talking to you... so why would you be misgendered? people use pronouns when talking about you, not to you. doctors and nurses dont usually call patients sir or maam regardless.
@@barbrothers2this just in, pronouns are the only form of gendered language! I've been called girlfriend, sweetie, ma'am, "Mrs", Miss, and more by doctors and nurses. They also usually use my legal name, not the one printed in big letters on my file, and ignore the teal "They/Them" patch that's about 4 inches wide on my shirt.
I felt those same emotions when my son was born 8 weeks early. Bonding through an incubator is so so hard.. but hes my whole crazy loud world 2.5 years later. It takes time but those emotions dont make you a bad parent at all
I had the same experience as you. My son was due June 15th but came early on April 11th. It is tough to bond. The hospital wouldn't even let me hold him. I viewed him thru a plate glass window.
@@sharynkoren8758 did you just recently have your baby? Cause I couldn't imagine in this climate. I was able to hold my son after a day and that in itself was torture
I really love the fact that she's talking about depression and having the trouble bonding and then they show that later on they have a great relationship. As someone who wants to have kids but suffers with clinical depression post partum depression is something that I am really afraid of with all the sensational horror stories in the news. Someone being open about dealing with that and showing that it's something that you can grow past really helps ease my anxiety about one day having kids.
Love how honest she was - even with my planned pregnancy I needed a little time to get to know my infant. I was immediately in love with her but I still needed time to get to know her!
Loved the ending with the grown daughter and mama. My mom was forced to have me at 17 against her will (religious family in an area that didn’t allow teens to have voluntary abortions), had severe eclampsia with me when I was born, and then I was born premature and developed pneumonia and nearly died in the hospital. Mom has never said it but I can only imagine that connecting with her first baby under those circumstances was difficult. Today she is my very best friend in the entire world.
When I was pregnant with my first I binge watched a series on TLC called "A Baby Story". I think it's a normal way to sort of self soothe the anxieties you're feeling about being a first time mom. Totally normal. Congratulations on your upcoming little one!
@@dianaking1106 I watched that show for years! I cried all the time when the baby was born 🐣 In fact when I read your post, I immediately heard the Baby Story theme song in my head
when my nana was pregnant with my mum, she had twins, but fell and lost one of the twins, but didnt realise she was even pregnant with twins, so she didnt know for a while that she was still pregnant until she went to the doctor for something else
Miscarrying a twin does happen, but without ultrasound confirmation that there were twins, I'm more inclined to believe that the bleeding was a subchorionic hematoma or a bleeding polyp or fibroid. Those things are way more common than twinning. There are millions of women who go to the doctor's for bleeding and even large clots during pregnancy, only to be told that their baby is perfectly fine. PSA, if you suspect you're having a miscarriage, always get it checked out by an OBGYN. Sometimes the baby is perfectly fine, sometimes baby is okay but you need to take more precautions moving forward to prevent an actual miscarriage, and sometimes it can be an incomplete miscarriage that can cause medical complications. Always, ALWAYS get it checked out.
I had severe post partum with my oldest, and did not connect when I first saw him. It was an abusive relationship, complicated and painful pregnancy, plus emergency c section and he was a nicu baby. I struggled so much to attach to and be comfortable with this baby.. now he's 10, and is special needs with severe ADHD and debilitating anxiety however i love him to the moon and back. He's so clever, and creative, he's genuine and caring.. he's my baby boy and I'm his go to person for everything. It's hard as society puts a lot of pressure on you to feel a bond and attachment right off the bat, there's little to no conversation on how common this is or how it really doesn't make you a terrible mum or that with supports and patience it will pass. I even had a nurse tell me that I'm being a bad mum for being scared to hold this baby with his little iv. I was 19 with no experience around babies (I'm still not a baby person really). I didn't have post partum with my younger son but circumstances were different and I was more mentally prepared. It is okay! It does happen and you are NOT alone
Hello MDJ I love your videos!!! I'm from Africa and I learn a lot from you, especially since relationships with doctors here are different than in the US. My cousin had stroke with her last baby and was in a coma for almost a month. One of the things they said was the cause was untreated (mistreated) pre-eclampsia. I hope that in the future you can talk a bit about this and how as pregnant women can recognize the symptoms and explain them to doctors so that they can get the needed treatment.
1) I just wanted to let you know how much respect I have for you, I actually started seeing your channel when I was interested in becoming a doctor but didn't know which kind of doctor I wanted to be. I knew I wanted to be something related to pregnancy/fertility (since my family has suffered many miscarriages and complications with fertility). Even though I'm having my doubts about studying to become a doctor, I still see your videos for educational reasons and I just adore how you find a way to educate people with humor and professionalism and how you take time off your schedule to clear doubts that people have. You truly deserve all your subscribers. Also, nothing to do with that. But I love what you did to your hair.
My baby is now 7 months old. I had postpartum depression for maybe 4 months of her life until I finally was able to love on her. I now couldnt imagine my life without her and i always get sad that for the first 4 months of her life i wish she was never born and i missed out on 4 months of loving her. But i wake up everyday to her gorgeous toothless smile and i fall in love everyday and i thank god every day for her ♡
I remember in school a teacher bringing in a speaker about family science and they had a pamphlet about bonding. Some people got annoyed about it talking of being normal to not feel instant love for the baby like in the movies and it being okay to need an adjustment period to bond. The teacher talking about her early days bring home her own kids. Some girls were getting annoyed about it saying "No, a momma instantly loves her baby!" I'm sitting there keeping my mouth shut and sarcastically thinking 'How dare someone point out emotions are not so cut and dry!'
Wow. That's the EXACT reason your teacher brought the pamphlet out. There is an ignorance around mother/baby bonding and it's horrible because the mother can't talk to anyone about it without being accused of being a bad mother.
I was just hospitalized for gestational hypertension and my husband told his uncle I was being monitored for gestational diabetes. We had a talk about the difference between gestational hypertension, preclampsia, eclampsia, and hellp syndrome. Flash forward to two hours later and we’re watching this and I’m just staring at him...
This actually happened with my mom when she had my Brother. He had a twin that my mom miscarried like the woman in the video, then she went to the doctor and found that she was still pregnant with my brother.
When I had my 12 week dating scan, my daughter wriggled so much the sonographer struggled to keep her in focus. While trying to find her, the sonographer noticed what appeared to be an empty sack. She took measurements and suggested that it was a fertilised egg that hadn't attached to the uterus properly so had died. It didn't make any difference to the care I needed. I did, however, have pre-eclampsia from around 32 weeks. I was admitted onto the anti natal ward at 34 weeks. where I was constantly monitored over the next week before they decided to induce. Around three hours after having the gel on my cervix, I was back on the monitor. Baby's heart rate was dropping with contractions - baby was in distress. As I hadn't dilated much, she was delivered by emergency c-section. The doctor also sent the placenta away for testing. It had started to calcify, which they usually saw in pregnancies over 40 weeks. I was 35 weeks.
Rhianalanthula I was delivered by emergency c section They told my mum that I would be taken to special care as they thought that I was premature and small However my mum was convinced that I was older Turned out she was correct I was a healthy weight and estimated 44 weeks gestation It was 1976 and it was my dad who noticed that the monitor showed that I was in distress. He had gone to the medical library to learn how to interpret the monitor as a scientist he likes to understand things
I watched this episode back in the day, at the time I was like: what the hell woman? She had no periods, gained weight and had swollen ankles. How in the world did she not think she was pregnant?
Sometimes after a miscarriage people won't get a period for a certain amount of time, plus she said she was eating a lot more which would explain the weight gain, and sometimes fast weight gain is accompanied by swelling.
@@shelbymasters she was also feeling nauseous... So I'd have to agree with OP. at the very least, she should have taken a pregnancy test, because people can get pregnant again after miscarriages. She should have gone to the doctor. Like for God's sake, you think she would have thought "hmmm...maybe something's wrong..." but she did...and what did she do? She went like "oh I'll go to the doctor!" And never went through with it. She's a grown woman, she needs to be able to get past her fears and take care of her own health. Easier said than done, I know, I get it, as a person with severe anxiety issues and OCD. And it kinda upsets me that her husband didn't push her to go to the doctor, when she was very obviously having health issues...it just seems like he's kinda enabling her self destructive behavior. I don't understand why people in this comments section, act as if everything this couple did was totally acceptable. This situation could have been easily avoided, and she put herself and her unborn child's life at risk, because she refused to see a doctor. I'm glad she survived....but god...I hope she learned her lesson. Her behavior was reckless. Also swelling in the legs and feet is also a symptom of kidney failure.... if you are swelling like this...go. to. a. doctor.
I had my son twenty years ago and PPD followed. I had a hard time transitioning into motherhood because of the depression and then feelings of inadequacy followed. My doc put me on an antidepressant specifically for PPD, and after about a month, I started to feel like my old self again. It was a difficult time. Flash forward twenty years and my son is a wonderful young man.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, I was 19 and not ready for another kid. I decided to give her up for adoption. So, I went through an agency and picked out a family for her. So the months went on and I got to know that family really well. Anyway, on my 20th birthday, which was 8 days before my due date, the family called me to tell me that they had changed their minds about adopting my daughter. Well, that didn't leave me with a whole lot of time to meet and get comfortable with a new family, so I decided to keep her myself. When she was born, I felt that same way towards her. Like I thought she was really cute, but I had no desire to hold her or want to be near her. The bond wasn't there. I went my entire pregnancy convincing myself that I was having a baby for another couple so that I had the strength to give her up when the time came so that motherly instinct took a while to kick in. I didn't feel like I truly loved her for a while, probably like a week or 2. I felt horrible for feeling that way and because I was so ashamed, I didn't tell anyone how I felt. It's nice to know that in certain situations, those feelings are normal. Anyway, that was 13 years ago and now she is my favorite human ever. ❤️ That family gave me the best gift by not wanting her. I couldn't imagine not having had my baby.
I love that mom was like that. I didn't connect with my daughter immediately either. They asked if I wanted to hold her and I said no take her for her tests. My first words about her is "she looks like an alien"
I had read a book before delivery by a lady who was very honest about her birth and feelings around the baby she had. Basically started out writing how the first thing she said when meeting her son was "he is all gross in his face" (translation from Danish). Just reading that another mother had not instantly bonded with her baby and been all rosy clouds and happy bunnies was such a relief. Especially as I took some time getting that bond too. It is really helpful when people are honest about such things. I takes the pressure off and helps you not feel like a freak for not having that instant bond and rosy world view.
@@secretlyamazing I told my daughter a long time ago what a said and we just laugh about it now. People that feel a pressure to be over the top about their kids and people with out children tend to recoil about honest statements in my opinion. And I mean over the top like they are told they will bond immediately and think they are the only ones and not really honest with themselves about it. When people get offended for my child I tell them she doesn't care she thinks it's funny.
I think something she kind of glossed over was that she woke from her comma a few days after birth. That's when baby blues start. Mine started day 2, so she was already going through baby blues before even knowing she had a baby. And then the complete disconnect. She passed out and then woke up a few days later to everybody telling her "this baby is your baby" and she's just expected to believe that and be in love? Lol. Hard to process, especially through peak baby blues
I would love a video/discussion on the “husband stitch” or where after vaginal birth the doctor puts an extra stitch in to try and tighten the vagina, particularly to please the husband. I’ve read many stories of it being done wrong and needing to be removed because it causes pain during sex. I’m not sure how common it is overall, but it’s definitely disheartening and rather sad but not talked about
Yes! And other decisions that are taken away from women. I know someone who's OB asked their husband if he'd like his wife's tubes tied just before she went in for a c-section. Didn't bother to ask the wife!
My mom got stitched after delivering her first kid, but an intern did it, so he did it wrong and stitched too much. Then the doctor had to unstitch it, but first made sure to show all his students how a bad stitch looks like/feels like. So after the team of ten medical students had touched the bad stitching they unstitched her.
A lady at my church miscarried over Easter weekend a number of years ago. She described bleeding and pain so bad she felt she was dying. Previous scans had shown she carrying one baby. Later that year, in early September, she gave birth. Her and her husband referred to their child as a miracle. They now have two more, fortunately without traumatic pregnancies.
I wish this show would talk about adoption. Many women in this situation are not prepared to be a mother on such short notice or don’t want to be. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, it means they are choosing the best life for them and the baby. Adoption is great and should be normalized.
I mean... giving a child up for adoption isn’t great, it might be the right choice for the mother, but the child usually suffers for it. A baby will be easier to find a home for, but to say adoption is great is just simply wrong. (To clarify, I’m talking about America)
I don't think adoption should be considered great and normalized. It's stressing and will lead to long term consequences for both parents and children. It has to stay a last resort, where every other option being weighted out and decided against.
As an adoptee, I feel like I can agree with both sides of this argument. In the adopted community nowadays, there's a big push to normalize the feelings of trauma that come with being adopted, and I think that's really helpful because it makes you feel validated in your struggles. That said, I think adoption can be great for the adoptive parents, who get to form a family, it can be beneficial for the birth parents, even though it can obviously be an incredibly heartbreaking experience, because it gives them the option not to take on child rearing when they're not ready. And it can be both good and bad for the child and it really depends on individual cases. I do think talking about adoption on a show like this could have the benefit of reducing stigma associated with giving one's child up for adoption, a stigma that no birth mother should ever have to deal with, and as long as they handled it properly I think that would be nice to see
The issue with adoption is that it isn't perfect...and putting your kid into foster care can lead to serious issues. I've heard some horrific stories from people who were given up for adoption. So many kids never get adopted. Some are even abused by foster parents. Abortion also needs to be talked about more and not treated like some kind of murderous evil act. There is a chance that adoptions can go very well, but you can't just expect that everytime, if you want things to go well, you kinda have to work at it, or just let luck take the wheel.
I love how honest the mom was. My mother experienced post partum depression with both me and my sister. My mom is still one of my best friends and I love her so much. She really struggled with her mental health while we were growing up. Her openness about it is what allowed us to be as close as we are
Yes please do a video on rh negative pregnancies! Also its just crazy to me how you can lose a baby and the other stay in the womb and be perfectly fine!!
This happened to me too. I was the twin who survived. Idk how it happens, but with little medical knowledge my family kind of blames it on me. I do too. They love me but this was unusual so they don't know anything. I would like further discussion on it actually. Did i kill my twin or did i not?
@@shramanadasdutta3006 what noo, don't feel bad about it! You did nothing bad and your family blaming you for the death of your twin is absolutely insane, it sounds like your family is still hurting about it and needs therapy, that includes you.
@@elisabethtuuling-askforema1940 het thanks for reaching out. But blames me as in points fingers towards me or resents me. But we don't know what happened, except it didn't get enough nutrition as there were 2 babies competing for it. Thats the doctors' assumption. They love me and are really glad that at leat one baby survived. So the obvious connection were made. But they fucking love me and have never worded these speculations.Its just that pregnancy was very bad for Maa and she didn't even try again for a kid in fear. I am an only child and hate being so, knowing that there was a possibility of that not being the case and that too a twin! It feels like a missed opportunity and i have some survivors' guilt. 😇😇
With both of my pregnancies, I didn’t feel that instant love, or a connection. It took a month for me to feel love for my oldest. I took care of her, fed her, etc, but never that heart swelling with love feeling. Second baby, took a couple of days, but I knew what I was doing. I made sure to tell the new moms in my second due date group that it’s okay to not feel that maternal love right away. Just be sure to talk to your provider about anxiety/depression.
Great segment!!! I am on so many news channels and news talking point channels that my blood pressure has gotten quite high. I had to go this morning to the doctor after waking up at 5:30 with blood pressure 168/101. Anything over 90 and my doctor blows a gasket so I knew it was time to call. Furthermore my head pain in my head was not worse than it ever ever been but pretty darn close. Together with the pressure really had me concerned! So, I’m on another blood pressure medicine because nothing is going to come down till after November I pray to God! And I undoing all my news channels as far as getting notifications. Which means now I might actually see yours when it comes up mama Dr. J!!! 🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
I agree that it is “good” to hear she did not feel a connection to the baby immediately. This happens more often than most people realize when the pregnancy is planned, let alone in a situation like this!!! Of course it is sad that it happens, but like I said, more common than most people know / think. So I am glad they shared this. Because I think many people would not share this, being afraid to be seen as a bad parent. And I want to emphasize that it can happen to fathers too! Not only mothers.. even fathers can have postpartum depression. Which is something a lot of people do not know.
Can’t get pregnant anymore. Every weird symptom my reaction is “Mama Doctor J says, I need to take a pregnancy test!” Basically only ever watch MDJ and Brad Mondo videos anymore! Lol
I love how it seems like whenever you either want a good outcome for those people, or see that there has been a good outcome that you put your hand on your heart... shows such extreme joy for those people and the job that you do 💖
My Bizarre Miscarriage Story DR. JONES! YOU SHOULD READ THIS! I wanted to share my miscarriage horror story. I was raped at 15 by a boy walking me home from school. 8 weeks later I was bleeding severely. I went to the school nurse and she called my mother to tell her to take me to the E.R. when I went I was bleeding so much that a urine pregnancy test was impossible, and they did no blood test or ultrasound. The hospital gave me a shot of morphine and sent me home. They said that I PROBABLY wasn't pregnant. 24 hours later I lost so much blood that I had a seizure. My mother wouldn't let me go back to the hospital. My hands, feet, and lips were blue; and the rest of me was as pale as a sheet. A few days later I took a pregnancy test and it still read positive. I even passed a skin colored clot that was the size of the tip of my thumb. I bleed for two weeks and to this day, no one in my family believes that it was a miscarriage. Dr. Jones, how do you explain that? What are your thoughts? Did I have a miscarriage?
The size of the clot you passed does seem to align with how large a fetus would be at this stage of pregnancy, the signs and symptoms line up with it, so it does sound like it yep. Obviously not a medical professional so don't take it for any more than interpretation of events :P
That sure sounds like a miscarriage to me too. I had a miscarriage at a similar stage in my pregnancy, and it was pretty much what you've described. A LOT of blood (like getting 10 periods all at once), very painful cramping, and a little fetus about the size of a broad bean. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with no support. I hope you're in a better place now and there are people around you who you can lean on.
I've never been the type to suggest video ideas but have you considered covering RawBeautyKristi's pregnancy announcement or Q&A. Her story is so heart warming and interesting to me
I had a miscarriage just over 12 weeks and I went straight to the Doctor. He examined me, did several tests, told me I had lost the baby which I already knew. A week later I was back because I was still throwing up 24/7 and the Doctor told me there is another one and he didn’t know how he missed it. I had Pre Eclampsia with very high blood pressure, Gestational Diabetes and my eyesight was weird. I was full of fluid and I was in and out of hospital for 2 weeks at a time. I knew exactly when I conceived because we only had sex once. My baby was due on my Dad’s Birthday which was March 10th and I went into Labor on Boxing Day in December. I had asked my Mother to come and get me because they would only let me leave the hospital if I was in bed and someone was taking care of me. My husband worked so she drove 4 hours to take me home. I was booked into my local hospital because I did that before they moved my husbands job and I grew up in a holiday resort at the beach. It was Summer and half of our town closed for the cooler months of the year in the Winter. When I was taken to the Hospital the Nurse in charge was very angry because so many people on holiday had their babies early and there were no beds. She put me in a side 2 bed room and never told my Doctor I was there. Eighteen women in labor went through the bed next to me and had their babies. I was raised to not question and respect people in authority. My pains were two minutes apart when I got there. She kept telling me I wasn’t having a baby so if I said I was in pain she hit me and I believed that was what happened and she had that right. Four nights later she gave me two sleeping pills four times, I didn’t know that was what they were. I didn’t go to sleep but I felt very drunk so I got up and packed my bag. I was going home to ask my Doctor what the pain was if I wasn’t having a baby. The Nurse caught me at the top of the stairs, she said she tried to stop me but she pushed me and I was lucky the stairs turned halfway down so I hit the wall and stopped. I was also lucky a Nurse’s Aid witnessed it.
Good to see people talk about the fact that you can feel different then joy after a birth. My mother had the same experience with my twin brother I was born "normal" but because my twin brother wouldn't want to come out the had to do emergency c-section. The first time she held him it really felt strange. Because her brain had difficulties with making the connection you where in my belly first and know you are here
Thank you for reacting to this episode twin loss is real. 🦋 I was told you're not pregnant, to you had a miscarriage so you're not pregnant at all anymore, to you're pregnant still but that was her twin you lost, all in 5 days! And PS I was taking test after test... For those 5 days I knew better.
Your hair looks so good! Is it possible to adjust the volume levels of the video you’re reacting to? Have to turn it up super loud to hear what that video is saying but then your segments are twice the volume. Love you and your videos!
Love your videos, so informative and you seem like the nicest person! You have inspired me to become a doctor, and I will apply to med school next year. Thank you so much! Hugs from Norway! 💜
I'm literally 2 seconds in, but why does your voice make me so happy lol? I started watching your videos and a bunch of other medical UA-camrs about a year ago because I was seriously looking into going into the medical field. You all have helped me re-confirm that that's not really my thing personally, but I still watch all of your channels because you've just become such a constant in my life, and your videos are my favorite out of the bunch for some reason ❤️ Thanks for doing what you do, and always doing such a great job with it!
At the beginning when you mentioned that it was Pride Month, I thought you said it was Cry Month and I was totally on board. Just nodded like yup, been crying, how did you know?
Not feeling a connection toward your baby is completely normal. If any mother is feeling regret, DON’T. From a young age I wanted to be a mother, and when I finally became one, it was hard to connect. It may have been because I was a teenager, but I may not ever know the reason. My twins were born and I was basically a robot. Breastfeed, change diaper, eat, sleep. That was my day. It wasn’t until they were about a month old that I kinda felt this spark. I was having a bad panic attack due to anxiety and nothing really was calming me down. But then I looked into my sons’ eyes. I held onto their little hands, the hugged them both. That calmed me down. Having two little boys who loved me no matter what? That was an amazing feeling. And I felt that love, that connection. Don’t worry parents, that connection comes. It just takes a little time and patience.
Have you heard of carissa Nunez? She's another UA-camr who recently went through a miscarriage and was previously documenting the whole pregnancy. She had a negative experience at the obgyn and I think maybe reacting to her miscarriage video you could shed light on the coldness that is associated with failed pregnancies and the doctors!
I think that's normal nowadays. There's a lot of doctors that really don't care. They see a lot of women. They don't remember everyone. It's just in and out. The strangest ob/gyn doctor I've ever encountered was at the hospital. He didn't check me, didn't touch me, and was standing in the corner. Thankfully the next shift came and he found out all my problems. If maybe he checked me they could have prepared me for my emergency c section sooner. The hospital couldn't reach my doctor since I went to the hospital at 1am.
I get that. But I almost died when I miscarried. I bled out. This could be life threatening. Doctors need to make that clear. Because I have medical knowledge I could identify the symptoms of shock and I could get to help on time. Had I left it and got back into bed I would’ve been dead come morning. I can never understand a doctor that tells women to go home to miscarry. It’s stupid
I am 24 weeks pregnant and I have been watching your videos since I started trying 2.5 months prior to that. I have learned so much from your videos!!! Thank you MDJ!! :-) :-)
Thank you for that "when in doubt, take a pregnancy test" my doctor made me feel like a idiot for taking one when i was on birth control but i knew i felt sick and my uterus felt like a baseball. Turns out birth control was failing so I was right.
When I was little my mom was pregnant with my little brother and his twin. It was around christmas time and my mom lost the twin and we never knew that my brother had a twin so there was still a heartbeat. My mom is a healthcare worker and she knew that she had a miscarriage and she was so surprised when they said "oh you just lost the twin." I never knew what the gender was but my brother is one of my biggest miricals and he is happy and healthy at this moment and he is my life. I love what yoy are doing Mama Doctor Jones and I want you to continue❤
Sooooo glad I clicked on this for another reason than the obvious (you are awesome!).. I never knew there was somewhere you could donate to the black trans community. Thanks for the info! 💗
With my first they put him on my chest and he peed all over me. My first words were he pissed on me and then asking hubby to take him. Took me weeks before I bonded with him, I felt like I was babysitting him more than he was mine
Alright. After watching for 2 weeks I had to finally subscribe. It's so nice to find a channel so supportive of women's health. Keep doing the good deeds doc.
This was one of the best ones yet!! The honest emotions are what I am here for!! Love these episodes, they need to have more shows like this for you to review lol. I could listen to you talk all day ♥️
"When in doubt take a pregnancy test" litterally my go to life saying😅 single mom of 2 and everyone always asks me "what were your pregnancy symptoms" and my answer is always "take a pregnancy test you can get them for a dollar" 😂
“Take a pregnancy test!” Is like dr.mikes chest compressions and I love it.
It really is😂
That's exactly it!
It is!!!! Hahaha!
So true!
Yesss
It’s interesting that they missed the breathing tube detail in the re-enactment, but they nailed the 80s glasses.
😆😆
And the transparent phone! 🤣
@@amandahalcott5121 I misread this as "transphobic phone" and really didn't know where to go from there, lol. Dyslexia ftw!
The 80s were the Dark Ages for medicine.
Priorities!
I love her comment, “When in doubt, take a pregnancy test.” I just pictured a guy having knee pain and saying, “Well I gotta take a pregnancy test.” 😂
😂😂😂😂
It would make a great shirt xD
Greaaaaaat. Now that's in my head. 😂😂😂😂😂
I mean, if it were positive he could have a serious problem
Fun fact: Elevated HCG - the hormone that is measured in a pregnancy test - may indicate a form of testicular cancer, so a man taking a pregnancy test may help discover a bigger issue.
The husband made me cry, he remembers the emotions so much that when he started crying about the fact that he almost lost his wife, I started crying with him
Same!! I'm surprised there are fewer comments on this! It was so touching 😢🥰
Clau Panquecito ikr I cried 😭❤️
@@willow304 Me too :(
I had a fairly unexpected positive pregnancy test about 9 months ago and I didn't feel any type of connection to my baby for 5-7 months. People acted like I was a monster for it. I took prenatals, took care of my health but I felt like dirt because everyone was saying I should be overwhelmingly in love with the fetus. I think its so so important to normalize and talk about the fact that not having that deep connection with something you have never seen does not mean you are a bad person or that you will be a bad mother. Being that voice for women is probably going to be my newest passion.
I know it happens to not connect with your our baby but people do not tell you about it.
I have wondered about this. (Quick disclaimer: I have never been pregnant.) People talk about when a mom gives birth and she doesn’t feel a connection to the baby, even though she was super excited all during the pregnancy. But what about the pregnancy itself? Are women sometimes really bothered that another person is living and growing in their body, even if they wanted the child to begin with? Do some find it to be gross or unsettling? I know these are “ugly” questions, and I’m sure no one wants to think about it. I’m just curious.
I'm sorry to hear people treated you like that. I hope everything turned out okay for you and your baby, and I also hope you received the support you needed and deserved
I'm 22 weeks along and I feel no connection. That being said, it doesn't mean I don't care, it's pretty cool to feel him move around and stuff, but I just don't love him yet. People find it weird that I don't talk to him and bond with him but that just feels weird and unnatural to me, why would I talk to my uterus?
I felt the same exact way!!!
There is a misconception that all mothers must have this intense love for their unborn fetus and newborn. I felt like a sociopath because I didnt have that.. so much guilt. Then he was born and I didn't have an overwhelming feeling of love for him. I felt an instinct to protect and take care of him of course.
But I liken motherhood to falling in love just like any other relationship.
I cared for my son, and in weeks I was in the honeymoon phase of love, infatuation the cuteness. In months, I was in true love. It grew over time and now it is an immeasurable love that i cannot even put into words. My son is 4 now.
Thank you for bringing up a very valid point that I wish our society normalized.
"Can you imagine waking up from a coma having no idea you were pregnant and then your husband does a handstand?" 😂😂😂😂 epic
Artsy Sabs I’d be like “Doctor I think he should be your patient ! Not me!” 😂
Right???? I'm dying lmaoooooo
Omg this was my favourite part!
I love her reacting to this more than seeing him do it which was very amusing too
I was diagnosed with ppd at 10 days post partum and put on prozac. Maybe Canada has different criteria? I'm glad I got help when I did. The prozac worked, and I was fine.
I literally cried when she said her daughter is her best friend. My daughter was born 2 weeks ago and I’m struggling and not feeling connected to her. It’s good to hear someone who felt the same overcome that and makes me think I will too.
oh dear, first, congratulations. don't worry about it. seriously, there's such fake talk about how we all should feel from the first moment like the love is real and overflowing.
truth is, a lot of the love is "made" through the giving, dedication, little moments.
unless you feel so bad that you don't want to take care of her, or some other depression symptoms, just let the love develop between you naturally.
big hug
I just want you to know that it can and will get better and that it's okay and normal to not immediately connect or bond. It happened with me too. I felt so bad about it a first but the more research I did and the more I thought about it made me understand that it makes complete sense that it would be hard at first. Having a baby is life changing and disrupting (with the good and the bad). They are a whole new person that we have to get to know and that takes time. My daughter is now almost 9 months and I love her so much. it wasn't instant and of course I'm still working on bonding more with her. You'll get through this. You got this mama.
My daughter is 6 weeks old. I was miserable at the beginning. I’m feeling marginally better now. Things will improve. It just takes time to find your new rhythm.
Congrats. I hope you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Don’t push it. Youll develop feelings for your little one eventually. Take care of yourself and try to eat right in the meantime. Lots of greens and fruits and water.
I had to tell my baby, "We're both alive and now we have time to build our relationship together." You'll form a relationship with your daughter that is all your own. Just treat it like meeting someone for the first time. You'll get to know her and she'll get to know you. (Also, newborn snuggles are pretty good.)
The genuine horror and concern on Mama Dr. Jones face during all of this just shows how much she really cares.
hahahaha! ikr?! edit: sorry i replied to the wrong comment!
@@jocii38 lol. Happens to the best of us 😂.
Pregnancy test! Pregnancy test! Pregnancy test!
Just like: Chest compressions! Chest compressions! Chest compressions!
Because everyone who subscribes to Mama Doctor Jones also subscribes to Dr. Mike.
I love your comment! 🤣🤣
The ven diagram of people who watch Dr Mike and Mama Doctor Jones is a circle
@@laurahubbard6906 so true! 😂
This comment is probably gonna get deleted but for everyone who doesn't know, 2 months ago Dr. Mike went on a trip to Florida and had a birthday with no COVID restrictions, he posted a sorry excuse of an apology video on another channel called Dr. Mike clips so that not many people would see it. Go see the video and decide for yourself whether or not you want to continue to support someone like this.
I'm at the end of a long career as an orthopedic surgeon and I've always had the utmost respect for my OBGYN colleagues. I couldn't do what you do, and I really appreciate the empathy you show in your videos. You made a subscriber out of me!
An ORS calling themselves "Civil Villain"? Hmmmmm...
@@helenbirch9877
Is there something controversial about it?
If you only focused on the second word, while ignoring the first word, ignoring the profile picture, and not knowing the personal significance of any it - I suppose you could allow your perspective to skew the "name" towards controversy/negativity.
But of course if your perspective is set to look for negativity, regardless of subject, I'm certain you'll always find it...
I just wish every OBGYN was like her! I have endometriosis and it took going to see an OBGYN who didn't know that "period poops" were a thing and him telling me that I have IBS (which I do not) to go see a specialist and have surgery to find a diagnosis. It's frustrating knowing that there are OBGYNs out there that aren't helping patients with endo because I've only had a taste of the treatment of other patients with it. Really glad she shows so much empathy toward patients!
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and went through a similar experience to this poor lady. I thought I was having a miscarriage but it was actually a subchorionic hematoma causing bleeding and cramping. I bled and cramped for 2 weeks releasing small clots until I released a clot as big as my hand, absolutely terrifying. Little one is looking great on the follow up scans now. Tough little cookie.
I'm glad you and baby are better! Sending good vibes!
My sister and i both had that happen. So scary. Ironically when I had miscarriages, I only had spotting and needed DnC each time
I am happy you and the baby are okay 🙏
I had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy. The second time around I had cramps and some bleeding and did a call in to the doctor and a nurse said it was another miscarriage. We were so upset! I was asked to come in on Monday for a D/C so I show up and the doctor can't find anything so sent to another doctor but in a hospital. We get there and they do a scan and what do they find, a baby! It was polyp that was removed after I gave birth to a very happy healthy baby boy.
Yes! Me too! I'm 12 weeks now with didi twins FTM. I went to the ER at 8 weeks because I thought it was a miscarriage but nope, just a large SCH. All I needed was a rhogram, progestin, and bedrest and now the babies are fine. But before I thought bleeding automatically meant miscarriage.
My cousin had this exact same thing including preeclampsia. She miscarried a twin without realizing she was still pregnant.
Love your user ID!
Usually these episodes are made when the babies are still toddlers so it was nice seeing the daughter grown up and talking about how her mom being alive is a miracle to her.
Hopefully they all learned to trust doctors after what happened too
This one made me teary eyed!! I had a c-section that I felt so I was NOT in the mood for “here’s your baby!”.
I didn’t see her until she was 4hrs old (tried to bleed to death on the table) and she had to stay in NICU due to me having an infection in my uterus (42hrs of active labor, not dilating and her being a 10.13lb 22.5” long baby 😂). I didn’t feel that all of a sudden “oh my baby!!!” I had bad depression afterwards (finally got help for it when she was 1). It took me MONTHS to finally feel that connection. I’m so glad to hear of another person going through that because I felt like the WORST person in the world. I had a scheduled c-sec with my son and it went perfectly and I saw him as soon as the cord was cut and there was that instant bond, tears and “that’s mine!”.
I’m SO glad she was okay and so is their daughter ❤️
Your baby girl was a big baby!
The biggest newborn baby I seen IRL wasn't even 7 lbs.
Wishing you continue happiest and patience...cause you know, kids test that daily. 😂
Gosh that's a big baby, I can't imagine! I'm happy you feel that bond to her now
I had a similar experience, much smaller baby but emergency c section and didn't get to see our hold him for several hours, when he was then sent to nicu for a week. It took months to bond with him and I also had to seek help for depression and ptsd. He's two and a half now and doing great. We've got a great bond too, even if he does drive me mad sometimes lol. You're not alone and I'm sure you're doing great x
I had a similar experience as well... 18 hours active labor that ended up being an emergency c-section due to fetal distress, was tired and don't remember the surgery, had a hypoglycemic 9lbs 4oz daughter that was in the NICU for a week, and I had a hard time bonding at first. She was a very desired baby, but I had such a letdown when she was born that I was depressed for weeks. I had a scheduled c-section with my son as well! No way was I repeating daughter's birth... But I did bond with her and would have given my life for her.
Thank you for your honesty. I'm glad you are all okay. Hopefully your honesty will help someone else not feel guilty and seek help for postpartum depression. 👍
I really hope one day you’d do a video about getting pregnant while having depression/ taking meds. For example, I’m bipolar, I take lamotrigine and citalopram, but also I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’ll be on meds probably all my life, but there are barely any publications talking about preparing/ carrying a pregnancy in that case. I know there are many women like me who don’t want to give up on their dream of being a mom just because they have that problem. Much love ♥️🖤
Same here! I also that my child will also have bipolar disorder. I wouldn’t wish this on another human being and I would feel awful knowing that I passed this on to my child. But there’s also the aspect that you’re talking about being on meds. I was told that being on lamotrigine was absolutely a no go for pregnancy and I am also on something newer called Trintellix that they’re also unsure of how it will affect a fetus. And I don’t know about you but being off of my meds is definitely not an option!
Depending on how severe your bipolar is I urge you to think having children through extra carefully. I have seen how broken children can become when their parents have some kind of neuropsychiatric disorder. Of course, it depends of which type of bipolar you have and the severity. But a child takes a lot of work and unless the parents have the ability to be there properly the child will be the one to suffer.
If you are not allergic I would suggest a pet. You get something to care for and can give a loving home to a cat or a dog who needs it. Adopting an adult cat especially can be really great. You can still decide to have children alongside your pet.
My mom has bipolar.
Lamotrigine has pretty much saved my life ❤️ I hope it helps as much for you as it did me.
I would love a video on this as someone on SSRIs! Even though my mental health issues are genetically linked my parents were both incredible and supportive raising me and I think saying that people with mental health issues shouldn’t have children is incredibly ableist.
This poor dad needs some PTSD therapy. He is obviously still dealing with trauma from this entire experience.
i was thinking the same thing!
Maybe even both of them lol...I can imagine why she wouldn't want another baby.
? because he's getting emotional when talking about it? Bro. It's not PTSD when you cry thinking of something that shook you. it's PTSD if it changes your life even when you DON'T think of it and/ or think constantly of it. I still cry *sometimes* thinking of the worst times in my life, but that doesn't mean I am having PTSD since most of the time I am just like: "Wow. Good thing I didn't have to pull through it all by myself."
@Austin Lee Therapists can specialize. You want one who is well-practiced at getting someone through PTSD.
@@chaosgoettin His daugher is nearly an adult and when he tells the story, it's like it just happened to him. Nothing wrong with crying, but this wound still seems fresh and not healed.
Besides, everyone can benefit from a little therapy.
I cried when mom embraced her adult daughter and said she is her best friend. 😭 so sweet!
Thank you! She is my best friend still to this day. She is finishing up her Masters program in psychology she’s an awesome awesome kid. Thank you, Reesa.
@@reesacarr1416 That's so great! Congratulations to Jessica!
My mom flatlined during c sections both with my sister in 1985, and with me in 1991 when she was 30. She had preeclampsia when she carried me and while in the operating room she flatlined and actually remembers my grandma who had passed in July telling her to go back because she had two girls to take care of. (I was born in dec- & she didn’t know what I was going to be during her pregnancy until my grandma told her then.) I was given her middle name as my name and it’s always made me feel close to her. I had my mom for 27 years and I hate that she passed but I know that I could have lost her when I was born.
The PBS show Poldark had a really interesting birth story. The character Elizabeth died delivering a baby after taking some medicine to cause her to go into early labor. I wonder if you might be interested in reacting to that. Season 4, episode 8.
Omg this is such a brilliant idea 👆🏻 Love that series.
I love that show. It'd be great to see MDJ talking about it
And to talk about what can happen when taking things like Castor Oil to induce labor. I know someone who wanted to have her baby before midnight on New Years Eve so they could get the tax write-off on the baby for the entire year. She took one dose of Castor Oil and then, when that didn’t work fast enough for her, she took a second dose. The hospital was very concerned about the amount of stress the baby was under and they couldn’t figure why. She never told them.
@@IJustWantToUseMyName I had a friend that did the same thing last year. Well, not in terms of taking castor oil to induce the labor but they did go to the hospital to induce the day before new years for the tax write off. I'm not sure if that works or not for taxes but I don't believe in putting yourself or the baby at risk for a few extra dollars
Many years ago when I did my doula training, one of the books I was reading advocated using castor oil to induce labor. To me, that was horrifying and I hope that no new, gung ho, naíve doulas used that to help induce labor in an impatient, “overdue” mom who has been told by her provider that it’s not quite time to induce labor.
Please note: The use of a doula to help mom through labor or postpartum can be worth their weight in gold, as I had a wonderful career for 25 years. However, never, EVER should a doula contradict their client’s provider. It’s actually pretty scary what’s written in pregnancy books regarding labor induction. Check with your provider with ANYTHING that you consume medicinally during pregnancy. ❤️
This story emulates my mother. She was 15 weeks along in pregnancy and had a miscarriage. The doctor wouldn’t do a D&C on her because they both believed she had already passed the fetus and he was afraid her uterus would collapse. Turns out, she was originally pregnant with twins and lost one early on. A few months later she went into labor with me. To think the doctor saved my life by not doing the D&C is so crazy. Thank you Dr. Franklin.
I had to have an emergency d&c due a miscarriage in November because I was hemorrhaging. Randomly after recovering when I was being discharged the doctor said I have a beautiful uterus which is the weirdest compliment I've ever had...
Lol My surgeon said something similar during my second c-section. "You have beautiful fallopian tubes."
During my first (unplanned) c-section, the surgeon said "huh, that's weird" and I was like "WHAT". I had a large fibroid that he "could have used as a handle".
So, memorable comments for both.
I just had a smear test and was told (for the third time now) that I have a lovely-looking cervix. It is such a strange compliment, but hey, I'll take it! 😁
Uh.... K thanks? 👀👀👀
My OB accidentally printed a picture during an internal ultrasound (looking for cysts, not pregnant) and she gave it to me cause I thought it'd be cool to have a picture of my uterus. She wrote "happy little uterus and ovaries : )" on it. It made me chuckle
Medical professionals give the weirdest compliments ever 😅
"When in doubt take a pregnancy test" lol I keep a box of cheap Amazon pregnancy tests under my bathroom sink for this reason. I have an IUD but I'd rather be safe in the small chance it fails than sorry that I missed it.
That's the second time I've seen a comment like this today so I feel like I'm going to start doing the same thing!
Totally a good plan. Dollar stores have FDA approved pregnancy tests too, but you'll catch funny looks if you buy 5 at once lol
@@mandime4798 Ugh... That reminds me of that horrible post about buying pregnancy tests from the dollar store. The people who are willing to judge someone based off where they buy pregnancy tests needs to get a life. Lol That's the perk of buying from Amazon though. No judgment.
@@jehold2010ify oh I bought 3. Nobody said anything. They're always out so I like to buy a bunch. They're pretty effective too cause I tried one when I was 2 weeks pregnant and 3.5 weeks pregnant since the second line at 2 weeks was faint.
I think there's a cheaper one at walmart and you could use the self checkout but I've never been able to find them.
You'll never see those people again. Self care is more important than other's opinions who don't know you.
I'm 7 week pregnant and I had and IUD, so I endorse your plan 😅
It's good to see other mummas didn't feel connected to their babe right away. It took me about 8 weeks to tell him I loved him and meant it, which sounds awful but I adore my little man now
You were busy getting to know the little one. Neither of you had seen each other. Sometimes you need time to learn about this wee baby. And that's all right.
I didn't feel like I bonded with my eldest as quickly as my husband did.
I had a pretty rough delivery with my first and wasn't interested in him at all. I got really annoyed with the midwife keeping on wanting me to hold him. However, the best memory I have (and I wouldn't swap it for the entire world) was watching my husband hold our newborn with the sheer look of wow on his face while I was being stitched up. I was also fortunate that I'd read a book by Dr Sheila Kitzinger about a week before the birth and she said that not wanting to hold your baby was perfectly normal, given how much hard work you'd just been through. Not connecting with your baby at delivery is normal. I hope you're not feeling bad about that.
It's hard to just love something/someone you don't know who may have caused you to go through the most traumatic physical experience of your life yet. Processing those feelings of a child is not an easy task.
Forgiving them for any pain and suffering they caused you (and if you had any lasting issues after their birth) can be a very difficult thing to do. The responsibility of a child plus the social pressure to be a good mom can drive anyone away from their child and resent the burden they have been handed wrapped in a delivery blanket.
I had PPD and wasn’t able to bond until I got treatment for that.
Sweet greetings to you past self, Dr.Jones, who was amazed by 500K viewers. In this future, you're at 1.37M of us! Still going strong and very much to our benefit. Thank you so much for educating us, understanding us and being a very sweet person!
As an AFAB trans guy I’m glad that you’re trans positive ❤️
First gyno appointment I ever went to (was seriously late on it, I know) one of the first questions the nurse asked was what my pronouns were and I honestly nearly cried because I was worried I’d be misgendered the entire appointment.
Trans positive gynos are so incredibly appreciated 😭❤️
they are talking to you... so why would you be misgendered? people use pronouns when talking about you, not to you. doctors and nurses dont usually call patients sir or maam regardless.
@@barbrothers2this just in, pronouns are the only form of gendered language!
I've been called girlfriend, sweetie, ma'am, "Mrs", Miss, and more by doctors and nurses. They also usually use my legal name, not the one printed in big letters on my file, and ignore the teal "They/Them" patch that's about 4 inches wide on my shirt.
@@tjet34 i'd ignore it too, you sound insufferable. just be a normal human being, you aren't a they/them. you're a woman.
I had a history of miscarriages so when I started bleeding a doctor said I had miscarried and closed my file. It turns out I was still pregnant.
Wow bad doctor right there.
Oof.
I felt those same emotions when my son was born 8 weeks early. Bonding through an incubator is so so hard.. but hes my whole crazy loud world 2.5 years later. It takes time but those emotions dont make you a bad parent at all
I had the same experience as you. My son was due June 15th but came early on April 11th. It is tough to bond. The hospital wouldn't even let me hold him. I viewed him thru a plate glass window.
@@sharynkoren8758 Its so hard especially if they have complications. I was so young to i feel for you so much
@@sharynkoren8758 did you just recently have your baby? Cause I couldn't imagine in this climate. I was able to hold my son after a day and that in itself was torture
I really love the fact that she's talking about depression and having the trouble bonding and then they show that later on they have a great relationship. As someone who wants to have kids but suffers with clinical depression post partum depression is something that I am really afraid of with all the sensational horror stories in the news. Someone being open about dealing with that and showing that it's something that you can grow past really helps ease my anxiety about one day having kids.
Love how honest she was - even with my planned pregnancy I needed a little time to get to know my infant. I was immediately in love with her but I still needed time to get to know her!
Loved the ending with the grown daughter and mama. My mom was forced to have me at 17 against her will (religious family in an area that didn’t allow teens to have voluntary abortions), had severe eclampsia with me when I was born, and then I was born premature and developed pneumonia and nearly died in the hospital. Mom has never said it but I can only imagine that connecting with her first baby under those circumstances was difficult. Today she is my very best friend in the entire world.
In a week or less, I'll be a first time mother. I've been binge watching "I didn't know I was Pregnant" episodes. Don't ask me why XD
When I was pregnant with my first I binge watched a series on TLC called "A Baby Story". I think it's a normal way to sort of self soothe the anxieties you're feeling about being a first time mom. Totally normal. Congratulations on your upcoming little one!
Aw congratulations
You will do great babe I promise
I hope that all goes well for you!
@@dianaking1106 I watched that show for years! I cried all the time when the baby was born 🐣 In fact when I read your post, I immediately heard the Baby Story theme song in my head
Girl I'm not pregnant or a mom and I started buying episodes on iTunes a lil while ago lol I have 18 that I purchased
when my nana was pregnant with my mum, she had twins, but fell and lost one of the twins, but didnt realise she was even pregnant with twins, so she didnt know for a while that she was still pregnant until she went to the doctor for something else
Miscarrying a twin does happen, but without ultrasound confirmation that there were twins, I'm more inclined to believe that the bleeding was a subchorionic hematoma or a bleeding polyp or fibroid. Those things are way more common than twinning. There are millions of women who go to the doctor's for bleeding and even large clots during pregnancy, only to be told that their baby is perfectly fine. PSA, if you suspect you're having a miscarriage, always get it checked out by an OBGYN. Sometimes the baby is perfectly fine, sometimes baby is okay but you need to take more precautions moving forward to prevent an actual miscarriage, and sometimes it can be an incomplete miscarriage that can cause medical complications. Always, ALWAYS get it checked out.
I had severe post partum with my oldest, and did not connect when I first saw him. It was an abusive relationship, complicated and painful pregnancy, plus emergency c section and he was a nicu baby. I struggled so much to attach to and be comfortable with this baby.. now he's 10, and is special needs with severe ADHD and debilitating anxiety however i love him to the moon and back. He's so clever, and creative, he's genuine and caring.. he's my baby boy and I'm his go to person for everything. It's hard as society puts a lot of pressure on you to feel a bond and attachment right off the bat, there's little to no conversation on how common this is or how it really doesn't make you a terrible mum or that with supports and patience it will pass. I even had a nurse tell me that I'm being a bad mum for being scared to hold this baby with his little iv. I was 19 with no experience around babies (I'm still not a baby person really). I didn't have post partum with my younger son but circumstances were different and I was more mentally prepared. It is okay! It does happen and you are NOT alone
Hello MDJ
I love your videos!!! I'm from Africa and I learn a lot from you, especially since relationships with doctors here are different than in the US.
My cousin had stroke with her last baby and was in a coma for almost a month. One of the things they said was the cause was untreated (mistreated) pre-eclampsia. I hope that in the future you can talk a bit about this and how as pregnant women can recognize the symptoms and explain them to doctors so that they can get the needed treatment.
1) I just wanted to let you know how much respect I have for you, I actually started seeing your channel when I was interested in becoming a doctor but didn't know which kind of doctor I wanted to be. I knew I wanted to be something related to pregnancy/fertility (since my family has suffered many miscarriages and complications with fertility). Even though I'm having my doubts about studying to become a doctor, I still see your videos for educational reasons and I just adore how you find a way to educate people with humor and professionalism and how you take time off your schedule to clear doubts that people have. You truly deserve all your subscribers.
Also, nothing to do with that. But I love what you did to your hair.
My baby is now 7 months old. I had postpartum depression for maybe 4 months of her life until I finally was able to love on her. I now couldnt imagine my life without her and i always get sad that for the first 4 months of her life i wish she was never born and i missed out on 4 months of loving her. But i wake up everyday to her gorgeous toothless smile and i fall in love everyday and i thank god every day for her ♡
I remember in school a teacher bringing in a speaker about family science and they had a pamphlet about bonding. Some people got annoyed about it talking of being normal to not feel instant love for the baby like in the movies and it being okay to need an adjustment period to bond. The teacher talking about her early days bring home her own kids. Some girls were getting annoyed about it saying "No, a momma instantly loves her baby!" I'm sitting there keeping my mouth shut and sarcastically thinking 'How dare someone point out emotions are not so cut and dry!'
Wow. That's the EXACT reason your teacher brought the pamphlet out. There is an ignorance around mother/baby bonding and it's horrible because the mother can't talk to anyone about it without being accused of being a bad mother.
I was just hospitalized for gestational hypertension and my husband told his uncle I was being monitored for gestational diabetes. We had a talk about the difference between gestational hypertension, preclampsia, eclampsia, and hellp syndrome. Flash forward to two hours later and we’re watching this and I’m just staring at him...
DMJ: "When in doubt, take a pregnancy test."
DM: "Chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions."
This actually happened with my mom when she had my Brother. He had a twin that my mom miscarried like the woman in the video, then she went to the doctor and found that she was still pregnant with my brother.
I am a surviving twin
It took months for my mum to finally get a positive pregnancy test
So am i
When I had my 12 week dating scan, my daughter wriggled so much the sonographer struggled to keep her in focus. While trying to find her, the sonographer noticed what appeared to be an empty sack. She took measurements and suggested that it was a fertilised egg that hadn't attached to the uterus properly so had died. It didn't make any difference to the care I needed.
I did, however, have pre-eclampsia from around 32 weeks. I was admitted onto the anti natal ward at 34 weeks. where I was constantly monitored over the next week before they decided to induce. Around three hours after having the gel on my cervix, I was back on the monitor. Baby's heart rate was dropping with contractions - baby was in distress. As I hadn't dilated much, she was delivered by emergency c-section. The doctor also sent the placenta away for testing. It had started to calcify, which they usually saw in pregnancies over 40 weeks. I was 35 weeks.
Rhianalanthula I was delivered by emergency c section
They told my mum that I would be taken to special care as they thought that I was premature and small
However my mum was convinced that I was older
Turned out she was correct I was a healthy weight and estimated 44 weeks gestation
It was 1976 and it was my dad who noticed that the monitor showed that I was in distress. He had gone to the medical library to learn how to interpret the monitor as a scientist he likes to understand things
@@Rhianalanthula Wait, what? How?
Her husband going crazy happy after 🤣🤣 reminded me of Tom cruise on the Oprah show 🤣🤣
I watched this episode back in the day, at the time I was like: what the hell woman? She had no periods, gained weight and had swollen ankles. How in the world did she not think she was pregnant?
Sometimes after a miscarriage people won't get a period for a certain amount of time, plus she said she was eating a lot more which would explain the weight gain, and sometimes fast weight gain is accompanied by swelling.
@@shelbymasters she was also feeling nauseous... So I'd have to agree with OP. at the very least, she should have taken a pregnancy test, because people can get pregnant again after miscarriages. She should have gone to the doctor. Like for God's sake, you think she would have thought "hmmm...maybe something's wrong..." but she did...and what did she do? She went like "oh I'll go to the doctor!" And never went through with it. She's a grown woman, she needs to be able to get past her fears and take care of her own health. Easier said than done, I know, I get it, as a person with severe anxiety issues and OCD. And it kinda upsets me that her husband didn't push her to go to the doctor, when she was very obviously having health issues...it just seems like he's kinda enabling her self destructive behavior. I don't understand why people in this comments section, act as if everything this couple did was totally acceptable. This situation could have been easily avoided, and she put herself and her unborn child's life at risk, because she refused to see a doctor. I'm glad she survived....but god...I hope she learned her lesson. Her behavior was reckless. Also swelling in the legs and feet is also a symptom of kidney failure.... if you are swelling like this...go. to. a. doctor.
I had my son twenty years ago and PPD followed. I had a hard time transitioning into motherhood because of the depression and then feelings of inadequacy followed. My doc put me on an antidepressant specifically for PPD, and after about a month, I started to feel like my old self again. It was a difficult time. Flash forward twenty years and my son is a wonderful young man.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, I was 19 and not ready for another kid. I decided to give her up for adoption. So, I went through an agency and picked out a family for her. So the months went on and I got to know that family really well. Anyway, on my 20th birthday, which was 8 days before my due date, the family called me to tell me that they had changed their minds about adopting my daughter. Well, that didn't leave me with a whole lot of time to meet and get comfortable with a new family, so I decided to keep her myself. When she was born, I felt that same way towards her. Like I thought she was really cute, but I had no desire to hold her or want to be near her. The bond wasn't there. I went my entire pregnancy convincing myself that I was having a baby for another couple so that I had the strength to give her up when the time came so that motherly instinct took a while to kick in. I didn't feel like I truly loved her for a while, probably like a week or 2. I felt horrible for feeling that way and because I was so ashamed, I didn't tell anyone how I felt. It's nice to know that in certain situations, those feelings are normal. Anyway, that was 13 years ago and now she is my favorite human ever. ❤️ That family gave me the best gift by not wanting her. I couldn't imagine not having had my baby.
I love that mom was like that. I didn't connect with my daughter immediately either. They asked if I wanted to hold her and I said no take her for her tests. My first words about her is "she looks like an alien"
I had the same experience. My first words when they tried to hand mine to me was "uhh eww" haha and I recoiled
Thank you both for your honesty. Hopefully your honesty will help someone else not feel guilty. 👍
I had read a book before delivery by a lady who was very honest about her birth and feelings around the baby she had. Basically started out writing how the first thing she said when meeting her son was "he is all gross in his face" (translation from Danish). Just reading that another mother had not instantly bonded with her baby and been all rosy clouds and happy bunnies was such a relief. Especially as I took some time getting that bond too. It is really helpful when people are honest about such things. I takes the pressure off and helps you not feel like a freak for not having that instant bond and rosy world view.
@@secretlyamazing I told my daughter a long time ago what a said and we just laugh about it now. People that feel a pressure to be over the top about their kids and people with out children tend to recoil about honest statements in my opinion. And I mean over the top like they are told they will bond immediately and think they are the only ones and not really honest with themselves about it. When people get offended for my child I tell them she doesn't care she thinks it's funny.
@@82Vampi alot of people would be better off just being honest with themselves and others. There wouldn't be all this stupid pressure.
So happy to see a story where there wasn't immediate connection at the beginning, but they ended up having a great relationship!
I think something she kind of glossed over was that she woke from her comma a few days after birth. That's when baby blues start. Mine started day 2, so she was already going through baby blues before even knowing she had a baby. And then the complete disconnect. She passed out and then woke up a few days later to everybody telling her "this baby is your baby" and she's just expected to believe that and be in love? Lol. Hard to process, especially through peak baby blues
I would love a video/discussion on the “husband stitch” or where after vaginal birth the doctor puts an extra stitch in to try and tighten the vagina, particularly to please the husband. I’ve read many stories of it being done wrong and needing to be removed because it causes pain during sex. I’m not sure how common it is overall, but it’s definitely disheartening and rather sad but not talked about
Boost!
Yes! And other decisions that are taken away from women. I know someone who's OB asked their husband if he'd like his wife's tubes tied just before she went in for a c-section. Didn't bother to ask the wife!
My mom got stitched after delivering her first kid, but an intern did it, so he did it wrong and stitched too much. Then the doctor had to unstitch it, but first made sure to show all his students how a bad stitch looks like/feels like. So after the team of ten medical students had touched the bad stitching they unstitched her.
@@Reggie_la 😨
Oh my god I didn't know this was a thing and I'm HORRIFIED
A lady at my church miscarried over Easter weekend a number of years ago. She described bleeding and pain so bad she felt she was dying. Previous scans had shown she carrying one baby. Later that year, in early September, she gave birth. Her and her husband referred to their child as a miracle. They now have two more, fortunately without traumatic pregnancies.
I wish this show would talk about adoption. Many women in this situation are not prepared to be a mother on such short notice or don’t want to be. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, it means they are choosing the best life for them and the baby. Adoption is great and should be normalized.
Because a lot of moms dont share if they put the baby up for adoption. Especially back then.
I mean... giving a child up for adoption isn’t great, it might be the right choice for the mother, but the child usually suffers for it. A baby will be easier to find a home for, but to say adoption is great is just simply wrong. (To clarify, I’m talking about America)
I don't think adoption should be considered great and normalized. It's stressing and will lead to long term consequences for both parents and children. It has to stay a last resort, where every other option being weighted out and decided against.
As an adoptee, I feel like I can agree with both sides of this argument. In the adopted community nowadays, there's a big push to normalize the feelings of trauma that come with being adopted, and I think that's really helpful because it makes you feel validated in your struggles. That said, I think adoption can be great for the adoptive parents, who get to form a family, it can be beneficial for the birth parents, even though it can obviously be an incredibly heartbreaking experience, because it gives them the option not to take on child rearing when they're not ready. And it can be both good and bad for the child and it really depends on individual cases. I do think talking about adoption on a show like this could have the benefit of reducing stigma associated with giving one's child up for adoption, a stigma that no birth mother should ever have to deal with, and as long as they handled it properly I think that would be nice to see
The issue with adoption is that it isn't perfect...and putting your kid into foster care can lead to serious issues. I've heard some horrific stories from people who were given up for adoption. So many kids never get adopted. Some are even abused by foster parents. Abortion also needs to be talked about more and not treated like some kind of murderous evil act. There is a chance that adoptions can go very well, but you can't just expect that everytime, if you want things to go well, you kinda have to work at it, or just let luck take the wheel.
I love how honest the mom was. My mother experienced post partum depression with both me and my sister. My mom is still one of my best friends and I love her so much. She really struggled with her mental health while we were growing up. Her openness about it is what allowed us to be as close as we are
Yes please do a video on rh negative pregnancies! Also its just crazy to me how you can lose a baby and the other stay in the womb and be perfectly fine!!
I miscarried a twin. Passed the tissue. My hcg numbers continued to climb...
She'll be 14 in August. I'd never heard of that happening before! 😲
This happened to me too. I was the twin who survived. Idk how it happens, but with little medical knowledge my family kind of blames it on me. I do too. They love me but this was unusual so they don't know anything. I would like further discussion on it actually. Did i kill my twin or did i not?
@@shramanadasdutta3006 what noo, don't feel bad about it! You did nothing bad and your family blaming you for the death of your twin is absolutely insane, it sounds like your family is still hurting about it and needs therapy, that includes you.
@@elisabethtuuling-askforema1940 het thanks for reaching out. But blames me as in points fingers towards me or resents me. But we don't know what happened, except it didn't get enough nutrition as there were 2 babies competing for it. Thats the doctors' assumption. They love me and are really glad that at leat one baby survived. So the obvious connection were made. But they fucking love me and have never worded these speculations.Its just that pregnancy was very bad for Maa and she didn't even try again for a kid in fear. I am an only child and hate being so, knowing that there was a possibility of that not being the case and that too a twin! It feels like a missed opportunity and i have some survivors' guilt. 😇😇
With both of my pregnancies, I didn’t feel that instant love, or a connection. It took a month for me to feel love for my oldest. I took care of her, fed her, etc, but never that heart swelling with love feeling.
Second baby, took a couple of days, but I knew what I was doing.
I made sure to tell the new moms in my second due date group that it’s okay to not feel that maternal love right away. Just be sure to talk to your provider about anxiety/depression.
Yesss, more obgyn reacts I love it 😍 please do more call the midwife reactions , that show is so good
Yes! I’d love more call the midwife reactions 💕
Great segment!!! I am on so many news channels and news talking point channels that my blood pressure has gotten quite high. I had to go this morning to the doctor after waking up at 5:30 with blood pressure 168/101. Anything over 90 and my doctor blows a gasket so I knew it was time to call. Furthermore my head pain in my head was not worse than it ever ever been but pretty darn close. Together with the pressure really had me concerned! So, I’m on another blood pressure medicine because nothing is going to come down till after November I pray to God! And I undoing all my news channels as far as getting notifications. Which means now I might actually see yours when it comes up mama Dr. J!!! 🥰🥰😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
You're awesome! I found you on youtube while I was pregnant and I'm still here afterwards. You have so much info to share!
I agree that it is “good” to hear she did not feel a connection to the baby immediately. This happens more often than most people realize when the pregnancy is planned, let alone in a situation like this!!! Of course it is sad that it happens, but like I said, more common than most people know / think. So I am glad they shared this. Because I think many people would not share this, being afraid to be seen as a bad parent. And I want to emphasize that it can happen to fathers too! Not only mothers.. even fathers can have postpartum depression. Which is something a lot of people do not know.
Whoa, almost half a million subscribers! Congrats! These "i didn't know I was pregnant" always fascinate me
Can’t get pregnant anymore. Every weird symptom my reaction is “Mama Doctor J says, I need to take a pregnancy test!” Basically only ever watch MDJ and Brad Mondo videos anymore! Lol
Try Robert Welsh too. ☺️
Hey fam! 😁
Dr. Mike: Chest compressions!
MDJ: Take a pregnancy test!
Brad: Bleach doesn't lather!
@@runningerins4027 or: Your roots process faster
Heyyyy 😜
I love how it seems like whenever you either want a good outcome for those people, or see that there has been a good outcome that you put your hand on your heart... shows such extreme joy for those people and the job that you do 💖
Me: *finally starts winding down to sleep since it’ll almost 1 am.*
Also me: must watch video. *immediately clicks on video*
It's almost three AM here, I am awake and in stupid amounts of pain, watching MDJ rather than trying to sleep.
I like that they showed the first few weeks don't dictate if you'll be a good mother or not
My Bizarre Miscarriage Story
DR. JONES! YOU SHOULD READ THIS!
I wanted to share my miscarriage horror story. I was raped at 15 by a boy walking me home from school. 8 weeks later I was bleeding severely. I went to the school nurse and she called my mother to tell her to take me to the E.R. when I went I was bleeding so much that a urine pregnancy test was impossible, and they did no blood test or ultrasound. The hospital gave me a shot of morphine and sent me home. They said that I PROBABLY wasn't pregnant. 24 hours later I lost so much blood that I had a seizure. My mother wouldn't let me go back to the hospital. My hands, feet, and lips were blue; and the rest of me was as pale as a sheet. A few days later I took a pregnancy test and it still read positive. I even passed a skin colored clot that was the size of the tip of my thumb. I bleed for two weeks and to this day, no one in my family believes that it was a miscarriage. Dr. Jones, how do you explain that? What are your thoughts? Did I have a miscarriage?
I’m sorry you had to go through that. It does sound like a miscarriage but I’ll let Dr.Jones answer that.
The size of the clot you passed does seem to align with how large a fetus would be at this stage of pregnancy, the signs and symptoms line up with it, so it does sound like it yep. Obviously not a medical professional so don't take it for any more than interpretation of events :P
That sure sounds like a miscarriage to me too. I had a miscarriage at a similar stage in my pregnancy, and it was pretty much what you've described. A LOT of blood (like getting 10 periods all at once), very painful cramping, and a little fetus about the size of a broad bean.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that with no support. I hope you're in a better place now and there are people around you who you can lean on.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
I'm sorry that happened to you. :(
I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely does sound like you 100% without a doubt had a miscarriage. I had one back in June 2022 😢
Currently road tripping through a huge storm and your video is keeping me from freaking out 😌 Love you Dr. Jones!
I've never been the type to suggest video ideas but have you considered covering RawBeautyKristi's pregnancy announcement or Q&A. Her story is so heart warming and interesting to me
I had a miscarriage just over 12 weeks and I went straight to the Doctor. He examined me, did several tests, told me I had lost the baby which I already knew. A week later I was back because I was still throwing up 24/7 and the Doctor told me there is another one and he didn’t know how he missed it.
I had Pre Eclampsia with very high blood pressure, Gestational Diabetes and my eyesight was weird. I was full of fluid and I was in and out of hospital for 2 weeks at a time. I knew exactly when I conceived because we only had sex once. My baby was due on my Dad’s Birthday which was March 10th and I went into Labor on Boxing Day in December. I had asked my Mother to come and get me because they would only let me leave the hospital if I was in bed and someone was taking care of me. My husband worked so she drove 4 hours to take me home.
I was booked into my local hospital because I did that before they moved my husbands job and I grew up in a holiday resort at the beach. It was Summer and half of our town closed for the cooler months of the year in the Winter.
When I was taken to the Hospital the Nurse in charge was very angry because so many people on holiday had their babies early and there were no beds. She put me in a side 2 bed room and never told my Doctor I was there. Eighteen women in labor went through the bed next to me and had their babies. I was raised to not question and respect people in authority. My pains were two minutes apart when I got there. She kept telling me I wasn’t having a baby so if I said I was in pain she hit me and I believed that was what happened and she had that right. Four nights later she gave me two sleeping pills four times, I didn’t know that was what they were. I didn’t go to sleep but I felt very drunk so I got up and packed my bag. I was going home to ask my Doctor what the pain was if I wasn’t having a baby.
The Nurse caught me at the top of the stairs, she said she tried to stop me but she pushed me and I was lucky the stairs turned halfway down so I hit the wall and stopped. I was also lucky a Nurse’s Aid witnessed it.
When you wake up from a coma and your husband does a handstand LMAAAOOO IM DECEASED
Good to see people talk about the fact that you can feel different then joy after a birth.
My mother had the same experience with my twin brother I was born "normal" but because my twin brother wouldn't want to come out the had to do emergency c-section. The first time she held him it really felt strange. Because her brain had difficulties with making the connection you where in my belly first and know you are here
Need some tshirts. “When in doubt take a pregnancy test” and “period is not a dirty word”
Thank you for reacting to this episode twin loss is real. 🦋 I was told you're not pregnant, to you had a miscarriage so you're not pregnant at all anymore, to you're pregnant still but that was her twin you lost, all in 5 days! And PS I was taking test after test... For those 5 days I knew better.
I love how even though I suck at science and can’t deal with blood and stuff, you still make me want to be a OB/GYN😬
Your channel is so important I am glad the numbers are growing.
Your hair looks so good! Is it possible to adjust the volume levels of the video you’re reacting to? Have to turn it up super loud to hear what that video is saying but then your segments are twice the volume. Love you and your videos!
Subscribed!! Just recently changed OBGYN & I LOVE my new doctor. Watching your videos have made me much more comfortable with my visits!
Love your videos, so informative and you seem like the nicest person! You have inspired me to become a doctor, and I will apply to med school next year. Thank you so much! Hugs from Norway! 💜
I'm literally 2 seconds in, but why does your voice make me so happy lol? I started watching your videos and a bunch of other medical UA-camrs about a year ago because I was seriously looking into going into the medical field. You all have helped me re-confirm that that's not really my thing personally, but I still watch all of your channels because you've just become such a constant in my life, and your videos are my favorite out of the bunch for some reason ❤️ Thanks for doing what you do, and always doing such a great job with it!
At the beginning when you mentioned that it was Pride Month, I thought you said it was Cry Month and I was totally on board. Just nodded like yup, been crying, how did you know?
I love the "I didn't know I was pregnant" series. Great job MDJ
I feel like the big takeaway from all of these videos is "When in doubt, take a pregnancy test."
Not feeling a connection toward your baby is completely normal. If any mother is feeling regret, DON’T. From a young age I wanted to be a mother, and when I finally became one, it was hard to connect. It may have been because I was a teenager, but I may not ever know the reason. My twins were born and I was basically a robot. Breastfeed, change diaper, eat, sleep. That was my day. It wasn’t until they were about a month old that I kinda felt this spark. I was having a bad panic attack due to anxiety and nothing really was calming me down. But then I looked into my sons’ eyes. I held onto their little hands, the hugged them both. That calmed me down. Having two little boys who loved me no matter what? That was an amazing feeling. And I felt that love, that connection. Don’t worry parents, that connection comes. It just takes a little time and patience.
Have you heard of carissa Nunez? She's another UA-camr who recently went through a miscarriage and was previously documenting the whole pregnancy. She had a negative experience at the obgyn and I think maybe reacting to her miscarriage video you could shed light on the coldness that is associated with failed pregnancies and the doctors!
I think that's normal nowadays. There's a lot of doctors that really don't care. They see a lot of women. They don't remember everyone. It's just in and out.
The strangest ob/gyn doctor I've ever encountered was at the hospital. He didn't check me, didn't touch me, and was standing in the corner. Thankfully the next shift came and he found out all my problems. If maybe he checked me they could have prepared me for my emergency c section sooner. The hospital couldn't reach my doctor since I went to the hospital at 1am.
I get that. But I almost died when I miscarried. I bled out. This could be life threatening. Doctors need to make that clear. Because I have medical knowledge I could identify the symptoms of shock and I could get to help on time. Had I left it and got back into bed I would’ve been dead come morning. I can never understand a doctor that tells women to go home to miscarry. It’s stupid
I absolutely adore your videos and want to say thank you for using your platform to support the people we need to help.
I love your facial expressions as you’re watching. You seem so genuine. :)
I think you should make a video where some of your pregnant viewers can share some of their concerns or even stories anonymously and you respond
Imagine fainting and when you wake up you have a baby
I am 24 weeks pregnant and I have been watching your videos since I started trying 2.5 months prior to that. I have learned so much from your videos!!! Thank you MDJ!!
:-) :-)
Thank you for that "when in doubt, take a pregnancy test" my doctor made me feel like a idiot for taking one when i was on birth control but i knew i felt sick and my uterus felt like a baseball. Turns out birth control was failing so I was right.
When I was little my mom was pregnant with my little brother and his twin. It was around christmas time and my mom lost the twin and we never knew that my brother had a twin so there was still a heartbeat. My mom is a healthcare worker and she knew that she had a miscarriage and she was so surprised when they said "oh you just lost the twin." I never knew what the gender was but my brother is one of my biggest miricals and he is happy and healthy at this moment and he is my life. I love what yoy are doing Mama Doctor Jones and I want you to continue❤
I want a spin off show of the dad and/or grandparents scrambling to get a baby room set up before mom and baby are discharged
Looooove the support for black trans people. ❤️
You look a lot like the actress who plays Erika Han in the early seasons of greys anatomy!!! a stunner AND A GREAT DR!!
Sooooo glad I clicked on this for another reason than the obvious (you are awesome!).. I never knew there was somewhere you could donate to the black trans community. Thanks for the info! 💗
Watch grey’s anatomy season 2 episode 17 “as we know it” Dr. Bailey gives birth during a code black
Especially regarding what they do if a mother refuses to push
Omg that season was so intense
I can't imagine why anyone would be unkind to you Dr. Jones, great videos BTW. Jessica has a very strong resemblance to her handstanding father.
With my first they put him on my chest and he peed all over me. My first words were he pissed on me and then asking hubby to take him. Took me weeks before I bonded with him, I felt like I was babysitting him more than he was mine
Alright. After watching for 2 weeks I had to finally subscribe. It's so nice to find a channel so supportive of women's health. Keep doing the good deeds doc.
They also threw the good old “shes flatlining grab the defibrillator to shock her back to life” trope in there for good measure 🤦🏼♀️
This was one of the best ones yet!! The honest emotions are what I am here for!! Love these episodes, they need to have more shows like this for you to review lol. I could listen to you talk all day ♥️
"When in doubt take a pregnancy test" litterally my go to life saying😅 single mom of 2 and everyone always asks me "what were your pregnancy symptoms" and my answer is always "take a pregnancy test you can get them for a dollar" 😂