It’s super scary to be in a relationship like that. He was charming and super helpful in the beginning seven years later I have a permanent restraining order. I’m lucky to still have my life. I am glad you continue to talk about this and educate people. Givers always get taken advantage of by these dark personalities they look for the givers. My eyes are open. I will never again get caught in that. I pray you have good health and success. You fill an important need.
Dr. Ramini runs at the first sight of someone charming! 😆 She's a pretty big star now, and she has to go to events and dinners, that kind of stuff. Her number one red flag.
Hmmm....thats what they do ...they fill a need to hook you in and then you feel obligated and then they have you right where they want you... indebted to them. It's a horrible horrible feeling being under someone's thumb. Best to always stand on your own two feet and accept help from people who won't use it against you. Those strings are sticky.
My last therapist told me to leave he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He was the first person to tell me you are dealing with a narcissist. Prior to that I didn’t know what a narcissist was. Thank God for that man he saved my life!!!!!!!
I am a retired Probation Officer who used to work specifically with spousal assaulters. Part of my work involved informing victims of the hugely increased danger in leaving a violent partner. This is the time when they are at most risk of being murdered. So many experts on here talking about the perpetrators and the importance of leaving them, but in an irresponsibly incomplete manner. The most important and crucial step for a victim is constantly being ommitted in the conversation,,,,,that is the absolute need to set a safety plan to leave safely to a place where the abuser will never find them. Not expanding on this is contributing to the violence!!
I agree with you I am a victim of domestic violence and this Dr always irritates me because she just reads a book and thinks she knows but she doesn’t know and she doesn’t have experience. Many times she says you need to talk to the narcissist, wrong! You don’t need to talk to someone that will never change and could hurt you. I always thought she was a fraud. She can cause more harm than good. I wish she would realize it.
@@mariapilarme how dare you assume such from one sentence. These videos have helped me in my recovery from an extremely dangerous man. It's possible I misunderstood the comment, but don't ever assume to know someone else's journey.
You are so right Dr Ramani about the fear of being on your own - it is great and freeing and wonderful and i pity couples now and see women getting nervous about spending money in front of a partner and arguments and women looking nervous around a partner. Who wants that - being in control of your own life is the ultimate for a woman. Never ever underestimate freedom and how impactful that is - you will sleep better, eat better, have more time and choose how you live your life and do what you want.
The Post Separation abuse was brutal. I didn't have these tools but had God, process, therapy, and small step after small step. 7 years later, I am beyond grateful for pouring into me so I can live well now. The process may be terrifying but is WORTH IT. It really is!
Hope so. For the moment I fight against some sort of "legal octopus" put up against me by my Xnarc. Unfortunately for me, he exploited narc-allies everywhere...
It's the intentional stuff that got me. No one believed me, even to this day, people say they "knew him, not him, he is so nice!" Yeah, well that's all an act.
In the beginning - It's like finding the most sincere kindest person in the whole wide world. They are nice and gentle. They are affectionate. They will cuddle you and hold you. A couple months in you will notice that they seem to lack in the intimacy department but you will dismiss that to shyness. They will mimic/mirror your style of communication & you the entire time (which goes unnoticed until they become distant with you & use new words). I learned that If you express intimate emotions they will say “I feel the same way for you too or I would do the same thing for you or I love you just as much or I'm glad to hear that.” Which feels insincere and robotic. However you might dismiss that to shyness or inexperience expressing feelings (even tho they could be gorgeous & clearly experienced with women). They will never voluntarily just express their love for you in their own words and say how much they love or miss you. Very rarely will you get an “I miss you" or ” love you" for no reason at all. You will wonder why? Like do they have any feelings? So, you find yourself working harder to make them feel more safe & more loved in hope's that they provide that love back to you. It's easy to dismiss them withholding as a lack of trust or insecurity because they seem so nice. You will look for logic in behaviors and with Coverts there is never any logic which will lead your further down a rabbit hole creating confusion. In time you will start to doubt your own perception of what you see and lack the clarity to see the abuse. You will have more anxiety, lack inner peace & feel tired. Your physical appearance might change where you either gain or lose weight. You struggle to keep yourself at peace. Its exhausting. By now, you have became an expert at everything they like. You take on all the chores and make their life as easy as possible. You feel isolated too b/c they kept you “away". You feel so confused b/c you worked so hard to break down their walls in hopes of a more consistent close bond with them. One day they seem really into you and the next they withhold affection. It's hard trying to figure out what is wrong. The more you vocalize your feelings the more they encourage you with their words that everything is ok. You certainly don't feel “ok" but you make peace with it the best you can and start “withholding” your feelings too b/c they have made you feel like your “too" sensitive and it's too much! Most of the time it will feel like they are present in the flesh but nothing else is going on inside them. Even after all this time you've been together you still feel like you don't really know them. If you happened to gain the courage at a later time to ask more questions as to why things still feel off they will say your being insecure & that they aren't cheating and make you feel like you have issues. If you cry they will watch tv, stare at their phone or even continue to eat dinner. They won't ever give you all their undivided attention & acknowledge your pain. Which makes you more confused bc their actions doesn't match their words. They won't look at you while you cry, they seem like it causes them shame to see you cry. At times you might feel like your having to teach them about feelings as if they were a child. You will wonder why their emotional intelligence seems very immature/off. Everything they have is something you also don't have access too. Their family, phone, friends, bank accounts, pay stubs, credit card statements, and etc. You will start off feeling like they are very private or insecure & years in it now feels like they are super secretive b/c it makes no sense for them to still be so private. They promise things that they don't see through or conveniently feel bad or forget everything that is important to you. They will isolate you and hide their relationship with you. When you express that something about what they are doing isn't right then they act like they lack understanding and that they do nothing to hurt you. You will always be explaining everything and wondering why they just don't get it! They will even use apologies as a form of manipulation. (lack of empathy and no change to their behavior). You will always feel like you need to phone a friend to ask if your situation is normal because this person will give you $200 to pamper yourself but won't invite you to Christmas dinners or let you have access to their phone. They will leave/abandon/ghost you to say they are sleeping at a relative's house then on their way home they will offer to bring you breakfast or something from the store. Even their giving is a form of manipulation. They want to distract you with gifts to keep you off balanced from the emotional abuse they are putting you through. When you ask them why they didn't come home they will say they felt like you didn't want them around or etc. You will spend the entire relationship wondering how someone who seems like such a nice person can be so emotionally cold. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
Sleeping with the enemy was a total eyeopener for me - brilliant at describing the narcissist!!!! Making you feel you are in the wrong and being punished and knowing it is not you but feeling trapped. That film is valuable and it is not about getting her back but the revenge and they love that revengeful bit as it gives them gratification whether it is running you down to relatives and their friends but above all it is a game to them of power and control and no one crosses them.
I slept with the enemy & escaped with my life after five years that became hell on earth. It’s so scary how cunning a psychopath can truly be in real life
I WAS a chronic giver. Attracted all bad guys under the sun. Had to learn...that my character was the culprit. And my looks, which people women/man said i look like an angel, a mairmaid, a flower, a xwz. The eyes...also gave a signal to others...that i was xwz. Now i live as a seclude. I had to...😢
I felt that last part so deeply. I don’t want to have to sell myself short just to “have friends”. I’ve been creating my safe space for myself for a bit now and I’m still reluctant to let others into it because they self deprecate and expect me “the one who has it all together” to coddle them through it. The “having it together” is a projection because I clearly voice my faults and Incapabilities, but they wave them off and I am over it. My mother did that a lot to me, called me strong and said “but you can handle these things” knowing I was just a child. It’s truly annoying to still find people who function from this place.
I can see now, that my father fit that description. Parents’ relationship had sadomasochistic characteristics. Very difficult to be empathic and grow up in their domestic abuse and the terror. I truly hope this discussion will strengthen and liberate women in these situations and their offspring. It pays to do the discovery and recovery work! ❤
In my experience with narcissistic abuse the resources to help aren't there. I've been lied about so much and gang bullied that no one would begin to listen to me and the narcissist is a fantastic actor. Over 40 years of this and my last counselor kicked me out of counseling telling me to go take lots of walks because my situation was too uncomfortable to listen to. I can't afford to go anywhere else and I'm tired of trying. The reality is brutal and targets aren't really supported because there's no quick money in it. I really appreciate all the information and it helps people realize that they're not crazy but realizing what you're truly dealing with is horrifying. Solitude is priceless!
😢 Thank you Dr Ramani and Lisa. Dr Ramani expertise in this subject is remarkable! Listen to every word be ready and stay quite because they will damage you for live if you don't kill yourself due to the years of abuse! Strategize your get away. Stay focus...Stay calm...It's going to be HELL but we can do it! Love and light ❤
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
I am amazed at your strength and ability to learn from your trauma and move forward THANKYOU for your service …. I’m 73 , I had a very abusive childhood and then as an adult two abusive relationships one right after another but I had no clue why , I do now and I can relate to much of what u say … THANKYOU it took all my life to learn how to have healthy boundaries and trust myself to keep them and I still struggle
She is RIGHT about everything. I was with a Dark Triad for 1 year. He wanted to kill me and my family at the end but ended up killing himself after burning his house and car down. No shame in the verbal abuse. More like glee and then love bombing and apologies. I's only been 9 weeks since the event and I have to say a year to recovery is probably the least. The trauma from this is immense. It's a hard recovery but one necessary. I agree with Dr. Ramani about stopping the fetishization of being in "romantic" relationships. The idea of romance and partnership has been sold like a religion of it's own and there are so many people chasing this type of exalted reality and they sacrifice their own needs for it. I hope we continue to tell each other that we are worthy and precious and okay alone before more damage is done. I will keep recovering and work on my on self love and care.
Very good to hear you warn people against physical involvement. Any honest decent person will be concerned about the true relationship. Not the physical.
Projection/reversal, they use it a lot. If ever an abuser accuses you of cheating (and you are not), I will bet the farm he is cheating. Once you crack 'the code', it becomes easy.
I found my narcissist didn't come near when I broke contact - he could see he was losing hes effectiveness and the lack of empathy meant I never heard a thing again and he wanted a new victim he could control. I had worked him out so I was like rubbish - on to the next. Not all come after you and plague you - they have already tried to destroy you mentally so that is what they thirst for.
Exactly. My experience...he pursued ALOT in beginning..rentlessly; but making, one bad decision after the other & sometimes rendering EMPTY apologies. He finally sucked the life out of me..until I turned my back...by then, he had already engaged a new victim. After about 3yrs when he drained her, he reached back out to me. Horrific cycle. Always working an angle. Presenting a facade...NEVER intending to fulfill promises. (Pyschologically/spiritually BROKEN)
I’ve currently gotten out of a relationship like this, and have given myself a year to recover and learn from the experience. This totally validated my game plan. Thank you for this!
Yes. My ex was the malicious narc. He loved physically and mentally hurting. He giggled, smiled, laughed, sneered. All the accidents i was victim of, at first thinking he was so clumsy, then realizing he was doing it on purpose. He actually looked me right in the eyes when he hit my hand with a hammer. He was gleeful when he knew he hurt. I went no contact and moved far away. Cops told me to explain enough to my adult kids so they would never give my info no matter what he said, no matter how mad he got and to not fall for any kind of I need to see her or i need to talk to her or i need her info for someone else etc. its been seven years and so far i am safe. I know he wants revenge for me “taking all his money”. Which i did not even get half. So i am always aware of keeping safe. Everything you say is true of him. How did he hide it so long.
You may also have spotted such tactics as (either accidentally or in a fit of rage) breaking stuff. However, never their stuff, only ever YOUR stuff. Funny that. Even when they appear to rage, they are still in control. Stay safe.
@@davinasquirrel7672 yes. Always mine. Also had junk dealer take all my things while I lay dying because “you are making me do everything while you watch tv. Thank god a friend came and got me and took me for medical help. He was waiting for me to die
Thank you for shedding light on how to identify these dangerous traits and for helping people find ways to escape or leave these situations safely. Maybe you can get a few sociological experts to interview how serial killers can operate in society. That would be interesting also.
I am living this. For a person from a healthy normal intelligent life when something like this happens it hits you between the eyes so badly because you are totally in the dark about a narcasists behaviours. Oh my word the roller coaster. I will end it next Feb. Planning my exit carefully
Slow and carefully planned exit is the best strategy. I wish you all the best. Once left, never fall for the "I've changed / I'll do better". Empty words to suck you back in.
They ruin your reputation, get you fired, turn your friends and family against you, turn your children against you...they damage everyone and everything that matters most to you. They even mistreat your pets or boil your pet bunny like Glenn Closes' female vindictive character in that movie from the 80's or 90's...the name escapes me. She was a one night stand that stalked him and his family. Very threatening, very creepy.
My post separation has been relentless. Two years and still not divorced. There's nothing here needs from me financially bc after he sucked the life out of me he is finally making more money and doing better than me finally so I'm no longer useful. However, he still sees it as a loss bc until i am totally destroyed he won't stop. He's back hoovering his ex wife and we had been together for 20 yrs - married. This has got to start being seen as criminal. I hope it not in my lifetime at some point.
I dated someone for a couple of months who sounds just like the person you're speaking of. He recently died & had a graveside service. I don't believe anyone missed him. He was so evil until he brought out the dark side of me. He broke my little cheap necklace by pulling it off my neck. I tried to rearrange his whole body. I let him know he & nobody will touch me & get away without being bruised & beaten. He had to chase him away. I don't know why he thought I needed him. With all the men in the world why would I want to keep a piece of trash around?!!!
I had 10 years of post breakup abuse. It was more subtle and manipulative but really harmful. Also, he stole our child and then made up terribly damaging false smear campaigns with the school. Stopped all payments abruptly before he even did that, lost our apt. He moved to my neighborhood, then, and smeared me to whoever we knew prior, and anyone else who would listen. Most people did listen, oddly.
This was pure gold, Thank you so much for this Lisa and DR Ramani, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and glory to the most high :-)
Thank you! I have seen hints of this in many of my family members, specifically the absentee or false empathy. The saddest part is no one would admit it or believe me!
They are truly demonic! I’ve heard the snarl and witnessed this behavior and it’s definitely VERY frightening and mind boggling in the beginning until you regain yourself and see things from the outside 👹
I had a tracking device in my car for "safety" reasons. It was used to track me! I started to use a private vehicle which has no tracking device. My company cell phone was "fortunately" stolen. So I got my own phone and a new number.
The day he verbally abused me to my face while just centimetres away from it was the last time I saw him. He was beyond shocked when I simply laughed in his face and said, well, that WAS a mask slip, wasn’t it. He knew his time was up and never tried to hoover. He was already grooming his new supply anyway, so why waste energy on me.
I was conned by a narcissist partner in 2015…had I had access to all this information, maybe things would have been different. I didn’t know anything about narcissists back then. Today I realize I attract them because I was raised by them. Information is a life saver and paramount for an empaths survival in this cruel world
Ok, I starred watching this one just out of curiosity, but the things she says in the second half are so true and important, that I actually want all my close friends and family to know. Ive been in narcissistic relationships some time ago and hope to never get into anything like this in the future, and I wish you to happily avoid them as well. Thank you, dr. Ramani for all the deep knowledge you share
This is all great info. "Information is the most valuable commodity I know of... wouldn't you agree?" A quote from 'Gordon Gecko' in the original Wall Street movie. And reliable information is even better, I say. The stomach churning topic of narcissism - sociopathy - psychopathy etc is intriguing to say the least, however, as it relates to a couple decades ago or so, to remember the no cell phone era (or the very beginnings) back when these topics didn't pop up on U tube + podcasts ETC... when women, mothers were "in the dark" (for real) and being blindsided by terrifying experiences that they never heard of or anything they could wrap their minds around at all because maybe they were naive. Maybe simply clueless in the 70s/80s when AIDS was in pandemic form and we felt a need to stay with our current husband/mate no matter the situation. Lots of women had children with these malignant narcissists not having a clue what would happen to their lives. What about us? Do we need a bit different path to pursue in terms of therapy and healing? 💜
Men don't hold a monopoly on these character traits. In fact I see it more often in self entitled females. Yes I agree it has a great deal to do with the Internet age. We're being informed by outside sources of fear mongering information. What are your thoughts?
I went back, to ironically stop the pain. It's the most painful thing you will do. To have to stand the disgusting cause of your pain, coz you're scared and know the kind of amplified pain they cause you once you leave 😢
I was born into a family of the dark triad. They all tried to kill me in various ways and over many years. All of them are dead now as a result of their own actions, drugs, drinking, car wrecks (DUI's), etc.
I AM being harassed. I have been marginalized and need a support network. My computers, phones everything being controlled. Its a total outrage. Im in WNY on a reservation. How can I get true help.
The problem I have with the dark triad/tetrad is the tremendous overlap in the concepts. Can’t we narrow it down? It seems like there’s the minimum symptom narcissist who may not intentionally hurt people, has some emotion, not violent, but lacks empathy. Self-centered as all the dark tetrad all are. It’s actually on a continuum from the above to few emotions, pleasure in inducing pain in others, criminality.
A narcissist DO intentionally hurt their victim and one more thing: If they are loosing control over their victim they also could bee very dangerous AND violent- Trust me cause mine covert narcissist did get violent at the last month of our 10 years of toxic relationship when he understand that I had got my power back and got out of The fog. It was him or me = To Live or Die .. for me. So I planned in secret for about 3 month and then I escaped and move out one day with help with 2 near friends of mine, when he was at his work for a couple of hours. Living in secret in s camping for about 4 month until I finally got my own flat out in the country and about 1 mile from the town. I'm still living here and I left him for about 11 1/2 year ago. When i left him in april 2014 he already has his next mistress since about a 4-5 month I think and he always all 10 years has a couple of those constantly at the same time - which I didn't know (of course) but has discoverd those latest years of our time together. Finally I woken up from the fog and also had started to educated me in what a NPD was etc. He felt really threatend of me and he leveled up to also did voilence to me and to punching me. In that situation I understand that if I don't leave him now I was gonna to die... Well I survived but he did his smearcampaign well all those years after and even tried to hoover me (when he find me later after his new partner had left him after about 2-3 years) but I was stronger than him and I got totally NC after that. Last February 2023 he died abrupt. Alone in his flat in multiple diagnosis of his alcoholism - only 55 years old. He was alone in that moment even if he had a couple of partners who everyone thought they where The One and Only. That was his destiny. Me? Living in peace and calm and I felt reliefed when he died cause he could not harm anyone no more. The supply and Flying Monkeys still belive him and his smearcampaign but I don't care cause I know the truth and I'm gratefull for that I survive that experiences that I never ever wanted to bee in and never again I'm gonna to trust a partner so much that much. I was totally blind and in a fog cause of his manipulation and lies. Now I can see all those Red Flags very quickly at other people and stop my self from being their partner or friend. It's so sad to say but there are many sick people out there in the world - so it's gonna take long time if I ever wanna to engage me again with someone. But. I'm only 65 year and Some Day I might meet a good person. I don't know and I'm not searching active I can tell You. Better alone in my own company than in a Devils company is my motto for now!
It's because not all people have very high levels of all of the triad/tetrad. For example, some psychopaths are not sadistic at all, they just don't care who gets in their way, whereas others enjoy causing pain and suffering. All psychopaths lack empathy but not all are sadistic. Or another example would be a narcissist who is more attention seeking, heated energy and grandiose, whereby all they care about is validation and supply. They might not be machiavellian, seeking power at all costs and control over their life by any means necessary, strategic and manipulative. I think a lot of "narcissists" identified by "victims" on the internet are dark triad/tetrad
I think they make big, risky decisions because they don’t have the capacity for thinking of the consequences. They are going to blame someone else when it fails anyway. The ex (my children’s father) is like this. An empty, shell of a person that everyone would love when he turns on his thing. My therapist told me of the damage done to us being around someone that’s shameless. His favorite phrase is “sucks to be you.”
This is the driving energy in cancel culture in America and we are all paying for this in more ways than one. I think our tax money can be better spent then paying these people to target Americans.
“The story was to depict how Deborah was foolish” this is the hardest part of this. You’re dealing with someone who has convinced as many people as possible to like and defend them, and alllllll the awful people who fall for it end up attacking the victim instead of actually paying attention or listening. So frustrating. The evil people who reinforce the narcissist’s behavior are worse than the narcissist imho. It’d be so much more manageable if people didn’t have to be CONVINCED not to feel superior to the victim in order to… not even help the victim, just not make it worse.
And you might be scared of the fact that you're just beginning to get a "Glimpse Of The Madman Across The Water" and now realizing what extent the children are at risk too. And it's 2004 and you and your children have been left for dead by your husband - the father of your children in a big house permeated with actively concealed toxic mold by the previous homeowners. And the malignant narcissist has already manipulated your finances, your intuitions and essentially everything you'd ever worked for. And says: "I can't afford to get sick" I'm out." Leaving mom and children to possibly die. "Thumb drive" ?? No - no, we had nothing like that. The damage was done before it ever started. We are SURVIVORS via a divine force working just for US!!! (Good news is he's dead now) 💜♥️💜♥️💜
As a therapist sure you cant puppetize. That said you need peers in session to help point the way to strength., if anyone is trying to control manipulate, maneuver its wrong
I believe women need their own bank accounts, and a way out of any relationship. Own home, duplex etc. Try to prevent vulnerability. Its very nasty out there. We cannot just blindly trust...
I really dislike when things are made gender specific. I'm talking about the title." If he's charming". As a man who has suffered at the abuse of a evil female, it makes me feel like everyone generalizes NPD as being men..
These a$$&@/$ move fast and mimic whatever you say you want or are yourself. That is the number one red flag. I married someone like this. My life was ruined in every way. I can only thank God for saving me from him not killing me.
I like the content of this channel and watch it from time to time and although I understand this channel is mostly oriented towards women I myself am a guy who has met many women with strong to extreme narcissistic tendencies and there may be lesbians who may have the same problem. I do wish this issue would be addressed as well ...women with these undesirable tendencies. I have not found anything for men like myself dealing with the sort of issues discussed here in women I have encountered. considering the vastness of women with those traits I do wonder if the problem lies deeper than psychological character analysis, which I do believe is valuable, but maybe there's a fundamental issue in the general paradigm of our time that creates these problems ... and of course I wish I - as a man facing the same issues as many women - also had a place to got to.
Oh “she” can for sure!!! Statistically though men are way more likely. But definitely don’t think women are saints so thank you for being transparent and saying this.
What to do if you have a dark triad ex who is stalking and threatening you? Mine is threatening to kill my other ex who i had to run back to bc of the new exes extreme abuse.. the new one is Soo jealous of the old one, and blames him for all our problems even tho the new one was every bit of abusive you could be.. especially verbally.. because of my codependence and his love bombing I was foolish enough to tell him where I'm going to be moving to.. But then quickly realized what a big mistake that was.. Now I'm afraid he's going to stalk me there and do something to hurt my other ex's who has been protecting me.. I'm legit kinda scared for my ex bc of how much hate the new one had for him for providing me a safe space to recover..
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Thanks for speaking out, posted on my blog. Never be afraid, angels are helping by the millions and the Light is stronger than the darkness.
Lis
0:17 this face Lisa 😂❤😂😂😂😂😂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖there are headlines over your head 😂 I can't read them but they say something for sure 😂😂😂😂😂
It’s super scary to be in a relationship like that. He was charming and super helpful in the beginning seven years later I have a permanent restraining order. I’m lucky to still have my life. I am glad you continue to talk about this and educate people. Givers always get taken advantage of by these dark personalities they look for the givers. My eyes are open. I will never again get caught in that. I pray you have good health and success. You fill an important need.
Same!
Me too. Same. Blessed to be of sound mind.
Exploitation is the hallmark of the dark triad
Dr. Ramini runs at the first sight of someone charming! 😆 She's a pretty big star now, and she has to go to events and dinners, that kind of stuff. Her number one red flag.
Hmmm....thats what they do ...they fill a need to hook you in and then you feel obligated and then they have you right where they want you... indebted to them. It's a horrible horrible feeling being under someone's thumb. Best to always stand on your own two feet and accept help from people who won't use it against you. Those strings are sticky.
They keep you for their convenience like an appliance to service them. They have zero concept of feelings
Any time you confront them on their lies, the verbal abuse is insane and you become the enemy bc they don't want to ever be called out on their lies.
You shouldn’t downplay evil to spare the “feelings” of an evil person
Yes it could cost us our physical safety.
My last therapist told me to leave he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He was the first person to tell me you are dealing with a narcissist. Prior to that I didn’t know what a narcissist was. Thank God for that man he saved my life!!!!!!!
I am a retired Probation Officer who used to work specifically with spousal assaulters. Part of my work involved informing victims of the hugely increased danger in leaving a violent partner. This is the time when they are at most risk of being murdered. So many experts on here talking about the perpetrators and the importance of leaving them, but in an irresponsibly incomplete manner. The most important and crucial step for a victim is constantly being ommitted in the conversation,,,,,that is the absolute need to set a safety plan to leave safely to a place where the abuser will never find them. Not expanding on this is contributing to the violence!!
No, they aren't. They all talk about preparing to leave and being safe. Dr Ramani has loads of videos on it
I agree with you I am a victim of domestic violence and this Dr always irritates me because she just reads a book and thinks she knows but she doesn’t know and she doesn’t have experience. Many times she says you need to talk to the narcissist, wrong! You don’t need to talk to someone that will never change and could hurt you. I always thought she was a fraud. She can cause more harm than good. I wish she would realize it.
@@anitaaustraliaObviously you never found yourself in that situation, this doctor said inappropriate things putting people at risk.
@@mariapilarme how dare you assume such from one sentence. These videos have helped me in my recovery from an extremely dangerous man. It's possible I misunderstood the comment, but don't ever assume to know someone else's journey.
@@mariapilarme and Dr Ramani does talk about being safe
You are so right Dr Ramani about the fear of being on your own - it is great and freeing and wonderful and i pity couples now and see women getting nervous about spending money in front of a partner and arguments and women looking nervous around a partner. Who wants that - being in control of your own life is the ultimate for a woman. Never ever underestimate freedom and how impactful that is - you will sleep better, eat better, have more time and choose how you live your life and do what you want.
The Post Separation abuse was brutal. I didn't have these tools but had God, process, therapy, and small step after small step. 7 years later, I am beyond grateful for pouring into me so I can live well now. The process may be terrifying but is WORTH IT. It really is!
Hope so. For the moment I fight against some sort of "legal octopus" put up against me by my Xnarc.
Unfortunately for me, he exploited narc-allies everywhere...
It's the intentional stuff that got me. No one believed me, even to this day, people say they "knew him, not him, he is so nice!" Yeah, well that's all an act.
In the beginning - It's like finding the most sincere kindest person in the whole wide world. They are nice and gentle. They are affectionate. They will cuddle you and hold you. A couple months in you will notice that they seem to lack in the intimacy department but you will dismiss that to shyness. They will mimic/mirror your style of communication & you the entire time (which goes unnoticed until they become distant with you & use new words). I learned that If you express intimate emotions they will say “I feel the same way for you too or I would do the same thing for you or I love you just as much or I'm glad to hear that.” Which feels insincere and robotic. However you might dismiss that to shyness or inexperience expressing feelings (even tho they could be gorgeous & clearly experienced with women).
They will never voluntarily just express their love for you in their own words and say how much they love or miss you. Very rarely will you get an “I miss you" or ” love you" for no reason at all. You will wonder why? Like do they have any feelings? So, you find yourself working harder to make them feel more safe & more loved in hope's that they provide that love back to you. It's easy to dismiss them withholding as a lack of trust or insecurity because they seem so nice. You will look for logic in behaviors and with Coverts there is never any logic which will lead your further down a rabbit hole creating confusion. In time you will start to doubt your own perception of what you see and lack the clarity to see the abuse. You will have more anxiety, lack inner peace & feel tired. Your physical appearance might change where you either gain or lose weight. You struggle to keep yourself at peace. Its exhausting. By now, you have became an expert at everything they like. You take on all the chores and make their life as easy as possible. You feel isolated too b/c they kept you “away". You feel so confused b/c you worked so hard to break down their walls in hopes of a more consistent close bond with them.
One day they seem really into you and the next they withhold affection. It's hard trying to figure out what is wrong. The more you vocalize your feelings the more they encourage you with their words that everything is ok. You certainly don't feel “ok" but you make peace with it the best you can and start “withholding” your feelings too b/c they have made you feel like your “too" sensitive and it's too much! Most of the time it will feel like they are present in the flesh but nothing else is going on inside them. Even after all this time you've been together you still feel like you don't really know them. If you happened to gain the courage at a later time to ask more questions as to why things still feel off they will say your being insecure & that they aren't cheating and make you feel like you have issues. If you cry they will watch tv, stare at their phone or even continue to eat dinner. They won't ever give you all their undivided attention & acknowledge your pain. Which makes you more confused bc their actions doesn't match their words. They won't look at you while you cry, they seem like it causes them shame to see you cry. At times you might feel like your having to teach them about feelings as if they were a child. You will wonder why their emotional intelligence seems very immature/off. Everything they have is something you also don't have access too. Their family, phone, friends, bank accounts, pay stubs, credit card statements, and etc. You will start off feeling like they are very private or insecure & years in it now feels like they are super secretive b/c it makes no sense for them to still be so private. They promise things that they don't see through or conveniently feel bad or forget everything that is important to you. They will isolate you and hide their relationship with you.
When you express that something about what they are doing isn't right then they act like they lack understanding and that they do nothing to hurt you. You will always be explaining everything and wondering why they just don't get it! They will even use apologies as a form of manipulation. (lack of empathy and no change to their behavior). You will always feel like you need to phone a friend to ask if your situation is normal because this person will give you $200 to pamper yourself but won't invite you to Christmas dinners or let you have access to their phone. They will leave/abandon/ghost you to say they are sleeping at a relative's house then on their way home they will offer to bring you breakfast or something from the store. Even their giving is a form of manipulation. They want to distract you with gifts to keep you off balanced from the emotional abuse they are putting you through. When you ask them why they didn't come home they will say they felt like you didn't want them around or etc. You will spend the entire relationship wondering how someone who seems like such a nice person can be so emotionally cold.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
It’s scary how accurate this is
@@katierosealexander8132I went through this as well.
WORD FOR WORD!!!
Thank God for opening my eyes🙌🏼
This person is a scammer. Beware
Demon hand, demon heart.
Scary that people like this walk among us….
There’s one in every grocery store line an ex-trooper told me after I escaped a psychopath
Yes, careful out there
I think that now that the informations are out there, kids and teenagers need to be educated about these people...
Learn to enjoy "the space between" be single ...know yourself and gather strength !!!
It suck at times but you love the Peace !!!
The peace 🕊️ is EVERYTHING to me !!!!
Sleeping with the enemy was a total eyeopener for me - brilliant at describing the narcissist!!!! Making you feel you are in the wrong and being punished and knowing it is not you but feeling trapped. That film is valuable and it is not about getting her back but the revenge and they love that revengeful bit as it gives them gratification whether it is running you down to relatives and their friends but above all it is a game to them of power and control and no one crosses them.
I slept with the enemy & escaped with my life after five years that became hell on earth. It’s so scary how cunning a psychopath can truly be in real life
I love that movie, it’s perfect explaining the narc at the same time it’s very scary.
I WAS a chronic giver.
Attracted all bad guys under the sun.
Had to learn...that my character was the culprit. And my looks, which people women/man said i look like an angel, a mairmaid, a flower, a xwz. The eyes...also gave a signal to others...that i was xwz.
Now i live as a seclude.
I had to...😢
Same here❤ too many evil predators out there...
I felt that last part so deeply. I don’t want to have to sell myself short just to “have friends”. I’ve been creating my safe space for myself for a bit now and I’m still reluctant to let others into it because they self deprecate and expect me “the one who has it all together” to coddle them through it. The “having it together” is a projection because I clearly voice my faults and Incapabilities, but they wave them off and I am over it. My mother did that a lot to me, called me strong and said “but you can handle these things” knowing I was just a child. It’s truly annoying to still find people who function from this place.
I can see now, that my father fit that description. Parents’ relationship had sadomasochistic characteristics. Very difficult to be empathic and grow up in their domestic abuse and the terror.
I truly hope this discussion will strengthen and liberate women in these situations and their offspring.
It pays to do the discovery and recovery work! ❤
Two wonderful women here, helping, helping, helping…in ways you can’t imagine. God bless you both. And THANK YOU FOR SAVING LIVES!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
In my experience with narcissistic abuse the resources to help aren't there. I've been lied about so much and gang bullied that no one would begin to listen to me and the narcissist is a fantastic actor. Over 40 years of this and my last counselor kicked me out of counseling telling me to go take lots of walks because my situation was too uncomfortable to listen to. I can't afford to go anywhere else and I'm tired of trying.
The reality is brutal and targets aren't really supported because there's no quick money in it.
I really appreciate all the information and it helps people realize that they're not crazy but realizing what you're truly dealing with is horrifying.
Solitude is priceless!
My former coworker is a dark pentagonoid. He made everything chaotic based on paranoia. As a result, all team members except him left the job. 🏃🏃♂💨💨
😢 Thank you Dr Ramani and Lisa. Dr Ramani expertise in this subject is remarkable! Listen to every word be ready and stay quite because they will damage you for live if you don't kill yourself due to the years of abuse! Strategize your get away. Stay focus...Stay calm...It's going to be HELL but we can do it! Love and light ❤
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
I am amazed at your strength and ability to learn from your trauma and move forward
THANKYOU for your service …. I’m 73 , I had a very abusive childhood and then as an adult two abusive relationships one right after another but I had no clue why , I do now and I can relate to much of what u say … THANKYOU it took all my life to learn how to have healthy boundaries and trust myself to keep them and I still struggle
Huge support to you
@@ametrineambrosia4929 🙏💖🥲thankyou
She is RIGHT about everything. I was with a Dark Triad for 1 year. He wanted to kill me and my family at the end but ended up killing himself after burning his house and car down. No shame in the verbal abuse. More like glee and then love bombing and apologies. I's only been 9 weeks since the event and I have to say a year to recovery is probably the least. The trauma from this is immense. It's a hard recovery but one necessary. I agree with Dr. Ramani about stopping the fetishization of being in "romantic" relationships. The idea of romance and partnership has been sold like a religion of it's own and there are so many people chasing this type of exalted reality and they sacrifice their own needs for it. I hope we continue to tell each other that we are worthy and precious and okay alone before more damage is done. I will keep recovering and work on my on self love and care.
0:35 dark triad
5:31 ultimate control
5:46 psychopathy
6:27 sadism
7:50 narc tactics to trap
11:24 therapy hoover
15:04 charismatic
15:30 slowly leaving
21:24 client fears
22:36 want them to stay terrible
24:41 whole
Need to add paranoia
I survived but it was hard and lasted over 20 years
Still dealing with projections from flying monkeys.
Family estrangement has the same flavor of post separation abuse. Really nice to put a name to it.
Very good to hear you warn people against physical involvement. Any honest decent person will be concerned about the true relationship. Not the physical.
They think because they lie everyone is lieing. Your right .
Projection/reversal, they use it a lot. If ever an abuser accuses you of cheating (and you are not), I will bet the farm he is cheating.
Once you crack 'the code', it becomes easy.
My ex was always in a great mood after he said or did something cruel or horrible to someone
Deliberately dismissive of hurting others feelings, they strategize causing you pain, very cold callous like a cold stone.
Exactly and mixing it with small amounts of sudden availability to cause confusion all over and keeping their object emotionally hooked.
I found my narcissist didn't come near when I broke contact - he could see he was losing hes effectiveness and the lack of empathy meant I never heard a thing again and he wanted a new victim he could control. I had worked him out so I was like rubbish - on to the next. Not all come after you and plague you - they have already tried to destroy you mentally so that is what they thirst for.
Exactly. My experience...he pursued ALOT in beginning..rentlessly; but making, one bad decision after the other & sometimes rendering EMPTY apologies. He finally sucked the life out of me..until I turned my back...by then, he had already engaged a new victim. After about 3yrs when he drained her, he reached back out to me. Horrific cycle. Always working an angle. Presenting a facade...NEVER intending to fulfill promises. (Pyschologically/spiritually BROKEN)
If I go back I will die
Same. He begged me to meet up with him in the most dramatic way. Then he changed his mind when he saw I’d hold my boundaries.
They’re 🥜s
@@Nicole-zr1meexact same thing
I’ve currently gotten out of a relationship like this, and have given myself a year to recover and learn from the experience. This totally validated my game plan. Thank you for this!
Yes. My ex was the malicious narc. He loved physically and mentally hurting. He giggled, smiled, laughed, sneered. All the accidents i was victim of, at first thinking he was so clumsy, then realizing he was doing it on purpose. He actually looked me right in the eyes when he hit my hand with a hammer. He was gleeful when he knew he hurt. I went no contact and moved far away. Cops told me to explain enough to my adult kids so they would never give my info no matter what he said, no matter how mad he got and to not fall for any kind of I need to see her or i need to talk to her or i need her info for someone else etc. its been seven years and so far i am safe. I know he wants revenge for me “taking all his money”. Which i did not even get half. So i am always aware of keeping safe. Everything you say is true of him. How did he hide it so long.
You may also have spotted such tactics as (either accidentally or in a fit of rage) breaking stuff. However, never their stuff, only ever YOUR stuff. Funny that. Even when they appear to rage, they are still in control.
Stay safe.
@@davinasquirrel7672 yes. Always mine. Also had junk dealer take all my things while I lay dying because “you are making me do everything while you watch tv. Thank god a friend came and got me and took me for medical help. He was waiting for me to die
Thank you for shedding light on how to identify these dangerous traits and for helping people find ways to escape or leave these situations safely. Maybe you can get a few sociological experts to interview how serial killers can operate in society. That would be interesting also.
I am living this. For a person from a healthy normal intelligent life when something like this happens it hits you between the eyes so badly because you are totally in the dark about a narcasists behaviours. Oh my word the roller coaster. I will end it next Feb. Planning my exit carefully
❤ wishing you all the best and success in leaving and building your new life!
Slow and carefully planned exit is the best strategy. I wish you all the best.
Once left, never fall for the "I've changed / I'll do better". Empty words to suck you back in.
@@davinasquirrel7672 I intend on getting a restrain
They ruin your reputation, get you fired, turn your friends and family against you, turn your children against you...they damage everyone and everything that matters most to you. They even mistreat your pets or boil your pet bunny like Glenn Closes' female vindictive character in that movie from the 80's or 90's...the name escapes me. She was a one night stand that stalked him and his family. Very threatening, very creepy.
Ugh, yes, so true and only those who have experienced it , know the depth of its wickedness.
Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🇯🇲🤲🙏😇👍❤️
Dr Ramani is my favorite she helped me save my life!
My post separation has been relentless. Two years and still not divorced. There's nothing here needs from me financially bc after he sucked the life out of me he is finally making more money and doing better than me finally so I'm no longer useful. However, he still sees it as a loss bc until i am totally destroyed he won't stop. He's back hoovering his ex wife and we had been together for 20 yrs - married.
This has got to start being seen as criminal. I hope it not in my lifetime at some point.
I dated someone for a couple of months who sounds just like the person you're speaking of. He recently died & had a graveside service. I don't believe anyone missed him. He was so evil until he brought out the dark side of me. He broke my little cheap necklace by pulling it off my neck. I tried to rearrange his whole body. I let him know he & nobody will touch me & get away without being bruised & beaten. He had to chase him away. I don't know why he thought I needed him. With all the men in the world why would I want to keep a piece of trash around?!!!
This is so enlightening...Just minutes in
Police alot of times do not help much. 😢
What do you do when your ex is the police? :(
you gotta be kidding me, i ve been watching the whole morning videos with Dr Ramani and you posting this now, wow
I had 10 years of post breakup abuse. It was more subtle and manipulative but really harmful. Also, he stole our child and then made up terribly damaging false smear campaigns with the school. Stopped all payments abruptly before he even did that, lost our apt. He moved to my neighborhood, then, and smeared me to whoever we knew prior, and anyone else who would listen. Most people did listen, oddly.
Right...I am most surprised by people believing it all, but it's the way they do it and they know what they're doing.
Oh yes, all of his collegues and friends think he is the most kind and funny man on earth. Funny how they never ask why I do not accompany him.
@@plsfoffI'm not surprised... look at how intelligent the general public is..... (crickets)
@@thedivinefeminine1821and many are 'fellows in the same spectrum'
This was pure gold, Thank you so much for this Lisa and DR Ramani, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and glory to the most high :-)
Your validation is much appreciated.
Thank you! I have seen hints of this in many of my family members, specifically the absentee or false empathy. The saddest part is no one would admit it or believe me!
😢
add addictions which make the behaviour much worst - sex addiction, alcoholism, drugs or all in one.
They are truly demonic! I’ve heard the snarl and witnessed this behavior and it’s definitely VERY frightening and mind boggling in the beginning until you regain yourself and see things from the outside 👹
Still mastering mine 35 yrs and counting, stay well everyone, you're stronger and better than them! 🎠👒
I grew up in this environment. My mother was a real life monster
🙏🏻Thanks,
Dr Ramani, & Lisa! 🕊🍃
I once read (recently) this the more your not conversating the more your leaving room for others to convesate.
I had a tracking device in my car for "safety" reasons. It was used to track me! I started to use a private vehicle which has no tracking device. My company cell phone was "fortunately" stolen. So I got my own phone and a new number.
The day he verbally abused me to my face while just centimetres away from it was the last time I saw him. He was beyond shocked when I simply laughed in his face and said, well, that WAS a mask slip, wasn’t it. He knew his time was up and never tried to hoover. He was already grooming his new supply anyway, so why waste energy on me.
Bravo
The support systems need to be everywhere.. and ways to be discreet...
My mother scores 5/5.
I'm sure she'll be pleased with 100% and tell everyone how she could have done much better
This is some really good insight and is just as applicable to getting out of a toxic workplace as a relationship.
I was conned by a narcissist partner in 2015…had I had access to all this information, maybe things would have been different. I didn’t know anything about narcissists back then. Today I realize I attract them because I was raised by them. Information is a life saver and paramount for an empaths survival in this cruel world
Dr. Ramni helped me understand why and how I got myself into a narcissist and abuse relationship as well as how to feel better after leaving ❤
Ok, I starred watching this one just out of curiosity, but the things she says in the second half are so true and important, that I actually want all my close friends and family to know.
Ive been in narcissistic relationships some time ago and hope to never get into anything like this in the future, and I wish you to happily avoid them as well. Thank you, dr. Ramani for all the deep knowledge you share
This is all great info. "Information is the most valuable commodity I know of... wouldn't you agree?" A quote from 'Gordon Gecko' in the original Wall Street movie. And reliable information is even better, I say. The stomach churning topic of narcissism - sociopathy - psychopathy etc is intriguing to say the least, however, as it relates to a couple decades ago or so, to remember the no cell phone era (or the very beginnings) back when these topics didn't pop up on U tube + podcasts ETC... when women, mothers were "in the dark" (for real) and being blindsided by terrifying experiences that they never heard of or anything they could wrap their minds around at all because maybe they were naive. Maybe simply clueless in the 70s/80s when AIDS was in pandemic form and we felt a need to stay with our current husband/mate no matter the situation. Lots of women had children with these malignant narcissists not having a clue what would happen to their lives. What about us? Do we need a bit different path to pursue in terms of therapy and healing? 💜
Men don't hold a monopoly on these character traits. In fact I see it more often in self entitled females. Yes I agree it has a great deal to do with the Internet age. We're being informed by outside sources of fear mongering information. What are your thoughts?
They will always save some of your belongings as a 'token'
I went back, to ironically stop the pain. It's the most painful thing you will do. To have to stand the disgusting cause of your pain, coz you're scared and know the kind of amplified pain they cause you once you leave 😢
I was born into a family of the dark triad. They all tried to kill me in various ways and over many years. All of them are dead now as a result of their own actions, drugs, drinking, car wrecks (DUI's), etc.
Stay safe i know how bad and ugly it can get 🙄🙄🙏🏼❤️
Evil is a strong word, but it's the right word.
I AM being harassed. I have been marginalized and need a support network. My computers, phones everything being controlled. Its a total outrage. Im in WNY on a reservation. How can I get true help.
Try to find a domestic violence program. You can call the police and ask what to do.
My ex-husband put private detective to flirt to me and I didn't so maybe that is why I am still alive
Paranoia is definitely in the mix! Menacing, charming, and dangerous!
I'm glad I'm single 😊.
I want love, but yeah I hear ya DEF not a crazy one.
The problem I have with the dark triad/tetrad is the tremendous overlap in the concepts. Can’t we narrow it down? It seems like there’s the minimum symptom narcissist who may not intentionally hurt people, has some emotion, not violent, but lacks empathy. Self-centered as all the dark tetrad all are. It’s actually on a continuum from the above to few emotions, pleasure in inducing pain in others, criminality.
A narcissist DO intentionally hurt their victim and one more thing: If they are loosing control over their victim they also could bee very dangerous AND violent- Trust me cause mine covert narcissist did get violent at the last month of our 10 years of toxic relationship when he understand that I had got my power back and got out of The fog. It was him or me = To Live or Die .. for me.
So I planned in secret for about 3 month and then I escaped and move out one day with help with 2 near friends of mine, when he was at his work for a couple of hours. Living in secret in s camping for about 4 month until I finally got my own flat out in the country and about 1 mile from the town. I'm still living here and I left him for about 11 1/2 year ago.
When i left him in april 2014 he already has his next mistress since about a 4-5 month I think and he always all 10 years has a couple of those constantly at the same time - which I didn't know (of course) but has discoverd those latest years of our time together. Finally I woken up from the fog and also had started to educated me in what a NPD was etc. He felt really threatend of me and he leveled up to also did voilence to me and to punching me. In that situation I understand that if I don't leave him now I was gonna to die...
Well I survived but he did his smearcampaign well all those years after and even tried to hoover me (when he find me later after his new partner had left him after about 2-3 years) but I was stronger than him and I got totally NC after that.
Last February 2023 he died abrupt. Alone in his flat in multiple diagnosis of his alcoholism - only 55 years old. He was alone in that moment even if he had a couple of partners who everyone thought they where The One and Only. That was his destiny.
Me? Living in peace and calm and I felt reliefed when he died cause he could not harm anyone no more. The supply and Flying Monkeys still belive him and his smearcampaign but I don't care cause I know the truth and I'm gratefull for that I survive that experiences that I never ever wanted to bee in and never again I'm gonna to trust a partner so much that much. I was totally blind and in a fog cause of his manipulation and lies. Now I can see all those Red Flags very quickly at other people and stop my self from being their partner or friend. It's so sad to say but there are many sick people out there in the world - so it's gonna take long time if I ever wanna to engage me again with someone.
But. I'm only 65 year and Some Day I might meet a good person. I don't know and I'm not searching active I can tell You. Better alone in my own company than in a Devils company is my motto for now!
It's because not all people have very high levels of all of the triad/tetrad. For example, some psychopaths are not sadistic at all, they just don't care who gets in their way, whereas others enjoy causing pain and suffering. All psychopaths lack empathy but not all are sadistic.
Or another example would be a narcissist who is more attention seeking, heated energy and grandiose, whereby all they care about is validation and supply. They might not be machiavellian, seeking power at all costs and control over their life by any means necessary, strategic and manipulative.
I think a lot of "narcissists" identified by "victims" on the internet are dark triad/tetrad
But really who cares about their continuum. We don’t deserve to be mangled and mauled.
More Dr. Ramani, please!😇
Amazing information thank you 🙏
I think they make big, risky decisions because they don’t have the capacity for thinking of the consequences. They are going to blame someone else when it fails anyway.
The ex (my children’s father) is like this. An empty, shell of a person that everyone would love when he turns on his thing. My therapist told me of the damage done to us being around someone that’s shameless.
His favorite phrase is “sucks to be you.”
I ve seen Dirty John on Netflix with Eric Bana ! What a movie !😮 💔
Love Dirty John on Netflix, saw it several times, and its true story
They'll destroy your belongings too. It's not accidental
What if you've got no one.
This is the driving energy in cancel culture in America and we are all paying for this in more ways than one. I think our tax money can be better spent then paying these people to target Americans.
“The story was to depict how Deborah was foolish” this is the hardest part of this. You’re dealing with someone who has convinced as many people as possible to like and defend them, and alllllll the awful people who fall for it end up attacking the victim instead of actually paying attention or listening. So frustrating. The evil people who reinforce the narcissist’s behavior are worse than the narcissist imho. It’d be so much more manageable if people didn’t have to be CONVINCED not to feel superior to the victim in order to… not even help the victim, just not make it worse.
Seems like this world/society is turning darker and darker. I hate to be a pessimist, but it's true. Sadly :(
And you might be scared of the fact that you're just beginning to get a "Glimpse Of The Madman Across The Water" and now realizing what extent the children are at risk too. And it's 2004 and you and your children have been left for dead by your husband - the father of your children in a big house permeated with actively concealed toxic mold by the previous homeowners. And the malignant narcissist has already manipulated your finances, your intuitions and essentially everything you'd ever worked for. And says: "I can't afford to get sick" I'm out." Leaving mom and children to possibly die. "Thumb drive" ?? No - no, we had nothing like that. The damage was done before it ever started. We are SURVIVORS via a divine force working just for US!!! (Good news is he's dead now)
💜♥️💜♥️💜
Diddy... Dark Triad at its BEST.
Superficially intelligent, that's it.
They also have some kind of fake flair.
My mother.
As a therapist sure you cant puppetize. That said you need peers in session to help point the way to strength., if anyone is trying to control manipulate, maneuver its wrong
Getting out is a mine field but staying isn't viable to live.
I believe women need their own bank accounts, and a way out of any relationship. Own home, duplex etc. Try to prevent vulnerability. Its very nasty out there. We cannot just blindly trust...
I really dislike when things are made gender specific. I'm talking about the title." If he's charming". As a man who has suffered at the abuse of a evil female, it makes me feel like everyone generalizes NPD as being men..
I feel you, friend. My mother was so evil, she made the most evil "demon" cringe; I sensed that. Not joking.
How do you turn a restraining order into a permanent one?
My mother explained to the T.
Thank you
I would love her thoughts on Wade Wilson
These a$$&@/$ move fast and mimic whatever you say you want or are yourself. That is the number one red flag. I married someone like this. My life was ruined in every way. I can only thank God for saving me from him not killing me.
Very very nice ji dr ji superb thanks ji
I like the content of this channel and watch it from time to time and although I understand this channel is mostly oriented towards women I myself am a guy who has met many women with strong to extreme narcissistic tendencies and there may be lesbians who may have the same problem. I do wish this issue would be addressed as well ...women with these undesirable tendencies. I have not found anything for men like myself dealing with the sort of issues discussed here in women I have encountered. considering the vastness of women with those traits I do wonder if the problem lies deeper than psychological character analysis, which I do believe is valuable, but maybe there's a fundamental issue in the general paradigm of our time that creates these problems ... and of course I wish I - as a man facing the same issues as many women - also had a place to got to.
All u mention ,ive endured past a decade from many ill people.im not reversing for an#one.
Why can't "She" be a dark triad? Why only "He"?
Oh “she” can for sure!!! Statistically though men are way more likely. But definitely don’t think women are saints so thank you for being transparent and saying this.
What to do if you have a dark triad ex who is stalking and threatening you? Mine is threatening to kill my other ex who i had to run back to bc of the new exes extreme abuse.. the new one is Soo jealous of the old one, and blames him for all our problems even tho the new one was every bit of abusive you could be.. especially verbally.. because of my codependence and his love bombing I was foolish enough to tell him where I'm going to be moving to.. But then quickly realized what a big mistake that was.. Now I'm afraid he's going to stalk me there and do something to hurt my other ex's who has been protecting me.. I'm legit kinda scared for my ex bc of how much hate the new one had for him for providing me a safe space to recover..
This is bad advice. Nobody helps you when you need help, i called everyone and nobody help me. You just quietly leave without even tell him.
A lot of people don't know how to help, and/or are dealing with their own issues. That's why education is necessary. Learn and take action.
What are the reviews of the Dirty John movie ? Curious if it is recommended by those who have viewed, thx 4 sharing