Leaving The Female Narcissist 2 Reasons Men Can’t Let Go
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
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I’m stuck in the same situation. And being a guy, you get absolutely NO sympathy. Everyone blames you, and they even claim you’re weak or even less of a man. You learn fast who your real friends are.
This was me last year.
I’m going through the same thing my own parents have taken his side over mine. It’s okay sometimes it’s better to just be single and alone we’ve all been hurt and now it’s time for healing without all the drama and bs.
Who else can be blamed if you allow the person to take you over?
Been there myself. Stay strong, man.
From experience so many people cannot compute that little miss perfection, vulnerability and loving to the vulnerable is behind the mask hitler - I couldn’t believe it myself
When I first got together with the female narc I had never felt so validated and confirmed. All I had to do was breath and she told me I was amazing. She did warn me in subtle ways that she had another side. Eighteen months later she was nothing more than an insane bickering demented five year old in an adult’s body. I got out, but the recovery is long.
Lindsay Rowlands That's exactly what they all are. Demented, emotionally children pre-school kids in an adult's body. Paired with a reptilian brain. No self-respecting, mature adult would act the way they do.
Kudos to you for getting out! Stay strong. The recovery gets easier. Surround yourself with genuinely caring people and get involved in activities. All the best to you!
DATING HARLEY QUINN Wow...insane!
They truely are F*d up individuals =/
@beensey boy child in man old in Manipulating demon.
The narc will only leave easily when they have someone else lined up.
YES
Which are you kidding me they always have people back up waiting to get in.
@@kjc1878 truth
Ain’t that the truth
Yep
Well guys I finally did it I left my Narc just now Michelle This video inspired me . I know I'm in for a world of hurt but the healing starts now
TheWhisperTexan congratz now comes the aftereffects. Good luck.
Go watch Trent Sheltons new video titled How to Move Through Pain it’s AMAZING!!!
Thank you so much Mary, Trent is amazing I subed to his channel
I know I will be OK soon Thank you :)
Thank You Andreas I needed to hear that
Good decision
My dad is married to my Narc mother, and it is so sad to see them interact now that I'm a grown adult. She constantly puts him down, to the point where he now just puts himself down. He has such a lowered self esteem. When she yells, he does nothing. He makes excuses for her and takes the blame. I love my dad, but I wish he could see this.
Caitlin Peters They will use abuse and manipulation to affect the victim's self esteem. They do this because they have no self esteem, no value, they feel worthless, insecure and have an inferiority complex. This creates hate, anger and envy within them. They can't treat anyone right because of how they feel within.
Caitlin Peters. I haven't seen my dad in 8 year's now caz of his girlfriend he's been with 35 year's she has all say of him 😢
Marilyn Monroe Narcissists get in the way of your relationships, friendships, career, finances. They sabotage it all with their toxicity.
U r intelligent.
@Kakashi Hatake Unfortunately these 2 saying ring so true: Love is blind, and, none so blind as those who do not want to see.
Even writing it in Braille doesn't always help.
My son has been in a relationship with a narcissist and I saw through her right away. She’s very petite and drop dead gorgeous and she showed her extreme vanity right away, making it super obvious how much she values her looks and tries to come across as sweet by complimenting other excessively on solely on appearance. She would constantly tell me how pretty I am, which is also a way of fishing for compliments. Anyway…she’s been tearing him apart because she’ll all of a sudden turn on him, accuse him of some irrational bull crap and then break up with him, only to come back a day or two later and he takes the bait because he’s addicted to her sexually, etc. Yesterday he came to me in tears because she had picked him up and while she was driving, tore into him with the most vicious verbal abuse….hitting on all of his deepest insecurities and telling him he’s a loser, a bad father, etc and then actually slapping and punching him in the face. She really got under his skin and cut him so deeply that he was feeling like what she said was all true. That’s a level of evil that I can’t believe happened to him and really devastated him. He said he’s blocked her number and that he’s finally done and I’m just praying that he sticks to it because I fear for his safety if he sees her again.
Sounds like what I went through. How is he doing now?
This hurt so much to read.... Mine hasn't come back.... But she did all of that to me before she left.... I really hope your son is okay, I know how hard it's gonna be for him but with your support I'm sure he'll feel loved enough to see thru her like I saw thru mine at the end ❤️ I really wish him luck healing and staying away from her
People like that blame their partner for their own temptations and weakness. They feel that they are only tempted by someone else because their partner is "letting them down" or "not good enough". They cannot take responsibility because they are perfect, within their own mind, regardless of what they say.
I hope he stays away. He's gotta know there's a better life
They never want people to feel like they matter, there is something wrong with them
“Stay in the present & focus on reality”
Every guy should watch this everyday!!!
💯 percent correct
look up rollo tomassi podcast ..that will change your world and thank me later
.... ok bud
Damn this is so true. I'm transitioning out of a narc relationship. She put me on a pedestal, comforted me in my darkest times, turned me against my own family, needed my help, called the cops on me, Cheated on me, blamed it on me etc. It destroyed my self esteem and faith in ever having a decent relationship.🤐😣😨😰🤮😔
Same thing here bro... Cops called and the rest is history... Exactly what you explained. Hopefully she's not pregnant... I'm waiting for that call next..
My brother is living in the Narcissists nightmare world. I feel so bad for him. I can’t understand why he won’t leave. She chews him out daily right in front of everyone. She cannot control her emotions. She is emotionally unstable. I believe she is demonically influenced. Trying to talk her out of attacking my brother only gets me yelled at.
Any advice for me on how to put up with a Narcissistic sister in law when she attacks me for trying to calm her down during one her episodes?
Are you away from her now? Sounds like my current situation.
They are about as evil as u can get
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
They say " Your a man, you shouldn't feel hurt". That really screws with your head in so many ways..
That’s sad!
She called me an actor when I expressed feelings. People suck.
Yes, it does
They pull malicious stories out of their hurts.
I was told by her daughter to be a man and suck it up. Her speaking to me like that was the last straw. The best part is my narc ex kicked me out. Then realized she fucked up because I paid all the bills! 😆 🤣 😂 😹 I didn't know she was a narcissist until recently. I thought she just had mental problems.
@@Jason-gt6ko holy shit, Jason.
Even when things were going good with my ex narc girlfriend, I knew in the back of mind, the minute she gets angry about even the simplest thing or over an assumption in her head, then all hell comes my way. I’ve been walking on eggshells for ten months with this girl. She has gotten me out of my own character and it’s just too much stress every other day no matter what day, Monday, Tuesday, Christmas my birthday etc. Many bad times with her more than all my other relationships combined. I should start a channel and tell about my experiences. All terrible.
Hopefully you blocked all contact from her and moved on.
The main thing they are prone to do is either contact you after a silent treatment OR show pics of themselves on social media (hoping you see them and want you to believe the facade of them having the good life which is a blatant lie) to lure you back in (even send you nudies or P pics to your phone ) They are desperate for attention to sick you back in their wicked toxic web only to dog you again and again each time being worse than the last.
Same man! Even thought of starting a channel myself so others or there can know what to expect. But no... I just want to move on with my life and put this book away.
Please start a channel about your experiences. Men need this info just as much as women do!!
Okay I’d literally get upset at the fact that my ex would always disagree with me just to have power and control. Then he’d say, “idk why you’re getting upset over such small things” I also like my house to be clean and not have to clean up after him all the time, I’d even have to do his own dishes. Am I crazy or do I just respect others to not be selfish and clean up after themselves? 🤷♀️ The sad thing is that he’d clean his own dishes at his house so why not clean his dishes at my house? Got so sick of being his mother so now im single and plan on staying that way. I really wish that some men and woman would stop being babies and start working on themselves
@@mariahconklin4150 I don't know, I've seen other comments from you. I remember your name from other videos. When you read between the lines of your comments, you come off as the narc or BPD. You seem to twist things and project onto your partners. I could be wrong, but I don't think your exes were the problem. Your line of thinking seems to be precisely what we are fighting against. Don't want to offend, but something is just off from your end.
Spot on. They bring you into their world. Then use all your weaknesses against you.
They play the victim when you leave, and promise to never do it again, but of course they do it again and worse.
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
She went from calling the police on me to begging on her knee for me to stay
Perfectly described, especially "they do it again and worse" lol.
Been there and glad I wasn't deeply in love with her. Many women can be thankful that emotional abuse is no crime.
Worst feeling in the world and the lowest form of humanity !.
The pain from the experience is really hard to explain to someone who has never been in a relationship like this .....but the pain and the affects are real !!.
Hi Alan. I hope you've come out ok. I'm just starting on that path. It's 3 months now and feels just as painful as it did when I left her. It's really weird. I know she's abusive and bad for me but my emotions aren't in sync with my logical brain.
Deepest pain I've ever felt.
It's because we loved them and they made us feel like some terrible man that was abusive to them. They made us feel like we were the very thing we strived not to be. They condemned us for being the very thing they were to us.
Be prepared for everything when you leave a Female Narc the nuts and bolts of their mind can't handle rejection. Things like faking pregnancy, abortion and even suicide attempts can run deep in your emotional loop. Remember what they do is on them. Walk away and stay away if she truly has cause to contact you (IE pregnancy) it will be an outside 3rd party that will advise you. Your job is to treat your wounds come closer to higher power and do good things in the world. Never forget you are important.
Holy shit, I think my ex in japan faked a pregnancy to not only try and trap me but get like $1000 for the abortion, she was getting very insecure that i was going to leave her, she has very low self esteem and thinks she's ugly.
she told me this shit a day before i had to fly home, i ended up in hospital completely mangled from the stress of it all...
she finally discarded me 2 months ago and instantly put a new profile pic with a new dude, blocked me..
Paul Lelacqua_sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder but I’m not a psychologist. BPD people I think do show high narc traits though as far as I have researched.
@@yeahtbh.161 you are lucky my friend. At least you could leave quickly I lost over 300K and 8 years of my life
@@pablolewinsky867 It wasn't quickly bro, I went to japan 9 times over 4 years for her and spent a lot lol
My ex narc would instantaneously stop projecting and playing the victim as soon as I started recording with my cellphone. The personality shift was so incredible.
they know what they are doing is wrong but still want you to deal with it because that means you "really love them"... its sick and demonic
Sadly the best way to fight people like this is to keep a record of it all. Especially because narcs who won't give up will take you to court if you don't.
Well, sad but true. I've lived this. I never understood what was happening to me. I just lost myself. Breaking free after ten years. Healing is super hard. You don't realize all the damage.
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
Sounds like an addiction to someone who hurts you.
It is. It's a dopamine addiction and they know just how to manipulate men to flood their brains with it. Then they take it away and starve them, then give them a rush of it again. It's called intermittent reinforcement and it's the most powerful form of mind control and highly addictive.
Yep. Like Karen P said. Trauma bonding is another term for the tactics that bring about the addiction. Intended to induce chemical spurts of "high" and "low" chemicals in the brain ... essentially mimicking a drug addiction (for example). So, yep, its an addiction to someone who hurts you 👍
@RKELLYSCOCO You're welcome....you can't just try it though. It takes a bit more effort than that and the waste of energy in exchange for the amount of fuel you'll gain may not be worth it but with enough practice maybe. You are all so lazy I'm surprised you even waste energy on this stuff. Must be exhausting.
Narcs are drug pushers, it's the same pattern.
Stockholm syndrome
After 18 years this is it. I knew she was sick but could never figure it out. The lies the never owning any of the things she would say or do. I was the blame for everything. I would address my feelings, it was like talking to a brick wall. She finally up and left me and my kids and of course she said that it was because I kicked her out. My oldest son told me he overheard her speaking with her mother about having her room ready months in advance. She picked the perfect time to go. I have started the no contact. I do care for her. But enough is enough. I will not subject my children and myself to this any more. Please pray for us... thanks
how you doing now ?
Any psychologist specializing in NPD and SPD will tell you they are just incurabIe predators looking for accessories and sycophants to prop up their souless egos. Really just lizard brained. Outlive your usefulness with NPD, you are discarded like soiled TP. Outlive your usefulness with a total control freak perpetually FTW angryvSociopath and you are just another of millions of " permanently missing persons. Real Life is not Disneyland. That's why Disneyland is so popular an escape from real life.
Never put yourself in a position that allows a narcissist to have complete and total control. All of your relationships they've destroyed along the way has been in preparation for this one single moment. To have you isolated, helpless and codependent on them. You were unknowingly doomed from the start.
I just had my revenge on my ex girlfriend narcisist.
She gave me so much pain she gaslight me,destabilized me,devalued me,lied all the time,cheated on me,pretending after few months to be still available for her after she ia been with other 5 guys after me just for sex. Then she shown up pretending to give me the same treatment but me,tired of that shit i showed to her the photo of my current girlfriend.
For her i had to be alone crying on myself waiting for her even if i tried so hard to go back with her but i have been discarded and punished with silence so many times.... enough is enough gents..now is time to heal!!
Yes! Get after it brother!
Haha, awesome bro. I've had too many chances for revenge, and wasnt mentally ready. Feel for the hope she could prove anything she ever told me was true and she never could. Now that I'm past the pain of the deceit, and finally found closer in myself since along w truth, closer was another underapreciated common respect she was incapable of. I wanted revenge, and I believe I've gotten the best there is by being happy, without her effecting any aspect of my life other than a few months o] my life I wouldn't go back to if I was paid,.. congrats on the new girl, and the revenge!! Respect!!
Thanks!!
My friend suggested i watch this video as I just broke up with my ex and haven’t eaten properly in 2 weeks/been thinking dark thoughts - never did I ever think I’d feel this way about losing another human beings presence. After watching this video I’m sitting now on my seat stunned. Every. Single. Thing. I can’t believe it.
It’s witchcraft bro.. that’s the only thing I can bring it down to.. nothing else could have this kind of effect on a person.. in every way.. weather they know it or not.. their aim is to destroy you. A very evil spirit behind it all.
@@gerardchristensen2386 100%. stay strong king. I got through it and better for it. You can too.
Stay strong bro. My very attractive narcissist gf just told me tonight that we need time. And that the time is for me to think about the relationship n that she would wait for me. Yeah, right. She is very attractive, she has a lot of guys around her, so I know more than likely she found someone new. I'm ok, knowing she can't be fixed I'm OK letting her go. BTW I have a whole library of sex vids with her, you know for memories. 😅😂
I was married to a narcissist for years. I did everything right (I feel). I was honest, loving, kind, generous, all for nothing. Yes, I was used. Ok I accept it. Live and learn. On to the next chapter. One day she will be someone else's problem.
lol no woman wants that.
You people are very smart! I stayed with mine for 45 years. I feel so ignorant and stupid. But she would often tell me that I was a narcissist. I worked 7 days a week for 40 years and the only thing that I have to show for it is 2 wonderful children.
Thanks for holding women accountable.
Wow you hit this one out of the park! Thank you for helping people like myself to keep focused in the here and now.
Ggt
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
So spot on, my ex narc promised to go to counseling and get hello for her "anger" issues. Then proceeded to go and completely project her actions as if they were my behavior and convince her therapist, and me, that I was actually a narcissist. Finally getting to a place where I'm on the outside looking in and not reacting to her behavior makes me feel so idiotic for allowing it in the first place. It's a long agonizing road I struggle with every day
Shitty councelors cause mor harm than good. She knew the councelor was a dolt and it fit her agenda perfect.
You have just described my ex perfectly. The worst part is trying to talk to people about what you're going through and not being believed because of the idea that "women are always the victim, never the instigator".
Thank you, Michele! Ever since I got discarded, your videos have helped me understand just who it was I was in love with...now I just need to overcome the sense of loss, and accept the fact that even as she lovebombs the person she cheated on me with, it's not real, the problem isn't with me, but in who SHE is, and that the discard is the best thing that could've happened to me
I hope you’re doing well now. (Comment was from 2 years ago). :)
I’ve just been discarded and I’m in pieces. I’m stuck believing we could’ve had our happily ever after. I suspected she was a narcissist this video has made it a certainty. I learnt a lot about this subject from stories of her ex who was also an NPD and the two had a volatile 8 year ‘relationship’. I’m sure she’s back with him tonight. Good luck to them both they deserve each other!!
@@littletraveller5428 exactly; good riddance to bad rubbish
"My body never felt such pleasure, my heart never felt such pain, and you, you leave me so confused". - Lisa Lisa
Cult jam?
The biggest thing I struggle with is how all the people in my life believe her and it's very lonely, even more so than the normal loneliness. I'm the bad guy even though I'm not. Friends and family that I thought would stick by me believe her lies. I've lost so much in this but I've gained my peace and I'm very slowly recovering my self-worth.
Absolutely 100% true. Its like you know her. So very scary. I'm freaked.
You are 100% accurate! 4 years of the best and ended the worst. She's not normal.
I stayed because I didn’t want to leave our child alone in that environment 18yrs it isolated me and just about destroyed me!
I am wishing you all the best. Hope you'll take the time to recover
Yh I know that story Robert 22 years for me. It wasnt until afterwards and I was a few months out of the relationship and analysing it in the cold light of day I even realised what had really happened over the years. Living with a covert narc destroyed me totally. I just wish she'd left 20 years ago.
As usual Michelle, exactly right on every point. In the love bombing and hot phases, things were like a dream! The clouds parted and showed me a glimpse of heaven. But that changed. It always changes. She blows cold, disappears, and falls off the face of the planet. I hang on hoping things go back to the way they used to be. Hoping I'll be the exception. Hoping I can save her. Hoping I can guide her to silencing the voices insidr that tell her shes broken. Well, no more. I've taken back control. I deserve so much better than what she gives me. I deserve someone who NEVER stops choosing me. Someone who loves me as a person.
It's the hope that keeps you going and the time and emotion you've already invested. Leaving is just cutting your losses because she will never change. The heaven you saw was all a fake show. You were in love with a fantasy. Stay strong. Go no contact.
Karen P. Thanks for your reply Karen. I think you're absolutely right. There comes a point where you have to cut your losses. The hardest thing to understand and admit was that none of it was real. It really is soul shattering. To think all of the "intimate" moments that seemes so close and genuine were bullshit. And I've always been one to keep my cards close and remain guarded....but not with her. I opened up and let her in completely for some reason. Of course, I guess my situation isn't unique in that aspect. Thank you.
It has taken my husband a long time to realize it was fake too and he is still not fully convinced on all counts. What is obvious to me is not obvious to him. Like the other men who were obviously giving her money.....he still isn't sure they were, even though she doesn't work full time and always had new furniture, new decor, new clothes, name brand everything etc. He knows he wasn't paying for it all and he knows she couldn't afford it but he can't bring himself to believe someone else was paying for it. I called bullshit on her the first time he told me about his "new friend." I told him to quit associating with her because she was a con artist. He didn't believe it and took his "friendship" underground for another year and a half. I don't know why he didn't see it except for the fact that he was raised by a narcissist asshole and so he trusted her and felt comfortable with her. Perhaps you have some old childhood issues that caused you to be blind so don't be too hard on yourself. Also, look up dopamine addiction and intermittent reinforcement. It will show you why the relationship is so addictive.
Karen P., thanks so much. I will do just that. Yeah, I've come to realize since all of this happened, I have codependancy and boundary issues. That's probably the biggest reason I didn't heed the red flags and stand up for myself. But one thing is certain, I am stronger and wiser today because of it. Never again! Thanks again.
@@Chris-0113 I'm a very strong minded individual and have emotional discipline but she did convince me for a lil bit that she might've been the one because what she did for me no other woman really had done. She definitely gave me a piece of fake heaven but that's until I caught on to her subtle hints of really bad narcissism and started to piece everything together over a couple weeks. I can say that I wasnt completely compliant with her I always challenged her(kept a masculine frame)and she definitely didnt like it. I also was the one to break up with her for good without being immature and cussing her out. I left on a mature note and told her not to ever contact me again. The only thing that does still get me is how evil and fucked up a human can be,the very Intimate moments and the very passionate sex we would have to the point where she would like into my eyes like straight into my soul. She would tell me I love you and say I'd never do you wrong with a straight cold face. That's pure evil,a demon.
I haven't seen anyone, that totally gets it, when it comes to relationships with a narcissist, like Michele does. She has, and is a gift.
What else keeps men there is knowing the emotional and mental torture he will have to endure for leaving. The female narc will often harass him back into a screwed up arrangement just to keep him in her sphere.
She really is a gypsy curse that has to be passed on to someone else.
This is spot on! Exactly what happened to me. I met the most understanding, fun, cool woman, who fulfilled every sexual fantasy I ever had… but that was just the hook, then came the devaluing, then the discard.
Same
Okay 2 months post discard, and it has hurt every single day. The best advice I have for getting through it is not to use reason to help you but rather, emotion. Reason is powerless to change an emotional bond; the heart wants what the heart wants! The solution is to use a contrary emotion to counteract your paradoxical desire for the narcissist. That emotion is the fear that they will hurt you or your family far more if you let them back in to your life. They may ruin you financially, or legally, they may slander you, accuse you of abuse etc. Narcissists don't have empathy and they want to hurt you, as such they are people who ought to be feared. That fear will be your salvation from the trauma bond!
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
@@redpillman2582 He is okay for general advice, but dealing with female narcs is something else.
I've heard this 'hook' story from women also. In two stories the switch occurred during the honeymoon. In others on their first time away together. It is a bit frightening to know that a narc can hold this facade for a very long time, even tricking your family into thinking they are great.
Just want to wish all the men in here to stay strong, i am currently going through healing process after my wife cheated me 1 year in to marriage and 5 years together.
If it wasn't for these video i would probably heal 10 times slower as i would of been lost without answers and probably break my wife and her new supply's neck.
We become wiser, stronger, and also we see our dark side so one day perhaps we meet the right person and we will be a better people as well.
Get red pilled...learn about from evolution derived polygamy and hypergamy
I’m sorry. I know the pain all too well 15 year. Relationship. Cheated on called everything under the sun. They tend to go places and take arguments to levels that were previously thought impossible. She’s said things to me that I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy. Soon as we give them their way it’s all great and better. For now.....
I'm breakin down right now... you don't know how much I needed this video... Thank you
Be yourself, be careful. Jezebel's spirit addicted indoctrinated intoxicated kleptomaniac egocentric selfish cunning Deceitful Manipulating personality disorder.
It gets better over time!!!
Stay up king 👑
Chin up guy. Dust that shit off and keep moving forward.
Stay strong my friend
My ex narc did the bait and switch! She adored me and made me feel like a man. She was so appreciative to the smallest gestures . A few mons down the line over a small disagreement where logic was applied vs her emotions and that’s when I saw the “other side”. Things went downhill with such disrespect I couldn’t believe it was the same woman I had met. Half hearted apologies and hurtful words thrown my way. Once I realized what was going on I left her! So glad I did.
Everything you have been saying has been exactly what happened in my last relationship. It is so gratifying and confirming to hear that I wasn’t the Narcissist she claimed me to be. Thank you!
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
OMG...you are just telling my 4 years story with my still wife. we split 1 year ago...I feel sad knowing all this but at the same time i feel good knowing there's people who understands what you're going thru with this kind of people...I though she was going to finish with my life, for a while I lost hope, but I'm trying to recover now!...thanks
I love this video. You're right. We hang around trying to get back to the past or promises of a potential future. Focus on today's reality, and notice the patterns.
Absolute complete truth I couldn't understand why I was doing what I was doing. Always said I was in love with her potential I'm in complete awe.
I have watched a lot of Narc videos after being destroyed by one. This is the most useful I heard and that is stay in the present to make your decisions. Thank you so much.
Thank you. I’m 7 years recovering from destruction
its like they use you and get a kick out of the discard stages to see you get frustrated, ahhh its horrible dealing with these people.
You got that right, they like to laugh at us when we fall to them p
Michelle you really hit the nail on the head with this video. I was that fish nibbling on the bait and then after I was caught, the abuse started. Initially with indifference, and then little digs with a half smile (as if to say "just kidding"), and then full on abuse using everything I told her in trust and love about me to then make my life a living hell. I was in shock (and paralyzed) frankly by how radically different (ALL about her), cruel and attacking she became versus the kind, supportive, and loving person I thought I knew and joyfully planned to spend the rest of my life with. I've seen a number of your videos and recommended them to others dealing with the same issues. Keep doing what you are doing...its important work that saves lives and it helps folks begin to understand they are not crazy, but got involved with someone who might be but certainly they are people who cultivate crazy as part of their method of abuse.
amazingly spot on. I wanted to help this poor girl so badly.. we had everything we ever wanted.
Its been a few years, and I still feel the effects of a relationship I had with a narcissist. It wasn't until today, with watching this video, that I started to feel something change inside of me. I truly feel the empathy I have needed to feel for so long now. Thank you for this video 🙏🏻
Yes! They will "bait" you time and time again! She will abuse you, when you want to walk away, she will pursue you with niceness to lure you in again. Crazy cycle!!
Vhikai Mupudzi I got emotionally,mentally destroyed finally recovering
They say "the narc is the most loving when you have one foot out the door".
I've been stuck in this pattern for 20 years, but I was so screwed up from childhood trauma and abuse that I was in complete denial. All I knew is I felt desperately lonely, afraid, and had negative self-esteem. I knew she wasn't quite cutting it as a partner but I just kept blaming myself.
You can't believe a word the narc says strictly look at her actions and you can see where she's coming from this lady is right on!
You nail it.
I spent 25 years with one. The first 3 were fantastic... bait. She moved in with me, and the the romance was OVER.
I kicked her out after another 3 years, but she always reeled me in... got me to fix and make things for her, constantly.
Intimacy got weird by year 22... I cut it off because I could finally see how I was being played.
It's been 8 years since I've seen her, and I'm finding myself doing things she trained me to do, and feel.
Consciousness is a beautiful thing... I'm free at last.
You have totally described what I have gone through. I lived with this false hope that things will improve or get better. It never does.
And it never will. Hope is what they keep you in even though they know THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO HOPE FOR.
2 months since I stopped chasing her and stopped accepting her abuse and I’m losing my mind now, literally. She’s truly the best con artist in this world. She’s accomplished to destroy me, she knows how to put a spell on any person by the tone of her voice, smile, etc. I can’t even describe, this person is from some kind of historic witch tribe and has something different in her core. I’ve never believed in spells or witchcraft until this shit. I’ll never insert myself in anyone again. (Is how I feel right now). I keep having flashbacks every day after a period of doing ok, she’s literally a hollow shell who is only able to respond with anger and hatred now so I stopped trying to get closure. She was able to undo 3 years of being together with a snap of her finger. It’s absolute insanity and she’s even already going out to clubs meeting new guys. I just can’t grasp the reality of this
Yes that's some messed up painful b.s . I know exactly what you mean . Her karma will come an she'll wish she kept you around.
She was talking to guys before it was all the way done, and banging inside a few weeks. SMH
I hear you brother, your description of her as being a hollowed out shell full of anger just about sums up the woman who discarded me 6 weeks ago, maybe not the hatred part but more contempt and disdain for me. I think she was more BPD than a full blown narcissist. A soul destroying experience. Feel like I wasted 2 years of my life on a mind f**k. It was all an illusion.
The biggest problem is how we try to make sense of it all.. but the reality is that there is no sense.. just plain satanic.. evil..
@@faddy24 I've been the same with the current off and on (definitely cluster b) gf....they are basically giving you the gf experience and even if they are dating WAY up they have absolutely no problem walking away at a moment notice....if any.....first time she just one day said she had a plane ticket to Wyoming. The second time she decided in the middle of the night she's going back to Tennessee, and somehow magically had a ride there (fron PA!!) in less than 24 hours.
Both times things were going just great or so I thought
It's a disheartening and most dangerous thing ever happened to me.. at first she acted to be everything I needed, very loving and caring., All of a sudden, She changes color. I did everything possible to get back those loving moments back but in return I got hurt and she's about to freaking destroy me. Very very evil. Thank God I'm done with her. Demon jezebel bring back my heart💔😟😤
I just woke up and seen this video. I listened to it and this woman pretty much word for word described my relationship. It's never going to change. It's time to go
I've been binge watching your channel and I have to say it like listening to someone describe my life for the past 20 years. This video for example she treated me both ways. She was everything I wanted at first. When it stopped I stayed trying to do whatever it took to get that back. I left her 7 months ago but I struggle every day with how she made me feel. Please keep making your videos I swear I'll keep watching.
Let’s be frank: Narcissistic Abuse is Domestic Abuse. As men, we do not self-identify as victims of Domestic Abuse. We are taught to identify ourselves as perpetrators, but never victims. And when we realized that we are and have been victims of Domestic Abuse, it’s psychologically devastating.
I went through my female narc relationship from 2014 to 2016, barely recovered by 2019, but it's still a nightmare that I believed changed the person I was supposed to be, they're soul suckers for sure. - this video is dead on too. Thank you Michele
I'm noticing and remembering more and more about this. My ex did this. I was soooo sure that we were going to have kids. 10 years into the relationship, she had a job with the best maternity leave I've ever seen in any job that anyone I know of has had. She then kept talking about having kids but kept pushing me away emotionally etc. Also we had agreed on moving in 2 years from there but she used it as a way of making me stay because she knew that I wanted her to have the best options for the pregnancy. 5+ years go by and I am finally just p!ssed of that we're 3+ years past our agreed upon deadline and the whole marriage she just kept acting like we had $0.00 to our name. She kept throwing fits about the budgeting and every single time that I tried to just do the budgeting myself she threw fits and cried saying: you don't believe me, you don't believe that I am a good wife. It made me feel like a total jerk and a douche. I couldn't do a single thing right according to her. I still have love for who I thought I was married to but I wasn't really married to that person because she doesn't exist. I realize now that I was in love with a figment of my own imagination and I never actually met the real person until the end. We've been divorced for over 1.5 years now but there's still this ridiculous game of victim that she plays then she turns it around on me every single time. I literally ended up homeless and she was manipulating people at my job and I still don't know who the new person is and I can't get closure from the relationship etc. I decided that I need to just delete her and block her entirely because no matter what I do or don't do now she plays a victim and acts like it's all on me and worst of all she tells everyone that I was abusive and a narcissist and cruel etc. But the last time that I talked to her she admitted that she had done stuff that was wrong but then cut me off again and blocked me. Then (friends of mine) are contacting me to talk about narcissistic issues. This is so sick, I can't believe it and what is the worst is that she's trying to manipulate the situation with my friends and family in order to make me feel and appear crazy and narcissistic. I literally don't talk to any of her friends or family and yet somehow I an labeled crazy 🤷♀️😬🤷♀️🤨🤦♀️. Gotta love it.
Mine begged for awhile and I shut her out of my life . they lose control when they lose power. Then they end up back on a website looking for more victims!
tbh, the physical chemistry I had with this girl had me completely hooked. I could not help but be addicted to the passionate intimacy we shared. We were on a different level. I'd like to find that type of energy again with a trustworthy girl who actually has integrity.
Same thing freaking here bro, connection off the charts like no other 5 years in I'm just realizing she's a narc
I think around the age of 30 women enjoy sex more. I met someone when I was 31 and the sex was really good. I think it was just timing and my age. He could have been anyone and I would have enjoyed it.
So you stuck around because of the sexorino?
Haha men 😂😂😂😂
@@God.sDaughter you seem like the type I avoid now
@@Kevin-dx7ut 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm just happy I got rid of my ex before it got way out of hand
I just did this two weeks ago. I have never felt lower, like coming off a drug, but I know old 50 years of age me will thank me. Just doesn’t feel like it right now
Lucky
Mine was very high on the narcissistic spectrum. Very high. I caught on after about 6 weeks. Never knew what narcicissm was but she took care of that when she said all her exes are narcs and I read into the matter. Why I stayed two more years, even after massive cheating, blame shifting and constant gaslighting was her daughter. Her daughter is now 7 and already had 3 father figures. The biological dad wants to be in her life but mommy always manipulates her way out of visitation. It's sad, in court he broke down crying and said he doesn't want anything to do with me mom anymore. Anyhow, early in the beginning it should have been a red flag that my ex introduced me to her daughter on our first date. It also should have been a red flag that early on the daughter asked me if I was gonna leave like everyone else. I asked why everyone leaves, she says usually everyone argues with mommy. It didnt trigger a warning because mommy told me her exes were narcs, so arguments and discard didnt sound inconsistent with that story. When I left the first time after uncovering her cheating, I remember her daughter standing there, begging and pleading whether that she could move out with me. Mind you, I wanted to sit down with mommy and daughter and talk about the break up and move out when the daughter doesn't have to watch. But you know narcs, when you end things, they one up you and so she said I had to leave immediately. It still brings tears to my eyes, that the daughter gave me her most favorite teddy and said "Take him with you so that you aren't alone when you sleep." I succumbed to hoovering multiple times. And I did, just like the previous men, try to establish a consistant visitation schedule with the daughter. And as expected, mommy interfered with that quite heavily. What surprised me is that she was able to paint herself as the victim to CPS, say the unstable visitation schedule is not good for the child, despite be being able to prove I was up to repeat weekly meetings but mom blew them off minutes beforehand. With things like "I saw a girl liking you're FB posts, you dont deserve to see my daughter, have fun with that s1ut." One year after the breakup. And visitation would usually work out when mommy had a date. It's mind boggling because CPS already had the same with her and the biological dad. But I guess crying fake crocodile tears and telling them we're abusive helps. Despite the child voicing her own opinion. Despite mommy having various criminal convictions for filing false police reports, aggravated assaults on household members and fraud, despite being in a psych hospital and the child having to live with grandma temporarily a few times a year, namely when mommy loses supply and nobody listens to her sob stories anymore and she seeks supply there, they find all that totally cool. Nobody bothers to check the police records or her medical records. They believe her stories of false convictions, how she was just defending herself, how others pushed her to do it and so on. Again, still brings tears to my eyes, cause there is nothing I can do for the little one. She told CPS that she thinks I am her daddy and that she is sad cause I don't come to visit anymore. According to her, mom told her I dont come around anymore because I don't love her. This was put off as "Well, kids that age don't remember things right, she probably misunderstood"
That is so sad! Do you know how the little girl is doing?
I just can't leave my narcissistic wife. I feel like I have brain damage I just can't change it. I have no idea how I'm going to ever break this Bond I feel
How you doing buddy?
I was married to a hardcore narcissist for a few years. It isn’t rocket science. You grow some balls, stand up for yourself, put them in their place, and do not back down. Then… you leave them.
That's exactly what happened to me. I cant thank you enough, you literally saved a few years of my life... your videos have been very helpful :)
This is SO accurate and described my experience perfectly. I was both guys in this scenario. It's been a year this week since she discarded me while also using every avenue to abuse me over the course of that year... and I still feel like I miss her and it still hurts but won't contact her because to contact her I'd have to HATE myself.
#1. So true
#2. So true - nobody has ever explained it this way before. That is 100% correct. There is always something to look forward to. Even though she doesn't know she'll be served with divorce papers any day now. She almost has me thinking that it might change one day. But, I know there is no hope. I can't wait for my 10 year Sentence (marriage) to finally come to an end.
People always ask, "So, why do you stay?"
Subbed.....
Wow. So accurate. I was the first guy, too many insecurities and unresolved stuff. Not glad it all wasn't real, but glad i learnt it now not after marriage, children, etc. To heal, one must see the mental illness in oneself. Co-dependency, insecurity, apathy, morbid empathy and unrealistic optimism. Setting feeling good in the present moment keeps me grounded. It also a revelation to be free of my own narcissistic delusions. Just because you don't have a cluster B disorder, doesn't mean you are healthy in your mind. "normal" isn't all its made out to be either.
You nail it... over 20 years of pull and push... nothing I did was enough... except in the beginning. As soon as she moved in with me, the hook was set... and she kept me doubting my competence... and without her, I couldn't survive... the verbal abuse was intense.
We split/made up many times... after it began costing me thousands to "help her out" to find a job, I realized I was being played, to support her while she spent all day in front of the computer, smoking pot, being a recluse.
My being the "caring guy," I bailed her out scores of times, classic white knight... but it was never enough...
Glad I finally walked. She was such a beauty at first, but the stress of her ruse took it all away...
I'm slowly getting my confidence back, but I'm still healing... and wonder if I ever will recover...
Sooooo similar to mine. wow its like a plague
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is amazing how accurate these videos are. Guys. I promise you, they will NOT change. They are incapable of taking any accountability. They will be the perpetual victim and EVERYTHING is your fault. EVERYTHING! If you’re experiencing this you have to get out. They will destroy you. Trust me.
i was like you one day ,look up rollo tomassi podcast and thank me later
Michele, this was an excellent video thanks. I enjoy and learn from your clarity of purpose and professional yet friendly delivery. As a 71 year old male who had never encountered such destruction in such a short space of time, I have learnt a great deal from you and I sincerely thank you for that.
They will leave it broke. They’ll take everything from you and laugh u
I have been with female narc for 4 years. At beginning it was so good the love bombing. She was saying to me "when are you going to say you love me" I finally said it later on because i meant it" it's so weird as to we're they despise the things they liked about you at the end, but liked them things at the beginning. I done everything for this woman spent Grands doing her place up. Then the devaluing came along putting me down. Talking about me behind my back. Saying I control her when don't. Saying that the relationship meant nothing to her now. Then discard happened. The discard phase for me was. " she was having a drink with friends at her place and I got invited round. I got a few bottles of drink, she drank wine quite alot of it. I was sitting in kitchen on my phone watching UA-cam videos. They was in living room dancing and blasting music on sound system I bought. I noticed there was a drink spilled on floor as they was dancing and I said could you move drinks from we're your dancing and pit them on the side table so wouldn't get spilled. They basically told me to shut up and who am I. I got attacked by them and punched in head. I went back in kitchen we're I was followed my ex gf mate attacked me and I reacted by calling her names. She smashed a bottle and threatened to stab me. I sat there soulless like I lost myself. They started playing songs towards me I was thinking what have I done to deserve this. My ex gf then had a fit which I helped her. Then all night they was telling her to leave me and why do you comfort him. I recorded the whole thing. I waited until 5am for ambulance to come check her over. Her mates had left by then. She said to me do I know what I've done I said I've done nothing wrong, she then went to bed and I was crying and upset. I layed on bed all night upset cried myself to sleep I had the worst nightmare ever. She just lay there giving me silent treatment. I woke up and i was angry and it baffles me it was like i was under control by something. I lost my temper and I wish I just left before it because I get blamed for everything that went wrong. They are messed up individuals who thrive off drama and in the end I'm sitting here like a shell of man and get no reply and basically discarded like trash. I put so much into the relationship and got nothing in return. It's true about good guys finish last but I'm going to get myself back to before I met her but even better. Not seen her since it really messed me up. Ghosting is the worst but stay strong cuz someone else is out there for us. :(
How are you now ? That's a sad story. These people will always show their true colours. Never trust the gfs friends , I've found they are usually jealous of the relationship and they will involve themselves to help break you up as they want the gf to thereselfs. I don't trust them one bit. My ex got her mate to deal with me when she gave me the silent treatment for weeks .
You are correct the nice man will always lose. These narcs are cruel. Honestly i saw lots of red flags but i choose to ignore them, yes they love bomb you at first and then they change. They will always blame you for everything . My ex broke my heart...
Leigh Morris You're so right about the exes friends wanting to split the couple. That was my experience as well. In the future we need to be much more careful when establishing something with a partner. It's just easy too risky out there. And coupled with something as horrifying as npd, we need to take things slow.
The one thumbs down on this video is either a narcissist or a troll.
Warren C what is got to do with you..control freak get a life ffs
Dionne did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what 🙄
I am no Control Freak and I have a life.
Michele is my friend and I am protective of my friends, so that's why I made the comment I did about narcissists and trolls giving Thumbs Down to her videos, as she always does an excellent job on all her videos.
Anyways last time I checked its still free country, so we both are entitled to our opinions.
Warren....Dionne is reflecting.......
Warren C lol typical beta orbiter .
Warren C
They don't like the fact of being exposed
I just got out of a 4yr relationship with my female ex narcissist fiancé 4 months ago. This video was my exact situation. She still hasn’t taken accountability for her actions or apologized for anything over the 4 years. I apologized for anything I did or said to hurt her numerous times and your videos helped me get the closure she refused to give me. Thank you!
OMG thanks for this video. This describes my last relationship exactly.
Michele u hit the nail on the head!! I had to get away from what used to be my wife and left this other woman after the divorce of the ex and realized that life is way to short for the shit they’ve given. It’s been a very rocky road upon both of the slimy crap 💩 now it’s smoothing out, but not out of the woods yet!! These people can make your brain 🧠 like watered down oatmeal!! If you’re dealing with one get the hell out, for it’s mental abuse
Where are you out of? You hit me on the head. I'm trying to break it after 8 years and a marriage. Everything you said is spot on. I need you in my life!
Very true- first 3 months was so amazing that, I hardly use to sleep for 4 hours. After I realised something wrong but I was hocked with guilt n then may be I can help her . These narc r beyond what we think. One day she told me something abt me, I never shared with anyone. I just wonder how she knows that. It’s been 6 months n she contacted me few times in between n did same thing but thanks to Online videos . Guys they amazingly insane- no contact is the best.
She told you about something you never shared because a demon was speaking through her. I'm talking about a real life demonic spirit. I know because I have dated a woman like that.
I was the second type and thought I could help her. You're soooo right Michelle, by being in the present would have saved myself almost 3 years of futile efforts on my part.
Me too bro, swore I could help had no idea what I was dealing with.
About a year away from that narc, and I feel much better. You are dealing with a person that is incredibly selfish and person running from themself.
BAM HIT IT AGAIN RIGHT ON THE HEAD, OMG, thank you some much, I was love bombed in the beginning, I am over the GUILT and on MY way to loving being Discarded
You are so so Wright i am so stuck for the LAST ten years , i lost my dream, my entire energy, intimacy is the hook when she wants to use it. SHE plays Guilt Trip
Almost been away from my narc 3 years i thank god ever day she nearly destroyed me mentally financially you name it she did it and she's had more victims since me these people are sick and Evil
OMG .... this is 1000000% my experience, it's correct to the absolute tee. That's just incredible how you describe it, it's scary actually how accurate this is.
And that's why it was sooo hard for me to leave, I kept remembering the intense emotional and physical connection.
It was insane, never ever have I experienced something like that before or after. But it was all part of what u describe.
She was molding herself in the beginning to everything I ever wanted and imagined and I felt it was an act, because I knew ppl who were scam artists, liars .... etc which makes me so sensitive to that.
And I could see she's fake, it's not her, that's absolutely not the real person.
She was almost gathering information and creating a fantasy of what I always wanted.
And then she started abusing me, taking away all she gave me and humiliating me through what I shared
You hit the nail on the head, everything you mention here is so true!!
Thanks Michele for the video. I’ve come to realize a lot of things you said on my own. But you confirmed it. Especially checking with your reality part.
Dear Michelle, your spot on” and all of the above “ Expert Manipulators are the Female Narcissist” for 25 yrs I was in this cycle “ and still it’s hard to break free, especially when there’s children involved “ I kept telling myself this time will be different, but was only far worse and worser “ each time I returned “ there is no answer, but complete No Contact “ Children will grow up” and I want too make sure I’m still around for them, when they do come of age” and the only way I can assure myself of this “ is Complete No Contact “
Otherwise the Venom is still there poised for me, the second I let my guard down “
Keep up your good work “
Michelle, your words were so helpful to me after coming out of a 9 year relationship with my fake narcissist ex girlfriend. I was "trauma bonded" by so much love bombing and her agressive sexuality style which later turned to devaluation. And, despite being hoovered 7 or 8 times, I always still went back thinking about the past or the future, I wasn't accepting the "reality" of the present. But the moment you said this the penny dropped for me. I felt a calmness in my spirit that I haven't felt in a month of NC. Thankyou so much, and to all the guys out there living through this, we can triumph by being the better person and living a life that we want. We have this! Stay in indefinite NC and show no weakness.
I stayed with my narcissistic ex wife for 31 years because of marriage vows. I would have stayed longer, but she found a new supply after I just quietly stopped caving to her never-ending demands. Apparently it took quietly saying no to one demand. Five years down the road, and the recovery continues.
can relate to this
out of 100 demands can do 99 YES demands but the Minnit theres that 100th NO demand for valid reason......all those 99 Yes demands that drain every fibre of ones being to do ..................get dumped in the rubbish and completely forgotten & mean NOTHING!
"Throwing in a glimpse of what once was"
That stuck out to me.
Watch for these steps guys …1. Warmth, praise, comfort 2. Now they can pry into mind 3. Next the manipulation of your emotions and they demand, demean, belittle their partner for their superiority 4. Temper tantrums when things don’t go their way 5. Repeat, and start with step 2. Step 1 is only to get you hooked.
Very insightful. I've come across a lot of men who've had experiences with narcissistic women. Oftentimes it leaves them emotionally scarred for life
I swear I’ve my ex and I seen you together in Adrian. She turned out to be a covert narcissist. I have my own issues possibly bpd but the way she discarded me has been brutal after over three years. I’m in shock. Thanks for the videos
Thank you for explaining it so well. It was exactly what I went through. The narcissist female always praise you and make you feel your are a super hero and that you can do nothing wrong. But like you said that can change so quick and it left me stunt that she changed all that good things she said to me in to totally different way and the words was like a razor blade cutting my soul. Its like a Angel turning into a devil
So true!! The moment I started to look at the now and rejecting her once she started to give me what she thought I wanted. I was stuck for 30 years with a covert narc. You are so right! I was so addicted to the emotional and physical connection when or if we had sex. Once I decided I no longer wanted to play the manipulation game to get my addiction fix was when I got discarded. I started my healing process before she moved on. I did it without these videos and was making a lot of mistakes at first. Once I started watching videos on the subject I knew I was on the right track but was making mistakes. Now I’m still not perfect with it. But I’ve healed so many of my other relationships that my narc tore apart. I had such a hard time sleeping when I was with my narc. I was on several meds. At one point I was on 11 meds a day! But I am excited to report that I do not take one single med. I sleep like a baby. I’ve lost a total of 110 plus pounds and look and more importantly feel great! But now I see her trying to work her way back into my life because she truly believes I am nothing without!? I have a stronger relationship with our sons which has been pissing her off something terrible. She even shamed our middle son recently in front of our oldest sons birthday party with her new boyfriend there. Our son drove 55 minutes to find me just for a hug! He was such a mess. Now that I’m not around to be the buffer between her and everyone else she is starting to lose her shit! These videos have been extremely helpful! I do my best to follow them. I wait at least 2 hours to reply back to any of my narcs texts. I never reveal any personal information about myself to her. I don’t show her any emotions. I never post anything negative on my social media accounts. Our sons report back to her that I am a changed man and I’m no longer a prick. I tell them it’s not that I was ever a prick. But I was the buffer between them and their mother and it was the most frustrating thing I’ve ever gone through. She is showing her stripes now to them. It took over an year for them to start to see it. The one thing I had the hardest time with was not telling them how their mother truly was. I had to allow them to go through some really rough shit to see her true colors. We have 3 sons and the oldest is yet to see anything like that from her. But he is also married to someone just like his mother. So it may take years and years before he actually see it. I have to be very patient. Thank you for your videos. They do help!
Marco Lojewski_sounds like you were her co-dependant partner. Good that you are no longer with her. You and your sons can truly know each other now.
Oh my goodness!! This is so spot on!! I am now very hesitant on sharing things because I fear they will be used against me. They have in the l
Past, my hobbies, my likes, my mistakes, my fantasies, all that has been used against me. No matter how many times I choose love, compassion, forgiveness, it’s never enough and it is always my fault or someone else’s fault. Intimacy is NOT the same as before, she was sooooo into sex. Then all lf the sudden. Nope. I am so frustrated, concerned, broken, sad.