Are You Dateable? | David Marvin
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- Опубліковано 20 сер 2024
- Dating is a path that leads to a promise that leads to a lifelong pursuit. But just because you’re available doesn’t mean that you’re datable. In this message, we go through a checklist of priorities that will tell you if you are in fact, dateable.
Is he dateable? Is she dateable? Are you dateable? In this series, we dive into what makes one ready and able to date in a way that honors God.
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Marriage and Singleness are both blessings of God. Marriage lets you share your love for God with someone else in an intimate and loving way and have children. Singleness allows you to have more time between yourself and God. Never feel inferior because you are single. If that's God's plan for you, even for the rest of your life, use it to glorify God even more.
Love that so much! Beautifully said:)
Amen
I see it more like this-> nobody has time, if something is important to you, you make the time for it and it doesn’t matter if you are married or not, you find time if you want to, but maybe you need to cut time with Movies and Video games but this is it. So it seems more like try to encourage singles
In the spiritual realm this is good and fine, but our society is not accepting of older, single men. They are seen as threats, perverts, and pedophiles, especially in the churches. Also many hospitals reject single men if they have no family. You will most likely see God before your married friends.
Well said!!!
One of the greatest messages ever taught on singleness. Unforgettable lesson.
Glad to know I’m dateable… I have 3main things that are absolutely non negotiable…
1. Being led by the Holy Spirit
2. Into fitness and health
3. Hard working.
We can work on everything else together😊
@LION THE KING I’m actually happily married now 🤭
Here are some notes written out for you all from the message with a few bits from my perspective. I know sometimes I prefer to read rather than listen because its faster, so here ya go!
NOTES:
- Check your preferences
- Check your preparation
- Check your pattern
- Check your priorities
- Check your people
- Check your plan
i. Are you ready for marriage? (not are you ready to marry a specific person right now... thats what dating is for to find out haha) but are you as an individual ready for marriage, because that is what dating leads to.
I. Preparation
A. Take the time that you have now as a single person to serve and get to know the Lord and prepare
B. Story about needing to prepare for surgery by not consuming anything - if he drank water - could die
C. 1 Corinthians 7:7 "I wish that all of you were single as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that."
D. You must get your relationship with God right before you can get your relationship with a guy or girl right.
II. Dealing with Hurts --- Is there anyone in your life you have not forgiven?
A. Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
B. Billie Gram -- What makes a great marriage? Two forgivers.
III. Deal with toxic habits
A. eating disorder, lying, porn, stress reliefs, lust, gambling, something to confess/work on etc
B. Will not leave when you're married - will likely be magnified
C. Give the gift to your future spouse - not make your problem "our problem"
D. Being married does not change anything about you except that you're married - you must change- marriage is not a magical transformation button
E. Everything else you prepare for- you don't just promise --- eg. sports
F. I do is not enough
G. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 11 " 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres... 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."
H. Not happily ever after- grow together
IV. Check your Pattern
A. Dating/relationship cycles - if you don't know it, you can't address it
B. Proverbs 14:15 The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.
C. Patterns
1. Father was controlling so look for passive person or vice verse
2. or.. look for someone who likes you more than you like them - protect yourself from rejection- you have the power to leave because they won't
3.. Think badly of yourself and it affects your relationships
F. Question: what would fireworks feel like - are they a criteria? Why is that important, even if the person is great on paper? (personal notes please stay in touch with Jesus - don't make decisions just off of feelings, but! the way you feel around someone is very important too. Ask God to plant his desires in your heart!)
G. Is your alignment off? - you'll have to compensate - if on your own you go the wrong way in isolation
H. "All the men I've dated are jerks!" You are the common denominator
I. Make Your list- but people don't get divorced cuz he "wasn't witty enough"- divorce over selfishness etc.
V. DATABLE LIST
A. Jesus = first love
B. Church member
C. Humble- teachable - not perfect - ask for forgiveness
D. Strong Character
E. Value Marriage
G. Proverbs 12:4 "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."
H. Outside/looks are going to change - inside stays the same
I. Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
1. Don't just follow your heart and infatuation
VI. Check Your People
A. Probers 24:6 "For by wise counsel you can wage your war, and in an abundance of counselors, there is victory."
B. Hebrews 3:12 " See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God."
C. Song of Solomon - friends supporting and counseling you -
D. Proverbs 18:1 "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desires, whoever breaks out against all sound judgement."
E. His engagement Story
1. Got super anxious after proposing
2. Check in with the people - he was just nervous - find people to keep you accountable and grounded
VII. Check your plans
A. Is marriage on the horizon? Could you see yourself getting married in the next 1-2 years?
B. Luke 14:28-30 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.'"
C. Dating is a path to lead to a promise to a life long pursuit
D. Don't perpetually date... You dated for 5 years? What information are you lacking?
E. David Marvin hates the mall lol - can't breathe because of the perfume - pretzels everywhere haha
1. Shopping is allowed in the mall - don't shop for people - go with a focus and a purpose and a ready heart
VIII. Conclusion
A. If you are dateable- Date - do it! say yes and don't be scared!
B. If you are not (this was stated in much love) work on yourself and give yourself to God -
C. This life is about Jesus! Find someone who believes the same- raise disciples - have children -
D. Do not date your own way - that is arrogant - surrender your all to Jesus
E. Closing Prayer
Hopefully this helps some of y'all! Good luck!
GOD BLESS YOU
Thank you!!!
Thank you for this!
You are amazing! God bless!
Thank you for this!
I don’t think it’s coincidental I watched this video today. I had two wisdom teeth out today and somehow I forgot I shouldn’t drink anything. When the dentist told me if he gave me anesthesia I could die, I said “okay, I wanna live.” They couldn’t even use laughing gas because I had water an hour ago. I’m in a season of preparation and I have a list of priorities I need to get done before marriage because I wanna live and I want my marriage to live. Thanks for this gold pot 🙏🏾
One of the finest sermons I have been blessed to hear.
Great message Pastor David. This a such a huge lesson for me because I’ve been single for my whole life and was giving up on how to find the one. I’m grateful for the Porch.
Love, dates and heartbreaks...period!💔💔😵😵
I didn’t become a Christian until 27 y/o I’m 28 now… my single season was wrapped up in sexual immorality and weed… hedonistic pursuits and fake friendships…
Now, as I try to date… I feel as though im late to the game and I need more time single in a ‘healthy way’ as opposed to the way I spend my life up to this point, but I have a fear that Im getting too old and that im wasting my opportunities… I’ve tried talking with people online and I just stop answering… I’ve cried to God about it… I think it’s a deep fear… something off… whatever it is I know I need help and I just cry out to the Lord. I want to stop hurting people and I don’t want to get hurt. And then sometimes I think I might be called for lifelong singleness, so I don’t even start talking to anyone.
I am glad you exist...we need more people like you to teach proper dating and marriage. Thank you! Marriage is special, it is love and respect...
Having a child is a gift, my daughter was never a hindrance of any kind luckily.
So thankful to have come across this during my season of singleness. God bless you!
This is a good message that a lot of singles need to see. I needed this!
Needed that sermon too🙏
One thing I need to add which doesn't seem to be said in the comments is that marriage is not God's plan for everyone.
If it's God's will for you to be married then you will be, if not, then you won't.
This is found in 1 Corinthians 7:17. You can check it out yourself.
I actually have a sermon on this, it's called "Stay Single Or Start Dating For Marriage?"
That verse mentions nothing about marriage
@@philgaming1176 context is everything, if you read the context of that passage you will realize that it is indeed about marriage.
if we read any verse on its own then we’re not reading the bible accurately. try reading the entire passage from what i mentioned and then see what you think.
I disagree; marriage is in God's plan for everyone should people choose to date. We're given free will and marriage or singleness is a CHOICE. What 1 Corinthians 7:17 implies is that The World will tell you different; yet, as a Christian, you should always stay Holy.
@@lakebay972 Please show us all where in scripture you've found that marriage is God's plan for everyone.
I am loving this and God! And what you guys are doing and how you are influencing the dark corners of this world. God bless you all. I can’t wait to see what this series entails.
Going on a date tonight, very helpful very cool. thanks David 👌🏻
Blessings to you Max ! Praying for you and her 🙏❤️
There's a season of singleness but that's not exactly comforting for someone who really wants to be married but never has been.
That's the great thing about becoming the person you want to attract as you get closer to God. God starts working in you, and you started noticing things like why do I want to be marry so badly like the root reasons? Asking God to continue to work within you. I feel you perhaps God is calling to be comforted by his presence. He knows you want to be married but he also wants his love and presence to be enough so that marriage, kids or your spouse don't become an idol in your life. His timing is perfect. God bless.
Truly needed to hear this message. Much love and thank you man.
I grew up without a Father. So many walk that same path of life, never knowing the TRUE guidance a Father can provide, the sense of protection, the unwavering love a Father is supposed to extend to his children.
It only got harder once I had children of my own, HOW do I be a Father, when I don’t even know what it means…so many abandon their children asking that same question to themselves.
God changed everything, God began showing me what it meant to love, to care, to nurture…but not just my children, but those around me “thy neighbor”.
I realized I knew no Father, just so I could come to know THE FATHER, when the time was right 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
We are going to have “Moments of Uncertainty”
But that is not as important as the element you use to relieve yourself. Many followers of Christ are still indulging in our vices and addictions to relieve our “Uncertainties”
Lean on God in your darkest moments, lean on the word that says you were created with meaning and purpose, lean on the Grace of God…let it steady your mind, your heart and your body.
I don’t know who I’m writing to, who’s reading this, but God is ready, and waiting for you to seek him, through Jesus Christ, whom he sent to die the death meant for you and I.
Not just on Sunday, not just when you “need” him, not just when you’re desperate…but every day, hour, minute and second of your life.
Develop consistency in Christ, and you will come to know what it means to “Be still, and know, that he is God”
Glory be to God 🩸🩸🩸
If I still have you here, God bless you, join me as I take you inside a moment of my own personal “Uncertainty” in life, while never forgetting God has me always 🙏🏽🕊
ua-cam.com/video/VXfWQtxnwqc/v-deo.html
Absolutely love this series! It has completely changed the way I look at dating
Thank you for this, I'm ready for an uncomplicated dating. I pray 🙏 for a god fearing man all all God fearing woman.
This whole series 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
If anyone is looking for good marriage and dating advise, you should look up Voddie Baucham . He talks about godly women hood, godly manhood and marriage topics.
Knowledge is power and i thank you for the knowledge Lord. I like the simplicity of how pastor David unfold this topic.
Thank you for the greatest message.
Amazing talk!! Thank you so much ☺️
Needed to hear this!!
We need The Porch here in California
This was an awesome message!
Watchin this a year after my divorce. I think I need my prep to date for sure
This is wisdom,
Powerful 🙌🏾🙌🏾
What does it mean to be blessed?
This, my dear friends:
ua-cam.com/video/FdU2Bol04tI/v-deo.html&lc=Ugyywq6hpNY_2Vfq5vN4AaABAg
im definately coming to the porch this tuesday
this was so ggoooddddd!!!!! thank you
My ex says he is a godly man. When he was with me he was on dating sites behind my back. He would lie to my face about it. He also would message females on social media ask for phone numbers all while I was at his home cooking him dinner. He would leave me behind on trips and go to bars and meet girls at the bars and get their numbers. I would find texts with tell them he wishes they were there with him. Females he hurt me for he would delete every thing about me photos memories and then add these girls on fb. But wanted me there when he felt like. After all this and more he told me he did nothing wrong per the Bible because we were not married. I couldn’t believe that was his mindset.
So good !!
Sooooo good
Amen!
Ryan Reynolds of pastors
cmonnn now pastorrrr! tlk to em!
Jesus loves you
On paper, I have been blessed with be successful (career, athletics, I'm tall...all the hallmark trates that make a man attractive). I don't think I'm datebale at all. Perhaps something is wrong with me. Everything else in my life that I have put my mind to, I have succeeded. Except when finding a spouse sturgle with dating. I wanted a family, I don't know it that is what God wants for me..I'm content being alone, but I would like a partner to walk through life with.
I only engage in Carbon-14 Dating.
😊
We hope no one ends up on...bachelor nation!🔥🔥🔥🔥
What do you do if you get married but then realize after being married for a lil bit that you weren’t ready for marriage?
have a separation period and seek wise counsel; if your spouse realizes s/he wasn't ready either, then go to counseling together; continue separation until you resolve all your issues; only divorce as a last resort or if the gospel is no longer a factor in your marriage; it's a long, bumpy road ahead; but seek wise counsel
I do not know what the reason for not feeling ready for marriage is, but my mom usually says this; Before you marry someone it might be the wrong guy/girl, but after getting married its always the right guy/girl. If violence or other very dangerous problems are in the picture, its a very different issue. Marriage is such a big step that if you realise you werent ready for it, for example you have some issues to work on. Then, you do that, you work on yourself and on the issues. Stay honest and transparent with each other, and work together, and above all spend time with God. Reading the bible, and praying, building a good and strong realtionship with God is the best solution to everything.
🙃
I have an issue with wanting to look at other women at time, not often which is rarely, but it's still there. Should I not date till I'm fixed???
Yes, you should not date until you keep your submission towards lust and temptation under control. If it takes until you're 50, 60-years-old; so be it. Nothing is more degrading and disrespectful toward a woman that her being on a date with a guy she loves, yet doesn't have her undivided attention. If this is a problem before the wedding, it'll be a problem after. Check yo'self B4 ya wreck yo'self!
Hey @Russell, if you are waiting to be “fixed” to date you will wait you’re whole life ! We are human which means it’s impossible not to notice the other sex. It’s not sin to noticed a woman or think “wow God created her so beautifully!” It’s what do you think when you look that you should question. Be honest with yourself and practice on your mindset, practice on your thoughts when you see an attractive women because remember whatever we feed grows. Also if you are in a current relationship don’t be afraid to talk with your girlfriend about this! Authenticity and vulnerability are what drive longevity in relationships! Hope any of this helps
@@meshelllp6658 I see you are not only fair, but wise!
Proverbs 31:10 KJV
[10] Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:25-26,30 KJV
[25] Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
[26] She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
[30] Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
@@SpartacusQuoVadis thank you for this encouragement! I had this exact scripture proclaimed over me weeks ago from a friend and that said “God is preparing you for this”.. thank you for continued confirmation! ❤️
Jai Shree Ram ❤❤❤❤
Interesting comment about forgiveness!🤔 Though I wonder if refusing to conduct a wedding because someone hasn't forgiven is biblical?🧐 *Christian theology holds that repentance must come before forgiveness.* While it is harmful to hold on to past grudges/hurts it can be just as harmful to forgive those who have not seen the error of their ways, humbled themselves, and asked for forgiveness first. That's why we celebrate the story of the redemption of the "repentant thief" and not the "unrepentant thief"🤨
But God admonishes us to forgive. Just because you forgive doesn't mean the person who hurt will admit their wrong or change their ways. Forgiveness means you choose to move on with your life without holding what that person did in your heart. If you decide to continue a relationship with the person who hurt you, that's your choice. If you feel it's best to not be in relationship with them, that's your choice. Forgiveness also mean you are not obligated to continue in relationship with them.
@@robindear5043 "So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; *and if they repent, forgive them.* Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” - Luke 17: 3-4.
Your turn....
When you forgive someone, that does not mean that what the person did was right or that the person is living right now. Forgiveness means taking on the humility that you do not deserve the forgiveness that Christ has given you and therefore you have no right to hold onto unforgiveness. All have fallen short of the glory of God. So no matter how awful the thing that person did was, you must forgive as Christ has forgiven you and has reconciled you to your Heavenly Father.
@@laurengraham1227 *Christ hasn't forgiven the world.* He's only forgiven those who've repented from their sins and asked his forgiveness. Anything else and you are preaching a false gospel.
Sorry for the confusion. I was talking in the context of a Christian to Christian relationship. Also, in the context of a Christian to a Non-Christian I'd say it's the same in that Christians are saved by grace alone and are no more deserving of forgiveness than a non-Christian since all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I'm saying that unforgiveness is a sin no matter to whom because that mean that you are holding yourself as higher than the other person when all are equally unholy in the eyes of God. Christians have been justified by Christ, but nothing more. Yes, Christ has made a way to have forgiveness of sin but yes the whole world was not forgiven, we still have to choose to accept Christ as Lord and Saviour and humble ourselves before him in order to be redeemed in the eyes of God.
It's impossible for me. God laughs at me daily 😭
Why do you think that? You may be called to singleness to serve for his kingdom or call to be married to serve his kingdom. God bless.
@@GodLovesWarriors how do you know if a person is called to be single?
@@GameOnShanny 1 Corinthians 7:6-8, I am paraphrasing, Paul mentioned that he would like everyone to be single like he was called to be (his opinion) because then you can fully focused and give your all to serve to serve the kingdom of Christ since your attention, time, etc won't be divided unlike that of a married person would but that wanting to be married isn't bad either. Singleness gets such a bad rep, but honestly it's the best time to serve God with all that you have because your focus isn't divided as well as heal from past wounds,etc by getting nearer to God.
@Lorraine I totally get it but that doesn't mean I'm called to be single
Is passive men unbiblical?
God wants his people to be active and action oriented. There is a difference between being quiet, meek and reserve yet you can still be bold and assertive in Christ but being passive can be seen as lazy or idle which is bad/sin as in missing the mark. Whether it's a guy or girl, you won't be motivated to follow Christ, if you are passive in nature. (1 cor 9:24) that says we are in a race to win. Idk about you but a passive man in marriage sounds like a nightmare, nothing will get done.
11 DISLIKES? LOL WHO ARE THE HATERS?!
They found out they aren’t ready to date 👀😂
Marriage cult. Can't knock the hustle tho.
The dating app idea is future-forward. Be the first and earn back a few brownie points.
Great story, but what were the scriptures on dating?🤯🤯💯💯🤍🤍
There are none 😂
Dating is a new concept and did not exist in biblical times
@@adelinecambria5165 not to mention it has not even been a thing for a 100 years yet
#UrbanApologetics