the truth behind why I’m ALWAYS single…
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- The truth behind why I never get into relationships
the art of being single
TIME STAMPS
0:00 intro
1:09 why I’ve been single
2:42 upbringing and personality
5:39 PROS of being single
9:25 CONS of being single
11:16 outro
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"Because apparently in today's society if you're not in a relationship, there's something wrong with you." The most relatable line I've heard since becoming an adult. It has seriously become a social requirement and everyone around me is nagging me about it. F*cking finally someone feels the same. Thank you, I needed this.
I'm glad my friends are the same shut-in type as I am, no one is bothering you about it, and my family is like "you do you".
I'm 23 and I've already accepted that I may be single forever. Makes it easier to focus on other pursuits.
Omg you are just 23, please. You should focus on yourself, improve your skill, live a better life, be good to your parent. Somebody will see you positive attitude & life aaaand this will attract other people to like you. Wish you a happy life 🎉
naw u gonna find some boi don't even stress
Same, i am destined to be single, just be happy with it😊
hey coco, this video was so relatable! thanks for opening up and being so honest. i hope you find yourself and find someone you can really take pride in the future because you deserve it
I am a 32 year old single lady and your vlog reminds me of my younger self being alone as a foreign undergrad student in Toronto. Don’t worry, it gets better as you mature as you will find comfort and reassurance for the state you are in 😊
I am 33years old single boys living a life? My education is graduate? My life is alone and single life bachelor wait a woman save me my life as a husband and wife relationship? My life is bitter time spend with a wife? you are need a life partner? I am available in your life?
Yikes. Why do women love to give each other the worst advice?
Coco, I'm gonna be so happy & sad when you finally meet your your soulmate! 😭♥ Please don't stop uploading amazing vlog content for us! 🥺🙏 You've always been a huge inspiration to us, please don't leave us when you find someone... 💔😭
Ditto ur super cool! Tbh it just sucks longing for a wife/husband and not finding them yet. Theres nothing wrong to why you don’t have your boyfriend yet. Just keep talking about your feelings to your family snd friends, keep being friends with guys you think are cute, and just keep up with your friends in general and make the most out of enjoying where you’re at in life! You’re going to miss this time honestly i promise. You’re very pretty and hot and all dudes r gonna think that about you, but the universe is just not going to bring your boyfriend to you till its the right time. I think you just need to trust god on that one. It’ll be ok theres plenty of people just like you longing for love, just trust the process, practice gratitude, and always be hopeful and excited when your husband finds you. U got this coco it’ll be ok
This was a lovely chat to listen to! I'm in my late 20s - I've been in a few relationships and am now thoroughly enjoying single life. I'm also highly independent and totally relate with so much of what you said. I'll say that my dating experiences helped me learn a lot about myself, as well as the types of people who exist out there... and yes, some of the perks (like holding hands and watching anime together) were nice. At times I wish to not be so alone... but after dealing with relationship troubles and even traumas, I know it's so much easier being single. Relationships are work (even with the right person). Dating apps and modern dating are exhausting. Keep living your life ❤
grew up as an only child and i can totally relate to what you're saying! have been v emotionally and mentally independent since young as well and my therapist even straight out told me that i am used to suppressing my emotions and just going about my day as a way to move on. i felt like my previous relationships didn't fulfill me (or value add) to my life perhaps because of who i am, and i also agree on the part where you said that dating shouldn't feel like i'm sacrificing my alone time
i can relate so much, especially on the being scared of being seen as vulnerable thing and opening to people
thanks for sharing
Today's dating is hard. Esp in NYC, period. Ppl always talk about relationships and values but forget getting into a relationship is actually very hard. As a guy over 30, I learnt its just staying emotionally available, but never to discount yourself (or be extremely picky). Feel like in the end, every1 puts "want serious only" but then freak out when one party does act serious
As a fellow new yorker, NY is a giant city with seemingly infinite people/options yet we all, to a certain extent, feel the same type of loneliness when we're by ourselves. every sentence you spoke in this video is exactly how i feel. Thanks so much for putting it into actual words 🙏🙏
Actually I feel like we hold a lot of values in common Coco, you can do it XD!!! Take your time and never rush into it.
Wow, this middle child thing is soo relatable. Found your thoughts and experience super helpful! Came for aesthetics, stayed for life lessons 😎Big thanks, Coco, all the best!
Glad it was helpful!
GREAT VIDEO COCO❤❤❤❤
I used to be SUPER attached to people emotionally. Many things has happened in the past few years, now I'm stuck with anxiety + depression. But it's very interesting that I'm not emotionally attached to anyone now because of these trauma.
However, I still find it quite scary to live on my own becuase of my anxiety, could you share some tips on some activities you do while being home alone to feel less "lonely" or any experiences when you felt anxious being alone?
Thanks for the video and jiayou on making more videos!!!!
This is sooo relatable to me, thanks for sharing this!
It's quite interesting seeing how other peers view this world and share their opinions. look forward to more vids like that
Honestly, you kind of style is really touched me
Hey I’m 30 and still struggle with dating and managing my relationships. I recognise I’m probably in a different phase from coco and a guy, no less, but I definitely found this video very relatable. It’s definitely a video that calmed me down and made me appreciate myself and how far I’ve come. So yea, thanks coco for sharing.
Oh wow, the part on upbringing and personality resonates so much with me! I have the exact personality as what you described - emotionally independent, unwilling to open myself up and be vulnerable in front of others, and "tomboyish". I am also selective in terms of who I want to spend time with. Just lately I've been thinking why am I still single even though I have had guys trying to start a relationship with me almost every other year. I guess it's fundamentally due to my emotional independence and selectivity, I turn them down before even getting into it. I think perhaps waiting is better than settling down with someone who is less than your expectations as the relationship will not be fulfilling then. I hope you will find your Mr Right when the stars are all aligned :)
coco !!! This is so relatable :(( I have also never dated and I was always wondering if there is anything wrong with me. But I feel like the worst thing we should do is settle for less or something you know you won't be all in for just for the purpose of dating. I have always hated other people of saying you will meet the right person at sometime, but I really do think at the right timing, it will come. sending lots of love! You are def not alone on this
This is such a therapeutic video
This is very relatable to me. Thank you for sharing!
This was a great video Coco and you said a lot of things I’m couldn’t quite put into words myself.
I’m a college student and went all my life without being in a relationship. There are moments when I’m like “wow it would be nice to have a bf” and other times when I enjoy my solitude, being free, and single. One large reason why I’m single is because the thought of being vulnerable and open to someone else terrifies me lol. I constantly think about if I’d be able to maintain a relationship in the first place and scared of being hurt of breaking up if I do.
thanks for sharing in this open format, I somewhat relate being single in my early twenties
oh dang the upbringing and personality chapter hit surprisingly close to home. I think one thing that helped me open up to friends and family more is understanding that more often than not they won't view it as an inconvenience, but as a sign that you view them as someone you can emotionally rely on, which is usually a rewarding feeling. Sure it might seem like weakening oneself to be emotionally dependent on others, but I think its a healthy social act when done in moderation.
I agree with your point when you said being in a RS makes your more productive as if you find the right partner, they will support and motivate you to become a better person and makes you feel motivated to do more things.
Coco你的心得和我有许多共鸣。我14岁去了加拿大，四年高中经历了许多事情，这些事情导致的心情也需要自己处理，于是慢慢的自己的内心逐渐强大和成熟。我在感情方面也是avoided attachment style，大学的这几年里我有机会认识一些女生，但每当我认为离跟她们交往很接近的时候，我心里就充满恐惧和难受。我会想，和她一起面对这个恐怖的世界真的好吗，还是我自己一个人承受比较好吧。总之，谢谢你讲出你的心得，因为我很难用文字去表达那种感觉，但是你做到了，谢谢。
One book that really helped me with perspective on dating was "How to not die alone" by Logan Ury. Like you, I had very limited dating and relationship experience even till my 30's. The book talks about very realistic circumstances like how the spark is a myth, what is a life partner, and how someone can become the right person.
I think another thing that will help you is to not have any expectations while dating so that you won't have distracting thoughts like maybe this person will cuff me or this is a waste of time. Don't focus on your fear of opening up emotionally. Instead, relax, try to be present and mindful to learn about another person, and simply enjoy an experience together whether it works out or not!
thank you for your recommendation!! will check the book out
It does actually happen when you least expect it I was single for a LONNGG time and only recently got married. I just could never justify being with someone if I had to ever say "ugh I gotta talk to this person today". I used to think society did have this weird notion that like "ah if you are single then there is something wrong with you" nope I just enjoy my freetime enough to whereas I do not need to pretend to be happy with someone else to be happy haha. Just keep doing you and things will workout eventually. Alot of the INFPs I've known when they do find love they fall deeply in love with the person, so best to make sure you find the best partner you can!
Hi Coco, I love these talking videos, I love your voice and I love the time, humour and genuine ease in which they flow. I'm a hopeless romantic although I'm very shy it is like opposites. I think it is wise and mature to look at the person you are going to go out with and trust your inner emotions and feelings. Does he treat you kindly, Is he interested in you, does he care how you are and listen, or does he try to control, change or lessen you. Friends sometimes mean well when they suggest dates or push you to date but you have to feel it, the pressure is no good. You have to please yourself, not them. I had a date surprised on me and the woman was someone I had seen at a club when she was drunk and sat beside me, she burped in my face. I told her about it and said nicely I wasn't interested in going on the date. My friend was disappointed but there was no spark. I went out a lot in school, I loved just hanging out and I also enjoyed trust, which is a wonderful feeling. I do believe that love just happens, I'm single and I'm shy. I say I've given up for myself but then I see someone's reaction when I talk to them and they smile. I forget how shy I am, how quiet and all the negative things you see in yourself when you're scared. I had a taste of being free and true to myself in school, my teachers asked me to come into their classes and offer my opinions and I was liked for being myself. I went to an art college, and had the experience of doing what I wanted. I use art to express myself, so gave out things I called smile bringers, which worked like good luck charms and flooded the school with flowers, roses mostly, where I removed the thorns so they wouldn't pick the person getting them. To some people this was silly but to me it was showing I appreciated their kindness or because they made me smile and happy. I think you have a feeling in your core you have to trust, a sense only you know. I'm still single and I would be scared to date, but time spent with someone you can laugh with and see in their eyes that they want to, is something very precious. I hope I haven't gone on too much, but it shows your idea to talk was a good one, the topic will bring forth lots of views. A good sign for your future conversations. I've said before how I felt you gave off an strong cool aura. I see a confidant woman in you and a skilled one in many ways. I like how you are in your skin, I admire that and I respect your bravery in filming and being open. I think you should be proud of all you have accomplished and remain true to your beautiful self. Take Care Coco, My Love, Spirit and Support!! Congratulations on Graduating,You have friends for life there, and many future adventures with them.
Many thanks for your sharing this. I am in the situation as same as you describe right now. I really enjoy self-quality time and feel hard to open myself up, but I still look forward beginning a relationship one day in the future, quite confusing lol. Many thanks for your sharing as well.
So relatable as a middle child as well! 🤩
CoCo, I totally agree with what you said!❤
this one hits really close to the heart😭😭
coco, I feel your pain. you'll find someone worth all the wait ❤
Honestly wild how much I can relate to you regarding relationships. Most people say I'm just very picky and everything but it's pretty much everything you've said. I want to keep my current lifestyle with my future partner and every partner I've met I've been thinking about how I'd lose my freedom and have to go on a date every weekend to sustain the relationship. Might just end up being single forever at this point.
i honestly believe that u r ryt to choose this style of video since like obviously ppl are relatable to others and i am quite like you since id rather just listen to someone talk abt (very specific parts of their-) lives and just nod and shit but like probably not as independent and DEFINITLEY not a workaholic but i do wish to be since i hate being bored, but ya no i definetley support this video and its style since its really laid back and unscripted KEEP GOIN FAR COCO!!!
Relatable content, especially regarding attachment style!
some points I totally resonate with, not yet with some others. But it's a very high quality video
Thanks for letting us bachelors know that even such pretty girls like u might be single ❤
Coco on the road of becoming my favorite UA-camr, we’re probably the same age too
Really really relatable ✨
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean it’s a weakness. That notion is what keep me building a genuine relationship in different kind of settings- not just on surface level. It’s actually cool, bcs a lot of people can’t do that which ended up with mental health issues. All people actually have their own struggles and weaknesses, but they just like to replied “I’m good or I’m doing great”. Being tough or prideful isn’t always good. I think in this social media generation, we sometimes wanted to show just the best image of ourselves. The fact that you posted this video, it’s actually cool and honest!
I love your videos, and how you share your experience and feelings. It makes me understand people and myself better in terms of dating, thanks to your own views and opinions. Thank you!
I (and other people surely too) appreciate your video!
love this style of video!!
that was fun to watch. 32 yo male here and never really got in a real relationship so i get what you meant with the "entry level player" except in my case there are way more issues because of some decision i took when i was young (not bad ones and none that i regret).
totally relate to what you're saying. in the end of the day, it's a good opportunity to find yourself sooner than later. too many people can't fathom themselves as an autonomous and independant entity without their pairs which create lots of problem within the couple. whatever. good luck !
I like this style! Keep doing!
I love this content sooooooo much 😭
I love the edit of the video. I am 46 and still never have a girlfriend. The main thing I always wanted was to be there for my girl so she could vent to me like you have. Everyone says I am a good friend, but I get ghosted once they get what they want from me. All I wanted was just some of their time and know I don't have to talk to the wall. I lost hope, but for you, I say give it time.
Subbed, mostly relatable except the family part for me
so emotionally mature and brutally beautiful🫶
I LOVE THIS VIDEO !
"being inconvenience to other people" that hit home.
im a year late to this but this is honestly a great video, its so eye opening and relatable at the same time!
So much depth!
Enough depth to be on an episode of JBro?
let it cook coco, you will soon find your soulmate for the moment just enjoy the little things in life with the ones you loved.
I just realized, you are me. Just in a different body in a different country. Great video, lots of insights
W Video Coco 💪💪
I really really like this video Coco!! You did a rlly good job. Me personally have been single for years to and literally facing the same question. After watching this video I just feel like "oh there is someone else having the same feelings about the modern relationship and single life" “不要因为别人都交了试卷就匆匆写下自己的答案” 这句话也送给你Coco！l really like your video and lifestyle!!
Aww I love that quote! Thank you for your comment🫶🏻
Coco, so like this type of video, please do more!
okieeee
非常认同，很巧可以在刚想完这些事情之后看到这个视频 Thanks for sharing!
So relatable!
I really like listening to you speak English, I like your pronunciation! I am studying in Australia now. And...I remember we have the same day birthday!^^ That's why we think so much the same way of life and relationships
This kind of reminds me of what my brother told me 6 years ago: it's better to be with no one than the wrong one.
I have been in several relationships before, and I would say that devotion to someone makes us change who we are and what we do, but change is simply hard. It's like me changing my daily routine to taking cold showers, 4 meals a day, no junk food, exercise every other day, 8 hours of sleep, limit time on computer, etc. It's possible but one needs to accept that change. If we are comfortable enough in our situation, then there's no need to change. So all in all, it depends on where one is at in their life and how desperate they are to date.
wow thats why I felt so connected to your personality watching your videos, I feel like we are so similar as people and share a lot of the same values. I had to pause the video 4 minutes in because I relate so hard to every single word you said in the upbringing and personality section it's unsettling. Is being emotionally independent and avoiding attachment style common for middle children or just an asian child thing lol?
so good once subtitle added in coco's video
Is nice to just listening to you talking about things. Is just so calm and fun. Great try, looking forward to the next topic 😉
woohoo thanks a lot!
Nice video,coco
I am 27 years old.
I have never been in a relationship.
and its completely normal in my society.
and since i am here
I am telling you its okay.
Take your time
Bro it’s crazy how described what I do with my emotions too. I don’t want to be an emotional burden either I totally get it. Also a middle child 🫡
Reading the title from notification, I thought it was a message for me.
This is so very therapeutic for me who recently accepted that having a girlfriend isn't for me but hey I'm proud of it i can do what i can do and i can go out with my comfort zone its just that its too hard to see in this generation because many things has been normalized and its so scary.
Always enjoyable and I'm a middle child too. :) Love all your content.
aww middle child high-five
Thank you coco this helped me.. am starting college and was worried but this video put me at peace. Thank you
There is no one other than yourself to truly love when you reach the pinnacle level of maturity. So being single is actually often an act of very mature people because they either cannot find someone on their level or they don’t see the need to find someone. Because there is so many options and one person can be the most perfect so no point finding that someone.
and being independent is actually not a bad thing because you don’t need to depend on others for your needs and you are always in control. People that say otherwise in fact are the weaker ones because they need someone to complete themselves.
Actual GirlBoss!!! Keep it up!
Thank you! Will do!
You are so adorable, coco.
Don't lower your standards only to regret it. You will definitely find the right jerk that'll make you happy. It'll be worth your time, and it'll just be natural not forced. When that happens, you'll feel comfortable being vulnerable around them.
You're like a an 11/10, so keep going.
I'm sure I speak for many guys when I say that I'd be scared shitless to approach you because you're so beautiful.
I LOVE this one
Having a partner does not mean that you will lose freedom.
A good partner will let you have your personal time for hobbies, and doing what you want. But also finding that warm atmosphere when spending time together.
Also, sometimes you can discover yourself better when you interact with people that you are emotionally attached ( your behavior most likely will change).
If you havent found that person, its ok, life will happen.
Nice content!
I went on a lot of Hinge dates in the past year and what I learned is it really is about finding the right person who is a great "match" for you! It's not worth dating someone (seriously) unless you both genuinely really, really like each other and it feels so easy imo :copium:
You do you! It's your life and journey.
lol k
Gorgeous people are always the loneliest. I resonate with you.
Coco, you're cooking rn. And I'm sure you'll eat soon. So continue the grind and gl!
ayooo just found this channel.
how is this cutie pie single. this is absurd.
can’t agree with your values more
IMO/IME: Since you are close with your brother, there's a good chance your 1st boyfriend will either be one of your brother's friends ... or one of your friend's brothers. That same vibe of wanting to "love and protect" / "love and feel protected" ends up naturally happening. Another strong possibility will be your friend's friend or group activities/events. Keep doing group activities will be a more relaxing, fun, and more effective way than going on "dates". (BTW, for all of these I mean spontaneously/naturally it happens, no set ups and no formal dates. You just hang out and naturally it happens.)
Can relate so much 😢
世界上怎么会有如此合我胃口的博主 长相和穿搭 读的专业居住的城市 生活方式 剪辑风格视频内容 全都踩我点上 连没有恋爱的原因每句话都是我想说的 coco是我素未谋面的地球另一边的朋友 🎉
There's nothing wrong with being "picky", if you're comfortable being single, then any prospect of a relationship needs to be better than what you currently have, for you to want to give up that single life. A relationship for the sake of it is a waste of your time, that's not being picky, that's simply knowing what you want, the same way that there are no picky eaters, only people who know the type of food they like.
Nice, pretty much everything hit home 😅🤣
Overcome that fear!
couldn't relate more
Another Coco single video
just want to tell you, it is a good video 😄
im 30 and never dated and its all good. go at your own pace, everyone's journey is unique, enjoy yours =)
You're beautiful cocoxD
u should never rush it but u should absolutely consider me coco
pls do a podcast Coco!!
it's a dream of mine
单身两年了，目前的感觉跟coco一样，周围人不断开始新的关系让我逐渐开始怀疑自己，不过coco是回避型人格吗 在情感上害怕一个人过于接近自己 世另我555