As a professional Chef, I found this story to be incredibly amusing and fun to read to read. I actually sympathize with the main character over a lot of things he did and defended. And I loved the fact the Jalapeno Poppers became weapons. Great story!!
Forget Tangled, do you realize how many parents have used the threat of that particular blunt weapon in family interactions? Of course the best weapon for such discussions is the infamous wooden spoon.😉
In TWI the innkeeper uses a cast iron pan as her primary weapon, along with a kitchen knife. She has fought off a horde of zombies with these weapons, and slain giant crabs with nothing but peach pits and a _jar of bees._
My buddy would make them all weep. He was posted in India and got hooked on spicy food. The dude actually drinks ghost pepper sauce casually. Face still goes red, or as red as a black guy’s face can get, but you never hear the same choking voice everyone else gets at that point. Lord have mercy if he breaths in your direction or if he’s breaking wind. I’d sooner take a mixture of ammonia and bleach, which had me almost coughing up blood.
I love the implication of the image at 29:48 that humanity's leadership had to call an emergency meeting to discuss the MC's food shenanigans and now they're all making a show of pondering really, _really_ hard what this means for our diplomatic position, all while desperately trying not to be the first one to bust up laughing.
I must have listened to a good hundred or so SF stories on UA-cam now and this is literally THE first one I've actually chuckled almost all the way through. Nice writing. If this is AI, give that machine an extra jolt of electricity! If human, pat them on the back a lot!
Some are ai but many are read by actual people. I'm pretty sure though MOST are WRITTEN by AI. It's a genre derived from the short story called 'Deathworlders'. It depicts a VERY legitimate claim that Earth is full of crazy shit that could easily kill us but we survive all the time that alien species WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO survive. I mean, who the hell EATS poison and goes 'mmm, let me add that to a soup' (Tomato plant is TECHNICALLY poisonous-humans drink stinging nettle tea).
Some of the vids could be written by AI, but since I'm new on this channel and just watched 3 videos so far, I'll reserve my judgement for later The voice is definitely AI tho (as far as I can tell) Edit: I have already watched some videos, not a lot at this point in time but some and in my opinion, some videos do have that "Written by AI" thing as the plot gets wierd at times OR, its just written by a kid and is soon just paraphrased or something
0:30 Fun fact: The most common active ingredient in spices is capsaicin. While milk does help reduce the severity, as milk acts as a surfactant. The really good one is, if your an adult, to gargle alcohol. capsaicin is soluble in alcohol. If you can't, concentrate lemon juice in water with a bit of sugar to flavor does well. Not as well as alcohol for solubility, but I find it better than milk long.
Well, that explains why I found beer to work well, but the Iranians and Indians have a yogurt dish that is served with spicy meals. It often contains parsley and cucumber, though sometimes it contains garlic or onion. Sorry, it's been over a decade and I can't remember the name(s), and it may also be be available in Turkey and/or Greece.
DO NOT GARGLE ALCOHOL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. while in THEORY it works, it REALLY doesn't. alcohol and capsaicin activate the same receptors and actually *AMPLIFY*.
Odd coincidence - I mentioned to someone just today, when I was in my 20s, I could eat jalapeno peppers straight with no chaser. I also mentioned that milk was the best thing to take the sting out of the spice.
I once ordered pickled hot peppers on a sandwich at a Midwestern [mittelAmerika] sandwich shop, to have the young server horrified and try to dissuade me. I could have taken advantage of him by betting that I could just eat one plain, but I just said I could and offered to prove it. I got a free mouthful of tasty pickled pepper, and the astonished reactions of the people in the shop. I guess milk works, but I have found beer or ale to be very satisfactory, and I'm told that bread works well [which explains the effectiveness of grain-based beer]. Does milk or yogurt actually work? Yogurt seems to work with spicy Indo-Pak foods, so probably.
@@JMM33RanMA everything with texture to rub the stuff from your mouth.......i think the funniest thing was, when my Turkish friend warned me from the "spicy" turkish pizza, that was just eaten by me with a straight face and than i made her an indian dish and she surrendered at spoon 2 :3
@@JMM33RanMA i think, she was thinking, that the german guy would have problems with the Pul Biber on Lahmacun, some of these chilli Biber spices are actual sharp, but i eat indian curries....so yea.
Omg, My sides hurt from laughing. I'm with the aliens. While I do enjoy flavor (especially garlic) I cannot handle "spicy". My dad on the other hand makes (what he claims to be) a mean 4-alarm chili...sweating and blowing his nose with each bite as his face turns an interesting color of magenta.
What some people can do with spicyness I can do with sourness, I treat war heads like popcorn and the only way it would change my expression is if i choke on a handful of them I am of the same opinion as the first dude(the 7 foot tall carapace one) my taste buds are sensitive as hell to the heat
Personally, I've never been a fan of overly spicy food, due to personal taste (and later, medical reasons). But it's heartening to know that I can handle a mild beef curry that would put an alien warrior on his back... Go me! Also, God help the aliens if they find a Dorset Naga or a Ghost Chilli. Lastly, I giggled like a schoolgirl from start to finish. 😂
This was such a cool story (or is it)! I love the fact that the frying pan is considered a deadly weapon in three star systems! I giggled at my desk several times listening to the story. I love it, and keep them coming!
Im new to this whole genre, and cant believe how amusing the concept of human adaptation to mundane substances being considered so extreme makes for a story. I guess it's very "human" of me to assume advanced life could evolve to be so fragile and somehow survive to sentience. I can only wish i live long enough to be pdoven right, or wrong for that matter.
@Unknown-hb3id My all time favorite is the Junkyard. Bacon wrapped dog with raw onion and mustard. My boys really liked it, same with my Polish and German Mac. Just use either Keilbasa or Bratwurst then add it to the Mac, juices n' all.
Hm. You know, if you measure the molecular structure of a pepper and cross-reference it with the scoville scale, "spiciness" is already a mathematical equation.
I would love to see a lot of these stories made into individual TV shows like the "outer limits", but like " In Living Color", "Mad TV", and early years "SNL" style humor. 🤣
I haven't seen it in years, but there was a High Sci-Fi story describing human chemical warfare not doing jack squat against alien militaries. Entering/overrunning human settlements however, was horrifying! Salts, sugars, acids, and highly reactive ingredients strewn about in eating areas, in homes! Sprinkler systems caused a soldier made up of silica, iron, and sulfur to dissolve swiftly. His body pulsing with electrical charges in an attempt to repair, causing electrolysis. The increase in hydrogen gas caused another to break out in blisters. Battlefield, easy. Restaurants and homes, death incarnate.
Wonderful! It's really funny but wasabi is just Japanese horseradish, some German and Polish mustards have that as a component. In fact, some less than ethical "Japanese" restaurants in the US have been caught using green colored horseradish instead of wasabi. either way it is a great opener of congested nasal passages. This is an example of a well done somewhat offbeat topic.
Dave's Insanity Sauce? I tried that stuff. Taste was wonderful. Only problem? It gave me nosebleeds. I figured if it made my nose bleed, what was it doing inside... So I stopped using it.
When i was in the army at Ft. Riley Kansas our cooks had hot wing Fridays, with a special sauce they made that you could get and if you could eat all the wings you pic went up on a board for all to see. They were forced to quit as soldiers were going to the doctor whining about it burned when they went to take a dump and would get 24 hrs off. the military doc for our battalion said the sauce is like getting a sunburn inside your body, which isnt true since sunburns are done my UV exposure not chemical exposure and a sunburn is different from a chemical burn (which is actually what was happening from the pepper oils in the sauce). And whats more the morons would repeatedly do it or even do it on their own time ordering hotwings from restaurants so its not like they didnt know its going to burn on the way out.
Perhaps they'd like some of my wife's mac-n-cheese with the pablano pepper, some of my spicy roast chicken sprinkled in like others use bacon crumbles. 😊 so good or fire the charcoal, and I'll throw a whole brisket with my secret rub in it.
That sounds good, but I'm a big fan of Chipotle, red and brown. I've had to give up the spicier foods do to age [I still like curries, real Mexican, Sechwan and Korean food, though] affecting my digestive system..
if the galactic council has any shred of self preservation they will leave human restaurants alone. because they dont want to find out what happens when we turn our food into actual warcrimes that make the geneva conventions look like childs play.
Never storm a chef's kitchen whilst: 1. The chef themselves is present 2. They're cooking for an important event 3. You're unsanitary for kitchen conditions
if coffee is a military-level stimulant, then a regular monster (or any other energy drink) would be considered a super-soldier formula. And amphetamine would probably be considered a lethal weapon
I'd totally want to walk up and ask for as many dishes and drinks that have the regular poisons we enjoy if I were a human seeing that. Something mildly spicy, coffee, something with alcohol and something with mint to end the meal with. Just to remind them, we enjoy the poisons earth plants have come up with.
This one is good, I found it funny but true at the same time. Capsaicin is produced by plants as a safety mechanism and by that logic, a weapon. But we just eat the stuff like potato chips lol
There was a Reddit post about D&D dwarves having a reputation for bland food because they have extreme poison resistance I don't know what spices are considered survivable to other species. "Humans can eat salt right? No wait, that's a rock, and humans don't eat rocks." It would also explain their love for beer. They actually only love it about as much as we do, but since they are resistant to poisons they have to drink a barrel or 2 before they begin to feel anything.
Home made Polish horseradish should be included for a part two. My great-grandmother made stuff that put any store bought version to shame. It was also hotter than the wasabi served in Japanese restaurants that (pause for emphasis) Japanese people go to. --- Off point: I had a college roommate from Tokyo. He told me it's very simple to identify a good Japanese restaurant. Look in the window during the dinner rush. If a third or more of the customers appear to be Japanese then it's at least decent. The higher the percentage Japanese customers, the better it is. If you see only westerners, don't even bother going in.
Whatever the aliens eat has to be very bland compared to what humans can eat. Who would have thought that Earth spices are considered chemical weapons by the aliens? Or that Earth spices have differing effects on each species? How do the aliens get anything done with all the safety protocols they have? How do they get around to eating given the same protocols? Maybe the protocols should be amended so that eating Earth food isn't so complicated.
Their food is safe, unlike ours. And judging by reactions of unprepared customers, safety protocols are justified - you don't want to make whole space station have breathing issues, just because you made your dish a bit too spicy. In those stories Earth is classified as Deathworld, so obviously substances from Earth would be considered dangerous.
I did go to a hot-pepper shop and tasted their sauces ... i can't understand what the USA likes about those vinegar-sauces so much - they are just horrendous. But they did have 2 really had sauces. Just had to sign a waiver and show and ID, and the 2 drops i got on my empty stomach really did me dirty. Now i have 3 bottles of them, 1 is nearly empty. Just a few drops and a large pot of chilli really gets hot and firey. And i have to warn people not to touch the bottle or even open it when they are not well accustomed to hot stuff (yes - the smell is strong enough to get people to get red and start sweating - aside from the obvious coughing fit).
i can just imagine him also have at least 1 expert chef from each of gaia's culinary 'families' with their associated sue chef's and trainees as the kitchen brigade when ever a customer comes that wants to pay for TRUE! custom manually cooked dishes also , unlike what the story says i doubt anyone of the regulars on that whole food court lvl moved an inch when hearing the A.I name what area that caused it for the like , 30th time that month in a row as they all just groan and mumble about ''i hoppe its just tourists being idiots trying to carry out left overs without proper sealed cotainers and not some sodding activist that learned yes , some bio compounds can melt even military grade armour alloy's if directly exposed'' XD
As a professional Chef, I found this story to be incredibly amusing and fun to read to read. I actually sympathize with the main character over a lot of things he did and defended. And I loved the fact the Jalapeno Poppers became weapons. Great story!!
"These Garnishes would not go to waste" Fuck I felt that in my soul
To be fair this gives ‘What do you mean dangerous, we Glorps eat enriched uranium all the time’ not realizing it’s dangerous to others
To be fair, a cast iron pan can absolutely be classified as a blunt weapon in a pinch. They were pretty effective in Tangled after all.
I can never feel comfortable in my kitchen if I don't have my first cast iron pan in it.
Forget Tangled, do you realize how many parents have used the threat of that particular blunt weapon in family interactions? Of course the best weapon for such discussions is the infamous wooden spoon.😉
In TWI the innkeeper uses a cast iron pan as her primary weapon, along with a kitchen knife. She has fought off a horde of zombies with these weapons, and slain giant crabs with nothing but peach pits and a _jar of bees._
*insert TF2 Pan Hit Sound*
"remember tears are normal it means you're doing it right" to "I don't even have tear ducts" killed me lol.
My buddy would make them all weep. He was posted in India and got hooked on spicy food. The dude actually drinks ghost pepper sauce casually. Face still goes red, or as red as a black guy’s face can get, but you never hear the same choking voice everyone else gets at that point. Lord have mercy if he breaths in your direction or if he’s breaking wind. I’d sooner take a mixture of ammonia and bleach, which had me almost coughing up blood.
A$$e$ of fire 🔥.
Your buddy is now my hero.
Bro sounds like me, i have some daves gormet that i put on everything from rice to pizza and i LOVE dried reapers
I love ghost peppers, but they are not the hottest.
I actually grow reaper peppers, and Apollo peppers.
I love the implication of the image at 29:48 that humanity's leadership had to call an emergency meeting to discuss the MC's food shenanigans and now they're all making a show of pondering really, _really_ hard what this means for our diplomatic position, all while desperately trying not to be the first one to bust up laughing.
I love how humanity is just just these monsters born on a horrific death world.
To be fair, we are. We're on the path to create a new global mass extinction and our planet's natural history is summarized in "then, they died.".
"As in the last vexathor who tried beans caused a hull break in deck seven"
GOSHDAMN 💀
I must have listened to a good hundred or so SF stories on UA-cam now and this is literally THE first one I've actually chuckled almost all the way through. Nice writing. If this is AI, give that machine an extra jolt of electricity! If human, pat them on the back a lot!
Some are ai but many are read by actual people. I'm pretty sure though MOST are WRITTEN by AI. It's a genre derived from the short story called 'Deathworlders'. It depicts a VERY legitimate claim that Earth is full of crazy shit that could easily kill us but we survive all the time that alien species WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO survive. I mean, who the hell EATS poison and goes 'mmm, let me add that to a soup' (Tomato plant is TECHNICALLY poisonous-humans drink stinging nettle tea).
Definitely AI voice, not sure about the writing.
Some of the vids could be written by AI, but since I'm new on this channel and just watched 3 videos so far, I'll reserve my judgement for later
The voice is definitely AI tho (as far as I can tell)
Edit: I have already watched some videos, not a lot at this point in time but some and in my opinion, some videos do have that "Written by AI" thing as the plot gets wierd at times OR, its just written by a kid and is soon just paraphrased or something
@@spamuel98 completely 100% AI - everything on this channel is.
galactic karens... "i dont like it so no one else should have it"...
0:30
Fun fact: The most common active ingredient in spices is capsaicin.
While milk does help reduce the severity, as milk acts as a surfactant.
The really good one is, if your an adult, to gargle alcohol. capsaicin is soluble in alcohol.
If you can't, concentrate lemon juice in water with a bit of sugar to flavor does well. Not as well as alcohol for solubility, but I find it better than milk long.
Unfortunately alcohol is also forbidden substance for aliens, while lemon juice is restricted due to being acidic.
Well, that explains why I found beer to work well, but the Iranians and Indians have a yogurt dish that is served with spicy meals. It often contains parsley and cucumber, though sometimes it contains garlic or onion. Sorry, it's been over a decade and I can't remember the name(s), and it may also be be available in Turkey and/or Greece.
DO NOT GARGLE ALCOHOL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
while in THEORY it works, it REALLY doesn't. alcohol and capsaicin activate the same receptors and actually *AMPLIFY*.
I think is Raita you're thinking of ? Its simmilar to tzatziki. @@JMM33RanMA
Odd coincidence - I mentioned to someone just today, when I was in my 20s, I could eat jalapeno peppers straight with no chaser. I also mentioned that milk was the best thing to take the sting out of the spice.
I'm 56 yrs old I still eat jalapeno out of the jar as a snack
I once ordered pickled hot peppers on a sandwich at a Midwestern [mittelAmerika] sandwich shop, to have the young server horrified and try to dissuade me. I could have taken advantage of him by betting that I could just eat one plain, but I just said I could and offered to prove it. I got a free mouthful of tasty pickled pepper, and the astonished reactions of the people in the shop.
I guess milk works, but I have found beer or ale to be very satisfactory, and I'm told that bread works well [which explains the effectiveness of grain-based beer]. Does milk or yogurt actually work? Yogurt seems to work with spicy Indo-Pak foods, so probably.
@@JMM33RanMA everything with texture to rub the stuff from your mouth.......i think the funniest thing was, when my Turkish friend warned me from the "spicy" turkish pizza, that was just eaten by me with a straight face and than i made her an indian dish and she surrendered at spoon 2 :3
@@apollomars1678 Etli pide isn't usually spicy, but it might be in Gaziantep. I usually add chipotle to my pizza and pasta sauce.
@@JMM33RanMA i think, she was thinking, that the german guy would have problems with the Pul Biber on Lahmacun, some of these chilli Biber spices are actual sharp, but i eat indian curries....so yea.
13:13 Fair point
We all know a "do *NOT* talk to me before my morning coffee" person.
Omg, My sides hurt from laughing. I'm with the aliens. While I do enjoy flavor (especially garlic) I cannot handle "spicy". My dad on the other hand makes (what he claims to be) a mean 4-alarm chili...sweating and blowing his nose with each bite as his face turns an interesting color of magenta.
What some people can do with spicyness
I can do with sourness,
I treat war heads like popcorn and the only way it would change my expression is if i choke on a handful of them
I am of the same opinion as the first dude(the 7 foot tall carapace one) my taste buds are sensitive as hell to the heat
Personally, I've never been a fan of overly spicy food, due to personal taste (and later, medical reasons).
But it's heartening to know that I can handle a mild beef curry that would put an alien warrior on his back... Go me!
Also, God help the aliens if they find a Dorset Naga or a Ghost Chilli.
Lastly, I giggled like a schoolgirl from start to finish. 😂
A Carolina Reaper would absolutely conquer the galaxy.... or END it...
@@diarradunlap9337 That and now Pepper X - made by the same guy as the Carolina Reaper but even hotter now
Just thought of something, The Texas Chili cookoff.
The blanching when someone says, "Hey guys, lets get some curry like mom made."
To the aliens in the story, it would be classified as an human convention of chemical warfare. Poor zixxitics🤣🤣🤣
I loved Ray Stevens' video portraying that. It was based on an internet joke that would make the rounds every few years. The ending is a real hoot.
❤❤❤❤We all need an ambassador Blob in our corner 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This was such a cool story (or is it)! I love the fact that the frying pan is considered a deadly weapon in three star systems! I giggled at my desk several times listening to the story. I love it, and keep them coming!
Coffee Warlord. I'm dyin' over here.
Im new to this whole genre, and cant believe how amusing the concept of human adaptation to mundane substances being considered so extreme makes for a story.
I guess it's very "human" of me to assume advanced life could evolve to be so fragile and somehow survive to sentience. I can only wish i live long enough to be pdoven right, or wrong for that matter.
The extra warm Cajun seasoning salt might be a good choice.
I love stories of human food served to aliens 🤣😅🤣
Have you seen humans before their coffee? I'm preventing violence!!! 😂😂 that's gold!!!!
"A war crime with cheese" is probably my favorite thing I've heard tonight.
To be honest, Buffalo Mac n Cheese sounds really good.
It's pretty common in modern day
@@EspartanicaTry Mac n' Pulled Pork. Good stuff.
@@genericnamehere7602 I do mine with hotdog and bell peppers - delicacy during college lol
@Unknown-hb3id My all time favorite is the Junkyard. Bacon wrapped dog with raw onion and mustard. My boys really liked it, same with my Polish and German Mac. Just use either Keilbasa or Bratwurst then add it to the Mac, juices n' all.
"Lets go make poor life choices" they captured human beings so well
Sooo... Aliens love British food?
Especially the beans on toast
Lol
Gamer supps, citric acid, MSG, ghost pepper hot sauce... my pantry needs to be quarantined!!
To be fair, I've seen my gf without coffee and she's been ready to choke me. I mean, I liked it but I don't want her to start a war...
ayooo????
Fabulous! Great from the beginning to the end!
lol... 'Idon't even have tear ducts that doesn't make sense!' *ignores it!*
i could not stop the laughter during the whole story! one of the best ive heard in the year!
Hm. You know, if you measure the molecular structure of a pepper and cross-reference it with the scoville scale, "spiciness" is already a mathematical equation.
HAH.
I'm a walking chemical wepon disposal unit then.
GIVE ME THE SIRACHA AND TABASCO WATER GUN IM GOING FISHING!
I just love the idea that in these story we are the only species what can enjoy spicy food. Its so funny to me, i love this concept
The thumbnail be like ;
*Screeches* Translation: "Let him cook"
I don't normally like these, but this got enough laughs from me that I had to give it a like hahahaha
"But I dont't even have tear ducts!!😂
9:16 "Slighty illegal Flour" ....
ChefMorrison.... Are we talking about Flour or THAT "Flour"? XD
Favor not flour, he needed a shipping captain to do/get something for him.
I can definitely go to war if I don't get my morning cup of joe. 🤣☕👍
Love all these stories. In the 1960s I got the little Science Fiction magazines - wish I still had them all.
Started using Dave's Insanity Sauce when it came out many years ago.. too funny
Some of these sci-fi short stories would make for either an entertaining and often funny, engaging, and action packed sci-fi anime movie/tv series.
This was amazingly well written
I would love to see a lot of these stories made into individual TV shows like the "outer limits", but like " In Living Color", "Mad TV", and early years "SNL" style humor. 🤣
Me over here with cats tongue *smiles from across the food court while wondering their reaction to the ghost pepper would be*
well this escalated fast. But keep at this. This is to funny.
Ponders what those inspectors would do if they actually saw true human chemical weapons
Hey, they think we put mustard gas on our food!
I haven't seen it in years, but there was a High Sci-Fi story describing human chemical warfare not doing jack squat against alien militaries. Entering/overrunning human settlements however, was horrifying! Salts, sugars, acids, and highly reactive ingredients strewn about in eating areas, in homes! Sprinkler systems caused a soldier made up of silica, iron, and sulfur to dissolve swiftly. His body pulsing with electrical charges in an attempt to repair, causing electrolysis. The increase in hydrogen gas caused another to break out in blisters.
Battlefield, easy. Restaurants and homes, death incarnate.
Wonderful! It's really funny but wasabi is just Japanese horseradish, some German and Polish mustards have that as a component. In fact, some less than ethical "Japanese" restaurants in the US have been caught using green colored horseradish instead of wasabi. either way it is a great opener of congested nasal passages. This is an example of a well done somewhat offbeat topic.
DAVE'S INSANITY HAS BEEN MENTIONED HELL YES
Thanks!
I love these "humans are scary stories", but this is easily my favorite so far, bar none.
Dave's Insanity Sauce? I tried that stuff. Taste was wonderful. Only problem? It gave me nosebleeds.
I figured if it made my nose bleed, what was it doing inside... So I stopped using it.
When i was in the army at Ft. Riley Kansas our cooks had hot wing Fridays, with a special sauce they made that you could get and if you could eat all the wings you pic went up on a board for all to see. They were forced to quit as soldiers were going to the doctor whining about it burned when they went to take a dump and would get 24 hrs off. the military doc for our battalion said the sauce is like getting a sunburn inside your body, which isnt true since sunburns are done my UV exposure not chemical exposure and a sunburn is different from a chemical burn (which is actually what was happening from the pepper oils in the sauce). And whats more the morons would repeatedly do it or even do it on their own time ordering hotwings from restaurants so its not like they didnt know its going to burn on the way out.
I enjoyed this story so much 😂😂😂”I don’t even have tear ducts”😂😂😂
Just going to leave this here... This restaurant is run Grillmaster 76. Jack Morrison is the name of Soldier 76 from Overwatch.
S.S.
Perhaps they'd like some of my wife's mac-n-cheese with the pablano pepper, some of my spicy roast chicken sprinkled in like others use bacon crumbles. 😊 so good or fire the charcoal, and I'll throw a whole brisket with my secret rub in it.
That sounds good, but I'm a big fan of Chipotle, red and brown. I've had to give up the spicier foods do to age [I still like curries, real Mexican, Sechwan and Korean food, though] affecting my digestive system..
The crystalline being essentially sitting in the corner recording and yelling World Star will never not be funny
if the galactic council has any shred of self preservation they will leave human restaurants alone. because they dont want to find out what happens when we turn our food into actual warcrimes that make the geneva conventions look like childs play.
These aliens, I think, need to be permanently quarantined from all humans.
I fear a fart could kill entire cities.
I love Humans are space orcs stories
Never storm a chef's kitchen whilst:
1. The chef themselves is present
2. They're cooking for an important event
3. You're unsanitary for kitchen conditions
if coffee is a military-level stimulant, then a regular monster (or any other energy drink) would be considered a super-soldier formula. And amphetamine would probably be considered a lethal weapon
Absolutely hilarious, thank you!
I'd totally want to walk up and ask for as many dishes and drinks that have the regular poisons we enjoy if I were a human seeing that.
Something mildly spicy, coffee, something with alcohol and something with mint to end the meal with. Just to remind them, we enjoy the poisons earth plants have come up with.
Lol, great story! Makes me wonder what category plain salt would be in 🤔👍👍👍
Nice touch making Wasabi the condiment of choice for the sushi like aliens…
Blorp finally got a win!!!
coffee warlord is hilarious
This one is good, I found it funny but true at the same time.
Capsaicin is produced by plants as a safety mechanism and by that logic, a weapon. But we just eat the stuff like potato chips lol
There was a Reddit post about D&D dwarves having a reputation for bland food because they have extreme poison resistance I don't know what spices are considered survivable to other species.
"Humans can eat salt right? No wait, that's a rock, and humans don't eat rocks."
It would also explain their love for beer. They actually only love it about as much as we do, but since they are resistant to poisons they have to drink a barrel or 2 before they begin to feel anything.
Home made Polish horseradish should be included for a part two. My great-grandmother made stuff that put any store bought version to shame. It was also hotter than the wasabi served in Japanese restaurants that (pause for emphasis) Japanese people go to.
---
Off point: I had a college roommate from Tokyo. He told me it's very simple to identify a good Japanese restaurant. Look in the window during the dinner rush. If a third or more of the customers appear to be Japanese then it's at least decent. The higher the percentage Japanese customers, the better it is. If you see only westerners, don't even bother going in.
“A war crime, with cheese.”
🤣🤣🤣
got a kick outta the audio "coup de grace" being auto translated into text as "cooter grass"
"cooter grass" sounds like a cool hillbilly punk band name.
Jack Morrison, so this is what soldiers 76 is doing after Overwatch
Ghost Pepper would've started the creation of Intergalactic Geneva Convention fr fr
Whatever the aliens eat has to be very bland compared to what humans can eat.
Who would have thought that Earth spices are considered chemical weapons by the aliens? Or that Earth spices have differing effects on each species?
How do the aliens get anything done with all the safety protocols they have? How do they get around to eating given the same protocols? Maybe the protocols should be amended so that eating Earth food isn't so complicated.
Their food is safe, unlike ours. And judging by reactions of unprepared customers, safety protocols are justified - you don't want to make whole space station have breathing issues, just because you made your dish a bit too spicy. In those stories Earth is classified as Deathworld, so obviously substances from Earth would be considered dangerous.
Soooo Good
It's 3am but I want a vindaloo with some peshwari naan now...
Let's start with something mild...Spicy Crunchy Garlic Sauce
This one actually had me laughing my ass off.
...where the food digests you.
Laughing my a** off the whole videos awesome very good story
I did go to a hot-pepper shop and tasted their sauces ... i can't understand what the USA likes about those vinegar-sauces so much - they are just horrendous. But they did have 2 really had sauces. Just had to sign a waiver and show and ID, and the 2 drops i got on my empty stomach really did me dirty. Now i have 3 bottles of them, 1 is nearly empty. Just a few drops and a large pot of chilli really gets hot and firey. And i have to warn people not to touch the bottle or even open it when they are not well accustomed to hot stuff (yes - the smell is strong enough to get people to get red and start sweating - aside from the obvious coughing fit).
Now bring out the puffer fish.
16:50 tbf that would be creating those diplomstic encounters with human cuisine
You should have started with breakfast then lunch and dinner, then dessert or coffee are glass of Sherry.
i can just imagine him also have at least 1 expert chef from each of gaia's culinary 'families' with their associated sue chef's and trainees as the kitchen brigade when ever a customer comes that wants to pay for TRUE! custom manually cooked dishes
also , unlike what the story says i doubt anyone of the regulars on that whole food court lvl moved an inch when hearing the A.I name what area that caused it for the like , 30th time that month in a row as they all just groan and mumble about ''i hoppe its just tourists being idiots trying to carry out left overs without proper sealed cotainers and not some sodding activist that learned yes , some bio compounds can melt even military grade armour alloy's if directly exposed'' XD
Coffee Warlord. I can get behind that.
It might be funny to see how this group reacts to humanity's actual chemical weapons 😂
That would be a Great PR strategy
Ok. This story was great, i legit did lauthed (idk how to spell) multipel times
This story should be in NSFW, the others can hear you laughing
Now I'm curious as to what they would classify the one chip challenge
graystillplays is the only coffee war lord
British Food would have solved this whole spice problem
I could see Marco Pierre White running this kitchen...🤣
Shiracha incident,... I would love to heard about that one,....
I wonder how they'd handle the cheesy chili pepper mashes potatoes I made last week
0.12 cool story and yes extreme humor thanks
OMG, I almost pissed myself !!!
I wonder how aliens feel about mustard