I'm a single mom of three... Just went out on a first date tonight set up by my coworkers... And I struggled even to the point of tears a couple days prior because of fear of this guy being a wrong pick. I simply asked God to be my guard, remembering that as my Father He cares for me. I had a great time after all and I'm just thanking God for the peace to have a simple good time. That's all I wanted it to be and that's what it was.
I remember struggling with ROCD, and a lot of Christian “dating advice” made it worse🤦🏽♂️I made a commitment to inner healing, spiritual growth, and reframing my concepts of God and now it’s virtually nonexistent, for all Those reading, there’s hope for you too! You’ll overcome this
@@missadug you’re welcome! The feelings feel so real but it’s all the enemy taking advantage of our weaknesses, im on the other side in marriage and it’s been a blessing
@@ATX_737 I feel you! The truth is, there actually no formula! The idea that there’s a quick fix or a formula is the very thing that’s causing suffering. What you’re actually experiencing is unresolved trauma that’s manifesting in the form of constant doubts, overthinking, and anxiety. I made a commitment to heal by constant prayer, and renewing my mind By watching videos such as this, and after awhile the symptoms vanished without me even realizing. Be encouraged though! What you’re experiencing won’t last forever and really is just growing pains
Thank you. You are a rare, christian voice on ocd and it sure is needed. The issues I face is usually that I make problems greater than what they actually are in my mind. Say I face a problem I see to be big. I start to obsess over it, my mind goes "bonkers" and works overtime, and now I got this increased anxiety when I could just acknowledge an issue, bring it to God, have a firm heart's stance on and with God that it will be ok, and now I just slowly take it step by step, but nooo... lol! As you said it is a process and we learn, fall and rise again, and I just hope we ocd-ers would change the mindset from perfectionism to grace-filled living and process
is it also a common thing where you convince yourself that feeling is the holy spirit and then you immediately think that if you ignore it you’re idolizing the relationship by disobeying God😭
Yup I’m in the same boat! As someone who’s overcome this I realized it wasn’t the Holy Spirit, his leading doesn’t involve torment. When it’s truly him there will be no doubt, and this is coming from an over thinker lol
Goodness I’ve struggled with this! I thought I was going crazy! I did get married 🎉 but still deal with it sometimes 😢 God is helping me heal and I’m so glad to have found your work!
This video is a whole blessing. I’ve had ROCD for years now and I’ve had therapy to help and tried ERP but I realized that I really need to heal from past wounds. I plan to get therapy very soon. So thank you for this video. 💕
Great video and much-appreciated!! I struggle much with relationship OCD and unfortunately it has inhibited a lot of potential relationships in my life.
The way i was pouting during this video was shameful! 🤣 I've never been in a romantic relationship, but i have felt these spinnie feelings in platonic ones. When You talked about God's will and how OCDers want God ( or someone ) to make the decisions for them i was like "So what?!". I was only like that because i knew you were telling the truth. This was a very on time video, but i would appreciate it if you would stop reading my diary! 🤣🤣 All in all, i learned ( even if my conclusion may be off topic ) that God can't lead me or help me if i don't make a move. This healing stuff is gonna be harder than i thought .😬😅
WOW! How exactly had I never heard of you until today?! What a blessing to have real, solid OCD guidance from not just a believer, but a believer who actually understands what it is and how to address it! And addresses how it can affect our spiritual lives as well! Thank you, and I'm thanking God for you and what you are doing.
I really really appreciate this video. Called me out. Would love to see more videos on this and specifically how to work through the endless rOCD fears without having to break up. What treatment and healing in Christ really looks like. You are one of the only Christians I’ve seen talking about this info and with secular sources, it is difficult to sort through everything biblically. Especially with ocd lol.
Wow! Just finished one week of intensive rosen methode body work and really got a deeper honest look in the mirror. And I start to realise that this is what I’m doing, and when you said that these people put them self through strange tests…. It really touched me. That’s what I’m doing, and have been doing for many years, out of nowhere - the general feeling of it for me!! Thank you, it’s not fun seeing that it’s actually one self doing this to one self but I think I’ve struggled for so long that I’m desperate to actually make a change because the obsession doesn’t really take me anywhere - but more anxiety!
This describes my Ex who I just broke up with to a tee. I’m going to try have one more conversation with her and send this video to her. I hope no matter what she can at least recognize this and grow so that she is able to have healthy relationships
THANK YOU for sharing this content. i have struggled with ROCD for years and hearing you talk about how Christianity can tie into it all helps me sooo much.
I struggle with thinking that the presence of sexual sin in a relationship is a sign from God that you’re supposed to break up, but maybe it’s a little more complicated than that? I’m not excusing sin, but have started to think that having sexual temptation with girlfriend isn’t a sign of one thing or another, just means that we are human and we have to surrender our flesh to Christ. It does not necessarily mean I’m supposed to break up or stay with her. But the lie I’ve struggled with is that because we’ve fallen together, is to think that God does not want us to be together. Any thoughts on this topic in general (without me getting into specifics of my situation)?
I would like to share. I agree on a lot of points in the video, but maybe God talks to everyone in a different way, but many times with me, I would have a disturbing sense "no that person is not for you" before I can formulate "why" and then something serious emurges ( lies or narcissist behavior) and that just proves to me I've heard clear right from God. His Holy Spirit can warn us before making important decisions whether on relationship, work, or else. The final decision is on us, but He can lead us to the right choices. And I'm learning to disern it and trust Him more in this. I guess the key for me is to keep walking, but have my hand open about that and this desicicion and ask Him to reveal to me what I need to know.
I believe sometimes God DOES tell someone ahead of time who'll they'll end up marrying. I've met too many couples that heard who their spouse was ahead of time and are still happily married. The majority had zero interest in the other at the beginning. On the same note, I've heard of people "hearing from God" and it never comes to fruition. A couple were even supposedly told someone already married was going to be their spouse...lol. God bless all of you!
my rocd startet 3 years ago when we spoke about moving in together and than 3-4 months later my thoughts startet to run against my girlfriend..."shes ugly" look at her " i dont love her" you dont love her" and i made the step forward and we moved in and then there was the fear of the fear what if i think again about this ? and i startet again rocd hit me like a hammer we married and have a daughter we want another child. and rocd is still doubting me and make me insecure in my decisions but there is no turning back. Make a decision and stay no mather what is going thru your head or what you feel...is all illusion feelings are illusions is a product out of your mind...
You man! Bro your advice is gem, I usually don't comment on any videos on YT but this was much needed. Thank you Ican get the gist of the video. Your way of explanation is just out of the world! Keep going and keep growing 💗
What do you do besides stand as a recent ex. With the same story? “It’s not when we’re out, just when we are home? He called everyday. We saw each other and everyday, spend the evening together then pulled the carpet again.
I keep putting off dating to improve myself further, like quitting bad habits taking care of my finances, emotional healing etc so that I can be the right person for my future wife. Keep feeling I’m not ready for marriage. and I also think if I improve myself more I’ll have a better chance of finding someone who’s a better match or of better quality. Is that also a ROCD thing?
I just want to connect with my wife. Talking with her doesn't work. Trying to explain my personality and why I think and do the things that I do to her doesn't work. She gets incredibly defensive and all that happens is she ends up criticizing me and blaming me for her defensive feelings when all I'm trying to do is just make a connection between us so that we can feel like anything but roommates. I don't really think I have relationship ocd, I think that there are just a lot of normal requirements in a regular healthy relationship that just aren't being met. Whenever I share my inner life with her I get no response. Whenever I share my struggles or inner battles with her I don't get any love or nurturing. Whenever I try to ask her what's going on with her so that I can nurture her she doesn't want to open up to me at all. I've never been with such an emotionally independent woman. All of my bids for connection just fall on deaf ears
I keep doubting myself if I love/loved her or not but I just keep getting stuck in this loop of questioning and doubting. And sadly, even after watching the video and relating to almost everything, I don't know how to decipher this love. I've already made the mistake of pushing her away and breaking up with her but even as friends now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm on the journey to learn to love and love myself. But now I'm scared that will I even get back with her or not, and whether all this will happen again, and if I'm having to force myself so much to stay, what is the point? We're both extremely comfortable with each other, we're good as friends, she amazing, she's smart, she's pretty, she's a great person. Some days, when I'm in the OCD loop, I don't see her for her and I get very self-confused and I start blaming myself for all this... What do I do to slowly make my way out of this?
Brother Mark, you may not have all the qualifications for a Therapist here on earth but I believe in heaven, you are given the Senior Therapist position, that I believe 😊
As true as it is, that I want the decision made for me in my relationships (even if I’m single now) I am not entirely sure if it’s for a wrong reason. My only request is that I marry someone who is a Christian. But every Christian girl I have known has said no to me. Am I holding myself back by not dating who I feel is right for me regardless of faith with that in mind?
I have a question, I’m a guy who’s in highschool and I want to date a girl. Here lies the problem, we can’t get married yet for years. I just want to ask for some insight on this. I do struggle with OCD but I’m committed to working through the heart healing process of learning how to be loved and love
I'm with a non believer and I'm sure that's not ok in God's eyes or other Christians eyes. He's good to me and my kids and is an amazing person. He's treating me better than "Christian" men I've ever dated. He knows I'm a believer in christ. I just keep praying he opens his eyes and heart to Christ.
I'm a single mom of three... Just went out on a first date tonight set up by my coworkers... And I struggled even to the point of tears a couple days prior because of fear of this guy being a wrong pick. I simply asked God to be my guard, remembering that as my Father He cares for me. I had a great time after all and I'm just thanking God for the peace to have a simple good time. That's all I wanted it to be and that's what it was.
I remember struggling with ROCD, and a lot of Christian “dating advice” made it worse🤦🏽♂️I made a commitment to inner healing, spiritual growth, and reframing my concepts of God and now it’s virtually nonexistent, for all
Those reading, there’s hope for you too! You’ll overcome this
Thank you for sharing this! It made me so hopeful!
@@missadug you’re welcome! The feelings feel so real but it’s all the enemy taking advantage of our weaknesses, im on the other side in marriage and it’s been a blessing
@@ATX_737 I feel you! The truth is, there actually no formula! The idea that there’s a quick fix or a formula is the very thing that’s causing suffering. What you’re actually experiencing is unresolved trauma that’s manifesting in the form of constant doubts, overthinking, and anxiety. I made a commitment to heal by constant prayer, and renewing my mind
By watching videos such as this, and after awhile the symptoms vanished without me even realizing. Be encouraged though! What you’re experiencing won’t last forever and really is just growing pains
@@dubem6671this comment made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing, I needed some hope today
So true! Christian dating advice is so generalized that for OCDers it’s such a trigger
Thank you. You are a rare, christian voice on ocd and it sure is needed.
The issues I face is usually that I make problems greater than what they actually are in my mind. Say I face a problem I see to be big. I start to obsess over it, my mind goes "bonkers" and works overtime, and now I got this increased anxiety when I could just acknowledge an issue, bring it to God, have a firm heart's stance on and with God that it will be ok, and now I just slowly take it step by step, but nooo... lol! As you said it is a process and we learn, fall and rise again, and I just hope we ocd-ers would change the mindset from perfectionism to grace-filled living and process
I heard a preacher say "You don't need a new wife, you need more patience." Amen
So funny to me how your videos are always right on time 😭
Litterally!!!
yes
Thank you for keepin it real seriously. This is OCD is common in a heck of a lot of the tribe. Mercy! So much confusion.
is it also a common thing where you convince yourself that feeling is the holy spirit and then you immediately think that if you ignore it you’re idolizing the relationship by disobeying God😭
This happens to me it’s crazy
Yup I’m in the same boat! As someone who’s overcome this I realized it wasn’t the Holy Spirit, his leading doesn’t involve torment. When it’s truly him there will be no doubt, and this is coming from an over thinker lol
@@yuh-n3f i feel you.
I feel like, I need to become the "right person", for my wife. I thank God every day for her. She married me! WOW 😮
Goodness I’ve struggled with this! I thought I was going crazy! I did get married 🎉 but still deal with it sometimes 😢 God is helping me heal and I’m so glad to have found your work!
The amount of freedom and relief this video has brought me is amazing. Thank you so much, Mark.
This video is a whole blessing. I’ve had ROCD for years now and I’ve had therapy to help and tried ERP but I realized that I really need to heal from past wounds. I plan to get therapy very soon. So thank you for this video. 💕
Wow you just talked about me, this was eye opening
Great video and much-appreciated!! I struggle much with relationship OCD and unfortunately it has inhibited a lot of potential relationships in my life.
The way i was pouting during this video was shameful! 🤣
I've never been in a romantic relationship, but i have felt these spinnie feelings in platonic ones. When You talked about God's will and how OCDers want God ( or someone ) to make the decisions for them i was like "So what?!". I was only like that because i knew you were telling the truth.
This was a very on time video, but i would appreciate it if you would stop reading my diary! 🤣🤣
All in all, i learned ( even if my conclusion may be off topic ) that God can't lead me or help me if i don't make a move. This healing stuff is gonna be harder than i thought .😬😅
Think about it is easy doing it is hard we must trust in The Holy spirts voice
Convicting. Man I still have a long way to go...at least I'm not where I was
WOW! How exactly had I never heard of you until today?! What a blessing to have real, solid OCD guidance from not just a believer, but a believer who actually understands what it is and how to address it! And addresses how it can affect our spiritual lives as well! Thank you, and I'm thanking God for you and what you are doing.
I really really appreciate this video. Called me out. Would love to see more videos on this and specifically how to work through the endless rOCD fears without having to break up. What treatment and healing in Christ really looks like. You are one of the only Christians I’ve seen talking about this info and with secular sources, it is difficult to sort through everything biblically. Especially with ocd lol.
As a non-religious person, your content is really good and many of the things you say i can empathize.
Thank you! :)
best best best most enlightening video on OCD I have ever watched… thank you!
I been all over recovery channels about ocd. And they are slowly realizing that it's actually a journey like me. When I mean a lot I mean alot!
Wow! Just finished one week of intensive rosen methode body work and really got a deeper honest look in the mirror. And I start to realise that this is what I’m doing, and when you said that these people put them self through strange tests…. It really touched me. That’s what I’m doing, and have been doing for many years, out of nowhere - the general feeling of it for me!! Thank you, it’s not fun seeing that it’s actually one self doing this to one self but I think I’ve struggled for so long that I’m desperate to actually make a change because the obsession doesn’t really take me anywhere - but more anxiety!
This describes my Ex who I just broke up with to a tee. I’m going to try have one more conversation with her and send this video to her. I hope no matter what she can at least recognize this and grow so that she is able to have healthy relationships
THANK YOU for sharing this content. i have struggled with ROCD for years and hearing you talk about how Christianity can tie into it all helps me sooo much.
This video gave me so many epiphanies!! Thank you ♥️
I appreciate you talking about wanting God to tell us who our person is
I struggle with thinking that the presence of sexual sin in a relationship is a sign from God that you’re supposed to break up, but maybe it’s a little more complicated than that? I’m not excusing sin, but have started to think that having sexual temptation with girlfriend isn’t a sign of one thing or another, just means that we are human and we have to surrender our flesh to Christ. It does not necessarily mean I’m supposed to break up or stay with her. But the lie I’ve struggled with is that because we’ve fallen together, is to think that God does not want us to be together. Any thoughts on this topic in general (without me getting into specifics of my situation)?
I would like to share. I agree on a lot of points in the video, but maybe God talks to everyone in a different way, but many times with me, I would have a disturbing sense "no that person is not for you" before I can formulate "why" and then something serious emurges ( lies or narcissist behavior) and that just proves to me I've heard clear right from God. His Holy Spirit can warn us before making important decisions whether on relationship, work, or else. The final decision is on us, but He can lead us to the right choices. And I'm learning to disern it and trust Him more in this.
I guess the key for me is to keep walking, but have my hand open about that and this desicicion and ask Him to reveal to me what I need to know.
I believe sometimes God DOES tell someone ahead of time who'll they'll end up marrying. I've met too many couples that heard who their spouse was ahead of time and are still happily married. The majority had zero interest in the other at the beginning. On the same note, I've heard of people "hearing from God" and it never comes to fruition. A couple were even supposedly told someone already married was going to be their spouse...lol. God bless all of you!
OCD = You want someone to make all choices for you. This is so true even beyond dating
You are SPOT ON with so much of this...like those hypothetical tests...woah...but seriously, can I have Will's number?
At 13:30 when you start firing questions-- ive thought these all within the span of like 10 seconds on 10x speed lol
I would struggle so bad with religious ocd to the point where I only got like 2 hours of sleep. Thank you Mark for your passionate work
my rocd startet 3 years ago when we spoke about moving in together and than 3-4 months later my thoughts startet to run against my girlfriend..."shes ugly" look at her " i dont love her" you dont love her" and i made the step forward and we moved in and then there was the fear of the fear what if i think again about this ?
and i startet again rocd hit me like a hammer we married and have a daughter we want another child. and rocd is still doubting me and make me insecure in my decisions but there is no turning back. Make a decision and stay no mather what is going thru your head or what you feel...is all illusion feelings are illusions is a product out of your mind...
THANK YOU MAN
You man! Bro your advice is gem, I usually don't comment on any videos on YT but this was much needed. Thank you Ican get the gist of the video. Your way of explanation is just out of the world! Keep going and keep growing 💗
What do you do besides stand as a recent ex. With the same story? “It’s not when we’re out, just when we are home? He called everyday. We saw each other and everyday, spend the evening together then pulled the carpet again.
Fantastic content. Thank you.
I keep putting off dating to improve myself further, like quitting bad habits taking care of my finances, emotional healing etc so that I can be the right person for my future wife. Keep feeling I’m not ready for marriage. and I also think if I improve myself more I’ll have a better chance of finding someone who’s a better match or of better quality. Is that also a ROCD thing?
I just want to connect with my wife. Talking with her doesn't work. Trying to explain my personality and why I think and do the things that I do to her doesn't work. She gets incredibly defensive and all that happens is she ends up criticizing me and blaming me for her defensive feelings when all I'm trying to do is just make a connection between us so that we can feel like anything but roommates. I don't really think I have relationship ocd, I think that there are just a lot of normal requirements in a regular healthy relationship that just aren't being met. Whenever I share my inner life with her I get no response. Whenever I share my struggles or inner battles with her I don't get any love or nurturing. Whenever I try to ask her what's going on with her so that I can nurture her she doesn't want to open up to me at all. I've never been with such an emotionally independent woman. All of my bids for connection just fall on deaf ears
I keep doubting myself if I love/loved her or not but I just keep getting stuck in this loop of questioning and doubting. And sadly, even after watching the video and relating to almost everything, I don't know how to decipher this love.
I've already made the mistake of pushing her away and breaking up with her but even as friends now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm on the journey to learn to love and love myself. But now I'm scared that will I even get back with her or not, and whether all this will happen again, and if I'm having to force myself so much to stay, what is the point?
We're both extremely comfortable with each other, we're good as friends, she amazing, she's smart, she's pretty, she's a great person. Some days, when I'm in the OCD loop, I don't see her for her and I get very self-confused and I start blaming myself for all this...
What do I do to slowly make my way out of this?
Brother Mark, you may not have all the qualifications for a Therapist here on earth but I believe in heaven, you are given the Senior Therapist position, that I believe 😊
As true as it is, that I want the decision made for me in my relationships (even if I’m single now) I am not entirely sure if it’s for a wrong reason.
My only request is that I marry someone who is a Christian. But every Christian girl I have known has said no to me.
Am I holding myself back by not dating who I feel is right for me regardless of faith with that in mind?
Hi Mark, nice to see you on here. I’m still alive… lol made it to 77 can’t believe it .Hope your wife and family are well. Did you stay down South??
Denise B
South windsor
Hope you’re still blowing bubbles💕
I have a question, I’m a guy who’s in highschool and I want to date a girl. Here lies the problem, we can’t get married yet for years. I just want to ask for some insight on this. I do struggle with OCD but I’m committed to working through the heart healing process of learning how to be loved and love
So do i need to break up with my boyfriend to heal?
Can i personally talk to you im dealing with this lately all by myself on my own🤭
It is so hard to be in interracial marriage and have ocd&anxiety. Because the racism is a real fact not only a thought that doesn’t make any sense.
There appears to be no audio track
I can hear the sound...
I can hear, as well.
It wasn't there when I started the video, must have been an upload hiccup. I was wearing headphones when it happened
I'm with a non believer and I'm sure that's not ok in God's eyes or other Christians eyes. He's good to me and my kids and is an amazing person. He's treating me better than "Christian" men I've ever dated. He knows I'm a believer in christ. I just keep praying he opens his eyes and heart to Christ.
yes
I'm constantly looking inwards
I seem to seep out as I try to squeeze the love of god
❤
Lol. Biblical approach looks so weird. It's nothing like the Hallmark movies. What's up with that? 😆
Get to the point!