Narcissism vs Narcissistic - Here's The Important Difference
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- Опубліковано 6 жов 2020
- Narcissism is not a diagnosis. It’s a psychological concept that helps explain or define human behavior. It’s defined as love of the self.
The name comes from the Greek mythological character, Narcissus. Narcissus was a handsome hunter who fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. When he leaned down to kiss his reflection, he couldn’t see the face, so he continued to stare at the reflection until he died of thirst.
In its most basic form, narcissism as we use the term today, is neither good nor bad. It’s on a spectrum of healthy to pathological. Healthy narcissism is the ability to take pleasure in yourself and your accomplishments. You develop a healthy level of narcissism in childhood when you have parents who allow you the freedom form your own opinions and express your most vulnerable emotions in a supportive environment without criticism and shame.
So in essence, you’re supposed to love yourself. If you have a strong core of self-love and joy, you can sit in a job you hate and take the arrows that are thrown at you. The arrows may damage you superficially like making you unhappy at work, but you can withstand it because you still have your core that allows you to feel satisfaction with life on the inside.
Therefore, when you leave your job at the end of the day, you have the capacity to move on to something else that makes you happy and restores your damaged outer covering.
Pathological narcissism moves down the continuum in the direction of over-inflating your self-worth and doing things that are exclusively for your self-gratification and often to the detriment of others. For some people, this can look like the need to take from people to feel a gain, you tear people down to feel built up, someone else’s win is experienced as a loss for you.
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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
WATCH NEXT: How To Stop the Cycle of Negative Relationships ua-cam.com/video/8EhzjQ0HxI8/v-deo.html
Hey, nice video, and very complex topic.
I went through breaking out of being narcissistic, about a decade ago.
Specifically, I was only narcissistic for about 4 years, due to emotional trauma, and was then unable to feel love or real emotions. I was cold, and noticed how my increased brain-capacity enabled me to make observations other people would ignore. I chose Not to manipulate people, even though I saw how easy it could be.
Since then I have been thinking a lot about the subject of narcissism and the self.
Long ago, I read Freud's id-ego-superego model, and it resonated very well with my personal experience.
I have two questions, if you have the time.
The problem I identified within myself can be described as the defensive mechanisms of the Ego went from being reactions to becoming routine. I lost control. This eventually escalated into using a lot of my mental energy to suppress problems, which limits cognitive capacity and generates anxiety. If the conditions were managable, I excelled, but when I was faced with elements I could not master, I either exploded or collapsed. I had serious problems with admitting mistakes, to the point where I started realizing that there was something fundamentally wrong with my approach to several issues. But I had no idea how to stop it. Eventually I identified what I could only describe as my "unbreakable arrogance". I had serious conversations with friends, but the point they tried to make was completely invisible to me. *Then* I finally broke through the wall, swallowed all the bullshit, saw memories from a clear perspective, and realized how disconnected I had been from reality and myself.
From that point on, my approach to things was immediately changed, though it does require a lot of conscious self-regulation over time to create more solid thought-processes to easily follow. I was also finally able to once again experience love and real emotions.
1. Is there a name for this mental state or the process of breaking the wall, other than narcissism, within Psychology or Philosophy?
2. Is the above-defined problem all there is to narcissism, or is there a completely different type also?
If secondary narcissism is different from primary narcissism, then what I had experienced was probably secondary narcissism. I have always been a goodhearted and very diplomatic person since early childhood, but experiences would have my reactionary pattern change for the worse.
*Alas, a third question arises:* If there is a difference, is there no way for the Primary ones to transform, as I did?
In a perfect world, I believe the state of narcissism would be a Leadership type sacrifice for people to distance themselves from love and true fulfillment, as a sacrifice for the greater good. I know a lot of people give up and give in to all the urges, but to anyone reading I want you to know that it is possible to change if you truly want it.
(Though, I cannot speak for those who might be born a different way.)
*How to break free:*
- Have something to lose
- Have the will to change
- Have enough energy at the moment of breaking through
Safe surroundings help, too; especially in the early stages after.
PS:
I define 'ego' as an instinct that is meant to keep you alive, which includes keeping you from losing face among other people. Like admitting mistakes, or being caught in a lie.
Self-knowledge is needed to master oneself.
Finally.....somebody that actually speaks on the same level that i do. I've always loved myself and my accomplishments. This is or was something that i've been trying to explain to my Ex for several years. Thank you so much.
Ma'am, I'm in love with this channel
As good as we try to be, is it possible that other toxic individuals can try to push others to be bitter as them?
And is that another reason why we get dragged down with other's envy or jealousy?
And is people with low self-esteem a toxic narcissist main target to feel better about themselves?
Wisdom wisdom wisdom What a wonderful gift..
@@rocko3622 gotta learn to be your own person
I feel parenting makes a big difference. “2 cookies given with love is all the child ever needs. Any amount of cookies given without love will never be enough.” I feel a child needs to feel loved in order to have self love growing up. I really appreciate this video and learned a lot.
kaylashalaylaaaaa I hope you can find loving healing. Thanks for your insights. I had to unlearn so much from my parents. It was hard because even though I promised not to do what they did...,it was all I knew. Best wishes to you
Well said and explained Steve, now to memories it so I don’t stuff up the great message it gives / portrays
@@californiapoppyspanking is always wrong
@@pallaciccione7885 yes!
Of course they do!😉
Haha this turned into the classiest clap back ever 😂
Lol! I hadn’t thought of it that way.
It’s awesome isn’t it? Bet he didn’t expect that lol!
👏🏽👏🏽
I'm glad we kept it classy. "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist" 💟
LMAO 🤣🤣 YUP!!
I have analyzed over 20 years of my life in under 10 minutes. What a gift you have there, Dr. Marks. The evidence of your gift and impact on others is irrefutable. Peace and blessings!
Thanks so much Kenny!b😊❤️
Isn’t she great, Kenny! Not sure how I found her channel but I’m glad I did... it’s been very therapeutic for me.
John Holland Jr. indeed.
I second this.
Yes she is gift to mankind
It sounds like the difference is that healthy narcissism is "I matter." Unhealthy narcissism means, "I matter. You don't."
This was spectacular. The analogy of minimizing oneself in order to maintain relationships has definitely been me, and doing it because I felt I would lose people. Thank you for addressing this topic. I needed this listen this morning. Going to continue to work towards having a healthy level of narcissism.
Wonderful Vanetria! Go to it!! 😊
High five!
It's time to take space, own your life, achieve greatness, whatever that means to you. Grow and expand yourself but enjoy the journey, it's gonna be a long one, good luck!
No one needs narcissistic pathological, destructive self-love. Everyone needs authentic self-love and the belief that every person has equal dignity and worth. ... Subscribed. 😊
The only truth!! ❤ thank you
This video just broadened my perspective about narcissism, thank you💞
Same, my friend. Same.
Yeah, seeing it as a spectrum rather than just an outright bad thing has helped me wrap my noodle around it and perhaps understand better the complex relationship (or lack thereof) with my mother. I feel like that was achievement worthy in itself. (*Not expecting an award. Lol.)
So glad, I was hoping it would bring some balance to the topic.
As the daughter of a narcissist, I think it's dangerous to conflate the term narcissism with vanity or assertiveness. A malignant narcissist has sadistic traits. They don't mind hurting and even killing people to maintain their false self. When people use narcissism interchangeably with the true clinical meaning, they retraumatize victims of abuse. I heard that someone has proposed the term "sadistic personality disorder" to describe the clinical variant of the term. I think that this is a more apt description then malignant narcissism, as it's less inclined to be confused with the less pathological definition, which can simply be described as run of the mill vanity. A person can be vain, but not sadistic. A certain amount of vanity is essential, because everyone of us deserves to have a core identity that we can be proud of.
Wow, thank you for such a humane description of narcissistic traits, where they come from and how to fix them. Society portrays narcissists as 100% abusers who won't change and don't even want it, so a lot of ppl w/narcissistic traits have no faith in themselves and may give up on relationships all together! (same w/borderline).
Ppl who don't have this won't GET that it's much less about being "in love with yourself" and more about having this gaping hole where a Self should be. If a person is an abuser and an asshole, just call them THAT. Not every narcissist is abusive, and not all abusers are narcissists. I cringe every time people put an equal sign between those two.
V good video.
I agree
You’re welcome Very Nika. You’re right not all narcissists are abusive and many of them are self-loathing. I don’t like the equal sign either.
thank you both so much for this video and your comment. I have vulnerable npd and it‘s so difficult struggling with the disorder and the problems it’s causing while reading the word being used as an insult all over the place... if more people thought like you, it would be much easier to talk about it 😞
@@annemarie6124 🤎🤎🤎 we're gonna get through this
@@jellicle_kitten
I'm 17yo and I'm a covert narcissist and I have this feeling that my psychiatrist is flirting with me cuz all he tells me are his personal stuff.
I straight up thought narcissism was a exclusively bad thing
Me too
🙋🏻♀️
Me here too
It became a trend amongst the gender dividers
Narcissists are evil 100%.
Never ever doubt it
Omg this feels so important. I went from zero self-esteem to having just enough to be called a narcissist, and I knew that I was on the right path and refused to go back into my shrinking hole, lol. Okay, so I have to keep validating myself! Got it! Thank you
You just shed light on my father's behaviour. His life goal is to keep me unstable so I can't go too far from him, which he might actually win. How sad he is.
This explains the sour faces or silence when I mention an accomplishment even if it’s small. I don’t make a big fuss about it, but the looks and competition that comes from those I mentioned things to said a lot. This year I started dealing with people differently especially family, I noticed people I am happy for do not reciprocate the happiness.
Ashleigh It’s sad it has to be that way, but it’s the right move. I hope everything works in your favor.
Narcissists (unhealthy kind) are jealous and competitive rather than supportive. We should stay the F away from those ppl.
I think if someone had zero narcissism, they'd have no ego, no self esteem, no confidence, no self love and no pride.
If you have too much narcissism, you appear to have an inflated sense of self confidence (arrogance), excessive self esteem (which is really very low), selfishness and a huge expectation or demand for entitlement (insecurity).
So I guess, like everything else, it's all about balance.
Woah, that "Joe" person seemed very angry! Why does he feel he, or anyone else, deserves an award for appreciating your videos enough that 100K people chose to subscribe to your channel? Huh?!
Best comment award from me!!
@@itsmevivi_ Thank you! lol
*Virtually everything in Life is [on] a spectrum.*
☯️⚖️🤍
Here’s the ironic part. Dangerous/toxic narcissists have little to NO ego. They have no sense of self- hence why they’re always overcompensating and filling their cup from others. It’s also why they mirror people. They don’t even know what they are passionate about in life so they just copy others who seem happy and successful. When I say “ego” I am talking about the psychological term. Id, ego, super ego.
I am glad you informed us about the positive aspect of narcissism within the aspect of self love. A lot of people classify it as all bad. But they are levels. And this was very responsible way of introducing this teaching. I look forward to more of your videos relating to this topic .
Thanks a lot for all the great, on-point teachings !
It reminds me of a little French joke :
An adult asks a kid : « what is a selfish person ? »
and the kid answers : « someone who doesn’t think about me ! »
I’ve always wondered why,after I chose my line of work (Janitor ) why it made me feel so happy, retired now,but I loved every minute of it, thanks Dr Marks.
Awesome Nathan. So glad your work gave you pleasure
This is one of the most nuanced explanations I've seen (oh, and I've seen HUNDREDS lol) of the narcissistic spectrum and the distinctions between healthy narcissism and personality pathology. So very well done, and you're going to reach so many people outside the clinical realm due to the conversational language you carefully chose. I believe even school aged children could understand this, and this is not an easy topic to make "simple" (because it is so complex); impressive.
I appreciate you~
Love The Podcasts and Shows. Was completely Blown Away that "Loving Joe" considered himself a virtual patient. Then I realize that this makes sense from his perspective. So I want to thank you for the tings that you do. Because while you are not my therapist or my buddy, Your series is pretty awesome and has given me great comfort and insight. Thank You
Kenn Villegas she have a podcast? i would like to listen it
Thanks @Kenn. @mihaela I do have a podcast where some of these episodes are published in audio form. I haven’t recorded any exclusive content in there yet. Here’s the page for it arslonga.media/mental-health-demystified/
What a lovely, positive and well written comment. Thank you. This kind of respectful appreciation makes my heart happy and isn’t as common as it should be. ❤️
Did I miss something? Loving Joe?
Actually, my narcissism was what saved me from all the abuse I endured , I didn't let that get to me
Poor Joe, actually his award / trophy 🏆 is being able to view your video and learn something new - for Free.!!!
Thanks for making great, wonderful, easy explained videos about the people around me and the world we live in…I’m a better person for it.
Thank you I've worried about being a narcissist for a while now. I have been damaged and have a lot of self doubt/ self esteem issues. I can put others down but I feel bad after especially knowing I can't take it back other then apologize. Sometimes I've dug myself to large a whole. I usually feel destroyed after a relationship goes south. I need to learn to love myself as you described because I would like a life feeling better about myself and being capable of having a loving relationship. I love go help other but I feel I need to help myself first and thats what im trying to do.
My fortress was chipped away by one parent. I've been working hard on building my self esteem, celebrating accomplishments, knowing my self worth and focusing on healthy relationships. It has been very hard work, but 3 years later, and I'm seeing solid results. I feel good. Thanks for this video, and congratulations on your award. I'm happy for you. :-)
I really liked the anecdote. And it brings to mind one of the strange things about the "youtube narcissism" phenomena in which there are large communities dedicated to this area of human behaviour; it's best captured in "the lady doth protest too much" type thing in Dr Mark's story. But the communities obsessed about this subject tend to most use the term as a pejorative, and perhaps display larger amounts of narcissistic behaviour than say most online communities (although the internet does seemingly magnify this trait)
Also I love the point of this video that highlights the spectrum of behaviour that we all share. The human universals within narcissistic tendencies that we can all use for introspection.... bravo good Dr!
Thank you Thomas. I don’t understand the fascination with NPD. It’s not synonymous with toxic and there are other personality traits that cause problems in relationships. But somehow this rose to the top and has become trending
Thanks for responding to my musings Dr Marks! 😃
Its certainly penetrated the zeitgeist in a weird and interesting way. But its recent emergence makes it hard to pull any strong conclusions from it... apart from the fact that it has a relationship to the digital revolution we find ourselves in... like a lot of the opaque problems of today I suppose.
@@DrTraceyMarks I think narcissism/NPD has become such a big thing because it's a word that most people know. I found out about the disorder NPD because I had a friend (note the past tense) who frequently arm chair "diagnosed" problem people in his life with "NPD" as a way to write them off. "They said X about me, but they obviously have NPD, so it's not like anyone should take them seriously."
There are loads of "narcissistic abuse" survivor forums online, and while I don't want to write off abuse survivors (there's a reason why I was checking out those forums), they get really tunnel-visioned, and soon everyone in their life is a malignant narcissist because of one or two actions/encounters. Every action that leads to disagreement is because the other person is a narcissist. A lot of people use it to dismiss the other person because (in their logic) narcissists = sociopaths = abusers who will never change or accept something is wrong with them.
I think it may have something to do with the complete and utter destruction of lives that goes along with people that have this disorder.
The continual and unrelenting erosion of self from childhood that will almost certainly leave you with C-PTSD or a Personality Disorder of your own.
And despite best wishes and all the support in the world, these conditions / issues aren’t so easily reversed.
Even when you encounter a person as an adult with NPD the damage is still severe and can take years to break away from and you’re never truly the same after that.
I know it’s not a ‘fait accompli’ that a person with NPD will end up utterly destroying the lives of those in their ‘inner circle’ but I would say those circumstances are very few.
The sad thing is, the vast majority of those with NPD will not see a problem with their actions and treatment of others and for (many) of those at the receiving end, may well perceive that something isn’t right but not know the nature of what it is.
This means that effectively; many with the disorder will live out their lives destroying that of others and people (in the inner circle) on the receiving end can have a life full of misery.
A few personal testimonies and support groups later it seeps its way into popular culture, hence the interest, simplification and trivialisation (similar to what happened / happens with Bipolar Disorders and BPD) of a extremely serious disorder and its consequences.
Thank you for your videos Dr Marks.
@@DrTraceyMarks when i looked into it and its causes, like trauma, attatchment, fear, and low-self esteem inssecurity etc etc etc. it seems like it basically if the diagnosis was a target, in the world of pscyhology, they threw everything but the kitchen sink at it in terms of its construction. so i think what it does is it serves as a sort of blanket term that because of all these facets of it, when you google "narcisisim x behavior" your bound to find some one linking it to just about every bad behavior out there.
Oh, I am going to share this! Narcissist gets thrown around so much and I was becoming confused. It’s necessary to love yourself, it’s how we learn to take care of ourselves!
Thank you Dr.
This hit home.
I believe underappreciating my accomplishments and downplaying them does stem from something in my past with my parents that made me feel like I wouldn't/shouldn't accomplish stuff.
It may also have to do with the fact I'm disabled and started school late and had very little socialization with peers in these early years, and many of the instances I did get, were undermined in a way or another.
I have taken into a path of helping others achieve their goals and have felt like I'm achieving them myself, and in return they're helping me achieve mine.
We have a saying in Spanish that loosely translates as "love is paid with love."
Love it! Thank you 💞
I feel that people with low healthy narcissism often need to build a skill or a hobby that will make them feel good about themselves. For me it really helped helping others/random acts of kindness/ volunteering, getting better at cooking(aiming at one new recipe per week), learning how to crochet (one project per month during the cold seasons) , drawing and painting, journaling, watching one good movie per week (I find that being more selective about what I watch really makes me appreciate the movie much more and I find myself daydreaming about the day I'll be able to watch a series or a movie and it makes me feel cozy!) of course home workouts (I aimed for 2h30min per week ) and hiking in nature every other week. I picked one at a time and after one year I found myself that my core self felt stronger and fuller. Hope this ideas might help someone 🌞✨ I'm still trying to find a good system to implement meditation/praying 10' a day and to keep my workout schedule more consistent :)~♪ Getting out of track is totally normal, don't be too strict with yourself either
You listed all my goals and thoughts about this.
"PROGRESSIVE Significant Accomplishments!" I really needed to listen to that! Thank you! I don't like to help others to feel good. I do like to help others, but not to feel good. Thank you for your honesty!
I think calling someone a narcissist has become a buzzword to insult anyone who is selfish or kind of a jerk. Or it is this type of boogie man type figure. I think it is important to remember what condition really is and that there is a spectrum to it. It exists comorbid with a lot of other conditions as well.
Loving Joe is so off the mark! I’m proud of you Dr. Marks-love one of your 100,000 subscribers who benefits greatly from you videos!! We all win here!
This is so good. I've struggled for years because I have been accused a few times of being narcissistic and it really scared me. I have always struggled with low self-esteem but oddly have also had a strong fortress of self-love because of my faith and the way my parents raised me (open opinions, etc). I think I am unusually vulnerable and overshare a lot, so it shocked me when I was accused of this. I think they were right though. I am narcissistic. But I don't think I'm a "narcissist" or coming into self-love from an insatiable drive. Instead, it's an honest love for humans as part of the family of god. We're heavenly brothers and sisters, so why shouldn't we love ourselves and each other?
I leave a job when it’s too toxic. Something you just can’t deal with everyday lol. Like a boss giving you negative feedback every Friday and then every Monday they find issues with your work no matter how good the work is. After a while that wears you down.
I went through this, looked my old clinical director up and saw he majored in psychology. I doubled majored in it too so I figured he was trying to modify my behavior and make me fit his mold but it wasn’t working. He also would throw me under the bus. I don’t think self love can help you stay in the situation.
But good stuff, I’ll work on making sure my nieces/nephews get to fully express their opinions.
It is a lot of work to learn to love yourself. I had the fruits of this hard work affirmed by a partner who left me for another. The partner said that she and the person she was leaving me for both were like bottomless pits that needed to be continually filled up. She felt needed by having to constantly stroke someone else's ego and needed the same and I wasn't needy. Mind you, I wasn't physically well and very much needed someone in my life in that regard, but emotionally I didn't need to have my ego stroked. In other words, I wasn't desperate for love because I love myself.
I want to know more about the bad side of narcissism. My mom is a narcissist in the worst way. She was/is horrible and abusive but she could do no wrong. She did it because she “loved us”. Would do all great things for other people just for more kudos yet she was secretly evil. It’s always all about her. My oldest son shows some of the same traits like not taking responsibility for negative actions, can do no wrong, it’s everyone else’s fault, can never ever apologize because it’s admitting to wrong doing, won’t accept mental health treatment because it’s admitting there’s a problem. I just want to know how to deal with it all, especially with my son who’s almost 23. I don’t want his relationships ruined by this.
You are one cool lady and if I didn’t have an awesome psych already I’d want you as my psych.
Thanks so much Daniel 😊
OM goodness! I had no idea the characteristics of "Pathological Narcissism" actually had a name!! I have a relative who I just stopped sharing anything good that happens in my life because of these exact responses, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Congratulations are always a secondary to a comparison. Thank you, Dr. Marks, for bringing clarity to narcissistic behaviors.
Nice to hear. Very tired of hearing all the narcism insults being thrown around in the last couple of decades; many of these come from a branch of the family who I have just realized are the "what about me's..." who only ever received cookies with anger.
9:12 "Whatever works for you, the idea is that you lose the pattern of trying to feed an insatiable appetite for validation, and accept a new positive image of yourself that you help create." 🤝👍
This video was excellent in describing the beginning of development self-worth in individuals and How it effect you later in life. Thank for the wonderful analogies examples you use Dr. Tracy Marks 🧐. Looking forward to rest in the series on narcissism.
Glad you enjoyed it Michal. 👍🏽
Dr. Tracey Marks Thank You
Great video Dr. Marks. Thank you. I am so tired of hearing "must be nice" from my family whenever I share an accomplishment. Your words were so validating and helpful. And congratulations on your UA-cam status. Well deserved!
Thank you Michelle. Yes the must be nice thing is very annoying and unsupportive especially when it comes from family or friends
Thank you! I always felt bad because I take care of myself and do things I enjoy. I was worried I was a "narcissist ". I didn't realize there was a healthy balance. I am not pathological lol😊
This pretty much sums up my relationship with my sister. ANYTHING good I get, she sees as me intentionally trying to show her up.
As a kid I wanted desperately for her to like me. At the same time, I wanted to have good things, too.
So I bounce back and forth from trying not to outshine her to get her approval, to getting angry and trying to ignore her meanness and never just feeling happy for me.
It's so dizzying and I don't know how to settle this.
Guilt whenever I get good things. Sadness if I sabotage those good things to avoid making her mad
I wish I could speak like you! Very clear, confident without being arrogant, fluid, well constructed and calming.
11 months ago? It may as well have been an emergency newsflash from today. It is so timely... and necessary. Many thanks for posting.
You're videos are very clear and so broad. Thank you for sharing. We have so many thoughts and questions and gaining clairity is so important for peace and happiness. This one on narcissism is especially good. The last thing we need is to forget to have our own accomplishments. Thanks again.. 😊
I can really relate to chasing after cookies. Every accomplishment feels fleeting and I'm always focused on what I have to prove next.
I needed to hear this. I've had to deal with narcissistic people before, and unfortunately I unconsciously chose the self-sabotage path to get out of it. Now I know what I need to do to avoid falling into the same pattern again. Thanks Doc!
Im a student of law and I hope to be able to convey information as well as you some day. I really appreciated this video and how you used your own experience as a teaching aid. Bravo.
I am so happy that I found your Channel I've been looking for a therapist for few years however I would have never thought that I would find one on UA-cam I really really appreciate you doctor and I hope and pray that you continue making these videos because it's been so helpful to me in the last few weeks I am a new subscriber and I plan to say thank you and have a great day
I hardly write comment on youtube but I feel I must tell you I have leaned so much from you in the process of healing and understanding myself and others. Thank you for sharing and creating this platform.
I am a recovering BPD so I had to work my butt off to even have something to feel proud about! And when I got it, like when I graduated college with honors, I made myself share it and I rejoiced in that accomplishment. Because it was something wonderful I did for myself. I met an important goal and in doing so I built myself up. I didn’t brag about it, I just shared “this is so exciting, I’m so proud of myself”. If anyone is threatened by THAT, I want zero to do with them. And by the way, YOU did accomplish that play button award because you made helpful and interesting content to the point where you grew your channel and kept more subs than you lost. That’s not easy to do. I sure hope Jo is still trying to work on himself- because ouch… what an ugly personality. By the way this is my first time here and I just subbed. Really enjoyed this video as I’m trying to understand my father more.
Thank you for this video. It was informative and a refreshing, positive take on necessary narcissism. I am always afraid of feeling TOO proud of myself. TOO celebratory. TOO everything and then cower at someone else's discomfort at my efforts and luck. I need to stop avoiding healthy narcissism for fear that I will cross over. As if I cannot trust myself to manage my emotions and behavior. I can do this. My therapist has been a Godsend.
Anyway, thank you. This really helps. Your work really helps.
Hi Diane I’m glad you have a therapist to help you know how to live comfortably in you self love and appreciate what’s too much and too little. All the best to you 😊
I've seen my dad once in over 15yrs and he lives just 10mins drive from me and that was once too many.The best thing I ever did was to cut ties with him i've never regretted it.He's the type of person who's brain's always on the go and wears you down big time,even when he's not talking he's looking around or getting up during meals etc......he caused a lot of upset within my family,he even moved next door to a close friend and that went pear shaped.
Dang I'm glad I found this lady, awesome communicator and easy to digest.
The best video on narcissism on UA-cam! Absolutely fantastic! How come my therapists couldn't tell me this? Instead they stare at me with a blank face like a zombie slowly eating away at my brain lol.
I loved this video, especially considering I had a similar experience with my mother a few months ago. I was speaking to her about how I finally felt like I belonged in a group and had realized I actually was intelligent (I had always been insecure about my intelligence or academic skills), and she chastised me for being too prideful and basically started quoting how I shouldn't say anything like that. When I tried to explain, she just shut me off entirely and wouldn't even listen to what I meant by my statement. Instead, just continued shaming me 🙄 :/
Ive always tried to find balance in my confidence and self-love and this explanation of the spectrum really helps!!! I definitely had enough pathological narcissists put me down for being happy for my accomplishments to the point where I thought i was being cocky but you just healed me.
Thank you!! I needed that🥰
Dr. Tracey Marks: Today, question of narcissism is REALLY VERY IMPORTANT!
Thank you Dr Tracey this has confirmed that i'm on the right track to healing but it's still a long road that i have to be ever mindful of each step i take. Yes, very precarious but hoping i've done the hardest bits.
Finally someone giving actual info about narcissism not demeaning them, you are a wonderful therapist, maam. The comment section is also filled with normal rational people with sanity. That made my night😂(not day- as I am gonna sleep now).❤❤❤ you have helped me a lot during my depression
Wow I’ve never heard the concept of healthy narcissism. This has been profound. Thank you so much for all this golden information.
Finally Narcissism explained very well….all about balance ⚖️
so Narcissism (ego) isn’t a dirty word.!!!
I'm so glad you decided to make a video on this! I have been eager to hear your perspective on it. Can't wait for your upcoming videos on the other aspects of this. I liked hearing you explain what a healthy level of narcissism looks like and how it's on a spectrum. I know that not everyone loves it being described as "healthy" or "unhealthy", but since it does occur on a spectrum and isn't a diagnosis in of itself, I think it's important to know where to draw the line when it starts becoming maladaptive and harmful to oneself and others.
This is excellent! Best video on Narcissism I’ve found so far. Thanks!
Thank you. Dr. Mark's. After much searching, this is one of the only resources on youtube that discusses narcissism as a spectrum that has benign, healthy and beneficial purposes if understood and managed.
Thank you for the clarifications. Extremely helpful for me.
Always so grateful for your contribution Dr Marks. Thanks yet again. 🙏🏼
This video helped me get out of an extreme ruminating phase, thanks for approaching the subject with nuance and universality, rather than fostering the toxic demonisation of "the narcissist" as a pop diagnosis
Love all your videos, and specially how well you used your own experience with Loving Joe to bring the message home, u rock
Dr. Marks, you so deserving of the silver UA-cam button, and more! You're eloquent, intelligent, and have helped so many of us. Thank you. 😊
Dr. Tracey Marks THANK YOU. Clearing up the language we use is so important and this is something my therapist and I have talked about a lot. Thank you for putting out there how healthy narcissism is real and different from pathological narcissism.
I love your videos! You’re great at revealing a clear new perspective on these topics.
Okay 👍 now I understand what is overly self worth, I get now! Thank you, Dr. Tracy Mark 😊 thus video 📹 resonates with ME! 😊
Thank you for this, Dr. Marks. I really needed this both for my pathology as well as my relationships with others. Many people have called me arrogant for being confident in my abilities as a teacher and my investment in my teaching career. Just thank you. ❤️
Dr. Marks. We have to be proud of yourself for your very informative (free) videos that are helping a lot of people using very lucid and clear presentations.
Nice work Dr. Tracey!
Tracey, I look up to you- you really inspired me to continue building my skills in Floral design. Thank you so much for sharing your calm confidence and being awesome.
I dont know how I found your channel, but I'm so thankful I did. Thank you Dr. Marks.
Whoa! Whoa!! Dr Tracy that was a sincere and "real" session here. Thanks for being real with your example. I've had nothing but praise for most of your videos I've watched. I consider you "my" teacher. Highly instructive helpful tools that I take notes as a student in class!
Thanks and God bless
Thank you. I've needed this video.
Oh man. So sorry about Joe's comment. What a party pooper!
Thanks for everything you do, and for the clarity you've brought to my life and your other 100,000 .... oh wait ..... 1.4 Million subscribers. You have a real gift for clear explanations, and you should be proud of everything you've accomplished and all the people you're helping.
Wow. Thank you so much. The cookie example helped me understand so much. And what you said at the end about some people just needing to help others really stood out to me.
I love this video! Thank you for your transparency! I'm dealing with this situation right now. I never really do anything for myself. I often put others first. This year I've decided to do something nice for myself (a party) and I've been told that it's not a wise move.
This is very helpful. Thank you for making these distinctions and explaining the spectrum.
there is so many content about mental disorders and the way to go along with it. what distincts you is that your way of talking about it is so de-mystifying and de-stigmezied ( i hope my english is good enough at these words) and so near to just reality. it feels so real and i feel myself as human despite all.
Thanks Dr.Tracey. Things are starting to make sense now. :)
You deserve any award tou may get!! Sharing your wisdom and experience I find it extremely helpful. I am surprised you haven’t reach a couple of millions
Dr. Marks! You are so amazing! Thank you🙏🏾
Congratulations on your Silver Play button! Well deserved.
The information you choose to present, on top of your ability to effectively communicate these topics is absolutely incredible. You have literally changed my life and I guarantee done that for countless others. Thank you for the work you put into making these because what you’re doing matters SO MUCH!
💕🙏🏽🙌🏻
Others accomplishments are not threatening…I always try to remember this, because sometimes I just strive for so much more and I can be so debilitatingly impatient for my own happiness. I am always really happy for others but it is hard to not think “what about me? Am i ever going to reach happiness? Am i not happy now? Why is that? What is sparking this?”. I swing between wanting to feel really good about myself, and needing to feed my negative thoughts.
Thank you for all of your commentary and videos, I already feel so much better than I did yesterday.
This is soooo good. I love the examples and real-life approach to this! I’m sharing this with my private group - i hope it encourages them to have confidence to achieve their dreams. 😆💜 Bless you!
Wow what an inspiring, insightful and extremely helpful, easy to understand description of narcissism. And thank you especially for stating that a bit of it is healthy. Amen! It’s such an over used contrived term now but this was logically explained without judgement or anger. Thank you so much, Dr. Marks, for your brilliant videos! Much appreciated!
One of the most fascinating videos I've ever watched. Thank you for sharing.
Doctor Tracey Marks, I enjoy your videos! You hit points spot on!💯 May your UA-cam channel continue to grow and reach others who want to be educated.
Thank you so much for your hard work Dr Marks :)
This makes perfect sense. This explains why certain famous people (not naming who 😉) act a fool.
I really enjoy watching your videos. They really do help me understand myself and others as well as situations. Thank you. I look forward to you uploading in the future