Chopped Their Own Weiners Off - Tales From the Internet
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
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A collection of horrifying stories from around the world.
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My farts are worse than Whangs farts
@@sxmbxdyare you 8 or something?
Missed opportunity to not show off a sausage dish
erm what the weiner choppage
The most impressive thing about whang Is he keeps getting sponsored for these types of videos
Cross your legs boys, this is how Silent Hill characters are created
Ahahaha. I too get the joke
You know, I was having a great day not remembering the tale of That guy....
Now we just need the schizo edit wars.
brb gotta add an entry to the wiki
😂😂😂😂
The channel name has probably never been better for the video.
My farts are better than Whang's farts.
Wasn’t he demonetized years ago because of the name? I vaguely remember something like that
@@zephyr32must’ve been spelled without the H then
*_Whang!_*
@@ballbagchris6920Nah. I remember this. It was a big deal for the channel at the time. Homeboy had to like send YT his ID to prove that the channel name was just his actual name. 😂
“The staff were really upset” is a helluva downplay for said situation
I laughed at that too
See, it works, because it happened in the UK, where understatement is a national pastime. They famously called a half-century of domestic terrorism "the Troubles."
"Oi, bloody hell that bloke just cut his weiner off!"
"Oh, bugger!"
I can't wait till my Polish partner finishes work and I can show her that part-she often tells me how crazy many Poles can be but I always downplay it, I think she will feel vindicated lol
@@st.anselmsfire3547 That's very true, we also call the American revolution 'Tuesday'. We were rather busy at that time _making friends_ in Europe and playing with our sailboats. 😅
I almost lost my main vein once as a young 16 or 17 year old lad. Was practicing throwing a machete at a log (like throwing a knife at a target but bigger). I missed and the machete went like flailing through the air, it bounced almost straight back at me and nailed me square in the crotch. Direct hit on the meat of my manhood. I freaked. Hand straight into the pants and clamped down on my dong. Ran up into the house and b-lined for the bathroom. Checked it out and everything was fine, just a red spot on the shaft. Looked and there was a hole sliced into jean fabric flap over the zipper and the zipper was fucked. If the machete tip had hit an inch to the left or right I'd have split my hotdog in half but luckily my zipper saved my manhood. Just thought I'd share this funny story.
That's a leg crosser for sure
Im in extreme pain just by reading this
Ooh, heroic zipper!
we had metal-tipped javelins, not very sharp but still dangerous. no idea why we were trusted with them
I was lying down on the field, hands behind my head, legs apart, and I feel a rush of air and a "Pfftht!" noise. I look up to see my sister's javelin throw had embedded itself between my knees like 10-12 inches away from skewering my sausage.
If I was trusted with throwing knives as a kid, I am sure that me and all my siblings would exist in some form of dismemberment lol. Poor machete!! Don't throw machetes, they're not made for that!
God decided you are important to the future of humanity.
(Not religious btw, but god wants you to reproduce apparently)
"He's all set to cocoon this girl in a load like those trapped women in Duke Nukem 3D" is insane.
_"Damn it."_ - Duke Nukem, 1996
My farts are better than Whang's farts.
props to him in the video about Mr Hands, he used the Doom guy grunting sounds to paint an explicit scene in my mind
@@0neDoomedSpaceMarine😂 I read that out loud in his voice
@@D0NU75 I feel bad for Mr. Hands.
16 years of not realising you need to wash your downstairs. 😮 That story broke my brain a bit.
nah you can wash your dick and not realize that it needs the skin retracted to be properly cleaned. the skin needs to be retracted from infancy onward to make sure it continues to be able to be retracted otherwise it gets painful. these guys' parents weren't properly cleaning their baby's privates and they neglected to teach them how to clean themselves when they got old enough to do it themselves.
That's some serious neglect on the part of the parents. As soon as your kid is old enough to wash themselves, you should really impress upon them the importance of gently pulling back their foreskin and washing properly. That could lead to some nasty infections.
@@phaedrapage4217 My parents never taught me that was important but I still figured it out on my own and I never got an infection. 16 years old is kinda old to never consider taking a look under. Not even a little curious? Come on.
Guys, I'm 19 and have phimosis and have never been able to pull the skin down since it's very tight. Is there anything I can do or am I fucked and need surgery? Will I end up like the dude in the story?
@@TsarNicholasyearsago Go to the doctors please, they'll tell you what they can do for you. It may feel embarassing in the moment, but your health is super important
Hi, this is a courtesy PSA for anyone still confused: wash *everywhere that there is skin or hair* when you bathe/shower. The bottoms of your feet, your asscrack, your scalp, in every fold. You do not need to wash internally. Rinse well, and dry thoroughly to prevent soap residue and moisture buildup leading to chafing or fungal/bacterial growth. Change your undergarments daily or if soiled, whatever comes first. Do not sleep on soiled bedsheets or with dirty blankets, they can also harbor and spread pathogens. If you suspect you have an unusual condition, do not Minecraft your body parts, just go to a doctor.
"Do not Minecraft your body parts" is probably some of the best advice I've heard
But yeah, a lot of people don't realize how important it is to wash various places. Apparently, there's a bunch of guys who just refuse to wash their butts? Or don't think they need to wipe.
Some girls might not know to wash the underboob, or between their legs, either
@@random_dragon
There are also a lot of women that unfortunately lean the complete opposite way, in that they clean their pussies in every way they can, even the inside, because they don't want to be seen as "dirty" and they think they need to get rid of their natural discharge and odour, because they've been taught that vaginas smell like fish and men hate that. That's why scented vaginal soaps and douches exist, that claim to balance the pH, but actually cause infection.
There are women that think they need to scrub their vulvas with special feminine soap, when just water or a light cleanse of normal soap on the outside is fine, as the vagina self-cleans.
So yes I agree, it's important for people to be educated in both ways.
Hi, I'm a Minecraft player, and I don't understand. You can do a lot of things in Minecraft, and I can't apply the context with anything you do in that game to this. Sorry
@@gabbls_ it's just a funny way of saying not to do anything to yourself
@@gabbls_if you’re being sarcastic I’m gonna look like an idiot for explaining this. If you’re being sincere then I hope this explanation helps -> because of UA-cam censorship people started saying “in Minecraft” after talking about doing censorship-unfriendly things. Like “im gonna nerf that dude….*in Minecraft*”, cause like UA-cam is supposedly okay with you talking about offing people in video games but not offing people in real life. That has now evolved to people straight up using “Minecraft” in place of any number of censorship unfriendly verbs. Instead of “I’ll off you in Minecraft” it’s now just “I’ll Minecraft you”. It’s just a joke tho it’s not a magic anti-censorship trick and my comment will probably get auto deleted 😂 so yeah. Don’t Minecraft your body parts.
"Push your skinnies back" my mother would always tell my brothers outside the bathroom door once they were old enough to bathe themselves. Shame on other parents who are too ashamed to discuss these vital things with their children.
Skinnies?? 😂
@@Maesterful don't you just love Aussie slang?
Tell me about it...i had to have it pulled back at age 5-6 i was in so much pain
@@konradgawronski2372 That's because it's bonded to the glans until boys are about 7-11 and not meant to retract before then.
Your foreskin? Is that what it means? Why wouldn't you just have your baby circumcised? It's insane how much cleaner it is. Plus I knew at least a half dozen kids in school who had it done at age 13+ because of infection or it was so tight they couldn't pull it down. The anti circumcision people are ridiculous.
Whang really did pick the perfect background song for this topic
Should’ve used penis music
He always does
I saw the thumbnail and was immediately expecting this song. It's like instinct knowing what his videos are usually like.
You read my mind
The perfect name too
Blame parents and close family for not caring enough.
My aunt always brought up awkward shit like this. Told me when i was like 7 to clean my junk properly or id never get a girl.
Ive had plenty of girls thanks to that advice, im sure.
Same. Im totally against snipping, because it never even occurred to me that others weren't cleaning themselves. I was told to even...pull it back to pee. Parents not teahcing their kids literally anything is crazy.
Your aunt did you a solid.
A lot of people talk about young girls being left in the dark about menstrual health, and sure, there's a lot of girls out there who were let down on that front, but I'm sure there's many young boys who are similarly clueless about taking care of their wieners.
Yeah, if you start cleaning it early alot of it becomes logical. I pull it back to piss too bro. Better stream.@@whateverwhatever4026
@@0neDoomedSpaceMarine💯
When I was in the 7th or 8th grade and starting to take interest in girls my dad told me to make sure i kept my junk clean cause no girl wants to suck a smelly penis. I always cleaned myself properly but made sure after that moment 😅
Saw a guy have a psychotic break after taking shrooms one time, he also stripped naked and started attacking random onlookers. Not sure why psychosis requires being naked but here we are
Returning to a state of monkey...
it's weird, I'm bipolar and have taken essentially every well-known drug at least once (and not just orally...), and have had difficult experiences on psychedelics a few different times, and tbh it's really, REALLY hard for me personally to imagine massive self-harm while in that state of mind, like if anything during those experiences I usually became really irrationally afraid that I was going to get hurt or die, and would play it as safe as possible, rather than like...wanting to start cutting body parts off, fear of that kind of reaction though is what has kept me from ever taking datura (I mean that and the fact that datura is also just incredibly dangerous in general on every level, and not even enjoyable basically ever). I've also never really gotten the whole "getting naked randomly" thing on psychedelics, either, although that at least makes a *little* more sense than self-harm does to me (I guess actually I've *kind of* had that type of experience on MDM, but that's kind of a different thing, and in part it's because it raises your body temperature, so it wasn't just like "I'm going to randomly get naked and run off" or something).
@@scarlet_phonavis6734 Thats what actually happens to me when I smoke weed. Instantly upon getting high I start to feel the sensation of clothing again and I want to take most of it off. I think theres a reason some stoners just walk around in underwear. Being high on THC kind of unlocks your subconcious a little and makes you aware of things you werent before. Same can be said about nerves. I can lie in bed for a couple of hours without pain but as soon as I get high I start to feel every bump and curve in my mattress and it hurts. Its weird.
@@js8qp2pwisos Nudity is our natural state
Wait Wait, first off, what is 2cb but the bigger question that you just casually mentioned was someone feeling ill and dying in someone else's arms while yall were trippin on Sid and whatever 2cb is???? How fast did all that happen and why did y'all not call paramedics immediately?
“I’m tired of microwave meals, so I ordered extremely expensive frozen meals to heat up in my microwave.”
Correct 😂
man sleepwalking my nuts off is a new fear i wasnt expecting
Worst ive done yet is walking around a hotel....naked and asleep 😅 i think there's been murders done while asleep
@@kingcockroach. How many people did you homicide in your sleep? Were you really asleep or just pretending to sleepwalk to get away with it?
Remembering the story RubberRoss shared where his foreskin got in the way of him peeing when he was 10, so he had to go to the hospital and be circumcised. It was told specifically during Gartic Phone and he drew a balloon in the scene that said "sorry about your penis"
Sounds about right
I never saw the appeal of his channel but I get it now. I'll have to watch.
One day I really want him to just go "if you like this video... what's wrong with you?" and then the video abruptly ends
Urethral Prolapse would indeed be an epic name for a band. Even if they sucked, I would still feel compelled to buy a t-shirt and wear it on a regular basis. 😂
This makes me think of a fishing shop in Nova Scotia (never went but my boyfriend has and got a shirt with it’s name on it idek if it’s real or not lol) that is called “The Master Baiter”
When does the Jojo's Stand with that name drop? lmao
average mince band
Now this is the kind of video to watch at 2:30 in the morning
Hi beak
French ?
Jævla natterangler
Bruh it's 2:30 as I'm watching this lol
My farts are better than Whang's farts.
Urethral Prolapse/Dying Fetus tour would be wild
Featuring “Come Cocoon”
I use this pretty good stuff to unclog a toilet, thin pipes, it happens. It's called Septic Gobbler
He did have a similar one about the women carrying a dead fetus in her and didnt know it!
I hope we get enough band names to make a tour poster soon!
To bad Anal Blast is no more or that would be a hell of one.
Similar thing happened to me like the smegma guy, except I was 14 when I realized it, no idea how long it'd been building up but eventually cleaned it all up. I still have "scars" left that were never able to fully heal sadly. Let your kids know before it's too late.
I would never forgive my parents
Same thing at 13, never had permanent damage though
If i have a son one day I will never get him circumsized because im against that creepy infantile jewtardd mutilation shit but if a parent or parents are too oblivious or uncaring to teach hygiene they should at least get the snip upon birth. Also I actually remember the snip btw. I have a vivid memory from birth about the pain of getting my dick cut open and that trauma is why I think forced curcumcision should be illegal and have to wait 18 to get the procedure. Its such a bogus thing people do to their poor baby sons just to have one less thing to worry about instead of being proper parents. I lost my skin and obviously you lose a SHIT TON of nerves and sensation from circumcision but you can save your future sons from it. Believe me its true you lose nerves and sensation from that shit.
Damn I'm sorry to hear that
It definitely needs to be taught, as it can also infect, cauaing inglamation and increasing the chance of penile cancer. I swear, no joke, cleaning it up reduces cancer risk.
The Brazilian government has tried a few time running PSA campaigns (usually through posters in public areas) and it always faces a ton of backlash, but, honestly, this is super important crap
Silent Hill 4 fans are gonna have a field day with this one
Ahh sweet new BME Pain Olympics!
My thoughts exactly lmao
Ah yes! BME Pain Olympics 2: Electric Boogaloo.
My farts are better than Whang's farts.
@@poweroffriendship2.0 Actually there already was follow ups to BME Pain Olympics and unlike the first one that was faked (pretty sure Whang has a video about it) the follow-up compilations were actually real
Still don’t know if that was real or not
You could say they cut their WHANG! Off
Teehee
My farts are better than Whang's farts.
@p-__ dude give it up for fuck sake
Lol
For any young lad watching with phimosis, I had a similar issue to the guy in the video. I didn't pull my foreskin back until around the same age (16). It was actually my girlfriend who first told me that it was abnormal to be unable to pull it back, which was really embarrassing. She was an angel for being calm about it... I didn't have the same issues as the guy in the video did, though. A little bit of smegma, sure, but it came off easily every time I pulled it back a little in the shower. It took around a month of gently pulling the skin back in the shower to fully release (about a week for most of the head to be exposed, another three weeks to release an adhesion I had). My foreskin retracts as normal now, thankfully. Sex education is important!
The girlfriend part reminded me of my urologist. Fun dude. At one point he's just talking to nurses and saying something like "Now ladies you just have to protect your penises". He made the point of "If its going in you, its yours" or something like that.
When i was like 8-9 my father told me that i should be cleaning it and it should pull back but it just didnt go past the widest part of the head because my foreskin was like glued toghether with the head and i just couldnt pull it back at some point we went to the urologist and he had to break the foreskin and the head and that shit hurt really bad and even after some years my head felt really sensitive especialy when i had a boner and it was rubbing agaisnt my pants but now its fine
Your girlfriend was surely an angel
no joke, yesterday, for the first time in literaly 20 years, i sleepwalked. i got up, got dressed, and went on to buy a water filter for the kitchen, got back, and went back to bed.
people who interacted with me, including the people in the store said i looked like i was in pain and headache, when i asked if i had gone there today.
one of the girls even said she had asked me if i was alright, and i simply answered, "im just very sleepy" or something of the sort.
luckly for me, the place that i went is really close by, and on the same side of the road as my house. i even remember bits and pieces of it.
it was WEIRD kinda like a dream.
i used to have that when i was a kid, but stopped sleepwalking as i grew older. no idea it happened yesterday. and gonna be honest, kinda scared it may happen again.
I will never grow tired of lazy banjo music as Whang talks about the most horrific things possible.
“and she makes fun of him for it to this very day” 😭😭 as she should
12:00
9:29 "but he had not slaughtered a goat he had slaughtered his wiener" this shit made me die of laughter for like 15 minutes straight
Bachelor party a long time ago one of the boys took too much lsd and stripped down, began helicoptering, and then proceeded to try to manually remove his member with vigor. He wasn’t successful, but I actually never talked to him again, so I wonder if it still works
Was he using his hands to try and just pull it off? I don't understand why so many guys get compelled to cut their member off when they get trashed on psychedelics or alcohol ..
@@boogityhoo7452 yeah he was pulling full force and ended up on the ground wrestling with himself…I was already super uncomfortable that he was all of a sudden naked but it quickly got way more disturbing
@@MattHanr So did y'all...do anything about it or did you just kinda stand there watching him try to play tug of war with his tallywhacker because honestly in that situation I'd probably be doing the latter..
@@dr.altoclef9255 the one guy that was really friends with him tried to help. Another guy pulled his phone out and filmed him 😳 everyone else evacuated
Well maybe don’t do drugs…?
Feeling immensely lucky after hearing that 2nd story. I have phimosis and i didn't fully retract the skin until i was 21, and this wasn't by choice, i physically couldn't. but i didn't really think too hard about it until a girl was really confused when she saw my dick and was asking me about it, like how have i never seen the full head of my penis before. i ended up making an appointment with a urologist and he made incisions within the skin of my penis (absolutely horrifying experience, by the way) and when the skin was peeled back for the first time, the head was covered in smegma. but it wasn't hard or anything like that story, i was able to wash it off pretty easily and everything was mostly fine.
i'm just glad this video didn't come out before this happened, because if i saw it then, i definitely would have had a heart attack lol
I had something simular but when i was like 9 and my urologist just pulled it by force and i dont know what worse it like pulled some of my head skin off and that shit hurt sooo much i remember going to the bathroom in school and crying because peeing hurt so much
in the stripped club. straight up "jorking it". and by "it", haha, well. let's just say. My chopped peanits
Choosing to pronounce "jorking" the same way a j is pronounced in sweden
@@mikaroni_and_cheez ...iorkin?
*justr
@@mikaroni_and_cheez yorkin my peenes 🥺
@@mushrooms5757ojojojojoj
So, about story 2, phimosis is actually WAY more common than most people think. It's also usually treated with topical creams and stretching. It's one of those things that nobody talks about but people really should because so many guys could avoid so many problems by nipping it in the bud (and then not have to get their bud nipped!)
I don’t have a Willy, but the way I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand with some of the stories….
Had me SHOOK
Don’t blame the poor guys, it is the guardians/parents job to teach and show their children how to self clean at a young age, this is knowledge that needs to be passed down thru the family line…. I need to take a break now that I’m realizing that ignorance can also be passed down till someone realizes that and breaks it. AGHHH
We’re not born with all the knowledge of the world 😂😂 we are taught one way or another.
Weenor
I was holding my breasts tightly the whole time, thinking, oh no...
"Sex is for mortals..and i am a god." Umm....Zeus is one of the biggest hornballs ever.
Well, then obviously he's not a god! /joke
@@Dreamheart101 that /joke indicator seemed more like a plea to not get struck down extra hard by Zeus
@@KatSpicert Aren't the Greek gods sleeping?
The abrahamic god didn’t sleep around, nor do gods in other mythologies I’m sure.
@@KatSpicertZeus would absolutely be extra hard
10:51 unfortunately I couldn’t find a band with such a name, but I found bands with names - Prolapsed Urethral Defecation, Urethral Defecation, Urethral Coagulation, Urethral Injection, Gangrenous Urethral Secretion, Urethral Seepage, An Urethral Carcinoma, Urethral Breath, Urethral Flatulence, Urethral Comunity, Congealed Urethral Polyp and simply “Urethral”
I think Urethral Breath is my favourite 😂
NO WAIT URETHRAL FLATULENCE HAHAHAHA
The originality of goregrind bands
"For todays video, lets take a look at men who have mutilated themselves in horrifying and sometimes comedic ways!" thats whangs channel in a nutshell i guess
the lsd stories reminded me of a particular story from brazil; where a couple took lsd together at the beach and the man woke up with his stomach tore open and his intestines exposed. they claim they were attacked but the police report said the woman had a bad trip and attacked him. apparently they're still together
Is HE still together?!
When I read Brazil, I knew things were about to go off the rails. Lol.
Dude......just RIPPED the damn stomach?!
Oh god I completely forgot about that
Whang should probably do an episode on that, maybe a "bad trip" themed episode to include it and other similar stories
let it be known women randomly put their hands in their pants too
Protecting the vag?
I've never done that in my life.
Its mostly older women, and its more disgtusting. Its a big wet hole full of bacteria as opposed to skin.
@@theopulentone1650Why not?
Yeah sometimes it's just like
Okay pants time
FYI "Cooked in kitchens local to me in NY" = A migrant in a bathroom with a hotplate.
On the floor with no shoes on touching the food
“Hell’s Kitchen”
You're lucky it's not a clothes iron turned upside down.
I can only describe the current state of your mustache as "near-surreal". A real achievement. Commendable.
Fitting, as it does resemble Dali's.
Me & my old guitar shop coworkers came up with “Urethral Prolapse” as a potential (unflourished) future project in about 2017, sorry Justin
Uhhh...shit that never happened for 25000 Alex
@@manwithnoname3024 I can (try) assure you this conversation genuinely happened, I think it stemmed from some of the guys wondering if the female urethra can prolapse lol
@@manwithnoname3024 I can (try) assure you that this conversation genuinely happened, I think it stemmed from some of the guys wondering if it could happen to women lol
I can (try) assure you that this conversation genuinely happened, I think it stemmed from some of the guys wondering if it could happen to women lol, “Uterine Prolapse” just didn’t have the same ring to it y’know
@@manwithnoname3024 if they made it I'd understand this reply. But op's comment is kinda believable
2:52, learning the word 'todger'. It's always good to see someone grow as a person and learn the ways of the world.
BBC was NOT the source I needed to hear that rapper's story.
I’ve thoroughly mutilated my stuff and lost some bits and pieces because of disabling Complex Developmental PTSD, but I can’t imagine losing something you actually wanted to keep, just to miseducation. I’ve even seen much older adults who insist that you don’t NEED to wash, not even just saying they didn’t know about it, and it always makes me wonder how they got that idea.
Not being able to do ADLs is one thing, I get that, I have that problem myself-but not _knowing_ what to do means that someone seriously failed somewhere. It scary to think it can go to such extreme consequences.
(Unrelated, breaks like 6:54 just make my entire day. Whang’s giggle deserves to be protected at all costs!)
okay then 😬
Pics or it didn't happen
I heard some people saying that too (that you don't need to wash your d*ck). I'm really curious if the smell never hit them and how did that come to their minds. Why would that be the only unwashable thing? Like the pee is not collecting under the skin and there's no sweat. Maybe it burns them or something, but so many guys use a random soap or shower gel so it's not surprising, but I don't really have experience with this (I'm a woman) so, if I'm wrong, don't blame me. I know that women shouldn't use soap
5:41
For decades I thought smegma was a made up term. Meant to gross us kids out when we would talk about it. It wasn’t until literally today that I found out it’s a real word, and accurate. We’d been calling it by its appropriate name, thinking it’s slang, since elementary school. LoooooL. Thanks dood! Hahaha😂
For further clarification, please watch Bruno Powroznik's classic "Helmet Cheese"
red dwarf
“I couldn’t believe it” I’m dead lmao 😭
The sponsorship on this video, I cannot 😂
My ex-boyfriend had phimosis (not as severe as this guy, he could still pull it up a little to clean himself), but it was painful. He finally, after seeing two doctors, got an appointment with a urologist. He had to get a circumcision, which was also painful.
“Mastabation” Dude is Carl Brutananadilewski 😂
I didn't know this is what I needed or wanted on a Friday but it is exactly that.
Horrific and yet too fascinating to not get through all of them.
Definitely the parents' fault. I was taught from a very young age...to pull back even just to pee and obviously wash too. I'm completely against...snipping, but that goes with the assumption that parents are teaching their kids to wash themselves. Wth.
I'm snipped and the fact that I will never know what it's like to be fully intact as a man has scarred me both mentally, and (LITERALLY) physically.
What a disgusting practice, it's astonishing to me just how normalized it is in America.
fr a failure of the parents, not the kids' fault in this one. the kids were lucky they didn't get an infection or something
im glad i got snipped.
Honestly, the fact that my parents decided FOR ME that they would cut off part of my genitals and think nothing of it makes me really angry. It's barbaric, and I can't believe it's legal to do without a medical reason to do so.
@@fancydeer there are recorded circumcisions that were so botched that the kid needed to get their penis amputated.
Look up the kid who's snip got so botched the docs tried to "turn him into a girl", the kid ends up commiting self deletion later on when he finds out.
Not to mention all the men who suffer from lack of pleasure, botched circumcisions resulting in pain, erectile dysfunction, ect.
I could give like 100 more objectively negative effects of normal or botched circumcisions alike, but nobody's got time to read all that lol. I can tell ya if you're truly interested though.
It's genuinely horrifying, also the reason why it became a common practice makes my fucking skin crawl and my blood boil.
I researched the topic obsessively for a short period of my childhood to learn everything I could about it, and it only lead to extreme anger and disgust. It was one of the first subjects that taught me the reality of modern society, and I kind of wish I could go back to blissful ignorance honestly.
I just watched the Chicago video. "This is the one time when you shoot that guy" 😂 that commentary is gold
Where is my foreskin mother?
hamilton morris' unchanging facial reaction is the best
Guy destroyed that restaurant's business in one fell slice...
First UK penile re-attachment and "it's unclear if it was successful"?!? 🙄
Moist dropped a story today of a twitch streamer whose dog shit worms onto a delivery customer's groceries and she just delivers it and move on, and I'm thinking there's a deep dive into the fallout of this story that will make for prime 20-years-from-now-Whang-content
My mom was a nurse, she's retired. She taught me to clean under my foreskin. Shmegy was never my friend
I picked up the habit in high school during football. Our season ran through the coldest part of the year and most of us just got into the habit of cupping God's Handwarmer on the sidelines to keep our hands warm.
There was an incident where I am from about a guy that castrated himself. Later he castrated his boyfriend. The boyfriend died and he got criminal charges
The fact that rapper was taking 0 accountability and didn't think "hey if 3 different people have felt the need to get restraining orders on me maybe I should be a better person" and instead is explaining like he is just shows he still has to work. On himself a lot
One other interesting community to mention are people that have a form of body dysmorphia where they wish to have their genitalia removed. There's a subreddit for it of people showing pics of their at home penectomy's, and sharing their experiences with it. There was even a man arrested recently who was cutting off genitalia for people in his residence - you can find videos of his "work" online. It's fascinating to read about how deep body dysmorphia can go.
That's so sad and scary to learn that these major DIY surgeries are being performed on such a large scale.
Mf will always find something new that's dirty in 20 years the new things gonna be fucking floorboards and gluing your hair
Heh. His name’s Whang.
I love getting whang notifications while watching whang compilations
I’ve commented about it before but I challenge myself to eat to the latest Whang episode often and this one got me so close to changing it… You’re too good with descriptions Justin.
Holy shit, that Afrin commercial just fucking blasted me with nostalgia.
It's always friggin commercials that do that to me for some reason.
Women problems: putting soap where we shouldn't.
Men problems: not using soap where they should
😂😂😂
Mine is retracted into my body as i listen
The part about the guy bleeding out in a bucket actually got me. My stomach started to churn.
Dude the fact you get sponsors for the kind of content you do amazes me 😂. I watch all your stuff and you either leave me with a smile at the end or a look of disgust 😅. Regardless of which I always come back!
Keep up the awesome work man you rock ❤
realest video ive seen
Whang! Talking about people who cut off Whangs!
Such a pleasant and captivating seemingly non sequitur intro...only to segue into some of the most horrific shit imaginable.
Never change, Justin! 💛
Just subscribed!! I just randomly ran across your chanel and this is my first video with you!! Let me tell why i was drawn to you....i wear 2 hearing aides and have since i was 6 years old (I am 61 now) i have high pitch deafness so bass sounds are pleasing to my ears. Your voice is AWESOME!! The tone, the volume, your speech pattern and pronunciation!! Amazing to listen to!! Thank you!! From Salem Oregon!! (Not to mention you are very easy on the eyes).....
I'm not normally one to pick apart sponsored plugs, but who exactly is CookUnity mad at when they say "It's not slop produced in a warehouse?" Who is that a jab at? HelloFresh? Inquiring minds want to know.
A certified Whang banger
Whanger.
Now this is the kind of quality content I expect from a channel called "Whang!"
BEAUTIFUL and absolutely perfect song choice! Love it!
It's nice to know that men have their own version of "holding your titty for no reason."
Oh other people do it? Good-
I have so much empathy for the foreskin men who didn’t know to clean it. Poor guys.
Thank God I'm cut
Ong so glad im cut (im a girl)
Your vids are always super entertaining, Urethral Prolapse! Awesome, you know someone is gonna take that now!
I love your channel a lot man, I’ve been watching for a long time.
Someday someone should compile all of the text of Whang like in 2:53 in a single big compendium of what he's capable or knolwedgeable or capable
Like in this case he just learned the word "Todger"
GOTTA KEEP YOUR WHANG! SAFE
Bravo Whang! Hahaha what an excellent video I wouldn’t expect anything less from you than this. 💖
tfw I genuinely couldnt tell where the ad ended and the video started, cookunity really do be serving wild stuff
Just woke up. Having this for breakfast thx Whang
Good morning 😎
It’s bed time for me
I don’t think some of these men will have cheerful mornings anymore. :(
Pair the first half with a grilled cheese
Hey, my sister worked with the initial doctor that the rapper who cut his johnson went to.
She did tell me they couldnt save it but they probably wouldn't have known what happened after
So either she or the doctor broke patient confidentiality?
Dear gods… that second story about not washing down there… even my 5 year old is learning about that, since he couldn’t be circumcised due to medical reasons, and even he’ll retract it when he’s in the shower. A silly little 5 year old who thinks more about Blippi and toys more than anything still has an idea of what to do to keep himself clean! Jeez what are parents thinking???
Needed this 😮💨
I literally just got off work for the weekend, my wife is making home made club sandwiches and home fries, and there is a new whang video.
Life is good.
Fuck yea😎 we just ordered pizza.
I'm about to dine on the sublime Kraft Dinnah
My farts are better than Whang's farts.
That's a good wife you got there!
Things that never happened:
Who the hell goes through life without ever washing their junk? Did their parents teach them anything about bathing? Start from your head and work your way to your toes. Do not forget your junk - you sweat down there constantly.
This is just part of life! If you don't keep it clean, it's going to start getting nasty. How is this not a self-correcting problem?
This was the first of your videos that I didn’t eat while watching. I’m about to hold my junk close like a crying child, and tell it that it is special and I love it. I ate slurp shop noodles during blowfly girl. I ate chicken wings during meat spin. Now I have to cradle my junk and tell it that things are going to be alright.’
the “eek!” song in the intro was genius
do NOT diy your bottom surgery, folks!
It wouldn't even look like a vagina it would just look like a round meat hole 💀
I've always thought
*"Testicular Vericose Vein"*
Would be a really good band
name.
Yknow I've never actually considered the fact that varicose veins can appear in the testicles too...
amazing as always
thank you so much for stopping at the end of slipknot to take pictures man. You made my whole weekend🤟🤟🫶
Get home safe man 😝🤟
I find it funny that with all the comments there have been on Whang's most recent videos requesting him to talk about it, Justin managed to not do a video on and completely evade Everyone Knows That while it was still unidentified and being searched for. And considering it's now found, commenting on a new Whang video saying "HEY WHANG COVER EKT FOR YOUR NEXT VIDEO PLS" has no point anymore. It's like he doesn't like the song and didn't want to cover it because he's a simp for Like The Wind...
Maybe like myself he has no idea what that is 😂
The most mysterious song was found. Its called ulterior motives. Its from an adult film please talk about this
As a nurse I’ve had so many patients that are like 10-16 that get UTIs and other infections from not cleaning correctly. If you aren’t circumcised clean that shit daily.
And for the afrin- it’s a vasoconstrictor. Amazing for stuffy sinuses, actually the only allergy medicine I’ve found that actually helps with stuffy sinuses. Anyway, it can be the same problem as epinephrine- can cut off circulation too long if applied in the wrong locations and cause huge issues.
Do you think circumcision was invented because people back in the day found it easier to cut it off rather than have that convo with their son? Lol
Probably. Since it's popular mostly in dry arid climates i assume it's because of a lack water. If you're constantly on the search for water, bathing isn't exactly practical.