Mike Tyson smashes Steven Seagal in this dumpster fire | So Bad It's Good #89 - China Salesman

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  • Опубліковано 23 лип 2022
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    Watch a Chinese propaganda film, they said. It has Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal, they said. It's almost two hours long, they said. Well, we finally watched this hot garbage and now I want to quit the channel. This one was tough to get through. At least we see Seagal get his butt kicked. Kinda.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,1 тис.

  • @JasonBrant
    @JasonBrant  Рік тому +73

    Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring today's video. Go to establishedtitles.com/JASONBRANT to get 10% off today.

    • @Humongous420
      @Humongous420 Рік тому +1

      I have an on going gag on my live show involving Lord Humungus and myself, Lord Humungous Fungus of Urungus! He keeps interrupting my damn show and running his gums from behind his mask...He made me so mad I became a TRUE Lord! Thanks to Established Titles for making this joke a reality and a really good laugh on the Humungus Shit Show!
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    • @OIFIIIOIF-VET
      @OIFIIIOIF-VET Рік тому +1

      I told ya this shit was the greatest!!! AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA

    • @myhorsethesenet33
      @myhorsethesenet33 Рік тому +2

      There is a really bad movie called the amazing bulk. Check it out,. Seriously you guys will like it

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase Рік тому

      You´re too dumb, pal. You don´t even know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. You jerk really believe that Tyson smashed Seagal. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself.

    • @adnaanu
      @adnaanu Рік тому +28

      It's a scam. A friend of mine fell for a similar one and thought he was going to be Lord of Glencoe. All they did was change his name to Lord by deed poll.

  • @BrianVarvaro
    @BrianVarvaro Рік тому +1027

    This has an amazing IMDB trivia entry: "Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character."

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +178

      That's hilarious.

    • @darkzer0670
      @darkzer0670 Рік тому +93

      I had to look that up to see if it was true. Whoever put that in there is a Legend 🤣🤣🤣

    • @robotrix
      @robotrix Рік тому +36

      Yeah....that's why Seagal did it. Sure.

    • @eduardodiaz9942
      @eduardodiaz9942 Рік тому +59

      "The movie was a bomb in China"
      Yep, that checks out

    • @konstantinschafer2122
      @konstantinschafer2122 Рік тому +9

      It would surprise me, when he one day wouldn't put on more weight...

  • @WebbyMcWebberson
    @WebbyMcWebberson Рік тому +872

    China salesman wasn’t even that bad it just needed better acting, casting, plot, directing, characters, effects, lighting, scenes, structure, soundtrack,editing and weight loss

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +89

      True.

    • @aysada
      @aysada Рік тому +26

      Don't forget Art Direction. That was shitty art direction.

    • @euphan123
      @euphan123 Рік тому +29

      And the kraft service table SUCKED

    • @Specter5053
      @Specter5053 Рік тому +8

      Ya you can really improve a bad movie by changing everything about it.

    • @shrapnel77
      @shrapnel77 Рік тому +11

      @@euphan123 No kraft service can handle the onslaught of Steven Seagal.

  • @LjIzTheCrew
    @LjIzTheCrew Рік тому +120

    Fun fact, Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal were never in the same room together for that fight, their parts were shot in different countries

    • @JDascrambler
      @JDascrambler Рік тому +22

      That makes perfect sense

    • @willr.ingramiii
      @willr.ingramiii Рік тому +5

      What happened to the movies with S.S.
      In the older movies made more sense.
      What the F*ck happened??

  • @ViralBallistic
    @ViralBallistic Рік тому +234

    Steven is a fighter. He's been fighting against diets and good acting for decades

    • @Chromeize
      @Chromeize Рік тому +9

      Ever seen him run? One of his first title roll movies had him bone thin, running like sissy with his balding ponytail lol.

    • @uchidaoginome
      @uchidaoginome Рік тому +11

      ​@@Chromeize that was his first movie, Above the Law, and it was actually good. he smiles, cries, jokes & dances with Pam Grier (while following a suspect into a nightclub) and pals around at a barbeque with colleagues and family members and acts like a normal human being for the first and last time! Guess once he got a multi-picture deal he figured he could hang up the thin sliver of personality he had shown us. It was now time to act like a self-deluded prick for the next 30 years.

    • @00tree
      @00tree 10 місяців тому

      You got me.

    • @kiki_yagelovskaya
      @kiki_yagelovskaya 9 місяців тому

      And he laundered more than any Mexican ever.

    • @willcardona7712
      @willcardona7712 8 місяців тому +2

      And he's been victorious.

  • @capncrunch6209
    @capncrunch6209 Рік тому +696

    I totally agree with the double theory, no way would Seagal film himself getting beat up. They filmed half the fight scene waited for him to go home and nap and then finished it.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +126

      I'm pretty convinced that's what happened.

    • @doctorthirteen5499
      @doctorthirteen5499 Рік тому +149

      They attached a hamburger to a string and pulled it until he was well off the set.

    • @Uncle_T
      @Uncle_T Рік тому +9

      Likelyhood - 100%!

    • @arrongumbrell539
      @arrongumbrell539 Рік тому +36

      I read somewhere neither were on set together at the same time.

    • @roy12525
      @roy12525 Рік тому +29

      If you look at the movie's IMDB page, one of the front page photos is of Mike Tyson with the stunt double

  • @jamesm1
    @jamesm1 Рік тому +400

    It is hilarious that it took the Chinese government creating an action movie and his opponent being literal Mike Tyson, for Seagal to get his ass beat in a fight on screen lol.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +46

      True 🤣

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 Рік тому +44

      Not even Seagal dares to defy emperor Xi.

    • @jillvalentinefan77
      @jillvalentinefan77 Рік тому +18

      Even the mighty blob Segal can't take on Mike Tyson with the Chinese backup.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase Рік тому

      You jerk doesn´t notice or know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself. They (producers) told Seagal that the fight would end up in a draw. After cutting the movie Tyson was the winner because Seagal was not on the set.

    • @euphan123
      @euphan123 Рік тому +9

      They also waited for The Year Of The Dragon to end, he too strong befo’

  • @Harbinger1978
    @Harbinger1978 Рік тому +65

    In case anyone is interested, as a screenwriter I had to adapt a script written for a US market to one suited for China. Although it wasn't state funded, it would still need to adhere to MANY rules to be permitted a theatrical release. 1) No antagonist can be the nationality of one of China's allies (I had a Russian villain I was forced to change) 2) No western actor can score with a native female love interest if there is another equally heroic Chinese character. 3) No homosexuality and limited use of drugs (if any) 4) If dual protagonists, one of which is Chinese, the Westerner cannot be seen to solve every puzzle. 5) No authority be it the police, intelligence or any agency of the People's Republic of China can be shown to be corrupt, ineffective or inept. And there were MANY more. Thankfully, the project fell apart because it was moving dangerously close to a Seagal movie!

    • @BucketOfFuk
      @BucketOfFuk 6 місяців тому +4

      Horrific.

    • @CRazY-zp3sk
      @CRazY-zp3sk 4 місяці тому +3

      @@BucketOfFuk The us government has rules for how Hollywood portrays them as well, look it up. They influence movies and stuff all the time.

    • @BucketOfFuk
      @BucketOfFuk 4 місяці тому +2

      @@CRazY-zp3sk Welp. That's twice as horrific

    • @raifthemad
      @raifthemad 2 місяці тому +4

      @@CRazY-zp3sk Not really. The US army has rules though, but only for those movies, that want to use military equipment and manpower without having to pay for it. So if you want to use US army resources for free, you have to send them your screenplay and make changes that they request. Only natural for an organization to offer its resources for PR. If you say no, only thing that happens, is that you have to pay for the stuff. No one is going to stop you from publishing your movie.

    • @manojkothwal3586
      @manojkothwal3586 25 днів тому

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 dumpster 🔥

  • @lostkev4739
    @lostkev4739 Рік тому +318

    Jason kills me every time he sees Seagal feel up those poor women
    “He’s such a piece of shit” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 never fails Lmao!!!

    • @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis
      @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis Рік тому +17

      Same. It’s what we’re all thinking. There’s no point in him feeling up some poor struggling actress/ he just has to do it. He can’t help it, he’s so big and sloppy and old it just comes off as creepy. Doesn’t add to the plot at all.

    • @mylex817
      @mylex817 Рік тому +14

      There is an interview with one of the directors of his films, Titus Paar, where he described how Steven will only sign his acting contracts if they include him having intimate scenes with young Asian women, whose actresses he picks himself.

    • @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis
      @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis Рік тому +1

      I can only imagine if that’s the stuff we know, imagine the stuff we don’t know. Imagine Sloppy old Steven Seagal asking you to suck his dick and he’ll help you get an acting role somewhere. He looks like he wears SO much cologne, and he probably breathes really hard all the time, in addition to the mumbling. Just gross.

    • @mylex817
      @mylex817 Рік тому +8

      @@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis I would not be surprised if that was the case. And this does not even take into account all the abuse allegations

  • @stonecoldku4161
    @stonecoldku4161 Рік тому +290

    I needed subtitles for Seagal more than I did for the Chinese in this movie.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +25

      🤣 🤣

    • @GamesFromSpace
      @GamesFromSpace Рік тому +16

      [Burger chewing noises]

    • @AnikMonette
      @AnikMonette 7 місяців тому +1

      Fair! I watched the original Pulse the other night and even then I understood basic stuff easily.
      Although Steven Seagal here seems a little more clear than in Kill Switch...

  • @MrTheRaneb
    @MrTheRaneb Рік тому +310

    Jason : Dont crack that beer. The movie is almost over
    Dave : Hey..... Shut up

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +40

      🤣 🤣 🤣

    • @michaelscott8845
      @michaelscott8845 Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant i was hoping he would shotgun it while looking you in the eye the entire time lol

    • @jacobrenderos9612
      @jacobrenderos9612 Рік тому +3

      Underrated comment 🤣🤣🤣

    • @RossTheNinja
      @RossTheNinja 10 місяців тому

      Best claim to fame for any actor must be telling iron mike to shut up.

  • @bryce4228
    @bryce4228 Рік тому +74

    "Why does the government of China want this movie to even exist?"
    So people know that China's building infrastructure in Africa, but they can make it boring enough that people don't find out they're doing it through predatory loans and debt slavery.

    • @pinzazzzz
      @pinzazzzz Рік тому

      They've literally written off a bunch of loans but...like you know, maybe just enjoy the shlockfest for what it is.

    • @bouncingbluesoul5270
      @bouncingbluesoul5270 Рік тому +5

      @@pinzazzzz source : Trust me, I've got this.

  • @craigwestergard9676
    @craigwestergard9676 Рік тому +217

    It's important to note that Chinese "companies" have been working land deals for years in Africa for mining operations for scarce resources. They usually come equipped with their own security team loaded to the gills with weaponry. They normally encroach on territories that aren't theirs and use the security force to intimidate the surrounding land owners and the local governments that granted the initial deal. It's no coincidence that this movie is centered around Africa. They are going to strip that place dry by any means necessary.

    • @xancypillosi9497
      @xancypillosi9497 Рік тому +20

      Facts. They have military bases there also. Promising helping the countries develop etc

    • @911shan
      @911shan Рік тому +1

      Sounds a lot like the US of A. Only, that they don't install a puppet government, force western liberalism laws and policies, and cause civil wars or invade nations in the process.

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 Рік тому +30

      Good to know colonialism is alive and well.

    • @SuperMickyChow
      @SuperMickyChow Рік тому +5

      Source: Trust me, bro

    • @freezeitkonto8925
      @freezeitkonto8925 Рік тому +9

      So just like the west?

  • @Low_Rent
    @Low_Rent Рік тому +237

    When Dave laughed real hard it looked like Segal on his shirt was chewing food. Lol

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +30

      I thought the same thing!

    • @johndillermand4053
      @johndillermand4053 Рік тому +5

      To be fair, Sensei looks like his mouth is always full of food

    • @bvs56
      @bvs56 Рік тому

      I thought I was the only one who noticed that. It elevated this video to hilarious status.

    • @steves1112000
      @steves1112000 Рік тому +1

      He was.

    • @leeweesquee
      @leeweesquee Рік тому +1

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

  • @hailcthulhu419
    @hailcthulhu419 Рік тому +91

    You just know that Seagal is delusional enough to believe that he could beat Tyson in a fight in real life. 🤣

    • @WeirdNeville
      @WeirdNeville Рік тому +9

      Can you imagine the pay per view revenue? I'd pay $20 to see that fight in the full knowledge it would last the full duration of Mike's fist accelerating just 2 feet from his body, and clean though Steven SeaDrawls jaw.

    • @hailcthulhu419
      @hailcthulhu419 Рік тому +1

      @@WeirdNeville yeah, I'd definately pay to see Tyson take Seagal's head clean off with a single punch. 🤣

    • @johnstrickland3933
      @johnstrickland3933 Рік тому +1

      akido has cam under attack recently for not being affective. but boxing yes might not be as popular as it once was has never been called unaffected

    • @johnstrickland3933
      @johnstrickland3933 Рік тому

      an Mike Tyson is known as one of best boxers out there

    • @MrNicodepies
      @MrNicodepies Рік тому

      1000% lol

  • @BileDuctBalderdash
    @BileDuctBalderdash Рік тому +33

    I laughed so hard when Steven Seagal slapped Mike Tyson's ear at a lame reference to when he bit off Holyfield's ear

  • @echochamber4420
    @echochamber4420 Рік тому +25

    Fun Facts:
    The Mandarin speaking scene where Steven Seagal interrupts a conversation between Dong-xue Li and Li Ai telling them "to speak English" was due to Seagal forgetting his lines. This was inadvertently left in the final cut of the movie.
    Despite being featured heavily in the film's marketing, the conflict between Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal is just a small subplot that consists of just one short fight at the beginning of the movie (and during most of it Seagal is clearly replaced by his stuntman), and that is the only scene that the 2 of them share.
    The bulk of the film was made in Dandenong, Australia, using refugees from South Sudan. The money saved on the production allowed for Seagal's expensive tastes in food and women.
    Both stars of this movie, Steven Seagal and Mike Tyson, have been accused of sexual assault. Tyson was convicted.
    Director Tan Bing actively sought out and created the role for Steven Seagal, after weaving viral video of Seagal's Akido skills at the Saratov Sambo tournament, which was filmed in Russia a few years earlier. Bing said "It was an honor to have an Aikido master like Steven perform his art in this film."
    Steven Seagal has it in his contract that he must either have a "sex scene" with a woman or be able to freely "touch" her without getting in trouble.
    This movie was a huge bomb in China.
    Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character.
    Mike Tyson is American, but speaks in an African accent.
    The Sandstorm scene was inspired by Mad Max Fury Road.
    Mike Tyson filmed this movie and Ip Man 3 around the same time.

  • @A-A-Ron_E
    @A-A-Ron_E Рік тому +126

    Just spit my coffee. "They're literally just talking about installing cell phone equipment." *Dave's blank stare* 🤣

  • @csmadisun
    @csmadisun Рік тому +292

    Here's some facts to help lick your wounds:
    - You missed this, but the opening credits says "GUEST STARRING STEVE SEGAL". They misspelt Seagal's name! (it's at 4:40 in this video, for anyone wanting to check)
    - There's some scenes you didn't include in this video that are absolute GOLD. The motorbike in the beginning had Seagal's face really badly pasted onto the helmet. It's amazing.
    - Also not shown: there's a scene where two actors are speaking in Mandarin, and Seagal tells them to "speak English". Allegedly that's because Seagal forgot his lines - something I think we can all believe.
    - The majority of the movie was filmed in Dandenong, Australia, and used a LOT of refugees who'd come from South Sudan. As you can imagine, this cuts costs significantly.
    - This won an award! At the Beijing Student Film Festival, it won a Special Jury Award.
    - The trivia section for this film on IMDB is FILLED with digs at Seagal. It's actually kind of hilarious.

    • @BigBass-xf5yi
      @BigBass-xf5yi Рік тому +12

      Good info. Thanks, will check it out.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +64

      Digs at Seagal? I'll take a look 🤣

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 Рік тому +34

      I wonder how many social credits Seafood Seagal earned with this flick.

    • @csmadisun
      @csmadisun Рік тому +3

      @@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Why else did they have to film in Australia? All the money went on hiring Se(a)gal.

    • @davidbedard6824
      @davidbedard6824 Рік тому +8

      and it said Steve Segal...instead of Steven

  • @CH-vs7ex
    @CH-vs7ex Рік тому +12

    It's almost like Seagal found out they had him lose that fight at the beginning and then refused to be in any more of the movie after that.

  • @luccirobbins6675
    @luccirobbins6675 Рік тому +59

    We do not show enough appreciation to you guys for sitting through these crappy movies for our entertainment. Thank you Jason! Also, your Seagal fat jokes made me realize I’m as big as him and motivated me to lose weight. I’ve lost 30 pounds and am now at the smallest I’ve been in 10 years, and counting.

    • @jacobrenderos9612
      @jacobrenderos9612 Рік тому +6

      Imagine your motivation for losing weight is literally not to look like Steven Seagal 😂 All jokes aside, that’s awesome you have reached & continue to exceed your personal record with your weight loss journey. The amount of work, dedication & discipline is commendable & usually very underrated. Keep up the good work, Champ! ✊🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @jonnygiantrobot
      @jonnygiantrobot 9 місяців тому +1

      You are insightful and right😊

  • @Obironnkenobi
    @Obironnkenobi Рік тому +63

    Mike Tyson was in Ip Man 3 and was pretty good. He barely spoke and all he had to do was fight Donnie Yen and look like a violent badass, but he did the role really well.

    • @crankfastle8138
      @crankfastle8138 Рік тому +11

      Yes, the fight scene was clever enough to stroke both their egos. Fight to a draw because of a time limit.

    • @joshcarter-com
      @joshcarter-com 7 місяців тому +1

      I genuinely enjoyed Tyson in Ip Man 3. The shot where he’s punching out the glass windows behind Donnie Yen is just magic.

  • @mvyper
    @mvyper Рік тому +20

    As far as I know, Tyson and Seagal have never actually met during filming. The whole fighting scene was filmed using doubles.

    • @alexakaa.charlesross8919
      @alexakaa.charlesross8919 Рік тому +4

      That's insane

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +10

      Definitely looks lik eit.

    • @AztecUnshaven
      @AztecUnshaven Рік тому +4

      They're friendly with each other in real life, but yeah they did zero scenes together in this terrible film. One of Seagal's doubles does a behind the scenes of this here on youtube.

  • @thenotaryjerod12
    @thenotaryjerod12 Рік тому +9

    A movie so bad you actually said out loud, "I want to see Seagal." ... damn, I'm glad you guys made it out alive.

  • @arnaudsprenger7505
    @arnaudsprenger7505 Рік тому +7

    You guys said EXACTLY what I thought. Steven Seagal doesnt lose, so they recorded the stunt double losing after Seagal had left the set.
    Also, rumour has it, that on Exectutive Decision (the one with Kurt Russell) they recorded the entire movie with him as the star, but did it again with Russell after he left so they could kill him off after 10 minutes.

  • @euphan123
    @euphan123 Рік тому +21

    “Our people are NOT extinct!” Bro, I’m in my company’s break-room and literally spit the biscuits out of my mouth!🤣

  • @ExUSSailor
    @ExUSSailor Рік тому +83

    Not only is Sensei Seagal, in his own mind, anyway, the greatest martial artist of all-time, and, the greatest action star of all-time, he also fancies himself a legendary blues man. On his record, "Songs From The Crystal Cave", he included a Jamaican Dancehall collabaration with Lady Saw, called, "Me Want The Punani". It MUST be listened to. It is absolutely HILARIOUS!

    • @nignamedmutt7270
      @nignamedmutt7270 Рік тому

      LADY SAW?!?!?!? YOU MEAN THE SAME LADY SAW WHO MADE THE MASTERPIECE SONG "I WANNA FUCK YOU WITH MY HEELS ON"?!?!?!?
      I'm kidding, I already know it's the same lady saw lol
      She's a fucking poet though.
      "I wanna fuck you with my heels on *YEAH*
      Let me ride on your ding dong"

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +37

      I listened to that and considered chugging bleach afterward.

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 Рік тому +7

      His version of the Hoochie Coochie Man shown in Jontron's video is pure hilarity.

    • @stagalgiz1097
      @stagalgiz1097 Рік тому +6

      I listened for all of a minute, I think I want to sue you to get my minute back. I now have ear aids. I want to play in a freeway, and jump into a lake with a chain wrapped around my ankles tied to a boulder.... That is how bad that song is.

    • @megatronjenkins2473
      @megatronjenkins2473 Рік тому +10

      @@JasonBrant I just listened to about 30 seconds, and I need to go lie down.
      On some railroad tracks.

  • @jaybenton7716
    @jaybenton7716 Рік тому +7

    Every time Dave laughs hard, Seagal on his t-shirt laughs with him.

  • @Psyrus88
    @Psyrus88 Рік тому +12

    I think you hit the nail on the head regarding Seagal's absence in the latter half of that fight. Chinese filmmakers are notorious for this. Case-in-point: Richard Harrison. He shot 20 films, yet ended up "starring" in excess of 100 more.

  • @mauri213
    @mauri213 Рік тому +19

    30:23 “Hey, shut up!” = One of the greatest movie lines ever!

  • @TheSouldead1
    @TheSouldead1 Рік тому +20

    I’m guessing the smack in the ear was for Holyfield. 🤣🤣

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +8

      Ohh, I never considered that. I'm an idiot.

  • @nattycasper2022
    @nattycasper2022 Рік тому +17

    Dude laughing hard and making Seagal's face jiggle is everything.

  • @ericparker308
    @ericparker308 Рік тому +21

    The suffering is real on this one. It was almost painful for me but I was too busy laughing at Dave's misery...lol Great episode again.

  • @gafrers
    @gafrers Рік тому +44

    I remember reading that Tyson and Fatgal didn't even meet for this movie, all their scenes were recorded separately.
    I don't drink but to watch this movie i think i'd need a full bottle of Vodka, Whiskey, Gin and whatever other strong drink there is.

    • @oifocker
      @oifocker Рік тому +9

      Yeah I heard something similar on ralphthemoviemaker's review, I think. I've probably watched more accumulative minutes in reviews of this movie than the runtime of the movie itself!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +12

      It looks like most of Tyson's work was shot in front of a green screen.

    • @hansgraichen8051
      @hansgraichen8051 Рік тому +2

      I watched it sober. Multiple viewings of Dickshark prepared me.

    • @gafrers
      @gafrers Рік тому +1

      @@hansgraichen8051 You are a champion. Your fortitude is insane.

    • @brianokane1698
      @brianokane1698 Рік тому

      😂😂😂😂

  • @EmlynBoyle
    @EmlynBoyle Рік тому +21

    Forget King Kong vs Godzilla, Batman V Superman, Vader vs Obi-Wan. Tyson vs Seagal is the greatest square off ever...said no one ever.

  • @danialm17
    @danialm17 Рік тому +4

    30:23 I literally burst out laughing so hard when the guy said shut up to Mike Tyson.

  • @majklnedic6358
    @majklnedic6358 Рік тому +18

    Are you trying to kill me? Hey shut up!!! 😂 Best scene in the whole movie. I feel bad for you Jason and Dave, going through this is tough 😢😢😢 but watching you guys making up your own storys made it kinda interesting. 😂 Seagal is awesome😝

  • @carldzoga1348
    @carldzoga1348 Рік тому +33

    I've noticed EVERY Seagal film makes The Room look like a better more competent film with each installment!

  • @hobbyingatmikes3954
    @hobbyingatmikes3954 Рік тому +38

    Dave is a champ for filming that opening! So epic!

  • @rescot00
    @rescot00 Рік тому +11

    You two have amazing chemistry even over a terrible terrible movie.

    • @bombomos
      @bombomos Рік тому

      They should smooch

  • @tessalyyvuo1667
    @tessalyyvuo1667 Рік тому +4

    Same year Seagal was in this Chinese propaganda movie, he complained about propaganda in America. Talk about hypocrisy.

    • @necrogenesis1981
      @necrogenesis1981 Рік тому +4

      Now he’s in Russia spreading different propaganda lol

  • @ZachSeg3425
    @ZachSeg3425 Рік тому +39

    Dave looked like he was being tortured this whole movie 😂

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +7

      He was.

    • @ZachSeg3425
      @ZachSeg3425 Рік тому +5

      Just what I needed to start my Sunday off… Chinese propaganda

    • @megatronjenkins2473
      @megatronjenkins2473 Рік тому +2

      @@ZachSeg3425 better this than After Last Season....

    • @haeuptlingaberja4927
      @haeuptlingaberja4927 Рік тому +2

      Who are these Patreon sadists?

    • @Mark-uh4zd
      @Mark-uh4zd Рік тому

      @@mikehunt4986 it’s fun to make fun of how bad the movie is.

  • @jbs818
    @jbs818 Рік тому +9

    I know you guys were struggling to figure out who the hero in this disaster even was, but I think we can all agree that it ended up being the “Hey. Shut up” guy.

  • @galogiha
    @galogiha Рік тому +5

    my favourite bits of the movie are:
    the face of sifu cello taped onto that bike helmet and the fact that all the weight tyson lost, "segal" found.

  • @locknstock9423
    @locknstock9423 Рік тому +10

    I applaud you lads for suffering through this absolute trainwreck for our entertainment. Keep them coming.

  • @tattooeddragon
    @tattooeddragon Рік тому +10

    This has got to be the best Chinese adaptation of Wuthering Heights I have ever seen!

  • @chrisingram9798
    @chrisingram9798 Рік тому +69

    It must be compulsory that Dave wear that sweet sweet mullet wig whenever he watches a Sensei Segal movie.
    Congrats on 50k Jason!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +16

      Thanks! I'll tell him he has to wear the wig from now.

  • @icykickflip
    @icykickflip 7 місяців тому +1

    30:40
    when Dave’s gut jiggles from laughing - Sefu himself looks like he’s laughing

  • @BigMikeDTW
    @BigMikeDTW Рік тому +12

    Now you know why I've been requesting this one for so long. I wanted someone else to experience the same torture I went through. It's hours of my life I will never EVER get back. BTW - My girlfriend is from Shanghai and agrees that this is the worst piece of shit she's ever seen. She hates China even more after watching this movie.

  • @carldzoga1348
    @carldzoga1348 Рік тому +11

    The movie should've ended when Seagal lost that fight, would've won an Oscar, LOL

  • @maxsidetracks4990
    @maxsidetracks4990 Рік тому +15

    Damn, that was brutal. I will admit tho that the propaganda parts were kinda hilarious in their ineptness. Also "Hey China, how are you?" and "Hey! Shut up!" had me in stitches.

  • @gauloiseguy
    @gauloiseguy 2 місяці тому +1

    My hypotheses on Aikido:
    Every time you defeat an opponent you absorb some of his bodyfat.
    Seagal is truly an Aikido master.

  • @ExtraLexical
    @ExtraLexical Рік тому +1

    "Hey. Shut up!" absolutely killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @stonecoldku4161
    @stonecoldku4161 Рік тому +14

    "So, when you're fighting a tank, the best thing to do is get out of an armored vehicle and shoot at it."
    "Yes. Yes, throw rocks at it."
    Hey, it worked for Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +2

      haha.

    • @stonecoldku4161
      @stonecoldku4161 Рік тому +1

      @@JasonBrant Hey, there were some realistic things in that movie. The biggest one was where Harrison Ford said "Fly? Yes. Land? No."

  • @Gamerdude18isback
    @Gamerdude18isback Рік тому +41

    I honestly thought the title was some sort of in-joke clickbait at first; I've seen quite a few of your Seagal videos and I literally never thought I would see him lose a fight scene. There's simply no way his mayo-guzzling ego would allow it to happen. I think we all came together in collective shock there, and I absolutely buy the stunt double theory.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +10

      I bet everyone thinks it's clickbait, haha.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase Рік тому

      He didn´t lose the fight, jerk. Don´t you see that you never see Tyson and Seagal in the same scene? Tyson fought against a Seagal double because Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. But that´s the thing with "compuer warriors" hiding behind the computer. They don´t know anything!!!

    • @brianokane1698
      @brianokane1698 Рік тому

      Mee too-

  • @ALAH13
    @ALAH13 Рік тому +2

    That was the most riveting Chinese propaganda film about setting up a cellular network I've ever seen.

  • @SheevPalpatine
    @SheevPalpatine Рік тому +3

    Having seen the full fight scene between Seagal and Tyson, I'm convinced they were never in the same room together and only fought each other's doubles.

  • @ChipWhitingtonIII
    @ChipWhitingtonIII Рік тому +10

    7:22 "God, I hate him"
    We all do, Dave... we all do.

  • @benaldredge2671
    @benaldredge2671 Рік тому +38

    Love when Dave is part of a review, and the shirt he’s wearing is hilarious.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +5

      A viewer sent us a bunch of Seagal shirts 🤣

    • @WordToMomsYo
      @WordToMomsYo Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant i was gonna ask, "did you guys make 'Anybody Seen Richie' t-shirts??"

  • @davidtatro7457
    @davidtatro7457 Місяць тому +1

    I come back and watch this again periodically, because it's one of the funniest videos you and Dave have ever done together.

  • @pr9039
    @pr9039 Рік тому +2

    It's a rare thing to find a movie where Steven Seagal is the most understandable person in the cast.

  • @jeremiahramirez8915
    @jeremiahramirez8915 Рік тому +37

    You know for a fact that 90 percent of people that watched this in China felt so proud during this movie.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +17

      That flag waving scene was brutal.

    • @eduardodiaz9942
      @eduardodiaz9942 Рік тому +11

      If I were Chinese I would feel insulted and embarrassed to see my tax money going into this abomination

    • @BigMikeDTW
      @BigMikeDTW Рік тому +10

      My girlfriend is Chinese... like, born in China and moved to the US 5 years ago Chinese. She was embarrassed by this film and laughed at how horrible it is.

    • @eduardodiaz9942
      @eduardodiaz9942 Рік тому +9

      @Henrique According to the IMDB page of this film, it was a failure even in China, so yeah

    • @souldry
      @souldry Рік тому +2

      @@eduardodiaz9942 as if they’d give you the right to feel insulted

  • @punchfisttop
    @punchfisttop Рік тому +11

    You two deserve the metal of honor.

  • @Snow10101
    @Snow10101 Рік тому +1

    I laughed, I cried, and I cheered for this . Laughed at your suffering, cried thinking of having to watch this whole movie myself, and cheered for the credits.

  • @thefoolishgmodcube2644
    @thefoolishgmodcube2644 Рік тому +2

    Aw, I was waiting for the part where Steven Seagal says "Hey, why don't you guys speak english?" while looking at the wall instead of the guy he's talking to. That was the funniest shit

  • @angryman2406
    @angryman2406 Рік тому +8

    Seagal falling legit made me stop what I was doing and sit down to watch closer. Wow.

  • @insanitypepper1740
    @insanitypepper1740 Рік тому +8

    I had the same reaction when I learned Tyson was in this. After the first scene with him i was like "oh..."

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +3

      The excitement dissipates quickly.

  • @kelvinmartinez4770
    @kelvinmartinez4770 Рік тому +1

    I love how Seagal meme has become larger than him and his Ego combined

  • @bilbobagginssword3926
    @bilbobagginssword3926 11 місяців тому +2

    You guys are awesome. It’s like Siskel/Ebert meets Mystery Science 2000. Very funny guys , enjoyed it!

  • @davidlewis6857
    @davidlewis6857 Рік тому +21

    I'm looking forward to you releasing two videos a week. You are now officially my favourite UA-cam channel and I've re-watched many videos a dozen times. You've all got such a great family like chemistry together. One warning though: if this means you'll be releasing two Seagal videos in a week them I'm deleting the internet!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +10

      I'd rather die than do back-to-back Seagal movies.

    • @everforward5561
      @everforward5561 Рік тому +2

      @@JasonBrantIs there any difference between that and death?

    • @ferdonandebull
      @ferdonandebull Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant everyone says that… but oddly enough no one has committed suicide to prevent the occurrence..
      Cause sea gal is a sneaky bastard and it could happen..

    • @elephant_888
      @elephant_888 Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @scottguanci7806
    @scottguanci7806 Рік тому +16

    Wow that looked painful 😖 hope the next one isn't the torture this was. You guys are warriors!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +7

      Nothing is this painful 🤣

  • @FLHBR
    @FLHBR Рік тому +1

    30:28 I come back periodically to this video, just to hear Dave laugh.🤣 It just improves my mood!😅 Thanks, you guys.😉

  • @TBH-nu2so
    @TBH-nu2so Місяць тому

    This is truly a movie. I don’t know of any other film that crams 50 plot lines into 2 hours while remaining consistently boring. That’s got to be an accomplishment.

  • @1massboy
    @1massboy Рік тому +3

    “ I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for that moment.”
    A lot of us have Jason. A lot of us have.

  • @novamo
    @novamo Рік тому +8

    Did you miss the part where Seagal was riding a motorcycle? It was like an image of his face was pasted on the helmet! Which I think is what actually happened.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +6

      I think we mentioned it in the full-length review. It's so bad.

    • @novamo
      @novamo Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant When you complained about the movie two days ago I thought it was the usual complaining. But I watched the movie myself and it was horrible. Even by Seagal standards. I quit half way through the movie.

  • @retard-face4120
    @retard-face4120 Рік тому +1

    26:58 - Seagal sounded so clear because he was probably talking to the producers of the film on the phone, and being asked if he'd be okay with filming a scene where Tyson beats him up and he loses the fight.

  • @Legionaer666
    @Legionaer666 Рік тому +7

    I think we owe something to the directors for finally making Seagal getting his ass kicked.

  • @ahmadalgaree506
    @ahmadalgaree506 Рік тому +5

    This is the first Seagal movie where we all suffered as much as you. This truly was an abomination.
    PS, I agree. Seagal was not told he would get knocked out.

    • @BigMikeDTW
      @BigMikeDTW Рік тому +3

      "They probably filmed Seagal's scenes and then had Tyson beat the stunt double because the Chinese don't give AF". Truer words have never been spoken.

  • @nighttempest7163
    @nighttempest7163 Рік тому +17

    Yeah, I believe Seagal doesn't know that his character is gonna be beaten by Mike Tyson. He left the set and just having the stunt double take the sh*t lol. However, I genuinely believe Tyson can totally beat Seagal, with just one punch.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +11

      Tyson could be paralyzed and still kick his ass.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase Рік тому +1

      @@JasonBrant Bullshit, Seagal is a martial arts master and was "the man" in his prime. Tyson said that he has the utmost respect for Seagal.

    • @adamvialpando106
      @adamvialpando106 Рік тому +5

      @@Katzenhase Tyson is a former heavyweight champion boxer and Seagal is a movie martial actor. This is no contest. It's like saying Chuck Norris could beat Rocky Marciano.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase Рік тому +3

      @@adamvialpando106 Chuck Norris is a former karate worldchampion and a mutiple black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Every top martial arts fighter would have beaten a great boxer. If Jon Jones have fought Mike Tyson, I would have put my whole money on Jon Jones. The same with Conor McGregor vs Mayweather. Every boxer is helpless in a ground fight.

    • @adamvialpando106
      @adamvialpando106 Рік тому +1

      @@Katzenhase Are you really comparing Seagal and Norris to Jones and Mcgregor? Jon Jones and Conor Mcgregor are real experienced fighters.
      Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are to martial arts what Dwayne Johnson and John Cena are to wrestling. Talented but useless in an actual fight.

  • @robmcmahon6782
    @robmcmahon6782 Рік тому +1

    "Hey........Shut up" is the greatest line delivered on film

  • @davidkymdell452
    @davidkymdell452 Рік тому +1

    This comes out on Mondays in Australia, it's a great start to the worst day of the week! Thanks guys.

  • @zakfrisch2997
    @zakfrisch2997 Рік тому +7

    Just got back from camping without reception and within 10 minutes a new SBIG. Hell yeah, time to hang out with Jason and the gang!
    Edit: and you have a new Seagal opening? Let's gooooo 🤣

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +2

      How was the trip?

    • @zakfrisch2997
      @zakfrisch2997 Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant well. eating beer brats, burgers, and drinking beer on the beach was probably a better time than watching this dumpster fire 🤣 clearly you guys suffer for your art

  • @codexaeterna
    @codexaeterna Рік тому +4

    Those opening credits were ridiculous. Wtf does a "co-associate producer" do??

  • @chefpat5838
    @chefpat5838 Рік тому +1

    My favourite part about watching China Salesman reviews/reactions is it means I wasn't the only one to suffer through it.

  • @jasonadair9849
    @jasonadair9849 Рік тому +1

    I haven't even started this video yet and already glad I didn't have to set through this turd. You guys are saints for doing it for us.

  • @bal5884
    @bal5884 Рік тому +6

    What we learned from that, Tyson can't act and Seafood is still rubbing up chicks half his age.
    That looked painful, I would have needed a 100 beers to get though that one.
    You need to do more Seafood before the goatee, at least his in them.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +2

      We'll watch all the shitty Seagal movies. Unfortunately.

    • @bal5884
      @bal5884 Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant For our amusement 😀

  • @MrTerribleLie
    @MrTerribleLie Рік тому +4

    Watching you guys suffer through that movie felt like I was watching a snuff video.

  • @danieldennis-gloade4882
    @danieldennis-gloade4882 Рік тому

    The left dude's laugh is so frickin' contagious! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @mdd3hill821
    @mdd3hill821 Рік тому +1

    Neither Tyson nor Seagal were in the same room for their fight. It was ALL double work.

  • @carldzoga1348
    @carldzoga1348 Рік тому +4

    How dare you compare this to a Dumpster Fire! At least a Dumpster Fire can keep you warm! THIS 'movie' was belly button lint! 🙃🤣

  • @STONEDLIZARD68
    @STONEDLIZARD68 Рік тому +4

    Would it be rude to ask for every minute back enduring this movie. This brings cinema stupidity to a new level! Still had a few laughable moments. Keep putting this material out and you’ll be at a million subs in no time!! Every time he laughed the jiggle in his tummy made the Segal image on his shirt look like the mouth moving. His image had more lines! Love you guys!

  • @jasonmyersOU812
    @jasonmyersOU812 7 місяців тому +1

    Dave was so wrecked on this one it was glorious. You guys always seem to have so much fun even when The Sifu is involved. Great work as always guys.

  • @Chilled_Wombat
    @Chilled_Wombat Місяць тому

    30:39 - Dude, even Seagal on his shirt is laughing with them. 😂

  • @HarvestMoonHowl
    @HarvestMoonHowl Рік тому +5

    Okay, normally I don't comment twice on one video, but I had to this time (after I just watched about 37 minutes of misery).
    This film makes me proud to be a U.S. citizen. God bless America! And thank you very much for your willingness to share this. Please pick a movie that won't give anyone an aneurysm watching it, next time. 😂

  • @FuzzyPyrate
    @FuzzyPyrate Рік тому +1

    8:19 Freezeframe....Yeah....that's me rn. it's almost like that "Holy crap Santa IS real" moment 😅
    27:33 That was the worst Segal CGI ever 🤣
    30:24 - Best scene in this entire movie 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Beer-can_full_of_toes
    @Beer-can_full_of_toes Рік тому +1

    “I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for this moment.” We all do now.

  • @Blutteufel
    @Blutteufel Рік тому +4

    "Hey, the new review is up."
    "Cool. What's it called?"
    "Uh... 'Mike Tyson smashes Steven Seagal'-not _that_ way..."

  • @randomname9263
    @randomname9263 Рік тому +12

    Love your channel, you guys are awesome! We’ve bought Invasion USA, Death Wish 3, The Barbarians, and Class of 1999 based your reviews and we’ve had a great time watching them with friends!
    Really hope you’ll watch Ryan’s Babe because it is an absolute dumpster fire of a movie described as a “Comedy/Thriller” whose tagline is “The road movie that doesn’t know where it’s going” (which is accurate). I know your channel doesn’t do comedies, but the good news is, this movie definitely isn’t one.
    If you reply to this comment, I’ll buy it for you so you can see what the hell a “Comedy Thriller” is!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  Рік тому +3

      That sounds extraordinarily painful.

    • @seanpoulton2446
      @seanpoulton2446 Рік тому

      @@JasonBrant it’s actually one of those movies that’s such a clusterfuck, it ends up being hilarious

  • @randyhavard6084
    @randyhavard6084 Рік тому +1

    It looks like the Segal face on that tshirt is talking every time he laughs

  • @jreal54
    @jreal54 Рік тому +1

    From where ya'll started to how the reviews are going now....perfection my friends. I welcome any opportunity at the end of my day, to sit down, and not only watch you all suffer through, but throw up a toast in celebration and cheers to the agony and laughter we all succumb to, especially when Segal is involved...or not. I'm ready to have my plot of land with the Brant Fam so we can live in this misery forever!