Just as an FYI, the user “ardidsonriente” added a comment to this video that spoke about this, and really opened my eyes about this feeling. Check it out, see if it helps you as well. But it makes a lot of sense.
I studied personality psychology for years-in and out of college. Couple of things to point out. 1) introverts have a limited quantity of social energy to expend and when it's exhausted they experience anxiety/ depression. This means they can function normally in social situation up to a point and then they crash like a tweaker at the end of a two day bender. 2) statistically the population is 50% introverted. There are LOTS of introverts out there in general. However certain social groupings select for personality types. For example, managers are more likely to be extroverted and gamers are more likely to be introverted. In my experience, the type of gamers that show up to FGC meetups/tournaments are more extroverted than the gaming population in general, but there are still predominantly introverted compared to the general population. 3) mentally healthy introverts can withstand long periods of time in social situations. So much so that the average observer might mistake them for an extrovert. 4) introversion is not a neurotic disorder. Introversion and extroversion both have advantages and disadvantages. For example introverts are more comfortable being alone. Extroverts experience anxiety/ depression when alone. I know James mentioned he experiences anxiety while being alone after a tournament however this is atypical for an introvert.
Sounds like James’s experience in point #4 is actually just point #1. A major is basically a 2 day bender haha But yeah I’ve learned all these points thru experience as I’m sure many others have. In college I learned I just need an occasional 10 min break to myself or with 1 person I’m comfortable with (usu another introvert) during a social gathering then I can keep going rather than dipping after 2 hours. I also live alone and sometimes go for a couple weeks without face-to-face interaction and then I’ll go to a social gathering and appear to be an extrovert cuz my battery is overcharged, but they don’t see the solitude afterward. Didn’t think it was as high as 50% though! Thought it was more like 1/3 intro and 2/3 extro
@@Game3Free introverts typically aren't drained from having in depth, one on one, conversations. It's small talk that drains them. In fact introverts are better at in depth conversation than extroverts. The rules that govern social interactions flow from extroverts. At least in most of the environments me find ourselves in. Because of this many introverts learn to act like extroverts. This is true especially at work and can explain why you might have thought the population was predominately extroverted.
"I dont want to talk to anybody but I also feel alone" is not the best way to put it, IMO. It sounds contradictory when it is not. I've found it is much better to just say "I want a deeper connection with someone". This is why big groups don't satisfy us at all, why social gatherings leave us tired and sick, and why being alone later feels easier but not better. We WANT human connection, but we want a dedicated, high quality one. And we don't have practice creating this, and many people even frown whenever we try. According to the current social norm, being social is not being intimate, freeminded and openhearted. Powerful, dense conversation is not honest, but uncomfortable. Sharing a trusting silence is not calm, but weird. And that is what we crave: to be able to share a moment, FOR REAL, with someone who gets us. I know this way to see it does not makes things easier, but I think at least makes things more clear. As introverts, we still need to learn how to be alone, how to support and love ourselves, but we also need to practice how to cultivate better, deeper, more meaningful interactions with others. EWGFs are so much easier. But both can be done with enough patience, IMO. Don't give up.
This is really insightful. I like this a lot. Thanks for this response. You’ve actually really make that feeling make more sense, because honestly it didn’t make much sense to me either as you can kind of hear in my tone. This really reframes the way I look at how I feel in those moments. Very helpful! Thanks again!
I think this is good for people to hear. Its like theres a social battery in us. I love going to the gym but i try to go at odd hours 1am-2am because thats when its most empty
As a long-time depressed introvert, I want to let you know running out of social energy and feeling down is a shared experience. Happens regardless of how positive/negative the social activity was. Unfortunately we gotta roll with the punches. I'll be going to evo for the first time this year and I expect it to be rough after it's over. Still going though. Hope I see you there.
Its called a socisl battery. Sll of us hsve thrm just different ammounts. After work i dont talk to anyone i dont have to. Its just a socual battery. Being social actually takes energy
It's so relatable hearing you talk about that, James - thanks for being an ambassador for the introverted side of the spectrum. And also showing that introversion doesn't necessarily mean shy or being socially anxious. It can be a part of it, for some or in some situations, but mostly it's about which kind of interactions drain or recharge your social batteries. Last year I started a group called "slow friending for introverts" in my city, where introverted people could join via an app, we'd meet in a park and split up into smaller (introvert friendly) groups and just talk or simply sit and be there together. Never before have I seen so many people in one place, perfectly comfortable not talking for a couple of minutes straight. In a lot of group settings you have people who either enjoy talking non-stop or who are so uncomfortable with silence that they have to speak eventually to deal with their awkwardness. Having those group meetings was a true blessing, and they didn't feel draining at all, because the conversations we did have were so inspiring and deep.
That’s actually really cool! Honestly, sounds like a great place to meet partners as well because actual dating is terrifying for introverts. Hahaha. Someone else commented that introverts crave *meaningful* interactions, thus the ability to want to get the hell away from social interaction and yet still feeling lonely. After he said that, it made so much more sense for me personally. I finally understood that contradiction. But I digress. I think it’s super cool what you’re doing for your city. And now I feel like I need to do something similar for the FGC, although being a gaming hobby, that might encompass like 80% of the entire scene. Hahaha.
All true. I have to be “ON” at work all day so when i get home theres nothing left. Problem is, is that my wife is an extrovert. Back in high school i earned the nickname ghost because we were at a hotel party and someone was talking to me and suddenly i wasnt there. They looked for about 30 minutes and then called my house and i was home. They were more impressed by the fact the hotel was 4 miles away and the fact i walked home. Its definitely like a light switch. Once its off its OFF. And why would i want to go through the stress of socializing when i had shelves full of games, fantasy novels, anime, manga, and comics at home ;)
I'm introverted but I do have extroverted tendencies that I've picked up, especially when I'm around my friends. I bowl in a league and I'm usually going and watching and talking to other people when it's not my turn(I'm a substitute and my league lets subs bowl on whatever team needs a spot that week so I'm not always attached to my team or I just have people I also wanna hang out with). I'll also occasionally make comments with other people in public and stuff and my Daddy was the same way. But I absolutely *WILL NOT* text or call anyone first or rarely order food over the phone. When my job had me working 5 days in a row for like a month straight and my 2 days off were my Yugioh locals and my bowling league I had to just not go to locals some weeks because I was so socially drained. It also didn't help that I was already depressed from a breakup at that point so my mental health was pretty bottomed out. Sorry for the ramble James but just know that I get you. That introvert girlfriend example sounds awesome. And you're awesome too.
You just put into words how I felt about my best friends in college lmao We would just hang out for hours, and the longest word exchange would be "yo, wanna go get some food?" lol
I thought being an introvert has giving 0 shyts about being alone. Like who cares I’m not there to socialize I can but I don’t feel drained or whatever depression ppl get, or hate anything. It doesn’t bother me cuz I don’t care to entertain it. I think anti social ppl are confusing themselves as introverted tbh. Like I go to the movies alone and my friends ask how I do that or if it’s weird. Nah bro who cares about what others think lmao just go enjoy yourself
It’s crazy because someone actually explained it, why people tend to feel that way. Opened my eyes a lot. But I was surprised at how many people told me they knew exactly what I feel because they feel it too!
Will always love talks about mental health. Especially directly related to your own experiences/examples of when you’ve noticed a struggle of yours. I definitely think James hit it on the head when he said it’s like you pull all your reserves for the event until you’re so depleted by the time it’s over, that you feel like you have a big crash. The kicker is the adhd making you feel like you have no idea where it came from or why it’s happening
Simple, you love what you do and as an introvert you need that recharging time to recover. As a oldhead from the arcade era that's not into the FGC/eSports scene, thank you for all you do for the community man. Hopefully during these down moments know that all you do is appreciated man.
Off topic but I wanted to leave a comment on the latest SNRronize show that yes it is sad that people from South America have trouble travelling to North America because of fears that they won't return. I guess you weren't uploading those shows anymore? I am watching it on twitch though tbh lol. Maybe the SNKronize numbers aren't as good? Big fan 👍
I typically have Olaf do the time stamping for me. He’s been SUPER busy of late so he hasn’t had time. I’ll see maybe I’ll upload them with no timestamps.
This video made me feel good. I feel a lot better about those days when I'm just like, I just wanna be in my bedroom. I feel like the stigma of not going out much really needs to change. It's okay to not be out and about in crowds.
I’m glad. It’s why I am actually willing to discuss these things openly. It’s surprising how many people feel the same way but feel like they are the only ones. We should all be more open about our vulnerabilities and be more receptive to understanding other people as opposed to acting like they’re “weird” for the way they feel. EVERYONE is weird. No two people act the same, so it’s crazy to think there should be a standard that everyone should adhere to.
Is it an existential problem of contemplating why you exist and why you have to go through these things everyone else goes through but deals with differently?
Not really. I rarely fall into the “why is this happening to me?” mindset. While I do suffer from depression, I live with it very clearly and honestly. I very much take responsibility for much of where I’m at these days. Which is why I can be so direct and open discussing it with others.
"I don't want to talk to anybody but also I feel alone" is literally one of the most relatable things ive ever heard
Just as an FYI, the user “ardidsonriente” added a comment to this video that spoke about this, and really opened my eyes about this feeling. Check it out, see if it helps you as well. But it makes a lot of sense.
I studied personality psychology for years-in and out of college. Couple of things to point out.
1) introverts have a limited quantity of social energy to expend and when it's exhausted they experience anxiety/ depression. This means they can function normally in social situation up to a point and then they crash like a tweaker at the end of a two day bender.
2) statistically the population is 50% introverted. There are LOTS of introverts out there in general. However certain social groupings select for personality types. For example, managers are more likely to be extroverted and gamers are more likely to be introverted. In my experience, the type of gamers that show up to FGC meetups/tournaments are more extroverted than the gaming population in general, but there are still predominantly introverted compared to the general population.
3) mentally healthy introverts can withstand long periods of time in social situations. So much so that the average observer might mistake them for an extrovert.
4) introversion is not a neurotic disorder. Introversion and extroversion both have advantages and disadvantages. For example introverts are more comfortable being alone. Extroverts experience anxiety/ depression when alone. I know James mentioned he experiences anxiety while being alone after a tournament however this is atypical for an introvert.
Sounds like James’s experience in point #4 is actually just point #1. A major is basically a 2 day bender haha
But yeah I’ve learned all these points thru experience as I’m sure many others have. In college I learned I just need an occasional 10 min break to myself or with 1 person I’m comfortable with (usu another introvert) during a social gathering then I can keep going rather than dipping after 2 hours. I also live alone and sometimes go for a couple weeks without face-to-face interaction and then I’ll go to a social gathering and appear to be an extrovert cuz my battery is overcharged, but they don’t see the solitude afterward. Didn’t think it was as high as 50% though! Thought it was more like 1/3 intro and 2/3 extro
Did you just compare introverts to drug addicts? Yikes.
@@Game3Free introverts typically aren't drained from having in depth, one on one, conversations. It's small talk that drains them. In fact introverts are better at in depth conversation than extroverts.
The rules that govern social interactions flow from extroverts. At least in most of the environments me find ourselves in. Because of this many introverts learn to act like extroverts. This is true especially at work and can explain why you might have thought the population was predominately extroverted.
"I dont want to talk to anybody but I also feel alone" is not the best way to put it, IMO. It sounds contradictory when it is not.
I've found it is much better to just say "I want a deeper connection with someone". This is why big groups don't satisfy us at all, why social gatherings leave us tired and sick, and why being alone later feels easier but not better. We WANT human connection, but we want a dedicated, high quality one. And we don't have practice creating this, and many people even frown whenever we try. According to the current social norm, being social is not being intimate, freeminded and openhearted. Powerful, dense conversation is not honest, but uncomfortable. Sharing a trusting silence is not calm, but weird. And that is what we crave: to be able to share a moment, FOR REAL, with someone who gets us.
I know this way to see it does not makes things easier, but I think at least makes things more clear.
As introverts, we still need to learn how to be alone, how to support and love ourselves, but we also need to practice how to cultivate better, deeper, more meaningful interactions with others.
EWGFs are so much easier. But both can be done with enough patience, IMO. Don't give up.
This is really insightful. I like this a lot. Thanks for this response. You’ve actually really make that feeling make more sense, because honestly it didn’t make much sense to me either as you can kind of hear in my tone. This really reframes the way I look at how I feel in those moments. Very helpful! Thanks again!
Introvert overcompensate when in public and might talk more than non introverts but are always happy when they're back in their SafeZone (home).
I think this is good for people to hear.
Its like theres a social battery in us. I love going to the gym but i try to go at odd hours 1am-2am because thats when its most empty
me too lmao
As a long-time depressed introvert, I want to let you know running out of social energy and feeling down is a shared experience. Happens regardless of how positive/negative the social activity was. Unfortunately we gotta roll with the punches. I'll be going to evo for the first time this year and I expect it to be rough after it's over. Still going though. Hope I see you there.
extroverts get their energy from others... sometimes after talking to well meaning- but clueless- people i often feel drained... yep...
Its called a socisl battery. Sll of us hsve thrm just different ammounts. After work i dont talk to anyone i dont have to.
Its just a socual battery. Being social actually takes energy
It's so relatable hearing you talk about that, James - thanks for being an ambassador for the introverted side of the spectrum. And also showing that introversion doesn't necessarily mean shy or being socially anxious. It can be a part of it, for some or in some situations, but mostly it's about which kind of interactions drain or recharge your social batteries.
Last year I started a group called "slow friending for introverts" in my city, where introverted people could join via an app, we'd meet in a park and split up into smaller (introvert friendly) groups and just talk or simply sit and be there together. Never before have I seen so many people in one place, perfectly comfortable not talking for a couple of minutes straight. In a lot of group settings you have people who either enjoy talking non-stop or who are so uncomfortable with silence that they have to speak eventually to deal with their awkwardness. Having those group meetings was a true blessing, and they didn't feel draining at all, because the conversations we did have were so inspiring and deep.
That’s actually really cool! Honestly, sounds like a great place to meet partners as well because actual dating is terrifying for introverts. Hahaha. Someone else commented that introverts crave *meaningful* interactions, thus the ability to want to get the hell away from social interaction and yet still feeling lonely. After he said that, it made so much more sense for me personally. I finally understood that contradiction. But I digress. I think it’s super cool what you’re doing for your city. And now I feel like I need to do something similar for the FGC, although being a gaming hobby, that might encompass like 80% of the entire scene. Hahaha.
Is Jebailey an extrovert? I mean he’s literally Mr. CEO after all
All true. I have to be “ON” at work all day so when i get home theres nothing left. Problem is, is that my wife is an extrovert. Back in high school i earned the nickname ghost because we were at a hotel party and someone was talking to me and suddenly i wasnt there. They looked for about 30 minutes and then called my house and i was home. They were more impressed by the fact the hotel was 4 miles away and the fact i walked home.
Its definitely like a light switch. Once its off its OFF. And why would i want to go through the stress of socializing when i had shelves full of games, fantasy novels, anime, manga, and comics at home ;)
I'm introverted but I do have extroverted tendencies that I've picked up, especially when I'm around my friends.
I bowl in a league and I'm usually going and watching and talking to other people when it's not my turn(I'm a substitute and my league lets subs bowl on whatever team needs a spot that week so I'm not always attached to my team or I just have people I also wanna hang out with). I'll also occasionally make comments with other people in public and stuff and my Daddy was the same way.
But I absolutely *WILL NOT* text or call anyone first or rarely order food over the phone.
When my job had me working 5 days in a row for like a month straight and my 2 days off were my Yugioh locals and my bowling league I had to just not go to locals some weeks because I was so socially drained. It also didn't help that I was already depressed from a breakup at that point so my mental health was pretty bottomed out.
Sorry for the ramble James but just know that I get you. That introvert girlfriend example sounds awesome. And you're awesome too.
You just put into words how I felt about my best friends in college lmao
We would just hang out for hours, and the longest word exchange would be "yo, wanna go get some food?" lol
I thought being an introvert has giving 0 shyts about being alone. Like who cares I’m not there to socialize I can but I don’t feel drained or whatever depression ppl get, or hate anything. It doesn’t bother me cuz I don’t care to entertain it. I think anti social ppl are confusing themselves as introverted tbh. Like I go to the movies alone and my friends ask how I do that or if it’s weird. Nah bro who cares about what others think lmao just go enjoy yourself
Damn, the same exact thing happened to me after SFV Crash ended. I thought it was just me.
lol I hate being alone but I don't want to talk to anybody ....chen is hilarious
It’s crazy because someone actually explained it, why people tend to feel that way. Opened my eyes a lot. But I was surprised at how many people told me they knew exactly what I feel because they feel it too!
Will always love talks about mental health. Especially directly related to your own experiences/examples of when you’ve noticed a struggle of yours.
I definitely think James hit it on the head when he said it’s like you pull all your reserves for the event until you’re so depleted by the time it’s over, that you feel like you have a big crash. The kicker is the adhd making you feel like you have no idea where it came from or why it’s happening
Simple, you love what you do and as an introvert you need that recharging time to recover. As a oldhead from the arcade era that's not into the FGC/eSports scene, thank you for all you do for the community man. Hopefully during these down moments know that all you do is appreciated man.
I feel the same way. I wonder if aging is a big part of it
Off topic but I wanted to leave a comment on the latest SNRronize show that yes it is sad that people from South America have trouble travelling to North America because of fears that they won't return. I guess you weren't uploading those shows anymore? I am watching it on twitch though tbh lol. Maybe the SNKronize numbers aren't as good? Big fan 👍
I typically have Olaf do the time stamping for me. He’s been SUPER busy of late so he hasn’t had time. I’ll see maybe I’ll upload them with no timestamps.
@@UltraChenTV ah cool
Thank you for wearing your heart on your sleeves. It’s helpful seeing that I’m not alone in my own struggles. Wishing you the best .
This video made me feel good. I feel a lot better about those days when I'm just like, I just wanna be in my bedroom. I feel like the stigma of not going out much really needs to change. It's okay to not be out and about in crowds.
I’m glad. It’s why I am actually willing to discuss these things openly. It’s surprising how many people feel the same way but feel like they are the only ones. We should all be more open about our vulnerabilities and be more receptive to understanding other people as opposed to acting like they’re “weird” for the way they feel. EVERYONE is weird. No two people act the same, so it’s crazy to think there should be a standard that everyone should adhere to.
Is it an existential problem of contemplating why you exist and why you have to go through these things everyone else goes through but deals with differently?
Not really. I rarely fall into the “why is this happening to me?” mindset. While I do suffer from depression, I live with it very clearly and honestly. I very much take responsibility for much of where I’m at these days. Which is why I can be so direct and open discussing it with others.
nailed it
Damn bro, maybe go visit a doctor