How To Seduce Someone With Confidence
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- The secret of good seduction is not to idealise the person we are trying to get together with. They are - ultimately - still just another human being, whom we would in time get very irritated with if the seduction worked as well as we want. That is a thought to lend us confidence.
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FURTHER READING
“We are never as shy and gauche as we are when attempting to seduce someone we deeply like. The thought of someone this perfect coming to take an interest in us seems at once tantalizing and entirely implausible. We develop vertigo and, too often, fall. Behind our insecurity lie two conjoined fears: that we are exceptionally awful. And that the beloved is exceptionally perfect. Both ideas are hugely destructive - and false…”
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"We are idiots now, we have been idiots in the past, and we will be idiots again in the future... There aren't any other available options for human being" The School of Life 2017
Razvan Pavel well it is true haha. The smartest man in the world is an idiot about something. We will never be able to attain every bit of knowledge.
gainpro if you think they are a bitch with a nasty ass than what are you bothering with them for? It's fairly likely that they detect your attitude even if you don't think anyone possibly could or even if you think you aren't the one with the attitude but rather everyone else is. We women have a great 6th sense about these things and life is hard enough without getting with someone who secretly denegrates us because they are jealous of our perceived physical perfection and erroneously perceived attitude.
I'd rather cut off some of my digits than get with someone who will inadvertently degrade my self esteem because they don't realize how fragile it is up against false preconceived notions about me. Not saying I'm one of those perfect women because I'm not, I'm just saying how I feel as a woman.
At the same time I'd give those digits to find someone who just legitimately thinks I'm worthy and rather than tear me down a little bit accidentally each day could build me up a little bit accidentally each day. I wouldn't care about incidentals such as income or looks or really much of anything else shallow if we had that most precious gift humanity can acquire or give to one another which is genuine trust and friendship, love and cameradery (sp?).
Basically, personality
nothing could be closer to the truth
Fuck Allen the bald
So in other words... Everyone's an idiot and if you embarrass yourself trying, at least you're trying.. Therefore standing out to everyone else pretty much coming across as confident. I love it.
Broly nice way of looking at it :)
Broly good comment C:
Well, if you're not afraid of embarrassing yourself, that is a kind of confidence.
Broly it's just accepting yourself flaws and all and accepting others and seeing them as also magnificent but flawed like yourself. Easy concept but deceptively hard to make work if you think you are not so great. I love it and it is the answer, but it's just not always easy to change an ingrained hard wired response about yourself.
Don't you have Kakarots to be smashing?
Do your artists ever get tired of taking acid?
No.
Source: went to art school, have degree in art
looking for some freebies?
Hahahah. This made me laugh
This was great, been searching for "ways to seduce a girl" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Maemerly Lusty Principle - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some great things about it and my co-worker got amazing success with it.
Bruhhhf😂
"Someone who will, if everything goes really well, in substantial ways eventually ruin our lives"
I wasn't expecting that 😂😂
Hadil Zawahreh I had to replay that a few times rofl
Hadil Zawahreh
He is a secret MGTOW.
Like Epicurus.
That's not necessarily true, it's more about balancing two ideals in your head. To think that someone is perfect, is just as laughable. If anything, the idea that a person will be wrong for us, is a much more realistic outcome to keep in mind. After all, falling in love is a common occurrence in our lives, while staying in love for years is a rarity, only associated with one or two people.
+Nanadaime Hokage that would be the most exceptionally true proposal 😂😂😂
Ahahaha. XD That was hilarious!
Honestly, I get that we're all enjoying how cynical a lot of this video is but this really gave me a lot of confidence in myself. I'm dealing with an intense crush on a girl right now, and this video helped me by making me see her as not some divine goddess of beauty so far above me she could destroy me with a sentence but just as a normal human being who has her own flaws and insecurities, just like me- and in doing so made me a lot more confident about talking to her and potentially dating her. Thanks a lot, School of Life!
When I have this problem, and I am serious, it helps to remember that no matter how beautiful and smart and incredible she might seem, that girl also...poops. Just like me, and every other human that lived. Its something so basic and primordial and true, and is this basic human fact that reminds me to extrapolate that to the rest of her humanity. A bit scatological but effective, lol.
César Andrade pretty girls dont poop
TheBritAvenger good for you
Any update on that girl?
Just gotta know she’s human too. She poops and probably eats messy. Only thing that she has that makes you feel uneasy is her LOOKs. If you accept that, everything will be fine. I learned that “Man can’t talk to a goddess, only Man to Women”
Long story short--Don't take everything so seriously.
TLDW (too long didn't watch) haha
Sometimes School of Life can be awfully verbose. I keep thinking ‘so what’s your point? Can you get to it?’ It’s like waiting for Honey to finish pouring out of a jar.
Lucius Dragonwolf lol? If you think the purpose of sex is to have fun then you’re either stupid or troll
Im like 999… dont know y bt doing this made me happy
@@DancingDeity 4 1/2 minutes too long? Seriously? It’s a pretty good life lesson for the investment in time…..but you go fly away at your own speed.
"Dating is just two miserable people reaching out to each other."
Andrew Altamirano Its more like people reaching out to each for comfort and connection when life gets rough. I think its beautiful myself.
@@etinarcadiaego7424 Yeah but then it ends and you return to face it yourself or worse it slowly corrodes and maddens you
Thanks, now nightmares will come easier with the help of the animation.
same
School of life's nightmarish animations are one of the chanel's main themes
And it wouldn't surprise me if they have some Philosophical argument to back that
LOL!!!!!! Best comment ever ^_^
Super cringy 💀😂
Lmao. That's what makes it unique I guess. The way it is absurdly made is so fascinating that it's easier to understand the message but meaningful at the same time.
Here are tips from a therapist:
1. Build your sense of Self.
2. Map what you do well and what you could do better.
3. Remember that we tend to be our own worst enemies.
4. Compare yourself to others fairly, both in good and bad. Or then don't do it at all.
5. Recognize your Self worth and value, learn to forgive yourself and love yourself.
6. No person is perfect. Making mistakes is okay and you can grow from them.
7. Accept and understand that not everyone will appreciate you, and that is okay.
8. Be comfortable in your own skin, don't act a play, be authentic and trust yourself.
9. Teach yourself how to initiate, have and hold conversations in front of mirror etc.
10. Effort always wins. You can read who is genuinely interested and who is not.
Ugh
well I got a 50 50 shot of being myself or maybe like 45 45 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
@@Azlare9_9good math
Women care far less about what you look like and far more about who you are. If you are empathetic, even tempered, confident, and kind, you will have women going after you. A woman feels most secure around a person who has self control.
John Williams also reliable
Real women
Semper Reformanda thats like saying men love massive tits/asses. True but its just a bonus on top of the other really important stuff like sensuality, fitting your particular tastes etc.
Really? Most Ik these days claim all men are sexist, white especially privileged, and that men are biologically unneeded now.
Empathy? Even temper? Kindness? Bollocks! Women aren't interested in that. They want someone who is fun, exciting, and can make them feel desirable. It helps to have some ambition too.
Who else here puts every person they like on a pedestal? Lol
Me
Me (2)
Me. And trynna change it
I am a recovering codependent who has love addiction (limerence). I am therefore single until I heal it!!
This was about approaching people with confidence, but it wasn't about seducing someone with confidence. Confident people fail to seduce others and get shot down all of the time. Seduction is a much, MUCH more complicated mating dance than simply being confident.
if you want details, read the Art of Seduction! Its amazing
Really?.....ok
That explains why „tell me about your inner idiot“ never seems to work as a pickup line, dangit, stop taking dating cues from the school of life 😂😂😂
@@mujdahakime2345 Hate that book
@@zain5496 why do you hate it? I just heard about it recently
This man is so unpretentious and down to earth you can't help by liking his videos. I love the way he doesn't try to make things look better than they really are.
What makes this channel different is the vocabulary of words used and the narration style being reinforced with an interesting accent.
I'm 43, it took about 20 years from young adulthood to learn this very valuable and comforting lesson. I'm so glad that SOL is here to help people learn sooner than I did 🦉
That is quite amazing, I’m 23 suffering from crippling anxiety but I’m grateful for the tools I am blessed with thanks to this comment
"Hey girl, do you play minecraft?"
Don't beat around the bush gentleman.
Minecraft itself is a cool game - only the community around it destroys the image...like any community of any game.
PowahSlap Entertainmint I was playing csgo yesterday and a guy asked me... Are u a female Or are you a minecraft player? Not sure what that meant... Lol
Hahah Minecraft players are little girls or annoying kids
hell yeah I do baby
How do you guys always know what i need right now 😂
Because what they show is what we need all the time ;))
ImNightz holy shit, me too.
Your life must be a rollercoaster if every video comes at a time that you need it.
5 keys to be more confident - Write out your achievement, Be prepared, Be positive, Don't accept failure & Change your body language.
Cuz they know what they need right now..
Sounds more like "understanding that no one is perfect and they can do weird things just like you"
Janelle Gardner They also do the same gross things you do. We all fart, piss, belch, shit, bleed, smell awful sometimes, leave pubes in the shower drain etc. I think that part of the reason the US has such a high divorce rate is because people are sold on the idea of the perfect partner who exists to fulfill all of one's wants and desires. The truth is ugly and complex, but at least it is reality. Embrace the idea that no one can complete you. You will never be complete because your identity is always changing and evolving.
I try thinking all that, but for some reason it does not lessen my infatuation one bit.
i came here to suduce my crush...
now i kniw the meaning of life and relationships
😂😂😂😂
i like watching these on LSD
Sweet old meme i don't need sld.
I'm a glass if orange juice.
Sweet old meme got some?
How to waste tabs. Get off your computer and go in nature, explore! 😂
Sweet old meme I find myself not being able to click off youtube once I open it while tweaking
I gain more confidence every time I watch one of the videos on this channel
Good point. We're all humans, with flaws and strengths of our own. What's more important is being able to make peace with ourselves and do our best; and then, eventually, with others.
I appreciate this approach that instead of seeing eachother as divine perfection, we should accept our shittyness and move on. One act of embarrassment is not going to change our thoughts anyways. It reminds me very much of my boyfriend, who sees me as a goddess and I wasn't able to comprehend what's so special about me since I suffer from depression, anxiety and many more flaws. And yet, he sticks around with me and sometimes calls himself a nut job. We both have our insecurities but they don't define us in the end. The times we laugh at our foolishness or clumsiness brings us closer together.
This gives me hope for myself, Kathy-Lee, because I too have experienced depression and anxiety that seems to take away my personality and ability to be functional. Hopefully, that will shift and I'll be able to be in a healthy romantic relationship ☺️
"Conclude that we are no more awful than the next soul". Made me laugh! But interesting video, as always :)
I feel more relaxed and less anxiety after watch this. I usually put women on a pedestal but this was really deep and helpful.
I love the underlining messages about being a human being in these videos, the title is a mere pretext for the large message, and the larger message is so beautiful
Damn, this video really speaks a lot of truths I recently this past year realized about myself and my relation to those I find to be almost too perfect for this world compared to my own. Watching this made me feel extremely proud I was able to get past this facade and treat them with the same level of integrity as anyone one else is deserving of receiving.
I love the art in this video! Kudos to the artist or artists who worked on it. Great advice too.
I love how the animation in this video tell so much more than the texts. Despite looking somewhat eerie at first, it turns out to be fabulously meaningful! :')
This animation is exceptionally original and pleasing. Hoping for more like this.
Brilliant animation, so symbolic of what is being said
Video says we're all idiots. That makes me happy
Besides the amazing content, the animation of this video is fascinating and deserves an award ❤❤
these videos are more education than 30 years of life, delivered in wonderful 5 minute doses. incredible.
Hahaha...I absolutely love this! I'm an idiot and I LOVE it....
Perfection is a lie. I don't want perfection! If something or someone is perfect then there's nothing left. Not a single thing! Perfection only brings despair
Your new books is a huge success in Sweden! I just feel kinda proud you do UA-cam-videos. Few know this here.
Wow! The animation in this was exceptionally beautiful for some reason :)
love this channel and the genius that's Alain de Botton!!
i love this one. philosophical, humorous, realistic... and the animation was awesome as well. nice work.
If this isnt my favorite video by you guys i dont know what is. So beautifully witty and so terribly relevant, while being amazingly captivating at the same time. I dont know what im blabbing on about, but that touched a string.... thank you
The cloud person is my spirit animal
lol I can't decide how to take the title. Is the video about seducing someone while having confidence...or seducing someone with confidence itself! lol so many questions
Jackal Unleashed it's about having confidence in yourself and not being nervous
Jackal Unleashed Perhaps it's both, but I feel like it's more the latter in this case
In the title it also doesn't specify if you have the confidence or you are trying to seduce a confident person. :D
ImmaterialDigression that's pretty cool too! :)
Don't take anything at all, except maybe the D
lel
Oh my god. "Don't try too hard, because you are a pathetic cretin, and you will one day realise that they are too. And even if you do successfully overcome this embarrassing date and have the partner of your choosing, you will both one day end up miserable and regretting ever forming such a relationship to begin with." That is the summary of this lesson. I can't breathe.
Zozo G. Nix You are missing the point. You should always try your best but you will never reach perfection. It doesn't exist. You will never overcome all pain, you will never live forever. You will truly escape the human condition. If people would stop wasting energy on hiding all flaws and imperfections from others, they could use it to simply enjoy life while they can.
What a weird and beautiful animation.
This is the first of your videos that I watched only once and completely understood
Can I seduce someone with my crippling insecurities instead?
--Asking for a friend.
MrImalandshark You don't ignore or deny insecurities, you just work to better cope with them. No one is utterly free of insecurity. What matters is how you choose to deal with them.
vulnerability is said to be a hugely attractive trait. insecurities are the wellspring of vulnerability.
This animation and storytelling is sooo well done
Just dont give a thought what they think...thats their problem...if someone dont love you for whoever you are then they are not right for YOU. Dont change for anyone..it never gos to plan and keeping it up is hard work. You will find that special person when you least expect it...like when your out in a rush with no make up on and jeans that make you look huge!!
Oh my this is pretty terrible advice. You should be improving yourself all the time instead of expecting a miracle person to come along.
Oml I just have to say I love School of Life videos and their exceptional story telling devices. Genius has never found a means of expression like this. Golden 💎❤️
Am I the only one who thinks this guy beats around the topic a bit too much?
He tends to have about 2 points in each video and then says them over and over in different phrasing.
We are emotional and complex creatures so just saying 'stop taking things seriously' doesn't address the nuances of fear that people deal with. He guides you into seeing the other point of view and why perhaps it makes more sense
I think it's a sort of 'un-brainwashing' strategy.
I think it's more helpful for confidence to acknowledge that most people are pretty normal, but not that normality is inherently foolish or inept or that you should expect unhappiness for most the time in relationships. You are on equal ground with most people you interact with, not that we're all on the equal ground of being basically despicable.
So basically what Rick has been serving. No one special and we're all just particles floating. So make the best of it I guess.
Some Guy Yep, life is suffering and we are all going to die. Existence is absurd and pointless and we all take shits lol it sounds mean, but ALWAYS look for flaws and things you dislike in your date to avoid putting them on a pedestal. They, like us, are profoundly broken people living in a fallen world. "We are made from broken parts."
This is encouraging and at the same time makes me not want to date anyone ever again.
"We should (...) tell oneself that one is, of course, something of a cretin and an imbecile, but then so are they and anyone else we could meet". I love you, Alain De Botton!!
Amazing, thank you. So summing up the video, it would be " Accept your flaws and reality and accept that they are flawed as well".
The animation is awesome, very funny :')
This video was so on time for me, I was actually thinking about that recently, thanks for the vid
*This topic* was covered in different videos from this channel.. *so tell me if I get the whole idea right or not* :
In order to be able to have a non-destructive relationship we need to understand that our beloved is similar to every other person we meet. Everyone got a certain type of behavior with a whole package of flaws that we need to accept and point them out in a gentle manner. We have to avoid the toxic idea of someone being perfect and put them on some sort of
pedestal. By coping with our own flaws and accepting them as being a part of who we are , we eventually will become more likely to show that we are able to see someone imperfect as they are and still accept and communicate with love and tenderness thing that is highly attractive also for the partner because it shows our capacity for long term relationship.
you got it bro!
Being yourself does give you natural confidence and it’s hard to fake, you can easily see it.
Damn you. Where was this knowledge that rings so true? where was it when I used to stumble and fall on my nose, when I needed this advice? I guess I should have seen it by myself then and now, so damn me, and thank you for sharing this with people that might not have found it yet.
the middle of this is taken directly out of one of your old videos
Those visuals are maybe the best of all
So true! Thank you so much for creating such wonderful and helpful content!
Girl: *butt crack shows*
Boy: *butt crack also shows*
And that kids are how healthy relationships are formed. From mutual lack of properly fitted clothing. 1:29
YES😄😄😄
Going on my first date in 3 years. Needed to hear this. Thank you SOL.
God damm they're both terrible at drinking...
I knew a very wise man once, an older African American gentleman who worked where I did. Every morning we all gathered in the break room to drink a cup or two of bad coffee and see who would amuse us the most before the day got started.
This guy used to sit at the same spot slowly sipping from that tiny little vending machine cup in his huge hands. Most of the time he sat quietly until a momentary inspiration hit him. I remember once when his big head just rose up, eyes still glued to the little cup.
In his highly accented southern voice - this was in South Carolina - he deeply intoned, "The first thing you gotta do if you wants something," he said, "is axe for it." What a perfect observation for people like me who delay and plan and worry and wait until the time is juuuust riiight... and then it's: "O, Hell... I missed it." He was brilliant.
Reminds me of the guy digging a long ditch, shovelful after shovelful, while some other little guy kept running around scowling and taking measurements and making notes. Finally, the little guy spoke up, "Hey, you're doing it all wrong, I've got an easier way figured out." "Well," the first guy says looking back at the 20 or thirty yards he'd dug up that morning. "All I know is I got all this dug up so far... how well's that plan you been figurin' out working for you?
Enough said.
I'll leave you with a bit Mark Twain said: if you gotta eat a frog, do it first thing in the morning. If you got two, eat the big one first.
....Brought to you by the Narrator of Little Big Planet.
not quite but i know what you mean :D
i love the little big planet narrator.
I think he sounds more like David Attenborough.
#1) destroy their confidence #2) pick them up and brush them off #3) rebuild their confidence #4) take credit for said confidence #5) never let them forget it
Remember when this channel used to be about philosophers and writers?
I agree with the message of humility, but we're being sold a perspective on relationships that's reductive. It ignores the other dimensions of human life and interaction.
Anton Slavik well, to answer your question , we better approach every human connection with a mindset of how very similar we are each other so we treat others the way we wish to be treated, that will create a feeling of ease when dealing with all types social interactions.
Love the video, animation, art style. Well done to all involved in this !
Only watch this becuase i want to know if Its a guide for you (me) to seduce a person that is confident or if you (I) seduce confidently
Excellent as always, TSoL. Keep up the good work and best regards from Colombia
Why would you want to seduce someone if they didn't like you for who you really are then fuck it
i usually watched your video twice..first to appreciate the art you put into it, second to get the point your trying to convey.
"disregard females, acquire currency"
sarikatimmi hah!!! This should be on a t-shirt...
No... aquire money. Currency depreciates.
This is one the most truthful and creative videos i have ever watched!
One of the best lines I've ever said to my crush;
Crush: What grade did you get on the maths exam?
Me: *proud and bold tone* Three Quarters! Beat that!
Crush: *giggels*
(Joke being that I had between 3 and 4, being written as 3/4)
I always feel happier by making my crush laugh/smile.
Personally, I struggle most with showing I care. I have little trouble approaching, talking, joking, or anything similar- it’s the being able to openly appreciate them the way I do inside.
Woa... This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. Personally I wouldn't persue someone else if I didn't felt awesome myself. Nobody ruins your life. You live your life and share it with your significant other. If you're miserable, your relationships will be shit. If your happy, your relationships will be awesome.
hablar porhablar Its not really about being miserable though. Its just about not taking yourself to seriously and embracing the inherent absurdity of the human condition. Accepting reality as it is is a healthy attitude. I think its beautiful that we can find relief, however brief, from our existential angst by connecting with another human being.
Love your videos! Always cheer me up, the animation are also always so good!
Thank’s a lot
In short
NOBODY IS SPECIAL
A better way is to realize the self is something "we" created, in other words an illusion. realizing that should solve most of these self image problems.
Desire is an illusion.
Arvie Reyes How so? Desire is an inherent instinct.
I have to say this is one of your best videos imop the message, artistry and narration is A1 man great job.
What to do when you love someone who doesn't love you because of annoyance of your flaws.. but doesn't seem to express knowledge of their own flaws that are comparable to yours..??? Please help me
Leave this person and look for another
Move to the next
Yes, it is best to avoid those that lack self-awareness. They have a very immature attitude if they believe they lack flaws.
Even in some urgent situation, I could definitely carve out some time to watch the newest work by you guys.
Comment readers, have you learned much?
The Erotic Movie Review not much yet xD
I love the way people were depicted in this episode. It’s almost the same as I see everyone when I’m high
*Wow… now that's how you quickly hate the person you are trying to pursue and reach an existential crisis in the process!*
Chris Lasekan Only if you choose to hate them. You could accept that they are not perfect and love them anyway. Admitting that your partner will not always make you happy is not the same as hatred. But everyone has been sold the false dream of "happily ever after."
The art works really well with the context of the voiceover! :)
"Hey how you doing lil mama lemme whisper in your ear" and boom you got her on a leash
I ordered something form your. Can't wait for it to arrive 😋❤️
Thank for your content 💓💓💓
Love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed
OneToughCookie I really, really, really like this image!
OneToughCookie Hunter is just a chemical reaction caused in your brain to kill billions of cells with your own cells which have the only goal of creating more of themselves by eating cells that aren't them 🤔
You are wrong. It's also about successfully protecting and raising children.
I swear I have that somewhere before.
That's a quote from Rick and Morty 😂
Love this visuals man.... Y'all do a great job on visuals too📣📣
The moral? Never take relationship advice from a Brit.
XD
The advice will probably end up on how everyone is a 'twat' and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
RenegadeShepard69 but isn't that the truth tho?
EyeLean5280 What are u talking about
it was an attempt to be edgy nothing more :)
btw everyone is a 'twat' :D
just what I need to hear right now. Thanks!
"hi girls, i am rich"
I don't care
you clearly doesn't the the power behind those words. (only work for low and middle income girl)
money gets the women dont lie bitches
hellatze I'm middle class... it's not a matter of not having money, but a matter of how shallow a woman is. I'd rather have my own money than go after yours
money is power. you cant rest easy when you think of old age.
I came here cause I have a crush. Now I have depression but also a slightly more humane view of that crush
This video is way too complicated then it has to be
Morris Tom ...then it has to be what?
Shelby F Well then...... His comment is way too complicated, then it has to be removed.
I guess grammar is too?
Are you insulting the animator's work?
Yes, but also more beautiful than it has to be :)