Hello Ismael! Quick note, I am watching your videos and not only does it help me personally but I am learning to better help my Godson. As he reaches dating age I wish to be there for him if he asks me for help. I do not want my own circumstances to affect this. If you have any insight into helping the next generation of men I am happy to listen. Thank you for your videos.
Ismael first of all i have to say that i was sceptical of you if you even know what true love is but that was on point because you were talking about all the women i knew in my inner circle who were always a big red flag 🚩 in my life because the pain they had endured or suffered through men is and was intense they always reminded me of all i never wanne be or experience and i never did by the way i‘ve had always an very harmonious life because I’m a woman who dies absolutely not care about the men who are giving and offering absolutely nothing to me, i did always just care about the men who care about ME!
I want to encourage you to say the truth. I am divorced and my ex wanted it and I didn’t at the beginning. I work he doesn’t, I do house work he do very little because he go to school. He said his father will pay for tuition but he made me pay for it. He lives in my house. So I know I am too good to him but still feel harsh when I heard someone is better for him. But it is true. Both he is irresponsible and what he want he deserves it no matter is a whore or sugar mommy. I am definitely not. Because he provide no Value in our relationship I am angry all the times and of course he doesn’t want it. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I divorced. I am much happier. We women doesn’t always want to hear the truth. So they won’t like your video. But there will be people understand you are not saying it to diminish women but let us to be aware the problem. So now I am not going to be a person make me mad all the times who care if he sees other people is better. That’s ok and that is good for him and good for me also
If they leave, let them. Whatever the reason, accept & move on. Why would U want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with U? More often than not, it's a blessing in disguise.
I had one that came back to me after 15 years. I gave him another chance because he was the love of my life when I was young. He threw me table scraps and made sure everything worked out the way he wanted it to. Then he went on a golf trip to AZ (I actually made him cookies for the trip) and met someone else. I knew right away that this had happened - I just felt it in my heart. He came back, pretended I didn’t exist, moved her and her two kids in his house and married her after just a few months. I was heartbroken and stopped dating after that. She ended up being a beater. She would beat him up and he wouldn’t fight back. They divorced after 10 years. Those 10 years were much better for me than they were for him! I win!
He may have been ‘the love of your life’, but clearly you were never ‘the love of his life’. Only reason he is back is because you treated him better. It’s all about him, and sorry to say, you are a bunny to take him back… 10 years to realise a mistake? Pfft!
Plz be alone ....and be happy...today's maximum men r critical and dishonest. They want only sex n benifits...after 65 years age they would be seriouse about life partner...but then time gone. Who ever would be come in their after that only come for money n benifits....men's understand its veryyyy late. They r just fool they would know that before die.
I'm sorry, you really need to heal. Not only because of that relationship but because you don't feel worthy of love, otherwise you wouldn't allow that. These men are like vampires and will suck the love and soul of a good woman. You won somehow but have you moved on now?
I have been happily married for 23 years, and all I can say about these "reasons" that men leave good women... they are shallow and immature. Good grief! These are not "reasons". These are sad excuses. It's like this young man is trying to brainwash women into believing and accepting that there is a valid reason for men to behave like jerks and be shallow. Pfft! They want a relationship for sex and to meet their own needs. When that gets boring, dull, or hard in any way, they do not want to grow and do the work to improve themselves, let alone a relationship. Period. Ladies, every... single... one of you... deserves better! Don't accept these bull $#!? Exscuses!❤
Agreed! I call it looking for the BBD, the bigger, better deal. Men who do this cannot commit and treat human relationships like a business deal, exclusively. Pathetic.
You nailed it. Thank you for saying it. I just walked away from all his excuses, and while I'm heartbroken, I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. 😢❤
I’m a 25 year old, never dated before. Most guys I meet are only interested in sex or money and if they don’t get it they get angry. If I read all of these comments here then I think it’s better to stay single . At least you’re stress free and can do whatever makes you happy 😅
@@MsLily99 your not missing out you are Wise to stay single my daughter is the same and Love's her single life going on 40 years of age. She's a nurse so she doing very well for herself and Still helps the family she's very giving for those that don't take advantage of her help from her heart. Enjoy your life too! That's amazing. Life is endless John 3:16 A Great Future Ahead.
Trust me this is a good move. There is the odd unicorn that may want a relationship for the right reason, but most will just take advantage and waste your time.
After the birth of my first daughter when just about everyone had a good advice for me, my aunt advised me to listen politely to everyone and do what I felt right. I think that this is a good approach. Hear everyone but listen to your heart and guts. Right now you may feel that the best thing is to stay single, but it is quite possible that you may feel the opposite too. Don't be afraid. There are all kinds of human beings (men and women), e😢ach of us looking for and offering something. So meet life, rely on your abilities to discern and choose who will be mirroring your growth. I wish you luck and the ability to see it. A warm embrace
My ex ended our marriage because I stopped being a yes woman and stopped wanting to be disrespected I started standing up for myself so he went found a new woman to kiss his feet
Pray for that woman. Don't babysit men. Your next love might come sooner than you are expecting. Self-care then self-love first then find a cool man to date.
However, not every good man is compatible with every good woman. Often people make a mistake in who they think that they are involved with. They have a picture in their mind of their perfect person and they fall for that, ignoring the reality of who they are actually dating. This may not be deliberate, but it will cause problems once it is obvious that your wife or husband is not who you thought that they were. There is a reason why most people date for an extended period of time.
A man of God never treat his lady as an option. So many men do not have this sense. A real man has the courage to love and commit to a single partner despite of all the flaws and problems. The rest are just drama. Only the real man is the real partner for lifetime.
Be careful so many wolves in sheep clothing they will even go to church with you, pray with you, quote scripture but then nearly beat you to death or worse. Discerning a man takes time n if he's rushing u, saying BS, wants to engage u so fast but not marry. RUN CHILD.
Absolutely, maturity is more about personal growth and responsibility than age. It’s important to look beyond the numbers and focus on character and actions.
Mine left me for a person 24 years younger than me, a drug addict with 3 kids. Well , her kids got taken away , he got heavy into drugs with her , and died at 58. I was his wife for 22 years… when he got sick with Covid after an OD, she didn’t even come . For 4 months I was at the hospital every day , then he died. I’m a Christian, so I forgave . It’s was 2 years ago, the grief is still there and after such a betrayal I think I will just stay on my own. Me and Jesus .
I understand what you've been through, admire you for your kindness and you are right staying on by ourselves and learning to walk with the Lord Jesus Christ is the best
Your too nice . Thats why nice women get emotional abuse . I would have not. Done it. My exes are jnvisible to me. They dont exist and they will never be allowed into my life. Even if they are dying
My husband of 20 years decided he didnt love me anymore. No warning. Yes he saw a better future without me but the underlying reason was fear. Fear of getting older, fear of missing out, fear of his lifes options becoming limited.. Whereas my greatest fear was not providing a happy stable environment for ourselves and our kids, pathetically his was FOMO.. Men can be their own worst enemies.
I've seen so many of my friends who were kind and sweet got taken for granted and treated poorly by their men. Meanwhile, there are some selfish women for whom men bend over backward to please. It's not fair, I know. But I think you should value yourself and other would too. Girls, put yourself first, because no one else will. Never grovel for scrapes of love from men who don't deserve it. Remember, desperation is very off putting.
To love a man, you must first understand the man's nature instinct. They like challenges and they hate to admit but they love gold diggers. Gold diggers don't care about men but themselves more. Thus, creating a challenge for men. Gold diggers are consistency with their looks. They don't sacrifice for men then look ugly. They spend money on themselves and use men's money, which men feel fulfilling for providing. If you are the provider for a man, he will find someone else to provide. Logic 101. People hate gold diggers, but I think the women should at least acknowledge and learn some tricks from them even if you are not one. Don't do everything for a man, because let a man be a man. Learn self-care and self-love first.
You’re absolutely right-self-worth is crucial, and it’s important to never settle for less than you deserve. Valuing yourself and setting standards helps attract the respect and love you’re worthy of, and desperation will never bring the right kind of attention.
And, while I don't understand this, I keep seeing, not only in my dating life but in the experience of other women, many men seem only attracted to women who treat them like shit. Then they complain about it when they are the ones who go for it. Then get a good woman and don't like or appreciate it. It's insane.
Sperm deteriorates in quantity AND quality once men turn 30... males having children over 30 put those kids at increasingly higher risk for several chronic conditions and disorders. Men do not have an "age" advantage over women for reproduction.
It seems to me that women don't change or even try to improve themselves until after they been through a lot of bad boys and have children and their choices have practically dried up and they finally go for the nice guy / simp to support them and their children.
@@Omar_Zazzle Not me in particular. I waited till I was 28 to lose my virginity for one thing. I just had rotten luck when it came to men for all these years. And a lot of men these days (heck probably a lot of women too) don't know how to love properly anymore.
@@Omar_ZazzleThere's some truth to that. Nice guys aren't necessarily nice though. They can be selfish jerks, too. It just shows up differently. However, it's definitely possible that too many women go for the short term mating guys when they want a long term mating guy. They need to start watching Jane Austen romances and quit watching Twilight. I do think that women probably go for the bad boys first, unfortunately. But then it's a question of whether they are suited to them, and if not, whether they learn it and quit the fantasy that they can change a man or that he'll change more than just a little for them. I only had to encounter one bad boy type to pretty much get scarred for life.
I left my husband after 24 years, because he was trying to send me to an early grave, and I had lost all hope. I totally agree with the concept of looking for a new future without the person who makes you unhappy. I tried, don't get me wrong. I'm a communicator, but when someone sees no problem with the way they are, they aren't ever going to change. Don't give up, cut ties and move on. You both will be happier in the end.
@@clrichards-s3g Exactly my case also, but someone said they think the grass is greener but then realized there is only mud, I said well sometimes the grass is greener, and they all attacked me 😅🙄
Too true. I married an emotionally immature man-child who wanted to be taken care of. He didn't marry me for me nor a partnership, he married me for his own selfish benefits. It took me 6 years to walk away. If he thinks the grass is greener on the other side, go ahead, it's only mud.
@@JR-ev8ce hahahaha, my life is greener since I left my husband! Some people are toxic, and you better leave them, don’t assume we are the best that could have happened to them, because sometimes we are not! Maybe you were, it does not matter because he didn’t see it! Focus on you! And not in what he thinks about you! You know your worth, if he did not see it, too bad! But in my case i left for a good reason and not planning to comeback, because definitely I am much better without him. 😉
It is better to accept when someone wants to leave you. If he finds someone else he thinks better for him, don't stop him,. Do not waste your time on him. Let him go. Don't try to change his mind to love you. And do not change yourself for him. You don't know someone may like you the way you are.
@@nannetteprata2715Forget what you feel you have, because that was a lie. Connect to friends around you who can bring new memories to you. Do not put yourself in jail by remembering your hunger for his body, go out, do something or accomplish something you always wanted, what about courses where you can meet beautiful people, not all men are deadbeats, and it is not to say you want to marry anyone of them, just be a friend, let them be a good pal to you back, and dont sleep with anyone, be expensive with your body, what you now feel is just missing the presence of him, it is not love. Go and meet new friends without expectations!
ive noticed that guys that don’t have good relationships with their moms end up leaving a good woman. but guys that care about their moms don’t leave. my bf has a good relationship with his mom and we’re 2 years strong. he never left me. we always worked through things
Wrong! My sister's ex husband had a good relationship with his mum but he still cheated on my sister 15 years after they got married. She did everything for him.
@@Ashtarot77 it obviously doesn’t go for every single guy on the universe. also, u don’t know if he had a good relationship with his mom. u only saw what he allowed u to see. but i have a background in psychology, and i’ve been surrounded by guys who grew up with single moms or no mom at all. they were not kind to their gfs and their relationships always ended. those types of guys tend to be very entitled and misogynistic tendencies.
Thank you soo much. This video proved to be very helpful for me. He broke up and yesterday i spent the whole night sending him message and trying really hard to make him stay . Cried for the whole night. Today , I lived with swollen eyes till the night. I will never ever think about him again. I am happy that he has gone.
The idea of a PERFECT mate is a FANTASY!! It is unrealistic and actually a bit narcissistic to expect a person to completely fulfill you. To some extent, we are responsible for our own happiness. Ever hear of SACRIFICIAL LOVE?? Love for a lifetime will not happen without it!! Deep and abiding love is possible but it takes real commitment and humility. Pride and SELFISHNESS abound, unfortunately. In today's world, I must address the issue of pornography because it is destroying people .. married or single. My husband and I are people of faith in Christ and married for 40 years. I have a good husband, but I have had my disappointments, too. Too many people refuse to go the distance and it's heartbreaking. God bless everyone on this thread 🙏 ❤
I agree 👍 💯 % I'm a women of faith myself been married for 19 years. People get married today for happiness. Longer 8m married I realise marriage is christ the husband and the the bride the church. Christ sacrificed himself for the church. And the church submits under christ. This is important to understand. Today's marriage there is no depth.
Many men leave good women for bad women. Then when the men are old, sick & worn out and the bad women dont want them anymore, they envy the men that stayed with their good women and are enjoying a good life with their wife, children & grandchildren.
That’s a poignant observation. Sometimes people don’t realize what they had until it’s too late. It’s a reminder of the value of appreciating and cherishing the good relationships while you have them.
I believe it’s lot to do with mans egos , my mother always told me when a man gets a Good woman by his own foolishness he lives her , and go chase after gold diggers flattering of poison venomous lips thinking it’s better, until that leaches leave him as soon as he is empty. This also goes to a woman as well. my mom guarantee you man or woman who does that will be painfully sorry at the end. ‘’ Don’t get mad at my mom she passed away Long long time ago when I was young.
My take on this is a lot of men have unresolved issues from their childhood that carry on subconsciously into their adults lives. If they do not address those issues they will spend their lives self-sabotaging. To make matters worse, the notion of a man getting into a therapist consultation is still very much judged, not only by people around him but also by him himself...these men will end up losing amazing because of this
True! My partner or ex (don't know which at this stage) has attachment issues and had 4 marriages and has always asked them to leave after 8 to 10 yrs, Apart from the 1st he cheated on. But he refuses to see he has those issues and prioritizing his women the least. His father was that way so that's what he saw.
Ladies, the important message here is prepare for him to walk away, KEEP YOUR CAREER GOING, SAVE YOUR MONEY INSTEAD OF BUYING EXPENSIVE HANDBAGS, STAY IN SHAPE AND CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR Retirement plan! If he walks, you’ll be fine.
Men will not get involved with a woman he doesn’t like or find attractive. I think is just the character of the man. Some men believe they have many options so they are very choosy and they play the field, they have big egos, they can also be narcissists. Others are good men with kind hearts who respect and value woman and so when they meet a woman they like and are attracted to, they will put in the effort to maintain the relationship and they won’t do a runner on them.
So true! Everything that you said was right on ❤ Other reasons when one partner leaves is: 1- Bad sex- failing to satisfy physically or emotionally the other partner. 2- physical or mental issues. 3- Addiction 4- being second place. Parents or friends whims and wishes come first, 4- inability to manage life. Messing around, making bad decisions, lazy. 5- being too possessive, stingy, jealous, backstabbing, unkind. 6- have dangerous ideas, steal, lie, overly sexual. 7- being unmanageable, rude, having a bad mouth, or bossy of a bad kind. 8- overly ambitious, works too hard, doesn’t enjoy life. Everything is a chore an obligation and a responsibility. 9- victim minded. The suffering kind, gives away her stuff and complains and moans. 10- same sex attraction takes over.❤
So essentially you can never really be good enough for most men? No matter what you do? They’ll just be fickle and leave for someone who’s got less to give than you?
I will listen to this on repeat, never to forget, never to get fooled and used again believing that there can be someone out there for me. The price for finding it out is too high.
This video is non sense and just low balling women! The only reason that a man leaves a woman after approaching her, wooing her or after a relationship with her is that he is WEAKER than that woman and runs to find another weak woman who he can feel strong with!!!
Well said. I m 73 and i know why i am saying , well said. I have lived all the pain with two husbands. You have a lot of wisdom for your age. God bless you. Very helpful.
Thank you it was painful after 20 years and he had 4 woman after me so that showed me a lot about myself and I got a delightful man in my life who is good to me
He sure can find a future without me but not a better one I promise😊 Im a software engineer, a tango dancer, a musician, a lovely heartwarmingly charming, beautiful young lady and I’ll work my ass off as long as I live. I’ll stay true to my authentic self and my values and no one can take this away from me 👸🏼
In a country where sex can be ordered like pizza, relationships are bound to be a mess. Any man who would leave a good woman is a fool and should be let go. Better to be happy alone than miserable along a shallow man.
A man is not happy with himself and where he is in life, or he doesn’t want to feel insignificant and small next to her. Weak men afraid 😧 of strong woman, they don’t want a woman who is independent free thinker, and can accomplish things without a man.
Leaving a cheating, lying abuser gave me a much better life. It took time to reinvent myself, time well spent. He expresses his regrets at being a lousy husband. His loss, my gain.
Also i feel when women give too much in relationship nowadays men feel she's desperate and they don't realise its efforts and not desperation. That's why i always feel women to hold on and let men persieve you if you feel he's the one then put efforts which are required to keep the relationship or man . Don't give too much that's his job . Let him do it .
I agree, effort can look like desperation - I think that might have been the problem in my situation. I want someone who will see the effort and value that - and me!
It took many years to stop taking all the blame. One day I came to the conclusion ( I have some ownership in the failure), we are not right for each other. I am worthy and I matter and deserve to have happiness, just not with him. It is easy to blame 100% on him; but, I allowed the behavior. So took a break and worked on be a better version of me and this time had boundaries. Rather be free and maybe lonely than to be in a relationship alone and miserable.
I would have to say, from what I've seen in my 70 years, 45 of those married to the same man, this is not from experience, is because men can't keep it in their pants, they are immature, Mid-life crisis is hitting, life is passing them by and they want to relive their youth with some hot, young chick!
If he leaves a woman because she lacks 20% of what he wants the next one who has that 20% will be lacking 20% of what the first one had. That’s what John Gottman found in his 30 years of researching couples. As a couple therapist I can tell you, this guy has no idea. The people commenting here know more than he does.
@@zetatheta964 My thinking too. When a person focuses on the 10-20% they don’t have, they forget and take for granted the 80-90% they do have and chase that 10-20%, only to discover they have lost a chunk of that 80-90% with someone new.
It must have been quite painful to tap into those memories to make this video for us. It's not easy to watch people you love suffer. Thank you for the video and the insight. This one is appreciated for you going into the depths of your pain to help us.
I have had men who left because they felt inferior and not good enough. Some of these were intelligent proffessional men who felt inferior due to many diferent reasons. Too bad because I could have been able to stay by their side and help them throughout life.
It's not always the man that leaves a woman but a strong woman who does not allow a man to break her. She cannot be with him if she has no trust, support or respect. She does not look back but moves on to a better future for herself and family.
I think my son's step mum is better suited for his dad than I ever was. We had loads in common yes, but they just make a better couple. I'm still single after all these years because I haven't found anyone who's better for me yet.
Honesty is the best policy,I always say to my long time boyfriend if he found someone better that will make him happy it’s okay for me coz he deserves that and I deserve to be happy too.
Someone once said he doesn’t marry you because he is just waiting until he finds someone better but yeah for now he hasn’t met anyone better so getting a relationship without any true cost to him like marrying you is such a bonus for him for sure.
After dating for 1, 2,3 ,4,5,6,7years the man didn't see the future That's why he leave ? Oh Gosh 😂😂 being a lady, woman, girl, lady is hard . Stay single forever 🎉
That's why you shouldn't give any man more than 3 years of your time if no ring. The older you are, cut back to 2 years dating. No man wants a woman and putting her in GF ZONE forever. Don't give out wifey benefits without marriage. Don't wait for any man after 3 years. Youth wasted.
@@LoveLife-oo9cz My parents, when they were in their 20's in the 70's just took around a year. I'm in my 40's I'm not waiting even 2 years. To @Senka778, thank you. That's kind of you to say. I gotta do what I gotta do. It's too frustrating to be waiting for someone who doesn't care about you and your goals. Not to mention hurtful. I may even do fostering or adoption if that stuff fails. My aunt though, she got so lucky. She and her second husband had IVF at 48 and boom at 49, they had twins! It was crazy and cool. She already had three previous children with her first husband.
I wish I had seen your videos while I was with the man I broke up with after 16 years of confusing relationship. But I'm still glad I stumbled upon your channel. You present it in a simple, short, but very substantial, enlightening way. More power to you!
Men prefere bad ladies, because they can always give them a excuse to leave them. With a good, intelligente and caring lady, they just dont know how to excuse themselves to leave them; it's more difficult.
That actually makes a lot of sense. 😢 When my husband left me , I thought to myself he needs to be with a woman that is a slob , a drinker and bad mother because he sure wasn't happy with an organized, stable mother of his child , sober, drug free wife, I work full time too, business owner. It has broken my heart that our family is torn because he is so immature. After our son was born gradually he just became complacent, lazy and indifferent. I will never trust again. He broke my heart.
They may not leave you but you are no where in their thoughts except they want you present to keep their life in order but have no regard for how you feel. It is better to be on your own than being lonely in a relationship
I think the worst thing a woman does in her life is to try and think how she could keep a man in her life! If this guy wants to leave, please consider it like a stone that is going to be away from you towards success! Thank you for your explanation!
In my case, it's bevause they had NO CHOICE. After years of them ignoring me , what's important to me , things Id like us to do together, or things Id like him to do..... he had to go, I was done. Actuslly I them both the houses. I didnt want anything from them. Just my freedom - done talking to a wall. Ive been alone since 1997, traded him in for 2 pit bulls and never looked back!!!! And zi coukdnt be happier. I dont have to compromise, consider his opinion, run anything by him, its my house, my property, my SUV, my TV my furniture, my art, my flower beds, my vegetable garden, my health vs his sickness.😊😊i LOVE IT!! MY DOGS AND I ARE HAPPY 😂❤
A lot of women feel like talking with their husband is like talking to a wall! I have met older couples that enjoy their small talk and difficult discussions and they don't end up in arguments. I admire them.
Men leave amazing women for women that tell him how amazing he is and they validate that you’re fake and not amazing as he’s been led to believe. This is exactly what he needs to hear about you to feel good about himself.
I dated a guy in his mid 30s for 2,5 months earlier this year, then broke up with the me because he felt overwhelmed. 4 months go by and he reaches out. I asked him what he wants, he said he was now ready to date seriously and looking for something longterm. I was careful and continued dating other men. After 2.5months of consistent dating but no intimacy yet, he asks if we can become intimate and I say we can if we exclusively do so with each other for safety. he breaks it up again because he is not ready for something committed or monogamous. I am so glad he now showed his pattern and that I continued dating other men so I can easily shift my focus on them. Please keep dating other men ladies, it protects your heart!
That's actually a good strategy. Many women just feel that when you're talking to different men, you need to be intimate with all of them. I always say you can go out and have a nice date, and just get to know each other better.
I really love your videos and that one reason men would leave a good woman is absolutely the same , that women would leave a good man... Well believe that we deserve something better and after a while all relationships come to the point that we wonder "Is this really the best, I can do?"...
I’m 68 and I think I have had all these things happen to me in my past relationships. It really helps if they have the kindness to be honest even if it feels crushing at the time. We must be honest with each other and not play games. Everyone wants to be cared about, loved and desired. I know that I only found my true love after I let go and just enjoyed my life as it was. He was a man I admired greatly and I was so blessed to be his wife. He died much too young and I miss him these 30 years on. Be patient and remember what this man Ismael says, write it down. It’s true.
He found a woman who’s going to put up with his crap. I’m holding him accountable and I ain’t accepting nothing less than what I deserve and want. 🤷🏽♀️ I’m not changing no one. I’m leaving you and letting go periodt. Immature behavior is the worse. I enjoyed your video. This was helpful to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts
Relationship shouldn't ever be forced. No one should be forced to continue staying in a struggling relationship. Just be bold enough to walk away for your peace and joy.
While he can phrase things in this way, there most certainly are other/deeper reasons that a man might leave a good woman. One of the biggest reasons he could leave someone is that he feels inadequate. You can't satisfy a person like that.
This young man lacks a mature understanding. He is listing excuses for the men, telling women if only they were different he wouldn't leave you. This is why real psychologists are required to do therapy, so they don't bs themselves.
0:31 you give me full chills like Goosebumps all over like you are such an angel thank you. I am having an EMDR for over a year and I've been through DBT as well what you're doing here is bordering on Angelic thank you. This is nexf level healing. I trust the process.
My ex left me for my bf, and she was a 20... jealousy and insecurity split them up in 2 yrs...She just wanted money and my life style...It didnt work out bc she didnt want to work or cook..They ran the business into the ground and closed everything..He came back asking for a second chance.. He remarried 3 times and came back after each... had kids with the last one and now getting divorced and currently has a gf with 2 boys that are adorable...i appove of this girl...she reminds me of myself...i hope he doesnt mess this up...i forgave him long ago but will never take any man back that cheats..Wish him the best, hes gonna need it with this divorce...
I think in many ways I've pushed the good men in my life away. I've never felt worthy. I've had rheumatoid arthritis since I was a baby and it's always been a dark cloud over my relationships. I chose to not have children because of it for fear of passing it on to them so it's been hard to have a fully traditional relationship. Aside from that, being disabled and needing a caretaker would make me a huge burden. None of those things have ever sat right with me. I feel like it's just better not to inflict myself on a good man. I want to be able to give things in a relationship that I'm no longer able to, or was never able to give.
The grass is always greener on the other side. Mutual respect and having the same values…..and true love will keep a couple together. I have been with the love of my life for 30 yrs, and it’s give and take. Not just about fulfilling one’s needs. It’s a two way street or he is high maintenance and when he walks it’s a sigh of relief.
I married a guy who loved me for years. Then he stopped. He got ill, couldnt perform, retired, made less money. Then after a lovely joyful week with a much beloved family member, asked me for a divorce. 25 years of marriage. Me carrying the financial load. I said sure.
If she is stronger, more motivayed, more intelligent he may feel inferior in some ways , then he will try to bring her down and eventually he will leave for a weaker woman to boost his self confidence.🙏
Not to hate men...yes ..but after using what is the value of women? I mean I am not an old phone...I saw it once in my life. my husband needed to walk away, he lived in another country with another woman. he repented. I knew after his death. Now what? That should happen! There is a God who is watching our actions.
During our divorce, my ex started seeing a woman, and finally moved out. About 3 months in, they hit a hard patch, I sat her down for about 3 hours, giving her every reason to hold on to him. 10 years later, that are still together. I didn't mention his narcissism to her, mostly because I really didn't want him back. Major course correction for me, my castle is surrounded by a food forest, vineyard and berry patches, that I planted myself. This was always my dream, he used to mock me about it. Letting go changed my life.
Basically, in life, if you're a good person you're gonna have bad times for sure. I learnt that the hard way. I'm still good at essence, but I try to be a little selfish and it works for me.
i feel the 80/20 rule a lot because the guy kept asking for things that I couldn't do such as meeting more often but when he got into a college i think he found someone and thought "oh i can be with her everyday", he texted me back saying im the coolest girl he met and he wants to start it all over again, this just proves it lol idk what to do now tho :/
Thank You!! this was very honest and finally something really helpful . No more a victim mentality ..or wondering about milion reasons....it is just how life works.
Men and women that leave a good marriage almost always seem to need a crutch (affair) which is the 20% fulfillment. Once they're fully exited they come to realize they don't need the crutch anymore but it's too late to regain what they had. I really hate it that people generally don't exit on fair grounds without the advantage ( a soft shoulder to fall on) in their court. Don't be selfish and think of only yourself. You are leaving a whole village behind with more than one person hurting. If you want to exit, have a mature talk and only exit when you are 100% single and then you will know that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Leaving for someone else can turn your emotions inside out when all it was was an illusion and you are left standing alone. Be honest with your mate and come to a conclusion just between the two of you. Nothing wrong with leaving but don't do it for a 3rd person ever.
Thanks God. I've already heal from all my pain and bleeding as well. And now, God replace it with calm husband and kind man come to my life. After the rain , the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain , the joy will still be here.
I really think you might be my favorite relationship coach I've seen on UA-cam thus far. I find myself understanding concepts so well the way you put them, and you provide a really nuanced take. Thanks for all your hard work, and for sharing with us!
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks to all of you that have subscribed to my channel.
It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Hello Ismael! Quick note, I am watching your videos and not only does it help me personally but I am learning to better help my Godson. As he reaches dating age I wish to be there for him if he asks me for help. I do not want my own circumstances to affect this. If you have any insight into helping the next generation of men I am happy to listen. Thank you for your videos.
He leaves because he is getting better sex elsewhere
Ismael first of all i have to say that i was sceptical of you if you even know what true love is but that was on point because you were talking about all the women i knew in my inner circle who were always a big red flag 🚩 in my life because the pain they had endured or suffered through men is and was intense they always reminded me of all i never wanne be or experience and i never did by the way i‘ve had always an very harmonious life because I’m a woman who dies absolutely not care about the men who are giving and offering absolutely nothing to me, i did always just care about the men who care about ME!
I want to encourage you to say the truth. I am divorced and my ex wanted it and I didn’t at the beginning. I work he doesn’t, I do house work he do very little because he go to school. He said his father will pay for tuition but he made me pay for it. He lives in my house. So I know I am too good to him but still feel harsh when I heard someone is better for him. But it is true. Both he is irresponsible and what he want he deserves it no matter is a whore or sugar mommy. I am definitely not. Because he provide no Value in our relationship I am angry all the times and of course he doesn’t want it. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I divorced. I am much happier. We women doesn’t always want to hear the truth. So they won’t like your video. But there will be people understand you are not saying it to diminish women but let us to be aware the problem. So now I am not going to be a person make me mad all the times who care if he sees other people is better. That’s ok and that is good for him and good for me also
Why only women must be scared to keep with man , all your vidoes are crap!!
My dad always told me that when a man leaves a woman, it means that he’s not the right one for her. The right man will not leave her.
Absolutely
@@stellatong5002 men don't leave ...they want wife and other women also . Wife cooks and other women for sex.
amen
I quit
Unless she cheats , lies and steals. Then leave her. She doesn't love you
Becouse good women are for good man .
Good Answer!!
I AGREE
Amen, Sister!
Exactly
Yes Quran says the same thing
... *Good women are for good men, and good men for good women*
*Quraan **24:26*
If they leave, let them. Whatever the reason, accept & move on. Why would U want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with U? More often than not, it's a blessing in disguise.
agree
You got that right.
It's so difficult if the woman have kids. They will always remind her of that monster.
I read a quote “I got a cat for a husband it was a good trade
Man's rejection is God's protection.
I’m going to frame this statement: “He found someone better for him NOT someone better than me”
Daily reminder.
Also, he may just be an asshat. 😂
Yes
Yes, I love this ❤❤❤
WOW... and land in a dump 😂😂
I am returning from a post that said, the longer you hold on to what's not meant for you, you delay whats meant for you
I had one that came back to me after 15 years. I gave him another chance because he was the love of my life when I was young. He threw me table scraps and made sure everything worked out the way he wanted it to. Then he went on a golf trip to AZ (I actually made him cookies for the trip) and met someone else. I knew right away that this had happened - I just felt it in my heart. He came back, pretended I didn’t exist, moved her and her two kids in his house and married her after just a few months. I was heartbroken and stopped dating after that. She ended up being a beater. She would beat him up and he wouldn’t fight back. They divorced after 10 years. Those 10 years were much better for me than they were for him! I win!
Karma will always take care of things. Good for you.
He may have been ‘the love of your life’, but clearly you were never ‘the love of his life’. Only reason he is back is because you treated him better. It’s all about him, and sorry to say, you are a bunny to take him back… 10 years to realise a mistake? Pfft!
Why in gods name would you allow him to come back after THAT long & expect him to treat you like anything but trash
Plz be alone ....and be happy...today's maximum men r critical and dishonest. They want only sex n benifits...after 65 years age they would be seriouse about life partner...but then time gone. Who ever would be come in their after that only come for money n benifits....men's understand its veryyyy late. They r just fool they would know that before die.
I'm sorry, you really need to heal. Not only because of that relationship but because you don't feel worthy of love, otherwise you wouldn't allow that. These men are like vampires and will suck the love and soul of a good woman. You won somehow but have you moved on now?
I have been happily married for 23 years, and all I can say about these "reasons" that men leave good women... they are shallow and immature. Good grief!
These are not "reasons". These are sad excuses. It's like this young man is trying to brainwash women into believing and accepting that there is a valid reason for men to behave like jerks and be shallow.
Pfft!
They want a relationship for sex and to meet their own needs. When that gets boring, dull, or hard in any way, they do not want to grow and do the work to improve themselves, let alone a relationship. Period.
Ladies, every... single... one of you... deserves better!
Don't accept these bull $#!? Exscuses!❤
Agreed! I call it looking for the BBD, the bigger, better deal. Men who do this cannot commit and treat human relationships like a business deal, exclusively. Pathetic.
Just his opinion does not make him right
You nailed it. Thank you for saying it. I just walked away from all his excuses, and while I'm heartbroken, I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. 😢❤
Hear, hear!👏🏽
Well said. Completely agree 💯.
I’m a 25 year old, never dated before. Most guys I meet are only interested in sex or money and if they don’t get it they get angry. If I read all of these comments here then I think it’s better to stay single . At least you’re stress free and can do whatever makes you happy 😅
@@MsLily99 your not missing out you are Wise to stay single my daughter is the same and Love's her single life going on 40 years of age. She's a nurse so she doing very well for herself and Still helps the family she's very giving for those that don't take advantage of her help from her heart.
Enjoy your life too!
That's amazing.
Life is endless
John 3:16 A Great Future Ahead.
Trust me this is a good move. There is the odd unicorn that may want a relationship for the right reason, but most will just take advantage and waste your time.
After the birth of my first daughter when just about everyone had a good advice for me, my aunt advised me to listen politely to everyone and do what I felt right.
I think that this is a good approach. Hear everyone but listen to your heart and guts. Right now you may feel that the best thing is to stay single, but it is quite possible that you may feel the opposite too.
Don't be afraid. There are all kinds of human beings (men and women), e😢ach of us looking for and offering something. So meet life, rely on your abilities to discern and choose who will be mirroring your growth.
I wish you luck and the ability to see it.
A warm embrace
😢
😢 my elephant fingers touched this. Apologies
My ex ended our marriage because I stopped being a yes woman and stopped wanting to be disrespected I started standing up for myself so he went found a new woman to kiss his feet
Pray for that woman. Don't babysit men. Your next love might come sooner than you are expecting.
Self-care then self-love first then find a cool man to date.
Exactly 💯 that's why I left
Forgive her, most likely she is putting up with that because of the finances.
A lot of women in abusive relationship because of economic hardship.
@@vkrgfan😭😭😭
I bet you didn’t put out enough and that’s why he left.
Good men don't leave Good women!!!
Exactly
Exactly. A good man knows the value of a good woman and won't let her go.
easy pissy
However, not every good man is compatible with every good woman. Often people make a mistake in who they think that they are involved with. They have a picture in their mind of their perfect person and they fall for that, ignoring the reality of who they are actually dating. This may not be deliberate, but it will cause problems once it is obvious that your wife or husband is not who you thought that they were. There is a reason why most people date for an extended period of time.
Always looking for something better 😜. Lose a diamond and pick up a rock. 😢
A man of God never treat his lady as an option. So many men do not have this sense. A real man has the courage to love and commit to a single partner despite of all the flaws and problems. The rest are just drama. Only the real man is the real partner for lifetime.
Be careful so many wolves in sheep clothing they will even go to church with you, pray with you, quote scripture but then nearly beat you to death or worse. Discerning a man takes time n if he's rushing u, saying BS, wants to engage u so fast but not marry.
RUN CHILD.
😅@@missevie432
No, maturity is not about age, true!!
i see many men in their 20s being just lovely, and many in their 40s being immature and unreliable.
Absolutely, maturity is more about personal growth and responsibility than age. It’s important to look beyond the numbers and focus on character and actions.
@@SaveTheMessenger 100%
And thank you for your work. ☺
Correct
Because older guys has more experience + they probably want younger women
Mine left me for a person 24 years younger than me, a drug addict with 3 kids. Well , her kids got taken away , he got heavy into drugs with her , and died at 58. I was his wife for 22 years… when he got sick with Covid after an OD, she didn’t even come . For 4 months I was at the hospital every day , then he died. I’m a Christian, so I forgave . It’s was 2 years ago, the grief is still there and after such a betrayal I think I will just stay on my own. Me and Jesus .
I’m so sorry ❤
What a tragic loss. 😢
I'm so sorry! Sending you peace and healing. 🕊
You deserve happiness
I understand what you've been through, admire you for your kindness and you are right staying on by ourselves and learning to walk with the Lord Jesus Christ is the best
Your too nice . Thats why nice women get emotional abuse . I would have not. Done it. My exes are jnvisible to me. They dont exist and they will never be allowed into my life. Even if they are dying
My husband of 20 years decided he didnt love me anymore. No warning. Yes he saw a better future without me but the underlying reason was fear. Fear of getting older, fear of missing out, fear of his lifes options becoming limited.. Whereas my greatest fear was not providing a happy stable environment for ourselves and our kids, pathetically his was FOMO.. Men can be their own worst enemies.
Sounds very familiar. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Like he was going through mid- life crisis...
Same here. Only we had been married 48 years. He imploded our family. That was 10 years ago.
Same...After 14 years...
Midlife crisis...
I've seen so many of my friends who were kind and sweet got taken for granted and treated poorly by their men. Meanwhile, there are some selfish women for whom men bend over backward to please. It's not fair, I know. But I think you should value yourself and other would too. Girls, put yourself first, because no one else will. Never grovel for scrapes of love from men who don't deserve it. Remember, desperation is very off putting.
To love a man, you must first understand the man's nature instinct. They like challenges and they hate to admit but they love gold diggers. Gold diggers don't care about men but themselves more. Thus, creating a challenge for men. Gold diggers are consistency with their looks. They don't sacrifice for men then look ugly. They spend money on themselves and use men's money, which men feel fulfilling for providing. If you are the provider for a man, he will find someone else to provide. Logic 101.
People hate gold diggers, but I think the women should at least acknowledge and learn some tricks from them even if you are not one. Don't do everything for a man, because let a man be a man. Learn self-care and self-love first.
You’re absolutely right-self-worth is crucial, and it’s important to never settle for less than you deserve. Valuing yourself and setting standards helps attract the respect and love you’re worthy of, and desperation will never bring the right kind of attention.
@@LoveLife-oo9cz Exactly 💯
@@LoveLife-oo9czi swear I swear I swear, you are the epitome of truth. 💯
And, while I don't understand this, I keep seeing, not only in my dating life but in the experience of other women, many men seem only attracted to women who treat them like shit. Then they complain about it when they are the ones who go for it. Then get a good woman and don't like or appreciate it. It's insane.
We women can adapt, change, improve, but we cannot get YOUNGER.
Sperm deteriorates in quantity AND quality once men turn 30... males having children over 30 put those kids at increasingly higher risk for several chronic conditions and disorders. Men do not have an "age" advantage over women for reproduction.
It seems to me that women don't change or even try to improve themselves until after they been through a lot of bad boys and have children and their choices have practically dried up and they finally go for the nice guy / simp to support them and their children.
@@Omar_Zazzle Not me in particular. I waited till I was 28 to lose my virginity for one thing. I just had rotten luck when it came to men for all these years. And a lot of men these days (heck probably a lot of women too) don't know how to love properly anymore.
@@Omar_ZazzleThere's some truth to that. Nice guys aren't necessarily nice though. They can be selfish jerks, too. It just shows up differently. However, it's definitely possible that too many women go for the short term mating guys when they want a long term mating guy. They need to start watching Jane Austen romances and quit watching Twilight. I do think that women probably go for the bad boys first, unfortunately. But then it's a question of whether they are suited to them, and if not, whether they learn it and quit the fantasy that they can change a man or that he'll change more than just a little for them.
I only had to encounter one bad boy type to pretty much get scarred for life.
@@Omar_ZazzleYou're over-generalizing.
I left my husband after 24 years, because he was trying to send me to an early grave, and I had lost all hope. I totally agree with the concept of looking for a new future without the person who makes you unhappy. I tried, don't get me wrong. I'm a communicator, but when someone sees no problem with the way they are, they aren't ever going to change. Don't give up, cut ties and move on. You both will be happier in the end.
@@clrichards-s3g Exactly my case also, but someone said they think the grass is greener but then realized there is only mud, I said well sometimes the grass is greener, and they all attacked me 😅🙄
Hahahaha
@@jiminofthevalley1081 that's so right. I got the last laugh. 😂
Too true. I married an emotionally immature man-child who wanted to be taken care of. He didn't marry me for me nor a partnership, he married me for his own selfish benefits. It took me 6 years to walk away. If he thinks the grass is greener on the other side, go ahead, it's only mud.
Sometimes is greener
@@carlel121 lol bait
@@carlel121…..no, it’s not greener, it LOOKS greener because it’s planted over the sewer!!
@@JR-ev8ce hahahaha, my life is greener since I left my husband! Some people are toxic, and you better leave them, don’t assume we are the best that could have happened to them, because sometimes we are not! Maybe you were, it does not matter because he didn’t see it! Focus on you! And not in what he thinks about you! You know your worth, if he did not see it, too bad! But in my case i left for a good reason and not planning to comeback, because definitely I am much better without him. 😉
It took me 26 years to figure it out. Glad you didn’t waste more time than 6.
It is better to accept when someone wants to leave you. If he finds someone else he thinks better for him, don't stop him,. Do not waste your time on him. Let him go. Don't try to change his mind to love you. And do not change yourself for him. You don't know someone may like you the way you are.
But how do I survive the physical craving for our love?
@@nannetteprata2715Forget what you feel you have, because that was a lie. Connect to friends around you who can bring new memories to you. Do not put yourself in jail by remembering your hunger for his body, go out, do something or accomplish something you always wanted, what about courses where you can meet beautiful people, not all men are deadbeats, and it is not to say you want to marry anyone of them, just be a friend, let them be a good pal to you back, and dont sleep with anyone, be expensive with your body, what you now feel is just missing the presence of him, it is not love. Go and meet new friends without expectations!
Don't compete ladies...let him go!❤
That's right-competing only drains your energy. Sometimes the best choice is to let go and focus on your own well-being.
Amen.
ive noticed that guys that don’t have good relationships with their moms end up leaving a good woman. but guys that care about their moms don’t leave. my bf has a good relationship with his mom and we’re 2 years strong. he never left me. we always worked through things
Wrong! My sister's ex husband had a good relationship with his mum but he still cheated on my sister 15 years after they got married. She did everything for him.
@@Ashtarot77 it obviously doesn’t go for every single guy on the universe. also, u don’t know if he had a good relationship with his mom. u only saw what he allowed u to see. but i have a background in psychology, and i’ve been surrounded by guys who grew up with single moms or no mom at all. they were not kind to their gfs and their relationships always ended. those types of guys tend to be very entitled and misogynistic tendencies.
@@jennalavena”You only see what he allows you to see.” That one is usually the case 💯
@@SaveTheMessenger thank you
You are only starting, but maybe it will really work on the long run.
Thank you soo much. This video proved to be very helpful for me. He broke up and yesterday i spent the whole night sending him message and trying really hard to make him stay . Cried for the whole night. Today , I lived with swollen eyes till the night. I will never ever think about him again. I am happy that he has gone.
Sorry
I don't want to pry, but why did he break up with you?
@@Thou-tj7hdreally?
Sending love and support, stay strong 💛
@@Thou-tj7hdthank you for your introduction 😁 now i understand you are an insecure , pathetic, sadist.
The idea of a PERFECT mate is a FANTASY!!
It is unrealistic and actually a bit narcissistic to expect a person to completely fulfill you. To some extent, we are responsible for our own happiness.
Ever hear of SACRIFICIAL LOVE?? Love for a lifetime will not happen without it!!
Deep and abiding love is possible but it takes real commitment and humility.
Pride and SELFISHNESS abound, unfortunately.
In today's world, I must address the issue of pornography because it is destroying people .. married or single.
My husband and I are people of faith in Christ and married for 40 years.
I have a good husband, but I have had my disappointments, too.
Too many people refuse to go the distance and it's heartbreaking.
God bless everyone on this thread 🙏 ❤
Wisely stated by someone with actual experience and insight.
I agree 👍 💯 %
I'm a women of faith myself been married for 19 years. People get married today for happiness. Longer 8m married I realise marriage is christ the husband and the the bride the church. Christ sacrificed himself for the church. And the church submits under christ. This is important to understand. Today's marriage there is no depth.
Men leave a good women because they get bored with a good one. Men continues to play until all the good ones are gone.
I appreciate your insights. Thank you for sharing.
Many men leave good women for bad women. Then when the men are old, sick & worn out and the bad women dont want them anymore, they envy the men that stayed with their good women and are enjoying a good life with their wife, children & grandchildren.
That’s a poignant observation. Sometimes people don’t realize what they had until it’s too late. It’s a reminder of the value of appreciating and cherishing the good relationships while you have them.
So true!
Agree have seen it
I believe it’s lot to do with mans egos , my mother always told me when a man gets a Good woman by his own foolishness he lives her , and go chase after gold diggers flattering of poison venomous lips thinking it’s better, until that leaches leave him as soon as he is empty. This also goes to a woman as well. my mom guarantee you man or woman who does that will be painfully sorry at the end. ‘’ Don’t get mad at my mom she passed away Long long time ago when I was young.
This is true!! ❤️❤️
My take on this is a lot of men have unresolved issues from their childhood that carry on subconsciously into their adults lives. If they do not address those issues they will spend their lives self-sabotaging. To make matters worse, the notion of a man getting into a therapist consultation is still very much judged, not only by people around him but also by him himself...these men will end up losing amazing because of this
Well said!
Absolutely 💯%
🎯🎯🎯
Bullshit…. They need to put there big girl panties on. Get over it
True! My partner or ex (don't know which at this stage) has attachment issues and had 4 marriages and has always asked them to leave after 8 to 10 yrs, Apart from the 1st he cheated on. But he refuses to see he has those issues and prioritizing his women the least. His father was that way so that's what he saw.
Your videos are telling me that my future is better off without men
Cats are cute.
@@Omar_Zazzle yeah ur right I am going to have 3 cats and 3 dogs. Men come and go but pets are forever.
@@ChristinaSloan-yn7tm I've heard once that pets and kids are loved more than men. Now I understand why
The future is indeed better without men
Why would you think like that ? Just move slow, follow the Word of God, do not go against your intuition, love yourself.
Ladies, the important message here is prepare for him to walk away, KEEP YOUR CAREER GOING, SAVE YOUR MONEY INSTEAD OF BUYING EXPENSIVE HANDBAGS, STAY IN SHAPE AND CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR Retirement plan! If he walks, you’ll be fine.
Men will not get involved with a woman he doesn’t like or find attractive. I think is just the character of the man. Some men believe they have many options so they are very choosy and they play the field, they have big egos, they can also be narcissists. Others are good men with kind hearts who respect and value woman and so when they meet a woman they like and are attracted to, they will put in the effort to maintain the relationship and they won’t do a runner on them.
So true! Everything that you said was right on ❤
Other reasons when one partner leaves is:
1- Bad sex- failing to satisfy physically or emotionally the other partner.
2- physical or mental issues.
3- Addiction
4- being second place.
Parents or friends whims and wishes come first,
4- inability to manage life. Messing around, making bad decisions, lazy.
5- being too possessive, stingy, jealous, backstabbing, unkind.
6- have dangerous ideas, steal, lie, overly sexual.
7- being unmanageable, rude, having a bad mouth, or bossy of a bad kind.
8- overly ambitious, works too hard, doesn’t enjoy life. Everything is a chore an obligation and a responsibility.
9- victim minded. The suffering kind, gives away her stuff and complains and moans.
10- same sex attraction takes over.❤
Thank you for sharing this.
Can you tell more of the victim minded. Like why would they give away their stuff?
So essentially you can never really be good enough for most men? No matter what you do? They’ll just be fickle and leave for someone who’s got less to give than you?
Sometimes people are only supposed to be in your life for a season and seasons change.
I think so.
Yet as ladies we never think of that when falling in love.
Season change, feeling change too.
Yep as we get older overtime...we change our pov on life and life partners.
I will listen to this on repeat, never to forget, never to get fooled and used again believing that there can be someone out there for me.
The price for finding it out is too high.
I hope you find someone who makes you feel loved and safe.
@@SaveTheMessenger I won't, because it involves risk I am no longer willing to take to find out...
This video is non sense and just low balling women! The only reason that a man leaves a woman after approaching her, wooing her or after a relationship with her is that he is WEAKER than that woman and runs to find another weak woman who he can feel strong with!!!
Well said. I m 73 and i know why i am saying , well said. I have lived all the pain with two husbands. You have a lot of wisdom for your age. God bless you. Very helpful.
Thank you it was painful after 20 years and he had 4 woman after me so that showed me a lot about myself and I got a delightful man in my life who is good to me
He sure can find a future without me but not a better one I promise😊 Im a software engineer, a tango dancer, a musician, a lovely heartwarmingly charming, beautiful young lady and I’ll work my ass off as long as I live. I’ll stay true to my authentic self and my values and no one can take this away from me 👸🏼
That’s a great list 👍
I applaud your strength and self esteem!
In a country where sex can be ordered like pizza, relationships are bound to be a mess. Any man who would leave a good woman is a fool and should be let go. Better to be happy alone than miserable along a shallow man.
Yes. The U.S. has the highest consumption of P*rn in the world.
A man is not happy with himself and where he is in life, or he doesn’t want to feel insignificant and small next to her. Weak men afraid 😧 of strong woman, they don’t want a woman who is independent free thinker, and can accomplish things without a man.
Leaving a cheating, lying abuser gave me a much better life. It took time to reinvent myself, time well spent. He expresses his regrets at being a lousy husband. His loss, my gain.
It’s a big problem they leave on an instant and girl life is changed forever 😢
If you don't have a good father figure you will never have a gpod partner. Some wounds are very very deep.
Also i feel when women give too much in relationship nowadays men feel she's desperate and they don't realise its efforts and not desperation. That's why i always feel women to hold on and let men persieve you if you feel he's the one then put efforts which are required to keep the relationship or man . Don't give too much that's his job . Let him do it .
I agree, effort can look like desperation - I think that might have been the problem in my situation. I want someone who will see the effort and value that - and me!
It took many years to stop taking all the blame. One day I came to the conclusion ( I have some ownership in the failure), we are not right for each other. I am worthy and I matter and deserve to have happiness, just not with him. It is easy to blame 100% on him; but, I allowed the behavior. So took a break and worked on be a better version of me and this time had boundaries. Rather be free and maybe lonely than to be in a relationship alone and miserable.
I would have to say, from what I've seen in my 70 years, 45 of those married to the same man, this is not from experience, is because men can't keep it in their pants, they are immature, Mid-life crisis is hitting, life is passing them by and they want to relive their youth with some hot, young chick!
That's usually the case. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
@@SaveTheMessenger You are welcome, Sir.
If he leaves a woman because she lacks 20% of what he wants the next one who has that 20% will be lacking 20% of what the first one had. That’s what John Gottman found in his 30 years of researching couples. As a couple therapist I can tell you, this guy has no idea. The people commenting here know more than he does.
That's what he said!
@@zetatheta964 My thinking too. When a person focuses on the 10-20% they don’t have, they forget and take for granted the 80-90% they do have and chase that 10-20%, only to discover they have lost a chunk of that 80-90% with someone new.
This is not difficult. Men leave good women because they like a challenge. Most of them want to "fix" women who are difficult.
It must have been quite painful to tap into those memories to make this video for us. It's not easy to watch people you love suffer. Thank you for the video and the insight. This one is appreciated for you going into the depths of your pain to help us.
It’s so true. Better off being alone than being with those men who left us.
I have had men who left because they felt inferior and not good enough. Some of these were intelligent proffessional men who felt inferior due to many diferent reasons. Too bad because I could have been able to stay by their side and help them throughout life.
I agree - some men are intimidated by strong, capable, GOOD women. Let them leave! Don't stay where you're tolerated, go where you're celebrated!
It's not always the man that leaves a woman but a strong woman who does not allow a man to break her. She cannot be with him if she has no trust, support or respect. She does not look back but moves on to a better future for herself and family.
A man treats you like he treats his mother
Thats not true ive seen many men treat their mothers good but women they throw in 5 min
I think my son's step mum is better suited for his dad than I ever was. We had loads in common yes, but they just make a better couple. I'm still single after all these years because I haven't found anyone who's better for me yet.
Alright then, just keep on going🙏
so kind a thought pray you too find someone who loves you unconditionally....
Well done for accepting that - must have been hard, but it's healthy. Wishing you all the best for your future - may you be truly appreciated!
Honesty is the best policy,I always say to my long time boyfriend if he found someone better that will make him happy it’s okay for me coz he deserves that and I deserve to be happy too.
Keeping it real. . It took me years to inderstand that love is not forever. I totally get. It. Its best to be honest
Someone once said he doesn’t marry you because he is just waiting until he finds someone better but yeah for now he hasn’t met anyone better so getting a relationship without any true cost to him like marrying you is such a bonus for him for sure.
After dating for 1, 2,3 ,4,5,6,7years the man didn't see the future That's why he leave ? Oh Gosh 😂😂 being a lady, woman, girl, lady is hard . Stay single forever 🎉
Exactly. I'm probably just going to have a baby on my own if ever!
That's why you shouldn't give any man more than 3 years of your time if no ring. The older you are, cut back to 2 years dating. No man wants a woman and putting her in GF ZONE forever. Don't give out wifey benefits without marriage. Don't wait for any man after 3 years. Youth wasted.
@@LoveLife-oo9cz7/9 months is more than enough. 2 or 3 years is a waste of Time
We have to learn to love ourselves enough and more and more. We deserve better. I don't want a man anymore 😢😢only made horrible experiences
@@LoveLife-oo9cz My parents, when they were in their 20's in the 70's just took around a year.
I'm in my 40's I'm not waiting even 2 years.
To @Senka778, thank you. That's kind of you to say. I gotta do what I gotta do. It's too frustrating to be waiting for someone who doesn't care about you and your goals. Not to mention hurtful. I may even do fostering or adoption if that stuff fails. My aunt though, she got so lucky. She and her second husband had IVF at 48 and boom at 49, they had twins! It was crazy and cool. She already had three previous children with her first husband.
"Not someone better than you"👌❤️
I was married to an abuser for 11 years, reached breaking point, left- best decision ever-that was 17 years ago❤
I wish I had seen your videos while I was with the man I broke up with after 16 years of confusing relationship. But I'm still glad I stumbled upon your channel. You present it in a simple, short, but very substantial, enlightening way. More power to you!
Men prefere bad ladies, because they can always give them a excuse to leave them. With a good, intelligente and caring lady, they just dont know how to excuse themselves to leave them; it's more difficult.
That actually makes a lot of sense. 😢
When my husband left me , I thought to myself he needs to be with a woman that is a slob , a drinker and bad mother because he sure wasn't happy with an organized, stable mother of his child , sober, drug free wife, I work full time too, business owner. It has broken my heart that our family is torn because he is so immature. After our son was born gradually he just became complacent, lazy and indifferent. I will never trust again. He broke my heart.
@@ZFern9390 I feel for you. I wish you all the best. You will get over it. Blessings for you.
Some men won’t leave you but treat you horribly that you end up leaving him.
They may not leave you but you are no where in their thoughts except they want you present to keep their life in order but have no regard for how you feel. It is better to be on your own than being lonely in a relationship
This is the cold hard truth 😢
I think the worst thing a woman does in her life is to try and think how she could keep a man in her life! If this guy wants to leave, please consider it like a stone that is going to be away from you towards success! Thank you for your explanation!
In my case, it's bevause they had NO CHOICE. After years of them ignoring me , what's important to me , things Id like us to do together, or things Id like him to do..... he had to go, I was done. Actuslly I them both the houses. I didnt want anything from them. Just my freedom - done talking to a wall. Ive been alone since 1997, traded him in for 2 pit bulls and never looked back!!!! And zi coukdnt be happier. I dont have to compromise, consider his opinion, run anything by him, its my house, my property, my SUV, my TV my furniture, my art, my flower beds, my vegetable garden, my health vs his sickness.😊😊i LOVE IT!! MY DOGS AND I ARE HAPPY 😂❤
A lot of women feel like talking with their husband is like talking to a wall! I have met older couples that enjoy their small talk and difficult discussions and they don't end up in arguments. I admire them.
I like your voice and the comment “ he found some one better for him , NOT someone better than you … important to remember …
Men leave amazing women for women that tell him how amazing he is and they validate that you’re fake and not amazing as he’s been led to believe.
This is exactly what he needs to hear about you to feel good about himself.
Wait... what?
I dated a guy in his mid 30s for 2,5 months earlier this year, then broke up with the me because he felt overwhelmed. 4 months go by and he reaches out. I asked him what he wants, he said he was now ready to date seriously and looking for something longterm. I was careful and continued dating other men. After 2.5months of consistent dating but no intimacy yet, he asks if we can become intimate and I say we can if we exclusively do so with each other for safety. he breaks it up again because he is not ready for something committed or monogamous.
I am so glad he now showed his pattern and that I continued dating other men so I can easily shift my focus on them. Please keep dating other men ladies, it protects your heart!
That's actually a good strategy. Many women just feel that when you're talking to different men, you need to be intimate with all of them. I always say you can go out and have a nice date, and just get to know each other better.
I really love your videos and that one reason men would leave a good woman is absolutely the same , that women would leave a good man... Well believe that we deserve something better and after a while all relationships come to the point that we wonder "Is this really the best, I can do?"...
I’m 68 and I think I have had all these things happen to me in my past relationships. It really helps if they have the kindness to be honest even if it feels crushing at the time. We must be honest with each other and not play games. Everyone wants to be cared about, loved and desired. I know that I only found my true love after I let go and just enjoyed my life as it was. He was a man I admired greatly and I was so blessed to be his wife. He died much too young and I miss him these 30 years on. Be patient and remember what this man Ismael says, write it down. It’s true.
@@Wait4me2 I don’t I have had enough pain I have embraced my solitude and feel very content
This video just right on time. I need this 😭
Thankyouu so so so so muchhh Ismael 🙏🏻
He found a woman who’s going to put up with his crap. I’m holding him accountable and I ain’t accepting nothing less than what I deserve and want. 🤷🏽♀️ I’m not changing no one. I’m leaving you and letting go periodt. Immature behavior is the worse. I enjoyed your video. This was helpful to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts
If that "better outcome" is a younger woman, guess what: that woman is gonna get old too.
It doesn't matter. Let them go to their younger woman who will eventually be old, too. Who cares? Go find you a younger man! 😉🥰
@@annehedonia156 I took your advice!
"He found someone better for him?.." or he found someone immature like him?
Relationship shouldn't ever be forced. No one should be forced to continue staying in a struggling relationship. Just be bold enough to walk away for your peace and joy.
Thank you , Ismail. You have no idea how inspiring and useful your videos are!
While he can phrase things in this way, there most certainly are other/deeper reasons that a man might leave a good woman. One of the biggest reasons he could leave someone is that he feels inadequate. You can't satisfy a person like that.
This young man lacks a mature understanding. He is listing excuses for the men, telling women if only they were different he wouldn't leave you. This is why real psychologists are required to do therapy, so they don't bs themselves.
I told my boyfriend of 76 years young to grow up! He tried, and died at 78. I felt proud of him and he apologized at the end for acting so immature.
That's quite a story. Thanks for sharing.
@@SaveTheMessenger it's true, I was 20 years younger than him.
0:31 you give me full chills like Goosebumps all over like you are such an angel thank you. I am having an EMDR for over a year and I've been through DBT as well what you're doing here is bordering on Angelic thank you. This is nexf level healing. I trust the process.
That's very sweet of you. Thank you, Amy.
@@SaveTheMessenger You are truly a kind person.
My ex left me for my bf, and she was a 20... jealousy and insecurity split them up in 2 yrs...She just wanted money and my life style...It didnt work out bc she didnt want to work or cook..They ran the business into the ground and closed everything..He came back asking for a second chance.. He remarried 3 times and came back after each... had kids with the last one and now getting divorced and currently has a gf with 2 boys that are adorable...i appove of this girl...she reminds me of myself...i hope he doesnt mess this up...i forgave him long ago but will never take any man back that cheats..Wish him the best, hes gonna need it with this divorce...
Modern dating: “Everything is the other person’s fault!”
“Is anything your fault?”
*“NO!!!”*
Matchmakers & dating coaches: [rage quit]
I think in many ways I've pushed the good men in my life away. I've never felt worthy. I've had rheumatoid arthritis since I was a baby and it's always been a dark cloud over my relationships. I chose to not have children because of it for fear of passing it on to them so it's been hard to have a fully traditional relationship. Aside from that, being disabled and needing a caretaker would make me a huge burden. None of those things have ever sat right with me. I feel like it's just better not to inflict myself on a good man. I want to be able to give things in a relationship that I'm no longer able to, or was never able to give.
BRILLIANT! Thank you, Ismael! ❤
The grass is always greener on the other side. Mutual respect and having the same values…..and true love will keep a couple together. I have been with the love of my life for 30 yrs, and it’s give and take. Not just about fulfilling one’s needs. It’s a two way street or he is high maintenance and when he walks it’s a sigh of relief.
I married a guy who loved me for years. Then he stopped. He got ill, couldnt perform, retired, made less money. Then after a lovely joyful week with a much beloved family member, asked me for a divorce. 25 years of marriage. Me carrying the financial load. I said sure.
He does still love you thats why he left
If she is stronger, more motivayed, more intelligent he may feel inferior in some ways , then he will try to bring her down and eventually he will leave for a weaker woman to boost his self confidence.🙏
Not to hate men...yes ..but after using what is the value of women? I mean I am not an old phone...I saw it once in my life. my husband needed to walk away, he lived in another country with another woman. he repented. I knew after his death. Now what? That should happen! There is a God who is watching our actions.
During our divorce, my ex started seeing a woman, and finally moved out. About 3 months in, they hit a hard patch, I sat her down for about 3 hours, giving her every reason to hold on to him. 10 years later, that are still together. I didn't mention his narcissism to her, mostly because I really didn't want him back. Major course correction for me, my castle is surrounded by a food forest, vineyard and berry patches, that I planted myself. This was always my dream, he used to mock me about it. Letting go changed my life.
Basically, in life, if you're a good person you're gonna have bad times for sure. I learnt that the hard way. I'm still good at essence, but I try to be a little selfish and it works for me.
i feel the 80/20 rule a lot because the guy kept asking for things that I couldn't do such as meeting more often but when he got into a college i think he found someone and thought "oh i can be with her everyday", he texted me back saying im the coolest girl he met and he wants to start it all over again, this just proves it lol
idk what to do now tho :/
Just move on and enjoy your single life until you meet someone that value and accept your life 😊
Thank you ssoo much because i was really confused why my bf left me but now i know that he left me because he saw me as a new phone🤷♀️
I say let them leave, most of the time, they regret, but are too ashamed to come back.
Thank You!! this was very honest and finally something really helpful . No more a victim mentality ..or wondering about milion reasons....it is just how life works.
No more victim mentality 💪
A lot of those reasons are still shitty how ever they want to justify it. However, at the end of the day, I can only control myself so..
And with that said, I believe ego/pride has no room in true love.
Let them leave…not the right man for you…the right man will not abandon you
I’m with you on that.
Men and women that leave a good marriage almost always seem to need a crutch (affair) which is the 20% fulfillment. Once they're fully exited they come to realize they don't need the crutch anymore but it's too late to regain what they had. I really hate it that people generally don't exit on fair grounds without the advantage ( a soft shoulder to fall on) in their court. Don't be selfish and think of only yourself. You are leaving a whole village behind with more than one person hurting. If you want to exit, have a mature talk and only exit when you are 100% single and then you will know that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Leaving for someone else can turn your emotions inside out when all it was was an illusion and you are left standing alone. Be honest with your mate and come to a conclusion just between the two of you. Nothing wrong with leaving but don't do it for a 3rd person ever.
Thanks God. I've already heal from all my pain and bleeding as well. And now, God replace it with calm husband and kind man come to my life. After the rain , the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain , the joy will still be here.
It’s heartwarming to see how you've transformed your pain into peace and joy, embracing the love and calm that now fill your life.
I truly appreciate your videos-they are both educational and motivational.
Your content is insightful and inspiring ❤
I really think you might be my favorite relationship coach I've seen on UA-cam thus far. I find myself understanding concepts so well the way you put them, and you provide a really nuanced take. Thanks for all your hard work, and for sharing with us!
Thank you so much for your kind words-it means the world to know that my work resonates with you and helps you understand these concepts more deeply!
Thank you for being honest. I’m a world full of people who lie to women, it’s refreshing to hear the truth being told, even if it’s hard
As long as you find peace in knowing the truth. That's all that matters.