Thank you Ismaël for your valuable advice. You're doing a remarkable job for relationships between men and women. I have an indiscreet question: is your heart still up for grabs? (female curiosity).
" detachment" means being dumped or dumping someone....cutting off a negative person involves blocking them on phone and aocial nedia and sont look back ..being a heartless selfish bitch is very attractive
A “friend” of my daughter told he he didn’t want a romantic relationship. So she moved on, now he is leaving flowers and love poems and begging on his knees for a second chance. Nope, he had a chance but decided to play games.
My husband and I never played such games. We're best friends. From the time we became romantic we hsve been together. He's very giving and loving. No games needed. Build a solid foundation.
I agree as I am one of them. It is hard to make me think about someone as I have already seen so many hurdles in life and neglected myself for many things. Edit : I ran charity too while neglecting myself. Am I a people pleaser?
Facts! Every time I detach all of a sudden I am chased like no one’s business…stay busy, work on yourself, find hobbies…men love that shit. Stop being clingy ladies and love yourself
Nope it doesn't mean he loves you being clingy or busy doesn't matter...it means he only talks to you when he wants something and he doesn't want you but when you pull away that's when he's like no wait come here...I learned that the hard way
unfortunately it is not true, they dont like independent women. They expect you to be clingy. If you are not, they take it personally...and become upset. And also they like less inteligent women....
If a man wants a woman to detach it usually means his attachment style is not healthy. Humans are supposed to be attached (in healthy ways). It’s about forming a healthy attachment. Waiting until someone moves in order to feel love for them is more about your ego and need for validation.
I really agree with this. I think it is healthy to admit that you need relationships and human connection with people other than yourself. I think the fine line is when it comes to the point of unhealthy obsession. No innate need or desire should ever turn into an obsession where you forget your true purpose of life and existence.
Exactly. Men like this often have a more avoidant attachment style and are usually emotionally immature/unavailable. A healthy, secure man will not behave in such a way and would never want you to deatch. We ALL need connection, relationships, and healthy, normal attachment. It's only human to want, need, and desire such things.
Everything you said is so true, at the end of the day you attract what you are, and you’ll attract more things in life when you stop putting too much emphasis and care and you just let things be the way it is and put your trust in god and focusing on your self.
Thank you, I’m glad it resonated with you. It’s amazing how much can change when we let go and focus on ourselves. Trusting in the process really does make all the difference.
I agree with you. The best way is to become best friends first and then wait for his proposal. If there is no ring, there is nothing. The childish boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is a waste of time
I think men need to know a few things about women. If you don’t recognize and see our value from the get go, you don’t deserve us. It’s really kind of sad. And I’ve walked away from men who don’t see me. And I’m awesome and beautiful inside and out. They always circle back around but it’s too late. A woman loses interest. All the flowers and apologies in the world after a point mean nothing. Men have windows of opportunities to show who they are. That’s why women leave men. We’re patient to a point.
Agree! Best Advice: A man must learn that he only has a window of opportunity to show who he is...after that the window does not open again. I feel bad for men who don't understand this.
@@MS-br3irYet the exact opposite occurs within the reality of human interaction. Men who are indecisive during the initial mutual attraction phase literally lose their opportunity. It's innate and human nature for the female to shut that down and not return. The next man gets the opportunity with her and could be a great guy. The men who try to return to that initial beginning phase, where they previously stalled, have a slim to zero chance of getting that opportunity again. #humannature #femalebrain
But you said see our value from a get go, who sees that right away? That is a crazy expectation that lots of women have! I have never seen any humans value from the get go. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It takes a little time to know if you want to invest in someone, wish women would think like that, instead of asking everything from a man right away, we would be smarter with out choices. Why do women not take their time to see what is going on, or if we want to invest? It is normal to do that.
I understand your point, but why do we need to play games in relationships? Don't smother someone in the beginning but I'm walking away from power games.
There's always people like you. People can always be the healthiest but still want space. And you should want your space naturally. Not feel like you're playing games. If you want to disrespect yourself by checking your notifications every 30 seconds you can do that too. Respecting yourself doesn't mean playing games with other.
I used to be very anxiously attached, and I chased people a lot, but then I did exactly as you said because I was tired of doing it and it wasn't working. Now I have a lot of men that are interested in me, and women too. But now I sort of have the polar opposite problem where I'm more avoidant. I attract people, sure but no one I'm really interested in getting to know. I don't know if this is self sabotage on my part or if the right person just hasn't come along yet.
@@sararamos1604 Oh I'm like 95% sure that I have a fearful avoidant attachment style lol. I'm currently doing EMDR with my therapist to hopefully help treat it.
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
I detached ftom someone after knowing him for a few months. I was not looking for anything when we met, I was happily single but he approached me and i decided to get to know him. We had intimate encounters and they were fun, but he i started noticing things i did not like. I finally stopped seeing him abruptly and he was shocked. He told me I just dropped him and that I am something else. I have no interest in him yet he keeps texting trying to see me. Telling me he hopes to see me soon to go to dinner. I can take myself to dinner. When i was seeing him, he played games. He did not think i would detach and walk away. Now he is chasing me and wants to be different. Sadly i have no interest. I was not looking for anything before I met him, and after meeting him I am enjoying being single even more. I like doing things alone and being single. I have peace in my life and will not let anyone disturb that. I do wish him well.
As a relationships coach you should know that its not about women chasing men. Its about women CHOOSING and being attracted to men who needs to be chased. Because when those same women are around men who are present - they dont need to chase them, and they become secure. The solution is not to stop chasing some man. The solution is to start paying attention to a different type of men, which will feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, inner work, and awareness it will be possible to shift your focus on men who dont need to be chased. I promise you.
I love when people who are happily married watch videos like this only to comment and tell us how much this never happened to them… wow, they must be a better person for sure, right? 😮
"Anything u put on a pedestal will always b out of yo reach". It's like our relationship with God. He is the only one we should put on a pedestal. "Thou shall not have other idols before me". Great wisdom.
Great vid. The only person I have control over is myself. I hope I never again in my life depend on someone else for my own happiness. A hard lesson. I think a confident woman with her own hobbies and interests is very attractive to men; we’re not hanging around waiting for a call/text. No game playing. It’s not letting someone else’s actions control your moods and emotions.
Thanks for watching, and I appreciate your comment. It’s so true-the only person we can control is ourselves, and depending on others for happiness only leads to frustration. A confident woman with her own life is definitely attractive, and having that sense of independence is key to maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.
I noticed that, the moment I started setting boundaries with guys, and learned to be secure within myself is when they started to chase even more. When I don’t give them any control over my emotions. Men are natural hunters.
I actually realised THIS when I was teenager, not in your words but how I should think and how I should behave. And it's exactly what you're saying. So really congrats because there are so many people who don't get this true at all. ❤🎉
Thanks so much. I feel like detachement is my hardest lesson. I really struggle to balance being engaged and wanting this one special person while being cool at the same time without having this person at my side as a partner. I would appreciate it, if you would keep making videos about detachment and letting go. Thanks so much!
@@SaveTheMessenger Thanks for replying. Well, lets start with the inner values: he is a colleague of mine and since three years we work together, so I came to know him a bit. The things I noticed from his character: 1. I never heard him talking bad behind the back of others. 2. He never blames others for his mistakes, he takes responsibility. 3. He is kind to everyone, he treats the cleaner in the same way like he treats the boss. 4. He is diligent and does not avoid tasks. 4. He criticizes people openly and at the same time respectfully. 5. He is kind and confident (which is rare). 6. He is passionate about his hobbies. 7. He does not seek validation through social media (he has no IG, Facebook, etc.) and now we come to the superficial stuff, but this is also important: 8. I like the sound of his voice. 9. I love his laugh. 10. He has a great taste in style. 11. He is very good looking. Tall, great smile, open eyes and the most beautiful nose I have seen so far. You see: he is my kryptonite.
I think problem with that is that we idolise a person. In our heads we already knew how he is great and how great it would be is together but that's our imagination. We can also imagine so many bad things as well but we don't. To me it really helped to imagine bad things that can be in his character, just like I already imagined good. Yes it's hard but you must do it. And yes he only showed good things but that's just mask, you don't know him on his bad day or when he is close to someone. Just literally imagine bad things about him, something that would bother you very much, and start to believe in it. And now you are changed your energy and he is chasing you. Suddenly you become so interesting to him. You will see.
@@lucyk2634 Thanks for your reply and your advise! Well, since we work together I would say, that I know him on his bad days when things go wrong and when he is stressed out. But you are right - I noticed all this good things, but there are also some bad one. Like he is a bit of a horder and chaotic. Maybe you are right and I should bring his not so good qualities to the spotlight.
Being self sufficient and taking care of yourself is really important. And, if a guy doesn't want to spend time or energy on me, if I detach it's for good. I mean honestly, if this is how men are a whole, I'm not interested anymore. I enjoy my peace and giving to those who give back because they love and cherish me. I don't want to play games or pretend I'm not interested in someone, it's boring and sad.
I'd be careful with the bold assumption that a complete lack of attachement is attractive.If a man is willing to accept and finds this attitude is desirable, the lady might as well have other sexual partners simultaneously. If a lack of commitment is attractive to a man, he's either not interested or lacks character. It should be obvious to a man that, for a woman, love equals closeness. If she's detached, that might seem attractive to him, but only, because he doesn't understand women. She's either not really interested or is a potential cheater, which means, she has low moral standards and isn't faithful. That's fine for a playboy, who's looking for a party girl, but not for a man, who wants to get married. She might as well dumb him quickly, if she has found a better option.
This video is talking about attachments to outcomes, not attachments to commitments or other people. It's letting go of the expectation of specific responses because you're already satisfied with the work that you put into something. You did the thing because _you_ wanted to, not because you wanted him to praise you for it, as an example. I recently sent a video to a guy I'm seeing and the day he said he would look at it, he didn't mention anything about it at all. Nothing positive or negative. But I don't care about his lack of response, because I'm content with the work that I put into it and wanted to share it with him regardless of how he would respond to it. I detached myself from the expectation of any specific response. It's on him now to let me know if he didn't appreciate it. And if he never says he actually did appreciate it, that's on him, too.
It just means that they are attracted to someone who can walk away if they aren’t getting what they need, instead of hanging out in hopes he comes around.
A woman will decide she wants a man and treats him well, a man's brain goes oh I have her, she detaches because she feels unloved, he takes her for granted. Men think oh I can win her back, she's playing games, not realising they have done the damage she doesn't want him back. They then say I can't trust women 😂
I’m a dismissive avoidant aka a master at detachment. I think it works because men haven’t asked me out or noticed me. I’ll keep it up because it’s natural and I love my alone time. I’m 40 next year and glad it’s working to keep the murderers I accidentally know away.
Thank you. When builders focus on their goals, they naturally attract opportunities rather than chasing after them. It’s all about prioritizing what truly matters and letting the right things come to you.
You are your own source of all things. It come thru you, and magnetize more not chase more. no reason to be detached you have everything you need and can create what you dont. Being in joyful states of being will help your actions be clear.Believe in yourself focus inward and adore and honor. all is well. All about you while being kind and respectful.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Dear Ismael, have to give you a lot of admiration and thanks for being a great guy that has chosen to help women to find and keep a good candidate! Congratulations! You are awesome.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate your support and am glad to help women navigate their journeys. It means a lot to hear that my efforts are making a difference.
I definitely go cold and don’t text thinking oh, I’m giving him space, I am detaching. Then I say well he’s not texting me so it wasn’t meant to be. I think I forget to do part one and try to make a relationship work. I just go to step two of moving on from something that didn’t seem like it was working.
I give 3 invitations. If they are all ignored, refused, or otherwise dismissed...I move on. This applies to friends & potential partners. I have better things to do than be around people who don't appreciate me.
I've watched almost all your videos in row, in a very confused state of mind my current relationship has brought me into. You are a gamechanger with your clear, straightforward statements and insights. Thank you! 💐 Your inspiration brought me back to myself ... and to realizing the major mistakes I've made lately in this relationship. Warm greetings from Berlin!
1:59 Anything you chase will run 🏃♂️ from you anything you cling 🫂 to will seek to get out of your grasp anything you put on a pedestal 🏆will always be out of your reach 2:10 this is why detachment is the key 🔑 to getting anything you want
Thank you so much. truly appreciate the support. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful for everyone who’s been a part of it. Here's to even more growth together.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you found it valuable. It's important to share insights that can empower everyone, and I appreciate your support.
Hi Ismael, I just wanted to thank you for this eye-opening video. It came at a time when I was really struggling to detach from someone I’ve known for a long time. To give you some context, I recently reconnected (in university) with a close friend from middle school, and we went through some difficult times together. Over time, our relationship grew from a platonic friendship into something more romantic. But despite the feelings we both had, he’s not ready to commit, and that’s been really hard for me. I find it so difficult to detach emotionally because, for me, he’s not just a romantic interest, but also a friend. Letting go of that connection has felt impossible, even though I know I need to for my own peace of mind. Your video helped me realize that detachment isn’t about cutting someone off or shutting down emotionally-it’s about recognizing what I can control and what I can't. I’m starting to understand that I don’t need to hold onto something that isn't moving forward, and I can still respect myself and my emotions in the process. Thank you so much for your advice-it’s helping me come to terms with this situation and start focusing on my own well-being. I truly appreciate you sharing your wisdom and helping me see things from a new perspective.
oh God the first minute - coming from a date (yesterday) where the man was love-bombing to the point that i still feel suffocated today. It's horrible to not get enough space. Flight instinct
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support from the beginning. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.
woah. you reached over 100k so fast. i remember being here when you had 7,000 subscribers; and that was only four months ago. everything’s just working out in your favor, huh?😅 happy to see ur success. keep it going.
Ismael, that was the best video I have ever seen on detachment. I truly understand it now and will put your tips to use as I focus on my inputs!! Fantastic, Ty 😊
I practice detachment as a spiritual practice, and he’s right, this speaks volumes without me saying nothing. I try to find inner “completeness” that’s reliant on no one. As a result, I’m not trying too hard or trying to get a result from anyone, I’m simply trying to enjoy myself and my life - and it seems without even trying, while I’m not that physically attractive, people are drawn to me. It’s crazy but even in this lost world, we are all seeking spiritual beauty in others. I think trying too hard smells like desperation but it also screams insecurity. All turn offs, for anyone. It says “I’m not confident in my ability to survive and cope with life.” We enjoy confidence because it speaks to the ability and confidence to survive - and we respect resilience and self-sufficiency over needy people who will burden us. We are primates after all
Not everyone that highly values companionship feels like an incomplete person alone. Sometimes you're so complete you want to share! At the same time there are certain things only the right person can fulfill
As always, another wonderful video dropped by you ❤ Can you please make a video on how to deal with male ego? I suppose women more or less have encountered it at some point of their life.
Men are so complicated 😢 In contact with a person i met online for some months now and been in an emotional turmoil ever since,I so like him but so tired of the uncertainty.
The only thing that doesn't run away when you cling is Jesus Christ. Cling your heart out! He is the ONLY one who will complete/fulfill all your dreams. The first importance in a man is his relationship with Christ, the closer you each are to Christ the closer you can be to each other. Stop looking to a man to be your all, your #1. That is Christ's place.
Thank you for your support. I’m glad the videos resonate with you, and it’s great to hear you’re finding value in both the new tips and the refreshers.
Ismael, I am so happy to have a subscription to this channel. Not only you have such a comforting voice - yeah, those vocal coachings DID pay off! - but you put YOURSELF and your life stories in the videos. I really enjoyed your examples of how this laws of detachmet worked for you. And I have a little follow-up question: you speak a lot about how multitasking is bad. I know that, I've heard that it just fills you up with too much adrenaline and gives you more drama in your life. But ... I am a working mom and if I didn't multitask, I probably wouldn't get anything done ... Do you by any chance have an advice on that..? Otherwise, keep making excellent videos! Love from Slovenia, Europe.
This was the God send video - I’ve been trying to find something real and practical I actually felt a lift once o understood this - I’ve been wanting to detach
I finally figured out how to do this. He actually respected me enough to tell me he is still there but he explained to me a method to understand how to stop "obsessing" over what others think about me, obsessing over rejection that is or isn't there. God Bless people like him and the guy in this video. I sincerely wish to God someone taught me these things. Any way I can make myself healthier on any level is the way I want to go in life. I'm 44 and I am forever a life-learner.
The challenging part is when you carry complex trauma and/or are turning 40 and still haven't found that special partner to buy a house with or father to your child, then you start getting quite stressed about finding him.
Basically, let go of your attachment to wanting these outcomes, and these outcomes will come to you. Focus on yourself and being the type of person _you_ would want to be with. Try to heal what you can and learn to love yourself above anyone else. This will attract the right kind of people who will want to be in your orbit. It's a journey. It takes time.
I have figured out how to be in relationship.. I will fulfill all my obligations toward my partner but in return I will expect nothing My own self will be my love and focus on improving myself every day This is how I will spend my married life
Thank you for your wonderful message. I truly appreciate your support and positive energy. It means a lot to me and everyone in our community. Sending love and good vibes back to you.
I've learned to get better at detatching and also giving the man his cave time. I might feel a bit crazy for a min then I detatch. I get on with my business. I give it time but if i do wanna check on him, I do but I don't keep checking if he's non responsive. Let him move at his pace. I'll still live my life at mine. I don't chase but I do express myself authentically too. I get a little obsessed for like a day but I'm learning to manage that hormonal crazy stuff. I've also learned to turn down invites if I'm not up to it even though a part of me might still think in scarcity terms. Even without words, the energy of scarcity in one is a turn off for the other. I trust God to deliver what I need in training. Thanks for video
My own experience, total detachment doesn't work on guys that are insecure and lack in self-esteem, they just think the detached women are too 'high up' for them, so they give up and go look for easier targets, which are readily available any way. I'm a woman.
@@jlady1595 I didn't say I want to, but, there's plenty out there, especially the young ones. Apparently, the right woman can take away a guy's insecurity and lack of self-esteem. That's just my general observation.
So ecstatic for you reaching 100K plus subscribers. My very first comment ever was how don't you already have 1 mil subs. Looking forward to you reaching that milestone. As always another insightful video . I appreciate you.
My client recently said today “men actually like the silent treatment gives us space to do what ever we want.” Appreciation comes in balance with and without
But we’ll throw you men in the friend zone. Knowing we want nothing more than friendship. And we’ll talk your ear off about our latest love interests. 😊
Really, finding love is down to luck. I don’t chase. If a man pulls away, I leave him be until he comes back. Meanwhile, I internalise everything and cry when I’m on my own. I tend to detach from the outcome as well. I don’t play games. I’m too old for that. I have a friend who always finds relationships easily. She doesn’t need to detach because the guys she dates don’t play games, and they’re present in the dating stage. And they commit. Game playing is a sign of avoidant or anxious attachment styles, and/or immaturity. I’m not here for it.
Maybe that’s why I got guys chasing me, cause I don’t emotionally attach myself until at least a year later of getting to know them. Most of the time they end up showing their true colors to me once their comfortable and show me they aren’t worth my time. That’s when they realize I’m not playing around and regret it 😂
I would like to share some words from the book Fidelity - How to create a loving relationship that lasts by Thich Nhat Hanh: When we love someone, we should look deeply into the nature of that love. True love doesn't contain suffering or attachment. It brings well-being to ourselves and others. True love is generated from within. With true love, you feel complete in yourself; you don't need something from outside. True love is like the sun, shining with its own light, and offering that light to everyone.
Saying yes when asked out on a date, seems to be showing enough interest to get ghosted. I’ve said yes, then I wait to get a call or message with the chat and plan for the date, but these men disappeared forever. Why bother to ask ? 😂 I know I know, it was just for them to see if I would, and their interest waned and the chase was over when they knew I liked them enough to say yes. I gave up saying yes, as about 50 times in a row, (asked out about 50 times in 5yrs) I said yes, and no date ever happened.
@@Lele-nr3fq I know it’s happened to lots of other women too, over years. It’s a bizarre situation and I’d love to ask men why they ask, then ghost after she says yes. All could figure out was that they wanted to know if they could, and weren’t actually interested, it was just a test to boost their own ego.
Thanks to all of you that have subscribed to my channel.
It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Thank you Ismaël for your valuable advice. You're doing a remarkable job for relationships between men and women. I have an indiscreet question: is your heart still up for grabs? (female curiosity).
" detachment" means being dumped or dumping someone....cutting off a negative person involves blocking them on phone and aocial nedia and sont look back ..being a heartless selfish bitch is very attractive
good advice, thanks for sharing and cogratulations on your 100 K plaque.
The more I learn about what men want, the less I want a man. It's like an exhausting game.
Tye more i know . The more i work on achieving my goal. U are true. Its a exhausting job
😂😂😂😂
Yeah right
Point. Why this mind games. Either you stay or you don't
Yeah I’m damn near opting out
A “friend” of my daughter told he he didn’t want a romantic relationship. So she moved on, now he is leaving flowers and love poems and begging on his knees for a second chance. Nope, he had a chance but decided to play games.
The definition of having high standards. Good for her.
👏👏👏
I'm glad. What an imbecilie.
In losing her, he made himself a loser.
Good
👏👏👏
My husband and I never played such games. We're best friends. From the time we became romantic we hsve been together. He's very giving and loving. No games needed. Build a solid foundation.
❤
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Best comment 👑
I'm happy you have that. There's still hope. ❤
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The 'Quick Tip' quote "People who avoid their own feelings, WILL neglect yours" was a revelation for me. Tysm for this video!
I’m glad that quote resonated with you. It’s a powerful reminder about the importance of emotional awareness in relationships.
Isn't that what a people pleaser is? They self sacrifice for everyone else.
I agree as I am one of them. It is hard to make me think about someone as I have already seen so many hurdles in life and neglected myself for many things.
Edit : I ran charity too while neglecting myself. Am I a people pleaser?
That was a stop in my tracks comme t. Thnks@@SaveTheMessenger
amen.
Facts! Every time I detach all of a sudden I am chased like no one’s business…stay busy, work on yourself, find hobbies…men love that shit. Stop being clingy ladies and love yourself
Get a therapist
Nope it doesn't mean he loves you being clingy or busy doesn't matter...it means he only talks to you when he wants something and he doesn't want you but when you pull away that's when he's like no wait come here...I learned that the hard way
He attached to a man. He wanted a woman for a friend. Please learn the truth about detachment reasons.
unfortunately it is not true, they dont like independent women. They expect you to be clingy. If you are not, they take it personally...and become upset. And also they like less inteligent women....
Yes men go crazy when u start doing the things u love and caring her yourself it’s like they want to take ur freedom away or something
How strange!Men want care and loyalty.but when they are given immense love and care they start taking for granted and gets irritated.
Actually very strange!
100
They crave scarcity. Never make him believe he has you 100%
No women do! Men want s*x.
Yes it's weird.
If a man wants a woman to detach it usually means his attachment style is not healthy. Humans are supposed to be attached (in healthy ways). It’s about forming a healthy attachment. Waiting until someone moves in order to feel love for them is more about your ego and need for validation.
100% true. Only toxic people think in this way
I really agree with this. I think it is healthy to admit that you need relationships and human connection with people other than yourself. I think the fine line is when it comes to the point of unhealthy obsession. No innate need or desire should ever turn into an obsession where you forget your true purpose of life and existence.
Exactly. Men like this often have a more avoidant attachment style and are usually emotionally immature/unavailable. A healthy, secure man will not behave in such a way and would never want you to deatch. We ALL need connection, relationships, and healthy, normal attachment. It's only human to want, need, and desire such things.
“Stop needing and start BECOMING” BEST QUOTE OF THE YEAR! 💪🏽🏆
Hope that insight serves you well.
Everything you said is so true, at the end of the day you attract what you are, and you’ll attract more things in life when you stop putting too much emphasis and care and you just let things be the way it is and put your trust in god and focusing on your self.
Exactly 👌❤️
Amen 🙏🏻
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Thank you, I’m glad it resonated with you. It’s amazing how much can change when we let go and focus on ourselves. Trusting in the process really does make all the difference.
So true. I'm trying to let go of my need for my children's approval. Having a tough time doing it 😢
It’s detaching by knowing that you will be okay without them. Living your own life. Not being unemotional… this guy is finally explaining everything
Or he's tricking you to be his f buddy come on
Exactly!
Modern dating: The games are exhausting. The expectations are disgusting. Old fashioned companionship, friendship, romance is the way to go.
I agree with you. The best way is to become best friends first and then wait for his proposal. If there is no ring, there is nothing. The childish boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is a waste of time
@@shalimar29100%
They simply want what they cannot have. When you’re available, there’s no challenge.
I’m not sure why some men need a challenge so badly. If you have a good woman that wants you, why can’t that be enough?!
Yes better find challenges in career and personal growth@@ariyonnathebeautifulariese4104
@@ariyonnathebeautifulariese4104 if you find out the answer to that, let me know!
@@ariyonnathebeautifulariese4104Strange right? But maby they need more adventures with their woman.
So that's why the woman should do her own stuff still, even if she is in a relationship.
I think men need to know a few things about women.
If you don’t recognize and see our value from the get go, you don’t deserve us. It’s really kind of sad. And I’ve walked away from men who don’t see me. And I’m awesome and beautiful inside and out. They always circle back around but it’s too late. A woman loses interest. All the flowers and apologies in the world after a point mean nothing.
Men have windows of opportunities to show who they are. That’s why women leave men. We’re patient to a point.
Agree! Best Advice: A man must learn that he only has a window of opportunity to show who he is...after that the window does not open again. I feel bad for men who don't understand this.
Preach sister! ❤🤦🏽♀️
@@MS-br3irYet the exact opposite occurs within the reality of human interaction. Men who are indecisive during the initial mutual attraction phase literally lose their opportunity. It's innate and human nature for the female to shut that down and not return. The next man gets the opportunity with her and could be a great guy. The men who try to return to that initial beginning phase, where they previously stalled, have a slim to zero chance of getting that opportunity again. #humannature #femalebrain
That’s not what I was saying. Of course it takes time. I meant when enough time was spent then if he doesn’t see your value, walk away
But you said see our value from a get go, who sees that right away? That is a crazy expectation that lots of women have! I have never seen any humans value from the get go. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It takes a little time to know if you want to invest in someone, wish women would think like that, instead of asking everything from a man right away, we would be smarter with out choices. Why do women not take their time to see what is going on, or if we want to invest? It is normal to do that.
I understand your point, but why do we need to play games in relationships? Don't smother someone in the beginning but I'm walking away from power games.
if you feel like you are playing games, you are not detached
I didn't feel like he was talking about playing games, but more about not being attached to an unhealthy degree
There's always people like you. People can always be the healthiest but still want space. And you should want your space naturally. Not feel like you're playing games. If you want to disrespect yourself by checking your notifications every 30 seconds you can do that too. Respecting yourself doesn't mean playing games with other.
I know it feels like that ..I felt the same way you feeling now..but with time ..I got it ..don’t wait till you get it !!
@@Ms_nazahow did you get it? What clicked? Can you give an example 🙏🏽
I wrote a book about this. In a marriage, you have to continue to be your own person. Clinging will naturally push your partner away.
I detached and he disappeared never to be heard from again😂🥴
He may not have actually liked you. he might have just enjoyed the ego boost? Idk
Its true
Same lol
😂😂😂😂 his rejection is yoir protection
😂😂😂😂😂. Same here
I used to be very anxiously attached, and I chased people a lot, but then I did exactly as you said because I was tired of doing it and it wasn't working. Now I have a lot of men that are interested in me, and women too. But now I sort of have the polar opposite problem where I'm more avoidant. I attract people, sure but no one I'm really interested in getting to know. I don't know if this is self sabotage on my part or if the right person just hasn't come along yet.
Could be a bit of both
The right person has not come along. Trust God, stay on ur path of self improvement and keep it moving. God will reveal His will in ur life :)
Maybe you have fearful avoidant connection style … check it out
@@sararamos1604 Oh I'm like 95% sure that I have a fearful avoidant attachment style lol. I'm currently doing EMDR with my therapist to hopefully help treat it.
Right person hasn’t come along your way yet
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you.
I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
I promise you will not regret it.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
I detached ftom someone after knowing him for a few months. I was not looking for anything when we met, I was happily single but he approached me and i decided to get to know him. We had intimate encounters and they were fun, but he i started noticing things i did not like. I finally stopped seeing him abruptly and he was shocked. He told me I just dropped him and that I am something else. I have no interest in him yet he keeps texting trying to see me. Telling me he hopes to see me soon to go to dinner. I can take myself to dinner. When i was seeing him, he played games. He did not think i would detach and walk away. Now he is chasing me and wants to be different. Sadly i have no interest. I was not looking for anything before I met him, and after meeting him I am enjoying being single even more. I like doing things alone and being single. I have peace in my life and will not let anyone disturb that. I do wish him well.
As a relationships coach you should know that its not about women chasing men. Its about women CHOOSING and being attracted to men who needs to be chased. Because when those same women are around men who are present - they dont need to chase them, and they become secure. The solution is not to stop chasing some man. The solution is to start paying attention to a different type of men, which will feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, inner work, and awareness it will be possible to shift your focus on men who dont need to be chased. I promise you.
I love when people who are happily married watch videos like this only to comment and tell us how much this never happened to them… wow, they must be a better person for sure, right? 😮
"Anything u put on a pedestal will always b out of yo reach". It's like our relationship with God. He is the only one we should put on a pedestal. "Thou shall not have other idols before me". Great wisdom.
Staying engaged without feeling the specific need for an outcome. That's good. I'm gonna do this ❤
Me tooooo
Great vid. The only person I have control over is myself. I hope I never again in my life depend on someone else for my own happiness. A hard lesson.
I think a confident woman with her own hobbies and interests is very attractive to men; we’re not hanging around waiting for a call/text. No game playing. It’s not letting someone else’s actions control your moods and emotions.
Thanks for watching, and I appreciate your comment. It’s so true-the only person we can control is ourselves, and depending on others for happiness only leads to frustration. A confident woman with her own life is definitely attractive, and having that sense of independence is key to maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.
Great way to put it. ",Not letting someone control your actions."
2:16 she really nailed it with those 3 principles 😮😮😮 chase, run, cling, squirm, pedestal, unreachable 😮😮😮
I noticed that, the moment I started setting boundaries with guys, and learned to be secure within myself is when they started to chase even more. When I don’t give them any control over my emotions. Men are natural hunters.
I actually realised THIS when I was teenager, not in your words but how I should think and how I should behave. And it's exactly what you're saying. So really congrats because there are so many people who don't get this true at all. ❤🎉
Thanks so much. I feel like detachement is my hardest lesson. I really struggle to balance being engaged and wanting this one special person while being cool at the same time without having this person at my side as a partner. I would appreciate it, if you would keep making videos about detachment and letting go. Thanks so much!
What makes the person so special to you?
@@SaveTheMessenger Thanks for replying. Well, lets start with the inner values: he is a colleague of mine and since three years we work together, so I came to know him a bit. The things I noticed from his character:
1. I never heard him talking bad behind the back of others.
2. He never blames others for his mistakes, he takes responsibility.
3. He is kind to everyone, he treats the cleaner in the same way like he treats the boss.
4. He is diligent and does not avoid tasks.
4. He criticizes people openly and at the same time respectfully.
5. He is kind and confident (which is rare).
6. He is passionate about his hobbies.
7. He does not seek validation through social media (he has no IG, Facebook, etc.)
and now we come to the superficial stuff, but this is also important:
8. I like the sound of his voice.
9. I love his laugh.
10. He has a great taste in style.
11. He is very good looking. Tall, great smile, open eyes and the most beautiful nose I have seen so far.
You see: he is my kryptonite.
@@milks9289nose comment was my fav my bf has a beautiful one as well 😊
I think problem with that is that we idolise a person. In our heads we already knew how he is great and how great it would be is together but that's our imagination. We can also imagine so many bad things as well but we don't. To me it really helped to imagine bad things that can be in his character, just like I already imagined good. Yes it's hard but you must do it. And yes he only showed good things but that's just mask, you don't know him on his bad day or when he is close to someone. Just literally imagine bad things about him, something that would bother you very much, and start to believe in it. And now you are changed your energy and he is chasing you. Suddenly you become so interesting to him. You will see.
@@lucyk2634 Thanks for your reply and your advise! Well, since we work together I would say, that I know him on his bad days when things go wrong and when he is stressed out. But you are right - I noticed all this good things, but there are also some bad one. Like he is a bit of a horder and chaotic. Maybe you are right and I should bring his not so good qualities to the spotlight.
Makes sense. You are treasured by people you are trying to get away from yet the one you immensely keeps turning you down.
A guy who is trully interested in you, won't let the connection wither away.
I know this one man is totally attracted to me because I haven't seen him for 5 years.
😂
😂😂
Its mind blowing
Sis 😂
Okay 😅😅
Being self sufficient and taking care of yourself is really important. And, if a guy doesn't want to spend time or energy on me, if I detach it's for good. I mean honestly, if this is how men are a whole, I'm not interested anymore. I enjoy my peace and giving to those who give back because they love and cherish me. I don't want to play games or pretend I'm not interested in someone, it's boring and sad.
I'd be careful with the bold assumption that a complete lack of attachement is attractive.If a man is willing to accept and finds this attitude is desirable, the lady might as well have other sexual partners simultaneously.
If a lack of commitment is attractive to a man, he's either not interested or lacks character.
It should be obvious to a man that, for a woman, love equals closeness. If she's detached, that might seem attractive to him, but only, because he doesn't understand women.
She's either not really interested or is a potential cheater, which means, she has low moral standards and isn't faithful.
That's fine for a playboy, who's looking for a party girl, but not for a man, who wants to get married.
She might as well dumb him quickly, if she has found a better option.
This video is talking about attachments to outcomes, not attachments to commitments or other people. It's letting go of the expectation of specific responses because you're already satisfied with the work that you put into something. You did the thing because _you_ wanted to, not because you wanted him to praise you for it, as an example.
I recently sent a video to a guy I'm seeing and the day he said he would look at it, he didn't mention anything about it at all. Nothing positive or negative. But I don't care about his lack of response, because I'm content with the work that I put into it and wanted to share it with him regardless of how he would respond to it. I detached myself from the expectation of any specific response. It's on him now to let me know if he didn't appreciate it. And if he never says he actually did appreciate it, that's on him, too.
This 💯💯💯💯
It just means that they are attracted to someone who can walk away if they aren’t getting what they need, instead of hanging out in hopes he comes around.
Did you even watch the video? You sound silly
A woman will decide she wants a man and treats him well, a man's brain goes oh I have her, she detaches because she feels unloved, he takes her for granted. Men think oh I can win her back, she's playing games, not realising they have done the damage she doesn't want him back. They then say I can't trust women 😂
I’m a dismissive avoidant aka a master at detachment. I think it works because men haven’t asked me out or noticed me. I’ll keep it up because it’s natural and I love my alone time. I’m 40 next year and glad it’s working to keep the murderers I accidentally know away.
Yes indeed! ❤😂
❤❤❤❤
yea, quality women don’t play games.. if a man is attracted to me because I’m distanced, I don’t want him anymore.
Great video! Cat or mouse. Builders don’t chase because they are busy building 💖
Thank you. When builders focus on their goals, they naturally attract opportunities rather than chasing after them. It’s all about prioritizing what truly matters and letting the right things come to you.
So true, builders are busy building 😂
You are your own source of all things. It come thru you, and magnetize more not chase more. no reason to be detached you have everything you need and can create what you dont. Being in joyful states of being will help your actions be clear.Believe in yourself focus inward and adore and honor. all is well. All about you while being kind and respectful.
Thank you
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Dear Ismael, have to give you a lot of admiration and thanks for being a great guy that has chosen to help women to find and keep a good candidate! Congratulations! You are awesome.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate your support and am glad to help women navigate their journeys. It means a lot to hear that my efforts are making a difference.
I pull away and/or do not offer up the "holding on too tight" in the first place. CERTAINLY has been my experience that men flock to it.
It’s interesting how dynamics shift when we change our approach.
I definitely go cold and don’t text thinking oh, I’m giving him space, I am detaching. Then I say well he’s not texting me so it wasn’t meant to be. I think I forget to do part one and try to make a relationship work. I just go to step two of moving on from something that didn’t seem like it was working.
I give 3 invitations. If they are all ignored, refused, or otherwise dismissed...I move on. This applies to friends & potential partners. I have better things to do than be around people who don't appreciate me.
I've watched almost all your videos in row, in a very confused state of mind my current relationship has brought me into. You are a gamechanger with your clear, straightforward statements and insights. Thank you! 💐 Your inspiration brought me back to myself ... and to realizing the major mistakes I've made lately in this relationship. Warm greetings from Berlin!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m really glad to hear the videos have helped you find clarity and get back to yourself.
1:59
Anything you chase will run 🏃♂️ from you
anything you cling 🫂 to will seek to get out of your grasp
anything you put on a pedestal 🏆will always be out of your reach
2:10 this is why detachment is the key 🔑 to getting anything you want
Congratulations, Ismael for reaching over 100,000 subscribers!
Thank you so much. truly appreciate the support. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful for everyone who’s been a part of it. Here's to even more growth together.
Extremely disinterested in people who detaches. No thanks. Need crystal clear simple energy. No mind games!
7:52 the key 🔑 is to stay engaged without feeling the need for a specific outcome
Thankyou Ismael.. you are a earthly guardian angel 😇
I am 52 yrs young going into my 5th month of serious relationship... in Australia 🇦🇺
Absolutely brilliant! This should be one of those mandatory videos to watch for all women 🙏🏻❣️🙏🏻🙌🙌
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you found it valuable. It's important to share insights that can empower everyone, and I appreciate your support.
Catch- 22 of attraction. Wanting love so much it creates a barrier or stop caring and suddenly no man is worth disrupting my peace.
Hi Ismael, I just wanted to thank you for this eye-opening video. It came at a time when I was really struggling to detach from someone I’ve known for a long time. To give you some context, I recently reconnected (in university) with a close friend from middle school, and we went through some difficult times together. Over time, our relationship grew from a platonic friendship into something more romantic. But despite the feelings we both had, he’s not ready to commit, and that’s been really hard for me. I find it so difficult to detach emotionally because, for me, he’s not just a romantic interest, but also a friend. Letting go of that connection has felt impossible, even though I know I need to for my own peace of mind. Your video helped me realize that detachment isn’t about cutting someone off or shutting down emotionally-it’s about recognizing what I can control and what I can't. I’m starting to understand that I don’t need to hold onto something that isn't moving forward, and I can still respect myself and my emotions in the process. Thank you so much for your advice-it’s helping me come to terms with this situation and start focusing on my own well-being. I truly appreciate you sharing your wisdom and helping me see things from a new perspective.
Thank you for sharing your story and for allowing me to be a part of your journey. Wonderful things are coming your way for 2025.
It's just that when I detach completely. I never want those men back... I care nothing about them. GONE.
this is what happens to me. When I stop caring, it is the end of the story already
Exactly! Ugh. Frustrating 🤦♀️
I sing my fav song to myself. Happy on my own. Maybe one day I meet someone whom I may like more than my solitude🤗
oh God the first minute - coming from a date (yesterday) where the man was love-bombing to the point that i still feel suffocated today. It's horrible to not get enough space. Flight instinct
Narcissistic
Stalker next.
Congrats for the UA-cam Creator Award! I always watch your videos. It's nice to see your channel growing.
Yayyy congratulations 🎊 I’m so happy for you I’ve been a subscriber since about 40k so nice to see the growth ❤❤❤
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support from the beginning. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.
woah. you reached over 100k so fast. i remember being here when you had 7,000 subscribers; and that was only four months ago. everything’s just working out in your favor, huh?😅 happy to see ur success. keep it going.
Your analogies are fantastic, right from the one at the start about the hug. It really clicked for me.
Being too detached lost me the love of my life. I still feel sorry for how he mustve felt with me.
Ismael, that was the best video I have ever seen on detachment. I truly understand it now and will put your tips to use as I focus on my inputs!! Fantastic, Ty 😊
Thank you so much. Wishing you all the best as you put those tips into practice.
Ismaël you are simply smart, irradiate good energy and share with us useful, instructive and very important videos. Big thank you.
I’m a Capricorn I can detached myself so easily most times of the time til the point I forget the person name or don’t remember much about them
I practice detachment as a spiritual practice, and he’s right, this speaks volumes without me saying nothing. I try to find inner “completeness” that’s reliant on no one. As a result, I’m not trying too hard or trying to get a result from anyone, I’m simply trying to enjoy myself and my life - and it seems without even trying, while I’m not that physically attractive, people are drawn to me. It’s crazy but even in this lost world, we are all seeking spiritual beauty in others.
I think trying too hard smells like desperation but it also screams insecurity. All turn offs, for anyone. It says “I’m not confident in my ability to survive and cope with life.” We enjoy confidence because it speaks to the ability and confidence to survive - and we respect resilience and self-sufficiency over needy people who will burden us. We are primates after all
Not everyone that highly values companionship feels like an incomplete person alone. Sometimes you're so complete you want to share! At the same time there are certain things only the right person can fulfill
You are super wise with such a big heart. I always appreciate your words of wisdom and the examples you give. Thank you for just being you.
That's very sweet of you. Thank you for the kind words.
Gracias Ismael por tus enseñanzas; por cierto me encanta ese guiño de ojo final.👍
As always, another wonderful video dropped by you ❤
Can you please make a video on how to deal with male ego?
I suppose women more or less have encountered it at some point of their life.
Men are so complicated 😢
In contact with a person i met online for some months now and been in an emotional turmoil ever since,I so like him but so tired of the uncertainty.
Be careful. Probably talking to others
The only thing that doesn't run away when you cling is Jesus Christ. Cling your heart out! He is the ONLY one who will complete/fulfill all your dreams. The first importance in a man is his relationship with Christ, the closer you each are to Christ the closer you can be to each other. Stop looking to a man to be your all, your #1. That is Christ's place.
🙄🙄🙄
Jeez
Thanks, I needed this!
😍😊
I just made this same comment ❤
In a nutshell, priorities yourself before anyone.
I am 50+ and enjoy your videos. Some tips are refreshers and some are new. As I work on my, I am taking notes 🙏🏽
Thank you for your support. I’m glad the videos resonate with you, and it’s great to hear you’re finding value in both the new tips and the refreshers.
Ismael, I am so happy to have a subscription to this channel. Not only you have such a comforting voice - yeah, those vocal coachings DID pay off! - but you put YOURSELF and your life stories in the videos. I really enjoyed your examples of how this laws of detachmet worked for you. And I have a little follow-up question: you speak a lot about how multitasking is bad. I know that, I've heard that it just fills you up with too much adrenaline and gives you more drama in your life. But ... I am a working mom and if I didn't multitask, I probably wouldn't get anything done ... Do you by any chance have an advice on that..? Otherwise, keep making excellent videos! Love from Slovenia, Europe.
Ooh I’m glad I came upon your channel!
Love this video! The analogies were very helpful!
This was the God send video - I’ve been trying to find something real and practical
I actually felt a lift once o understood this - I’ve been wanting to detach
Best content on self development till date
Game changer❤
Thank you for sharing your gift and wisdom to the World .❤ Send love from Hk.
I finally figured out how to do this. He actually respected me enough to tell me he is still there but he explained to me a method to understand how to stop "obsessing" over what others think about me, obsessing over rejection that is or isn't there.
God Bless people like him and the guy in this video. I sincerely wish to God someone taught me these things. Any way I can make myself healthier on any level is the way I want to go in life. I'm 44 and I am forever a life-learner.
That’s amazing-learning to let go of others’ opinions and focus on your own growth is so powerful.
The challenging part is when you carry complex trauma and/or are turning 40 and still haven't found that special partner to buy a house with or father to your child, then you start getting quite stressed about finding him.
Basically, let go of your attachment to wanting these outcomes, and these outcomes will come to you. Focus on yourself and being the type of person _you_ would want to be with. Try to heal what you can and learn to love yourself above anyone else. This will attract the right kind of people who will want to be in your orbit.
It's a journey. It takes time.
That! Becoming the best version of yourself in all ways you can create.
Oh my gosh. This makes so much sense. I have not heard it explained this way before and it makes more sense now 😊
I'm glad to hear that. It’s great when a new perspective clicks and makes things clearer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Great advice 👍. Thank you. Blessings 🙏
The analogy about singing was incredibly helpful. I will be taking that forward with me.
I have figured out how to be in relationship.. I will fulfill all my obligations toward my partner but in return I will expect nothing
My own self will be my love and focus on improving myself every day
This is how I will spend my married life
Great video. Thank you for sharing. Love your channel. Sending Love and Good Energy to you and all the beautiful souls out there ❤️💥🩵💥💜💥💙💥
Thank you for your wonderful message. I truly appreciate your support and positive energy. It means a lot to me and everyone in our community. Sending love and good vibes back to you.
News flash, there isn't just one soul mate in the world for you, there are many. You just have to meet them and choose wisely
I've learned to get better at detatching and also giving the man his cave time. I might feel a bit crazy for a min then I detatch. I get on with my business. I give it time but if i do wanna check on him, I do but I don't keep checking if he's non responsive. Let him move at his pace. I'll still live my life at mine. I don't chase but I do express myself authentically too. I get a little obsessed for like a day but I'm learning to manage that hormonal crazy stuff. I've also learned to turn down invites if I'm not up to it even though a part of me might still think in scarcity terms. Even without words, the energy of scarcity in one is a turn off for the other. I trust God to deliver what I need in training. Thanks for video
I must say your channel is one of the best out there, you have helped me alot with yiur advice ❤
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad to hear that my advice has been helpful to you.
My own experience, total detachment doesn't work on guys that are insecure and lack in self-esteem, they just think the detached women are too 'high up' for them, so they give up and go look for easier targets, which are readily available any way. I'm a woman.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. It's interesting to hear how detachment can be perceived differently based on individual insecurities.
But do you really want to invest in a guy that’s insecure and lacks in self esteem?
@@jlady1595 I didn't say I want to, but, there's plenty out there, especially the young ones. Apparently, the right woman can take away a guy's insecurity and lack of self-esteem. That's just my general observation.
you're the best..ur texting mistake wali video was literally amezing...luv ya ismael
So ecstatic for you reaching 100K plus subscribers. My very first comment ever was how don't you already have 1 mil subs. Looking forward to you reaching that milestone. As always another insightful video . I appreciate you.
Believe it or not, I remember your username. You're a gem. Thanks for sticking around.
My client recently said today “men actually like the silent treatment gives us space to do what ever we want.” Appreciation comes in balance with and without
That is called taking your spouse for granted stay single.
@ I dunno I feel that sometimes space of deffo needed, and negative feelings do take time to simmer down ya knoe
You’re incredible Ismael! I’ve learned so much invaluable insight on my healing journey from your videos. Eres Divino, Dios te bendiga 🙏🏼
But we’ll throw you men in the friend zone. Knowing we want nothing more than friendship. And we’ll talk your ear off about our latest love interests. 😊
Really, finding love is down to luck. I don’t chase. If a man pulls away, I leave him be until he comes back. Meanwhile, I internalise everything and cry when I’m on my own.
I tend to detach from the outcome as well. I don’t play games. I’m too old for that.
I have a friend who always finds relationships easily. She doesn’t need to detach because the guys she dates don’t play games, and they’re present in the dating stage. And they commit.
Game playing is a sign of avoidant or anxious attachment styles, and/or immaturity. I’m not here for it.
100% my favourite coach
A really good advisor i have came across. Ismael you are doing a great job keep it going man. Cheers.
Maybe that’s why I got guys chasing me, cause I don’t emotionally attach myself until at least a year later of getting to know them. Most of the time they end up showing their true colors to me once their comfortable and show me they aren’t worth my time. That’s when they realize I’m not playing around and regret it 😂
I would like to share some words from the book Fidelity - How to create a loving relationship that lasts by Thich Nhat Hanh:
When we love someone, we should look deeply into the nature of that love. True love doesn't contain suffering or attachment. It brings well-being to ourselves and others. True love is generated from within. With true love, you feel complete in yourself; you don't need something from outside. True love is like the sun, shining with its own light, and offering that light to everyone.
Saying yes when asked out on a date, seems to be showing enough interest to get ghosted. I’ve said yes, then I wait to get a call or message with the chat and plan for the date, but these men disappeared forever. Why bother to ask ? 😂 I know I know, it was just for them to see if I would, and their interest waned and the chase was over when they knew I liked them enough to say yes. I gave up saying yes, as about 50 times in a row, (asked out about 50 times in 5yrs) I said yes, and no date ever happened.
This... seems unusual. I think that I get asked out noticeably less than you, but each time I agree, it's a real date
@@Lele-nr3fq I know it’s happened to lots of other women too, over years. It’s a bizarre situation and I’d love to ask men why they ask, then ghost after she says yes. All could figure out was that they wanted to know if they could, and weren’t actually interested, it was just a test to boost their own ego.
@@KwertyKeysthey just wanted attention. Any validation is enough to soothe fragile egos
@@KwertyKeys they just wanna check they still have it
@ yep! annoying and weird, I don’t want to be some insecure dude’s experiment