If you found this video helpful, be sure to check out our whole comprehensive package on Workaholism! hbr.org/2024/09/a-workaholics-guide-to-reclaiming-your-life
I'm not "addicted to success" I'm addicted to "not being yelled at by my boss in grad school, who is the one addicted to success." I just want to exist.
Most bosses are focused on productivity and results, and not on our mental well being. To do what he’s saying we have to be our own advocate and figure out our own strategy to achieve this. for example, maybe you could make yourself so invaluable to them compared to your peers, that you could start working less hours and even though they won’t like it, they will still want to retain you and keep you happy? If not, maybe this is not a job where you can leverage your strengths and you can start looking for something else.
@@EliacimRodriguez IKR, let them convince themselves with their own nonsense. Pretty much most things we appreciate today were done by hardworking folks. Either it be Steve Jobs working sleepless nights to develop Apple, or the workaholics that put man kind on the moon. If those marvelous achievements aren't "give backs", then I don't know what is.
Key is to realize that it all doesn't matter. The company will be fine without you. And you should find something to give you meaning rather than your boss's approval. Spoken as a struggling striver.
The issue here is you think the Boss's approval is the end reward that we're trying to obtain just for the sick of it. It's not! The boss's approval is just a means to a higher status, more influence, and ultimately make a bigger paycheck. Of course, for some folks, it's not that deep. But I would say they're in the minority
I guess what's being discussed here is voluntary workaholism. For those working out of compulsion would slow down at the first opportunity they get unlike the compulsive workaholics.
@@electronicsacademy2D2E29 There is nothing wrong with voluntary workaholism. For high masking, high functioning autistic individuals whose work is their passion, being a workaholic is natural and acceptable.
@@electronicsacademy2D2E29 Then we are in agreement. My paternal grandfather worked tirelessly, doing over 8 hours of physical labor daily. He also maintained a vegetable garden to ensure his family had enough to eat. He worked all the time through his 70's. His hard work enabled my father to pursue higher education. My father also was a workaholic. Thanks to their efforts, I can now happily work in a less demanding job. But guess what? ... I also am a workaholic. However, we all led happy lives.
As a recently retired workaholic, this video is spot on. I was addicted to achievement and accomplishment - pays well but at a high personal cost. Now I’m happy because I value and work on relationships (plus doing what “I” want as a retiree)
So you worked hard and got what you wanted financially and now you can coast. If you were coasting when you were younger you likely wouldn't have retired as early as you did.
I want to ask, if you were young would you still make the same decision? I sometimes feel like hard work is what I have to do in order to improve my life. But I also started to realise that I am not happy because happiness is not having success. We humans have human needs so I guess I should work on my happines a bit more.
@TremblingQualifier the problem is coasting at 25 is very different than coasting at 60. You’re never going to forget being a broke college student with your buddies trying your best to not be homeless on a random out night. I think it’s important to work hard but not for the sake of “success” you need a bigger vision or purpose than that. Because true success is contentment and you can be content anywhere. You could make minimum wage and be content. For me that vision is happiness and being able to provide for others. Meaning I’m not going to sacrifice time with the people I really love for the sake of work. I know workaholics who would literally destroy everything in their life just to be 10% more productive than everyone else when they could easily coast at 90-80% efficiency and achieve very similar results.
@@Tristan-ne1vz TOTALLY!!! this guy actually thinks that it was all worth it because you can enjoy life at 65 instead of just enjoying your life always. Like the guy from the video said, the childhood of your kids is actually really short, and is the most valuable time that you will have as a father, and to think that leave them alone in that time is worth it because you can coast at 65 shows that the guy actually doesn't think in anyone other than himself.
I think one of the most essential learnings in life is that noone, I repeat noone, of us is irreplacable. No matter how hard you strive and no matter what you accomplish for your company, once you are gone, you will be forgotten after roughly 3 months. Life will go on. And maybe some people will miss you, but the vast majority of your colleagues will just forget you. And this is true for every level of the corporate ladder. I know, we all want so contribute to something bigger than ourselves, but I think the biggest thing we can contribute to is preserving humanitie's humanity. We are not a species of robots!
As an old retired geezer, I worked sometimes 8 hrs per day, sometimes 12 and on a few occasions, the 12 was 7 days a week for about 5 weeks. I was an instrument engineer and after some years, I was promoted to managing the section. I quickly found out that I enjoyed doing the work but I hated managing and I soon was able to opt out by quitting and taking a different job. After about 6 years my original company asked me to come back and I did so with the agreement that I would never again be the manager. They agreed and I retired from the company about 16 years later. So be careful what you wish for. If you enjoy what you're doing you might want to stick with it and to hell with the fast track.
I learnt from my avoidant EX that work is true love because work won’t ‘hurt’ them like human. He never trusted any human for one day but he is extremely successful in his career in his ‘CEO club’
For me, workaholism is about staying productive out of fear of punishment and shame. It's childhood stuff. What are your thoughts on that? Yes, I've been in therapy, in and out for the last 30 years.
For me it was a self-esteem issue. The fear of having no value in this world if I wasn't extra-ordinary. How could anyone love or want to be with someone who was average and basic? I saw friends I considered close pass over me in favor of people they barely hung out with but offered more business prospects. I saw people who accomplished above average things find all the happiness and love I desired (at least from the outside looking in). But life is cruel. And despite all my best efforts and work, my accomplishments were never enough to get the things i wanted, which drove me deeper into a hole to try and be even better. After some therapy I just came to the realization that I was working myself to the bone and putting this immense pressure on myself and it wasn't working out, so I might as well just try to live a bit simpler and try to focus on being more happy. At least if I 'fail' anyway, the journey would be little less shtty..
a different take on the root cause of workaholism - as Dr. Gabor Maté argues, addiction (including workaholism) stems from unresolved childhood trauma, where work becomes a form of self-soothing. this can (and perhaps often does) coexist with the need for external validation i.e. success suggested by Arthur Brooks in this video. this suggests that workaholism is a complex behavior shaped by various internal and external drivers that vary significantly across individuals.
I grew up seeing my workaholic parents.. had a lot of friends in school & college but turned out to be exactly like my parents after I started working. Its been 2 decades now and I'm guilty of everything u said about success & work. However along my journey I also saw the true colors of my closest friends & partner and realized that the relationship that I need is one that doesn't stab me in the back and hence being a workaholic was far better than people whom you expect to love you back
I don’t have as much experience as you but I would say even being stabbed in the back that experience is better than being a workaholic. Assuming you had 10 good years with someone them stabbing you in the back at the end doesn’t change the fact you had genuinely happy memories. In the moment it was the best you could have done. It was also a period of growth and self learning. Not to mention I think it’s really hard to find true friends and partners who won’t betray you as a workaholic. It’s very time consuming, emotionally draining, etc. to cultivate a ride or die relationship. My happiest years were being broke with some buddies. No amount of money or success will ever be better than that. Even the relationships that ended unideally I still hold close for the moments that they were good, the moments where I built life long memories and was truly happy. Work has never made me feel that way the feeling after a large success goes away and nothing really changes a week out.
@@Tristan-ne1vzman I resonate with this: some of your best years was being broke with your buddies. That’s real talk dam I felt that and so true. All the money and jobs and titles and things that really seem like they matter just don’t matter at all when it’s all said and done or make you feel as good as real friends
As an introvert striver whose only close relationship with my partner, I found it so comforting to know that I am not alone but also that there are steps that I can take to change that seem feasible and not unachievable.
I think society needs lots of people who are radically dedicated to work, and they should be rewarded for that dedication, but the balanced, quiet life should be the norm. The problem we currently have is that it takes 80hrs a week of labor to raise a family in a city and when you do that you never see your kids. When you realize ahead of time you are never going to see your kids, you decide not to have them at all.
This video was like a punch in my stomach that i wasnt expecting, but is very clear that i needed. Im exactly that person. This behavior was something that i wasnt able to see clearly, but that i felt as a problem i could not identify. Thank you, really.
One of the most chill HBS ever! He literally talked to me through all the crucial touch points. I felt like he is a friend of mine who is highly experienced haha. Amazing content! An eye opening one for sure.
Excellent excellent excellent video I think it's a little presumptious to explain workaholism as an addiction to success. A few years ago, when things were tough for me, there was definitely some element of escapism with work. At this point in my life I think that it is indeed an addiction to success but I think perhaps that's not true for all viewers so it's worth maybe asking yourself
It's such a great high when you achieve a goal and succeed - especially in the face of recognition. In recent years, turning 53 - wiser older blah blah blah - I've come to realise that we all need an emotional intelligence to accept the absence of success or situational achievement , is not problematic. It's life. Laws of the universe. Amazing share with the world - I feel like I just got free access to a uni lecture from arguably one of the greatest institutions. Thanks!!
I like the idea in this video, but a lot of us are workaholics just to keep our jobs. We HAVE to put work first and work more, work faster, learn outside of work, so we can outlast competition in the rounds and rounds of layoffs and survive the ever changing technology landscape.
Seeking success is hard, because we always move the goalposts and increase the criteria on what success is. We reach a higher level and tell ourselves, let's go higher. It's a never ending cycle of constantly striving. Eventually it leads to burnout and disillusionment.
Key insights: - Workaholism is a secondary addiction. The primary addiction is an addiction to success. - Success is achieving something of merit and being rewarded for it. - The underlying problem is success addiction, which is a moral problem. - Workaholism is as neurophysiological as any other addiction. - Strivers get dopamine when they feel like they are succeeding at work. - Work takes; work doesn’t give. - Cultivating real friendships is crucial for happiness. - Real friendships extend beyond a spouse. - Real friends are useless because they’re just people who love you. - Happiness is love.
Surprisingly, it doesn’t delve into narcissistic conversations. That has a lot to do with self-reflection and the need for external validation to reinforce certain mindsets. Workaholism is just a method. The discussion focuses on the symptoms, not the root cause.
Being familiar with different addictions in the past (e.g. gaming, tobacco, work etc.) and after reading some of the comments I can notice people trying to explain themselves by giving reasons for being workaholic, where in the first place we (a human being) need to understand that if after wathing this video the first thing that comes to my head is to figure out how to explain my 14 hours workday - it is a good sign, I should focus on how to stop this instead of explaining myself why am I doing it 😇
I'm being forced to work around the clock and during weekends and holidays because they don't create shifts for operation. And the other company related to ours are venturing global and they also end up working around the clock. So, I can't relate to being addicted to work, just a slave to some cold-hearted management.
Exactly. This Harvard guy must have been in management. Very detached from the reality of the slave driving boss with unrealistic deadlines. It's really no wonder there are so many homeless people with clueless business leaders like this guy.
People strive for "success" in the work world when the thing is there is no "success" to be had. Work isn't a place people go and accomplish things that have any personal meaning, it's just to keep gears running in the world and so people can get by financially. Success comes from accomplishing things that have personal meaning, not things that are just a means to an end.
It’s not intended to criticize the professor, but I could see a hidden layer in his manifestation of workaholism. For him, the problem is not about our boss and culture, but about ourselves who struggle for success and to be special. But the subject here has not changed, some people may adapt to the workaholic culture, and some can't, and for those who can not cope, it's time to digress all of the “structural problems” into individual, and solved by love, by friendship, what a wisdom. I really think he is a fan of Dale Carnegie
@nicolasgirard2808 Don’t work hard, work smart. That’s why I’m going back to school for engineering. It offers high pay, regular hours, and best of all, it’s something I can enjoy doing.
Too bad sociopaths are over-represented in higher echelons of business. Hard for them to work less by loving people when they are sort of incapable of that.
If you are addicted to success, I suggest reading a book 'Chase No More: The Path to Success'. Probably the best content about navigating your life as a man from early adulthood.
When I reduced my working hours from 65 to 55 to 45. It definitely took some financial planning to figure it out. I can pretty much work a 40-hour week and not stress about having enough money to do the things I need to do. I've given myself a lot of time to be around family and friends. I do got to say though every once in a while I'll get the opportunity to work 55 hours And believe me the paychecks are like Christmas to me. But I could never go back to that lifestyle.... It sucked.... Trust me you absolutely live up to your income.
Not addicted to work, but addicted to success. Yup, pretty much me. Success as an external factor for self validation. Yay. I finally have to accept I'm a workaholic, I guess.
Im not a workaholic because I overachieved but because I will loose everything I built up if I loose it to someone better than me, ergo I cannot let that happen
2:57 There are multiple 12 step programs for work addiction (I am not naming any because part of the ethos, the traditions of 12 step, is that we do not name the program at the level of the media). There is a 12 step program for almost anything in life. I’m disappointed that HBR did not fact check that before publishing because so many viewers will miss out on a community of people who are chipping away at their same problem. The underlying problem is emotional abandonment in childhood. Last, workaholism can often have other comorbidities like overeating or abusing stimulants, so even if you went into a 12 step for the comorbidity problem, you’re still going to ultimately be uprooting the same psychological origins of your self abandoning behavior. I am taking the time to comment not just to educate but because we heal so much faster in community than we do working alone or even with an expert like a therapist, one on one.
Yeah this is for people who already grabbed the bag. Your kids will appreciate the future they had more than you spending every possible moment you have with them.
There is actually a 12-step program for Workaholism. Six minutes is not nearly enough info on this topic and how one can get better and learn to enjoy life.
"One of the most deleterious addictive behaviors known to mankind" Solid candidate for wildest hyperbole of the year. We're adults, we can recognize something as bad without it having to pretend it's "one of the worst things ever!" No one is wishing their workaholic partner would trade it in for an addiction to substance abuse, or gambling, or promiscuity, or shopping... Like, _maybe_ exercise, but if their never gonna be around, there might as well at least be a large paycheck to show for it instead of gym, equipment, and race costs.
Isn’t success really about being admired? - and that leads to the question “why do i want to be admired?” And then - so what even is success? A state of admiration? Being reverred? Etc.. you know the concept of success is deeply ideological and cultural? So then - i ask myself, is being admired a cultural ideal - or aa concept I just am following? I dunno - anyway. Love this topic 😅
3:40 my workaholism is caused by studying works by JS Bach, and finding meaning in classical music thanks to wisdom literature and stoic philosopher’s insights. I guess I am hopeless😅
Or, some of us are behavior analysts, behavior therapists who understand and treat obsessive and compulsive behavior. For too many people, their net worth is their self-worth.
This would all be fine and dandy if there was greater income equality. Otherwise, all this video is built towards is people who are already moderately successful (depending on age/person/responsibilities making 120k-200k+ per year in a career that isn't ruining their mental health and have at least 2 years of savings)
Okay These advice seems applicable to people who are workaholics and are successful but what about people who are working hard but are yet to reach to some minimum level of achievement in their field to survive. For example PHD students who need to give in more time to successfully finish their projects and studies. Sparing time apart from work and selfcare might cost them 2-3 extra years to their phd journey. How should such people deal with workaholism?
As the spouse of H1B or modern day slave, fully approve this message. 😂 Eventually neither at work, nor at home - if XYZ workholic is dead or alive matters. Reality of the life - people are replaceble period. And your life is worth what you worth for it- not the # of Os in your bank account.
Definitely not "success addiction", more like "I have too much work to do and not enough time, and my company won't pay me more or give me the necessary resources"
It's a shame when some Asian proprietors strongly believe that working more and more and more is the ultimate solution to success.. It's like a prerequisite for being an outstanding businessman. Trust me. Till this day, majority of Asian CEOs and owners insist on working countless hours to be successful.
If you found this video helpful, be sure to check out our whole comprehensive package on Workaholism! hbr.org/2024/09/a-workaholics-guide-to-reclaiming-your-life
I'm not "addicted to success" I'm addicted to "not being yelled at by my boss in grad school, who is the one addicted to success." I just want to exist.
Most bosses are focused on productivity and results, and not on our mental well being. To do what he’s saying we have to be our own advocate and figure out our own strategy to achieve this. for example, maybe you could make yourself so invaluable to them compared to your peers, that you could start working less hours and even though they won’t like it, they will still want to retain you and keep you happy? If not, maybe this is not a job where you can leverage your strengths and you can start looking for something else.
Boss in grad school?
@@akbarberlianThey’re most likely taking an internship during the school year.
theyre not talking about you theyre marketed at your boss and delusional people who think one day they will join those ranks
@@nosequiters Who's they? You mean the girl that started the conversation?
“Work takes, it doesn’t give back” and “kids got their revenge, they grew up” Best quotes
Real friends are useless, they're just people who love you 💔
That's what the money is for! Don Draper
So i guess they forgot the part where you get paid at work for your work.
@@EliacimRodriguez IKR, let them convince themselves with their own nonsense.
Pretty much most things we appreciate today were done by hardworking folks. Either it be Steve Jobs working sleepless nights to develop Apple, or the workaholics that put man kind on the moon.
If those marvelous achievements aren't "give backs", then I don't know what is.
Work of course gives you money, which is essential for survival
"Deal friends are useful. Real friends are useless; they just love you" almost cried
me too
real friends would like things from you too he missed that and that what spoil the friendship in most cases
Finding a real friend with so much different opinion nowadays is difficult. Simplicity is no longer there in human beings.
Key is to realize that it all doesn't matter. The company will be fine without you. And you should find something to give you meaning rather than your boss's approval. Spoken as a struggling striver.
It does matter, and what you do is useful!
I gon get my paper up doing whatever
The issue here is you think the Boss's approval is the end reward that we're trying to obtain just for the sick of it. It's not!
The boss's approval is just a means to a higher status, more influence, and ultimately make a bigger paycheck.
Of course, for some folks, it's not that deep. But I would say they're in the minority
Success isn't the only reason. Many people have families to support and we fear losing our jobs.
I guess what's being discussed here is voluntary workaholism. For those working out of compulsion would slow down at the first opportunity they get unlike the compulsive workaholics.
If you work hard "only" to support your family, you're not checking your work email in the bathroom and this video does not apply to you.
@@electronicsacademy2D2E29 There is nothing wrong with voluntary workaholism. For high masking, high functioning autistic individuals whose work is their passion, being a workaholic is natural and acceptable.
@@l3martin Never meant it was wrong. Just meant working under pressure of livelihood may sometimes be mistaken for voluntary workaholism.
@@electronicsacademy2D2E29
Then we are in agreement.
My paternal grandfather worked tirelessly, doing over 8 hours of physical labor daily. He also maintained a vegetable garden to ensure his family had enough to eat. He worked all the time through his 70's.
His hard work enabled my father to pursue higher education. My father also was a workaholic.
Thanks to their efforts, I can now happily work in a less demanding job. But guess what? ... I also am a workaholic. However, we all led happy lives.
As a recently retired workaholic, this video is spot on. I was addicted to achievement and accomplishment - pays well but at a high personal cost. Now I’m happy because I value and work on relationships (plus doing what “I” want as a retiree)
So you worked hard and got what you wanted financially and now you can coast. If you were coasting when you were younger you likely wouldn't have retired as early as you did.
I want to ask, if you were young would you still make the same decision? I sometimes feel like hard work is what I have to do in order to improve my life. But I also started to realise that I am not happy because happiness is not having success. We humans have human needs so I guess I should work on my happines a bit more.
@TremblingQualifier the problem is coasting at 25 is very different than coasting at 60. You’re never going to forget being a broke college student with your buddies trying your best to not be homeless on a random out night. I think it’s important to work hard but not for the sake of “success” you need a bigger vision or purpose than that. Because true success is contentment and you can be content anywhere. You could make minimum wage and be content. For me that vision is happiness and being able to provide for others. Meaning I’m not going to sacrifice time with the people I really love for the sake of work. I know workaholics who would literally destroy everything in their life just to be 10% more productive than everyone else when they could easily coast at 90-80% efficiency and achieve very similar results.
@@Tristan-ne1vz TOTALLY!!! this guy actually thinks that it was all worth it because you can enjoy life at 65 instead of just enjoying your life always. Like the guy from the video said, the childhood of your kids is actually really short, and is the most valuable time that you will have as a father, and to think that leave them alone in that time is worth it because you can coast at 65 shows that the guy actually doesn't think in anyone other than himself.
I think one of the most essential learnings in life is that noone, I repeat noone, of us is irreplacable. No matter how hard you strive and no matter what you accomplish for your company, once you are gone, you will be forgotten after roughly 3 months. Life will go on. And maybe some people will miss you, but the vast majority of your colleagues will just forget you. And this is true for every level of the corporate ladder.
I know, we all want so contribute to something bigger than ourselves, but I think the biggest thing we can contribute to is preserving humanitie's humanity. We are not a species of robots!
But you have all the experience of giving it your all and learning from that, that's valuable for YOU.
As an old retired geezer, I worked sometimes 8 hrs per day, sometimes 12 and on a few occasions, the 12 was 7 days a week for about 5 weeks. I was an instrument engineer and after some years, I was promoted to managing the section. I quickly found out that I enjoyed doing the work but I hated managing and I soon was able to opt out by quitting and taking a different job. After about 6 years my original company asked me to come back and I did so with the agreement that I would never again be the manager. They agreed and I retired from the company about 16 years later. So be careful what you wish for. If you enjoy what you're doing you might want to stick with it and to hell with the fast track.
I learnt from my avoidant EX that work is true love because work won’t ‘hurt’ them like human. He never trusted any human for one day but he is extremely successful in his career in his ‘CEO club’
For me, workaholism is about staying productive out of fear of punishment and shame. It's childhood stuff. What are your thoughts on that? Yes, I've been in therapy, in and out for the last 30 years.
And I am probably afraid of poverty and famine.
Agree would love to hear more here!
For me it was a self-esteem issue. The fear of having no value in this world if I wasn't extra-ordinary. How could anyone love or want to be with someone who was average and basic? I saw friends I considered close pass over me in favor of people they barely hung out with but offered more business prospects. I saw people who accomplished above average things find all the happiness and love I desired (at least from the outside looking in). But life is cruel. And despite all my best efforts and work, my accomplishments were never enough to get the things i wanted, which drove me deeper into a hole to try and be even better. After some therapy I just came to the realization that I was working myself to the bone and putting this immense pressure on myself and it wasn't working out, so I might as well just try to live a bit simpler and try to focus on being more happy. At least if I 'fail' anyway, the journey would be little less shtty..
@@pheasantnoetic7075 cant agree more.
Therapy is a lie
a different take on the root cause of workaholism - as Dr. Gabor Maté argues, addiction (including workaholism) stems from unresolved childhood trauma, where work becomes a form of self-soothing. this can (and perhaps often does) coexist with the need for external validation i.e. success suggested by Arthur Brooks in this video. this suggests that workaholism is a complex behavior shaped by various internal and external drivers that vary significantly across individuals.
this man's style is on point!
Yeah I love his whole look
Facts. Looking fresh
Right ✅️
I grew up seeing my workaholic parents.. had a lot of friends in school & college but turned out to be exactly like my parents after I started working. Its been 2 decades now and I'm guilty of everything u said about success & work. However along my journey I also saw the true colors of my closest friends & partner and realized that the relationship that I need is one that doesn't stab me in the back and hence being a workaholic was far better than people whom you expect to love you back
I don’t have as much experience as you but I would say even being stabbed in the back that experience is better than being a workaholic. Assuming you had 10 good years with someone them stabbing you in the back at the end doesn’t change the fact you had genuinely happy memories. In the moment it was the best you could have done. It was also a period of growth and self learning. Not to mention I think it’s really hard to find true friends and partners who won’t betray you as a workaholic. It’s very time consuming, emotionally draining, etc. to cultivate a ride or die relationship. My happiest years were being broke with some buddies. No amount of money or success will ever be better than that. Even the relationships that ended unideally I still hold close for the moments that they were good, the moments where I built life long memories and was truly happy. Work has never made me feel that way the feeling after a large success goes away and nothing really changes a week out.
@@Tristan-ne1vzman I resonate with this: some of your best years was being broke with your buddies. That’s real talk dam I felt that and so true. All the money and jobs and titles and things that really seem like they matter just don’t matter at all when it’s all said and done or make you feel as good as real friends
I love his way of speaking and wow the level of understanding he has on life is just wow. Really liked the video.
As an introvert striver whose only close relationship with my partner, I found it so comforting to know that I am not alone but also that there are steps that I can take to change that seem feasible and not unachievable.
"Happiness is love." Thank you for this quote and video.❤
I think society needs lots of people who are radically dedicated to work, and they should be rewarded for that dedication, but the balanced, quiet life should be the norm. The problem we currently have is that it takes 80hrs a week of labor to raise a family in a city and when you do that you never see your kids. When you realize ahead of time you are never going to see your kids, you decide not to have them at all.
This video was like a punch in my stomach that i wasnt expecting, but is very clear that i needed. Im exactly that person.
This behavior was something that i wasnt able to see clearly, but that i felt as a problem i could not identify. Thank you, really.
One of the most chill HBS ever! He literally talked to me through all the crucial touch points. I felt like he is a friend of mine who is highly experienced haha. Amazing content! An eye opening one for sure.
Although I feel 90% of my work is enjoyable and rewarding, the best moments of my life are with family and friends.
Dang, you lucky bastard
Excellent excellent excellent video
I think it's a little presumptious to explain workaholism as an addiction to success.
A few years ago, when things were tough for me, there was definitely some element of escapism with work.
At this point in my life I think that it is indeed an addiction to success but I think perhaps that's not true for all viewers so it's worth maybe asking yourself
Real Friends are useless. They're just people who love you...wow..
incredible eye opening
It's such a great high when you achieve a goal and succeed - especially in the face of recognition. In recent years, turning 53 - wiser older blah blah blah - I've come to realise that we all need an emotional intelligence to accept the absence of success or situational achievement , is not problematic. It's life. Laws of the universe. Amazing share with the world - I feel like I just got free access to a uni lecture from arguably one of the greatest institutions. Thanks!!
I think this came in my feed exactly when I needed to hear this!
I like the idea in this video, but a lot of us are workaholics just to keep our jobs. We HAVE to put work first and work more, work faster, learn outside of work, so we can outlast competition in the rounds and rounds of layoffs and survive the ever changing technology landscape.
Seeking success is hard, because we always move the goalposts and increase the criteria on what success is. We reach a higher level and tell ourselves, let's go higher. It's a never ending cycle of constantly striving. Eventually it leads to burnout and disillusionment.
Key insights:
- Workaholism is a secondary addiction. The primary addiction is an addiction to success.
- Success is achieving something of merit and being rewarded for it.
- The underlying problem is success addiction, which is a moral problem.
- Workaholism is as neurophysiological as any other addiction.
- Strivers get dopamine when they feel like they are succeeding at work.
- Work takes; work doesn’t give.
- Cultivating real friendships is crucial for happiness.
- Real friendships extend beyond a spouse.
- Real friends are useless because they’re just people who love you.
- Happiness is love.
Scary how the opening statements really hit the nail in the head: sneaky/hiding behavior..
Surprisingly, it doesn’t delve into narcissistic conversations. That has a lot to do with self-reflection and the need for external validation to reinforce certain mindsets. Workaholism is just a method. The discussion focuses on the symptoms, not the root cause.
Great video. Take a step back and organize your thoughts on life’s priorities.
Being familiar with different addictions in the past (e.g. gaming, tobacco, work etc.) and after reading some of the comments I can notice people trying to explain themselves by giving reasons for being workaholic, where in the first place we (a human being) need to understand that if after wathing this video the first thing that comes to my head is to figure out how to explain my 14 hours workday - it is a good sign, I should focus on how to stop this instead of explaining myself why am I doing it 😇
Never be a team player in Job and never give more than 60-70%. Giving 100% drag you towards workholism.
Loved it! Excellent way of talking. Deep messages. Thank you :)
Trauma brought me to this, and it’s now becoming unsustainable. Thanks for the Insight
The rewards I see from working have made me an addict there’s way more people that want it than people that have it
Really insightful video, I think working in a company culture that prizes "looking busy" also plays a detrimental role in being a workaholic.
Success SHOULD be a happy family. My husband is 74 and is still working.
I'm being forced to work around the clock and during weekends and holidays because they don't create shifts for operation. And the other company related to ours are venturing global and they also end up working around the clock. So, I can't relate to being addicted to work, just a slave to some cold-hearted management.
Work can only take what you offer it. As soon as you stop offering your time, it can no longer take from you.
Exactly. This Harvard guy must have been in management. Very detached from the reality of the slave driving boss with unrealistic deadlines. It's really no wonder there are so many homeless people with clueless business leaders like this guy.
Deal friends vs Real friends... wow, that one hit me hard!
People strive for "success" in the work world when the thing is there is no "success" to be had. Work isn't a place people go and accomplish things that have any personal meaning, it's just to keep gears running in the world and so people can get by financially.
Success comes from accomplishing things that have personal meaning, not things that are just a means to an end.
Wow! This is compact. And I feel I'm guilty too, and find hard to change it.
It’s not intended to criticize the professor, but I could see a hidden layer in his manifestation of workaholism. For him, the problem is not about our boss and culture, but about ourselves who struggle for success and to be special. But the subject here has not changed, some people may adapt to the workaholic culture, and some can't, and for those who can not cope, it's time to digress all of the “structural problems” into individual, and solved by love, by friendship, what a wisdom. I really think he is a fan of Dale Carnegie
I'd definitely be a workaholic if hard work actually lead to success, thankfully(?) that's not the case.
@nicolasgirard2808 Don’t work hard, work smart. That’s why I’m going back to school for engineering. It offers high pay, regular hours, and best of all, it’s something I can enjoy doing.
Too bad sociopaths are over-represented in higher echelons of business. Hard for them to work less by loving people when they are sort of incapable of that.
If you are addicted to success, I suggest reading a book 'Chase No More: The Path to Success'. Probably the best content about navigating your life as a man from early adulthood.
Do you have an author/publish-year?
@@thelouisjohnsonecho this 👌🏾
Facts I can't find jt
@@thelouisjohnson Author is David N
@@KaiStarkk Nah, it's for your own self improvement, buliding your own foundation
When I reduced my working hours from 65 to 55 to 45. It definitely took some financial planning to figure it out. I can pretty much work a 40-hour week and not stress about having enough money to do the things I need to do. I've given myself a lot of time to be around family and friends.
I do got to say though every once in a while I'll get the opportunity to work 55 hours And believe me the paychecks are like Christmas to me. But I could never go back to that lifestyle.... It sucked.... Trust me you absolutely live up to your income.
To get the next level of life you need to be workaholic but at the peak time , you need to balance life and work .However ,people are never satisfied
Trust the HBR to do a whole video on this without once mentioning class relations or forced overwork
Not addicted to work, but addicted to success. Yup, pretty much me. Success as an external factor for self validation. Yay. I finally have to accept I'm a workaholic, I guess.
Workaholics in the workplace also tend to not understand why other employees are NOT workaholics.
It's annoying as hell
Good Advice ... cultivating friendships
Happiness is not love. Love is something very rare and very beautiful.
happiness is love with this guy's mom.
This feels like great life advise inside of business lingo
Brilliant video, deep topic that's not talked about enough. I love how well articulated this speaker is. Thank you 👏👏
It's a deep topic but the video doesn't cover its depth.
I’m 63 with a full time and part time jobs which I’ve been doing for years. I love what I do and how I’m engaged.
Im not a workaholic because I overachieved but because I will loose everything I built up if I loose it to someone better than me, ergo I cannot let that happen
I'm totally opposite. I'm restaholic. I feel guilty for sleeping, eating and chilling. I need program to get addiction in work
I'm just addicted to saving my job and hustling 24/7 is the requirement
It's uncanny how his mannerisms, cadence, and even a little of his voice itself is so like Adam Ragusea.
Correct for people with specific perspective
Amazing explanation
I'd love to be able to work less, but I need two jobs to pay rent and groceries... and sometimes it isn't even enough
2:57 There are multiple 12 step programs for work addiction (I am not naming any because part of the ethos, the traditions of 12 step, is that we do not name the program at the level of the media). There is a 12 step program for almost anything in life. I’m disappointed that HBR did not fact check that before publishing because so many viewers will miss out on a community of people who are chipping away at their same problem. The underlying problem is emotional abandonment in childhood. Last, workaholism can often have other comorbidities like overeating or abusing stimulants, so even if you went into a 12 step for the comorbidity problem, you’re still going to ultimately be uprooting the same psychological origins of your self abandoning behavior. I am taking the time to comment not just to educate but because we heal so much faster in community than we do working alone or even with an expert like a therapist, one on one.
Loved that guy ❤❤
Вместо того чтоб дружить,любить и жить счастливо мы в одиночестве сконцентрированы на карьере которая приводит к выгоранию и разочарованию к жизни...
This is fantastic advice but in a system where many can barely make ends meet working in a system that will fire you if your not a top achiever
Yeah this is for people who already grabbed the bag. Your kids will appreciate the future they had more than you spending every possible moment you have with them.
I give my time to work and work gives me money in return. So no, "work takes; work doesn't give" is not true.
My problem is other extreme "Not working enough" David Bahnsen feels we are not working hard enough
thank you!
There is actually a 12-step program for Workaholism. Six minutes is not nearly enough info on this topic and how one can get better and learn to enjoy life.
"One of the most deleterious addictive behaviors known to mankind"
Solid candidate for wildest hyperbole of the year. We're adults, we can recognize something as bad without it having to pretend it's "one of the worst things ever!"
No one is wishing their workaholic partner would trade it in for an addiction to substance abuse, or gambling, or promiscuity, or shopping...
Like, _maybe_ exercise, but if their never gonna be around, there might as well at least be a large paycheck to show for it instead of gym, equipment, and race costs.
I couldn’t find the gentleman’s name anywhere in the video description! Arthur C. Brooks
Isn’t success really about being admired? - and that leads to the question “why do i want to be admired?” And then - so what even is success? A state of admiration? Being reverred? Etc.. you know the concept of success is deeply ideological and cultural? So then - i ask myself, is being admired a cultural ideal - or aa concept I just am following? I dunno - anyway. Love this topic 😅
Do what makes you happy as much as you can and don’t listing to all the noise.😊
Yes, my kids got their revenge, what a great insight video!
love is not a waterfall, its a bad leaky faucet. We all look back with a different set of eyes.
Watching this WHILE working on a Friday night for that weekend revenue report for my boss....
I could liste to Brooks for hours ❤
He is talking about me. Thanks for this video 👍👍
3:40 my workaholism is caused by studying works by JS Bach, and finding meaning in classical music thanks to wisdom literature and stoic philosopher’s insights.
I guess I am hopeless😅
I am off to Atlanta! ✈
Or, some of us are behavior analysts, behavior therapists who understand and treat obsessive and compulsive behavior. For too many people, their net worth is their self-worth.
4:44 DEAL friends (useful) vs REAL friends (use-less) ... actually need both, both are useful ...
.
Being an introvert is so efficient.
This is one of the best videos I have ever watched 🙌
Not addiction to success but an obsession to be successful.
Well this is important
This would all be fine and dandy if there was greater income equality.
Otherwise, all this video is built towards is people who are already moderately successful (depending on age/person/responsibilities making 120k-200k+ per year in a career that isn't ruining their mental health and have at least 2 years of savings)
Okay These advice seems applicable to people who are workaholics and are successful but what about people who are working hard but are yet to reach to some minimum level of achievement in their field to survive. For example PHD students who need to give in more time to successfully finish their projects and studies. Sparing time apart from work and selfcare might cost them 2-3 extra years to their phd journey. How should such people deal with workaholism?
Gotta grind harder
What about service? Serving for causes you believe in or just to serve?
As the spouse of H1B or modern day slave, fully approve this message. 😂 Eventually neither at work, nor at home - if XYZ workholic is dead or alive matters. Reality of the life - people are replaceble period. And your life is worth what you worth for it- not the # of Os in your bank account.
The metaphysical & divine.
I enjoyed this video
Definitely not "success addiction", more like "I have too much work to do and not enough time, and my company won't pay me more or give me the necessary resources"
This suit though 🤌🏻
lol I was thinking the same thing - "man this dude is dapper!"
In one word, if you are a workaholic, you have to work to overcome that.
It's a shame when some Asian proprietors strongly believe that working more and more and more is the ultimate solution to success.. It's like a prerequisite for being an outstanding businessman. Trust me. Till this day, majority of Asian CEOs and owners insist on working countless hours to be successful.