If you found Arthur's advice useful, be sure to check out this recent article by him, on the dangers of workaholism: hbr.org/2024/09/youre-more-than-a-success-machine
That is exactly what happened to me after working in a company for more than 16 years and initially believing that everyone was my friend or believed in me. But things have changed over the years; we've grown apart, there have been disagreements, and the most frightening thing has been my layoff last year. I was devastated at first and grew bitter. However, I am grateful to the people who have stood by my side outside of my corporate job, such as church and family, and who have helped me to reflect and not to be worried in facing the reality. I am now happier than I ever was in my previous company. Not only that, but I am in a job with great deal of flexibility, even full-time work from home.
After 16 years? Probably not. Maybe you responded that way because you're insecure about your own work ethic and have fear of being fired for it, think about that
I lost my job as a wireless engineer at Huawei in Sudan , right after the war started before year and half , suffered from identity crisis because of that , until I learned to deattach and redifine myself Wish saw this video earlier ☆
Woah I’m really sorry about this! Working in STEM in such a big electronics and tech company, you must be a big deal. The best of us think this stuff can never happen to us. Really sad about the war and its repercussions. Take care.
I am 21. And I just realised that I've been in an identity crisis from when I was 13. This video blew my mind, cuz I realised where I've been going wrong all my life. Thankyou so much for this.
It's easy to get lost in our careers and let them define us, but true fulfillment comes from embracing all aspects of our identity. Shifting focus from job titles to personal values can lead to a more balanced and joyful life.
I love this new Arthur Brooks series from HBR, he brings this tone of breezy candidness that balances the elegant seriousness of the subject matter. Please keep this up!
Americans are OBSESSED with work. The very first thing you get asked after meeting somebody other than your name is "What do you do for a living?" and no matter your response, you are instantly judged for the career path you chose, how much income you're assumed to have, and how successful you are or aren't in your field. And Heaven forbid if you're unemployed in this economy! In 100 years, you won't be around so why obsess so much about work? Or let others' useless opinions impact your sense of self?
This is really helpful. For the past few years - I've been telling myself that my financial success cannot be the ONE THING that identifies me. I never thought of it as fear - but now that it's explained in this context - it is fear. The fear of failing (at least in your mind). Incredible insight.
Wow, I am neither a budhist nor heard this idea before but whenever I feel like I will fail, I close my eyes and imagine my funeral. It is a complete relief.
I am seeing this, hearing this, feeling this at a moment in time in my life when I have been contemplating this. Arthur has a direct way of sharing a topic that most would consider sensitive, yet it has resonated with me in a good way. Looking forward to exploring this book sometime.
Aside from letting go and being grateful for the opportunity to be part of building up society, I have a desire to continue being part of building up society in my own little way. Rather than looking at success in grandiosity, I want to reconnect and witness the growth of virtues in others.
The death meditation is also known in the western/christian practice as “momento mori”. Very powerful practice. I appreciate your commentary, thank you!
Yes, feeling afraid, fearful, or failing is normal, and I think we often feel anxious about it and about what people think. What should I do? Arthur’s remark about meditation being one of the good solutions to our problems is helpful.
I just left my inpatient nursing job and have been unemployed for a month and have been always wondering what more I can identify other being a nurse at hospital. I am still learning this and and this video couldn’t have been perfect timing!
This hit home! It’s crazy how an identity crisis can feel so overwhelming, but also be a chance for growth and self-discovery. 🙌 Thanks for shedding light on such a relatable topic. Anyone else feel like they’ve had to 'find themselves' more than once?
His take is "admit the truth, it all sorta doesnt matter" is sorta feudalistic but i get it. But the TRUTH is you have inherent worth because you are a human being! You are ALIVE today and you are LOVED by others and by God. You need to explore and live in that love. Today, 150,000 people will cease to exist (statistically) but you will live today and there will not be another like you. You are valuable and that is why you dont put your identity in a career because YOU ARE MORE than a career not because "oh well, i will die one day so my career doesn't really matter" . I worry he has taken "positive thinking" and put it into "positive thinking negatively about 'reality of outcomes in the future" but the real answer is deeper than that. You are more than what you do.
“Feudalistic” means related to the political system of feudalism. What did he say that was related to exchanging land holding for military service 🤔. Or did you mean “fatalism”?
This is why I love Hardvard Content, It's so smart, people are so smart ! Killing you identity so is why people ponder over their deaths, the deaths lost their identity. I truly love smart content, it's so comforting in the misdt of useless content. On the other side, as a personal story I'd like to share, I have never got a loss for perhaps all my life, and then I started an entrepreneurial journey and everything has only been about losing
I am thinking of similar trajectory for parents since their child is born and until they leave the nest. Thank you for the video. The Buddhist practices are helpful for people who are not monks as well
Professor... Culture and history (including the "history of the Fmily" [family stories]; it can give wings/ even a sense of dignity, or keep you in limitations). BR *"Someone who has risen above his nation becomes someone exceptional". And hence: "The highest level of leadership is to lead other nations" *But also the concept of a "transitional individual".
Interesting, I have very pragmatic approach. My job doesn't define who I am. What is the most important is what I am doing to feel like I am progressing in my life.
As I get older I realise how much money I make is how much value I have. This makes me have an existential crisis especially when my job does not impact people's lives that much or when I am unemployed. This is depressing. Yeah it's like fear of death. I wanna leave something behind that's useful for other people and Idk what it's.
I think here it may be worth looking outside of job: try to volunteer, sit on a board or as trustee of some non profit organization that is close to your values. Even if that is an hour a week being engaged in service for others can make you feel better. Or different approach - maybe your job itself does not bring much of a value to average people or planet (lots of jobs don’t as business is there to make money, not to serve) BUT the means you have because of that job can be a contribution to something altruistic, i.e donations to charities etc.
Want to leave something useful for people? Yeah, then that "something" needs to be bigger than yourself, and that's your tribe and your family, a dinasty, a legacy.
@@DakotaFord592 I upload my lessons online. I am a teacher but I teach online. Part of me thinks it's part of my immortality. When I die I hope someone or some people can get something from my lessons I upload on UA-cam. It's more detailed and I actually spent hours on editing and making graphic designs so I hope one day they can appreciate my video lessons.
I agree with all the things you just mentioned, but the problem is that the managerial people who control the corporate world, from CEO all the way down to the lower management, like most of them "want" us to have a high level of success in order for us to get hired, especially in high paying jobs that can mostly be found on companies with "names". They will ask you like what school did you come from or what kind of leadership do you have. And that would be a big problem especially for those who try to build up their career from the beginning (I feel sorry about the late bloomers). If you dont want us to have an identity crisis on careers, how can you change the "elitist" minds of these managers?
If you're in a job interview and they ask about your career, it makes sense, no? since you're going there to work, not make friends. But I think this video is talking about your own sense of self. When you ask yourself, who am I? And you answer your profession, it means your identity is tied to it, which isn't beneficial for you. You can't change other people, only yourself
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that if the people who came from a no name school with unattractive work experiences, especially if they lack leadership skills, they should humble themselves and stay at their current level of career instead of wishing for a higher level in order for them not to have identity crisis on careers? And the people with high IQ and well connected who are capable of becoming part of the elite are okay to level up without worries? That's very unfair I would say. Take note if you want to level up experiencing identity crisis on careers would exist, and one way is to woo these elitist minded managers and people at the bottom who has low IQs and lack of networks cannot do anything about that, because that is how the system works.
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that people like with low IQs and have no networks need to humble themselves instead of wishing and trying to reach for a higher level careers in order for them to avoid identity crisis on careers when they fail, and at the same time people that belong to upper strata can easily reach out high careers without worries even though they fail? I dont think that's a fair play.
So in short imagining a career nightmare will set me free? Very interesting and counter intuitive! As a person who always have too much thought and worries of others judgement, should I try this instead of repeating self empowerment comment?
Those steps sound great to me though! Retirement is a great prospect! I think for me a 9 step meditation should include the horrors of being replaced by AI in the field where I enjoy working.
I feel like this practice needs to be monitored by good therapists cause despite its benefit, it may be suitable for people with anxiety, but may not be for someone with depression. For people with depression, what can help lift them up each day is hope, but reminding themselves about their worst fears, it's not the kind of mindset that's suitable for someone who's already lost hope in life. They'd forget the "despite changes, it's going to be okay" part and focus on the negatives instead
I often go through decisions with a pre-mortem approach to make the “worst case scenario” feel less scary (or to take some control back in it) but the key takeaway from this video for me was: if not work, what defines me that cannot be taken away from me? It put me back in the perspective that it matters more to be a good human than a good employee/ professional. I don’t want to be remembered for my work successes, but for my kindness or intelligence for example.
So long as one is part of society one will always seek one's identity within that society. Only humans who live in extreme conditions (far removed from human civilization) or those who are self-actualised and no longer identify with even their own body can avoid this "identity crisis". "Who we are" is a dynamic question, so the answer can't be static either.
"people are so afraid of failing at work" never been less related to a phrase in my life. My job is just something that pays my bill. At most, I'm afraid of loosing the capacity to pay my bills, but that's it.
I really liked this video, but it’s very interesting thinking about people in politics. Usually they are over 50 years old. Even the presidents are usually over 60 years old. So why this isn’t applicable for them?
When asked "who are you?" my first impulse was always to say "I'm a human being" But that sounds weird to people so "I'm an interpreter. We're working together with my husband. We've been happily married for 25 years. We have two grown up sons" is what I say instead
I give vague and cryptic responses to the questions, "who are you? what do you do? where are you from? Etc" People are usually trying to quickly label (judge) you, not trying to get to know you.
Prioritising work, career and productivity can be a dangerous trap. You are worth more than how much money you earn. You are more than your occupation.
I'm curious about the 20% of people fearing death statistic. From talking to lots of people about death, it seems like nearly all people fear death, but there is a large variety of ways in which people deal with the fear.
If you found Arthur's advice useful, be sure to check out this recent article by him, on the dangers of workaholism: hbr.org/2024/09/youre-more-than-a-success-machine
"Engineer different good times under different circumstances" Wow!! this is wisdom. Thank you
That is exactly what happened to me after working in a company for more than 16 years and initially believing that everyone was my friend or believed in me. But things have changed over the years; we've grown apart, there have been disagreements, and the most frightening thing has been my layoff last year. I was devastated at first and grew bitter. However, I am grateful to the people who have stood by my side outside of my corporate job, such as church and family, and who have helped me to reflect and not to be worried in facing the reality. I am now happier than I ever was in my previous company. Not only that, but I am in a job with great deal of flexibility, even full-time work from home.
Church sucks so does religion
Maybe they fired you because you were actually the worst worker, think about that
After 16 years? Probably not. Maybe you responded that way because you're insecure about your own work ethic and have fear of being fired for it, think about that
I lost my job as a wireless engineer at Huawei in Sudan , right after the war started before year and half , suffered from identity crisis because of that , until I learned to deattach and redifine myself
Wish saw this video earlier ☆
Woah I’m really sorry about this! Working in STEM in such a big electronics and tech company, you must be a big deal. The best of us think this stuff can never happen to us. Really sad about the war and its repercussions. Take care.
I am 21. And I just realised that I've been in an identity crisis from when I was 13. This video blew my mind, cuz I realised where I've been going wrong all my life. Thankyou so much for this.
It's easy to get lost in our careers and let them define us, but true fulfillment comes from embracing all aspects of our identity. Shifting focus from job titles to personal values can lead to a more balanced and joyful life.
thank you so much for saying this
I love this new Arthur Brooks series from HBR, he brings this tone of breezy candidness that balances the elegant seriousness of the subject matter. Please keep this up!
Americans are OBSESSED with work. The very first thing you get asked after meeting somebody other than your name is "What do you do for a living?" and no matter your response, you are instantly judged for the career path you chose, how much income you're assumed to have, and how successful you are or aren't in your field. And Heaven forbid if you're unemployed in this economy! In 100 years, you won't be around so why obsess so much about work? Or let others' useless opinions impact your sense of self?
Thank you
This meditation is helping me through a needed life change
It's not a uniquely American problem though. Take a look at Asia. You'd get disowned if you had a less than reputable job.
You haven't been to Germany 🙂
It’s not how others see me that is of concern. It’s me.
This is really helpful. For the past few years - I've been telling myself that my financial success cannot be the ONE THING that identifies me. I never thought of it as fear - but now that it's explained in this context - it is fear. The fear of failing (at least in your mind). Incredible insight.
Wow! My jaw is somewhere on the floor now. Didn't expect this depth and spirituality from HBR. Amazing video, and so inspiring! Big thanks
Wow, I am neither a budhist nor heard this idea before but whenever I feel like I will fail, I close my eyes and imagine my funeral. It is a complete relief.
I am seeing this, hearing this, feeling this at a moment in time in my life when I have been contemplating this. Arthur has a direct way of sharing a topic that most would consider sensitive, yet it has resonated with me in a good way. Looking forward to exploring this book sometime.
I think I had several micro-anxiety attacks watching this video
I did too
@nespodzany But did you feel at peace after this piece?
@@EstewCA I don't think I'm there quite yet, need more active practice.
😂
Me toooo 😭
Aside from letting go and being grateful for the opportunity to be part of building up society, I have a desire to continue being part of building up society in my own little way. Rather than looking at success in grandiosity, I want to reconnect and witness the growth of virtues in others.
The death meditation is also known in the western/christian practice as “momento mori”. Very powerful practice. I appreciate your commentary, thank you!
Yes, feeling afraid, fearful, or failing is normal, and I think we often feel anxious about it and about what people think. What should I do? Arthur’s remark about meditation being one of the good solutions to our problems is helpful.
This video is so intense. Exposure therapy to the worst possible fears.
I just left my inpatient nursing job and have been unemployed for a month and have been always wondering what more I can identify other being a nurse at hospital. I am still learning this and and this video couldn’t have been perfect timing!
I love this guy now. Great wisdom without being preachy.
this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood
'Managing your life as a project' - Wowww level analogy
As a Buddhist who has been practicing for 15 years - I really DIG the cheerful jazz in the background lol. (Trying to live in the moment ...;-)
“Engeneer new good times under diferent circumstances” is gold
This was like a hard slap at my face,,, thank you.
Simple, yet powerful…thank you
I have those exact realizations and i understand the reality of why i do and deal with it.
My party is finished two weeks back. I am in shock. Very refreshing to watch this video
You’re dead?
@@NESherv😂
This hit home! It’s crazy how an identity crisis can feel so overwhelming, but also be a chance for growth and self-discovery. 🙌 Thanks for shedding light on such a relatable topic. Anyone else feel like they’ve had to 'find themselves' more than once?
I love this. I'm not in business, but I am in academia, and I am getting older. His words resonate and his advice is applicable to me too.
His take is "admit the truth, it all sorta doesnt matter" is sorta feudalistic but i get it. But the TRUTH is you have inherent worth because you are a human being! You are ALIVE today and you are LOVED by others and by God. You need to explore and live in that love. Today, 150,000 people will cease to exist (statistically) but you will live today and there will not be another like you. You are valuable and that is why you dont put your identity in a career because YOU ARE MORE than a career not because "oh well, i will die one day so my career doesn't really matter" . I worry he has taken "positive thinking" and put it into "positive thinking negatively about 'reality of outcomes in the future" but the real answer is deeper than that. You are more than what you do.
“Feudalistic” means related to the political system of feudalism. What did he say that was related to exchanging land holding for military service 🤔. Or did you mean “fatalism”?
@@Nohandleentered yes you are correct
fatalistic
Please keep on this series ! Mr. Brooks is transferring out-of-world wisdom that we desperately need .
Beautiful message, thank you.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts! A great new perspective indeed.
This was one of the best videos I’ve seen in a while. Felt like a guided meditation for information I didn’t know I needed. Cheers.
Excellent advice and practise! Thank you very much!
This guy is crazy insightful! I love these videos
This is why I love Hardvard Content, It's so smart, people are so smart !
Killing you identity so is why people ponder over their deaths, the deaths lost their identity. I truly love smart content, it's so comforting in the misdt of useless content.
On the other side, as a personal story I'd like to share, I have never got a loss for perhaps all my life, and then I started an entrepreneurial journey and everything has only been about losing
I am thinking of similar trajectory for parents since their child is born and until they leave the nest. Thank you for the video. The Buddhist practices are helpful for people who are not monks as well
Amazing helpful and actionable. Thank you
We should be free to be ourselves and to be real. It is essential to our well-being and we neglect this at our own peril and demise.
If this video is an hour or two of wisdom and work therapy from Professor Arthur C. Brooks so be it! We need it. Please share it HBR!!
Thank you!
Professor...
Culture and history (including the "history of the Fmily" [family stories]; it can give wings/ even a sense of dignity, or keep you in limitations).
BR
*"Someone who has risen above his nation becomes someone exceptional". And hence: "The highest level of leadership is to lead other nations"
*But also the concept of a "transitional individual".
This is excellent advise. Every student should hear this at the beginning of each year (to be sure it actually sinks in - lol).
Awesome Content. 🔥
And the correct word is "Marananussathi" which loosely translates to "Keep the death in mind"
~A Buddhist from Sri Lanka~
Tailored suit is 👌
Ikr... Was scrolling to see who else caught that.
Arthur C. Brooks has truly found Nirvana, to be able to speak like this. Now, I want some of it too.
This is a powerful meditation tool and I think I can apply it to almost any shift or upcoming change… like aging. Thank you for the insight!
Interesting, I have very pragmatic approach. My job doesn't define who I am. What is the most important is what I am doing to feel like I am progressing in my life.
As I get older I realise how much money I make is how much value I have. This makes me have an existential crisis especially when my job does not impact people's lives that much or when I am unemployed. This is depressing. Yeah it's like fear of death. I wanna leave something behind that's useful for other people and Idk what it's.
I think here it may be worth looking outside of job: try to volunteer, sit on a board or as trustee of some non profit organization that is close to your values. Even if that is an hour a week being engaged in service for others can make you feel better. Or different approach - maybe your job itself does not bring much of a value to average people or planet (lots of jobs don’t as business is there to make money, not to serve) BUT the means you have because of that job can be a contribution to something altruistic, i.e donations to charities etc.
Want to leave something useful for people? Yeah, then that "something" needs to be bigger than yourself, and that's your tribe and your family, a dinasty, a legacy.
Why don't you write a book? All humans can pass down some form of knowledge.
@@DakotaFord592 I upload my lessons online. I am a teacher but I teach online. Part of me thinks it's part of my immortality. When I die I hope someone or some people can get something from my lessons I upload on UA-cam. It's more detailed and I actually spent hours on editing and making graphic designs so I hope one day they can appreciate my video lessons.
Very good, would like to see more of him.
I enjoy learning from you. Thank you for sharing the knowledge 🙏
I agree with all the things you just mentioned, but the problem is that the managerial people who control the corporate world, from CEO all the way down to the lower management, like most of them "want" us to have a high level of success in order for us to get hired, especially in high paying jobs that can mostly be found on companies with "names". They will ask you like what school did you come from or what kind of leadership do you have. And that would be a big problem especially for those who try to build up their career from the beginning (I feel sorry about the late bloomers). If you dont want us to have an identity crisis on careers, how can you change the "elitist" minds of these managers?
If you're in a job interview and they ask about your career, it makes sense, no? since you're going there to work, not make friends. But I think this video is talking about your own sense of self. When you ask yourself, who am I? And you answer your profession, it means your identity is tied to it, which isn't beneficial for you. You can't change other people, only yourself
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that if the people who came from a no name school with unattractive work experiences, especially if they lack leadership skills, they should humble themselves and stay at their current level of career instead of wishing for a higher level in order for them not to have identity crisis on careers? And the people with high IQ and well connected who are capable of becoming part of the elite are okay to level up without worries? That's very unfair I would say. Take note if you want to level up experiencing identity crisis on careers would exist, and one way is to woo these elitist minded managers and people at the bottom who has low IQs and lack of networks cannot do anything about that, because that is how the system works.
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that people like with low IQs and have no networks need to humble themselves instead of wishing and trying to reach for a higher level careers in order for them to avoid identity crisis on careers when they fail, and at the same time people that belong to upper strata can easily reach out high careers without worries even though they fail? I dont think that's a fair play.
There should come an end to all our projects in this life... this is a truth
Such a great vided, thank you :)
Very insightful!
So in short imagining a career nightmare will set me free? Very interesting and counter intuitive! As a person who always have too much thought and worries of others judgement, should I try this instead of repeating self empowerment comment?
This man's communication skills are impressive
Intuitive for any religious person
Wow, 2:00 is HBR xTheravada at their best ❤
Those steps sound great to me though! Retirement is a great prospect! I think for me a 9 step meditation should include the horrors of being replaced by AI in the field where I enjoy working.
I feel like this practice needs to be monitored by good therapists cause despite its benefit, it may be suitable for people with anxiety, but may not be for someone with depression.
For people with depression, what can help lift them up each day is hope, but reminding themselves about their worst fears, it's not the kind of mindset that's suitable for someone who's already lost hope in life. They'd forget the "despite changes, it's going to be okay" part and focus on the negatives instead
Great advice. Ty.
I often go through decisions with a pre-mortem approach to make the “worst case scenario” feel less scary (or to take some control back in it) but the key takeaway from this video for me was: if not work, what defines me that cannot be taken away from me?
It put me back in the perspective that it matters more to be a good human than a good employee/ professional. I don’t want to be remembered for my work successes, but for my kindness or intelligence for example.
Self realization
Preparing mentally for the end of a career helps reduce fear and allows us to live more fully in the present.
I choose to be special instead of happy... that is a succinct way to put it.
So long as one is part of society one will always seek one's identity within that society. Only humans who live in extreme conditions (far removed from human civilization) or those who are self-actualised and no longer identify with even their own body can avoid this "identity crisis". "Who we are" is a dynamic question, so the answer can't be static either.
Just incredible !
Very easy to be at peace when you don’t have money problem
"people are so afraid of failing at work" never been less related to a phrase in my life. My job is just something that pays my bill. At most, I'm afraid of loosing the capacity to pay my bills, but that's it.
#7 made me feel panic. I was ok up til then. I can see it happening.
Excellent
I really liked this video, but it’s very interesting thinking about people in politics. Usually they are over 50 years old. Even the presidents are usually over 60 years old. So why this isn’t applicable for them?
I think to have this sort of mentality first requires a lot of self confidence
When asked "who are you?" my first impulse was always to say "I'm a human being" But that sounds weird to people so "I'm an interpreter. We're working together with my husband. We've been happily married for 25 years. We have two grown up sons" is what I say instead
Then HOW to introduce ourselves? (Expected this anwer in the video)
I give vague and cryptic responses to the questions, "who are you? what do you do? where are you from? Etc"
People are usually trying to quickly label (judge) you, not trying to get to know you.
@@rustyshackle917 That's true. Thank you for giving this good idea to reply to them vaguely. What else we can tell?
thanks I’m not at all at peace, actually my anxiety has skyrocketed now and I’m only the start of my career
Now you guys know this technique better than most Thais. ❤
I was thinking all the way… isn’t that the normal? And then he said people think of it as failure, but is normal.
Prioritising work, career and productivity can be a dangerous trap. You are worth more than how much money you earn. You are more than your occupation.
Arthur ❤
Thank you
Better quality of life
I'm a dairy clerk. You have to do it.
JANAM SE SABSE POPULAR...NAAM WALA🎉🎉🎉
I like this person
Put myself in a position to lose not realizing it
pretty good!
Smaller is more manageable and better quality of life
A man is known by his career and a woman is judged by her looks۔ unfortunate but true!
Recycle bins are extra trash storage for cardboard. Cardboard fills trash too fast. They're highly regarded recycle bins.
Nice suit.
Nice video
Am I the only person that feels this man give the information in the most sarcastic way and leave all of us panicked😅😂
Exposure therapy through meditation.
I'm afraid of faling at work. Even tumy mistakes make me worry and panic so I am freezing sometimes like I can't think and handle my job, problem.
If only I could have convinced my younger self of this.
I'm curious about the 20% of people fearing death statistic. From talking to lots of people about death, it seems like nearly all people fear death, but there is a large variety of ways in which people deal with the fear.
Amazing
I don't wanna manage this house anymore too many uncontrollable factors that wanna make you hate life