Autism Hiding in Plain Sight (Masking or Camouflaging)

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 109

  • @alexanderkorhonen9790
    @alexanderkorhonen9790 2 роки тому +44

    I'm 12 and just got diagnosed with Asperger's. At first I didn't believe it, because I could go to a normal school and live my daily life normally. I can relate very well to Connor and his symptons.

    • @lari.sso_11
      @lari.sso_11 Рік тому +5

      Yeah me too, my whole life I was going to the normal school like the other. I got diagnosed at 14, that was on the holiday and after that I went to the last year of primary school and we told them because there was some facilities for Asperger's like more time and something like that. Then I went to a normal high school because me and my parents didn't think that's necessary for me to went to the special school. Actually we never told anyone when I went to high school about my disorder cause I didn't want to. My mum told me that I should tell because it will be better and easier for me. People will understand why I'm acting so weird(sometimes I have not nice situation, because of my social problems but it's not a big deal for me and they happen rarely) I told her that I didn't want to tell them and even though I think that I'm doing pretty good.

    • @st0tcherz
      @st0tcherz 10 місяців тому

      f-fuck!~

  • @nicoledickson6099
    @nicoledickson6099 2 роки тому +39

    thanks for this video. I'm high functioning like Connor and have all the same traits as him. I'm also usually mistaken for a normal kid due to my work and academic process being great, even though my motor skills have declined, and my social skills non existent. So, I can feel you guys.

  • @TheRdfrota
    @TheRdfrota 2 роки тому +20

    Thank you for this video. As a parent of a toddler that is "borderline on the spectrum". Watching your family brings alot of positivity and awareness.

  • @HappyHoney41
    @HappyHoney41 2 роки тому +22

    I was trained not to stim (rocking), how to not speak in a monotone manner; and periodically look at people's eyes (I look at their mouths, nose, and foreheads). All of the hiding traits is helpful for the people around us, but it causes anxiety. Masking is needed to move around in society, but it is at a cost of internal stress.

  • @AmandaJames-wp4uc
    @AmandaJames-wp4uc 10 місяців тому +2

    Wow this is fascinating … I used to do so many of these things growing up & it’s only now I tested myself to see if I could be Autistic. I used to constantly fidget with my hands I remember training myself to stop & once flapping my arms around in a panic attack, always sensitive to noises & things.
    I really did teach myself to mask - everything.
    It’s strange how I remember walking around tip toes. I always had poor circulation & bad gut troubles which developed into autoimmunity, I struggled to read without feeling nauseous! Things started improving when I changed my diet… and then when I looked to reverse autoimmunity & heal my gut. I did 4 years of research & wrote some books - all symbolic so I could remember & see clearer how things work. I was astonished I was able to read books , and became less anxious. Trauma set of more stress in my body so learning to destress & feel safe was valuable & I came across this book which just confirmed more things I already learnt in other books. Gut & Phycology syndrome by
    Dr Natasha Campbell-McBride
    It’s a great book as the woman who wrote her son had Asperger’s. I thought it was a great view point.

  • @beanj580
    @beanj580 2 роки тому +16

    Love this video
    Even my son's special education teacher labels my son as something other than autism because he is very high functioning.
    The ignorance even extends to medical health professionals, teachers, therapist, etc. Very insightful video. Thanks for sharing!

  • @dollydagger8492
    @dollydagger8492 2 роки тому +71

    Eye contact is like kissing a stranger..please don't force it.

    • @darthmader057mmm6
      @darthmader057mmm6 Рік тому +9

      I've got aspergers and I'm pretty good with eye contact. I feel like aspergers and autism are so different that they should be considered separate disorders.

    • @annacrawford1006
      @annacrawford1006 Рік тому +5

      @@darthmader057mmm6 They are completely different disorders.

    • @kittenanime9921
      @kittenanime9921 Рік тому +2

      @@annacrawford1006 Asperger's and Autism used to be on the same Spectrum as each other, but more research was done, and now they are separated.

    • @bootyandthebeast8365
      @bootyandthebeast8365 Рік тому +7

      @@kittenanime9921 I think you have it backwards-- Asperger's and autism were previously considered separate but are now categorized under one disorder, ASD, autism spectrum disorder. Asperger's was a term created by Hans Asperger, who previously referred to it as autistic psychopathy. Asperger's was a diagnosis given to people on the autism spectrum who could fall into "level one" autism, meaning lower support needs than others. Asperger's is widely no longer considered a diagnosis, in part for Hans Asperger's nazi involvement, where he sent disabled and autistic children to a "clinic" where they would often be killed, and the other part being that they simply aren't separate disorders. Autism and Asperger's are one in the same--that is why it is called a spectrum. Those on the spectrum have a variety of ways and intensities in which it affects them individually.

    • @LMA0x
      @LMA0x Рік тому +1

      THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS- I always have such a shy, but strangely uncomfortable feeling when trying to make eye contact. I’m not forced to do so or anything, and am training MYSELF to make more eye contact when doing things like discussing with others since it’s more polite; though, I feel like some should at least understand this specific factor as well in our autism :) and how anxiety-inducing it can be…at least, for some reason. lol

  • @HerMarshmallow
    @HerMarshmallow 8 місяців тому +1

    Hi Autism Family! My name is Hadley Elizabeth, and I'm a 12 year old female on the spectrum. Throughout most of my life I had meltdowns every day after school, had no friends and avoided being around other people. I used to have big stims when I was alone but did my best to hide them at school and in public. Because I was a girl I was just written off as "shy." Now, I've been diagnosed with low support need autism and I am so grateful to have found this channel. Thank you so much for all of your videos. I love you guys, and I hope everything is still going well.

  • @kittenslikestars
    @kittenslikestars 4 місяці тому +1

    It's strange how far masking can get you. When I was eight, I once had to be dragged, literally dragged, through one of those horror walkthroughs, kicking, screaming, and crying. I was begging to go out one of the many exits and no one was listening to me. There was a hallway where a lot of people's hands reached out and touched my arms, the lights were flickering, and every once in a while they would spray water on us. It was a sensory nightmare and I was responding accordingly. I didn't talk for a week after it. And my meltdowns have only gotten worse.
    A while ago, I spent two and a half hours sitting in the shower, hitting and scratching myself with the water as hot as it could go. It was summer and I'd been sweating out in the woods for hours. I panicked after finding a couple of ticks on myself.
    Despite many instances like this, very few people have ever suggested I might be autistic, or anything of the sort, and every time they have it's been discarded by others. Because I grew up in a (well-meaning) neglectful household, I had to learn how to navigate myself and my needs pretty much on my own. Masking, especially learning to live with constant and extreme discomfort, became a necessity. So while I outwardly can appear very functional, behind that there are years and years of effort and repression. I've been known to have full on panic attacks over hunger before, so I'm sure my sensory profile is a bit of a hell on earth compared to most neurotypicals's.
    Not that I am necessarily trying to self-diagnose, but my brother's diagnosed so I don't think it would be too crazy to assume. My brother learned to talk at about the same time as me (4 years old) and seems to have less trouble with both sensory and social interaction, but obviously I'm not him so I have no real way of knowing. I'm guessing I was (potentially) missed because of the masking and also my gender?
    (My living arrangement, although changed, is still not an environment where I would want to discuss any personal hardships. Waiting until adulthood to see anyone about it.)
    Anyway! Experiences of someone who masks a lot. I do not know the ins and outs of anyone else's experiences, but I can say that this has led to months of catatonic depression, as well as suicidal ideation. It is by no means easy!

  • @fieryeurochick3194
    @fieryeurochick3194 3 місяці тому +1

    I had no idea my son was autistic until the doctor pointed out certain things. He was 5, ready to start school. I didn’t know there was a spectrum. He’s better but now we know better.

  • @Steviemarie502
    @Steviemarie502 2 роки тому +22

    My nephew is very high functioning. He's VERY similar to your son. Thankfully we noticed early and taught him that it's ok to be you. We've been blessed to find a great school (public school, in regular classes) that he now thrives in. Thank you for putting putting these videos out to educate people in such a thorough way.

  • @gazsto
    @gazsto 2 місяці тому +1

    My son is just the same; he's attracted to water, which requires constant vigilance due to the inherent dangers. It's a significant challenge, yet there are rewarding days as well. Parenting can be tough, but consider for a moment the child's experience, as they search for methods to find solace, comfort, and reassurance. The anxiety they endure is overwhelming and deeply distressing.

  • @katharinelamarche4380
    @katharinelamarche4380 Рік тому +1

    I am so thankful for you. A blessing to the world. It can be so lonely and highlights our insecurities… as parents etc.

  • @tgrant9383
    @tgrant9383 10 місяців тому +1

    I am so grateful for your videos. Thank you Connor, I appreciate your sharing your life and thoughts about Asperger's. My son is 33 years old and has dealt with bullying and cyberbullying throughout his life. Our greatest challenge has been in helping him with discernment. He takes everyone at face value and assumes they all have his best interest at heart. Unfortunately, being "gullible" seems to attract into his/our lives people with malicious and even criminal intent. We have worked through the stemming, twitching, looking away to avoid eye contact, and shirts inside out - these actions are not "bad" but different. Society pushes for sameness by ostracizing those who are different. And yet, it is our differences that make who we are so special.

  • @antonvilla1612
    @antonvilla1612 10 місяців тому +2

    Hes finding a way to overcome certain problems he recognizes.

  • @JonnyOwenTunes
    @JonnyOwenTunes Рік тому +3

    You two are such wonderful loving parents.

  • @Pw1zoLive
    @Pw1zoLive 3 місяці тому +1

    I relate to conor alot . I just got a diagnosis for dispraxia a month ago after getting my asd diegnosis . Hes a nice kid and you are luckie to have him 😊

  • @iloveshaakah
    @iloveshaakah 2 роки тому +6

    Thank you for educating people about the spectrum.

  • @jenniferbatey3154
    @jenniferbatey3154 2 роки тому +14

    My daughter is a lot like Connor. The toe walking has improved, but she often ignores kids at school, and prefers to play alone. Being an autistic girl looks a little different as well and often gets missed. Thanks for your videos.

    • @checkmate9756
      @checkmate9756 Рік тому +4

      My autism was missed until I was 20. I’m a female with high functioning autism. My parents just believed I had anger issues, and was socially awkward, etc.

  • @BipolarCourage
    @BipolarCourage 2 роки тому +7

    Eye contact is overrated. I am 50 & still avoid eye contact. When it is forced, it was distressing. Looking in the general direction is enough if want to give the impression that listening. I actually listen better if don't make eye contact & doodle.

    • @andrijanaognj
      @andrijanaognj Рік тому

      ooo my Gosh am doing the same thing it's just mor clear bc i don't think about color of eyes and face deferenceas and then i cant concentrate on what that person is saying 😅

  • @chessqld5877
    @chessqld5877 Рік тому +1

    Appreciate your honesty … your a great dad!

  • @BMarie774
    @BMarie774 2 роки тому +8

    I feel so sad that Connor feels he needs to mask. He doesn’t. There’s millions of people out there who would literally not even bat an eye if he was stimming. As someone with sensory issues and severe OCD that manifests physically into misophonia and repeated physical ritual behaviors, I know the torture of trying to mask stimming… it’s literal torture and I just with Connor knew he didn’t need to inflict that torture upon himself, especially not because of other people…

  • @antonvilla1612
    @antonvilla1612 10 місяців тому +1

    Im not the parent, but i find the term Masking, to implie hiding.

  • @ravenID429
    @ravenID429 2 роки тому +5

    The off and on again thing makes sense, I really only avoid eye contact if I'm already upset or stressed and it's probably common

  • @carol-annequigley7815
    @carol-annequigley7815 Рік тому +1

    This is exactly like my son. Still havent got a diagnosis yet but he does alot of these things daily. Mostly hand flapping and not interacting with his classmates.
    Most people dismiss me when i tell them i think he has asd. They don't see what we see at home. He is struggling a bit in school though and the teacher has noticed walking on tip toes. He is very talkative at times and his construction skills are awesome.

  • @Amber_Vegan_Brighton_England
    @Amber_Vegan_Brighton_England 2 роки тому +6

    0:23 if anyone said that to me, I wouldn’t even know how I’d react.
    Keep up the amazing parenting of your amazing children ❤

  • @LisaLGruman
    @LisaLGruman Рік тому +1

    What a sweet family.

  • @EnriqueMartinezTrashTrucks
    @EnriqueMartinezTrashTrucks Рік тому +2

    I liked how the way Ian was singing

  • @brettjames1992
    @brettjames1992 Рік тому +3

    I've had people think I'm retarded, but I have high functioning autism, and I can do a lot of things.

  • @kimberlybanks-brown7525
    @kimberlybanks-brown7525 2 роки тому +2

    “Rolling”….I love that answer! Lol

  • @mariaf7706
    @mariaf7706 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for sharing.

  • @Theleaddog
    @Theleaddog 12 днів тому

    Autism didn’t exist when I was young. This is why I was diagnosed late in life. I struggled so much as a youngster. I still do but I don’t mask anymore so I am working on managing life and I am nailing it!

  • @DeborahAnnsuperversatile
    @DeborahAnnsuperversatile 2 роки тому +8

    My girl hides it and people really misunderstand her. I, as her mom, really worry about her.

    • @Jackisokidoki
      @Jackisokidoki 2 роки тому +6

      Definitely get that. I’m 17 and I’m autistic (ASD). I mask or hide it all the time because I have a lot of trauma form being bullied because I “was” different from everyone else. And my mom who doesn’t agree with me and my therapist that I have autism, because “I don’t show a lot signs of it” it’s because I’m literally hiding it and hiding my actual self from everyone else. I have started to slowly brake out of this cycle, but it’s not an easy thing.
      The thing I will say is, be there for her. and tell her that even tho people misunderstand you, there are people who are willing to understand and people who are accepting :))

    • @nrodry76
      @nrodry76 2 роки тому +4

      I just want to give both of you a hug. 🤗🤗

    • @DeborahAnnsuperversatile
      @DeborahAnnsuperversatile 2 роки тому +3

      @@Jackisokidoki I feel for you too. And thank you 👍🙂

    • @DeborahAnnsuperversatile
      @DeborahAnnsuperversatile 2 роки тому +1

      @@nrodry76 thank you so much. Means a lot 🙂

    • @gameslash6208
      @gameslash6208 2 роки тому +2

      I hide my autism. But someone from school found out

  • @carlatroncoso1821
    @carlatroncoso1821 Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing ❤ your kids are amazing!!!

  • @Knight-cm3bx
    @Knight-cm3bx 2 роки тому +4

    People with Autism hid it to fell safe for many reson and for me i think it to stay clam then break down.

  • @vanessalang2018
    @vanessalang2018 2 роки тому +5

    I have autism and I tend to be klutzy too. Its like i trip over everything

  • @AnneAndAnly
    @AnneAndAnly 11 місяців тому +1

    I would recommend getting feet braces, it will definitely help the toe walking. Just maybe go to your local paediatrician or the doctor and see if you can get any or talk to any therapist and just see if it's the right fit!!💞

  • @pinkaxol8015
    @pinkaxol8015 2 роки тому +3

    I stub my toes semi-regularly and I still can't tie shoe lances at the age of 18. I really like this channel and I commented on lots of your videos.

    • @bragglist
      @bragglist Рік тому

      But you can write a paragraph

  • @diptivernekar7812
    @diptivernekar7812 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks for the video.
    How did you work on the language? My 4 year old son is also diagnosed with Asperger's and he is way behind in language compared to his peers.

  • @JamesandHarry
    @JamesandHarry Рік тому +1

    How old is Connor now? Did he have speech delay? I think my son is HF he’s 8 now in mainstream school and had dramatic improvement too initially diagnosed moderate but he also has global developmental delay dx plus in the pandemics he didn’t have speech therapy 😢hope he can get as good as Connor.

    • @TechDeviceFixerCZ
      @TechDeviceFixerCZ 10 місяців тому

      I think he's 12 (calculated from an old video where they said his birth date) 😉

    • @Sonicfan-cc1te
      @Sonicfan-cc1te 7 місяців тому

      He’s 13 now

  • @Misszebyrobloxvideos756
    @Misszebyrobloxvideos756 4 місяці тому +2

    i mask sometimes

    • @Misszebyrobloxvideos756
      @Misszebyrobloxvideos756 4 місяці тому +2

      i pretend my fingers are spiders and when it was i think 2020 i used to do it when i was 8 or 9 and also i used to hand flap but now its just when im exited i jump up and down and hand flap and also i used to stand on my toes and used to say im taller and when im choosing what breakfast i want i stand on my toes to this day Edit: in school i hit my leg if im upset or really exited or at random times and i dont make eye contact 2nd Edit: and also i think i mask cause most people dont know or see 3rd Edit: i have meltdowns sometimes 4th Edit: i hate really bright lights and also i have black ear defenders cause i hate loud noises

  • @mjinfl967
    @mjinfl967 Рік тому +1

    Thank you❤

  • @raykelly4593
    @raykelly4593 2 роки тому +3

    Very helpful

  • @KodyBeld
    @KodyBeld 5 місяців тому +1

    I hate my family. Everyone of them laughed at me for autism side. There's add in there with odd because of the raw 90s comedy. Comedy Central and my stupid family should get married.

    • @AutismFamilyChannel
      @AutismFamilyChannel  5 місяців тому +1

      Sorry for your struggles. Hope things get better

    • @KodyBeld
      @KodyBeld 5 місяців тому

      @@AutismFamilyChannel nah I pushed neurotypicals into more than usual questions. I had added effeminate stuff in there beyond our ability to be child like and connect to I guess the mother spirit. Dad's public school spirit was always a mess because I had to mirror my porno happy confused dudes.
      Remember autistics, they don't know. We'd have to cover a lot of awareness and understand. First step, trash all the "retarded" slurs and full blown negative portrayals in Hollywood. Now I feel like an enemy and I was at a lower function, similar in my raise my own disorder, childhood.
      As uncomfortable as my psychedelic trips where, that's when I become a normal, but weird socially person. My add wouldn't let the drugs go though. I'm assuming why the drug problem so bad. The oppositional defiance and unfocused burnout nature of the add.
      I do pray for him. Those body stimming ticks are uncomfortable and embarrassing. I feel for him. I'm sorry.

  • @YoureMyCherryOnTop143
    @YoureMyCherryOnTop143 Рік тому +1

    I used to masked in middle school until when I started a new school I felt comfortable of who I was

  • @neilrocks84roblox19
    @neilrocks84roblox19 2 роки тому +5

    Stimming is NOT doing something wrong.

  • @emilykiaellis1780
    @emilykiaellis1780 2 роки тому +3

    I have autism I need blue tack to help me with my hand

  • @Pw1zoLive
    @Pw1zoLive Рік тому +2

    I have been shouted at for not responding to teachers in school and i never talk unless i am on a discord call with a person and i HATE eye contact and evern tho people have been trying to make it better including me is staying the same. Ive had to leave my classes quite offen because the volume gets to over welmbing and i am 14 right now and my spelling age is 6 and my readying age is 7 so quite bad apparently but i lesrn stuf quicker than most people apparently for egsampl my mums friend introdused me to a game with over 200 rules and stuf you need to do and i rememberd all of it after 1 game a we didnt p.ay it agwin until a month later and i ended up getting double his score and hes
    Played alot more thwn me 😅 keep the good videos up and idm if you only upload 1 video a month as long as the chwnnle dosnt die i am ok

    • @Katter_.
      @Katter_. 2 місяці тому

      what game was it? Was it dungeons & dragons?

    • @Pw1zoLive
      @Pw1zoLive Місяць тому +1

      @Katter_. No its called terra mystica it's also happend with cattan with some stuf we added to it ... This happend when I was 10 sooo i don't know how it happend but it did lol

    • @Katter_.
      @Katter_. Місяць тому

      @@Pw1zoLive oh cool

  • @Christian_Martinez_yt
    @Christian_Martinez_yt Рік тому +1

    Sweep under what rug

  • @jessicabundangkat3152
    @jessicabundangkat3152 2 роки тому +2

    Nice video how old is Connor how are his academics in class some autistic can be above average does he do good at math or science

  • @benl4707
    @benl4707 2 роки тому +1

    I have 2 questions to ask you from your enlightenment about this disorder ..So can someone get off the spectrum? Also this is a social disorder when does individuality, confidence factor in?

    • @JohnGodwin777
      @JohnGodwin777 2 роки тому +2

      I was very high functioning, most people had no idea I was on the spectrum. In middle age, for various reasons, I have become even more high functioning, somewhat more neurotypical. That being said, I’m still on the spectrum and I don’t think there’s anything that will change that, so the answer to your question I think is no.

    • @kysscum111
      @kysscum111 2 роки тому

      This is ableist asf

    • @kysscum111
      @kysscum111 2 роки тому

      Autism isnt a disorder, and its not one about being social either. Autism is a neurotype, its normal. Confidence helps the person unmask, thats all

    • @kysscum111
      @kysscum111 2 роки тому

      /gen

    • @kysscum111
      @kysscum111 2 роки тому

      @@JohnGodwin777I know you're also autistic, but can you not use functioning labels? They're harmful and were created to know which autistic people to keep, and kill. You cant be "almost neurotypical" either. Autism is autism, it's a spectrum, not a scale. We all have different support needs, struggles, and strengths. And yeah, you can't randomly not be autistic, I agree with that. On the other hand, You're either autistic or you're not, there's no scale from "very neurotypical" to "very autistic." It's just not how it works. This is genuine, and I hope you understand where I'm coming from

  • @shahjmir
    @shahjmir 2 роки тому +4

    connor is the cutest kid

  • @kaib1712
    @kaib1712 Рік тому +1

    I have the same kind of autism as Conner

  • @jenniferb5795
    @jenniferb5795 Рік тому +1

    ❤️💙

  • @hildadun6116
    @hildadun6116 2 роки тому +2

    Hey my name is Bethany I have a autism to

  • @NEPatsfanclub
    @NEPatsfanclub 2 роки тому +2

    I can’t stand that scream 😞

  • @gaylecheung3087
    @gaylecheung3087 Рік тому +1

    Notice a lot of fast food.

    • @Katter_.
      @Katter_. 2 місяці тому

      or rather, unhealthy food with so much salt and sugar and not a good supply of vitamins..

  • @gamer546lg5
    @gamer546lg5 Рік тому

    0:27 they do

  • @matchmakermaria5807
    @matchmakermaria5807 2 роки тому

    Bro really out here grilling his kids like a talk show host

  • @TMM6900
    @TMM6900 Рік тому

    Dam... Im afraid that i may got autism

  • @PrincePrince-hz6gn
    @PrincePrince-hz6gn 2 роки тому

    Pleaaaas we neeed tradition with arabic