I am 29 years old and this is why my mom complains and dont understand why I'm always depressed and why I shut her out in my life.. I never spoke to her about this, about how she cut so deep with her tongue as I was growing up.. till this day o never forgave her. Till this day I beat myself up to make sure I do better for myself and no one else and try my best to remove negativity from my life. This made me cry so hard. When I have children I'm breaking the chain
I had a very difficult childhood, I was a professional tennis player, my dad was my coach since I was 7yo. I thought the way he talked to me was normal, cuz he said he was treating me like that because he wanted the best for me, he wanted me to be successful. I was a kid who wanted to be the best and I always gave my best, but it was never enough, one day he says "you are the best", and the other he treats me like shit, insulting me of all the worst names that exists," such a hore, such a disappointment, I regret having you, I regret everything and you are my biggest regret and deception". He would pull me against the wall, once he almost hitted my head with the tennis racquet, I think god saved me that day, cuz I dunno what would've happen if that racquet hitted my head that day. I couldn't say anything, I had to shut up, obei and if somewhere was hurting, I was making excuses, he said. The thing is that I always went through my injuries, but sometimes it hurts too much you can't hide it. Once he said, "you are scared of me aren't ya?" Almost with a smirk on his face, as if he was proud of that. And he played with my mind, I'm doing my best to build me back up but I feel like I have no right to have feelings and emotions cuz he always said it wasn't valid. I tend to overthink my feelings, thinking it's wrong. I didn't have friends, it was home, school, tennis, repeat. I didn't had a life, and I'm still suffering from the things he said. I'm 20yo, I stopped tennis a few months ago, took me 13 years to realize how toxic he was, and so is my mom and brother. But somehow I still have a bit of love for them, cuz they are my family, but when I'm alone with them, every single day, tend to overthink a lot and feel anxious and get shaking hands. I just don't feel the right to feel things that aren't positive. Thank you if someone read all of what I wrote, there's still so much to write but this will be fine.
@@sanomanjiro8356 I hope that you're doing better as well my parents are starting to yell at me for every little thing every Labor Day weekend they only healed at me or came in my room to talk to me to see if my room was clean at that time my room wasn't even that bad as it was I had been cleaning my room for two and a half weeks at that point my room was a disaster
@@rosetaylor8116 I hope that IT will get better even tho for me it's confusing cuz they tell at me for stupid things and then they act like nothing happened
How can you give man verbal abuse straight come the hood must of been you you didn’t get touched but still left used must of been you my Air Force ones got forced plbrand new
“She’s not moping around like a pile of trash, she’s busy trying to bring her soul to life from this pile of ash.” This.
I am 29 years old and this is why my mom complains and dont understand why I'm always depressed and why I shut her out in my life.. I never spoke to her about this, about how she cut so deep with her tongue as I was growing up.. till this day o never forgave her. Till this day I beat myself up to make sure I do better for myself and no one else and try my best to remove negativity from my life. This made me cry so hard. When I have children I'm breaking the chain
IslandStarr11 #breakthechain
I’m going thru the same thing right now and I’m ready to break this chain starting now
This is exactly how my life has been for as long as I can remember. Thank you.
damn I’m crying the first minute this is me rn. Thank you for this. At least I know I’m not alone.
you never are, and you never will be
I had a very difficult childhood, I was a professional tennis player, my dad was my coach since I was 7yo. I thought the way he talked to me was normal, cuz he said he was treating me like that because he wanted the best for me, he wanted me to be successful.
I was a kid who wanted to be the best and I always gave my best, but it was never enough, one day he says "you are the best", and the other he treats me like shit, insulting me of all the worst names that exists," such a hore, such a disappointment, I regret having you, I regret everything and you are my biggest regret and deception". He would pull me against the wall, once he almost hitted my head with the tennis racquet, I think god saved me that day, cuz I dunno what would've happen if that racquet hitted my head that day.
I couldn't say anything, I had to shut up, obei and if somewhere was hurting, I was making excuses, he said. The thing is that I always went through my injuries, but sometimes it hurts too much you can't hide it.
Once he said, "you are scared of me aren't ya?" Almost with a smirk on his face, as if he was proud of that.
And he played with my mind, I'm doing my best to build me back up but I feel like I have no right to have feelings and emotions cuz he always said it wasn't valid. I tend to overthink my feelings, thinking it's wrong.
I didn't have friends, it was home, school, tennis, repeat. I didn't had a life, and I'm still suffering from the things he said. I'm 20yo, I stopped tennis a few months ago, took me 13 years to realize how toxic he was, and so is my mom and brother. But somehow I still have a bit of love for them, cuz they are my family, but when I'm alone with them, every single day, tend to overthink a lot and feel anxious and get shaking hands. I just don't feel the right to feel things that aren't positive.
Thank you if someone read all of what I wrote, there's still so much to write but this will be fine.
You’re not alone ❤️
OMG this make me cry, this actually talk to me
Words hurt more
Im enjoying the goosebumps🥺
Watching this trying to heal myself from family verbal abuse
Nice to know am not alone 😭
I needed this poem
Omg you spoke a lot of real my love
RESPECT💯🔥
Perfectly said🙏🙏🙏
Story of my life
“That c+ that c+ she’s brought home 3 times this year is the only thing that reminds her to C past your bitter words”
I’m 14, and sometimes I don’t get why she doesn’t understand.
im 14 too and i cut out my grandmother bc she was toxic i moved about 1 and a half years ago and haven't heard her voise in 3 months and i love it
I am 14 too and my parents and starting to be toxic and rejecting me.
@@rosetaylor8116 I hope you are doing better now
@@sanomanjiro8356 I hope that you're doing better as well my parents are starting to yell at me for every little thing every Labor Day weekend they only healed at me or came in my room to talk to me to see if my room was clean at that time my room wasn't even that bad as it was I had been cleaning my room for two and a half weeks at that point my room was a disaster
@@rosetaylor8116 I hope that IT will get better even tho for me it's confusing cuz they tell at me for stupid things and then they act like nothing happened
wow !!
Wow love it
“She’s not mapping around like a pile of trash she’s busy trying to bring her soul to life from this pile of ash”
sounds just like my mom... even worse.. i try to deal with it but sometimes i just cant deal with it ive been dealing with it since i was 6 years old
Wow me too
Wow.
Ok I cried
It's sad how I relate😭😭💔
My childhood
Wow this is so sad but beautifully written.
Good jb
👍🏼
👀
Does anyone want to have the power to turn on and off your hearing?
Me please
With these kind of people yes!
I am so tired
How can you give man verbal abuse straight come the hood must of been you you didn’t get touched but still left used must of been you my Air Force ones got forced plbrand new
👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿
Nice to know am not alone 😭