Binaural Potato Microphones [ VegeTech ASMR ]

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  • @Saberspark
    @Saberspark 8 років тому +2573

    This video is my guilty pleasure...

    • @thepotatotank4727
      @thepotatotank4727 8 років тому +104

      Your video brought me here

    • @richardroberson2564
      @richardroberson2564 8 років тому +45

      your video brought me hear

    • @fighendrick6509
      @fighendrick6509 8 років тому +89

      +Saberspark YOU DID THIS TO ME!! YOU HAVE SENT ME SPIRALING DOWN A NEVER ENDING LINE OF WEIRD ASMR SHIT

    • @haxfiles7085
      @haxfiles7085 8 років тому +24

      Thanks, Saber. You've given me even weirder asmr to listen to.

    • @speedkeed8287
      @speedkeed8287 8 років тому +16

      +Saberspark yeah....without you I would of never found this...I liked the wierd parts of youtube video u made doe

  • @TheASMRAngel
    @TheASMRAngel 9 років тому +976

    Can anyone else see faces in both of those potatoes?

    • @JamesGamesASMR
      @JamesGamesASMR 9 років тому +4

      Two scrunched up faces.

    • @TheASMRAngel
      @TheASMRAngel 9 років тому +23

      the one on the left has no nose and a wonky mouth and the one on the right has wonky eyes but a little triangle nose :-)

    • @jessicaspurlock847
      @jessicaspurlock847 9 років тому +14

      I can't unsee them now.

    • @TwoThreadsAhead
      @TwoThreadsAhead 9 років тому +13

      Yup, the one on the lefts all like " Whatcha lookin' at bro ? " and the one on the rights like " Me eye, me eyeeee "

    • @djsbriscoe
      @djsbriscoe 9 років тому +4

      the left one looks like sleepy from the seven dwarfs.

  • @breannadean4163
    @breannadean4163 2 роки тому +88

    I’m pretty sure this is the first ER video I ever watched. And here I am, 7 years later, watching it yet again.

  • @LadyPallas
    @LadyPallas 8 років тому +860

    Plot twist. The video was also recorded on a potato.

    • @onymitystudios3706
      @onymitystudios3706 6 років тому +3

      Mr. Classy that other guy wasn't very classy, if I do say so myself

    • @kasperijarvinen3055
      @kasperijarvinen3055 6 років тому +2

      -What is your prosessor that you are using when u record a video??
      -It is a potato ofc
      lol it is a funny meme in finland @chester

    • @brickbuilderconstructions2396
      @brickbuilderconstructions2396 6 років тому +6

      Plot twist to that plot twist is that he is a potato

    • @parker-boy98
      @parker-boy98 5 років тому +1

      Pretty good quality

    • @parker-boy98
      @parker-boy98 5 років тому +1

      @@brickbuilderconstructions2396 Really? I didn't know that, I thought he was a lizard person

  • @jss8073
    @jss8073 8 років тому +897

    Mr. Rift, I'm still expecting that "How to keep a pet Potato" video. Do you have a release date set, or is this unconfirmed?
    Edit- THE DEED IS DONE

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  8 років тому +190

      +red breaker47 And I keep forgetting about it! I'll try to get around to it sooner than later (ie. this year!)

    • @jss8073
      @jss8073 8 років тому +41

      Ephemeral Rift :P You know, this was a joke comment. Ah, well. I do like the fact that you respond to your users (And are quite positive about what they say.)

    • @malthenielsen9389
      @malthenielsen9389 8 років тому +5

      I will be watching any ER ASMR videos. As long it gives me tingles I don't care the title or the meaning by the video.

    • @gamzee3651
      @gamzee3651 8 років тому

      +Ephemeral Rift I commented of er I feel accomplished

    • @thejollysloth5743
      @thejollysloth5743 8 років тому +4

      If you wish to see a live human potato then visit the youtube channel of "jason genova". He is the first real life human potato with moving arms and legs.

  • @garysirico1245
    @garysirico1245 9 років тому +2117

    Dad: hey whatcha whatching son?
    Me: im listening to a guy scratch his nutsack useing potato technology, its really relaxing.
    Dad: oh

    • @TheSDD101
      @TheSDD101 9 років тому +19

      Hahahahahagahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahah

    • @Blubnuggetto23
      @Blubnuggetto23 9 років тому +34

      Is your entire channel bait? I really hope so. I'm laughing so hard. So cringe lmao. Fedora pizza face profile pic and only activity is liking Richard Dawkins and amazing atheist videos. Kekking uncontrollably now..

    • @AcherontiaStyx
      @AcherontiaStyx 9 років тому +69

      Blubnuggetto23 your comment and seeming hate towards atheism is much cringier

    • @jetjazz05
      @jetjazz05 9 років тому +88

      Wife: Hey, it's 1am, when are you coming to bed?
      Me: I'm watching this ASMR video
      Wife: *rolls eyes* Let me guess, one of those women who whisper in your ears?
      Me: No, it's a guy who's scratching his nutsacks using potato technology, not every ASMR creator is a woman....
      Wife: I'm filing for a divorce first thing in the morning. *closes door*

    • @RungaChunga
      @RungaChunga 9 років тому +4

      That'll get ya shipped off to the mental ward in no time flat XD

  • @OneEyePhoto
    @OneEyePhoto 8 років тому +256

    I honestly cherish how creative your videos are. When I saw the potatoes, I should of known it was one of your creations--truly genuine in the fast evolving world of ASMR. I also enjoy your pace as well, you keep a consistent pace with each video, dedicating a window to us which I'm sure many appreciate without knowing.

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  8 років тому +13

      +Colleen Chan Well thank you. I try my best!

    • @Lollercoaster119
      @Lollercoaster119 8 років тому

      +Corvo Shrapnel *sigh* The asterisk goes on both sides of the word.

    • @OneEyePhoto
      @OneEyePhoto 8 років тому +3

      +Corvo Shrapnel You were sleep commenting.

    • @Alkiviadis_
      @Alkiviadis_ 8 років тому

      k

    • @diamondman1972
      @diamondman1972 8 років тому

      Colleen Chan

  • @octopirate-bak
    @octopirate-bak 8 років тому +271

    Haters will say it's Photoshop...

    • @lestergreen360
      @lestergreen360 8 років тому +97

      Potatoshopped*

    • @octopirate-bak
      @octopirate-bak 8 років тому +24

      President Snades heh

    • @parker-boy98
      @parker-boy98 4 роки тому +8

      @@octopirate-bak taters gonna tate

    • @bingbong2260
      @bingbong2260 4 роки тому +3

      Who wants my pee

    • @thatoneanimekid7999
      @thatoneanimekid7999 4 роки тому

      Parker Green wait a minute if he is Lester green..and you Parker green... are you guys brothers xD

  • @themidlyfrustratedinteract4957
    @themidlyfrustratedinteract4957 8 років тому +647

    "What do you do for a living?"
    "I wrap potatoes in tinfoil and call them microphones on the internet."

    • @zilentis1835
      @zilentis1835 8 років тому +38

      "Then whisper to them and protect them from aliens or nefarious organisation"

    • @ChristopherWeaver1
      @ChristopherWeaver1 8 років тому +23

      That would get you any job. Im sure it would make a interviewer burst out laughing.

    • @batmanrizez7986
      @batmanrizez7986 7 років тому +2

      The Nerd Council 👏👏

    • @sociopathicbitch8132
      @sociopathicbitch8132 5 років тому

      @@zilentis1835 "then tapping on a ball"

    • @davidhatcher7016
      @davidhatcher7016 5 років тому

      Good

  • @zeshanmhusain7240
    @zeshanmhusain7240 8 років тому +435

    When a potato has better sound input than my $80 headset

    • @ChristopherWeaver1
      @ChristopherWeaver1 8 років тому +15

      Tthe potato only cost nothing if you grow them

    • @scouteregg6205
      @scouteregg6205 7 років тому +5

      you have to pay for the seeds

    • @VixiMixi
      @VixiMixi 6 років тому +3

      Scouter Egg are there even potato seeds

    • @kauekairony990
      @kauekairony990 6 років тому +6

      @@VixiMixi
      Yes, but they are a bit hard to get,
      It's generally easier to just bury entire potatos instead

    • @gaberamsey7675
      @gaberamsey7675 5 років тому

      Zeshan M Husain that’s good that your a broncos fan

  • @Cosmic_Cowgirl
    @Cosmic_Cowgirl 9 років тому +378

    Is the left potato Jimmy Neutron?

  • @Ankhirly
    @Ankhirly 9 років тому +351

    I was excited to read the minds of those potatoes, but drats.... Foiled again...

    • @e-linamarie
      @e-linamarie 9 років тому

      +JackyJety Games 😶. Should I applaud or facepalm?

    • @JoNesBlacKkrafkini
      @JoNesBlacKkrafkini 9 років тому +1

      +Elysia Shults Shut up and sleep

    • @Ankhirly
      @Ankhirly 9 років тому +3

      You know you loved my joke. Don't try to deny it.

    • @JoNesBlacKkrafkini
      @JoNesBlacKkrafkini 9 років тому +6

      Elysia Shults Yeah..... a little...

    • @The_Riot
      @The_Riot 9 років тому

      +Elysia Shults Can get a JonTron quote at the end of this joke please?

  • @zombiesingularity
    @zombiesingularity 8 років тому +211

    I'M LISTENING TO POTATOES MOM GAWH YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND GO AWAY!

  • @bl1tz533
    @bl1tz533 8 років тому +203

    E. Rift: **Whispering**
    Left Potato: "what is this guy doing?"
    Right Potato: "I don't like it!"

  • @nara9097
    @nara9097 8 років тому +345

    the potatoes have faces XD
    the left of be like O_o and the right one be like - _ -

    • @nara9097
      @nara9097 8 років тому +29

      ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • @kuroseal8613
      @kuroseal8613 7 років тому +4

      NaNa Khan ....... 10/10

    • @CClovemcraft
      @CClovemcraft 7 років тому +6

      NaNa Khan
      the one on the right is frisk.

    • @emc8666
      @emc8666 7 років тому +8

      NaNa Khan The right is more like :c

    • @thatdumbboi1258
      @thatdumbboi1258 7 років тому +6

      NaNa Khan What is seen cannot be unseen.

  • @TheConstantOne
    @TheConstantOne 9 років тому +65

    So from now on down the line, the line of questioning, "WHAT DID YOU FILM THIS ON?! A POTATO?!", will no longer be an insult but actually a compliment due to the rise in usage and quality of potato recording equipment, both in the audio and visual spectrums.
    Beautiful.

  • @91-octane
    @91-octane 9 років тому +116

    Don't you hate when you click on an ASMR video and an ad blasts your ears at full volume?

    • @angela-up8rh
      @angela-up8rh 9 років тому +1

      every time.

    • @rodrigosaavedra8884
      @rodrigosaavedra8884 9 років тому +1

      TriggerHurtSD use adblock my friend

    • @91-octane
      @91-octane 9 років тому

      rodrigo saavedra Well I usually listen to ASMR on my phone when I'm in bed, so it's really unavoidable. Unless there's an adblock program that I never knew about for iOS.

    • @silentgamerfin5107
      @silentgamerfin5107 9 років тому

      TriggerHurtSD ever heard of ADblock?........

    • @91-octane
      @91-octane 9 років тому

      SilentGamerFIN Not on iOS, but I do have it on my computer.

  • @janedoe4780
    @janedoe4780 9 років тому +157

    Anyone else see the messed up faces in the potatos or am I tripping balls? Great video, Rift.

    • @XDefl
      @XDefl 9 років тому +6

      thanks to you, the video just got a whole lot creepier... tnx..

    • @Findingspirit333
      @Findingspirit333 9 років тому +6

      Oh my god... I see them...

    • @colesky6619
      @colesky6619 9 років тому +4

      Yah they kinda look like mangled faces if you look at them closely.

    • @darkwall3241
      @darkwall3241 9 років тому +2

      We're BOTH tripping balls! YEAH! :D

    • @DA3XT3RM1NAT0R
      @DA3XT3RM1NAT0R 9 років тому +3

      he mentioned it at 32:00 :)

  • @stefanamarfei6086
    @stefanamarfei6086 8 років тому +169

    When you don't have money to buy a microphone.

  • @courtneyrosee
    @courtneyrosee 8 років тому +58

    The left potato looks like the old lady in the wheelchair from the spongebob episode where they sell chocolate

  • @rockleerules2210
    @rockleerules2210 8 років тому +80

    I was almost asleep and decided to look at the screen at 9:50 and I could have sworn that the right potato had grown an actual ear.

    • @juliomoraification
      @juliomoraification 8 років тому +5

      I looked up at that moment exactly as I read your comment

    • @cjeam9199
      @cjeam9199 8 років тому +2

      +Julian S INCEPTION HORNS

    • @cloboba143
      @cloboba143 8 років тому +1

      I read that at exactly 9:50 😂😂😂

    • @theskiingmaskgaming4210
      @theskiingmaskgaming4210 7 років тому +2

      Spooky Scary Potatoes

    • @valiliu
      @valiliu 4 роки тому

      Omg I was reading your comment when I saw the same with the left one at 11:12 😭

  • @loquitakat
    @loquitakat 9 років тому +46

    You are totally back on your game. This is what you do best...making the utterly absurd sublime. The potatoes on a stick wearing tin hats being caressed by monster claws was so surreal I took a screen shot and made it my wallpaper. Forget asmr ( well actually please don't) but you should audition for Saturday night live or something. Your creativity and originality are awesome. Thanks also for such consistent videos. Can't believe you do this and work and be a dad and husband, but thanks for sharing this part of yourself with all of us. P.s. I cheered with the return of your now famous nut sack.

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +24

      loquitakat Ah, you're too kind. But thanks, I appreciate your comment. Means a lot. I'd love to try out for SNL. That, In Living Colour, Monty Python, all those types of comedies have really inspired me probably more than anything else. I try to balance everything, work, family, etc. but I cut into my sleep more often, though I am trying to balance that too. Anyway, thanks again for watching and for especially cheering at my nutsack!

  • @katieleslie4256
    @katieleslie4256 9 років тому +52

    "Let the potatoes help you reach a higher state of consciousness" I know what my senior yearbook quote is going to be

    • @the9tailsupersaiyan
      @the9tailsupersaiyan 6 років тому

      Katie Leslie so did ya do it?

    • @Chrishum
      @Chrishum 4 роки тому

      katie leslie it’s been 4 years please tell us

    • @katieleslie4256
      @katieleslie4256 4 роки тому +3

      Chrishum this is actually my senior year lmaooooo. they didn’t allow us yearbook quotes bc the quotes of the grade two years ago were too inappropriate so they cut it out period. so unfortunately....the potatoes never got their justice

    • @Chrishum
      @Chrishum 4 роки тому +1

      katie leslie damn

    • @katieleslie4256
      @katieleslie4256 4 роки тому

      Chrishum sorry king 😔

  • @thetman0068
    @thetman0068 9 років тому +126

    Nutsack Relaxation. A new sub-genera of ASMR.

    • @lesternomo6578
      @lesternomo6578 9 років тому

      +tman008 genre*

    • @Ponce17
      @Ponce17 9 років тому +1

      where the hell did he mention his nutsack I fell asleep right away ._.

    • @thetman0068
      @thetman0068 8 років тому

      luz ramos LMFAO, it's a loooooooong story.

    • @Ponce17
      @Ponce17 8 років тому

      tman008​ oh alright (x i was so lost i kept going to random sections to see if i could find what you guys were talking about

    • @arcxcc
      @arcxcc 8 років тому +1

      +luz ramos it starts around 19:17

  • @gabbyguevara7522
    @gabbyguevara7522 8 років тому +136

    is it me or did those potatoes have sad faces

    • @justin._.long5
      @justin._.long5 8 років тому +1

      Thinking the same thing!

    • @arcxcc
      @arcxcc 8 років тому +7

      I'm pretty sure, when this was posted, he mentioned on his Facebook that he specifically looked for potatoes that had "personality"

    • @gabbyguevara7522
      @gabbyguevara7522 8 років тому

      😂😂😂😂

    • @aplateofravioli4793
      @aplateofravioli4793 8 років тому

      no it'n not just you

    • @thislady987
      @thislady987 8 років тому

      The one to the right has a sad face.

  • @CasuaLxClan
    @CasuaLxClan 9 років тому +68

    Best vid ever

    • @Patrennessy
      @Patrennessy 9 років тому +4

      How do you feel about having a nutsack scratched in your face?

    • @LadyRuger007
      @LadyRuger007 9 років тому

      wow a rare potato

  • @ThePAnders101
    @ThePAnders101 9 років тому +62

    As a native Idahoan, this pleases me.
    Very well done Uncle E

    • @adamwatts6672
      @adamwatts6672 9 років тому

      Potato state

    • @ixnexus
      @ixnexus 9 років тому +1

      That picture..

    • @AshesAndSketchesH0iImtemmie
      @AshesAndSketchesH0iImtemmie 9 років тому +1

      Potato state my arse, you got nothing on the Irish!

    • @bruhhhh625
      @bruhhhh625 9 років тому +5

      Idaho is famous for growing potatoes. Ireland is known for using them all! XD I KID I KID OF COURSE

    • @bracenryel
      @bracenryel 9 років тому +3

      Shots fired 🔫

  • @Logicalpsycho2323
    @Logicalpsycho2323 9 років тому +17

    Aside from ASMR, your creativity never ever ever ever ceases to impress me.

  • @MatteBlack99
    @MatteBlack99 8 років тому +65

    You'd think out of all the videos that Potato has commented on, this one would for sure have him. Where are you Potato?

    • @wattypatty3130
      @wattypatty3130 8 років тому +4

      YOU HAVE SEEN HIM TOO

    • @ryanmc2175
      @ryanmc2175 8 років тому

      What?

    • @ConFusi0n
      @ConFusi0n 8 років тому +24

      +Austin Christensen He was in the video, it would be egotistical for him to comment on it.

    • @FearlessP4P1
      @FearlessP4P1 8 років тому

      lmao

    • @ConFusi0n
      @ConFusi0n 8 років тому

      David Davich Lmao. :)

  • @wound7
    @wound7 8 років тому +70

    my night routine: watch a man whisper, stroke and caress potatoes wearing tinfoil to give my tingles as I drift to sleep

    • @jengabunny757
      @jengabunny757 6 років тому +3

      peachyashlee and fondle his nutsack

    • @VixiMixi
      @VixiMixi 6 років тому

      Don’t forget the nutsack

  • @FouITarnished
    @FouITarnished Рік тому +20

    First time I watched this it was on late 2015 and it still one of my favorites ❤️

  • @DonnaASMR
    @DonnaASMR 9 років тому +423

    Potato quality. Dislike. Unsub. :P
    Edit: Today is 9th June 2015, the sad day I had to edit a three months old comment because apparently an awful lot of people don't get that this is a JOKE and feel the need to insult me...

    • @Gonzbol
      @Gonzbol 9 років тому +21

      Do ASMR creators get triggered from their own videos?

    • @HumanET-cs6zz
      @HumanET-cs6zz 9 років тому +2

      Gonzbol I think the majority of them don't. Well at least, I am not triggered by my own videos ^^

    • @DonnaASMR
      @DonnaASMR 9 років тому +2

      Me neither.

    • @flameshoter6
      @flameshoter6 9 років тому +2

      Gonzbol in one of heatherfeather's videos, she mentions that she gets rarely tingled by her own videos. In her example, "it is like tickling yourself." But i wonder, if an asmr creator uses tools/ objects but does not speak, will it have the same effect? I think it would be hard for the body to remember what actions were done from start to finish- but that creates the question, if they could only listen to it once some time after making the video, would it have a greater possibility of triggering the creator?

    • @literalantifaterrorist4673
      @literalantifaterrorist4673 9 років тому

      You are a disgrace to Idaho, Ms. Germany!!

  • @DrumCoversFromHell
    @DrumCoversFromHell 9 років тому +280

    They look like distorted faces.

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +70

      +DrumCoversFromHell It's no lie I actually stood there eyeing each potato before buying them (no pun intended).

    • @jontheguy7545
      @jontheguy7545 9 років тому +14

      (pun intended)

    • @notyou1985
      @notyou1985 9 років тому

      +DrumCoversFromHell how 2 buy potatoe microfones

    • @jackw1252
      @jackw1252 8 років тому

      +Bruce Wayne the one on the right looks like a really scared frankinstein

    • @NIEL304
      @NIEL304 8 років тому +1

      +DrumCoversFromHell like if the guys from good mythical morning introduced you to asmr :)

  • @FastFoodVicar
    @FastFoodVicar 8 років тому +25

    First vid by ER i ever watched. A classic, it's brilliant!

  • @niallmurf
    @niallmurf Рік тому +1

    This was one of the first videos to get me into ASMR, I always come back to it

  • @noahDnewport
    @noahDnewport 9 років тому +7

    I know you probably won't ever see this but this as well as your Margaret series have seriously impressed me. In the ASMR "genre" most uploads are the same rehashed roleplays we've seen a million times but your channel is always a breath of fresh air. Always imaginative, bizarre in the best way, and maybe just the right amount of unsettling. You have a serious talent for what you do here and I just want to say thank you for what you bring to the ASMR community. Keep it creepy. :)

    • @t_vdel
      @t_vdel 9 років тому

      It's soooo relaxing when it's creepy ;)

  • @arlo4639
    @arlo4639 9 років тому +23

    twelvie online: YOU HAVE THE SOUND QUALITY OF THAT OF A POTATO!!!
    Me: shows them this video

  • @louthinator
    @louthinator 9 років тому +145

    damn Paul what did you record the audio on? a potato?

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +74

      Oceanus Lunaris Are you kidding? What do you take me for? I only work with steaks.

    • @louthinator
      @louthinator 9 років тому

      Ephemeral Rift beef or venison?

    • @ohMinteh
      @ohMinteh 9 років тому

      ***** lol

    • @joshtaylor3141
      @joshtaylor3141 9 років тому +1

      I know right best microphones EVER

    • @louthinator
      @louthinator 9 років тому

      ***** any of the Margret videos

  • @Circa88
    @Circa88 5 років тому +9

    Make sure your pet potato renews its TFHS membership.

  • @jamelecracka9524
    @jamelecracka9524 8 років тому +14

    Listened to the whole thing on painkillers I've never felt so relaxed before

  • @blooba
    @blooba 9 років тому +44

    I noticed the potatoes seem to be on a free-floating platform. Are there safety precautions in place to prevent the potatoes from work related injuries? Also, how are the potatoes treated in the work environment? Are they given fair wages? Do they have equal opportunity for advancement in position?

    • @aplow2018
      @aplow2018 9 років тому

      ***** I hope you realize that's not what being a Republican means.

    • @flameshoter6
      @flameshoter6 9 років тому

      aplow2018 well i could say the democrats are allowing all these potatoes come into the country. which sounds racist, but not intended.

    • @aplow2018
      @aplow2018 9 років тому

      Potatoes...pun intended?

  • @Tobias5036
    @Tobias5036 8 років тому +18

    So I usually listen to ASMR in the background while i do various assorted activities, not paying much attention to the words or sounds. Just letting the auto play run wild and enjoying them as pleasant white noise. I pop the video up somewhere in the middle to mess about with my browser and get to see the randomly glorious asmr combo of tinfoil hat equipped potatoes being softly caressed by monster hands. Had myself a good chuckle. Stay gold ER..........stay gold....

    • @ryanoceros9382
      @ryanoceros9382 5 років тому

      Tobias5036 stay gold ponyboy, stay gold...

  • @crabmothflunderbum7770
    @crabmothflunderbum7770 8 років тому +3

    This is one of the most brilliant videos I've ever seen. Despite the video's nature, it is creative, interesting, and also somehow manages to pull out 55 minutes of potato mayhem. Genius.

  • @christopherandrade5183
    @christopherandrade5183 5 років тому +2

    Just watched the binaural pumpkins video and immediately remembered this one. Cool to see how much your videos have changed without losing the charm from stuff like this

  • @ruthnaomi4937
    @ruthnaomi4937 3 роки тому +5

    i hunted for this, six years later. added a bunch of your old videos to my watch later. you introduced me to ASMR. thank you for always being transparent with us-as much as you’re comfortable with. i know youtube fame only affects so much and so far. i hope you’re doing well, sincerely

  • @okifurbi
    @okifurbi 9 років тому +22

    Gosh, Technology is really advancing this days.

  • @luciaq5543
    @luciaq5543 9 років тому +144

    Dear Sir,
    No-one is happier than us that you are finally giving vegetation the credit we truly deserve.
    We just feel this video was a little spud-heavy, and in a society that already values potatoes so highly, we can't help but feel a little disappointed at your lack of diversity.
    We're not interested in tokenism either.
    So don't think of including a happy, but ultimately pointless broccoli in your next video, who dies within the first 4 minutes.
    We're asking for a wider variety of veggies, because ultimately Marrow Luther Bean had a dream. And that dream was salad.
    Think on.
    Kernel Corn, President of Technoveggies. BA, Msc, PEA

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +60

      Lucia Q I'm sorry. I did not mean to offend. I will do my very best to include a wider array of vegetables in future videos.

    • @FavoriteKarma
      @FavoriteKarma 9 років тому +5

      You're a true hero, and frankly the best representative a veggie could ask for.

    • @zekayman
      @zekayman 9 років тому +2

      You give me butterflies in my xylem due to the sheer eloquence and wisdom of your words. Truly inspiring.

    • @benji_9710
      @benji_9710 9 років тому

      omnom ima rabbit...

    • @benji_9710
      @benji_9710 9 років тому

      Natural Inclination well, god needed another sala-ahhhh... angel...

  • @matthewgrimsley4506
    @matthewgrimsley4506 9 років тому +19

    I'd liked to have seen Paul shopping for faced potatoes. Holding each one up, rotating it, checking for personality.

  • @lilly3382
    @lilly3382 8 років тому +4

    i just found your channel and this is the first video i have seen from you
    i am so truly happy you exist

  • @BrogieSmells
    @BrogieSmells 9 років тому +85

    I lost it when he mentioned his nutsack

    • @100ilovemom
      @100ilovemom 9 років тому +3

      i feel he phrased it that way purposely

    • @Cellkist
      @Cellkist 8 років тому +3

      It's an ephemeral rift classic.

    • @DozerD11jr
      @DozerD11jr 8 років тому

      +Cellkist Man I thought your profile picture was a swastika lol!

    • @Cellkist
      @Cellkist 8 років тому +1

      DozerD11jr Good.

    • @TheKaylaKronicles14
      @TheKaylaKronicles14 8 років тому

      Lol at what part did he mention the nut sack?

  • @UltraEmilyRose
    @UltraEmilyRose 9 років тому +58

    Daughter: Whatcha listening to Mom?
    Me: im listening to a guy scratch his nutsack useing potato technology, its really relaxing.
    Daughter:Oh okay, goodnight I love you.

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +9

      UltraEmilyRose Too awesome. :D

    • @TheErmac678
      @TheErmac678 9 років тому +1

      Oh my god, LMAO, best explanation ever.

    • @Sinberg
      @Sinberg 9 років тому

      UltraEmilyRose COPIED

  • @Kat_288
    @Kat_288 8 років тому +36

    No wonder the people who don't get ASMR find us weird

    • @superbanananinja
      @superbanananinja 8 років тому +2

      "How is this relaxing, he's talking to a potato, is he like crazy or something?"

    • @guccigang909
      @guccigang909 5 років тому +1

      @@superbanananinja I obviously made as a joke if u didnt get it sir. your probably a carrot

    • @superbanananinja
      @superbanananinja 5 років тому +1

      @@guccigang909 Bro that comment was from over 3 years ago, I think I got it

    • @guccigang909
      @guccigang909 5 років тому

      @@superbanananinja lol did you??

    • @brandonnaughton73
      @brandonnaughton73 5 років тому +1

      @@guccigang909 Nah mate give him another 3 yrs he might figure it out 😂😭

  • @IrishSunburn
    @IrishSunburn 9 років тому +9

    Poem I just wrote =D
    We sit down after a long day
    Take our shoes off,
    Throw them away.
    Sigh a little, lay back and say
    "What asmr video should I watch today?"
    Our heads pound, our brains twirl
    Our muscles tighten twist, and squirm
    In years past we would have stayed awake.
    And waited until the next even worse day
    But now, this community that we all share
    Brings peace to our souls, and less loss to our hair.
    We have a constant spark of luck
    No matter what we do,
    No matter if we mess up.
    We have a feeling that many people don't.
    We can sleep anywhere, relax any time.
    And leave much of our stress far behind.
    We don't have to freak out and grind our teeth.
    We just listen, and then curl and sleep.

  • @KylieMelton
    @KylieMelton 3 роки тому +1

    I like the microphone in this video with your whisper so much! This is the first video I ever saw of you when I was struggling 6 years ago you helped me feel peace at night with your art and I have always been a fan of you for that.

  • @moonrox4481
    @moonrox4481 Рік тому +1

    7 years ago?! Dude your quality has always been amazing. I thought this was new.

  • @OliviaKissper
    @OliviaKissper 8 років тому +161

    Love this video!

    • @alexz-2337
      @alexz-2337 8 років тому +2

      Wow didnt expect you here!

    • @carninjasword4022
      @carninjasword4022 8 років тому +1

      gift cm ark

    • @Skaliber2
      @Skaliber2 7 років тому +1

      WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT that's so cool, these are the only 2 ASMR channels i even listen to

  • @louthinator
    @louthinator 9 років тому +27

    on a side note at some point please make a 1 hour segment for the pestle and mortar like you did for the bottlecaps and beer suds.... maybe try a few different things to grind up... i cant seem to find a good full video of it and its always great when you put it in one of your videos

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +19

      Oceanus Lunaris Good idea! I'll add it to my list. Thanks.

    • @boringchannel9987
      @boringchannel9987 9 років тому +2

      Yea man the grinding was really great u should do more of that

  • @BakedDirtTVEEE
    @BakedDirtTVEEE 8 років тому +17

    My friend had a crappy mic and I told him it sounded like potatoes. However, after watching this video, I' m gonna have to take back what I said.

  • @Katerina-nl4tz
    @Katerina-nl4tz 3 роки тому +1

    This is where all began.
    This is the first asmr video I've ever watched. I was so confused lol, i didn't know what asmr is and why I feel relaxed watching a video with potatoes.

  • @loweryserina6675
    @loweryserina6675 5 років тому +4

    This is the first ever Asmr i showed my dad, im grounded for life now.

  • @petunialuckens
    @petunialuckens 8 років тому +12

    If I ever make a band, it'll be called Nutsack Relaxation.

    • @LT-GudD_Mem_
      @LT-GudD_Mem_ 8 років тому

      Sign me up

    • @dylizabeth
      @dylizabeth 8 років тому

      i wanna be lead guitarist

    • @AbyssalPlague
      @AbyssalPlague 5 років тому

      BONGOS, you need'em. I'm your man. Les Do Eet.

  • @marniestewart
    @marniestewart 8 років тому +6

    Literally filmed using the finest potatoes money could buy

  • @mattsmith457
    @mattsmith457 8 років тому +10

    A wild loud ad appeared! Dunununununu
    Wild ad uses "Billy Mays here!"
    Attack was super effective!
    Defending human was scared shitless and takes 2 rounds to recollect!
    Respond Volume
    Recommended videos >Flee (skip ad)
    Human skipped ad, but this altercation leaves irreparable scars on human until next evolution.

  • @asapchapp7566
    @asapchapp7566 Рік тому +2

    This was the first ER video I ever watched. Seeing his recent outbursts are heart breaking. Hope you get well, friend.

  • @BKSMR13
    @BKSMR13 8 років тому

    A year of studying the potato microphones and it still continues to fascinate and amaze me... XD discovered you along with asmr a year ago, and I'm glad I did! Here's to the next year XD

  • @lindsey6421
    @lindsey6421 9 років тому +11

    I'm scared incase my mum walks in my room and see's me watching a video of a man brushing a potato with tinfoil hats and whispering, not sure how I'd explain this lol

  • @Rainalot
    @Rainalot 9 років тому +15

    My two favourite aspects of this video that I would love to see more of:
    Being told it's dangerous out there but being assured I'm safe in here
    And whatever that speaking in tongues/mouth sounds thing was at 34:00

    • @Arthur_C22
      @Arthur_C22 9 років тому

      Love it.

    • @andjela7847
      @andjela7847 8 років тому

      it is called unintelligible whispering :)

    • @arcxcc
      @arcxcc 8 років тому

      It's called "shadow speak"

    • @arcxcc
      @arcxcc 8 років тому

      At least that's what uncle E calls it

  • @TomRipley7350
    @TomRipley7350 9 років тому +12

    This is so relaxing and addictive. It keeps sending me back to sleep. I've been in bed for four days now and the starvation is making it easier to lose consciousness. Please help me...

    • @KjLoVeS92
      @KjLoVeS92 9 років тому +1

      I understand your life right now. I shall never get out of bed again.

    • @mauigio
      @mauigio 9 років тому +5

      Tom Ripley Death by ASMR....... his final words? Um......it was really strange, something about, "they were right...... the potatoes...tell my sister.....they were riiiiiiiighuhhhhhhhh"

  • @Lollercoaster119
    @Lollercoaster119 5 років тому +2

    Its March 1st 2019 and I can't stop coming back to this amazing video.

  • @AJddfx
    @AJddfx 8 років тому +1

    This was uploaded over a year ago... I remember watching this for the first time and it feels like yesterday. It is still one of my favorite videos to date. Unfortunately, if I watch it too often, the effects not longer work, so I have to watch sparingly and always look forward to my next viewing.

  • @sebastiancoe4708
    @sebastiancoe4708 9 років тому +12

    Rift you have the perfect sense of humor

    • @sebastiancoe4708
      @sebastiancoe4708 9 років тому +2

      Also, the mortal and pestle absolutely killed it, the tingles from the salt grinding were amazing

  • @Awalys
    @Awalys 9 років тому +121

    How are you holding up?
    Because I'm a microphone.

    • @vinylsprakle
      @vinylsprakle 9 років тому +11

      Portal 2 reference, I believe

    • @DLockX
      @DLockX 9 років тому

      2hu face, I believe?

    • @LandoMercy
      @LandoMercy 9 років тому +1

      It was a portal 2 reference lol GLaDoS was turned into a potato and he took one of her lines and replaced potato with microphone lol sorry I had to explain to the idiots

    • @LandoMercy
      @LandoMercy 9 років тому +15

      ***** Idiots who are unfaithful to lord Gaben

    • @wdavis6814
      @wdavis6814 9 років тому +1

      worst toho.

  • @MrMoooshroomz
    @MrMoooshroomz 9 років тому +27

    It's so weird seeing Paul with hair... I love it.

    • @DarkDingo7
      @DarkDingo7 9 років тому +13

      Yes Paul is much sexier with hair

    • @yoyorazer
      @yoyorazer 9 років тому

      Gary "Eggsy" Unwin Fuck the Pepsi I want the Dr. Pepper BTW I am still gonna touch the Pepsi...

    • @MrMoooshroomz
      @MrMoooshroomz 9 років тому

      Vhat??

    • @yoyorazer
      @yoyorazer 9 років тому

      Gary "Eggsy" Unwin Oh Eggsy, you don't even remember what you said under the about tab. (or whatever its called when you hover over someone's name on UA-cam and it has some writing talking about themselves at the bottom)

    • @MrMoooshroomz
      @MrMoooshroomz 9 років тому

      That was like... four years ago... 0-0 Need to change that, but the point still stands. Touch my soft drink, and you're fucking dead man.

  • @domitian7
    @domitian7 8 років тому

    this finally reached a million. this is probably one of my personal favorites.

  • @fogus745
    @fogus745 4 роки тому +3

    Netflix: Are you still watching?
    Someone's adult son: 23:11

  • @JakeH27
    @JakeH27 9 років тому +6

    I've been trying to find a male ASMRtist who does enjoyable unintelligible whispering for so long! Finally, there's some here!
    If only there was more, though.

    • @davejimbobjim
      @davejimbobjim 9 років тому

      Have you seen the repairman? Sounds like you might like him :)

    • @smeltersausage364
      @smeltersausage364 9 років тому

      Watch out, ya don't wanna say anything negative about the womens in the UA-cam comment jungle. The feminazis will come out of their crooks, crannies, and crevices to shoot you down.

    • @djmil42
      @djmil42 9 років тому

      Definitely look up all of his Repairman (especially Repairman 2) videos and his Colonist Episode 2: Repairs.

    • @flameshoter6
      @flameshoter6 9 років тому +1

      David Miller i think his scratching nuts video was great.

    • @hakongabrielsen9279
      @hakongabrielsen9279 9 років тому +2

      Try "MassageASMR inaudible" he does really good inaudible videoes :)

  • @peacefullylost9423
    @peacefullylost9423 9 років тому +11

    The day will come when someone from outside the ASMR community will stumble across your channel and they'll think.....life is strange

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +11

      Peacefully Lost I think that actually has been happening a lot more since some non-ASMR outlets have featured my videos and I get a lot of "why are you whispering" and "wtf". ;) But it's all good. There will always be people who are open and willing to try new things, and those that just aren't.

  • @cress4876
    @cress4876 9 років тому +96

    Finally consoles have a use.

    • @oscard9429
      @oscard9429 9 років тому +2

      Lolol

    • @dg9552
      @dg9552 9 років тому +2

      Divine Pc master race Bow down console peasants Another Elitist

    • @cress4876
      @cress4876 9 років тому +17

      UP-Nuclear Socom Not elitist just accepting the fact that pcs are the better gaming platform.

    • @dg9552
      @dg9552 9 років тому +1

      Divine Pc master race Bow down console peasants Consoles are fair though.

    • @cress4876
      @cress4876 9 років тому +14

      UP-Nuclear Socom Well, the expensive games and monthly subscriptions make it undesirable.

  • @markspeth6876
    @markspeth6876 2 роки тому +1

    7yrs later n I still get tingles watching this

  • @morale.9330
    @morale.9330 4 роки тому

    How can someone be so ungodly amusing to watch yet so unfathomably sleep-inducing at the same time!?

  • @manslundqvist87
    @manslundqvist87 9 років тому +33

    Please make more of these!

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +30

      Måsse Lunkan Okay I'll try !

    • @Philippe44
      @Philippe44 9 років тому

      グリーンウォリア consecratio salium bro, search it.

    • @arcxcc
      @arcxcc 9 років тому

      Måsse Lunkan he did. corn tech. I don't know what's better

    • @manslundqvist87
      @manslundqvist87 9 років тому

      Yeah i watched it. I like both, but this one better though. Not sure why but this one is just amazing.

  • @whyitr1ot
    @whyitr1ot 9 років тому +12

    People ask me: Why on Earth did you bother subscribing to this "Ephemeral Rift" guy.
    I think this video pretty much sums the answer up pretty well.

  • @ciriloaguilar8217
    @ciriloaguilar8217 8 років тому +8

    A potato flying in my room

  • @historicallyinsane7322
    @historicallyinsane7322 3 місяці тому +1

    It took me until now to realize this video was almost a decade old...

  • @RevolutionRW3
    @RevolutionRW3 Рік тому

    Im back after 10 years tryna get my tingles back.. this was a special one for me

  • @LaurenOstrowskiFenton
    @LaurenOstrowskiFenton 9 років тому +9

    I dont understand how I was unsubbed????? this is just so so so so awesome

  • @moosvoos3882
    @moosvoos3882 8 років тому +4

    I watch this whenever I'm stressed or upset... basically every day😂😭 it helps a lot, though

    • @kuroseal8613
      @kuroseal8613 7 років тому +1

      Moos Voos welcome to the world of ASMR

  • @Gogogonebai
    @Gogogonebai 9 років тому +18

    Potatoes give us a lot of things, mashed potatoes, roast, chips, crisps, vodka, hash browns and microphones!!
    Get your shit together every other vegetable!

    • @tehepiccricketz
      @tehepiccricketz 9 років тому

      I can relate to this man's statement!

    • @Gogogonebai
      @Gogogonebai 9 років тому

      They are when your not on america

    • @ButterShutterModels
      @ButterShutterModels 9 років тому

      Corn is in literally everything though. Go, high fructose corn syrup, corn starch, and corn meal

    • @handsomefemme9130
      @handsomefemme9130 9 років тому

      what are hash browns ÷_÷

    • @fallowfrog
      @fallowfrog 9 років тому

      +HAEVENzzang The thing that Onision does at the end of his videos. Jk, it's a type of food at McDonalds that shows up at breakfast.

  • @mrjsnuisance
    @mrjsnuisance 6 років тому

    This was my favourite video a while back, I decided to revisit it, I don't remember the potatoes shaking so much! They're constantly rocking side to side every time he moves! The sounds are still so good tho

  • @professorkaos62
    @professorkaos62 8 років тому +4

    I've fallen asleep to this video so many times thank you.

  • @ladderhero6266
    @ladderhero6266 8 років тому +24

    I love your channel ER but have you ever considered it strange that a man tapping his balls, scratching a nutsack and whispering to potatoes in the dark would get one million views?

  • @christianporter2334
    @christianporter2334 9 років тому +18

    what did you record this with? a tomato?

  • @wendys9500
    @wendys9500 8 років тому +4

    How did you manage to keep a straight face during the nut sack part 😂😂😂 New subscriber here who adores your sense of humor!!

  • @dannydunham2449
    @dannydunham2449 6 років тому

    This was the video that introduced me to this channel, and watching it again is quite surreal.

  • @multicosmos333
    @multicosmos333 Рік тому +1

    please do more of this and the cantaloupe one! Somehow the sound quality was actually the best out of most of your vids

  • @NicholeSnickers23
    @NicholeSnickers23 8 років тому +33

    Potatoes are people too guys.

    • @JackHagar
      @JackHagar 8 років тому +6

      #potatolivesmatter

    • @angeliquehoeberigs7056
      @angeliquehoeberigs7056 8 років тому

      Yeah no shit

    • @RED-vh2pt
      @RED-vh2pt 8 років тому

      Why too guys? Why not a girl 😎

    • @patrickkoh1308
      @patrickkoh1308 8 років тому +1

      +R E D first of all "guys" can be gender inclusive, and also he/she meant "too, guys"

    • @samallman4911
      @samallman4911 8 років тому +3

      If you're a potato I'm a potato

  • @williamnewlin5250
    @williamnewlin5250 9 років тому +8

    Literally no one makes fun of ASMR more than ER. Pretty ironic he's the best at it too 😂

    • @EphemeralRift
      @EphemeralRift  9 років тому +29

      William Newlin It's a mix of that and self depricating. I mean, how can anyone in this community take themselves so seriously? I wish more creators did serious vlogs and comedy sketches. It's cool to take ASMR seriously at times, but dam, lighten up folks. ;)

  • @alexasulger
    @alexasulger 8 років тому +6

    Protect the delicate nature of the potato from people that will try to read the potatoes minds.

    • @applejack77778
      @applejack77778 8 років тому

      +TisAlexa Read that right before he said that.

  • @casjadyn1733
    @casjadyn1733 2 роки тому

    I literally just looked for potato ASMR
    What does this man NOT have? I bow to your intellect 🧎‍♂️

  • @Dragonslayer-pk5xd
    @Dragonslayer-pk5xd 8 років тому +1

    first time I ever heard of ASMR was last year when I found this video, and I still get tingles from it.