@@linstar9172 That sounds like a people-pleasing tendency. They know people are going to skip it, nor are you obligated to watch it. If that help you feel not-guilty.
@@viiiRA_ For normal viewers that may be an okay way to look at it, but if you react to someone's video, you better show the only part they can still make money from. That is really just basic etiquette if you get into the morally grey field of react content. Don't play the video if you are away from your keyboard to "entertain" the audience when you are gone, don't skip the ads, and do link to the original video and creator in a clear way.
I’m 30, and I’ve been on dates, but I’ve never had a boyfriend. The few guys I went on more than one date with were either glaringly wrong choices (one sold meth and the other lied about having a kid), or they broke it off and told me I was just too unattractive. It feels pretty hopeless out there.
My best friend would pick my daughter and take her and his daughter to the park. When I asked him if he was using the girls to pick up women. He said “where else would I meet a nice single mom?” I think that is brilliant.
There is a difference between rejection, which is fine, and some of the things that I have experienced. I approached as a friend and was accused of stalker her. We were in college at the time, and that semester, we shared 3 classes out 5 classes. I had to drop all 3 classes and later on leave the college completely. So approaching a woman put me behind 2 years.
@@thereallazygirl I am not blaming the woman. I am blaming the white knights that overreacted to a false accusation, those are the ones that caused the issues that I had to deal with. I even had to deal with threats against me, that could be implied to be death threats, from the campus police. When it got to this point, yes, I could have stayed and fought. That could have been the course I could have taken, if I was only concerned about myself. I was concerned about my mother and her declining health, so I decided to drop out and move in with her as I rebuilt my life while taken care of her. Another factor to me dropping out is because of threats that I received and because she and I had similar majors. To put it simply to avoid further accusations of stalking her, I had to avoid her. This meant staying away from her, so I had to stay away her dorm building, avoid being in the same class that she maybe in or building that she might be in. To do this I would have to change my major to something I did not want, all of the technical or engineering-based classes were in the same building. I also would have had to avoid general education classes, because I did not know if she had completed them or not. Again, this is not to blame her, I do not even know that she is aware of what happened to me as the white knights were trying to defend her from me. I do not even remember her name or face. I do remember the police officer from the campus police telling, how easy it would be to make me disappear. Next, I have a bachelor's degree in computer science, and I received that bachelor's while I was taken care of my mother, who had severe medical conditions at the time. I have developed 2 mobile games and I currently developing a computer game while working a full-time job. So, please stop and think, before you overreact to something that may offend you and start throwing insults. I really do not care what you think of me, after all I am just another piece of trash trying to carve out a life for myself. To make the point I was trying to get at is the painful rejections that get other people involved can get the rejected person hurt or killed. This is why I am still single and have missed some very blatant signs of interest. Simple because I misread signals or lack of signals that she was sending. Well either way, I am trying to get therapy and some type of help so I can heal from past traumas and to help develop social skills that should I have developed.
I'm a decent looking guy, but I'm always busy. I workout five days a week, work 40+ hours a week, meal prep weekly, am writing a book, and pursuing an apprenticeship as an electrician. I haven’t even dated yet, but when I look around I just don't see a lot of women I want to date.
👍 My oldest son is literally almost doing the exact same thing at 22! Only difference is that he's engaged to a beautiful young woman and instead of writing a book he is working on creating a video game with a couple of his friends! You have the right idea, continue doing what you love and hopefully you will meet someone who shares your interests ❤
@@andrewkononenko2504 yes because thats the problem 🤦♀️ atleast he has an interesting hobby/personal interest, its not an easy thing to do either, "stop writing a book then all of a sudden women will magically appear in your life", usually its the ones who have nothing, no talent, no skills, no gifts or creatively independent capabilities who try to tell others to not peruse their own interests that the other will never accomplish, remember every single thing you use in your daily life was designed, written by and built by somone/people, lables on bottles, how would you know whats in the bottle if someone didn't write what was in it, how are you typing in English if someone didn't write/create this language in the first place. 😂😂 🤦♀️
This is so interesting as I think about my grandparents. My grandmother was married had 2 kids and widowed by 22. My grandpa was introduced to her because he was neighbors to her and aunt. He literally said that they invited him to play cards with “that ole widow woman” 😅. They were in each others circles then her car broke down and he came to fix it. That’s why I’m here. It’s wild.
Wow! I was widowed at 29 with three kids, thankfully I met a lovely man on Tinder and we've been together five years now. If I hadn't met him I often wondered if there were widow/widower places where you could meet people whose spouse died and find someone to date there. I love your story about your granny.
Me: U.S.A. citizen, 5'6" slim heterosexual guy who finds tattoos and piercings on women beyond the ear lobes unnatrractive Pretty much every woman, including the sane ones: * Exactly the type to turn me off or turn me away * Hearing people advise me to not give up looking for a woman to settle with is like somebody telling me to keep trying to touch pretty clouds.
What sucks in today's dating times people have more expectations over the other person. May that be looks, financially super amazing or just for a fling. Meds, depression, I DON'T need to man mentality. all these play a horrible for loneliness and high expectations for others. And for some people they just want to sleep quicky then have that connection for long term. It's sad. I am a woman and I'd love to have a relationship.
I'm 64 and alone for the past 20 years. I can't stand the attitudes of women (or most men) these days. I'll just stay alone and know the loneliness is better than the alternative
I’m only 39, and I’ve known for several years now that if my husband kicks the bucket before me, or something happens to us, I’ll be alone af for the rest of my life and be content. I don’t have the mental and emotional bandwidth to ever do a relationship again. And I don’t need casual hookups, either. I just need my peace.
Older people who are or were married warn others that it's better to stay single to save the stress/headache/misery. People who are young and single warn others to marry or else you'll be alone and miserable. Lmao.
I think that the real problem is that many people don't believe in true love anymore. So they are looking for a relationship or not, for many bad reasons but not love. Love still exist it's what you should aim for.
The part about bake a tasty apple pie is real. I wasn’t a very well liked dude in high school (story for a different time), so I didn’t have a lot of friends or romantic interactions. I dated girls way outside my school district. But there was this girl who I’ll never forget. She always was so nice. She dressed in bright colors and always had her hair done in different ways with bows or head bands with fun things on them. She wore dresses and just was all around a very feminine and sweet girl. One of the only ones who didn’t treat me differently. Anyway one day she brings in some sort of baked good to school. I’m pretty sure it was muffins. I tried one and was floored. It was so fuckin good. I talked to her about them and she said she loves to bake and has all these recipes she loves to make and try to tweak and stuff. Before this I had a crush on her but by now it’s full on like and want. She tells me that since I liked her muffin so much she will bake me some cookies and muffins and bring them in for me. *cue heart beating out of my chest like a cartoon who’s in love*. But I knew she wouldn’t because .. well stuff like that didn’t happen to me lol But a couple days later she walks down the hall, calls my name and infront of everyone she gives me containers with muffins and cookies and other stuff. My face is red, hers is glistening like an angel in the sun, and everybody else’s is confused. I promise you on everything, even at school I think by the end of the day there was only like 1 muffin left and a couple cookies. I thanked her a million times and she just was so.. chill about it. As if she didn’t just about have me on my knee proposing to her then and there. Unfortunately this story doesn’t come to a good end. Things went as far as an almost date but insecurities on my part and my desire to not have the school treat her like shit because a decently popular girl was giving me the time of day let alone dating me. She’s married now and I’m happy for her even though I kick myself every day for not just seeing what could have been. I’ll never forget that time in school. It was one of the best. Sorry for the long comment TLDR: Popular girl gives high school nobody food and he becomes in love and loses her because of insecurities. Learn to cook/bake girls you’ll land any guy you want.
I once gave a guy a jar if homemade jam. I wasn't sure if I should give it to him, but my BIL assured me that food is the way to guy's heart. My own insecurities ruined it too. The guy loved it and tried to start a conversation with me. I could barely talk to him and he never asked me out. I think you're right about learning to cook and bake, but it feels like it's for nothing if I don't have enough social skills.
@@Katharine888I agree. The skills to carry on a conversation into a relation and even further is not something everyone already possesses. I used to be good at starting convos but couldn't carry them on . Now I'm not good at either . But as I've heard fake it till u make it. Gotta get it done cause nobody else will lookout for your love life
Thank you for sharing your heartwarming story. It’s a treasured memory to remember! Growing up, I was incredibly shy and quiet, struggling with major social anxiety. I missed out on some opportunities and fun hobbies because of fear and insecurity. Sending you virtual hugs, but I totally understand. It wasn't until my early adulthood that I challenged myself to speak to people more, and over the years, I've had some wonderful, genuine conversations with complete strangers. It's not always easy, as my shyness still creeps up sometimes, but I've made it a habit to simply talk to others. I very much enjoy it! ☺️ I believe cooking and baking are a form of expressing love to others. It’s done from the heart ♥️. I genuinely enjoy cooking and baking for my husband, our two boys, friends, family and our church community. Every other Friday, my husband has board game nights with friends, and I always bake goodies for him to bring. They joke that the only reason they go is for my baked goods. It makes me laugh, but I'm touched that they enjoy them so much. 💕
Dating nowadays just sucks for both parties. Women are anxious and men are intimidated to a detriment. I wish it wasn’t this way! And unrelated, but, I have the same record player that’s in your room, Amala! One of the best Amazon purchases ever 😅
I came out of high school looking for a long-term partner. Found him at 18 years old, we’ve been together ever since. Saw all my friends go through many short term relationships and one night stands while they told me what I was missing. Now at 25, less and less high quality men are out there and they are getting worried about finding the right guy. Needless to say, I am very happy with my choice and am so relieved to have found a wonderful man early on.
You sound like another chick that is extremely judgemental towards guys and another girl that is clueless about why she's struggling to get a guy or guys.
MM 40:00 through 41:37 I needed to hear. I've been on and off with a girl for the last three years. She just won't commit. Every time we get close to it, she bails, and I keep stupidly taking her back. I turn 38 today. I've been doing this with her since I was 35. It's not like I have an abundance of time, and it's not like the dating situation is getting any better. Probably time to let this one go and move on.
10:31Oh my god. I've cheated at life. Because I at 18 technically 17 have been wanting a Serious relationship. Never a single moment where i thought about a hook up
When I was in my 20's I started wearing Vibram Five Finger shoes and suddendly started noticing how everyone walks. I'm not a feet guy but after awhile I started noticing women wearing heels walk like they're injured which is not an attractive quality. Women who wear flats walk like a physically fit and active person which I like. So ladies, you dont need to wear uncomfortable heels to be attractive. Although, I realize i'm in the minority on this...Most guys i've asked do indeed like heels.
A wide toe splay and strong feet are pretty important for mobility and “fashionable” shoes are just a no go in functionality I don’t understand how people just kill their feet for no reason. Who even looks at what shoes you’re wearing anyway?😂
They look sooo bad at nightclubs. They walk like ducks and just look weird. I know no one finds it attractive except them. Guys will sleep with anything. They’d have better luck In a pair of jeans
I’ve never understood why people wear heels when they look like a newborn baby giraffe or stomp walk in them. 🤣 I wear them on occasion, but I can actually walk in them!
1:42:39 Bro, no way you said that after all this time?!? The divorce rate statistics does have the why & abuse isn't even top 5 reasons. Abuse lands at 9 ish reason & infidelity is #5 (who cheated is unspecified in the data) sheeesh how do u not know this RP talking point? The real talking point is: "50% of marriages end in divorce w/ the average length of 7 years. Of divorces 80% are initiated by women with the overwhelming reason given as irreconcilable differences & the most common statement being 'we grew apart' #2 & #3 reasons are both financial with either the man's income decreased or the woman started out earning the man." This is not survey data or any thing like that. It is all from actual legal court proceedings. Rollo did a whole breakdown on UA-cam & X with all sources.
They are tradcons. Just like daily wire they don't care about facts and stats unless it is aligned with their world view. In other words they are ideologues
My favorite has to be, “Stow away on a battleship”… like… were women doing this…? That doesn’t sound like it was safe to do THEN either. But real talk, as a woman, I can say that shoe is right. Most of us women aren’t the crazies you find online. Most of us don’t like H.R. World™️. Like with most demographics, the loud angry ones are the minority. They’re just loud and obnoxious. Most of us are normal human beings who want to be in a caring, functional relationship. I personally think that social media has had a lot to do with this polarization. People no longer view each other as human beings, worthy of respect and consideration when we’re behind a keyboard. That’s why I got off. I was tired of seeing people I knew and loved bashing each other over social media and thinking that the irl relationships would not be affected. The fact that women think they can get online and hate on men, and it not affect the real world is… let’s just say I’m not following their logic. The same can be said the other way around as well btw. We need to start realizing that our actions change things, and the way things are going, it’s time to change back.
Women are absolutely boring in online dating conversations. The guys know they get thousands of messages, so we don't even try anymore. Now I'm in monk mode💪
We dont think most women are the crazies. We think just about all women will let the crazies slide when it benefits the woman. Most woman probably dont delete their kids but most of you will defend the crazy’s opinion that it’s their right to delete them. That is our problem with your demographic. You dont stand for anything good
The homeless veteran’s super chats sounded very jaded and bitter over dating/women or ‘modern women’. Kudos to your poise while responding to them. Btw, I love your channel!
What a great stream! Loved Sh0e’s vid, loved the takes from A & Tay 👏🏻 There was some 🔥 in here! Ladies need to be more gracious to the men they aren’t attracted to but who shoot their shot!! Gawdamn! It’s like Amala said, we’re all in this together tryna find our one person! That’s comes with uncomfortable moments for both sexes. If men can be brave enough to approach, then we owe it to them to at least have grace and class! “Thank you, but I don’t think you and I are a fit. However I really respect that you had the guts to approach me; that’s a really attractive quality.” Like how hard is that??
On the note of finding a widower to pursue, the general consensus, on why that is something to be considered is that you know that if this person was a widower that they did not leave their last relationship because of any glaring character defects, poor behavior, and or inability to stay in a relationship.
At work there’s a guy who always air touches me and sometimes he “accidentally” holds my hand or puts his arm round my waist but then he has to joke it off by saying stuff like “whoops I didn’t ask for consent” and I always awkwardly laugh it off or joke that I’ll tell HR. But i really like him too and want to pull his hand back round my waist when he does that but I just freeze hahaha😅
I remember this one time it was raining, and I just knocked off from work, and it was raining that day, so I brought my umbrella. Was walking to catch a taxi with my colleagues and its starts raining so I open my umbrella and one of my colleagues sees this beautiful girl walk towards us and no umbrella in hand so he says to me "Dude here's your opportunity to get a girl cause you the only one at work who's not in a relationship and I know you haven't had one in a long time." So he becomes my wingman with this girl, and I felt brave enough to go through with it (unlike usual), so I accompanied her to where she was going and during the walk we got to talking and we vibed a lot the conversation just followed and we got to know each other a bit then we got to her destination and the think that has haunted me for the past 2 months is that when it was time to go our separate ways she lingered a bit , whole body facing towards me and smiling I think she wanted me to ask for her cell number but in my mind I thought she was being nice since I offered a rain shield, and we separated. After months of not thinking about it, it hits me like a brick wall that she might have been interested in us communicating further and she was great but me with my lack of confidence messed up big time and it plays in my head every time
Thank you for telling men to stop being so aggressive when approaching. I will never say yes when you ask for my number before even having a conversation with me. That’s an instant rejection automatically because I feel like you’re desperate and I’m just a prospect to you and not a person.
I used to take my dog on walks in public places to meet girls. Walking with a dog is like a natural +1 charisma modifier with a built in conversation starter
I do tend to be a bit ruminative and just have a problem with social awkwardness. I get clueless about the silent communications that I am just supposed to read as if I am reading their mind while watching their moves.
Hey now I put my 14 year old dog in a stroller to get her out 😅 she can't walk but still wants to go on adventures. I only go around my neighborhood though 😊
@acemarvel1564 mine tried and her legs gave out down two houses from my house. She is too big for me to carry so I bought a bike stroller I can also push so she can still get out. It helps alot to give them some happiness at the end of their life
34 here and a new mom, I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my husband and my little baby girl so much. I feel so so happy, and my void has been filled. Been with my husband for 10 years, and I met him at work, I wouldn't change it for anything.
I've never agreed with the saying "misery loves company." I think it's actually Debby Downer Syndrome, meaning people who are negative have a habit of being pessimistic, and it can be very hard to stop. Partly cuz they think they're being friendly and trying to be open, or being real, or sharing some wisdom, but often the intention doesn't land the way they mean.
As a guy I can say MOST of the advice shared is 100% true and useful. Even the opinions shared by the show hosts were wise beyond their years. I may have to save this video to watch later and share.
I’m starting to understand how much thought men put into approaching women first. I Saw a very handsome man at a diner eating with his friend. I wanted to talk to him first, but I thought it would be weird to interrupt, then I thought he might already be taken, then I thought I might not be his type, then I thought I would come off looking like an idiot. In the end I said nothing. A lot of turmoil goes into approaching first.
Problem is you said "very handsome". According to dating app data, women deem the attractiveness of 80% of men as below average. So, "very handsome" means at least a top 10% guy. If you are not a top 10% woman, he will most likely sleep with you and move on.
I'm 21 and I've always been single. So, I've never felt alone because I've never had that. I think I'm gonna stick to that because apparently my beliefs are too old or something.
Ive heard alot of women in their late teens early 20s talk about having a "first" husband when talking about plans for the future. I dont think ive ever heard a man plan on having a second wife before ever getting married once. 🤷
Much of my 1st year at university In the United States , I spent hanging out with women but I went to high school with and worked at a job with. Along with the women on their floors in the dorm. After a while It became sort of like being accepted by the group and it began to open up and talk more freely around me. What What I also learned was to talk to them You certainly didn't icebreaker to begin a conversation, But don't need to go in like a bull in a china shop. Find a way to initiate conversation that is non threatening disarming Talk to them like their people have a conversation. start there
This won't work. In general, the better guys will be cautious about subtlety. Eye contact and a smile could easily just mean she's friendly, not interested.
I asked out my husband but he did let me friend zone him for 3 years 😂😂 now we been happily together and married for 10 years and still every day is a new adventure for us 27:28
Happiness is not in self fulfillment you will only find true happiness in serving others and escaping the self. And also I recommend Jesus who instructs on how to do this :-) also, the saying, with great power comes great responsibility is backwards, the more responsibility you take on the more powerful and fulfilling your life becomes
The funny thing is. I'm far from Christian. But Ngl. Christianity isn't the answer. But by the Gods people as a whole could do so well to live by what jesus taught. Not the Bible, not the religion. But just the basic teachings of the Christ. Lot of issues with Christianity, but yeah, Jesus was a switched on guy. I think people can't seperate him from the religion. As just a good human, and wise man. I think he'd be mortified at Christianity personally. But his teachings really are a simple but effective core. Edit: On the vague off chance anyone reads this. Gnostic Christianity is a whole different ball game. Much more close to what Jesus taught than the main denominations. Very much shares similarities with Buddhism Tbh. Well worth a read on.
Dude have you ever had a dog that you have to walk? You will meet damn near everyone in your neighborhood or whatever park you frequent. The dog is also generally an ice breaker because those extraverted little bastards get excited over the smallest act of attention. I prefer cats. Let the traditional gender war rage while the war on gender continues. I accept that one or two generations are going to get screwed if things are to get fixed 👍
A person would only buy a dog if they're a dog lover! I am surprised anyone could be dubious about this potentially very lovely and healthy act when today complete strangers meet up for sex.
*you mean adopt a dog NOT buy and he/she NOT it, let’s not repeat history (and the present) by treating others as an object to buy/sell & own. NOBODY is that (:* you’d think a black woman would get it… and doggo mom is fine, calling yourself their owner and calling them an it, not fine. ALSO, all the dogs in strollers is because the dog can’t walk (sick/injured/disabled/old)…
Notice the term....."Long term". What does that even mean? How long is that? Smacks of the expectation of eventual and inevitable relationship failure.
As a man, I've always felt I wanted a woman who "gets the jokes." Mine, that is (I'm less concerned with how she feels about OTHER peoples' funny). It's just something I've always looked for in women. What women themselves are looking for I'll be damned if I know and I'm married (and divorced) three times.
I hear my nieces talk about dating (37 yrs old) and I’m not sure if to laugh or cry at their stories. My daughter tellls me she would be happy to find a man with teeth and a job. Do we need to lower our standards so in order to find a man?
Lets be real. There are millions of perfectly fine single average men out there. Problem is these men are tired of being the clean up guy for 35yo+ women that did not even notice them in their prime years (aka their 20s).
It makes me happy i got married at 19 and have 3 kids at 26 also its harder to have a younger child at 26 than it was when i was 19 when i had my first.
Dating sucks now. I’m 33 and gay, my brother’s 38 and straight. Both of us are fairly old fashioned when it comes to dating, and both of us are single and have been for several years. For him, he gets ghosted as soon as he asks girls out, and it seems most gay men in my area are either extremely promiscuous or in “open relationships” or something. It’s kinda crummy all across the board right now.
I’m in the same boat…all the gay guys in my area seem to be in open relationships or wants an open relationship. It’s almost impossible to meet someone who just wants a monogamous relationship
Oof same. Except I’m a girl…. Being conservative and gay is difficult, a lot of these people are extremely promiscuous which makes me turned off immediately!
The west plays games. My husband and I talked about marriage from the first messages we exchanged. He told me he was seeking a wife and wanted to get to know me better. No playing games, no nonsense. Just straight to the point and I loved it!
@@hkaayaakuuthere are plenty of us out there, and we are equally annoyed with men who play games with us lol. All we serious people have to do is find each other!
Some of those things from the 50's article were meant to be funny, like "stow away on a ship" or 'rent a billboard", or "make toupees"...it was tongue-in-cheek.
Same here. Safer though, given all the craziness out there these days - it's completely mental. To add insult to injury, the Government have a habit of overstepping the mark and introducing overly restrictive legislation. Michael Goves' very recent intervention on what constitutes hate or racism, being a case in point. As someone with a very cynical attitude towards anything Government supposedly do 'for our benefit' ( more like for their benefit !), it would seem that a certain situation was deliberately 'created' in order to give Government an excuse to introduce a 'solution'. If one thinks about said 'solution', it brings to mind what Benjamin Franklin once said, 'those who would give up their freedoms for security, deserve neither one'. I feel we're currently at that point - on the slippery slope, where our basic freedoms are being eroded, little by little, until one day, we wake up in a Police State. Oh, hang on.....
@@jamesbarbour8400the “intolerance” part of that legislation terrifies me. So subjective and so open to misuse. At least the Labour peer Shami Chakrabati is looking to challenge it in the courts.
@@jamesbarbour8400well with biden taken away title 9 not looking so good. Boys n girls lose so many right or let me say biological males n females. All about protecting trans now!
From what it looks like to me (as a luckily and happily married man) the rules for approaching women outside of a dating app is this: 1) Be attractive 2) Don't be unattractive And in dating apps...yeah I can't even imagine how guys now are using dating apps, it seems like hell
It's much worse. The rule is: 1) Be Attractive TO HER 2) Don't Be Unattractive TO ANYONE. Not only is it subjective, it's also entirely on a case by case basis, and if anyone even perceives you as being creepy, even if she likes you, you could still be in trouble.
@@paige5838 No one ever calls HR if an unattractive WOMAN shoots her shot. Also, if a woman is acting shy or nervous, it's cute. If she's nice and showing lots of attention, that's always a good thing. If a man acts shy or nervous or even attentive, it's weak at best and creepy at worst. Even most hot guys can't survive being nice guys. Most modern women want bad boys exclusively. So the only option is an "I am the best and you can't refuse" attitude, which is hot if she likes you but a crime if she doesn't. The problem isn't that a nonzero number of women say no. The problem is that the only approach that gets dinner dates also gets court dates. The only variable that reliably determines which you'll get is hotness. Hence, step 1 is be attractive.
I remember everyone that has ever given me home made food! Plus it has a lot of very attractive feminine sentiment built right in, it’s impressive, has keeper wholesome vibes instead of slooty vibes (which gets a way different type of interest) and locks in an automatically greatful guy for at least a moment of friendly conversation automatically with no real “approach or rejection fear” because it’s really indirect. If I was a woman I would be totally doing this one, cause I know just how well it would actually work lol.
Taylor's point at the beginning of the stream about baggage is so valid. Like i feel terrible sometimes about all the baggage i have from previous relationships and how that affects my life now.
I would counter that the baggage one carries are regrets and resentments that have not been dealt with. I was promiscuous in my 20’s but I was working on my issues and very upfront about how I wanted nothing but a physical relationship. Once I was ok with how my side of the street was, then I quit sleeping around and began seriously dating. I have no regrets or shame. To each their own, but before sleeping around, ask why you are doing it.
@@dannygavin9458I think you are kind of just adding to my point 😅 I do have regrets and resentments that I am currently dealing with. That is literally what baggage is imo. But if I had made more of an effort to respect myself and not give away my love and body to men that i didnt know well enough, I think I would be happier and I literally wouldnt have baggage XD Like im happy with how things have played out for me so far, I certainly learned from my experiences. But do I really need these traumas I have now accrued in my life? Not really. I could have made more of an effort to protect myself. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason. But I hope other women dont make the same mistakes as me. 😊
A woman did approach me and showed interest in me, so i returned the interest. But ive been told, i showed TOO MUCH interest, so now she just want me as a friend. It is the stupidest shit i have ever experienced. She is almost 10 years younger than me. I dont Tinder, and i dont seek women, im a single dad and im nice to those who want to be with me. This lady who apporached me has been brainwashed by shitty dating advice. Edit: Im not (very) hurt by this turnaround, i was just not aware that this was a thing, so i shared the story. I refuse to not show interest in a woman that i find interesting, as if this is some dating game, so i guess im screwed.
the only way around it is by issuing the either or. I don't want to be your friend I want to enter into a romantic relationship with you. If not, then I'm not interested
I don’t think you realize just how much chaos and misery you missed out on, when actually being with someone like that, that gave you a little preview. Have to be pretty careful with personality, It’s not like that gets better, it just accelerates into other insanities and disasters.
I’m 28 and met my husband at 19. So glad I didn’t listen to the mainstream , trusted my gut and settled down. We’ve had such a wonderful time together, done many fun things, grew together, supported each other, and I can’t imagine things any other way. Weird how at the time the mainstream society pushes the idea that it’s bad and doomed if you marry young and that you’re missing out if you don’t sleep around casually. We’ve achieved a lot together, and in the next few years plan on buying a house and starting a family. More young people need to have the mindset of looking for a spouse in their early 20s, instead of hoping one will magically come along around 30 something. Almost all of our friends are still single, I haven’t been to a single wedding as an adult except my own.
so you just havent been divorced yet, you are 28. it's coming. Telling people to get married younger isnt going to help the problem, when mature people cant even handle marriage. Come back to us a few years after you have kids and let us know how much your getting for child support while the kids live with him.
@@lawrencecrocker4870 Why are you pessimistic? Could the problem be not that people are marrying young, but actually the problem may be the personalities involved?
@@rogaken if theres a 66% chance that the glass is empty and and a 33% chance the glass is full, it would be realistic to guess the glass is empty not pessimistic. You fail to understand how statistics work directly with expectatikns
I'm a lesbian and dating is a STRUGGLE. I've tried apps with little luck. By the pictures and bios alone you can easily tell why the majority are single. Plus everyone and their mom is poly 🙃 Now I'm willing to essentially put myself into enemy territory by seeking out lgbt events, because I do like to believe that there are rational people out there. So here's to hoping I can avoid being branded an -ist -phobe for having a shred of sense and independent thinking
Being gay and conservative must be rough. There are a lot of insufferable lefties in the lgbt ranks. It's hard enough being a guy who likes girls with short or colored hair.
@@VDOTU5cause people want all the cake’s pieces 😩 like, it’s so easy today to just skip onto the next person when someone does a small little thing we dislike. It’s so ridiculous. Patience, respect and openness is so essential in relationships 🥺 when people up and leave, you know what they’re lacking
I thought I was going to get out of the house to go pay a couple of bills but I found that the tires on my care are encased in ice and the car will not move so I came back inside and paid the bills on the phone instead.
yup, its entirely this one app. you can only find the worst and most horrible aspects of humanity on tiktok, but all other internet sites and apps are 100% ok. SMRT
I mean, tiktok is fun for stuff we also liked as kids like lipsyncing and dancing and innocent stuff like that, but yah don’t take the stuff said on there seriously, most if not 99% is unhinged or just bs lol
I was widowed in my early 30s before the chance to have children arose yet, I've been trying to find a new partner ever since but in this age's dating game it seems IMPOSSIBLE! I'll be 38 soon and the thought I'll become one of the single, childless women in the stats keeps me up at night.
If you really want a baby, don't wait for the right man, just have your baby. I had one at 34 and was unable to have another despite trying very hard. Good luck to you x
@@nicoleizard2965 lieing to her doesnt help. this is the problem, not all women are princesses with perfect personalities who dont need to work on themselves. Im sorry her husband died, but its been 8 years, perhaps it's time she move on and work on herself.
I'm really sorry to hear this, thank you for sharing! I'm a 26 year old single woman, I have no wise words, other than I understand your worries and fear. I hope you get the family you deserve one day! ❤️
From someone across the world from where a majority of you I suspect are, dating still sucks. I'm from the Philippines, 35 years old, female. Most men here my age range are either already married with kids or just looking around to hook up. The culture here is still "if you're not married by (insert age here) what the heck are you doing with your life?" 4 months ago I was dating an American long-distance, but broke up because of this distance. We still love and care about each other and talk every day but the reality was there was no way we could be together. Deep down I still love him but it's probably best I move on somehow. I'm not so good alone and I'm not giving up on finding love, but some days watching how dating is these days and the reality of it all I'm not expecting too much anymore
Why did you break up? Why wouldn’t you be able to be together? You could’ve immigrated to the US. I did with my husband. I was in the Netherlands, and we did a fiancée visa at the time. I would’ve never met someone like him in a million years. Some distance wasn’t going to stop us. And yes most of our communication was online, FaceTiming, texting. He was able to visit 2/3 times. It’s been 9 years married now with a 5th child on the way.
@@alqoshgirl my visa has been denied three times due to insufficient funds; covid and the reality of todays economy took a toll on me financially. He's in the Army, he can technically take two weeks off to see me but it's hard to find the time due to his responsibilities. We still videochat, text and send silly memes pretty much every day and honestly it's not like either of our feelings died. We still want to be together, but it's the reality that neither one of us can get to each other any time soon and we don't want to hold each other back from finding someone. Maybe one day it will happen, but what with his job, his deployment, my own responsibilities and financial issues, tbh I'm not holding my breath... Congrats on your fifth child. Wishing you and your family all the love
Yeah that date example you gave (the hike) is NOT reasonable flexibility. Plus as you said - manipulative given it was a planned test. It is one thing if you didn’t check ahead and the restaurant you wanted to take her to is closed, so you switch and go to a different venue, or say hey given this happened let’s pick up some things and have a picnic, and lay down a blanket. And then when that kind of thing happens organically, be able to observe whether she is collected about it or whether she loses her mind. It’s another thing entirely to completely change the plan and the expectations you had set for no real reason, and expect someone to just go along with it even if it will be entirely uncomfortable and unreasonable given what you had previously had them plan for. That type of thing would actually tell me the guy is unstable and erratic if he is changing his mind like that, which is not an attractive or masculine quality.
My ex kept track of how long I hadn't said "I love you" to him. We cooked together, watched shows together, gamed together. It was pretty obvious that we loved each other. But noooo, he had to play games and test how long I went without saying it and then use that in a fight against me. 😑
I think flirting is dead. Why am I being quizzed about my sex life 5 minutes within matching with a guy on an app? Bro I don't know you. Now I don't want to, either.
I don't know a single mate that's successful with women that uses dating apps, in fact it's the opposite. Seems like most guys i know that used it for more than 3 months are on there because they don't have much luck approaching women in person
Flirting and the art of conversation with wit and banter is what is lacking, these are not to be found on dating apps. Every woman I've known and or been involved with is always been on the basis of mutual respect through genuine conversation. If two people are interested in each other then it happens by getting to know each other.
@@kevincurr4641 I have a feeling a lot of men mistake the getting-to-know process for the friendzone. In reality, the fast track approach to sex (which remains sex only) is not how women work. Dating apps have slowly edged out the usual ways of approaching someone in favour of a mechanic that looks a lot like shopping, by actually demonising the former. The hilarious thing is, if some random person approached you and immediately started dropping innuendos, you'd think they were a huge creep, with legitimate reason. On apps you can't even gauge their demeanour, or vibe, or anything at all that's not carefully curated. All but invites duplicity. So how are they the respectful approach in any way?
@@black-alisswhile I agree with a lot of what you said but the problem these days, is that us guys have to emotionally invest in someone that won't give us a guarantee, A guarantee that we won't be friendzoned and that has happened way to often. Now I'm only willing to invest into a relationship if I'm getting rumpy pumpy from the get go. That way I won't feel like I'm being used and I feel most men agree with me
@@berrymckockiner5883 The female side of this is: if we're going to get invested in whatever you're giving, we'd like some sort of guarantee that you're not working over 52 other girls concurrently. There's no guarantee for that either.
I would strongly advice against this, because we (the west) have tried this and the result was people who are still in the dating phase after 5+ years or people checking out on the superficiality. Women need to get it together and start taking things seriously. The west has become gynocentric and as a result the western cultures are vapid and superficial. The number of 30+ y.o. women I've met who gasp on the first date at being asked how many children they want or don't know what their core values are, is astonishing. If we ever want to leave "HR world" and enter a more meaningful existence, we have to become willing to talk about more meaningful stuff.
@@DarknessProphet it's like you're trying to disagree just for the sake of it. Dating is one thing, approaching a stranger for the first time is another thing.
@@DarknessProphet Yeah dude I actually agree! Although - 'meaningful' can sometimes overwhelm people on first meeting. I'm sure we need to find the balance between low-stakes and meaningful :0 x
@@renenetatm8222 It's more a case of people want to keep things low-stakes forever. To quote Amala: "What really comes off as creepy...is men who are coming to you and talking to you with the direct intent of moving the whole conversation in a sort of a romantic or sexual direction almost immediately." Asking someone out shows a direct intent towards either the romantic or sexual. Outside of women, I've never head anyone say they date without the intent of getting involved with that other person. As a result, this comes down to not asking women out and you're back at the start. Amala does this a lot in this video (like saying you should start exploring life at 25 and you can settle down later, even though that is part of the reason why women are increasingly more lonely).
I really loved how Shoe mentioned how nowadays the only acceptable way to find someone is through swiping. I meet so many women that act like there couldn't be any other way to date people. It's like they want to be in control in every aspect of their lives, including controlling when and how other people want to date them. So they would be dumbfounded if a guy from the pilates classes, gym, dance classes, etc would hit on them. They don't even look at hobbies like a way to connect with people so that they'd find someone interested. It's either dating apps or clubs. In the beginning dating apps were there to facilitate dating, but know it is viewed as the norm, and if you dare to hit on a woman from your dance classes, you're a creep.
Years and years of social media inflating their egos make the average woman (which is 165lbs) think she deserves Idris Elba and won’t settle for anything less. I care as much about this as the average Tik Tok feminist does about male issues.
Ok I gotta stop you there, you’re right but 165??? Just say overweight. Most women are skinny at 140 in america (unless you’re super short) I was nearing the starting stages of aneroxia at 130 and I’m only 5 8 I feel the need to mention this because I hear grown ass men claiming women who are my height should be 110 and it’s just absolutely bonkers 😂
I‘m 34. never sleeped around and am single. My last relationship was 10 years ago. Honestly I have no idea where to find normal person to be with. All want ONS….😢
To the laughing thing… It’s a thing. One of my favorite things to do is laugh - inside jokes with friends, standup comedy, etc. Laughter is a dopamine hit! My husband is hilarious, and every guy I’ve ever been attracted to was funny, and making me laugh enhanced the attraction, not the other way around. But I’m also prone to cracking a lot of jokes, as well.
30:30 girl yes, I just discovered that recently. Home Depot & and Lowes is where you find "do it yourself," "get the job done," hard-working, self-promoting, self-employed, focused, driven, traditional men. I did not know this.😂 Downfall....or rather an upfall is that the good ones are so focused that they kind of have the shutters on for a minute.
It’s not even the rejection that we fear it’s the fact that you’d get ridiculed and made fun of, if not publicly, it’s immortalised on the internet. Now that’s something. We can all take rejection it’s just all the extra shit that comes with it now that sucks.
Life is whatever "you make it." Relationships are entirely reciprocal. If you end up married and lonely that's on you as much as your spouse. Everyone's agency so do something with it. May as well had spouted out the old adage "Alone in a crowd".
Who said that being married is being lonely? It's been seven years that I'm married and happy. You don't feel lonely when you are married to the right person. Wish you to find yours.
Amala you are amazing. It's not the rejection I'm scared of. I can get rejected all day and I have been. The problem is I am scared to death of having my name dragged through the mud because some girl I'm talking to takes something the wrong way. Or if I happen to come off not 100% harmless that I might be put on blast for no reason.
I think this is quite an important discussion. I just want to add. Not all incels are bad. As a incel myself i want to say it is easy to end up in echo chambers that reinforces hate on women to justify not working on oneself. But there are lot of us who can see how ridiculous and harmful such hateful beliefs are. I am an incel. I know i have nothing to offer or bring to the table in a relationship. But i dont project that onto women. It would be disrespectful to women who are our family and close friends. We know they are awesome. We don't wish our loneliness on anybody. We know how much of a pain it is. Please don't hate on all of us incels. Not all incels are vile dumbasses. May be we need a different name for such people.
My husband approached me in a way. Met organically through mutual friends, he got my number from one of them and he texted me and asked me out. And honestly, I respected him so much for that. So guys, no. Not all women will find you creepy if you approach them. Literally all you have to do is keep it simple. Tell her that you enjoyed talking to her (if you've already had a conversation) and/or you thought she was really pretty and you were wondering if you could take her out. If you're afraid of the rejection, it's really not the end of the world. Just move on.
It’s not rejection it’s the possibility of the crazed reaction being called a creep and having your interaction posted online. God forbid you hold the door open for a woman these days
I wish women had a better way of indicating they're not attracted to you than thinly veiled (if you're lucky) disgust. Being rejected is a bummer but it's not a big deal. The part that killed my soul is the /way/ women often rejected me (back when I was trying to date). It's this vibe they give off that you're doing something very bad and that you should be ashamed of even asking. Like a "how dare you?" sort of energy. Like fuck me for being vulnerable I guess. I suppose what I'm asking for is for women to say "no, but good luck out there" instead of "no way, weirdo. Stop bothering people"
God I can't imagine the dating world out there. Im lucky I met my husband 6 years ago through a UA-cam comment from a pro life video. It saved us a lot of headaches lol.
I met my husband at work. I was constantly berated and he was encouraged to break off the relationship. Once we moved, we became very happy, had a kid, and have been married for nearly 5 years now with no more issues
Listening to the prophets of "hook up culture" is one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I had no idea how to connect to people so I went ahead and put out when I got attention. This went on for 2 years and after sleeping with people who did care about me as a person, much less if I was even enjoying myself, I came out the other side with sexual trauma that still affects me today. I am now married with a baby but I wish my husband was the only person I'd ever been with...
I’m a married woman in my 20s. I was sold the feminist narrative hard in college, and got to the point where after four years of being surrounded in it, I believed it. But now that I’ve been in a loving and committed marriage for almost 5 years, I see what this mindset is doing to my family members and it makes me so sad. My question to this movement is: what is empowering about this? Think back on each of the guys you’ve slept with (don’t tell me the number, I don’t need to know) and ask yourself if each and every one of them have treated you with respect. Then ask yourself why you feel the need to the maladaptive normalize behaviors of men (that you don’t even like) with women. If you don’t like fuckboys, why are you trying to get women to act like fuckboys?
Dating has just become a thing where the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Like Sh0e points out: we're living in HR world. And no one likes HR world.
💯
Even the people actually dating now are incredibly disconnected from each-other. Something is going very wrong out there.
huh ? all this to say u want to harass ur coworkers
@@thereallazygirl haha u crayzy gal
@@thereallazygirl how'd you get that from my comment? You're crazy 🤣
*skips ad*
“Thank you for not skipping the ad”
😂😂😂
I dont for sh0es sake
Shoe always guilts me into watching it.
@@linstar9172 sh0e?
@@linstar9172 That sounds like a people-pleasing tendency. They know people are going to skip it, nor are you obligated to watch it. If that help you feel not-guilty.
@@viiiRA_ For normal viewers that may be an okay way to look at it, but if you react to someone's video, you better show the only part they can still make money from. That is really just basic etiquette if you get into the morally grey field of react content. Don't play the video if you are away from your keyboard to "entertain" the audience when you are gone, don't skip the ads, and do link to the original video and creator in a clear way.
I’m 30, and I’ve been on dates, but I’ve never had a boyfriend. The few guys I went on more than one date with were either glaringly wrong choices (one sold meth and the other lied about having a kid), or they broke it off and told me I was just too unattractive.
It feels pretty hopeless out there.
😂
@@cavaleirosemlicenca3894 Gee. Glad you find my troubles so amusing.
@@cavaleirosemlicenca3894idk where they find these people
@@cavaleirosemlicenca3894 Why are you LAUGHING?! That's pretty cruel to laugh at someone's predicament!
@@DonnaBrooks awful person laughing
My best friend would pick my daughter and take her and his daughter to the park.
When I asked him if he was using the girls to pick up women. He said “where else would I meet a nice single mom?” I think that is brilliant.
But u guys did not think of each other?
@@hkaayaakuushe’s probably married lol
@@DJ-cm8xj male best friend, that's a tough one among husbands
There is a difference between rejection, which is fine, and some of the things that I have experienced. I approached as a friend and was accused of stalker her. We were in college at the time, and that semester, we shared 3 classes out 5 classes. I had to drop all 3 classes and later on leave the college completely. So approaching a woman put me behind 2 years.
take some accountability . u dropped out coz u had no ambition and was lazy stop blaming a woman for it
@@thereallazygirl projecting much 🤣
@@thereallazygirl I am not blaming the woman. I am blaming the white knights that overreacted to a false accusation, those are the ones that caused the issues that I had to deal with. I even had to deal with threats against me, that could be implied to be death threats, from the campus police. When it got to this point, yes, I could have stayed and fought. That could have been the course I could have taken, if I was only concerned about myself. I was concerned about my mother and her declining health, so I decided to drop out and move in with her as I rebuilt my life while taken care of her.
Another factor to me dropping out is because of threats that I received and because she and I had similar majors. To put it simply to avoid further accusations of stalking her, I had to avoid her. This meant staying away from her, so I had to stay away her dorm building, avoid being in the same class that she maybe in or building that she might be in. To do this I would have to change my major to something I did not want, all of the technical or engineering-based classes were in the same building. I also would have had to avoid general education classes, because I did not know if she had completed them or not.
Again, this is not to blame her, I do not even know that she is aware of what happened to me as the white knights were trying to defend her from me. I do not even remember her name or face. I do remember the police officer from the campus police telling, how easy it would be to make me disappear.
Next, I have a bachelor's degree in computer science, and I received that bachelor's while I was taken care of my mother, who had severe medical conditions at the time. I have developed 2 mobile games and I currently developing a computer game while working a full-time job.
So, please stop and think, before you overreact to something that may offend you and start throwing insults. I really do not care what you think of me, after all I am just another piece of trash trying to carve out a life for myself.
To make the point I was trying to get at is the painful rejections that get other people involved can get the rejected person hurt or killed. This is why I am still single and have missed some very blatant signs of interest. Simple because I misread signals or lack of signals that she was sending.
Well either way, I am trying to get therapy and some type of help so I can heal from past traumas and to help develop social skills that should I have developed.
@@thereallazygirl People like you are the problem.
I'm really sorry to hear that
I'm a decent looking guy, but I'm always busy. I workout five days a week, work 40+ hours a week, meal prep weekly, am writing a book, and pursuing an apprenticeship as an electrician. I haven’t even dated yet, but when I look around I just don't see a lot of women I want to date.
You need to stop writing a book.
You just came out of the closet. Congratulations!
@@andrewkononenko2504 Why?
👍 My oldest son is literally almost doing the exact same thing at 22! Only difference is that he's engaged to a beautiful young woman and instead of writing a book he is working on creating a video game with a couple of his friends! You have the right idea, continue doing what you love and hopefully you will meet someone who shares your interests ❤
@@andrewkononenko2504 yes because thats the problem 🤦♀️ atleast he has an interesting hobby/personal interest, its not an easy thing to do either, "stop writing a book then all of a sudden women will magically appear in your life", usually its the ones who have nothing, no talent, no skills, no gifts or creatively independent capabilities who try to tell others to not peruse their own interests that the other will never accomplish, remember every single thing you use in your daily life was designed, written by and built by somone/people, lables on bottles, how would you know whats in the bottle if someone didn't write what was in it, how are you typing in English if someone didn't write/create this language in the first place. 😂😂 🤦♀️
This is so interesting as I think about my grandparents. My grandmother was married had 2 kids and widowed by 22. My grandpa was introduced to her because he was neighbors to her and aunt. He literally said that they invited him to play cards with “that ole widow woman” 😅. They were in each others circles then her car broke down and he came to fix it. That’s why I’m here. It’s wild.
so cute!
Wow! I was widowed at 29 with three kids, thankfully I met a lovely man on Tinder and we've been together five years now. If I hadn't met him I often wondered if there were widow/widower places where you could meet people whose spouse died and find someone to date there. I love your story about your granny.
Why is this wild? As an Asian this is my reality. And yes I feel we are happier
Me: U.S.A. citizen, 5'6" slim heterosexual guy who finds tattoos and piercings on women beyond the ear lobes unnatrractive
Pretty much every woman, including the sane ones: * Exactly the type to turn me off or turn me away *
Hearing people advise me to not give up looking for a woman to settle with is like somebody telling me to keep trying to touch pretty clouds.
My brother in christ, are you sure it’s women you’re attracted to.. I mean this seriously if every woman is turning you off then that doesn’t add up
@@danielle-sheehan How did you miss the words * or turn me away *
What sucks in today's dating times people have more expectations over the other person. May that be looks, financially super amazing or just for a fling. Meds, depression, I DON'T need to man mentality. all these play a horrible for loneliness and high expectations for others. And for some people they just want to sleep quicky then have that connection for long term. It's sad. I am a woman and I'd love to have a relationship.
I'm 64 and alone for the past 20 years. I can't stand the attitudes of women (or most men) these days. I'll just stay alone and know the loneliness is better than the alternative
I’m only 39, and I’ve known for several years now that if my husband kicks the bucket before me, or something happens to us, I’ll be alone af for the rest of my life and be content. I don’t have the mental and emotional bandwidth to ever do a relationship again. And I don’t need casual hookups, either. I just need my peace.
🙌🏻
Older people who are or were married warn others that it's better to stay single to save the stress/headache/misery. People who are young and single warn others to marry or else you'll be alone and miserable. Lmao.
I don’t think old people have the same issue we do. Im 25, we are screwed
I think that the real problem is that many people don't believe in true love anymore. So they are looking for a relationship or not, for many bad reasons but not love. Love still exist it's what you should aim for.
"Girls today are burning grilled cheese"-- I feel seen. 😅
The part about bake a tasty apple pie is real.
I wasn’t a very well liked dude in high school (story for a different time), so I didn’t have a lot of friends or romantic interactions. I dated girls way outside my school district.
But there was this girl who I’ll never forget. She always was so nice. She dressed in bright colors and always had her hair done in different ways with bows or head bands with fun things on them. She wore dresses and just was all around a very feminine and sweet girl. One of the only ones who didn’t treat me differently.
Anyway one day she brings in some sort of baked good to school. I’m pretty sure it was muffins. I tried one and was floored. It was so fuckin good. I talked to her about them and she said she loves to bake and has all these recipes she loves to make and try to tweak and stuff. Before this I had a crush on her but by now it’s full on like and want.
She tells me that since I liked her muffin so much she will bake me some cookies and muffins and bring them in for me. *cue heart beating out of my chest like a cartoon who’s in love*. But I knew she wouldn’t because .. well stuff like that didn’t happen to me lol
But a couple days later she walks down the hall, calls my name and infront of everyone she gives me containers with muffins and cookies and other stuff. My face is red, hers is glistening like an angel in the sun, and everybody else’s is confused.
I promise you on everything, even at school I think by the end of the day there was only like 1 muffin left and a couple cookies. I thanked her a million times and she just was so.. chill about it. As if she didn’t just about have me on my knee proposing to her then and there.
Unfortunately this story doesn’t come to a good end. Things went as far as an almost date but insecurities on my part and my desire to not have the school treat her like shit because a decently popular girl was giving me the time of day let alone dating me.
She’s married now and I’m happy for her even though I kick myself every day for not just seeing what could have been.
I’ll never forget that time in school. It was one of the best.
Sorry for the long comment
TLDR: Popular girl gives high school nobody food and he becomes in love and loses her because of insecurities. Learn to cook/bake girls you’ll land any guy you want.
I once gave a guy a jar if homemade jam. I wasn't sure if I should give it to him, but my BIL assured me that food is the way to guy's heart. My own insecurities ruined it too. The guy loved it and tried to start a conversation with me. I could barely talk to him and he never asked me out. I think you're right about learning to cook and bake, but it feels like it's for nothing if I don't have enough social skills.
Aww I was smiling throughout your paragraph
Too bad what happened. I can relate I've been in somewhat similar scenarios
@@Katharine888I agree. The skills to carry on a conversation into a relation and even further is not something everyone already possesses. I used to be good at starting convos but couldn't carry them on . Now I'm not good at either . But as I've heard fake it till u make it. Gotta get it done cause nobody else will lookout for your love life
Thank you for sharing your heartwarming story. It’s a treasured memory to remember!
Growing up, I was incredibly shy and quiet, struggling with major social anxiety. I missed out on some opportunities and fun hobbies because of fear and insecurity. Sending you virtual hugs, but I totally understand.
It wasn't until my early adulthood that I challenged myself to speak to people more, and over the years, I've had some wonderful, genuine conversations with complete strangers. It's not always easy, as my shyness still creeps up sometimes, but I've made it a habit to simply talk to others. I very much enjoy it! ☺️
I believe cooking and baking are a form of expressing love to others. It’s done from the heart ♥️. I genuinely enjoy cooking and baking for my husband, our two boys, friends, family and our church community. Every other Friday, my husband has board game nights with friends, and I always bake goodies for him to bring. They joke that the only reason they go is for my baked goods. It makes me laugh, but I'm touched that they enjoy them so much. 💕
Dating nowadays just sucks for both parties. Women are anxious and men are intimidated to a detriment. I wish it wasn’t this way! And unrelated, but, I have the same record player that’s in your room, Amala! One of the best Amazon purchases ever 😅
I came out of high school looking for a long-term partner. Found him at 18 years old, we’ve been together ever since. Saw all my friends go through many short term relationships and one night stands while they told me what I was missing. Now at 25, less and less high quality men are out there and they are getting worried about finding the right guy. Needless to say, I am very happy with my choice and am so relieved to have found a wonderful man early on.
I’m happy for you but even at 17 now it’s harder, I genuinely think there’s not much hope
You sound like another chick that is extremely judgemental towards guys and another girl that is clueless about why she's struggling to get a guy or guys.
Why is your username a prescription?
@@darkdrake13 Obviously because I am a pharmacology enthusiast.
Plenty of good men out there yall just don’t want them lol
MM 40:00 through 41:37 I needed to hear. I've been on and off with a girl for the last three years. She just won't commit. Every time we get close to it, she bails, and I keep stupidly taking her back. I turn 38 today. I've been doing this with her since I was 35. It's not like I have an abundance of time, and it's not like the dating situation is getting any better. Probably time to let this one go and move on.
10:31Oh my god. I've cheated at life. Because I at 18 technically 17 have been wanting a Serious relationship. Never a single moment where i thought about a hook up
When I was in my 20's I started wearing Vibram Five Finger shoes and suddendly started noticing how everyone walks. I'm not a feet guy but after awhile I started noticing women wearing heels walk like they're injured which is not an attractive quality. Women who wear flats walk like a physically fit and active person which I like. So ladies, you dont need to wear uncomfortable heels to be attractive. Although, I realize i'm in the minority on this...Most guys i've asked do indeed like heels.
I think High heels are ugly
A wide toe splay and strong feet are pretty important for mobility and “fashionable” shoes are just a no go in functionality I don’t understand how people just kill their feet for no reason. Who even looks at what shoes you’re wearing anyway?😂
They look sooo bad at nightclubs. They walk like ducks and just look weird. I know no one finds it attractive except them. Guys will sleep with anything. They’d have better luck In a pair of jeans
I’ve never understood why people wear heels when they look like a newborn baby giraffe or stomp walk in them. 🤣 I wear them on occasion, but I can actually walk in them!
🙄
1:42:39
Bro, no way you said that after all this time?!? The divorce rate statistics does have the why & abuse isn't even top 5 reasons. Abuse lands at 9 ish reason & infidelity is #5 (who cheated is unspecified in the data) sheeesh how do u not know this RP talking point?
The real talking point is: "50% of marriages end in divorce w/ the average length of 7 years. Of divorces 80% are initiated by women with the overwhelming reason given as irreconcilable differences & the most common statement being 'we grew apart' #2 & #3 reasons are both financial with either the man's income decreased or the woman started out earning the man."
This is not survey data or any thing like that. It is all from actual legal court proceedings. Rollo did a whole breakdown on UA-cam & X with all sources.
They are tradcons. Just like daily wire they don't care about facts and stats unless it is aligned with their world view.
In other words they are ideologues
My parents say ghosting just didn't exist when they were young. Everyone kept talking to everyone.
My favorite has to be, “Stow away on a battleship”… like… were women doing this…? That doesn’t sound like it was safe to do THEN either.
But real talk, as a woman, I can say that shoe is right. Most of us women aren’t the crazies you find online. Most of us don’t like H.R. World™️. Like with most demographics, the loud angry ones are the minority. They’re just loud and obnoxious. Most of us are normal human beings who want to be in a caring, functional relationship. I personally think that social media has had a lot to do with this polarization. People no longer view each other as human beings, worthy of respect and consideration when we’re behind a keyboard. That’s why I got off. I was tired of seeing people I knew and loved bashing each other over social media and thinking that the irl relationships would not be affected. The fact that women think they can get online and hate on men, and it not affect the real world is… let’s just say I’m not following their logic. The same can be said the other way around as well btw. We need to start realizing that our actions change things, and the way things are going, it’s time to change back.
Pretty sure that list was meant to be tongue in cheek
Women are absolutely boring in online dating conversations. The guys know they get thousands of messages, so we don't even try anymore. Now I'm in monk mode💪
We dont think most women are the crazies. We think just about all women will let the crazies slide when it benefits the woman. Most woman probably dont delete their kids but most of you will defend the crazy’s opinion that it’s their right to delete them. That is our problem with your demographic. You dont stand for anything good
The homeless veteran’s super chats sounded very jaded and bitter over dating/women or ‘modern women’. Kudos to your poise while responding to them. Btw, I love your channel!
What a great stream! Loved Sh0e’s vid, loved the takes from A & Tay 👏🏻 There was some 🔥 in here! Ladies need to be more gracious to the men they aren’t attracted to but who shoot their shot!! Gawdamn! It’s like Amala said, we’re all in this together tryna find our one person! That’s comes with uncomfortable moments for both sexes. If men can be brave enough to approach, then we owe it to them to at least have grace and class! “Thank you, but I don’t think you and I are a fit. However I really respect that you had the guts to approach me; that’s a really attractive quality.” Like how hard is that??
I’m so blessed I somehow found the love of my life already, the dating culture/pool right now seems like an absolute pit of doom
On the note of finding a widower to pursue, the general consensus, on why that is something to be considered is that you know that if this person was a widower that they did not leave their last relationship because of any glaring character defects, poor behavior, and or inability to stay in a relationship.
The intro song is SUCH A BOP DROP IT NOW AMALAAAA!!!
At work there’s a guy who always air touches me and sometimes he “accidentally” holds my hand or puts his arm round my waist but then he has to joke it off by saying stuff like “whoops I didn’t ask for consent” and I always awkwardly laugh it off or joke that I’ll tell HR. But i really like him too and want to pull his hand back round my waist when he does that but I just freeze hahaha😅
You can tell him that you consent. It's clear the guy wants to be close to you but is afraid of making you uncomfortable. Overall with men, be direct.
I remember this one time it was raining, and I just knocked off from work, and it was raining that day, so I brought my umbrella. Was walking to catch a taxi with my colleagues and its starts raining so I open my umbrella and one of my colleagues sees this beautiful girl walk towards us and no umbrella in hand so he says to me "Dude here's your opportunity to get a girl cause you the only one at work who's not in a relationship and I know you haven't had one in a long time." So he becomes my wingman with this girl, and I felt brave enough to go through with it (unlike usual), so I accompanied her to where she was going and during the walk we got to talking and we vibed a lot the conversation just followed and we got to know each other a bit then we got to her destination and the think that has haunted me for the past 2 months is that when it was time to go our separate ways she lingered a bit , whole body facing towards me and smiling I think she wanted me to ask for her cell number but in my mind I thought she was being nice since I offered a rain shield, and we separated. After months of not thinking about it, it hits me like a brick wall that she might have been interested in us communicating further and she was great but me with my lack of confidence messed up big time and it plays in my head every time
Thank you for telling men to stop being so aggressive when approaching. I will never say yes when you ask for my number before even having a conversation with me. That’s an instant rejection automatically because I feel like you’re desperate and I’m just a prospect to you and not a person.
I used to take my dog on walks in public places to meet girls. Walking with a dog is like a natural +1 charisma modifier with a built in conversation starter
If they aren't willing to exchange vows, don't try building any kind of family on that foundation.
I do tend to be a bit ruminative and just have a problem with social awkwardness. I get clueless about the silent communications that I am just supposed to read as if I am reading their mind while watching their moves.
All extroverts get lonely pretty easily. It doesn't matter the age or sex, they require energy from others.
Hey now I put my 14 year old dog in a stroller to get her out 😅 she can't walk but still wants to go on adventures. I only go around my neighborhood though 😊
Mines 15 and still walks
Though sometimes I worry
@acemarvel1564 mine tried and her legs gave out down two houses from my house. She is too big for me to carry so I bought a bike stroller I can also push so she can still get out. It helps alot to give them some happiness at the end of their life
115 Rent a billboard. You and Shoe both went Noooooooooo! I'm sitting here thinking isn't 'join a dating app' the modern equivalent of this advice?
34 here and a new mom, I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my husband and my little baby girl so much. I feel so so happy, and my void has been filled. Been with my husband for 10 years,
and I met him at work, I wouldn't change it for anything.
I've never agreed with the saying "misery loves company." I think it's actually Debby Downer Syndrome, meaning people who are negative have a habit of being pessimistic, and it can be very hard to stop. Partly cuz they think they're being friendly and trying to be open, or being real, or sharing some wisdom, but often the intention doesn't land the way they mean.
As a guy I can say MOST of the advice shared is 100% true and useful. Even the opinions shared by the show hosts were wise beyond their years. I may have to save this video to watch later and share.
I’m starting to understand how much thought men put into approaching women first.
I Saw a very handsome man at a diner eating with his friend. I wanted to talk to him first, but I thought it would be weird to interrupt, then I thought he might already be taken, then I thought I might not be his type, then I thought I would come off looking like an idiot. In the end I said nothing.
A lot of turmoil goes into approaching first.
Problem is you said "very handsome". According to dating app data, women deem the attractiveness of 80% of men as below average. So, "very handsome" means at least a top 10% guy. If you are not a top 10% woman, he will most likely sleep with you and move on.
love a woman who makes me laugh
Lame
@@bxi1547 he should feel anger and anxiety then?
For me... as a female. I like it when a man laughs at my humor, but I like a funny man too... it has to do both ways for me.
I'm 21 and I've always been single. So, I've never felt alone because I've never had that. I think I'm gonna stick to that because apparently my beliefs are too old or something.
"Run a company.... become a doctor"
Says the spinster low tier journalist
Ive heard alot of women in their late teens early 20s talk about having a "first" husband when talking about plans for the future. I dont think ive ever heard a man plan on having a second wife before ever getting married once. 🤷
Much of my 1st year at university In the United States , I spent hanging out with women but I went to high school with and worked at a job with. Along with the women on their floors in the dorm. After a while It became sort of like being accepted by the group and it began to open up and talk more freely around me. What What I also learned was to talk to them You certainly didn't icebreaker to begin a conversation, But don't need to go in like a bull in a china shop. Find a way to initiate conversation that is non threatening disarming Talk to them like their people have a conversation. start there
I am currently 57 years old and every woman I’ve been with pass away before me how does anybody get through that?
Literally all I can think of doing nowadays is making eye contact and smiling every now and then and he still won’t come up to me 🙄🙄
This won't work. In general, the better guys will be cautious about subtlety. Eye contact and a smile could easily just mean she's friendly, not interested.
I asked out my husband but he did let me friend zone him for 3 years 😂😂 now we been happily together and married for 10 years and still every day is a new adventure for us 27:28
*what if he’s freshly widowed because he just murdered her?*
Are there like female incels? I can’t think of a good equivalent.
Yes Femcels
Happiness is not in self fulfillment you will only find true happiness in serving others and escaping the self. And also I recommend Jesus who instructs on how to do this :-) also, the saying, with great power comes great responsibility is backwards, the more responsibility you take on the more powerful and fulfilling your life becomes
The funny thing is. I'm far from Christian. But Ngl. Christianity isn't the answer. But by the Gods people as a whole could do so well to live by what jesus taught. Not the Bible, not the religion. But just the basic teachings of the Christ. Lot of issues with Christianity, but yeah, Jesus was a switched on guy. I think people can't seperate him from the religion. As just a good human, and wise man. I think he'd be mortified at Christianity personally. But his teachings really are a simple but effective core. Edit: On the vague off chance anyone reads this. Gnostic Christianity is a whole different ball game. Much more close to what Jesus taught than the main denominations. Very much shares similarities with Buddhism Tbh. Well worth a read on.
Yes! Religion sucks :) relationship with Jesus is where it’s at
Dude have you ever had a dog that you have to walk? You will meet damn near everyone in your neighborhood or whatever park you frequent. The dog is also generally an ice breaker because those extraverted little bastards get excited over the smallest act of attention. I prefer cats. Let the traditional gender war rage while the war on gender continues. I accept that one or two generations are going to get screwed if things are to get fixed 👍
A person would only buy a dog if they're a dog lover! I am surprised anyone could be dubious about this potentially very lovely and healthy act when today complete strangers meet up for sex.
Let's turn this comment section into a dating platform 😂
How about we don’t.
If she can make me laugh, major green flag!
*you mean adopt a dog NOT buy and he/she NOT it, let’s not repeat history (and the present) by treating others as an object to buy/sell & own. NOBODY is that (:* you’d think a black woman would get it… and doggo mom is fine, calling yourself their owner and calling them an it, not fine. ALSO, all the dogs in strollers is because the dog can’t walk (sick/injured/disabled/old)…
Notice the term....."Long term". What does that even mean? How long is that? Smacks of the expectation of eventual and inevitable relationship failure.
Or a tendency to view them as disposable.
Serious relationship is the term I use.
As a man, I've always felt I wanted a woman who "gets the jokes." Mine, that is (I'm less concerned with how she feels about OTHER peoples' funny). It's just something I've always looked for in women. What women themselves are looking for I'll be damned if I know and I'm married (and divorced) three times.
"Rent a billboard and post your picture and number on it"
Me: what the hell were they doing in the 50s?
Madmen and godfather could shed some light
I was reading Watchmen novel 1984(I think) . I had fictional story from 1938. So it told a lot about olden times
It was obviously a humorous suggestion. Jesus.
@@pltolle1 his comment is somewhat humor too. Humor of 2024s internet
I hear my nieces talk about dating (37 yrs old) and I’m not sure if to laugh or cry at their stories. My daughter tellls me she would be happy to find a man with teeth and a job. Do we need to lower our standards so in order to find a man?
Yes, but you don't need to seek men
Lets be real. There are millions of perfectly fine single average men out there. Problem is these men are tired of being the clean up guy for 35yo+ women that did not even notice them in their prime years (aka their 20s).
It makes me happy i got married at 19 and have 3 kids at 26 also its harder to have a younger child at 26 than it was when i was 19 when i had my first.
Casual sex is just a band-aid but it is being advertised as the ALL-IN-ONE SOLUTION.
Casual dating and sex is the problem. People need to date when they are looking for a true relationship and not some sort of "situationship".
by design, from small hats.
Tbh having casual sex to try to cure loneliness is more like drinking salt water when you’re thirsty…
They miss the benefits to BOTH parties for a truly intimate relationship…. Casual sex is hollow and meaningless. As humans we need REAL connection
Men are wired to have casual S3X, women simply are NOT, fact.
Dating sucks now. I’m 33 and gay, my brother’s 38 and straight. Both of us are fairly old fashioned when it comes to dating, and both of us are single and have been for several years. For him, he gets ghosted as soon as he asks girls out, and it seems most gay men in my area are either extremely promiscuous or in “open relationships” or something. It’s kinda crummy all across the board right now.
I’m in the same boat…all the gay guys in my area seem to be in open relationships or wants an open relationship. It’s almost impossible to meet someone who just wants a monogamous relationship
Rule #1 don’t be gay, Rule #2 don’t be a nerd.
@@spencerrichmond5845are you slow?
Oof same. Except I’m a girl…. Being conservative and gay is difficult, a lot of these people are extremely promiscuous which makes me turned off immediately!
Hard to be old-fashioned and take things slowly, these days. I don't think people really date now, as such.
The west plays games. My husband and I talked about marriage from the first messages we exchanged. He told me he was seeking a wife and wanted to get to know me better. No playing games, no nonsense. Just straight to the point and I loved it!
Good job being the straightforward woman men look for. It's hard to look for them
That’s the way to do it 👏🏼
❤
Where did you meet your spouse?
@@hkaayaakuuthere are plenty of us out there, and we are equally annoyed with men who play games with us lol. All we serious people have to do is find each other!
@@uikmnhj4me that's positive to hear( the annoyed up part, not the games part). Here's hoping for us straightforward people.
Some of those things from the 50's article were meant to be funny, like "stow away on a ship" or 'rent a billboard", or "make toupees"...it was tongue-in-cheek.
Yeah there's no way those were serious due to how inconvenient they would be among other issues
Yeah absolutely. People in the 50's had some humor too :D
I keep busy, stay in shape, and have a bunch of hobbies. But when it comes to dating, yeah I have no prospects lol.
Same here. Safer though, given all the craziness out there these days - it's completely mental. To add insult to injury, the Government have a habit of overstepping the mark and introducing overly restrictive legislation. Michael Goves' very recent intervention on what constitutes hate or racism, being a case in point. As someone with a very cynical attitude towards anything Government supposedly do 'for our benefit' ( more like for their benefit !), it would seem that a certain situation was deliberately 'created' in order to give Government an excuse to introduce a 'solution'.
If one thinks about said 'solution', it brings to mind what Benjamin Franklin once said, 'those who would give up their freedoms for security, deserve neither one'.
I feel we're currently at that point - on the slippery slope, where our basic freedoms are being eroded, little by little, until one day, we wake up in a Police State. Oh, hang on.....
I feel similar. What’s your perception on why?
@@jamesbarbour8400the “intolerance” part of that legislation terrifies me. So subjective and so open to misuse. At least the Labour peer Shami Chakrabati is looking to challenge it in the courts.
@@jamesbarbour8400well with biden taken away title 9 not looking so good. Boys n girls lose so many right or let me say biological males n females. All about protecting trans now!
From what it looks like to me (as a luckily and happily married man) the rules for approaching women outside of a dating app is this:
1) Be attractive
2) Don't be unattractive
And in dating apps...yeah I can't even imagine how guys now are using dating apps, it seems like hell
It's much worse. The rule is:
1) Be Attractive TO HER
2) Don't Be Unattractive TO ANYONE.
Not only is it subjective, it's also entirely on a case by case basis, and if anyone even perceives you as being creepy, even if she likes you, you could still be in trouble.
I mean didn't u just describe how men treat women. when's the last time u gave an ugly woman a chance? do u even acknowledge their existence?
DUH - are you approaching women you DON'T find attractive? If you cold approach, both parties have very little except looks to go off of?
@@paige5838literally. Like no duh you have to be attractive to attract a partner…what even is that point?
@@paige5838 No one ever calls HR if an unattractive WOMAN shoots her shot. Also, if a woman is acting shy or nervous, it's cute. If she's nice and showing lots of attention, that's always a good thing. If a man acts shy or nervous or even attentive, it's weak at best and creepy at worst. Even most hot guys can't survive being nice guys. Most modern women want bad boys exclusively. So the only option is an "I am the best and you can't refuse" attitude, which is hot if she likes you but a crime if she doesn't. The problem isn't that a nonzero number of women say no. The problem is that the only approach that gets dinner dates also gets court dates. The only variable that reliably determines which you'll get is hotness. Hence, step 1 is be attractive.
the baking idea is pretty solid, I think. Guys still love food lol
I remember everyone that has ever given me home made food! Plus it has a lot of very attractive feminine sentiment built right in, it’s impressive, has keeper wholesome vibes instead of slooty vibes (which gets a way different type of interest) and locks in an automatically greatful guy for at least a moment of friendly conversation automatically with no real “approach or rejection fear” because it’s really indirect.
If I was a woman I would be totally doing this one, cause I know just how well it would actually work lol.
You never wrong. At least men eat without being self conscious for the most part. So yeah men will probably eat more than women lol 😆
Taylor's point at the beginning of the stream about baggage is so valid. Like i feel terrible sometimes about all the baggage i have from previous relationships and how that affects my life now.
I would counter that the baggage one carries are regrets and resentments that have not been dealt with. I was promiscuous in my 20’s but I was working on my issues and very upfront about how I wanted nothing but a physical relationship. Once I was ok with how my side of the street was, then I quit sleeping around and began seriously dating. I have no regrets or shame. To each their own, but before sleeping around, ask why you are doing it.
I'd say that pretty much everyone is in the same boat, both male and female, where that is concerned.
@@dannygavin9458I think you are kind of just adding to my point 😅 I do have regrets and resentments that I am currently dealing with. That is literally what baggage is imo. But if I had made more of an effort to respect myself and not give away my love and body to men that i didnt know well enough, I think I would be happier and I literally wouldnt have baggage XD Like im happy with how things have played out for me so far, I certainly learned from my experiences. But do I really need these traumas I have now accrued in my life? Not really. I could have made more of an effort to protect myself. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason. But I hope other women dont make the same mistakes as me. 😊
@@outlandishmuchliterally me. I totally get where you're coming from
Gotta ditch your baggage. Stuck in your own past. Major red flag.
A woman did approach me and showed interest in me, so i returned the interest. But ive been told, i showed TOO MUCH interest, so now she just want me as a friend. It is the stupidest shit i have ever experienced. She is almost 10 years younger than me. I dont Tinder, and i dont seek women, im a single dad and im nice to those who want to be with me. This lady who apporached me has been brainwashed by shitty dating advice.
Edit: Im not (very) hurt by this turnaround, i was just not aware that this was a thing, so i shared the story. I refuse to not show interest in a woman that i find interesting, as if this is some dating game, so i guess im screwed.
the only way around it is by issuing the either or. I don't want to be your friend I want to enter into a romantic relationship with you. If not, then I'm not interested
Or, she is simply an idiot.
Probably voted for Joe Biden, just let it go bro.
Go to the Philippines
I don’t think you realize just how much chaos and misery you missed out on, when actually being with someone like that, that gave you a little preview.
Have to be pretty careful with personality, It’s not like that gets better, it just accelerates into other insanities and disasters.
If she’s getting bad dating advice then she’s not the one you want in your life.
I bought a dog in 2021. It has definitely introduced people to me. But no bf😊
Not yet at least. If guys are ever interested, make neutral yet mildly friendly small talk, most guys, or even people in general actually like that.
For the record, she was my concussion therapy dog (puppy), I was not interested in being social at the time
@@jenniferatkinson5519 oh, apologies for misunderstanding. Bet the dog was adorable! I know mine helps when I’m feeling down!
I’m 28 and met my husband at 19. So glad I didn’t listen to the mainstream , trusted my gut and settled down. We’ve had such a wonderful time together, done many fun things, grew together, supported each other, and I can’t imagine things any other way. Weird how at the time the mainstream society pushes the idea that it’s bad and doomed if you marry young and that you’re missing out if you don’t sleep around casually. We’ve achieved a lot together, and in the next few years plan on buying a house and starting a family. More young people need to have the mindset of looking for a spouse in their early 20s, instead of hoping one will magically come along around 30 something. Almost all of our friends are still single, I haven’t been to a single wedding as an adult except my own.
so you just havent been divorced yet, you are 28. it's coming. Telling people to get married younger isnt going to help the problem, when mature people cant even handle marriage. Come back to us a few years after you have kids and let us know how much your getting for child support while the kids live with him.
@@lawrencecrocker4870 Why are you pessimistic? Could the problem be not that people are marrying young, but actually the problem may be the personalities involved?
@@thegenzcompass2526 the stats say shes more likely to end up divorced than widowed. im realistic not pessimistic.
@@lawrencecrocker4870 No, you're being pessimistic.
@@rogaken if theres a 66% chance that the glass is empty and and a 33% chance the glass is full, it would be realistic to guess the glass is empty not pessimistic. You fail to understand how statistics work directly with expectatikns
I'm a lesbian and dating is a STRUGGLE. I've tried apps with little luck. By the pictures and bios alone you can easily tell why the majority are single. Plus everyone and their mom is poly 🙃 Now I'm willing to essentially put myself into enemy territory by seeking out lgbt events, because I do like to believe that there are rational people out there. So here's to hoping I can avoid being branded an -ist -phobe for having a shred of sense and independent thinking
I've read comments from other non-hetero people say that they keep running into others who want polyamory. Wtf is going on?! 😬
me too, I’m in the same position as you and it sucks
Being gay and conservative must be rough. There are a lot of insufferable lefties in the lgbt ranks. It's hard enough being a guy who likes girls with short or colored hair.
When it comes to lesbos. The odds were never in yals favor.
It sucks but at least yal get to play with boobies whenever yal want lol.
@@VDOTU5cause people want all the cake’s pieces 😩 like, it’s so easy today to just skip onto the next person when someone does a small little thing we dislike. It’s so ridiculous. Patience, respect and openness is so essential in relationships 🥺 when people up and leave, you know what they’re lacking
Short kings have been catching strays😂😂😂FOR CENTURIES
One thing I've realized recently is that humans haven't changed a lot over the years. 3000 years ago humans were still drawing dicks on thing
Yup 💯
Youch. No lie
Systemic oppression
I mean, any advice that requires you getting dressed and out of your house is good advice, imo.
I thought I was going to get out of the house to go pay a couple of bills but I found that the tires on my care are encased in ice and the car will not move so I came back inside and paid the bills on the phone instead.
Well preferably put on some clothes before you leave the house. 😂
With clothing that doesn’t look like you slept in it or could wear it to the gym (especially if you never go to the gym), preferably
... and go WHERE?!
@@ManFromThePitsjust start circling a pretty girl. She'll understand you want to date and marry
I think we all should stay away from Tiktok... This is so sad.
yup, its entirely this one app. you can only find the worst and most horrible aspects of humanity on tiktok, but all other internet sites and apps are 100% ok. SMRT
I mean, tiktok is fun for stuff we also liked as kids like lipsyncing and dancing and innocent stuff like that, but yah don’t take the stuff said on there seriously, most if not 99% is unhinged or just bs lol
Off topic, but I've been meaning to say, LOVE Taylor's beard! It really suits him!
He's entering his hot daddy era!
Lol. I think taylor could get some finishing done on his beard
Yeah, and Shoe looked like Asami from Korra during her advertisement for her sponsor. I was laughing when I realised it
I was widowed in my early 30s before the chance to have children arose yet, I've been trying to find a new partner ever since but in this age's dating game it seems IMPOSSIBLE! I'll be 38 soon and the thought I'll become one of the single, childless women in the stats keeps me up at night.
If you really want a baby, don't wait for the right man, just have your baby. I had one at 34 and was unable to have another despite trying very hard.
Good luck to you x
It’s okay. Just know that what you are is OKAY.
@@nicoleizard2965 lieing to her doesnt help. this is the problem, not all women are princesses with perfect personalities who dont need to work on themselves. Im sorry her husband died, but its been 8 years, perhaps it's time she move on and work on herself.
@@MrsEmmKayyeah girl! More single mothers is what we need! Crime stats dont say otherwise! Girl power!
I'm really sorry to hear this, thank you for sharing! I'm a 26 year old single woman, I have no wise words, other than I understand your worries and fear. I hope you get the family you deserve one day! ❤️
From someone across the world from where a majority of you I suspect are, dating still sucks.
I'm from the Philippines, 35 years old, female. Most men here my age range are either already married with kids or just looking around to hook up. The culture here is still "if you're not married by (insert age here) what the heck are you doing with your life?"
4 months ago I was dating an American long-distance, but broke up because of this distance. We still love and care about each other and talk every day but the reality was there was no way we could be together. Deep down I still love him but it's probably best I move on somehow. I'm not so good alone and I'm not giving up on finding love, but some days watching how dating is these days and the reality of it all I'm not expecting too much anymore
Why did you break up? Why wouldn’t you be able to be together? You could’ve immigrated to the US. I did with my husband. I was in the Netherlands, and we did a fiancée visa at the time. I would’ve never met someone like him in a million years. Some distance wasn’t going to stop us. And yes most of our communication was online, FaceTiming, texting. He was able to visit 2/3 times. It’s been 9 years married now with a 5th child on the way.
@@alqoshgirl my visa has been denied three times due to insufficient funds; covid and the reality of todays economy took a toll on me financially. He's in the Army, he can technically take two weeks off to see me but it's hard to find the time due to his responsibilities. We still videochat, text and send silly memes pretty much every day and honestly it's not like either of our feelings died. We still want to be together, but it's the reality that neither one of us can get to each other any time soon and we don't want to hold each other back from finding someone. Maybe one day it will happen, but what with his job, his deployment, my own responsibilities and financial issues, tbh I'm not holding my breath...
Congrats on your fifth child. Wishing you and your family all the love
Maybe if he’s up for it, why not come to the US? I mean shit if he loves you why not? Do you have family to come back to if anything went wrong?
Yeah that date example you gave (the hike) is NOT reasonable flexibility. Plus as you said - manipulative given it was a planned test.
It is one thing if you didn’t check ahead and the restaurant you wanted to take her to is closed, so you switch and go to a different venue, or say hey given this happened let’s pick up some things and have a picnic, and lay down a blanket. And then when that kind of thing happens organically, be able to observe whether she is collected about it or whether she loses her mind.
It’s another thing entirely to completely change the plan and the expectations you had set for no real reason, and expect someone to just go along with it even if it will be entirely uncomfortable and unreasonable given what you had previously had them plan for.
That type of thing would actually tell me the guy is unstable and erratic if he is changing his mind like that, which is not an attractive or masculine quality.
My ex kept track of how long I hadn't said "I love you" to him. We cooked together, watched shows together, gamed together. It was pretty obvious that we loved each other. But noooo, he had to play games and test how long I went without saying it and then use that in a fight against me. 😑
@@azuropixie5703 So toxic. I’m sorry you dealt with that.
@@azuropixie5703Nah he did nothing wrong
I think flirting is dead. Why am I being quizzed about my sex life 5 minutes within matching with a guy on an app? Bro I don't know you. Now I don't want to, either.
I don't know a single mate that's successful with women that uses dating apps, in fact it's the opposite. Seems like most guys i know that used it for more than 3 months are on there because they don't have much luck approaching women in person
Flirting and the art of conversation with wit and banter is what is lacking, these are not to be found on dating apps. Every woman I've known and or been involved with is always been on the basis of mutual respect through genuine conversation. If two people are interested in each other then it happens by getting to know each other.
@@kevincurr4641 I have a feeling a lot of men mistake the getting-to-know process for the friendzone. In reality, the fast track approach to sex (which remains sex only) is not how women work. Dating apps have slowly edged out the usual ways of approaching someone in favour of a mechanic that looks a lot like shopping, by actually demonising the former. The hilarious thing is, if some random person approached you and immediately started dropping innuendos, you'd think they were a huge creep, with legitimate reason. On apps you can't even gauge their demeanour, or vibe, or anything at all that's not carefully curated. All but invites duplicity. So how are they the respectful approach in any way?
@@black-alisswhile I agree with a lot of what you said but the problem these days, is that us guys have to emotionally invest in someone that won't give us a guarantee, A guarantee that we won't be friendzoned and that has happened way to often.
Now I'm only willing to invest into a relationship if I'm getting rumpy pumpy from the get go. That way I won't feel like I'm being used and I feel most men agree with me
@@berrymckockiner5883 The female side of this is: if we're going to get invested in whatever you're giving, we'd like some sort of guarantee that you're not working over 52 other girls concurrently. There's no guarantee for that either.
"Create a low-stakes conversation" THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE. Loved this vid guys :) keep it up! Thanks! ❤
I would strongly advice against this, because we (the west) have tried this and the result was people who are still in the dating phase after 5+ years or people checking out on the superficiality.
Women need to get it together and start taking things seriously. The west has become gynocentric and as a result the western cultures are vapid and superficial.
The number of 30+ y.o. women I've met who gasp on the first date at being asked how many children they want or don't know what their core values are, is astonishing.
If we ever want to leave "HR world" and enter a more meaningful existence, we have to become willing to talk about more meaningful stuff.
@@DarknessProphet it's like you're trying to disagree just for the sake of it. Dating is one thing, approaching a stranger for the first time is another thing.
@@DarknessProphet Yeah dude I actually agree! Although - 'meaningful' can sometimes overwhelm people on first meeting. I'm sure we need to find the balance between low-stakes and meaningful :0 x
@@renenetatm8222 It's more a case of people want to keep things low-stakes forever.
To quote Amala: "What really comes off as creepy...is men who are coming to you and talking to you with the direct intent of moving the whole conversation in a sort of a romantic or sexual direction almost immediately."
Asking someone out shows a direct intent towards either the romantic or sexual. Outside of women, I've never head anyone say they date without the intent of getting involved with that other person. As a result, this comes down to not asking women out and you're back at the start. Amala does this a lot in this video (like saying you should start exploring life at 25 and you can settle down later, even though that is part of the reason why women are increasingly more lonely).
@@ChunsBuns That I agree with, balance is always important!
I really loved how Shoe mentioned how nowadays the only acceptable way to find someone is through swiping.
I meet so many women that act like there couldn't be any other way to date people. It's like they want to be in control in every aspect of their lives, including controlling when and how other people want to date them. So they would be dumbfounded if a guy from the pilates classes, gym, dance classes, etc would hit on them. They don't even look at hobbies like a way to connect with people so that they'd find someone interested. It's either dating apps or clubs.
In the beginning dating apps were there to facilitate dating, but know it is viewed as the norm, and if you dare to hit on a woman from your dance classes, you're a creep.
Overall point: most women are a puddle compared to the ocean that is a good man
@@BatmanBeyondBelief Too bad there are so few good men.
@@DonnaBrooks Imagine generalising all men purely based on the few guys that you've dated. Make it make sense.
Years and years of social media inflating their egos make the average woman (which is 165lbs) think she deserves Idris Elba and won’t settle for anything less. I care as much about this as the average Tik Tok feminist does about male issues.
I'm a woman and I agree with you.
Ok I gotta stop you there, you’re right but 165??? Just say overweight. Most women are skinny at 140 in america (unless you’re super short) I was nearing the starting stages of aneroxia at 130 and I’m only 5 8
I feel the need to mention this because I hear grown ass men claiming women who are my height should be 110 and it’s just absolutely bonkers 😂
Goes both ways. A lot of these average men think they deserve Instagram models and won't date anything else. Its annoying for both genders
I‘m 34. never sleeped around and am single. My last relationship was 10 years ago. Honestly I have no idea where to find normal person to be with. All want ONS….😢
That's what big cities without families are: they are all strangers and susceptible to scammers😂
Da, 33, same boat. At this point, I'm about to sign up for a book club just to talk (not date) with older women. At least they can hold conversations.
Its awful im on 18 years single.
Hope love finds you Katerina 👍
To the laughing thing…
It’s a thing. One of my favorite things to do is laugh - inside jokes with friends, standup comedy, etc. Laughter is a dopamine hit! My husband is hilarious, and every guy I’ve ever been attracted to was funny, and making me laugh enhanced the attraction, not the other way around. But I’m also prone to cracking a lot of jokes, as well.
30:30 girl yes, I just discovered that recently. Home Depot & and Lowes is where you find "do it yourself," "get the job done," hard-working, self-promoting, self-employed, focused, driven, traditional men.
I did not know this.😂 Downfall....or rather an upfall is that the good ones are so focused that they kind of have the shutters on for a minute.
It’s not even the rejection that we fear it’s the fact that you’d get ridiculed and made fun of, if not publicly, it’s immortalised on the internet. Now that’s something.
We can all take rejection it’s just all the extra shit that comes with it now that sucks.
Amala hit it on the head when she said 'most people are normal', and the minority have put the fear into everyone when it comes to approaching others.
Ladies- better to be alone and lonely than married and lonely.
Or married and being abused.
@@Madmarshawell said. To both of these comments
Life is whatever "you make it." Relationships are entirely reciprocal. If you end up married and lonely that's on you as much as your spouse.
Everyone's agency so do something with it. May as well had spouted out the old adage "Alone in a crowd".
@@charitym1277crap! A loving relationship is best of all it women are never satisfied!
Who said that being married is being lonely? It's been seven years that I'm married and happy. You don't feel lonely when you are married to the right person. Wish you to find yours.
Amala you are amazing. It's not the rejection I'm scared of. I can get rejected all day and I have been. The problem is I am scared to death of having my name dragged through the mud because some girl I'm talking to takes something the wrong way. Or if I happen to come off not 100% harmless that I might be put on blast for no reason.
I think this is quite an important discussion. I just want to add. Not all incels are bad. As a incel myself i want to say it is easy to end up in echo chambers that reinforces hate on women to justify not working on oneself. But there are lot of us who can see how ridiculous and harmful such hateful beliefs are. I am an incel. I know i have nothing to offer or bring to the table in a relationship. But i dont project that onto women. It would be disrespectful to women who are our family and close friends. We know they are awesome. We don't wish our loneliness on anybody. We know how much of a pain it is. Please don't hate on all of us incels. Not all incels are vile dumbasses. May be we need a different name for such people.
so,, you could say that everyone is lonely, women just hide it better with a bunch of yappin. Its just a theory, but I think it fits.
My husband approached me in a way. Met organically through mutual friends, he got my number from one of them and he texted me and asked me out. And honestly, I respected him so much for that. So guys, no. Not all women will find you creepy if you approach them. Literally all you have to do is keep it simple. Tell her that you enjoyed talking to her (if you've already had a conversation) and/or you thought she was really pretty and you were wondering if you could take her out. If you're afraid of the rejection, it's really not the end of the world. Just move on.
It’s not rejection it’s the possibility of the crazed reaction being called a creep and having your interaction posted online. God forbid you hold the door open for a woman these days
I wish women had a better way of indicating they're not attracted to you than thinly veiled (if you're lucky) disgust. Being rejected is a bummer but it's not a big deal. The part that killed my soul is the /way/ women often rejected me (back when I was trying to date). It's this vibe they give off that you're doing something very bad and that you should be ashamed of even asking. Like a "how dare you?" sort of energy. Like fuck me for being vulnerable I guess. I suppose what I'm asking for is for women to say "no, but good luck out there" instead of "no way, weirdo. Stop bothering people"
God I can't imagine the dating world out there. Im lucky I met my husband 6 years ago through a UA-cam comment from a pro life video. It saved us a lot of headaches lol.
I met my husband at work. I was constantly berated and he was encouraged to break off the relationship. Once we moved, we became very happy, had a kid, and have been married for nearly 5 years now with no more issues
Listening to the prophets of "hook up culture" is one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I had no idea how to connect to people so I went ahead and put out when I got attention. This went on for 2 years and after sleeping with people who did care about me as a person, much less if I was even enjoying myself, I came out the other side with sexual trauma that still affects me today. I am now married with a baby but I wish my husband was the only person I'd ever been with...
There's a few pet owner dating apps, this could make starting conversations fun because your dog or cat is your " wing man/women" 😁.
I’m a married woman in my 20s. I was sold the feminist narrative hard in college, and got to the point where after four years of being surrounded in it, I believed it. But now that I’ve been in a loving and committed marriage for almost 5 years, I see what this mindset is doing to my family members and it makes me so sad.
My question to this movement is: what is empowering about this? Think back on each of the guys you’ve slept with (don’t tell me the number, I don’t need to know) and ask yourself if each and every one of them have treated you with respect. Then ask yourself why you feel the need to the maladaptive normalize behaviors of men (that you don’t even like) with women. If you don’t like fuckboys, why are you trying to get women to act like fuckboys?