Born & raised in Toronto...I realized as an adult, that I didn't, have anyone outside of my Mom, that I could ask for much help from. Even after years of having ok longer-term friends, most of them were, superficial friends that stopped having time for me or outgrew me. People are so, caught up in their own lives and their cell phones too, I dont feel like people care, when I talk to them, as they're often multitasking, with a phone. Even the only person, I have gotten close to, in a relationship is on his phone around me. It feels like everyone is like this, will I ever be more important than somebody's phone ?
I hear you. It can be tough when it feels like people are more focused on their phones than on you. Sometimes, opening up can lead to deeper connections. Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way.
No need to be nervous. You're a great, empathetic and motivational speaker, and you have the ability to connect with people on an emotional level with your open and honest sharing of your own personal perspective and experience. I'd welcome more videos designed to help people through these challenging times. 👍
Great video Frank! It really hit home as I was soul-crushingly lonely when I was in the GTA. Your honesty is appreciated. Please come back to Calgary! I've been here for 1.5 years now and life has changed in every area for the better. Come on and give it another try, pandemic is gone. We'll go for a healthy hike in the beautiful mountains and grab some tasty food downtown as I've scoped out tons of restaurants. Calgary chapter 2....just sayin'....
Thanks Laura - Glad the video resonated with you! Tbh, Calgary does sound pretty intriguing, especially with the positive changes you've experienced in the last 1.5 years (post pandemic). Appreciate the offer as well!
The older I get, the more I value solitude. I have very few friends nowadays, but this is how I like it. I no longer have the energy to deal with so many people.
I can't complain about people in Toronto. They've generally been nice to me. However, I've never felt as lonely in a city as I do in Toronto. I previously lived in Boston, the mean capital in the U.S., for ten years, and I had such a blast. I think it has to do with introversion and extroversion. Canadians are self-contained and discreet, while Americans are expressive and open.
Great, compassionate video, Frank. Thanks for taking on a universal topic that affects so many young and senior adults living on their own. Glad you recommended therapy. I agree that it can help alleviate loneliness. It's good to know that you've been able to make valuable friendships through your own efforts to meet people. I hope it will inspire others to take a risk and do the same. 👍
LOOL, lonely for who? There are tons of couples and friends enjoying events, you can talk to anybody at a bar, club, community services, schools, churches, and at their jobs so if any elderly person feels lonely they can be encouraged to get that advice! It's cheaper to buy house instead of renting. There are interesting ways to do it.@@FrankHuynh
I had the same thing, feeling lonely when I moved to Calgary a month before the pandemic but thing are getting better now that I,m meeting peopkle now and that everything is open now and meeting people at church.
In my early age, I found out that no matter if you are with your family, with your community, in a stadium surrounded by thousands of people, we always will be alone. Fifty years later I still acknowledge this fact. It is important to notice that there is a big difference being alone than feeling alone. I have been alone and not a problem with that. The problem is when I feel alone. That is sick. The crude fact in life, weather in Toronto or any other city, is that Nobody gives a damn about your existence. Probably the only one who does is your mother. We are all surrounded by predators, utilitarians and narcissist who just want your attention. If you are in an accident, the government will try to save you because you still can pay taxes, if not then good luck. See the elder population in Canada? They no longer pay taxes so, by the instrument of Covi they were swiped by the government. In that way it kept unclaimed pensions.
This issue kinda reminds me of when someone says they are "bored" if you are always bored then you are probably a boring person... I think the key is to find your purpose in life, eventually the right people will naturally surround you. You might feel lonely at times but there is nothing with that because in the real world no one cares about your life or goals or interests deep down and other than your own bloodline and why would you in the first palce. Once you have found your purpose whether is career or outside of work through personal interests or hobbies these negativity and self pity will go away. Keep in mind alot of people around you might not be deep down have your best interest at heart so you will learn that through your own experiences. Like kevin o'leary once said 3 things in life can change(gain or lost) over night 1.Money 2.women 3.friends. The sooner you accept these the better off you are. I find that through my experience, staying busy(work, excersise), always learning, get out of comfort zone at times keeps your life in balance.
@@barthalomeowthegreat8470 I think being creative has it's limits when you live in Toronto. There aren't a lot of hobby shops compared to Asian countries. If you're a creative person, I found Japan was a paradise because of all the stores that sell crafting supplies. It's a tiny island but they also have tons of mountain biking trails. It's also cheaper to buy supplies than Toronto. Toronto also suffers from bad public transportation compared to most advanced cities and that hugely contributes to boredom because you can't get to where you want to be quickly. This has led to many people not feeling like it's worth leaving their own homes because they don't want to spend most of their day commuting to someplace fun instead of having fun. While I was in Japan I didn't think twice about setting foot outside but in Toronto with all this car dependency and bad transit, I have also felt the decreased sense of fun. I wouldn't call it boredom but I've had to simply rely on finding ways to have fun at home. So while it isn't boring, it is definitely more lonely than Japan where I could go anywhere anytime.
@@olive4naito the way this place is designed really suck. I first noticed it at york university, where majority of ppl would commute. And being a commuter university, ppl would often be in a rush to get to their bus. Really ruined the feel of what a college life should feel like
No need to be nervous. I’m from Winnipeg and I mostly do feel alone 99% of the time. 1% is just work friends but no deep or meaningful friendships. Turning a year older next month. It does get lonely as I got older.
Thanks! Sorry to hear about your experience. If you're open to the idea - I'm confident if you're willing to work on yourself, while putting yourself more out there -- friendships will tend to naturally form. Happy early birthday and hello to another Winnipeg-er.
@@FrankHuynh thanks man. Currently just building up on myself. Full disclosure I’m filipino born and raised. I moved here by myself hoping for a better life and opportunities in March 2020 got to study just a year, got a job, and got my PR in May 2023. Winnipeg’s given me a smooth process but you know when life started to plateau, I’m starting to feel that loneliness. On the other hand, I’ve been keeping myself busy like improving my health and body, working out to avoid being “idle” especially on winter months. Can’t wait for Spring and summer. Hope you’re doing well out there, yeah? Cheers
Any people I have let into my life seem to be only interested in what I can give them. I do a lot of favours and help them as much as I can. The truth is, if I ever need help or a favour, I am 100% positive that no one will be there for me. So I have decided that I will stop trying to make friends and enjoy a peaceful life all alone.
Even my own family wouldnt help me when i was in need. And friends? I would always help them. And go out of my way. Without being even asked. But it was rarely reciprocated.
I've lived in Europe Asia and grew up in Toronto. Hands down Toronto is the loneliest city. I find other countries have lots of small talk in stores lineups with strangers. People here are reserved snd many have said unfriendly Yhrow in the cold westher and high rise condos its inbearable.
A lot of people who are surrounded by friends and family and still feel lonely are people who manipulated all of those friends and family members to be in their lives. They developed a bunch of superficial relationships without actually allowing people to get to know themselves because they didn’t even want to get to know themselves. There are a lot of people like that, and they need to be acknowledged. Probably a lot of people in echo chambers right now. The law attraction suggests that people are solely responsible for their negative experiences, which can overlook factors beyond their control but it can be effective with hobbies. So this idea that one attracts what they are worth, or what they emit into the world can have consequences like people who have experienced degradation or have been made to feel worthless may find it challenging to emit positivity, leading to our harmful cycle, where they might believe they DESERVE their miss fortune. We are all in one big cycle and I’m wondering who is going to break it
The only people who don't think toronto is lonely are mostly immigrant families with social circle from their home countries or families with kids who become friends. Or those they grow up with them if they were born in that city. I lived in many cities across in canada and despite begging people to hangout outside school, work, etc. But most people are polite but don't even want to share personal cell number for the occasional text. After a while i just gave up. My solution will be to sponsor my wife's family and get them to move to canada and we can become the social circle.
@idreesk7826 yeah totally agree but i feel even in a big circle you need people you can genuinely connect with. My personal story is that when i was small until i entered university my parents kept moving all over. We moved within gta, calgary, edmonton, pakistan, etc. So much moving that i barely hung out with anyone regularly within walking distance for more than year max. This made maintaining relationships specially pre smart phone era near impossible. Also the big circle is more for activites or hangouts at parties. The real connection part is still a challenge and finding someone who genuinely likes you enough to be real friend.
After going there for years, the problem IS the social circles or silos. Nobody wants to talk to anybody different if the don't HAVE to. Remove the need to speak or read English and it gets worse. In some areas, people beleive that that laws are what they say they are because of how many people in the immediate area share the same ideals. And they believe that the other different people are out to steal from them, so lock up the doors and don't talk to anybody. I find the USA for all of it's faults seems to have more polite people, even in the redneck states and I'm a visible minority that they are supposed to not want to interact with.
Ewwwww people...😜 Honestly I love being alone, never lonely ❤ You really have to chose wisely as to who you let into your life. There seems to be more takers.... Born n Raised Torontonian ❤
You should keep one cute Dog and one Cat they will make your life less lonely and they also enjoy company human biengs demand are too high you can't make humans happy this is my Advise
@@FrankHuynh so true back in the days when we lived in small villages life so simple needs were so little our expectations and demands were also very low but now days if you need company you need to provide lot of stuff but people are still not happy and then social media plus car bills they all.make us lonely but pets animals they are more pure spend time in nature sun or may be if you get friendship with international student they might give good company ride a bicyle city life not good go to village side city life is not natural
Is bad here! I live here all my life! As the years go by, it gets worse year by year. I just think that all the real Canadians are gone, and with all the new Canadians from other countries, they don't trust anyone here in Toronto. That's why!
Move to NB, they will know the name of your mom's dog and your whole sexual life. You will try to manage that when you are to the gas bar and the dude know the owner of the car you have borrowed. Don't move too much, people observe you although you think to be alone, you are never in this province.
Born & raised in Toronto...I realized as an adult, that I didn't, have anyone outside of my Mom, that I could ask for much help from.
Even after years of having ok longer-term friends, most of them were, superficial friends that stopped having time for me or outgrew me.
People are so, caught up in their own lives and their cell phones too, I dont feel like people care, when I talk to them, as they're often multitasking, with a phone.
Even the only person, I have gotten close to, in a relationship is on his phone around me. It feels like everyone is like this, will I ever be more important than somebody's phone ?
I hear you. It can be tough when it feels like people are more focused on their phones than on you. Sometimes, opening up can lead to deeper connections. Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way.
Great video, Frank. Feels like a good message for those out there that are feeling lonely. I think we all feel that way sometimes.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the video.
Sort of nervous posting this one... hope u guys enjoy ✌
No need to be nervous. You're a great, empathetic and motivational speaker, and you have the ability to connect with people on an emotional level with your open and honest sharing of your own personal perspective and experience. I'd welcome more videos designed to help people through these challenging times. 👍
@@tns-roxAppreciate the kind words - will consider creating more vids like this in the future
Dude its true
Great video Frank! It really hit home as I was soul-crushingly lonely when I was in the GTA. Your honesty is appreciated. Please come back to Calgary! I've been here for 1.5 years now and life has changed in every area for the better. Come on and give it another try, pandemic is gone. We'll go for a healthy hike in the beautiful mountains and grab some tasty food downtown as I've scoped out tons of restaurants. Calgary chapter 2....just sayin'....
Thanks Laura - Glad the video resonated with you! Tbh, Calgary does sound pretty intriguing, especially with the positive changes you've experienced in the last 1.5 years (post pandemic). Appreciate the offer as well!
Great video! Being vulnerable when exposing yourself on the video is not easy; great job for being honest!
Thank you! Just getting more comfortable for who I am as a person and just showing I ain't perfect despite what I may portray on camera.
great video Frank I recently moved to Halifax and thanks for sharing your experience managing loneliness. :)
@@rayanthonycleofe5243 haha no worries, best of out there in Halifax
The older I get, the more I value solitude. I have very few friends nowadays, but this is how I like it. I no longer have the energy to deal with so many people.
Agreed and I feel that's how it naturally flows as you get older.
I can't complain about people in Toronto. They've generally been nice to me. However, I've never felt as lonely in a city as I do in Toronto. I previously lived in Boston, the mean capital in the U.S., for ten years, and I had such a blast. I think it has to do with introversion and extroversion. Canadians are self-contained and discreet, while Americans are expressive and open.
sorry to hear about your mix feelings about toronto - hope you're doing better
Hang on for the ride
That’s mainly why I’m moving to the US soon. I’m aware of the risks that comes with it but I’ll take the risk
AGREED. The strangers i connect with are always americans
AND IM A HUGE EXTROVERT, but feel so stifled from the stale introvertness of torontonians.
Great, compassionate video, Frank. Thanks for taking on a universal topic that affects so many young and senior adults living on their own. Glad you recommended therapy. I agree that it can help alleviate loneliness. It's good to know that you've been able to make valuable friendships through your own efforts to meet people. I hope it will inspire others to take a risk and do the same. 👍
Glad you resonated with the video! Therapy can make a positive difference in combating loneliness and in general. Thanks for the support.
LOOL, lonely for who? There are tons of couples and friends enjoying events, you can talk to anybody at a bar, club, community services, schools, churches, and at their jobs so if any elderly person feels lonely they can be encouraged to get that advice! It's cheaper to buy house instead of renting. There are interesting ways to do it.@@FrankHuynh
I had the same thing, feeling lonely when I moved to Calgary a month before the pandemic but thing are getting better now that I,m meeting peopkle now and that everything is open now and meeting people at church.
Nice - that's good to hear things are getting better and that you're meeting people at church, etc.
Thank you for all the good advice Frank ….
No worries, thanks for watching William!
In my early age, I found out that no matter if you are with your family, with your community, in a stadium surrounded by thousands of people, we always will be alone. Fifty years later I still acknowledge this fact. It is important to notice that there is a big difference being alone than feeling alone. I have been alone and not a problem with that. The problem is when I feel alone. That is sick. The crude fact in life, weather in Toronto or any other city, is that Nobody gives a damn about your existence. Probably the only one who does is your mother. We are all surrounded by predators, utilitarians and narcissist who just want your attention. If you are in an accident, the government will try to save you because you still can pay taxes, if not then good luck. See the elder population in Canada? They no longer pay taxes so, by the instrument of Covi they were swiped by the government. In that way it kept unclaimed pensions.
I volunteered at a kitchen. Met a great girl. Toronto is more stuck up.
This issue kinda reminds me of when someone says they are "bored" if you are always bored then you are probably a boring person... I think the key is to find your purpose in life, eventually the right people will naturally surround you. You might feel lonely at times but there is nothing with that because in the real world no one cares about your life or goals or interests deep down and other than your own bloodline and why would you in the first palce. Once you have found your purpose whether is career or outside of work through personal interests or hobbies these negativity and self pity will go away. Keep in mind alot of people around you might not be deep down have your best interest at heart so you will learn that through your own experiences. Like kevin o'leary once said 3 things in life can change(gain or lost) over night 1.Money 2.women 3.friends. The sooner you accept these the better off you are. I find that through my experience, staying busy(work, excersise), always learning, get out of comfort zone at times keeps your life in balance.
Tend to mostly agree - as you find a 'greater' thing to do in general, you tend to also care a lot less about things you normally would have.
Im not boring. Yet im bored. TORONTO SUCKS
@@barthalomeowthegreat8470 I think being creative has it's limits when you live in Toronto. There aren't a lot of hobby shops compared to Asian countries. If you're a creative person, I found Japan was a paradise because of all the stores that sell crafting supplies. It's a tiny island but they also have tons of mountain biking trails. It's also cheaper to buy supplies than Toronto. Toronto also suffers from bad public transportation compared to most advanced cities and that hugely contributes to boredom because you can't get to where you want to be quickly. This has led to many people not feeling like it's worth leaving their own homes because they don't want to spend most of their day commuting to someplace fun instead of having fun. While I was in Japan I didn't think twice about setting foot outside but in Toronto with all this car dependency and bad transit, I have also felt the decreased sense of fun. I wouldn't call it boredom but I've had to simply rely on finding ways to have fun at home. So while it isn't boring, it is definitely more lonely than Japan where I could go anywhere anytime.
@@olive4naito the way this place is designed really suck. I first noticed it at york university, where majority of ppl would commute. And being a commuter university, ppl would often be in a rush to get to their bus. Really ruined the feel of what a college life should feel like
No need to be nervous. I’m from Winnipeg and I mostly do feel alone 99% of the time. 1% is just work friends but no deep or meaningful friendships. Turning a year older next month. It does get lonely as I got older.
Thanks! Sorry to hear about your experience. If you're open to the idea - I'm confident if you're willing to work on yourself, while putting yourself more out there -- friendships will tend to naturally form. Happy early birthday and hello to another Winnipeg-er.
@@FrankHuynh thanks man. Currently just building up on myself. Full disclosure I’m filipino born and raised. I moved here by myself hoping for a better life and opportunities in March 2020 got to study just a year, got a job, and got my PR in May 2023. Winnipeg’s given me a smooth process but you know when life started to plateau, I’m starting to feel that loneliness.
On the other hand, I’ve been keeping myself busy like improving my health and body, working out to avoid being “idle” especially on winter months. Can’t wait for Spring and summer. Hope you’re doing well out there, yeah?
Cheers
Any people I have let into my life seem to be only interested in what I can give them. I do a lot of favours and help them as much as I can. The truth is, if I ever need help or a favour, I am 100% positive that no one will be there for me. So I have decided that I will stop trying to make friends and enjoy a peaceful life all alone.
Sorry to hear that happens
Even my own family wouldnt help me when i was in need.
And friends? I would always help them. And go out of my way. Without being even asked. But it was rarely reciprocated.
Western culture is designed to be lonely its based on meterialism and indivisialism in india you will never feel Alone
I've lived in Europe Asia and grew up in Toronto. Hands down Toronto is the loneliest city. I find other countries have lots of small talk in stores lineups with strangers. People here are reserved snd many have said unfriendly
Yhrow in the cold westher and high rise condos its inbearable.
Toronto can feel a bit reserved, especially with the cold weather. Small talk in other places does add a different vibe. Stay warm out there
Definitely other cultures are so different. Thanks for the video.
Did you go to JH bruns in winnipeg
A lot of people who are surrounded by friends and family and still feel lonely are people who manipulated all of those friends and family members to be in their lives. They developed a bunch of superficial relationships without actually allowing people to get to know themselves because they didn’t even want to get to know themselves. There are a lot of people like that, and they need to be acknowledged. Probably a lot of people in echo chambers right now.
The law attraction suggests that people are solely responsible for their negative experiences, which can overlook factors beyond their control but it can be effective with hobbies. So this idea that one attracts what they are worth, or what they emit into the world can have consequences like people who have experienced degradation or have been made to feel worthless may find it challenging to emit positivity, leading to our harmful cycle, where they might believe they DESERVE their miss fortune.
We are all in one big cycle and I’m wondering who is going to break it
Always best to be honest with others from the start. Thanks for watching!
man, we should hang out some time! I work in IT as well.
appreciate the offer - that's cool you're in the same field!
The only people who don't think toronto is lonely are mostly immigrant families with social circle from their home countries or families with kids who become friends. Or those they grow up with them if they were born in that city. I lived in many cities across in canada and despite begging people to hangout outside school, work, etc. But most people are polite but don't even want to share personal cell number for the occasional text. After a while i just gave up. My solution will be to sponsor my wife's family and get them to move to canada and we can become the social circle.
I was born and raised in toronto with a huge circle and believe me it still feels lonely
@idreesk7826 yeah totally agree but i feel even in a big circle you need people you can genuinely connect with. My personal story is that when i was small until i entered university my parents kept moving all over. We moved within gta, calgary, edmonton, pakistan, etc. So much moving that i barely hung out with anyone regularly within walking distance for more than year max. This made maintaining relationships specially pre smart phone era near impossible. Also the big circle is more for activites or hangouts at parties. The real connection part is still a challenge and finding someone who genuinely likes you enough to be real friend.
@@asadb1990 yeah that is a challenge. In the end I decided I will leave this city for good and maybe come back on occasion
After going there for years, the problem IS the social circles or silos. Nobody wants to talk to anybody different if the don't HAVE to. Remove the need to speak or read English and it gets worse. In some areas, people beleive that that laws are what they say they are because of how many people in the immediate area share the same ideals. And they believe that the other different people are out to steal from them, so lock up the doors and don't talk to anybody.
I find the USA for all of it's faults seems to have more polite people, even in the redneck states and I'm a visible minority that they are supposed to not want to interact with.
Phone calls are good too. But i always feel like im taking that first step
yes phone calls are great! sorry to hear that too.
Its hard but i know there are meet up groups and similar hobby groups you can attend to meet new people or just do frequent travelling 😊
good suggestion - ideally ensure they're hobbies u personally enjoy
Utilize those bennefits!!! Many ppl don’t
nice!
Ewwwww people...😜
Honestly I love being alone, never lonely ❤
You really have to chose wisely as to who you let into your life.
There seems to be more takers....
Born n Raised Torontonian ❤
Nice that's awesome - good on you :)
You should keep one cute Dog and one Cat they will make your life less lonely and they also enjoy company human biengs demand are too high you can't make humans happy this is my Advise
Pets are a great option!
@@FrankHuynh so true back in the days when we lived in small villages life so simple needs were so little our expectations and demands were also very low but now days if you need company you need to provide lot of stuff but people are still not happy and then social media plus car bills they all.make us lonely but pets animals they are more pure spend time in nature sun or may be if you get friendship with international student they might give good company ride a bicyle city life not good go to village side city life is not natural
Or have justin trudeau' as a snake for a pet
@@Doug-zl8nb Hahaha ok thanks i will think about it to keep Trudeau as a snake in my balcony
@@Doug-zl8nb 😝😝😝
great video. Are you chinese? Just curious. See your last time. Also how are the expenses in Canada as a student
Thanks - and part!
Hello this is Chef John, from Food Wishes
Great video! Takes a real one to be open. Let's link up sometime 😊
Thanks dude. I'm pretty open book. That'd be fun - hope all is well.
Is bad here! I live here all my life! As the years go by, it gets worse year by year. I just think that all the real Canadians are gone, and with all the new Canadians from other countries, they don't trust anyone here in Toronto. That's why!
Sorry to hear, I hope things will get better.
Who are "real canadians"?
So true
Isnt the anglo saxxans who made it so unfriendly to begin with?
Law of attraction is goated
you bet!
You’ll never feel that way in a small town
Get a small dog, that's what I did, cure my loneliness problem completely,
nice!
It’s pretty cliched ! Not cliche . You would say .. it’s a cliche . This is why I have no friends lol .
hahah thanks for picking that up - ur fine
@@FrankHuynh lol..just about everyone says it....much like exetra when they mean etcetera.....once again.. i have no friends..lol
It’s not you, it’s the modern world. We are all just cogs in a wheel. There are no more third places because land values are to expensive.
Toronto isn't even a real city, instead, it's more of an over-sized College & University campus.
overpopulated for canadian standards
@@FrankHuynh Glad I don't have kids.
I thought I was watching foodwishes
nope!
Vancouver is worse
oh no!
But plenty of people are alone in that city compared to people in Toronto who often hang out in groups, which can often be a lonelier experience.
Try being an Indian born and raised here. You fit in nowhere.
Move to NB, they will know the name of your mom's dog and your whole sexual life. You will try to manage that when you are to the gas bar and the dude know the owner of the car you have borrowed. Don't move too much, people observe you although you think to be alone, you are never in this province.
Toronto sucks
Just get out of toronto ... u r wasting your life there.