Being a peaceful person with nothing to prove. Validating ourselves through discipline, effort and accountability. Being very much our own entity and complete within ourselves. 🤍
I like to skip the BS in the shallow end. When I was younger I used to swim so far and so fast to the deep end that very few people could follow. They would often have very negative reactions once they got to a certain point with me. And I would ask them why they couldn’t simply make the choice to go a little further with me. Funny, thinking about it now, it’s like I was speaking in a different language. A hard-learned lesson, to be sure, because I did end up alienating a lot of people. This was a great video! It’s clarified a lot for me. Keep doing what you do!
At age 73 I have experienced all of these reactions from people throughout the years. I have done a few door slams also. I wish I had known how to set boundaries in my younger years but happy to be able to set them these days. Thank you for helping me understand my personality type by watching your videos.🤗
"I am going to let that slide because they don't know who they are talking to." Oh I can relate that especially since menopause helped me get in touch with that side of me.
@@karieification the level of gravity of the quote. People don't realize how much someone always being calm chill person literally scares people to the point that they will hate you. Not all people, but most people will somehow feel more uncomfortable around a generally calm person than a serial killer people are very backwards that's all
I lay out my boundaries early, and what I don't tolerate. The rest is on them. The testers, pushers, and non believers find out quickly that I meant what I said.
I never "get mad" out of nowhere. I make a conscious decision before an argument or anything like that happens. I thought everyone was like that until I became an adult and learned about the personality types.
Yes. I've always thought thoroughly what I'm about to do and why I'm going to do it and it's going to make sense. It's calculated steps that are taken with us knowing the risk we are taking. Once we accept our outcome that's when you'll get that other side
Doesn't that epend on whether they are educated, thought-through, self-knowledgeable, emotionally sound and mature, self-taught, active and healthy to do all this, with a good upbringing to know the importance of true, holistic education?
@Medietos No. If your infj isn't a doctor, go see your doctor. If they are, you've won 🏆 😉. Infjs are naturally very loving and protective of their family/partners so you better listen to them. Us, ofc. Everybody has a learning curve, it's unrelated to the infj natural strive to learn and grow.
I’ve noticed most people who feel intimidated by me are insecure. The other times I recognize it’s simply, spiritual… I realize that’s deep but. It is, what it is.
Sometimes people can feel me seeing through them into their soul and it freaks them out because they do not like not being able to hide or lie. I have gotten really good with my non-verbal and indirect communication to subtly show or indicate things without having to directly tell. Every once in a while I catch a demon and they squirm bc they know I know that they know I know.
Wenzes level of presentation is so deep ,that it reaches down to the DNA of the INFJ. Listening to her relate to the unspoken truths of the INFJs psyche is so uncannily accurate it’s spooky . 🙏
THE 5 MOST INTIMIDATING QUALITIES OF THE INFJ (that make others run for the hills) 1. Calm waters run deep -> 1:17 2. Reading g minds -> 6:04 3. INFJ are martyrs. -> 8:54 4. INFJ always one step ahead in their minds -> 13:20 5. INFJ know peoples insecurities -> 16:09 P.S It's not so hard to do the time stamps, try it out guys ;)
One of the strangest parts of being an INFJ is being able to have endless conversations about the complexity and depth of my emotions. As well as having more wisdom than knowledge. The way I dim my light is by playing 'The Fool' archetype. And by dimming my light, people dont see how observant I am. When they see that, they have a weird reaction or maybe even withdraw from me for sometime while they wrestle with the very real question "if he can see everything about me, is he judging me for it?" I can 'feel' the sensation of people watching me thinking I am judging them. Until they realize I both see that and don't judge them. And then they see all the little things I threw in their path to build them up, because my intent and hope for deep relationships is to elevate those I get close to into a higher version of themselves. But even this, i came over some dark places. At my best, I want someone to succeed and become the person THEY want to be, not just succeed at fulfilling a role they chose or had chosen for themself. At my worst, I want them to receive equivalent reciprocal karma for their missteps and bad intent. Did I mention that INFJs are complicated yet??? 😂😂😂
When someone is giving constructive criticism as an Equal respectfully without Malus and a sense of looking down at you thats not judgement. I read somewhere as the advocates we speak Asif were delivering a message from another sauce, that could be the morals spoken off. A friend's told me her her Dad used to have a saying... FACTS DONT CHANGE. I have my own version that is.. The only person a bull#iter has to fear it someone with the truth....👍🇦🇺✌️
INFJs are great gift givers, too! I work very hard at cultivating ideas (and sometimes at just remembering something that the person I'm buying a gift for said they wanted in passing)...it is important for me to give things that the recipient in question TRULY wants to get or have...and they are always so surprised that I remembered something they absent-mindedly said they wanted several months back (even if it was mentioned at a New Year's Eve party the year prior). I cannot STAND gifts that were given with ZERO thought or consideration given to what the person might actually want or need (like gift cards to specific stores/restaurants, for example). Gift giving and writing cards to thank people and acknowledge milestones or achievements in peoples' lives is truly a lost art. 🤷♀️
Coworkers with a control problem, if not thirst for power.. every now and then a new one comes into my life. I have a way of conveying to them that I won't let them control me and once this moment happens, they are forever different around me. There's some relief in this, a sense of power over myself, and that I made the world a slightly better place : )
I have found the retaliation of certain people who have understood that we can read them and their game can get pretty vicious, especially in the corporate environment. Many people take the INFJ for granted. Yes it is enabling snd that is why we attract Narcs. We need to learn to keep our own cup full before we give to others.
@@ewuraamagrant4822 If you go through my description you'll find links to my website. I cant say that I have ever met another INFJ and I think many of us have CPTSD. It may be good to talk to someone like minded.
We don’t attract narcissists- we repel them. They just exist, and we have to deal with them, from time to time, and they are very easily triggered by us.
@@AnaNomas-gu9hi I'm not sure I understand what your trying to say. My CPTSD comes from military service and trauma. Basically I have a strong personality with high ethics and I will not bully or harm ANOTHER just to run with the pack. That makes me a target for bullies and Narcs because I do not submit to them. You could say its a choice, but it doesn't feel like it to me. If they find out you can read them, then they will go all out to destroy you. They can't handle the fact they are so damaged, let alone have anyone else pick up on it. Some call it the lone wolf syndrome. The one wolf that has the strength to walk away from a pack engaging in destructive behaviour. Is developing CPTSD how it happens? Your either subjected to repeated trauma or your not. Its the psyches response to that.
@@AnaNomas-gu9hi have you considered the starseed theory? The 144,000 volunteers that came from higher dimensions to change the fate of humanity, the more advanced souls?
Dimming our light to make someone else shine is not a facade, it's genuine. We would much rather someone happy than any other emotion. It fulfills us, It's deeply real, not a facade. (In primary school I use to make comedy to make people laugh and they would laugh so hard, hysterically sometimes even peeing their pants. I had to tone it down). I think what the point is, is that we should not wait for others to do the same for us, that won't happen. The world is not geared that way. We have to do it for ourselves. Make space for ourselves, go for our goals via any means possible, by hook or by crook.
I think b4 we get to the point of ppl looking down on us and thinking we don’t deserve our light/shine. But i got fed up with filling the wrong ppls cup & then i got used and left with nothing when i needed the simplest thing they didn’t lift a finger and basically laughed like that’s what you get for doing all this for me when i never gave anything in return
I had this happen last month! I was at a Pride event and one of the people at a booth for a therapist group was an INFJ. She and I had a long talk and it was almost like looking into a soul mirror. No, we did not click romantically. She is out of my league 😊
I've met 7 this year alone, all are at different developmental stages so they look very different from each other, even I feeling like an alien amongst them lol. But there's a beautiful fluidity, exchange of ideas, communication, open mindedness that's refreshing. People who don't just hear your words but the meaning behind it. We help each other understand our internal dilemmas just by holding space for each other. Affording a space to speak from our hearts, in doing so we get to know each other and ourselves by those precise questions we ask. Problem get solved faster. There's rarely any filters, we allow breaking of our own ideas of our bs that the other sees and calls out so leads to overcoming things faster, grow faster. THERE'S less defence and more open mindedness to hear why the other says something, we generate a lot more possibilities together, it's like an expansion effect. You feel like an echo of each other yet with a unique voice, and don't feel SO alone. It's easy to spot our people. Like a chord that sounds like home. A familiarity of I know you without knowing you that is more intense than with most people. After having found 7 in a year, I'm confused, how rare are we?
In my opinion, if someone really wants to know your boundaries, they don’t have to be rude, mean, or try to provoke you to do this. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to answer them, but why don’t they just ask questions? That’s what emotionally mature people do, which helps prevent a whole lot of unnecessary drama or problems. Nonetheless, people are still entitled to their privacy whether they answer others or not, and others should respect that, back off, and leave them alone. But again, this is just my opinion.
Actually i feel all people whether infj or not have an inclination to grow and develop deep that means it is on our shoulders to self develop ourselves to the point of being a reference point a leader and a influencer for promoting what is truly good
Those types do not know how to behave. They are partly lacking social skills and do not even know it. Most likely, they are afraid of the answer they might hear.
Yep, this has happened to me last month. It was someone more senior at work. I had my " say", and he RUN...it was said politely and to the point and publicly. Yes, it needs to be done, but with elegance and integrity.
And when we snap people look like we are crazy. I worked with a guy for 4 years and about 2 weeks ago, I finally snapped. He ended up quitting out of rage and anger. I had even requested that he not push me. He kept up. The bosses didn't do anything about it until I finally blew my top. People were like oh..it's that redhead temper, nope, I was just pushed to far.
I love how you always advocate for us! My first reaction is self-criticism, and then, there's your voice, and somehow it always tells a much better story!! Thank you for your work!!
As an ENTP, I would LIKE to say date us ENTPs because we are always trying to better ourselves. Pinpoint our insecurities and help us in the journey of self-betterment. We ❤ you INFJ's! Once we get to the tactful ENTP... this is one of the best couplings possible!
Ive been going around challanging people who complain about the "system" They if they do nothing about it, its the same as letting the bad guys win, that we could change it together.
I stand up for myself after the fact behind closed doors then I’m pissed I stayed silent all because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I know I could be brutal and wither them but then what? I know I’d feel bad. Just knowing is better than the actual doing. Yet, I’m still annoyed to be put in that position. People KNOW how to treat people. If they aren’t doing so that’s on them so if a repeated incident occurs I’ll usually door slam.
@@thirstonhowellthebird Same here. I’ll ruminate over it for a while but when the actual moment was happening I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, even though they’re clearly trying to hurt mine. Plus I’m always questioning myself on whether or not I’m interpreting the situation correctly or not.
My mother … needed a reaction. Never could understand what she wanted that I wasn’t giving her. She used anger, screaming, beatings and taking away anything she gave me … presents, clothing, etc. I followed all the house rules. Honor student. Needed special glasses in high school. Explained it to her. She said get a job at Walgreens (three miles from home) on weekends/evenings and pay for them yourself. Instead of being upset and begging..I walked there, got the job, bought my glasses. Never understood her anger because I did exactly what she told me to do. OMG… she made me a strong woman. Thanks, mom. Don’t love you, but I appreciate the strength of character that helped me through life.
haha, the martyr thing is so true, the reason I use headphones is so I do not annoy people, the reason I wait for others to finish lets say going to the bathroom so I am the last is so they do not have to wait for me. people always find that behaviour a bit odd but never question it and this sort of "regulation" you have to your surroundings, i.e. not being loud on the telephone on a public space or making space for someone else are things a lot of other people do not even care about, you have to ask them that. I think it is because as INFJs that is our people pleasing mentality coming through but also our great perception. One time on a birthday my aunt was flabbergasted when I asked for decaf coffee cause my grandma can not have it and she realized no one else even thought of that. we often times analyze situations, have our own little sort of "cards" for each person, knowing their quirks and try to apply that to a situation. Back in the day when I was a kid I assumed everyone thought this way, but later came to realize I think a lot more about stuff and people than they do.
Im really happy you make videos like this. I always forget and start feeling bad about myself because of how others coin me. My sister called me a "narcissistic psychopath who controls and manipulates everyone around her." Although the way i see it, it's actually her who behaves that way. I can't understand why she even had that idea of me but then I watch your videos and you explain that I held my light back to make her feel better. And i realized I did dampen myself to lift her up and I also tip toed around her but if I didn't, she would have outbursts and yell. When I got tired of doing that after she had pushed me to the edge, then I was honest about her self-centered pushy behavior and I have gotten the cold shoulder from my own sister for more than 4 years who wishes I would die for that one incident. but tbh, it's less stress that shes been out of my life.
My intensity. Though some attribute it to me being a Scorpio as well. Possibly they act as a multiplier. However, finding my calm only seems to happen if I spend long periods of time alone. Unfortunately I've become extremely easy to trigger on important topics. Lies instantly infuriate me. Gaslighting, fakeness, people not thinking for themselves and repeating nonsensical statements which have no basis in reality. All of them I find it nearly impossible not to get highly triggered. Sometimes I just change the topic and leave as quickly as possible. Other times I snap. My cord has gotten way too short. So I have simply chosen to keep to myself.
INFJ-T ♓🖤 The calm is scary. Always has been. 99% of everyone who meets me is just naturally wtf? And feels as though I am just something dangerous. No matter how calm I am. And it's the creepy calm that horrifies so many others. They just cannot comprehend. And I'm like I'm just the nicest person. It literally takes hurricanes to get the calm to subside and the Shadow within to come out. And I have learned that this is always the absolute last option. But they can feel that we are just not the same. I've been to Prison once for long enough and never not once in any way did anyone at all even speak disrespectfully to me. And I was younger and didn't know I was an INFJ-A ♓ at that time and I was always trying to understand what the difference was and why no one treated me the way everyone is typically treated. 💯
An ENTJ reached out to congratulate me on an honor I received and I was responsive, grateful and let them know to ask me if they promote their services on my platform in the future. The person immediately claimed I was triggered, insulted my intellect, insinuated I needed to speak to someone about people pleasing. All because I politely ask they honor a boundary. I had to block them.
✨dear fellow Lady charity nowadays people do not know to appreciate good work, they themselves do not give importance to good quality work neither do they have a vision of how to make true value shine on earth
@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied when she is requesting a help , the reply should be , we have this difficulty etc... instead they acused her thereby showing thier low moral conduct
Others would hear this as being bombastic and arrogant. But the thing is, it's all 100% accurate. What you are doing Wenzes provides so much value. To hear someone explain your entire life is incredibly liberating. Thank you for what you do.
Amazing how God made a few specific people to be able to just up and really help someone because we just grasp the situation so easily. The fact that every human, especially us infjs, are mades so wonderfully complex also shows the intelligence of a Creator!ua-cam.com/video/mIeRU12STNw/v-deo.htmlsi=ir0cladvAsjU5Rhp
Thank you Wenzes! I grew up as a little boy saying “ never get excited”! I observed so many people spinning their wheels worrying about anything and everything. Not for me! That’s nuts! I observe it on the highways even the doctors office everyone looses their 💩! People tried to push my buttons but they always got warned “ you don’t want to release the beast”! After high school people backed down. People were respectful. I liked sitting in a mall around the holidays and watch people walk in and out. Trying to read them and their lives. It was enjoyable and often correct with the people I met. Often have three or more projects going on in my head at a time. Even when I’m reading I can think about other books and where what I’m reading applies. Woo hoo thank you Wenzes! You’re tops!
This was so 🔥 that I’m listening the 3rd time on my town trip! My hair dresser is also INFJ and we tend to drift to these topics. We both share these talks for the self understanding and clarity on boundaries. 🙏🏻 Thank you!! 💕
I love this channel, I found out I was an INFJ when a girl on a dating site I matched with asked me to take the personality test before we continued. Needless to say she ghosted me the moment I told her! LOL! It’s true we walk the world seeing through BS as the observer. I think people see me as an NPC because I’m not part of their club
At around 15 minute mark, thinking logically. -- quality number 4 -- can be very helpful in fields such as law enforcement , EMS, wilderness guiding, etc -- anything involving encounters with surprises or crises.:-)
I’ve have told people… you are better off putting your 2 hands on a mountain and moving it… I cannot let them rule me… if they can control your feelings they can control you…
response to #5 is basically deaming light to make someone feel more secure, i accepted that those who run or are scared to be vulnerable are not the people I want to keep in my circle.
Narcissists will push and push and push. When your aware of them you never give in. Blows their minds. That’s when narcissists want to get aggressive and physical. Having punches thrown at my face in multiple occasions and I never flinched the narcissist walked away. Too bad soo sad for them!
my boss caught me in the one room we have no camera and told me her 5 year old son messed with water I had setting in the freezer on a cart and said to be careful it might be an ice skating rink in the freezer and laughed like it was so funny that I might slip and fall. She said it again one day and laughed and I told her maybe she should go check to see what kind of mess he made and she gave me a weird look and giggled and vanished. Then the same day she set at the lunch table and I was finished eating and had to help a co worker so I got up pretty soon after she sit down and she made a big stink over me leaving as soon as she sat down. I told her I was done eating and had to use the bathroom, I really didnt but she made it so awkard I that I thought she would let it go but she didn't so I just told her she was weird and walked off and everyone laughed, When I had gotten back from helping the co worker she started asking me what I was doing and why i did this or that. Then she had the nerve to ask me to watch her kid and take her to practice. I of course will never do it and said no. She bullies me all the time, always trying to get a reaction out of me. She has never liked me from the get go but will tell me how stressful her life is like she thinks I'll step in and help. I have my own valid reasons to not ever watch her kids, healthy boundaries is being over stepped where I work. She laughs and tell me she is going to just drop her kid off at my house anyways and there for awhile she would start in as soon as I got to work about how she is going to send her kid to my house. I finally told her I would just take her kid to the police station and tell them I dont know where she lived and for them to return the kid. Her laughing stopped for I was serious. She knows I hate loud music so somedays she has it blaring when I come in and one time she even tried to set the speaker next to me and I refused and she said I just know you say you cant ever hear the words..she did it to aggitate me. She has screamed at me several times when her kids are on her last nerve but will scream at no anyone else. She screams where the cameras are not in sight. My coworker would tell me when our boss came through the door with her circus of kids following her and her yelling at them that I better be careful because she knew I would be the one she would go for. She has told her boss I am slow at this and that and I told her if she would keep her kids away from me while I worked I might be faster. Her kids would want me to fix them hot cocoa and they would try to help me and spill their drinks and I would have to mop it up. They would run around me and with hot coffee pots in my hands and turn the lights out on me. I never complained to her or her boss I just dealt with it the best I could. I have no desire to have anything to do with her anymore, I have seen so many unfair things she does at work. I stand my ground when I have to and I dont give her the reaction she wants and I know she will never leave me alone when she wants to bully or is in a mood. I think she is bipolar and has her manic days and I think thise are the loud music days which are maybe once a month but she gets real crazy like hyper and goes real fast and throws things around. We all just igore her like we dont even notice and go about our day but she has to find us and say stuff like why are you doing this or that? She has to stay at work longer than we do and she makes us feel guilty for leaving her, she gives so much work to do at the end so we barely finish before time to go. She hates it when I do up all the things on her manipulating game list because we might get done 10 min early. She is cold natured and Complains how cold it is becauSsES
When you see the world often put others down, you want to help them feel good about their natural selves too. However, it can become enabling when you don't let them stand in uncomfortable feelings on their own
For most of my life anytime told me I was intimidating it came to me as a complete shock, usually provoking astonishment from the other person. Thank you for helping me to finally understand this. It is spooky how exactly accurate your videos tend to be.
Wow!! Pretty spot on! I am this but would have No idea how to articulate any of this to most others if I wanted to express how or why I do these things. Thank You for explaining this.
I do have a coworker who seems to be trying to push buttons, but it's hard to tell if she is playing a power game trying to irritate others, or if she is just a self absorbed twit that doesn't know the effect she has on people. It's possible if I put her on notice she might wake up and be more aware, or she might stop playing her games. If I weren't so conflict adverse, and if she weren't so protected in the system, I might find out.
I have an employee who acts out in a moment when I ask her opinion and try to make a plan together and say "if you want me to do it your way just say so". I was taken aback because I saw it as working together/problem solving as a team and she sees it as being passive aggressive. When I ask why she was suddenly offended she says "it's just the way you say things sometimes". I think always working out scenarios in our own head and really needing time to work all the options with something unfamiliar and rushing that process by immediately engaging seems to trigger this person for some reason. Then later everything is fine with them after a cooling of period for them. I am sure she knows deep down I am not meaning to seem that way but she really does not understand introverted leadership mixed with sudden unexpected change lol
INFJs are unique people. that's why most people have such a strong reaction to them. I also had a similar experience as well.:):) It was an absolutely wonderful experience. But even people like me. I'm an INFP :) need time to adapt and understand what it was.❤
I belive that many run from me because I challenge them to be couragious. I often act obviously unconcerned about peer pressure. I also really do see through the masks (it is always on my mind; what someone is hiding) and that makes them feel exposed because I guess I get right to the heart of matters which expose the charade. YET, I too use a mask, ugh. But, again tonight I removed the mask and it is true that Im WaaAAay better without it. And feel more honest. Wenzes, You are so dead on on so many things, wow. I am really encouraged by your insighs. Please know you are being prayed for. Jesus bless you.
As an INFJ who has suffered with CPtsd most of my life I have outbursts fairly often when I’m pushed into situations that I have little control over other than to leave of course. In my own home with family I can snap but come back quickly. Also one family member is a BPD so because I’m the one who fixes and cares for everyone I get delegated to deal with them until I no longer can…🤦♀️
I’m working on moving past the martyr syndrome. I grew up with four jealous sisters and a mother who pitted us against each other. It was easier to dim my light. This way I didn’t have to deal with their emotions. We’re no contact. So, I don’t have to deal with them now. It’s still hard because they never knew me. They also never knew how hard I push myself. I earn every accomplishment. In friendships, I find that similar things happen. Everyone wants their own horn tooted, but God forbid someone who does it better. I don’t waste my time with people like that anymore.
Wow this is nuts I would build my ex up in return he tore me down andwhen he saw me get up, he took another shot He was also steal8ng my light and energy
Being an INFJ, I tend to want to explore what makes people behave the way they do. I don't get upset easily, and sometimes I'll think twice. I can get confrontationable with emotionable manipulation before the door slam.
Hello ma'am, Thank you for the insight into the INFJ. I needed this information in order to understand the INFJ in my life. You have shown me through your videos that I let my guard down (as my own internal warning bell had told me before), and I let her get too close. But to be fair, she wiggled into my heart by herself...I was not looking for it or expecting it. Thanks again for the videos.
I am too emotionally self-conscious not to have a filter and boundaries; communication of that reality is poetry in motion. More compassion requires less ego.
"many people intimidating me to make me feel unconfortable, not me who intimidating them, they talk bad words about me to make me feel unconfortable even they are not mention my name i feel those bad words belongs to me.i have strong intuition that's why i know their real intention and motives towards me,they want me to become one of their member that's the real story after i studied their behaviour and and patterns i conclude this true and correct!"
My coworked messed with me a lot (he was a narcissist). I let him belittle me in front of managers while staying calm and politely asking him to change his language. A month later it was time to renew his contract, they didn't. Sometimes it's good to stay a few steps ahead. Messing with INFJs is like playing with kites made of metal during a lightning storm in an open field.
OMG I know it's wrong but I laughed at this whole video because I am an INFJ and this is so so so accurate because so many times all of this stuff has come to light and now I'm just like YEAH I KNOW and you just sit back and watch it all 😂 I'm SUPER PROUD of all my INFJ qualities 🖤
This scares me somewhat. Theres nothing ive heard out of this ladys mouth that isnt who i am as a person. Its crazy how accurate that test is, genuinely phenomenal.
3) martyrs I have found in my experience I get this very same reaction from people e.g. whether Im like an open book & not hide things about myself or dim my light to make others feel comfortable. I get the same reaction which is I can see them getting flustered before my very eyes often changing the subject or cutting the conversation short and literally running from me. I get this with people I know very well as well as people I first meet. I also get people trying to compete with me a lot especially at work amongst some people I barely even speak to or even know.im very respectful and kind to people so find it Very baffling & confusing I honestly dont know what it is. Thats why im mostly a loner & keep to myself.
I'm literally watching this as everyone else are ringing in the new year, because I haven't wanted to "rock the boat". I swear, this video is pumping me up like some kind of pre-game warm up. There's literally not a better time that I can think of,.... to start a new! I'm not doing this $#!+ anymore. I'm tired of feeling responsible for someone else's happiness, bending over backwards to make them happy, only for them to just be upset about something else, and on and on.... life's too short for this $#!+, I'm not the cause of her unhappiness and I'm not responsible for fixing it, especially when she does literally nothing to work on herself, because none of our issues are ever about her. I don't know how I didn't see these things before. I mean, when I hear you say these things out loud, it's super obvious. But being in the relationship and never actually hearing about this stuff before, I guess I was just blind to it all. Normally, I would have gone into the new year all down and sad because she's upset and asleep on the couch and I couldn't make New Years fun for her and blah blah blah.... But instead, I'm pumped and ready for the new year and I'm not doing whatever this $#!+ is anymore. Seriously, I couldn't have seen this video at a better time.
well, I have a hard time when other people are talking about themselves and I ask them questions and we go deep and I reveal to them what they don't see and they just get confused about themselves and end up resenting me :(
Another illuminating video, Wenzes. I would love to see you do some content on Dario Nardi's research on the sub-types: Dominant, Normalising, Creative and Harmonising. And now I'm getting really demanding... how the Enneagram types influence the INFJ. Thank you so much again.
#3 Why is it intimidating and triggering for others? I've got to find the why. If it was done for me, I would just say thank you and now it's your turn. That's the gracious and polite thing to do, is it not ?? It's not our problem, whoever is triggered or intimidated has an issue. Actually if you think about it, it is another gift toward (mental) health. I know if I am triggered or intimidated it's something I have to work on.
I just unintentionally called out my realtor friend's insecurities to him by just saying out loud what is obvious to me-- from the beginning of our friendship, I've had a growing impression of him acting in front of a camera. But he has never acted or even thought about it. I said it enough times that he said he and his girlfriend would take a class if they got the opportunity, basically blowing it off as insignificant. Then, when he actually made a pass at me at their engagement party, I saw his truth and told him again that he would be a good actor. He's a suave, big-hearted Romeo, who just needs a bigger audience than a few people buying/selling a house. I told him if he simply did what he already does, but in front of a bigger audience, he would have so many women worshipping at his feet. He laughed, he admitted, he was nervous and hasn't contacted me since, which isn't like him.
15:58 Listening to these feels like a return to myself. For the longest time, I would have conflicting feelings about some of these topics like being cold and unemotional at times. You are right though, it does allow for me to be more rational and in turn more kind.
What are some of your qualities as an INFJ that seem to make others "run" from you?
what is important to the world is secondary to us and this makes them mad 💥
I am frankly a matter of fact person - you know the someone who has no problem helping a person by making it make sense to them I am no push over!
Being a peaceful person with nothing to prove. Validating ourselves through discipline, effort and accountability. Being very much our own entity and complete within ourselves. 🤍
I like to skip the BS in the shallow end. When I was younger I used to swim so far and so fast to the deep end that very few people could follow. They would often have very negative reactions once they got to a certain point with me. And I would ask them why they couldn’t simply make the choice to go a little further with me. Funny, thinking about it now, it’s like I was speaking in a different language. A hard-learned lesson, to be sure, because I did end up alienating a lot of people. This was a great video! It’s clarified a lot for me. Keep doing what you do!
At age 73 I have experienced all of these reactions from people throughout the years. I have done a few door slams also. I wish I had known how to set boundaries in my younger years but happy to be able to set them these days. Thank you for helping me understand my personality type by watching your videos.🤗
We're not intimidating, they are intimidated.
Love this… this is are swag 100%
A valid distinction.
Apparently the spaced out deadpan expression is scary..
😅😂😂 yeess infj do nothing, we just do brutal honesty and as it is. No drama no fake 😅😂
🔥🔥🔥
"I am going to let that slide because they don't know who they are talking to." Oh I can relate that especially since menopause helped me get in touch with that side of me.
Being quiet.... For some reason ppl can't deal with it.
True
Quiet means a projection magnet. It’s automatic invite for thumping on.
@@karieificationthis is a lowkey genius quote
@@chiefbeef5590 how did that hit you? Can you relate?
@@karieification the level of gravity of the quote. People don't realize how much someone always being calm chill person literally scares people to the point that they will hate you. Not all people, but most people will somehow feel more uncomfortable around a generally calm person than a serial killer people are very backwards that's all
I lay out my boundaries early, and what I don't tolerate. The rest is on them. The testers, pushers, and non believers find out quickly that I meant what I said.
Sounds good!
INFJ, one of the "eff around and find out" kind of people.
👊🙂↕️🫸💀
You r correct. Anyone who has messed with me will agree.
We give warning before destruction too😂
The concise shortest version of the INFJ personality type description..😂
I’ve been asked so many times “can you read minds?” 😂 “are you a witch?” No. I can read you. Your habitual behaviour.
Oh yeah.
Yeeessss! Heard this too! 😂 I can even tell what’s going on over the phone… lol
I've been called a witch several times before 😂
Calm waters run deep.
Reading minds.
We're martyrs.
Always one step ahead in their minds.
We know people's insecurities.
Sooo true. I read people's insecurities/childhood traumas very well. Both a blessing and a curse.
I'm an infj and I get triggered easily unfortunately
@Pilts82 infj here too. I experienced a halt to all triggering due to complex ptsd once I started eating a carnivores diet.
Perfectly dude.
🎉
INFJs can see right through people. I think this is what scares people - and also not afraid to confront things are they are.
I never "get mad" out of nowhere. I make a conscious decision before an argument or anything like that happens. I thought everyone was like that until I became an adult and learned about the personality types.
This.
Yes. I've always thought thoroughly what I'm about to do and why I'm going to do it and it's going to make sense. It's calculated steps that are taken with us knowing the risk we are taking. Once we accept our outcome that's when you'll get that other side
We are the gate keepers. Whatever we don't stop here, will be at your doorstep. If you have an infj in your life - better listen to them. ❤
Im more of a key master ;P
@@MegaCyberleaderZuul?!?
You GOT that right....gate keepers with a secret golden key :)
Doesn't that epend on whether they are educated, thought-through, self-knowledgeable, emotionally sound and mature, self-taught, active and healthy to do all this, with a good upbringing to know the importance of true, holistic education?
@Medietos No. If your infj isn't a doctor, go see your doctor. If they are, you've won 🏆 😉. Infjs are naturally very loving and protective of their family/partners so you better listen to them. Us, ofc. Everybody has a learning curve, it's unrelated to the infj natural strive to learn and grow.
I’ve noticed most people who feel intimidated by me are insecure. The other times I recognize it’s simply, spiritual… I realize that’s deep but. It is, what it is.
It is what it is. Most people are intimidated by me, except other Infj’s / mature adults, comfortable/ confident people.
Sometimes people can feel me seeing through them into their soul and it freaks them out because they do not like not being able to hide or lie. I have gotten really good with my non-verbal and indirect communication to subtly show or indicate things without having to directly tell. Every once in a while I catch a demon and they squirm bc they know I know that they know I know.
I love it! It’s hilarious I laugh and they ask why and I don’t need to explain because we both know.
Wenzes level of presentation is so deep ,that it reaches down to the DNA of the INFJ. Listening to her relate to the unspoken truths of the INFJs psyche is so uncannily accurate it’s spooky . 🙏
Basically proof she’s an INFJ 😎
THE 5 MOST INTIMIDATING QUALITIES OF THE INFJ (that make others run for the hills)
1. Calm waters run deep -> 1:17
2. Reading g minds -> 6:04
3. INFJ are martyrs. -> 8:54
4. INFJ always one step ahead in their minds -> 13:20
5. INFJ know peoples insecurities -> 16:09
P.S It's not so hard to do the time stamps, try it out guys ;)
Thank you
One of the strangest parts of being an INFJ is being able to have endless conversations about the complexity and depth of my emotions. As well as having more wisdom than knowledge. The way I dim my light is by playing 'The Fool' archetype. And by dimming my light, people dont see how observant I am. When they see that, they have a weird reaction or maybe even withdraw from me for sometime while they wrestle with the very real question "if he can see everything about me, is he judging me for it?" I can 'feel' the sensation of people watching me thinking I am judging them. Until they realize I both see that and don't judge them. And then they see all the little things I threw in their path to build them up, because my intent and hope for deep relationships is to elevate those I get close to into a higher version of themselves. But even this, i came over some dark places. At my best, I want someone to succeed and become the person THEY want to be, not just succeed at fulfilling a role they chose or had chosen for themself. At my worst, I want them to receive equivalent reciprocal karma for their missteps and bad intent. Did I mention that INFJs are complicated yet??? 😂😂😂
Fantastic explanation.
Well said!!! I so appreciate your comment.
When someone is giving constructive criticism as an Equal respectfully without Malus and a sense of looking down at you thats not judgement.
I read somewhere as the advocates we speak Asif were delivering a message from another sauce, that could be the morals spoken off. A friend's told me her her Dad used to have a saying...
FACTS DONT CHANGE.
I have my own version that is..
The only person a bull#iter has to fear it someone with the truth....👍🇦🇺✌️
Perfectly expressed. Well said. Thank you.
Omg ! Perfectly said!!!
INFJs are great gift givers, too! I work very hard at cultivating ideas (and sometimes at just remembering something that the person I'm buying a gift for said they wanted in passing)...it is important for me to give things that the recipient in question TRULY wants to get or have...and they are always so surprised that I remembered something they absent-mindedly said they wanted several months back (even if it was mentioned at a New Year's Eve party the year prior). I cannot STAND gifts that were given with ZERO thought or consideration given to what the person might actually want or need (like gift cards to specific stores/restaurants, for example). Gift giving and writing cards to thank people and acknowledge milestones or achievements in peoples' lives is truly a lost art. 🤷♀️
Coworkers with a control problem, if not thirst for power.. every now and then a new one comes into my life. I have a way of conveying to them that I won't let them control me and once this moment happens, they are forever different around me. There's some relief in this, a sense of power over myself, and that I made the world a slightly better place : )
I have found the retaliation of certain people who have understood that we can read them and their game can get pretty vicious, especially in the corporate environment.
Many people take the INFJ for granted. Yes it is enabling snd that is why we attract Narcs. We need to learn to keep our own cup full before we give to others.
Let get together. I’m INFJ with CPTSD .
@@ewuraamagrant4822 If you go through my description you'll find links to my website.
I cant say that I have ever met another INFJ and I think many of us have CPTSD. It may be good to talk to someone like minded.
We don’t attract narcissists- we repel them. They just exist, and we have to deal with them, from time to time, and they are very easily triggered by us.
@@AnaNomas-gu9hi I'm not sure I understand what your trying to say. My CPTSD comes from military service and trauma.
Basically I have a strong personality with high ethics and I will not bully or harm ANOTHER just to run with the pack. That makes me a target for bullies and Narcs because I do not submit to them.
You could say its a choice, but it doesn't feel like it to me. If they find out you can read them, then they will go all out to destroy you. They can't handle the fact they are so damaged, let alone have anyone else pick up on it.
Some call it the lone wolf syndrome. The one wolf that has the strength to walk away from a pack engaging in destructive behaviour.
Is developing CPTSD how it happens? Your either subjected to repeated trauma or your not. Its the psyches response to that.
@@AnaNomas-gu9hi have you considered the starseed theory? The 144,000 volunteers that came from higher dimensions to change the fate of humanity, the more advanced souls?
As an INFJ i always expect the unexpected.I never get excited.
Me too.
Only scared that I will fall in love with every INFJ I meet. I am an INFP by the way.
Right back atcha…❤️
I am. Single, independent, professional, confident woman. I am not bound my society’s pressures. People don’t seem to know how to respond to me.
I feel you.
It’s very powerful. You. Just being yourself. I understand that most people cannot get ahold of you. You’re the light of the world.
Dimming our light to make someone else shine is not a facade, it's genuine. We would much rather someone happy than any other emotion. It fulfills us, It's deeply real, not a facade. (In primary school I use to make comedy to make people laugh and they would laugh so hard, hysterically sometimes even peeing their pants. I had to tone it down). I think what the point is, is that we should not wait for others to do the same for us, that won't happen. The world is not geared that way. We have to do it for ourselves. Make space for ourselves, go for our goals via any means possible, by hook or by crook.
I think b4 we get to the point of ppl looking down on us and thinking we don’t deserve our light/shine. But i got fed up with filling the wrong ppls cup & then i got used and left with nothing when i needed the simplest thing they didn’t lift a finger and basically laughed like that’s what you get for doing all this for me when i never gave anything in return
I'd love to see a video about when an INFJ meets another INFJ given how rare that encounter is.
It would be like encounter of two great oceans 💙🌊🥂✨
Or you could just give birth to one like I did. Interesting to see the differences since he is male. Still a beautiful and amazing thing.
I had this happen last month! I was at a Pride event and one of the people at a booth for a therapist group was an INFJ. She and I had a long talk and it was almost like looking into a soul mirror. No, we did not click romantically. She is out of my league 😊
I have met people that I just knew in my head that they were also INFJs, and they confirmed that. You would feel like you are talking to yourself.
I've met 7 this year alone, all are at different developmental stages so they look very different from each other, even I feeling like an alien amongst them lol. But there's a beautiful fluidity, exchange of ideas, communication, open mindedness that's refreshing. People who don't just hear your words but the meaning behind it.
We help each other understand our internal dilemmas just by holding space for each other. Affording a space to speak from our hearts, in doing so we get to know each other and ourselves by those precise questions we ask.
Problem get solved faster. There's rarely any filters, we allow breaking of our own ideas of our bs that the other sees and calls out so leads to overcoming things faster, grow faster.
THERE'S less defence and more open mindedness to hear why the other says something, we generate a lot more possibilities together, it's like an expansion effect.
You feel like an echo of each other yet with a unique voice, and don't feel SO alone.
It's easy to spot our people. Like a chord that sounds like home. A familiarity of I know you without knowing you that is more intense than with most people.
After having found 7 in a year, I'm confused, how rare are we?
In my opinion, if someone really wants to know your boundaries, they don’t have to be rude, mean, or try to provoke you to do this. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to answer them, but why don’t they just ask questions? That’s what emotionally mature people do, which helps prevent a whole lot of unnecessary drama or problems. Nonetheless, people are still entitled to their privacy whether they answer others or not, and others should respect that, back off, and leave them alone. But again, this is just my opinion.
They are immature.
Actually i feel all people whether infj or not have an inclination to grow and develop deep that means it is on our shoulders to self develop ourselves to the point of being a reference point a leader and a influencer for promoting what is truly good
Those types do not know how to behave. They are partly lacking social skills and do not even know it. Most likely, they are afraid of the answer they might hear.
Yep, this has happened to me last month. It was someone more senior at work. I had my " say", and he RUN...it was said politely and to the point and publicly. Yes, it needs to be done, but with elegance and integrity.
As an INFJ I recognized my self with a deeper understanding thanks for sharing.
And when we snap people look like we are crazy. I worked with a guy for 4 years and about 2 weeks ago, I finally snapped. He ended up quitting out of rage and anger. I had even requested that he not push me. He kept up. The bosses didn't do anything about it until I finally blew my top. People were like oh..it's that redhead temper, nope, I was just pushed to far.
Yup! We can take it, and take it, and take it… then finally Boom 💥 and the other person is dumbfounded! And then say ‘we’ are the problem… lol
I love how you always advocate for us! My first reaction is self-criticism, and then, there's your voice, and somehow it always tells a much better story!! Thank you for your work!!
what is important to the world is secondary to us and this makes them mad 💥✨
Lol for real
As an ENTP, I would LIKE to say date us ENTPs because we are always trying to better ourselves. Pinpoint our insecurities and help us in the journey of self-betterment. We ❤ you INFJ's! Once we get to the tactful ENTP... this is one of the best couplings possible!
Ive been going around challanging people who complain about the "system" They if they do nothing about it, its the same as letting the bad guys win, that we could change it together.
Hats off to Wenzes for standing up to her coworker! When I finally learn to stand up for myself that’ll be my biggest leap in social skills.
Same 🎉 let's go!! For standing up for yourself!! 😂
be prepared for anything.
I stand up for myself after the fact behind closed doors then I’m pissed I stayed silent all because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I know I could be brutal and wither them but then what? I know I’d feel bad. Just knowing is better than the actual doing. Yet, I’m still annoyed to be put in that position. People KNOW how to treat people. If they aren’t doing so that’s on them so if a repeated incident occurs I’ll usually door slam.
@@thirstonhowellthebird Same here. I’ll ruminate over it for a while but when the actual moment was happening I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, even though they’re clearly trying to hurt mine. Plus I’m always questioning myself on whether or not I’m interpreting the situation correctly or not.
@@AndrewNorton-d1e Me too! Totally!
My mother … needed a reaction. Never could understand what she wanted that I wasn’t giving her. She used anger, screaming, beatings and taking away anything she gave me … presents, clothing, etc. I followed all the house rules. Honor student. Needed special glasses in high school. Explained it to her. She said get a job at Walgreens (three miles from home) on weekends/evenings and pay for them yourself. Instead of being upset and begging..I walked there, got the job, bought my glasses. Never understood her anger because I did exactly what she told me to do.
OMG… she made me a strong woman. Thanks, mom. Don’t love you, but I appreciate the strength of character that helped me through life.
I've become very assertive and I have no fear , I learned I don't hold things in , and it's so light feeling ✨️
My INFJ no fear stories are legendary
haha, the martyr thing is so true, the reason I use headphones is so I do not annoy people, the reason I wait for others to finish lets say going to the bathroom so I am the last is so they do not have to wait for me. people always find that behaviour a bit odd but never question it and this sort of "regulation" you have to your surroundings, i.e. not being loud on the telephone on a public space or making space for someone else are things a lot of other people do not even care about, you have to ask them that. I think it is because as INFJs that is our people pleasing mentality coming through but also our great perception. One time on a birthday my aunt was flabbergasted when I asked for decaf coffee cause my grandma can not have it and she realized no one else even thought of that. we often times analyze situations, have our own little sort of "cards" for each person, knowing their quirks and try to apply that to a situation. Back in the day when I was a kid I assumed everyone thought this way, but later came to realize I think a lot more about stuff and people than they do.
Im really happy you make videos like this. I always forget and start feeling bad about myself because of how others coin me. My sister called me a "narcissistic psychopath who controls and manipulates everyone around her." Although the way i see it, it's actually her who behaves that way. I can't understand why she even had that idea of me but then I watch your videos and you explain that I held my light back to make her feel better. And i realized I did dampen myself to lift her up and I also tip toed around her but if I didn't, she would have outbursts and yell. When I got tired of doing that after she had pushed me to the edge, then I was honest about her self-centered pushy behavior and I have gotten the cold shoulder from my own sister for more than 4 years who wishes I would die for that one incident. but tbh, it's less stress that shes been out of my life.
I like that calm cool analysis trait, it reminds me of Mr Spock; he usually was the one saving the Enterprise, but Kirk takes all the credit. lol
My intensity. Though some attribute it to me being a Scorpio as well. Possibly they act as a multiplier. However, finding my calm only seems to happen if I spend long periods of time alone. Unfortunately I've become extremely easy to trigger on important topics. Lies instantly infuriate me. Gaslighting, fakeness, people not thinking for themselves and repeating nonsensical statements which have no basis in reality. All of them I find it nearly impossible not to get highly triggered. Sometimes I just change the topic and leave as quickly as possible. Other times I snap. My cord has gotten way too short. So I have simply chosen to keep to myself.
This is crazy! I said this exactly thing yesterday!! I didn't know there were others like me in this world!!!
INFJ-T ♓🖤
The calm is scary. Always has been. 99% of everyone who meets me is just naturally wtf? And feels as though I am just something dangerous. No matter how calm I am. And it's the creepy calm that horrifies so many others. They just cannot comprehend. And I'm like I'm just the nicest person. It literally takes hurricanes to get the calm to subside and the Shadow within to come out. And I have learned that this is always the absolute last option. But they can feel that we are just not the same. I've been to Prison once for long enough and never not once in any way did anyone at all even speak disrespectfully to me. And I was younger and didn't know I was an INFJ-A ♓ at that time and I was always trying to understand what the difference was and why no one treated me the way everyone is typically treated. 💯
An ENTJ reached out to congratulate me on an honor I received and I was responsive, grateful and let them know to ask me if they promote their services on my platform in the future. The person immediately claimed I was triggered, insulted my intellect, insinuated I needed to speak to someone about people pleasing. All because I politely ask they honor a boundary. I had to block them.
ah, blocking them is so ez on social media these days, Imagine the before time.
✨dear fellow Lady charity nowadays people do not know to appreciate good work, they themselves do not give importance to good quality work neither do they have a vision of how to make true value shine on earth
I have no clue what this even means. Someone complements you, and you demanded that they ask you something? This makes no sense.
@@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied when she is requesting a help , the reply should be , we have this difficulty etc... instead they acused her thereby showing thier low moral conduct
Use your INFJ abilities at the poker table
Others would hear this as being bombastic and arrogant. But the thing is, it's all 100% accurate. What you are doing Wenzes provides so much value. To hear someone explain your entire life is incredibly liberating. Thank you for what you do.
Hearing all of this is like hitting the bullseye 👁 🎯 thankyou Wenzes! 😊
Amazing how God made a few specific people to be able to just up and really help someone because we just grasp the situation so easily. The fact that every human, especially us infjs, are mades so wonderfully complex also shows the intelligence of a Creator!ua-cam.com/video/mIeRU12STNw/v-deo.htmlsi=ir0cladvAsjU5Rhp
That is a beautiful thought. Thank you. 💖
@belladonna2104 God is a beautiful God - and desires us to know Him
ua-cam.com/video/mIeRU12STNw/v-deo.htmlsi=ir0cladvAsjU5Rhp
I've never seen myself as being intimidating. This is food for thought.
Thank you Wenzes! I grew up as a little boy saying “ never get excited”! I observed so many people spinning their wheels worrying about anything and everything. Not for me! That’s nuts! I observe it on the highways even the doctors office everyone looses their 💩! People tried to push my buttons but they always got warned “ you don’t want to release the beast”! After high school people backed down. People were respectful. I liked sitting in a mall around the holidays and watch people walk in and out. Trying to read them and their lives. It was enjoyable and often correct with the people I met. Often have three or more projects going on in my head at a time. Even when I’m reading I can think about other books and where what I’m reading applies. Woo hoo thank you Wenzes! You’re tops!
This was so 🔥 that I’m listening the 3rd time on my town trip! My hair dresser is also INFJ and we tend to drift to these topics. We both share these talks for the self understanding and clarity on boundaries. 🙏🏻 Thank you!! 💕
I love this channel, I found out I was an INFJ when a girl on a dating site I matched with asked me to take the personality test before we continued. Needless to say she ghosted me the moment I told her! LOL! It’s true we walk the world seeing through BS as the observer. I think people see me as an NPC because I’m not part of their club
Damn you’re good
Wenze's I concur with you people do run to the hills because of what I am.Wenze's your awesome.Jerome❤❤❤
At around 15 minute mark, thinking logically. -- quality number 4 -- can be very helpful in fields such as law enforcement , EMS, wilderness guiding, etc -- anything involving encounters with surprises or crises.:-)
I’ve have told people… you are better off putting your 2 hands on a mountain and moving it… I cannot let them rule me… if they can control your feelings they can control you…
response to #5 is basically deaming light to make someone feel more secure, i accepted that those who run or are scared to be vulnerable are not the people I want to keep in my circle.
Brilliant
Number five
Fascinating thank you..
Sending love blessings and respe
♥️🙏☀️xx
Narcissists will push and push and push. When your aware of them you never give in. Blows their minds. That’s when narcissists want to get aggressive and physical. Having punches thrown at my face in multiple occasions and I never flinched the narcissist walked away. Too bad soo sad for them!
my boss caught me in the one room we have no camera and told me her 5 year old son messed with water I had setting in the freezer on a cart and said to be careful it might be an ice skating rink in the freezer and laughed like it was so funny that I might slip and fall. She said it again one day and laughed and I told her maybe she should go check to see what kind of mess he made and she gave me a weird look and giggled and vanished. Then the same day she set at the lunch table and I was finished eating and had to help a co worker so I got up pretty soon after she sit down and she made a big stink over me leaving as soon as she sat down. I told her I was done eating and had to use the bathroom, I really didnt but she made it so awkard I that I thought she would let it go but she didn't so I just told her she was weird and walked off and everyone laughed, When I had gotten back from helping the co worker she started asking me what I was doing and why i did this or that. Then she had the nerve to ask me to watch her kid and take her to practice. I of course will never do it and said no. She bullies me all the time, always trying to get a reaction out of me. She has never liked me from the get go but will tell me how stressful her life is like she thinks I'll step in and help. I have my own valid reasons to not ever watch her kids, healthy boundaries is being over stepped where I work. She laughs and tell me she is going to just drop her kid off at my house anyways and there for awhile she would start in as soon as I got to work about how she is going to send her kid to my house. I finally told her I would just take her kid to the police station and tell them I dont know where she lived and for them to return the kid. Her laughing stopped for I was serious. She knows I hate loud music so somedays she has it blaring when I come in and one time she even tried to set the speaker next to me and I refused and she said I just know you say you cant ever hear the words..she did it to aggitate me. She has screamed at me several times when her kids are on her last nerve but will scream at no anyone else. She screams where the cameras are not in sight. My coworker would tell me when our boss came through the door with her circus of kids following her and her yelling at them that I better be careful because she knew I would be the one she would go for. She has told her boss I am slow at this and that and I told her if she would keep her kids away from me while I worked I might be faster. Her kids would want me to fix them hot cocoa and they would try to help me and spill their drinks and I would have to mop it up. They would run around me and with hot coffee pots in my hands and turn the lights out on me. I never complained to her or her boss I just dealt with it the best I could. I have no desire to have anything to do with her anymore, I have seen so many unfair things she does at work. I stand my ground when I have to and I dont give her the reaction she wants and I know she will never leave me alone when she wants to bully or is in a mood. I think she is bipolar and has her manic days and I think thise are the loud music days which are maybe once a month but she gets real crazy like hyper and goes real fast and throws things around. We all just igore her like we dont even notice and go about our day but she has to find us and say stuff like why are you doing this or that? She has to stay at work longer than we do and she makes us feel guilty for leaving her, she gives so much work to do at the end so we barely finish before time to go. She hates it when I do up all the things on her manipulating game list because we might get done 10 min early. She is cold natured and Complains how cold it is becauSsES
I make space for others, it's not always about martyrdom
When you see the world often put others down, you want to help them feel good about their natural selves too. However, it can become enabling when you don't let them stand in uncomfortable feelings on their own
100%
For most of my life anytime told me I was intimidating it came to me as a complete shock, usually provoking astonishment from the other person. Thank you for helping me to finally understand this. It is spooky how exactly accurate your videos tend to be.
Wow!! Pretty spot on!
I am this but would have No idea how to articulate any of this to most others if I wanted to express how or why I do these things.
Thank You for explaining this.
INFJ are stratigik beings...
Nailed it !...
every video from your channel is givin me goosebumps, never no one have helped me so much to understand my personality, thanks you so much
You are talking my language. Thank you for explaining it so well.
Cool stuff. I believe I am INFJ.
I do have a coworker who seems to be trying to push buttons, but it's hard to tell if she is playing a power game trying to irritate others, or if she is just a self absorbed twit that doesn't know the effect she has on people. It's possible if I put her on notice she might wake up and be more aware, or she might stop playing her games. If I weren't so conflict adverse, and if she weren't so protected in the system, I might find out.
I have an employee who acts out in a moment when I ask her opinion and try to make a plan together and say "if you want me to do it your way just say so". I was taken aback because I saw it as working together/problem solving as a team and she sees it as being passive aggressive. When I ask why she was suddenly offended she says "it's just the way you say things sometimes". I think always working out scenarios in our own head and really needing time to work all the options with something unfamiliar and rushing that process by immediately engaging seems to trigger this person for some reason. Then later everything is fine with them after a cooling of period for them. I am sure she knows deep down I am not meaning to seem that way but she really does not understand introverted leadership mixed with sudden unexpected change lol
This channel has been very useful, I just found you the other day... thank you! :)
💯 facts thanks love your videos
Thank you , you are an amazing young women and teacher...💌
We are strong and confident 💪 that's there own insecurities about themselves
“Their” but yes, I concur, 100%
Wow, I never thought of martyrdom as one of my qualities, but I get it.
Reluctant martyr.
100% expert level
Doesn't matter if you tell ppl. Since INFJ are so calm, it's mostly not even heard with the ears they need to hear the message with.
INFJs are unique people. that's why most people have such a strong reaction to them. I also had a similar experience as well.:):) It was an absolutely wonderful experience. But even people like me. I'm an INFP :) need time to adapt and understand what it was.❤
I belive that many run from me because I challenge them to be couragious. I often act obviously unconcerned about peer pressure. I also really do see through the masks (it is always on my mind; what someone is hiding) and that makes them feel exposed because I guess I get right to the heart of matters which expose the charade. YET, I too use a mask, ugh. But, again tonight I removed the mask and it is true that Im WaaAAay better without it. And feel more honest.
Wenzes, You are so dead on on so many things, wow. I am really encouraged by your insighs. Please know you are being prayed for. Jesus bless you.
As an INFJ who has suffered with CPtsd most of my life I have outbursts fairly often when I’m pushed into situations that I have little control over other than to leave of course. In my own home with family I can snap but come back quickly. Also one family member is a BPD so because I’m the one who fixes and cares for everyone I get delegated to deal with them until I no longer can…🤦♀️
I’m working on moving past the martyr syndrome. I grew up with four jealous sisters and a mother who pitted us against each other. It was easier to dim my light. This way I didn’t have to deal with their emotions. We’re no contact. So, I don’t have to deal with them now. It’s still hard because they never knew me. They also never knew how hard I push myself. I earn every accomplishment. In friendships, I find that similar things happen. Everyone wants their own horn tooted, but God forbid someone who does it better. I don’t waste my time with people like that anymore.
When we said we were "a step" ahead... Believe us, we are trying to be humble
I really love this channel but its hard to relate sometimes as an infj with severe cptsd. This channel represents where i want to be. So thank you.
Wow this is nuts
I would build my ex up in return he tore me down andwhen he saw me get up, he took another shot
He was also steal8ng my light and energy
Being an INFJ, I tend to want to explore what makes people behave the way they do. I don't get upset easily, and sometimes I'll think twice. I can get confrontationable with emotionable manipulation before the door slam.
Hello ma'am,
Thank you for the insight into the INFJ. I needed this information in order to understand the INFJ in my life. You have shown me through your videos that I let my guard down (as my own internal warning bell had told me before), and I let her get too close. But to be fair, she wiggled into my heart by herself...I was not looking for it or expecting it.
Thanks again for the videos.
holy sht.. this just blew my mind, thank you!!!
I am too emotionally self-conscious not to have a filter and boundaries; communication of that reality is poetry in motion. More compassion requires less ego.
"many people intimidating me to make me feel unconfortable, not me who intimidating them, they talk bad words about me to make me feel unconfortable even they are not mention my name i feel those bad words belongs to me.i have strong intuition that's why i know their real intention and motives towards me,they want me to become one of their member that's the real story after i studied their behaviour and and patterns i conclude this true and correct!"
My coworked messed with me a lot (he was a narcissist). I let him belittle me in front of managers while staying calm and politely asking him to change his language. A month later it was time to renew his contract, they didn't. Sometimes it's good to stay a few steps ahead.
Messing with INFJs is like playing with kites made of metal during a lightning storm in an open field.
I can totally read minds well pattern rec i pay close attention
Agree i make sure i keep th8s feature of myself up to par
OMG I know it's wrong but I laughed at this whole video because I am an INFJ and this is so so so accurate because so many times all of this stuff has come to light and now I'm just like YEAH I KNOW and you just sit back and watch it all 😂 I'm SUPER PROUD of all my INFJ qualities 🖤
I've been waiting for one like this. Thank you so much.
This scares me somewhat. Theres nothing ive heard out of this ladys mouth that isnt who i am as a person. Its crazy how accurate that test is, genuinely phenomenal.
3) martyrs I have found in my experience I get this very same reaction from people e.g. whether Im like an open book & not hide things about myself or dim my light to make others feel comfortable. I get the same reaction which is I can see them getting flustered before my very eyes often changing the subject or cutting the conversation short and literally running from me. I get this with people I know very well as well as people I first meet. I also get people trying to compete with me a lot especially at work amongst some people I barely even speak to or even know.im very respectful and kind to people so find it Very baffling & confusing I honestly dont know what it is. Thats why im mostly a loner & keep to myself.
I'm literally watching this as everyone else are ringing in the new year, because I haven't wanted to "rock the boat". I swear, this video is pumping me up like some kind of pre-game warm up. There's literally not a better time that I can think of,.... to start a new!
I'm not doing this $#!+ anymore. I'm tired of feeling responsible for someone else's happiness, bending over backwards to make them happy, only for them to just be upset about something else, and on and on.... life's too short for this $#!+, I'm not the cause of her unhappiness and I'm not responsible for fixing it, especially when she does literally nothing to work on herself, because none of our issues are ever about her.
I don't know how I didn't see these things before.
I mean, when I hear you say these things out loud, it's super obvious. But being in the relationship and never actually hearing about this stuff before, I guess I was just blind to it all.
Normally, I would have gone into the new year all down and sad because she's upset and asleep on the couch and I couldn't make New Years fun for her and blah blah blah....
But instead, I'm pumped and ready for the new year and I'm not doing whatever this $#!+ is anymore.
Seriously, I couldn't have seen this video at a better time.
Spot on as always!
well, I have a hard time when other people are talking about themselves and I ask them questions and we go deep and I reveal to them what they don't see and they just get confused about themselves and end up resenting me :(
Broo!😮 I thought it was just me!! I thought I'm weird. Or too intense... watching this video and reading these comments were really reassuring! ✊🏽
that's so informative. thx!
So helpful and enlightening! Thank you!
People have told me things like that. Comments about me being intimidating or scaring people. "Not messing with me". I never understand that....
You just need to know it’s there. You don’t have to understand it, nor should you ever apologize for it.
Another illuminating video, Wenzes. I would love to see you do some content on Dario Nardi's research on the sub-types: Dominant, Normalising, Creative and Harmonising. And now I'm getting really demanding... how the Enneagram types influence the INFJ. Thank you so much again.
#3 Why is it intimidating and triggering for others? I've got to find the why. If it was done for me, I would just say thank you and now it's your turn. That's the gracious and polite thing to do, is it not ?? It's not our problem, whoever is triggered or intimidated has an issue. Actually if you think about it, it is another gift toward (mental) health. I know if I am triggered or intimidated it's something I have to work on.
I just unintentionally called out my realtor friend's insecurities to him by just saying out loud what is obvious to me-- from the beginning of our friendship, I've had a growing impression of him acting in front of a camera.
But he has never acted or even thought about it.
I said it enough times that he said he and his girlfriend would take a class if they got the opportunity, basically blowing it off as insignificant.
Then, when he actually made a pass at me at their engagement party, I saw his truth and told him again that he would be a good actor. He's a suave, big-hearted Romeo, who just needs a bigger audience than a few people buying/selling a house. I told him if he simply did what he already does, but in front of a bigger audience, he would have so many women worshipping at his feet.
He laughed, he admitted, he was nervous and hasn't contacted me since, which isn't like him.
15:58 Listening to these feels like a return to myself. For the longest time, I would have conflicting feelings about some of these topics like being cold and unemotional at times. You are right though, it does allow for me to be more rational and in turn more kind.