Longterm - Sex Is Hard (NO pun intended..or maybe it is) feat. Kev On Stage and Mrs Kev On Stage
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- Опубліковано 9 лют 2025
- Does sex HAVE to get less passionate as time goes on in a relationship? Is it possible to keep that “can’t keep your hands off each other” feeling in a marriage? In this episode we explore these questions and share the depressing/ hopeful truth about the secret to good sex in a long relationship.
DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FULL EPISODES OF LOVERS AND FRIENDS? CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR UA-cam CHANNEL / @loversbyshan
Fun fact, falling in love is stressful on the body, but being in love is healthy for the body. When we are falling in love we experience an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, but studies show that when we develop an attachment to someone oxytocin can actually work to inhibit cortisol production and stress response. That’s why researchers say that true love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working.
So long story short maybe the loss of passion in our sex life as we know it, is not such a bad thing
Meet the guests of this episode!!!
Kevin Fredericks aka KevOn Stage is an actor, stand-up comedian, entrepreneur, podcast developer and host and filmmaker. Kevin is part of a generation of comedians who gained fame online and has accumulated hundreds of millions of views on social media. He is currently on his 3rd SOLD OUT national comedy tour and he is a New York Times bestselling author with his book Marriage Be Hard that he co-authored with his wife Melissa Fredericks who you might know on the internets as Mrs Kevon Stage.
Melissa hosts The Love Hour podcast and is best known for her betterment campaigns and advocacy for self-love.
Together, Kevin and Melissa provide a hilarious and fresh master class on what it takes to build and maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.
Follow KevOnStage:
/ kevonstage
/ kevonstage
kevonstage.com
Follow Kev’s streaming service:
Kevon Stage Studios
Follow Melissa aka Mrs.KevOnStage
/ mrskevonstage
/ mrskevonstage
www.mrskevonst...
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/ @loversbyshan
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Thank you for having us, Shan!
Thank you for being so open. You're really an inspiration.
I didn’t expect you guys to be so open. I enjoyed it and it was also helpful.
This setting, with your outfit, is such a vibe Liss!
You are so beautiful
Great show!!
This was a great time. Thank you for having us!
Great show!!
You guys were amazing, thank you for having come to Shan's podcast and letting us know about you!
This was so good, Kev.
Kev could you answer the 37:33 question Shan asked about"do you get turned on by the parenting version of eachother?" ?
Melissa's answer was so good, and it created an opportunity where y'all poured your wisdom into Shan. But I was curious as to your answer too!
Oh the pleasure was all mine!!
Always great to see a Christian couple talk candidly about sex👏🏾 So glad Kev & Melissa came on
@Joe-I agree I ❤ them period
Hearing Liss be so candid is WILD! Like who is this woman?!!! Cause Liss used to squirm a little bit at sex talk on camera. Love to see her stepping even more into her Light.
Yeah this ain’t even 2.0 Liss…..she DIFFERENT different! 😍🙌🏾🔥👏🏾❤️😩
…and she’s STILL a Proverbs 31 woman! 💪🏾 #AllTheThings
@@everythingalyb Im telling you!! I'm looking at my phone, like, who is this?!Liss was in command of her own story here. If anything, it's Kevin who was squimish with some questions.
Period! I’m here for her growth! HERE FOR IT!
Absolutely amazing to see her bloom
@@everythingalyb this is giving Liss 3.0! 🥰😎
These two worlds colliding is the collab I never knew I needed 🙌🏾
YES!!!!!!!💯
That part! 💯
That’s exactly what I said!!
They have a collab episode together on the Love Hour as well 🔥
RIGHT?? 😅
Shan I never knew this- but Christian folks need u to moderate these types of convos! You were so open minded… the convo felt so free and freeing for me ❤
So open minded and genuinely curious. This conversation had all the right ingredients.
YES!
“He over here lying on your podcast Shan.” 😂
I am so proud of Melissa! The transparency and vulnerability is on 1,000 especially knowing her journey. Kev too!
Great job!!!
Yo Kev face when Shan was telling her story about liking to watch others have sex was HILARIOUS😂 Kev wasn’t ready!
Watching Kev cringe talking about sex is hilariously ironic! The same man who wrote the renowned c00chie song squirms at the idea of afternoon sex in New York. 😂😂😂 I love these people so much!!! ❤️🎬
Lol thats a Taurus for ya😂we freaks in our comfort zone but prudish in public at times
"Lick me on the outside, lick me iiiiin..." 😂
@@oh_thats_netta2754 I never thought I’d hear that again, now it’s stuck in my head. 😩
@@TamiaPeach It's lived in my head since he sang it! 😂
@@oh_thats_netta2754 😂😂😂😂😂
Around 28-29min when Melissa reflects on the puritanical teachings for women in marriage. She then says Kev's reflection [on her taking charge] is empowering and affirming for her but still hearing that voice saying "girl chill".Phew this resonates so much. I'm not married but the ideology influencing her experience is so relevant. I feel like this is why Beyonce wrote church girl... Those lyrics say so much of this. Thank you for such a fun and insightful conversation. I love Kev and Melissa. 💞
Well said and I completely agree ✨
Yes that is so relevant. And that makes me sad because my research into to the Proverbs 31 woman makes me think of her as a boss.
As a woman who has been married for 14 years (together 18), I can 100% agree that the sex we have now is so much better than what we had in the beginning. That's a really BIG thing because we had AMAZING sex in the beginning ... like, butterflies in your tummy the next day, GREAT! There is something about KNOWING your partner and unwinding all their new desires while incorporating the old.
Speaking on the Kids bit: I LOVE watching my husband love on his children. Maybe it's because my childhood was so broken but that makes me love and want him more. Lean in to the things that remind you WHY you love him now and why you first loved him and the spark will still continue to burn bright. I don't care if my husband is just making sure I never touch a door or cutting grass ... imma reward him for that later because it speaks to how much he loves me and I love the way he loves me.
What a beautiful post. Thank you for that.
Unwinding their new desires is such a lovely poignant description
Kevin's explanation (around 28:00) about Melissa 2.0 actually being a RETURN to her pre-marriage powerful self was 💡!! The church needs to work on delivering the message that is possible for a Christian wife to be both empowered and submissive, assertive and yet catering to her husband. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Trying to reply back to everyone but huge thank you for all the love on this episode! Having Mr and Mrs Kevon Stage was a joy!
I met someone while dating who told me they don't enjoy having much sex and I thought I hit the lotto cause me too! 🤣I barely like being touched and so do they. These are important convos to have upfront. It's unconventional but our convos & bond is much deeper because of the less emphasis on sex.
I resonate with this so much. I'm like you but my husband is the opposite and always wants sex and wants to be touched. It's been a big issue in our marriage and we are in counseling b/c of it.
Interesting, I have friends who feel the same way but they have past tramas that plays a part into the why's.
@@nnedichristian6706 Some people just aren’t very sexual, although I’m sure that may be prominent in those with past traumas. I simply prefer an actual connection over a physical act that typically doesn’t mean much to men.
@@inyourdreams444 Why do you say that sex doesn't mean that much to men?
@@rejectionisprotection4448 Well, when you hear it on every podcast from men's mouths directly when the topic comes up and watch how they typically use women as sexual objects, it's not hard to come to this conclusion. When I do have sex, I value that moment therefore, I don't want to share it with someone who can do it freely with no emotion/feelings involved & become another "number" in their list. I've had men tell me personally that sex is just sex to them. I need a connection to even be turned on so that doesn't work for me.
33:22 Been asking for this from my husband for years. Sent this 2 min clip to him just yesterday and guess what....I was "serviced" and left alone to rest in my orgasmic-ness for the 1st time ever in 12 years 😢. The absolute best I have ever experienced. It's like staying sleep after yoga 🧘🏾♀️ the peace and tranquility. I am so gonna rock his world later!!! Thanks guys for letting me know I'm not the only one who want to feel good and just sit in it once in a while without having to immediately return the favor. This is gonna be my birthday present every year from now on!!!
The hand job to life insurance transition is crazy to me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 And did the OnStages admit to leaving their juices in the church van 😳 😅 DDDDDAAAAANNNNNNGGGGG 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I AM HERE FOR IT ALL 🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬
I love when Liss & Kev are laid back and open like this! So down to earth 💯🎬🎬🎬🎬
44:42 ALL OF THIS. The early sex is nothing compared to the sex several years deep into the marriage. The transition to parent hood and all the other life changes we go through - all while growing together, loving and serving one another. It's such a beautiful thing and I'm thankful to experience it with my best friend.
Such a good episode!!!
Awwww 🥹🥰
This is the fastest I ever clicked. All of my favorite Podcasters in one place. 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️🎉🎉🎉🎉 Stage Krew in the building!!!! Of course Shan I adore you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Stage Krew in the building!!! 🤘🏽🎬🎬🎬🎬
Same!
SAME!!
Indeed!! Stage Krew representing per usual🧡
🎬🦋🎬🦋🎬🦋🎬
SK! 🎬🎬🎬
I’m so happy your sponsor was life insurance, my grandma passed this year and I found out she had a Gerber policy in my name since I was 5yrs old- LIFESAVER that more of the black community needs to take serious. We shouldn’t have to gofundme for funerals when there’s life insurance! To add, my policy is only $12/mo 🥹 PLEASE GET LIFE INSURANCE EVERYONE ❤
I agree , my grandmother passed away a week ago. She had insurance on all us. I will continue the family values as well
Thank you for having Kevin and Melissa.
I love them!
Great episode! Seeing Kev and Liss here talking about the journey to liberation in the bedroom within marriage after being taught "sex is bad", is such a necessary conversation to have for the super religious community. Love it!
🦋🦋🦋🎬🎬🎬
To hear Liss and Kev be so candid was surprising. I loved this. 🎬🎬🎬
I love Kev but that button on his shirt is struggling 😫 😂😂🤣🤣
This was my absolute favourite episode thus far !!!!!!! Great job Shan and Kev and Melissa were amazing guests
This was so good!! I think the Ellises (Devale and Khadeen) would be great on this podcast too ❤
Yees!!!
Omg!!! Please 🙏 🙏 🙏 Bring them on..
Yessss💯
Good call. Jared and Shan did feature them in Shan's podcast about Khadeen not wanting sex as often as Devale.
I love to see married couples(brought up in the church) speak openly about their sex lives. Also being a church kid, we NEVER knew married couples had sex until children came. Lol
Shan, who is running your podcast bookings? The guests this season have been STELLAR!
“Now we have Phd in each other…” bars! Now that’s a goal to strive for in a relationship ♥️
Shan is a wonderful interviewer. This was unexpectedly insightful. I think because Kevin is a funny guy, I expected to just be entertained but I got that and much more.
These two were great! Their relationship is clearly so fun-loving and comfortable. And I really relate to Melissa's struggle with her real sexual desires competing against her conditioning of what a woman "should" be like.
I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this interview! Love Kev and Liss and how open they are about how their sex life has evolved. They seem to be in a great place right now and that is truly lovely to see.
This was beautiful 🥲 I love Shan’s intrigue, Liss’ openness and Kev’s hilarity as always. Y’all have been so instrumental in my sexual health/growth. Finding the right words/actions/ sentiments to express myself over the last 5+ years 🫂 thank you 🙌🏾💓
Never ever ever ever in a million years expected this collab!!! I love Liss and Kev and love Shan too! Can’t wait to watch!
Oh, so we're coming through with the switch up in the intro! Come on, Liss!!! Yes, make him do it 😂 Seriously though, thank you, Kev and Liss, for being so open and transparent throughout the years! Y'all are helping us and I know it hasn't been easy. {In my Tupac voice} You are appreciated! 🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬
He needs to honor his pledge/coupon book, and I'm gonna need a part 2.
@@musicneurons right! And it better not be 7 years 🤣
24:24 The most mature, insightful conversation of "blue balls" I've ever heard. Its just a patience thing?! Good to know.
I really enjoy seeing Kev and Liss speaking so freely. Not so conservative.😊💜 #SK 🎬🎬🎬🦋
🗣We in here!! 🎬🎬🎬 This was so good! It was almost too short! I could have listened to more of where this interview could have gone for hours! Amazing job!!
I appreciate hearing this informed and honest conversation about sex and marriage, particularly from a person in the relationship who did wait to get married to have sex, and the experiences surrounding learned behaviors and beliefs from religious influence versus finding your own footing with respect to them. 🎬🎬🎬
I love this!!! I didn’t even know you knew about each others’ worlds !! Such an unexpected interview but I love it! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Right!!!
They interviewed Shan on The Love Hour a couple years ago. I appreciate that they know how to add value to each others' platform while being mindful of their audience 😌
I love this so much. Melissa has really inspired me. I relate so much with the lady-like construct during sex. It's definitely a mental challenge to let go of it during sex, and if you don't manage to do it, having sex feels cold and detached. It's truly awful. Thank you for another amazing video.
Thank you!!! Being able to say No is powerful!!! I’m almost 40 with a 20yr old 6yr old and a 3yr old and I have just recently learned to say No!!! You are doing a wonderful job as juggling all hats and doing what is best for you and your family!!! That’s what’s important and it shall all fall in place in time!!! ❤❤❤
I’m intrigued. I thought the 7-year itch applies to 7 years of marriage. I’m ready to learn.
I never get over how stunning Melissa is. I love this couple. ❤️
This was really good. Surprised how open the conversation was, and how squirmish Kev can get about certain sex situations haha! 🎬🎬🎬
Shan, this episode was amazing. And I am so happy and proud you're giving yourself some slack with your commitments, because you deserve to rest and do things at your own pace, whatever that pace becomes. You're amazing!!
KEV AND LISS!!! 🎬🔥
Never would’ve thought I’d see you here!! Love Shan and it’s surreal to see y’all having this convo 🔥🔥🔥
Good talk. Shan, I just had my second baby at 42 this year after having a 9 year old. It will get better take your time, you will get your flow in time.
This is why I love this couple! The transparency is so needed regarding sex in mature relationships.
Literally my favorite podcasters in one room!! So excited to watch
LITERALLY 🥰
This was great!! The transparency is much appreciated!! The revelation of how most are wanting to get that old thang back is the complete opposite for y’all, is top tier! It really shines on what happens when you grow and learn each other throughout your relationship!! Thank you!!💜🎬🎬🎬🎬
No wayyyyy!!! 😭😭 Shan is feeding us!!!
Loved this episode so much!! Melissa and Kevin are so genuine and generous with their time and talents. They really are coming into their own as individuals and as a couple and I love to see it. 🎬🎬 and these stories have tickled me good! 😂
I love hearing that Melissa has a green where Kev has a yellow. The time has come!!
As a fellow Christian i so appreciate this. It opens up up the fact that we all have the same traumas n experiences concerning sex. I realize its conditioning to man of us. Its was engrained in so may of us which is not Christianity it was just "rules" disgusted as Godly.... Its so hard to overcome that n be free even when u really want it, the rules are always in the back of ur head even when u know they were toxic. Thank you!
This was an AMAZING interview. Intimacy in all ways in long-term relationships are definitely very worthy content to explore more deeply.
I loved watching Kev pay attention to Liss needs. He is ready to put in some work lol marriage can be fun, but it's work!!
loved seeing Kev and Liss discuss this side of their relationship 🎬🦋
The end message gave me such a beautiful peace within myself. Thank you for always being so transparent and honest with your feelings. I thought I was doing something extremely wrong with my life, my schedule, or just wrong overall. Not that you are God, but you are a voice that I cherish. Thank you 🙏🏽
LISTEN there must be a Part 2!! I feel like you guys only scratched the surface. Loved this episode 💞
This was such a good pod ! So good to see Mel and Kev be so open.....they are helping a lot of us "christian" married folks !!
Love the openness of Kev and Liss during this episode! 🎬
Absolutely loved this episode, Melissa & Kev are always a joy to have & their transparency is everything!!
My first time here! Lived it and its so nice to continually see the Fredericks on the other side ❤👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This was so good and insightful!!! I appreciate this conversation soooo much. As a person who's marriage ended at the 7 year mark, I'm a little envious that you all partners that are willing to understand and work through these issues. It also help that I was married to a narcissist. Keep up the good, and open dialog y'all. I appreciate it so much.
So glad you had kev and Melissa on! I love when some of my fav podcasters collide!!! Its always a good time!!!
Omg!!! Why? I never knew I needed this collaboration. My favorites 😍 💛 💓
Shan, you're an incredible interviewer. You’re thoughtful and your mind processes so quickly.
Great conversation, loved the host, very authentic. Kev & his wife is always real & transparent...
I truly can not get enough of this podcast!!! A sacred and emphatic YES!! Please keep them coming 🤓🤓🤓
The Onstages look freaking amazing! Great show!❤
Shan. YOU ARE SOOOO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO! You handled this conversation so well. LOve you girl!
Kev and Melissa brought me here 🎬🦋, but I am a new fan.
Shan is why I’m staying! I love your perspective and insight! This was a great interview
So happy to see Kev and Melissa here! Great interview 🎬🎬🎬
iconic crossover here!!! StageKrew checking innnnn
I love the freedom we have with talking about sex and life and how they integrate.
Love how Kev and Liss were relatable yet still confidently standing in their faith-based values from the past and present.
can i just say melissa & kev are GLOWING!!
Normalising christians speaking freely about sex and sex in marriage is so needed. Thank you for your willingness, your vulnerability and openness. This is so important, and we appreciate you all for stepping out in freedom:)
omg KevOnStage and Shan crossover i never expected but loved this!
Yay! I really do enjoy The Fredericks and this was a great topic for them to discuss! This is the 3rd episode I have watched of "Lovers and Friends" so I decided it was time to subscribe. Great episode Shan & team. Oh, and Jared, I don't think you're supposed to do ANYTHING for like a week or two after a vasectomy ... we're gonna pray that everything remained in tact, Amen. LMAO!
I never thought these people would be in a video together love it‼️
You know we came to support! #StageKrew 🎬🎬🎬🦋🦋🦋
As I man, I actually enjoy pleasing my woman and not expecting anything in return sometimes. Pleasing her turns me on. I love these conversations!
That was a really great episode! The Stages 😁 are awesome! Thanks for your honest sharing on this topic, Melissa and Kevin!
As a single young woman, I frikkin LOVE this insight .. thank you all
Can't believe you've been married for 4 years and that I've been following your channels and career since before you were with Jared. You inspire me, I'm in awe and extremely proud of your personal and professional growth Shan. Loved the episode and I appreciate that the podcast is on UA-cam now it makes it more accessible
This is the collab I didn't know I needed! 🎬🎬🎬
Essssssss Kaaaaaaayyyyyyeeeeee 🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🦋♥️ We in here!! Talk about the secks!! This is a durn good interview!!
Loved the episode. ❤️ Kev and Liss were great as always. 🎬🦋And having my 2nd son 9 months ago, I’m slowly accepting that this season requires less perfection and more presence.
#seasonoflessismore
Sex doesn't get less passionate inside a long-term marriage.....It becomes like anything else, you know that person's body & their love language so it's easier to read their mind and know what turns them on.
Im so excited they’re on this podcast/video!!!! MY FAVORITE UA-camRS !!!
Yessss I’ve been waiting for this as soon as I saw the notification from my podcast app 😍 love you all dearly😭🦋🎬👏🏾❤️🔥
This lighting is the best I’ve ever seen! I mean, the fact that I’m even noticing is amazing.
Love watching anything with Kev and Lis, this was good!
That was such a lovely podcast. Informations and opinions were so nicely put. Thank you.
I’m Here for ALL of this. The fear for me has been: after the initial fire and excitement, if it wanes will it return?But, the idea that my own self discovery in long term love and my confidence naming my sexual desires will be an asset and dope part of my sexual journey with my guy… like I needed that. Time doesn’t have to be an enemy to your sex life ! 🤯It was soooo important for me to hear. Love this eppie! More please.
Such a Great take on the 7-year itch! 🎬
Excellent! The transparency is pure gold! 🎬🎬🎬
This was amazing !!! Love them so much and you were and are phenomenal !