Everything is about control (possession) and they are dishonest (manipulate to their benefit), greedy (excessively selfish) and jealous (envious of the good in others).
The psychological abuse is unreal. I am a strong woman, woah....this definite tested my strength and now I know that I can't let my guard down ever again. These people are unbelievable! I'm having dreams about my ex consistently. They invade your subconscious! Thanks Dr. Carmen, you're always great to listen to!
In my 30 year “marriage “ to my ex narcissistic alcoholic husband it was as if I was a single mom raising my 4 kids None of it was a partnership and there was no co pilot I could ever rely on to help. Instead he did any and all tactics to sabotage and maligned my efforts for me to be a good caring loving mom and would make up lies to my kids, my friends, and his family about me smearing my name and completely turned our home into an oppressive stressful chaotic mess
The narcissist has to recognise that you are a team in a relationship , but how is that going to happen when you are the target , their greatest enemy that they spend hours looking for ways to undermine? what they are looking for is god and servant relationship , doesn't even matter if you are the one taking care of them.
This is 💯%. You explained my last 5 years Dr. Bryant. I was a fool and so stupid. I would frequently ask for the plan and I was told, "live by the moment", and "why must you put a time on everything?". He drove me nuts. I'm college educated and have rebuilt myself from my divorce when I met him. I should have known better. He talked a really amazing talk but the broken promises were too much. Can't be a ride or die when you don't know where you're riding to! 😂 God Bless! 💖
@@SunandSunflowers, I don't understand why they make promises they have no intention of keeping. I was fine by myself, I never needed him. I wanted a partner but never need. There was no point to lie to me. Finding a good person is hard.
@@LadybugPhil413I had my own also. Didnt need anything from him. with the one I was with he keeps you expecting it and you dont go anywhere cause you always looking for them to deliver . It drove me crazy
Xnarc noticed everything. He told me that he is extremely vigilant about noticing everything. And the years I spent with him it was an exchange of comments not a reciprocal conversation. Everything revolved around him. Everything was about him and in some way had to have something to gain from. As always, thanks for the good video. ♦️
I called myself foolish as well. But in all honesty we were not foolish. We were real. They deceived us by acting as if they were looking for a healthg relationship as well. It's all a facade unfortunately. They will have you spinning in circles. You were willing to be honest and vulnerable. Narcassist are not willing to do that. I feel as though they are the foolish ones. Because they rather be empty. Than to embrace and accept real love. It's sad really.
Two wonderful video's in one day,thankyou. Marriage is gods arrangement,and when that bond is broken,and the direction is off that marriage will fail completely.narcs wants to reap the benefits,without putting in any work. I have not given my whole soul.my soul belongs to god only,throughout my relationship I've managed to save something for myself. Never give everything,and you'll have the energy to do what you have to do for self. Yes knowledge is power and share with your children and educate them. Thanks dr.carman.
I wasn’t just married to my soon to be ex..his narc mommy dearest was a constant presence the entire 20yrs and it was the two of them who made goals and plans together that I had to agree with! That nasty old hag can’t even butt out of our divorce. Not sure which one I’m happier to be divorcing! Lol
I am still with him, thirty years of my best years. Just put it all together this year. Oh my God I am so shook. I’ve been a stay at home mom, and I’m aged. I hope I can escape because he has just about done me in. I’m going to figure it out. I have to or I will die. Thank you for supporting people like me who literally have no one else. My mother and sister both don’t seem to understand. I’m trying to find a group here in Dallas. I may just have to start one. Dr. Bryant, you and other angels on U tube are my only connection. This is completely devastating.
Thank you for helping so many of us find our strength. Your words are really helping me to shed light on my life. It's all about healing my children and myself. Narcs, take, take, and take until we cant give anymore. Gimme, gimme, gimme is their motto. Throwing my good after his bad made me nonexistent, and him the ability to conquer the world. Never again!
I had enough ! Nothing you do is good enough even when you tell them you called to say how was your day! Blocked and hopefully god willing for good ! And I feel good too. None of those stupid headaches and constant empty thoughts all filled with this loser. Pull my crap together and stop wasting my time with someone I cannot grow with. Thank you doctor 🙏
U laid it out right here!!!and I’m passing along this info to a lot my girlfriends u won’t believe some the things they tell me after learning all this I am able to help them thanks for spreading the word❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I recognize I was in one after 6months I was in this relationship all by myself.! All kinds of red flags he stated say I was lusting after him I was the devil.! I was taking the blamed for everything..he stated having sex with me on my side for 2 months than the sex cut of completing lying and cheating started a baby on me thank you for this channel.! A life saver.
All narcissistic ppl relationship I've been in wanted me to be like them! They didn't mirror me! They wanted me to be their minnie me! They all are horrible ppl! My husband says I'm toooo much man, but I'm ex-military like u! He knew I was a body builder & a strong lady mentally physically & spiritually! He had to realize GOD & the military raised me! I follow GOD 1st & my husband 2nd! Thank u Precious for this video!!!
Dr Bryant after years of studying these personalities I have come to wonder who is the real narcissists..is it them or us? I say this because during the seduction we literally fall in love with ourselves. My prayers of hope and a future go out to all of us. ❤❤❤
Ong!!! Mibe paid attention to EVERYTHING!!!! My nail polish color, my clothes, shoes, purse, he even notices that I needed a fill in one day on my nails!! Wow!! And to think that this turned me on at the time!! I thought it was SO wonderful that he noticed!! I thought that he was special....that he was a perfect giy!! He seemed to like everything about women!! My Lord!! He trully was a master manipulater!! A demon!
too true the narc I was involved with I see post discard now events from years ago that appeared at the moment weird, stuck out, now I see he was thinking I could steal this I could do this, he did not proceed in it not all of them. I remember now. The worst thing is that it's all covert. Devious shady but not intelligent at the same time.
Doctor, you are more than excellent. Thank you so much for every video & every word that comes out of your mouth regarding these types of people and how to deal with them and not deal with them,
I stopped the sex and moved him out the room, after he carried on snoring and I had lost my health and mind, 5 years later, has got worse and worse. Financially crippled me, has no direction, no decisions, talk on muffins when your house is crumbling, before you. Your waiting waiting asking pleading nothing absolutely nothing, and then he will show you a picture on his phone on a cute kitten, want to scream as you planned your conversation, what to say how to say it, and your talking about vision, working together, a partnership, but nothing, again he start talking about fixing the roof that has been like that for four years,chaos confusion. madness actually. Boundaries.
Wow, these videos helped me to let go. I had no idea what I was dealing with but I knew it was wrong. Two rounds with narcissist who escalated to threats that I should be afraid. I am out and seeing things for what they are. Finally, closing the door on a game I can’t win. Thank you.
These videos have helped me so much. I KNOW the situation I'm currently in, once the fog cleared after 13 years. Like an epiphany! Ding Ding Ding... I'm now wondering how to physically leave with 2 children while I am financially dependent of the abuser. I have been a homemaker for 13 years, putting my life on hold. The car is in his name so can easily take the keys away from me.
I agree with all the comments above to seek advice from professionals , you would be amazed at how strong you are when being strong is the only option. As someone that has lived through this , is not going to be an easy ride but stay focus and ride through the storm . Always remember they need you to function , you never needed them.
He may have the keys of your car but you now have the keys of your mind and the keys of your heart ! Lock him out and you will be strong to find the way and the means to leave ! You are not alone ! Best wishes to you and your kids
Wow, this whole time I thought he was so wonderful in the beginning- but now I see he was just mirroring and reflecting. So I fell in love... with me! Which means Im not missing him. I’m missing that mirror. Dang. He said such wonderful things and love bombed me in the beginning, but never followed through. I did give him everything of me. And I see now how vulnerable that made me. We were never a team. He would constantly threaten to leave me and would even begin packing, so I would break down and give up. He later told me he did that because he knew it meant he had control. I was so naive.
Dr Carmen Bryant , I would definitely pay for one on one sessions..with you.. I need to tell you my story .I live in California and currently, I am still in the same house with him ( husband Nar almost divorce ) in a nutshell ,I am a entrepreneur and one semester shy from my BA..my first marriage to someone of law enforcement ended due to me being arrested because because I threw a bowl from 99cent store....
Wow, you're advice is incredible, you're such an intellectual! There are so many videos about identifying a narcissists, but how about how to learn to stop being a narcissists?
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse that was a quick response, thank you! What could we do to help an individual that may potentially own that personality disorder?
Here is a question on escape. Should you pretend everything is ok while seeking help behind his/her back? Is it possible to be honest about being unhappy and wanting to leave?
I wouldn’t have that conversation with the narc! He would turn it against you and make YOU the problem. You will then get even more confused and start questioning your own reality ; GASLIGHTING! Plan your escape quietly
Please dr. Carmen I need help is there a phone number that I can talk to somebody I listen to all your videos but I need to talk to somebody please help me
Thank God I'm STD free I have send 1 year back and forward to be checked out.! He was heartless ghosted me and didn't look back and I'm glad.! He was jealous of me and I believe he's gay.
Virginia King I was given chlymydia as well when I found out I was pregnant. I tried to go to the doctor several times after I had unprotected sex with him and he told me I was crazy for thinking something was wrong with my body.
Virginia King my dumb ass stayed too at the time. That should have been my red flag to leave but I gave him a chance. I felt so low about myself for staying with someone after contracting an std ..
@@Healingarts939 thinking about that situation now, I never really received a heartfelt apology like a normal person would give. I'm shaking my head at myself.
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse Thanks ya I feel akward - as a guy thinking wow must be doing something right but . there seems to be more to it. cause well im always wrong.. just learning about how attachment wounds drive behavior . very interesting to me..
Everything is about control (possession) and they are dishonest (manipulate to their benefit), greedy (excessively selfish) and jealous (envious of the good in others).
Truth...💯💯🏃🏃🏃
Michael Hunter Best comment. 👍🏿⚘
Yes!
The psychological abuse is unreal. I am a strong woman, woah....this definite tested my strength and now I know that I can't let my guard down ever again. These people are unbelievable! I'm having dreams about my ex consistently. They invade your subconscious! Thanks Dr. Carmen, you're always great to listen to!
In my 30 year “marriage “ to my ex narcissistic alcoholic husband it was as if I was a single mom raising my 4 kids None of it was a partnership and there was no co pilot I could ever rely on to help. Instead he did any and all tactics to sabotage and maligned my efforts for me to be a good caring loving mom and would make up lies to my kids, my friends, and his family about me smearing my name and completely turned our home into an oppressive stressful chaotic mess
Sounds exactly like me now, how did you get out of the relationship.
The narcissist has to recognise that you are a team in a relationship , but how is that going to happen when you are the target , their greatest enemy that they spend hours looking for ways to undermine? what they are looking for is god and servant relationship , doesn't even matter if you are the one taking care of them.
Great point
This is 💯%. You explained my last 5 years Dr. Bryant. I was a fool and so stupid. I would frequently ask for the plan and I was told, "live by the moment", and "why must you put a time on everything?". He drove me nuts. I'm college educated and have rebuilt myself from my divorce when I met him. I should have known better. He talked a really amazing talk but the broken promises were too much. Can't be a ride or die when you don't know where you're riding to! 😂 God Bless! 💖
All the broken promises kept me spinning. Glad I am out and healed.
@@SunandSunflowers, I don't understand why they make promises they have no intention of keeping. I was fine by myself, I never needed him. I wanted a partner but never need. There was no point to lie to me. Finding a good person is hard.
@@LadybugPhil413I had my own also. Didnt need anything from him. with the one I was with he keeps you expecting it and you dont go anywhere cause you always looking for them to deliver . It drove me crazy
Lisa Jones OMG...same here
Xnarc noticed everything. He told me that he is extremely vigilant about noticing everything.
And the years I spent with him it was an exchange of comments not a reciprocal conversation.
Everything revolved around him.
Everything was about him and in some way had to have something to gain from.
As always, thanks for the good video. ♦️
You are so right, Dr Bryant! I gave my everything until i had nothing left for myself. I was really foolish. Thanks for this❤️
I called myself foolish as well. But in all honesty we were not foolish. We were real. They deceived us by acting as if they were looking for a healthg relationship as well. It's all a facade unfortunately. They will have you spinning in circles. You were willing to be honest and vulnerable. Narcassist are not willing to do that. I feel as though they are the foolish ones. Because they rather be empty. Than to embrace and accept real love. It's sad really.
Two wonderful video's in one day,thankyou. Marriage is gods arrangement,and when that bond is broken,and the direction is off that marriage will fail completely.narcs wants to reap the benefits,without putting in any work. I have not given my whole soul.my soul belongs to god only,throughout my relationship I've managed to save something for myself. Never give everything,and you'll have the energy to do what you have to do for self. Yes knowledge is power and share with your children and educate them. Thanks dr.carman.
Absolutely, the abuse was psychological
I wasn’t just married to my soon to be ex..his narc mommy dearest was a constant presence the entire 20yrs and it was the two of them who made goals and plans together that I had to agree with! That nasty old hag can’t even butt out of our divorce. Not sure which one I’m happier to be divorcing! Lol
I love how you empower individuals with the truth. I'm so glad God sent me to your channel, you're a blessing.
I am still with him, thirty years of my best years. Just put it all together this year. Oh my God I am so shook. I’ve been a stay at home mom, and I’m aged. I hope I can escape because he has just about done me in. I’m going to figure it out. I have to or I will die. Thank you for supporting people like me who literally have no one else. My mother and sister both don’t seem to understand. I’m trying to find a group here in Dallas. I may just have to start one. Dr. Bryant, you and other angels on U tube are my only connection. This is completely devastating.
I am in the exact situation as you. Like someone turned the lights on.
Exactly 💯💯 psycho narcissists are criminals!I agree teach the teenagers male and female from early 13 and beyond!
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
Yep its a 1 way street with these demons.....
Thank you for helping so many of us find our strength. Your words are really helping me to shed light on my life. It's all about healing my children and myself. Narcs, take, take, and take until we cant give anymore. Gimme, gimme, gimme is their motto. Throwing my good after his bad made me nonexistent, and him the ability to conquer the world. Never again!
Grab your children and🏃🏃🏃🏃 for your life and their lives!
@@Dtella55 I most certainly did. And did not go back
I had enough ! Nothing you do is good enough even when you tell them you called to say how was your day! Blocked and hopefully god willing for good ! And I feel good too. None of those stupid headaches and constant empty thoughts all filled with this loser. Pull my crap together and stop wasting my time with someone I cannot grow with. Thank you doctor 🙏
U laid it out right here!!!and I’m passing along this info to a lot my girlfriends u won’t believe some the things they tell me after learning all this I am able to help them thanks for spreading the word❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Totally agree never give your all
"we'll take the whole engine out!"...(I feel like shit over a situation...and this helped me..."she got no teeth at all...." Love this lady
I love this video! Thank you for saying not to give up sex early on in the relationship!
I recognize I was in one after 6months I was in this relationship all by myself.! All kinds of red flags he stated say I was lusting after him I was the devil.! I was taking the blamed for everything..he stated having sex with me on my side for 2 months than the sex cut of completing lying and cheating started a baby on me thank you for this channel.! A life saver.
Sending out love & positives...stay positive even if yet another narc crawls out of the woodwork and you feel surrounded.
All narcissistic ppl relationship I've been in wanted me to be like them! They didn't mirror me! They wanted me to be their minnie me! They all are horrible ppl! My husband says I'm toooo much man, but I'm ex-military like u! He knew I was a body builder & a strong lady mentally physically & spiritually! He had to realize GOD & the military raised me! I follow GOD 1st & my husband 2nd! Thank u Precious for this video!!!
I am hearing you loud and clear sister
Dr Bryant after years of studying these personalities I have come to wonder who is the real narcissists..is it them or us? I say this because during the seduction we literally fall in love with ourselves. My prayers of hope and a future go out to all of us. ❤❤❤
Doc is spittin straight game in this video 💯
That hair color looks great on you sis😘
You nail them to the wall🌷
You are looking great sis Carmen!
Ong!!! Mibe paid attention to EVERYTHING!!!! My nail polish color, my clothes, shoes, purse, he even notices that I needed a fill in one day on my nails!! Wow!! And to think that this turned me on at the time!! I thought it was SO wonderful that he noticed!! I thought that he was special....that he was a perfect giy!! He seemed to like everything about women!! My Lord!! He trully was a master manipulater!! A demon!
too true the narc I was involved with I see post discard now events from years ago that appeared at the moment weird, stuck out, now I see he was thinking I could steal this I could do this, he did not proceed in it not all of them. I remember now. The worst thing is that it's all covert. Devious shady but not intelligent at the same time.
Thanks for sharing this. Very eye-opening.
Doctor, you are more than excellent. Thank you so much for every video & every word that comes out of your mouth regarding these types of people and how to deal with them and not deal with them,
Man that was excellent!! Thank you so much.
I stopped the sex and moved him out the room, after he carried on snoring and I had lost my health and mind, 5 years later, has got worse and worse. Financially crippled me, has no direction, no decisions, talk on muffins when your house is crumbling, before you. Your waiting waiting asking pleading nothing absolutely nothing, and then he will show you a picture on his phone on a cute kitten, want to scream as you planned your conversation, what to say how to say it, and your talking about vision, working together, a partnership, but nothing, again he start talking about fixing the roof that has been like that for four years,chaos confusion. madness actually. Boundaries.
Sooo true my ex said you have to know how something works in order to control it
Wow, these videos helped me to let go. I had no idea what I was dealing with but I knew it was wrong. Two rounds with narcissist who escalated to threats that I should be afraid. I am out and seeing things for what they are. Finally, closing the door on a game I can’t win. Thank you.
Ex narricist just keeps comeing comeing different hoover iam done dicard him again no contact
These videos have helped me so much. I KNOW the situation I'm currently in, once the fog cleared after 13 years. Like an epiphany! Ding Ding Ding... I'm now wondering how to physically leave with 2 children while I am financially dependent of the abuser. I have been a homemaker for 13 years, putting my life on hold. The car is in his name so can easily take the keys away from me.
@@judyscheiber3661 Thank you
I agree with all the comments above to seek advice from professionals , you would be amazed at how strong you are when being strong is the only option. As someone that has lived through this , is not going to be an easy ride but stay focus and ride through the storm . Always remember they need you to function , you never needed them.
He may have the keys of your car but you now have the keys of your mind and the keys of your heart ! Lock him out and you will be strong to find the way and the means to leave ! You are not alone ! Best wishes to you and your kids
Thank you everyone
I left one like yours , you can too 🙏🏼
You are a trip... love this
I wish that my interior would have been mirrored instead of my exterior.
Amen Praise The Lord...
I love your work....and that accent! #StayBlessed
Brilliant as always sister!
Wow, this whole time I thought he was so wonderful in the beginning- but now I see he was just mirroring and reflecting. So I fell in love... with me! Which means Im not missing him. I’m missing that mirror. Dang. He said such wonderful things and love bombed me in the beginning, but never followed through. I did give him everything of me. And I see now how vulnerable that made me. We were never a team. He would constantly threaten to leave me and would even begin packing, so I would break down and give up. He later told me he did that because he knew it meant he had control. I was so naive.
Wow!!! Nailed it
You are So on Point!!! Thank you for this Great information!❤⚘
Good content. Really like the real delivery! Just came upon your channel and I’m diving right in! Thank you for putting this out there! 💛
Thank you for being here
Dr Carmen Bryant , I would definitely pay for one on one sessions..with you.. I need to tell you my story .I live in California and currently, I am still in the same house with him ( husband Nar almost divorce ) in a nutshell ,I am a entrepreneur and one semester shy from my BA..my first marriage to someone of law enforcement ended due to me being arrested because because I threw a bowl from 99cent store....
Omg...see thats what they do drive you insane to destroy your life but self control...
Thank u ma'am u always look good
Dr. Carmen, what if she’s good until she starts drinking and suddenly her covert narcissistic personality comes out
Wow, you're advice is incredible, you're such an intellectual! There are so many videos about identifying a narcissists, but how about how to learn to stop being a narcissists?
You can’t stop being a narcissist that is a permanent personality disorder
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse that was a quick response, thank you! What could we do to help an individual that may potentially own that personality disorder?
Educate yourself and protect you
Here is a question on escape. Should you pretend everything is ok while seeking help behind his/her back? Is it possible to be honest about being unhappy and wanting to leave?
live for me Do not tip your hand. It’s not possible to have an honest conversation with these people. Nor do they care about your happiness.
I wouldn’t have that conversation with the narc! He would turn it against you and make YOU the problem. You will then get even more confused and start questioning your own reality ; GASLIGHTING! Plan your escape quietly
Please dr. Carmen I need help is there a phone number that I can talk to somebody I listen to all your videos but I need to talk to somebody please help me
SAY THAT
Thank God I'm STD free I have send 1 year back and forward to be checked out.! He was heartless ghosted me and didn't look back and I'm glad.! He was jealous of me and I believe he's gay.
Unique same here..the bastard gave me a STD and is bisexual. I’m No contact and my health is improving.
I was given both chlamydia and gonorrhea at the same time. Thank god both curable but I was so ill, I can't even explain it in words. Yet I stayed
Virginia King I was given chlymydia as well when I found out I was pregnant. I tried to go to the doctor several times after I had unprotected sex with him and he told me I was crazy for thinking something was wrong with my body.
Virginia King my dumb ass stayed too at the time. That should have been my red flag to leave but I gave him a chance. I felt so low about myself for staying with someone after contracting an std ..
@@Healingarts939 thinking about that situation now, I never really received a heartfelt apology like a normal person would give. I'm shaking my head at myself.
Does that mean be like them hum
🙏
the women Im with or whatever you call it...I have never seen her cry... Is that normal?
Coming from someone who has suffered from past trama, I wouldn't cry infront of anyone because I had a wall up to protect myself.
@@Mothermoonartisansoap interesting . thank you:)
That is rather awkward
@@overcomingnarcissistabuse Thanks ya I feel akward - as a guy thinking wow must be doing something right but . there seems to be more to it. cause well im always wrong.. just learning about how attachment wounds drive behavior . very interesting to me..
nice nails !
👊🎉
💯😎❤️🎉