He's Not Meeting Your Needs? How to Tell Him What You Want | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat

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  • Опубліковано 20 січ 2016
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    Having the right words at the right time, especially when he's not meeting your needs, can mean the difference between a pushing him away or building a stronger, deeper relationship. In this video, I give you a simple 5-step formula for how to get your needs met with your man (without coming across as needy) that builds a connection with him.
    Please post a comment on this video... I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic!
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    Mat Boggs Bio:
    As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
    As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 556

  • @matboggs
    @matboggs  Рік тому

    Unlock the SECRET qualities men find irresistible with this FREE e-book: www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/relationship/mag/5-feminine-qualities

  • @AmaniEats
    @AmaniEats 7 років тому +270

    Testimony!!! This just worked like MAGIC. He agreed to my request without protest and with a kiss at the end!!! What kind of parrallel universe is this?!

    • @ShelleyG1014
      @ShelleyG1014 6 років тому +6

      Amani Murph you’re funny! And yes it works every time with everyone

    • @nicolemurphy2629
      @nicolemurphy2629 4 роки тому +10

      It is pathetic sad and pointless if you have to teach him how to behave

    • @davidgi3
      @davidgi3 3 роки тому +14

      Nicole Murphy no it’s not... most men aren’t mind readers and are not interested in reading minds.. just open your mouth, speak and say what you want.... this is real life, not a tv show

  • @avvninarayan6906
    @avvninarayan6906 2 роки тому +52

    Pointers:
    1) Prime the request you are going to be making by asking “Can I ask you for a favor?”
    2) Acknowledge the things he is doing by celebrating him by telling him what you love he’s doing well and continue with an “AND” instead of a “but”
    3) State what you want after the “AND” and then use the word “BECAUSE” with a reason behind it to get the desired result you want. You can even say “BECAUSE it would mean a lot to me.”
    4) Have respect in the interaction by asking,” Will you be willing to do that for me?” without sarcasm or condescending. Be open and vulnerable and sincere.
    5) Simply appreciate him for understanding your feedback.

    • @annemarierowe6967
      @annemarierowe6967 Рік тому +1

      This sounds like a real practice so that it doesn't sound fake all the time if I could have little cue cards it would be wonderful LOL but I do love the idea and going to try it😂

  • @xXxFlowerbombxXx
    @xXxFlowerbombxXx 7 років тому +440

    If I had a magic wand I would make this world a world in which women don' t have to shut out their emotions in order to be heard by a man.

    • @Sara-Bunz
      @Sara-Bunz 5 років тому +6

      Amen to that!

    • @shannont2524
      @shannont2524 5 років тому +16

      It's not shutting down your emotions. It's being a human being and working together. Men and women are different despite what the media yells you.

    • @deanna5941
      @deanna5941 4 роки тому +1

      YESSSS YES
      ANDDD
      YESSSS💃
      San B🧡

    • @Tish-99
      @Tish-99 4 роки тому +9

      San B It’s not shutting of your emotions it’s not misplacing your emotions. Asking someone to adjust their behavior isn’t an emotional issue.

    • @larissagonzales6075
      @larissagonzales6075 4 роки тому

      Same!

  • @jilliannoble3080
    @jilliannoble3080 7 років тому +33

    I clicked on this video with a negative mindset because I was upset with something my boyfriend has neglected to do, but after watching this, I feel a LOT better and more confident about how to communicate with him. Thank you!

  • @smitty4shizzles925
    @smitty4shizzles925 8 років тому +187

    To be honest, this type of advice comes down to one thing:
    grow-orientation. If your partner is growth-orientated, he will be
    thankful, and grateful for your interest in helping him improve as an
    individual. But if your partner starts doing things "just to make you
    happy" that means they just want you to stop complaining. And they'll
    only do it for your validation, they won't do it behind your back, or on their own
    because they don't care to change. That's my honest opinion.

    • @TheHouseOffice
      @TheHouseOffice 2 роки тому

      Amen

    • @nicktarver2551
      @nicktarver2551 2 роки тому +3

      It depends greatly on exactly what he is saying here, how she Is asking.
      Im very growth oriented, however when my girlfriend is unhappy with something she has a tendency to tell me what im doing wrong and what she wants me to do and I get very defensive. It makes me feel like she is my mother and I did something wrong, these simple tricks are game-changing for a woman to not make a man feel like less of a man.

  • @emptythepain
    @emptythepain 8 років тому +33

    Wow, 'but'' & 'and', big difference. Never would of thought of that. Definitely shows more appreciation for your partner! Thank you for sharing those points.

  • @liebe_.
    @liebe_. 7 років тому +136

    I am going to take this advice to practice it with my kids, to help them listen to me better. Why not? this could work in any relationship.

    • @GenXRated1
      @GenXRated1 5 років тому +8

      that makes sense because that's age appropriate. But these are grown ass men!

    • @silvias7319
      @silvias7319 5 років тому +1

      Lmao that’s funny

    • @Santu7220
      @Santu7220 4 роки тому

      @@GenXRated1 well you sound REALLY mature ;-)

  • @sOsOmega
    @sOsOmega 6 років тому +9

    Well, I tried being patient for over 6 months. I could not even state my needs until I just became tired of being 2nd fiddle & finally voiced my needs. I sent a nice text message & still received a response from yelling & screaming. In my case, it is all about him & 0% me. I ask to go to dinner, to a movie, to the museum - my response was NO or he has things to do. Everything had to be on his terms. So I ended it.

  • @bhoney785
    @bhoney785 5 років тому +20

    Gosh, I would Love it if my bf would be open to having more deep and meaningful conversations ! I've told him before I want him to engage with me to have those talks.. whether its spiritual or life experiences or whatever. He is a military man and is very reserved. I have a hard time with feeling like I am the one who has to drag stuff out from him and pull him to have in depth conversations naturally.. this is something I want to change 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @kautharedwards2272
    @kautharedwards2272 6 років тому +6

    I couldn't agree more with this video. I studied management and when I became a manager, I used this exact approach on my subordinates when providing them with feedback, coaching, etc. Makes them way more willing to agree or accept your feedback.
    Love this video.

  • @HeavenInsights
    @HeavenInsights 8 років тому +168

    seems tiring having to be careful of everything we say or how we say it ugh

    • @user-sv4vi2iw4g
      @user-sv4vi2iw4g 6 років тому +2

      Consultations with Heaven Insights amen

    • @megschultze6279
      @megschultze6279 6 років тому +16

      Yep, guys can leave our needs unmet, but we have to be careful how we tell them what they did to us. Huh! They can cheat on us, break our hearts, be selfish, uncaring, rude, mean or whatever, but if we aren't so super loving and supportive in how we tell the man how shitty he treats us, he might LEAVE, CHEAT or BOTH! "Oh, honey, my sweet sugary dumpling, when you used my car that your not on the insurance for and let's forget the fact you have no drivers license, to drive to your mistresses apartment to express your midlife crisis and you know I support you exploring your journey, dear, you left the emergency brake off and it rolled down the hill and into a lake and took out my grandma on its decent, but honey, its my fault, I should have put a sticky note on the emergency brake as a reminder for you, honey, I'm sorry I neglected that and oh, by the way, when you used my car, I had just purchased $1,000 of food and household goods which were in the trunk and our 2 beloved kids were in the back seat in their car seats, but I forgive you, honey, its all your drunkard narcissiatic mothers fault not yours, dear, oh and by the way, I had the STD test done before I got home and even though I am faithful to you, I have HIV, AIDS, and every STD known to man, but that's not your fault, those strippers and prostitutes you see should really get tested and use protection and take their STD meds and the only reason they are tempting is because the porn industry has gotten you totally addicted, also not your fault because they should know people who are trapped being hooked to addictive drugs, alcohol and smoking have reduced willpower. I blame technology, the internet and the media. Wait, what? What did I say wrong, honey, none of your problems are your fault." And he leaves and cheats. Yep! It's like that!

    • @kelseycornwall1835
      @kelseycornwall1835 6 років тому

      Meg Schültze New hurtbae?

    • @manin5082
      @manin5082 6 років тому

      I'm studying making your ex want you back and discovered a great website at wilfs text tactics (google it if you are interested)

    • @kentaroman87
      @kentaroman87 5 років тому +1

      @meg schultze well you're going out with the wrong type of men and you're entitled talking about all your unmet needs... you women grow more and more pathetic by the day.

  • @Summerbeeuty
    @Summerbeeuty 5 років тому +8

    This works for everyone for any relationship(start with praise, place the issue in the middle, place some positivity on top) you have just made a communication sandwich 🥪 yay 😀

  • @HopefulInterventions
    @HopefulInterventions 7 років тому +50

    Great advice. Priming is actually a perfect example of one of the behavior principals. As a behavior therapist, I implement the priming method all the time to prepare my clients for transitions.

  • @lenab.m.3708
    @lenab.m.3708 5 років тому +51

    This sugar coating "priming" gets me mad...i go directly to the point..if he can't stand it he is not my man

    • @arabchic7855
      @arabchic7855 4 роки тому +1

      Me too I lose patience and get exhausted

  • @alexandrastassen5733
    @alexandrastassen5733 3 роки тому +4

    I love getting feedback about myself in a relationship - it lets me know what I need to work on to make my partner, and me happy.

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom3832 7 років тому +18

    If you really like the guy then set up a standard for him to meet but don't give up too easy if your expectations wasn't met just let him know where and what part you get disappointed because there's no such thing as perfect relationship.

  • @4theluvofacurl
    @4theluvofacurl 7 років тому +64

    I like you Matt & sometimes your advice is spot on... but at other times I am completely exhausted by the long list of burping & petting & stroking that you give for communicating with men. 🤢

    • @Santu7220
      @Santu7220 4 роки тому +1

      Well, rewind the video, rinse your comment and repeat until complete... to meet your NEED.

    • @miznaturallyfierce
      @miznaturallyfierce 3 роки тому +2

      @4theluvofacurl "burping"now that was he he Larious!

    • @totalDfitness
      @totalDfitness 3 роки тому +2

      That’s what men need ... lots of stroking...

  • @cazdrazil
    @cazdrazil 4 роки тому +2

    You are a genius!! I have a long distance relationship that is starting up and I have been banging my head trying to figure out how to ask for what I want and also be a quality woman. This video and the Cool Girl Quality Woman video broke the dam! Thank you!

  • @loishotfudge
    @loishotfudge 8 років тому +5

    Great tips! Respectful and healthy communication :) My specific need that I'd like to have met is to be comforted and accepted by my man.

  • @anna10son
    @anna10son 6 років тому +4

    Hi Mat! I'm really fond of your channel, of your advice. I love your positive attitude! Like 12 hours ago I felt desperate, I thought I would brake up with my not-yet-boyfriend, and your advice helped me soooo much! I managed to communicate to him my needs without being aggressive or needy :-D I'm so thankful!

  • @hypnotherapistgurudebraann6013
    @hypnotherapistgurudebraann6013 6 років тому +1

    Words are magic. Matthew is right in the way that you speak your words and tone can create what you want. What you speak is what you create

  • @MatthewCoast
    @MatthewCoast 7 років тому

    Thank you for making this video! I appreciate all of the advice. Keep up the good work!

  • @Julie-fl5vc
    @Julie-fl5vc 8 років тому +30

    Mat, I can honestly say that you and Irene are an inspiration for me. I love hearing about your stories, and for having spoken to both of you, I can tell that the love and respect you have for each other is being spread to a much larger community. You two are a blessing to whoever meets you. :)

    • @devinewynter3736
      @devinewynter3736 7 років тому +2

      Mathew Boggs I am scared of feelings and getting hurt so that's why I am single. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

  • @curlmecrazi
    @curlmecrazi 5 років тому +1

    Hear a lot of these videos telling us women to celebrate and appreciate men with them having to do the very minimal yet receive the most praise

  • @stuntsaki
    @stuntsaki 5 років тому +4

    This was amazing!!! I was so upset earlier cause I was trying to figure out how to do this this video is the bomb! I’m gonna try this out

  • @ekayanichamberlin3966
    @ekayanichamberlin3966 8 років тому +54

    I appreciate this video Matt. It's all about respect. For the ladies who say men shouldn't be "coddled" you want tenderness but don't want to give it? Good luck with that!

    • @1Skorpia
      @1Skorpia 8 років тому +10

      I dont need to be coddled. thats for children. affectionate and tender yes.but when a "man" acts like a child I say dump him.

    • @Dmalone329
      @Dmalone329 4 роки тому +1

      @skorpia...So this is just a way for us as women to be affectionate and tender toward our men. We dont know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of unstable, accusatory, frustrated emotions. Just like they dont know what it feels like to receive some things from them. This isnt about perfection. Its about growth and give and take which is something all relationships need. So like my sis said above....Good luck on getting it to work without putting in the extra effort.

    • @larissagonzales6075
      @larissagonzales6075 4 роки тому +5

      @@Dmalone329 The man also must be putting in the same effort. Us learning how to speak and treat men. Women are always called complainers or nags when really we would like common sense things done.

    • @Dmalone329
      @Dmalone329 4 роки тому +1

      @@larissagonzales6075 common sense is not really that common Larissa. I know we'd like to think so but it's all based on perception.

    • @Dmalone329
      @Dmalone329 4 роки тому +1

      @@larissagonzales6075 that's why we can learn to communicate what we want. Our desires are nobody else's responsibility but out own.

  • @FarishaNadiaOfficial
    @FarishaNadiaOfficial 8 років тому +38

    If I had a magic wand, I would ask for my partner to be able to understand me. Communication is tough and it's like we are speaking different languages. I am trying my best to understand him but he is not doing his best to understand me and that is very frustrating.

    • @pilatesstudioandmore7615
      @pilatesstudioandmore7615 5 років тому

      Hey, no surprise!
      WE DO SPEAK DIFFERENT LANGUAGES!! That is a FACT
      It may be highly possible and probable that what is important to YOU is not important to HIM, and that my friend is ALSO speaking different languages, having different abilities (normal) and in essence being from a different planet and then some. Foundation is crucial, as well as how you respond to this frustration.
      Ladies CAN speak MALE, and if not likely that any man can speak or do FEMALE. Facts.

  • @analiapereyra8470
    @analiapereyra8470 8 років тому +1

    I like the video because when I ask for something I'm probably not considering the man´s point of view, even his willingness to listen. Of course politeness is important. And it's important to make of politeness a habit in our everyday conversations. The better the request, the better the answer. Thank you!

  • @godseed79
    @godseed79 7 років тому +5

    I love this! great tips and loved how you broke it down in a way that we can replicate it.

  • @teavetyskova
    @teavetyskova 3 роки тому +3

    I get what you are saying, but on the other hand, men never take such sensitive route to tell us what they need. They tend to be blunt, rarely ever considering out feelings. So, this approach is a little odd to me. But then again, I am pretty bad at communicating, so ...
    And in my case, my man would see right through this since he studied how to communicate with people if you want something from them.

  • @raddi98
    @raddi98 Рік тому

    This was such an eye-opening video, I've recently realised how little I know about communication with my partner, even more so about confronting him about an issue. Well, I have just used every step to let him know how I feel and the structure is so much better than the one I used to use. I really hope he will respond positively

  • @glittersparkle5148
    @glittersparkle5148 6 років тому +22

    all of this is true and it is super draining. women always have to dumb down in adult supposed interaction with another man. sicking. but to get him to do what we want, this is how you have to play the game or remain single. sad but true. the delivery with any conversation is the key. so if having to speak this way is more encouraging to get what we want, i see no harm in doing it. the object is how can i bring out the best in you to accomplish want i want done and being nasty about it dose not help at home, with family, friends, coworkers ect. . . anything!

    • @GenXRated1
      @GenXRated1 5 років тому +13

      the funniest thing about this whole thing is, men don't even speak this way to each other, and shit gets done...

    • @larissagonzales6075
      @larissagonzales6075 4 роки тому

      @@GenXRated1 True point.

    • @Nadehj
      @Nadehj 4 роки тому

      Larissa Gonzales wondering if that’s how moms behave. Dumb down and gf and wives now must continue with it.

    • @pc3140
      @pc3140 4 роки тому +3

      It’s not dumbing down! It’s called emotional intelligence... we’re human & we have feelings.... traumas n etc... it’s important to be mindful and gentle with handling people at times. We’re all children at the heart at the end of the day. Sharp criticism can really fuck with someone’s spirit.

  • @Laryanka
    @Laryanka 5 років тому +9

    I totally agree with this, AND that kind of communication should be used by both parties. 😉

  • @edithjacob5115
    @edithjacob5115 4 роки тому +1

    Great tip I will use it! Thank you so much!

  • @lizsalazar77
    @lizsalazar77 7 років тому

    Thank you!! I'm definitely going to try this.

  • @tanjavasic6977
    @tanjavasic6977 7 років тому +1

    Hello Mat. You are so grait and helpfull. Thanks a lot! Keep on doing it.

  • @lorilewter1404
    @lorilewter1404 3 роки тому

    We all have egos and this is just a way to get around waking that beast. Thank you for the helpful tips!

  • @sassygirl7817
    @sassygirl7817 5 років тому +1

    Thank you so much for the tips. I think this will work for the problems that I’ve been having in my relationship. I feel like I’m hitting my head against the wall. So I’m going to try these tips out

  • @lorarooks5515
    @lorarooks5515 7 років тому

    I really loved this, and it actually helps me when approaching male students too. I think this would be equally helpful to asking for something from a woman also, but perhaps for different reasons.

  • @levelupbookclub
    @levelupbookclub 4 роки тому

    Thank you for this! This was just the advice I needed

  • @tatica822
    @tatica822 8 років тому

    you're awesome, I'm not even in a relationship, but I appreciate these videos

  • @crystalsavescash3768
    @crystalsavescash3768 8 років тому

    I've really taken a liken to your video's and advice. I am totally going to try this out today!

  • @nohahassan8265
    @nohahassan8265 8 років тому

    thank uuu so much it's really a very good level of communication and respect

  • @BrandiEckert
    @BrandiEckert 8 років тому

    My husband is a great partner, parent & friend and I love our "attentive" interactions, when I know that he is fully present in the moment with me. iPads, phones and tv's be damned, for that 10 to 20 minutes of "focused in the here & now, conversation" to be guarded and preserved as priority, says even louder, "I SEE YOU & YOU MATTER TO ME - WE MATTER TO ME". On days when that connection has been made, I feel heard, safe, and content. I feel understood & nurtured somehow; as if we are energetically on the same wave length and figuratively on the same page, and we both know it and value it. That few minutes of laser focus, while letting all other things blur into the background, brings me great peace and security within my self and our relationship. That mutual presence for each other, is so very powerful. ~♡~

  • @christina2311
    @christina2311 5 років тому +12

    Men definitely respond well to this. 10/10. Men want to feel loved and taken care of too. It's not coddling, it's being kind.

  • @brianhoneycutt5938
    @brianhoneycutt5938 3 роки тому

    Would love hwr to ask more follow up questions about what i share, what ive been up to. More summarizing or validating. Im a therapist with a history of neglect as a kid so these sort of things really stand out to me. Good vid thanks

  • @marivicmaderazo7061
    @marivicmaderazo7061 6 років тому +27

    How can we get our man to take initiative such as getting the ac fixed, getting the trash out, setting a romantic date, telling us when they're gonna be out from work, without us having to tell them?

    • @mchtaiki
      @mchtaiki 5 років тому +3

      i am there with you

    • @sal4538
      @sal4538 3 роки тому

      I hate lazy guys

    • @alissonangarita6809
      @alissonangarita6809 3 роки тому +1

      Maybe for the first two you could implement the video and really make sure you show appreciation and for the third and fourth you could start yourself like romantic surprises and that might motivate him to do it too also, you could address the communication by asking him about his day and when perhaps you guys could have dinner together but I suggest try succeeding at the first 3 before addressing communication so that he is aware good changes are happening.

  • @168nena
    @168nena Рік тому

    I have been following and listening to you for about a month now and I wanted to tell you that it is so helpful in relationships, thank you, Anne from La Rochelle on the sea side in France 🇫🇷😉

  • @tamiramaker9457
    @tamiramaker9457 8 років тому +2

    Wow, this couldn't come at a more perfect time. My boyfriend and my 2 year anniversary of the day we met is today. He is out of town and I wanted to fly to where he was working and have dinner with him. To make a long story, short, it didn't work out and I have been very upset this week. So I've been trying to figure out a way to discuss this with him. I wrote down the 5 points and this is what I came up with.
    1. Babe, I wanted to ask you a favor,
    2. I really appreciate that you do so many nice things for me and express yourself through your actions because it means a lot to me
    AND
    3. I would really like it if we cannot get together for special occasions (like birthdays or anniversaries) because you are out of town for work, that when you let me know that we can't get together on that day, that you will tell me that we can get together to celebrate when you get back into town and pick a day that will work for your schedule because it would really mean a lot to me and it would show me that you care about me and things that are important to me.
    4. Is that something that you would considering doing, should this come up again?
    5. Thank you so much for caring about me and what is important to me.
    Any advise on delivery?

  • @7eloua
    @7eloua 8 років тому +26

    I understand what you're saying AND I find it a little bit too long of a way to ask a simple question. All those sentences just for that simple thing to do or ask. I think that after a while her man will figure out that whenever she begins to talk to him in that way, that she surely wants him to do something. He might see a pattern and maybe it will make him feel like she's smooth talking him into doing something he doesn't feel like it.

    • @Santu7220
      @Santu7220 4 роки тому +2

      Some attention and using even things like this show that you really care. It goes a long way, it´s part of foreplay. Also, remember, there is a lot of explanation around the statement Ireen is making.

  • @kimshafer8141
    @kimshafer8141 8 років тому

    Needed this....I try so hard to talk nice to get things done but I guess I can come off in a way I'm not trying to be so this is a good one thanks so much keep the videos coming!!!!

  • @DM-jn3mb
    @DM-jn3mb 8 років тому

    This is spot on. Respectful and smart way to get what you want or need. And always showing gratitude.
    WAND: I would love it if when you are emotional as a woman, a man does not somehow take that as a subtraction from how smart you are.

  • @Fcacamposs
    @Fcacamposs Рік тому

    This is gold ! Really wondering how to bring a romantic gesture for Valentine’s 😂 now I have the step by step formula ! Loved it ❤

  • @tooshay9908
    @tooshay9908 8 років тому +1

    Thanks! This helped me a lot

  • @caroline_alonzo_santos
    @caroline_alonzo_santos 8 років тому

    Love this video...Thank you for sharing!!!

  • @higherselftarot4304
    @higherselftarot4304 Рік тому

    Great video, catch them when they are good always works, celebrate them and ask wisely

  • @deborameshack4274
    @deborameshack4274 6 років тому

    Thank you so much for the video it's so helpful

  • @DeliciaTrini
    @DeliciaTrini 6 років тому

    Lol! Loved your sarcastic "Do you think you can do that for me?", Lamo!

  • @uncouthgirly
    @uncouthgirly 4 роки тому +4

    When I send a text with a specific question or statement, it would be nice if the man in my life would respond directly to the question or statement, rather than evading it or ignoring it.

  • @lotsoflove557
    @lotsoflove557 7 місяців тому

    Thank you so much Sir. God Bless You.

  • @carolyn8769
    @carolyn8769 7 років тому +4

    Hi Mat, with the high amount of single parents out there I am interested in exploring how to go about developing a relationship and dealing with their issues of previous failed relationships? I know it's a big issue but kids bring a whole other level into your life when you're trying to build a new relationship. Love you videos!!!

    • @Santu7220
      @Santu7220 4 роки тому

      "Love your videos" is a great start. Asking for help is great, too. Short sentences go a long way.

  • @sk4swatikapoor
    @sk4swatikapoor 8 років тому

    this is a brilliant video. thank u.

  • @sweetsue4204
    @sweetsue4204 4 роки тому +6

    Oh Mat, I’ve trained myself to meet all my needs. 😄 With him it’s all wanting. Lol! I want more time with him, that’s about it. I’ve learned to script it and wait for the universe to get the timing right, and that seems to be going well. My secret appears to be living in a state of joyful expectation.

  • @TriviaTimeQuestionsAndAnswers
    @TriviaTimeQuestionsAndAnswers 6 років тому +1

    Gold. Thank you!

  • @user-ju3mt4et6s
    @user-ju3mt4et6s 6 років тому

    GREAT GREAT advice, especially for someone like me who feels it so difficult to ask anyone anything that I want😂😂 Thanks!

  • @MylieMooz
    @MylieMooz 8 років тому

    Oh my goodness only saw this now! (After being away from Internet for a while) thanks so much Mathew! This advice is amazing! You hit the nail on the head. Thank you! If I could wave a magic wand - I would like for my partner to be more family orientated :)

  • @sapphirestone3371
    @sapphirestone3371 7 років тому +5

    I love this advise!

  • @paperheartzzz
    @paperheartzzz 8 років тому

    Matt, This is AMAZING. Thank you!Question - what if he says no? What is the next step?

  • @cynthianichols4851
    @cynthianichols4851 2 роки тому

    You have a very smart wife and thank you tons for sharing! Great method and I'll pass this on to my daughters, too. Plus, I'll use it with them 😊

  • @ameliedorm4203
    @ameliedorm4203 2 роки тому

    I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life!!!
    Thank you sooo much for teaching this!!!
    …They should teach techniques like this in school instead of things u never need and use again in life -.-‘

  • @casual720
    @casual720 4 роки тому

    This is gold.

  • @asiatic_lily_kitty4819
    @asiatic_lily_kitty4819 3 роки тому

    Thank you, I really want him to be more romantic, in his own way

  • @CherylMuir
    @CherylMuir 3 роки тому +2

    If you're reading this - you are so, so worthy of love ❤️❤️❤️

  • @tanlight45
    @tanlight45 5 років тому +1

    I LOVE when my hubby is just honest with me. And can tell me his needs. Work on them together💝🐒💝 No go to bed angry with each other. Not good4 the soul. 🐰🐱🐰

  • @cjd5255
    @cjd5255 6 років тому +2

    I know u have to basically spell it out for men and be very blatant on how u feel. I just had an experience. And I let him know how his non-actions made me feel. I couldn't be anymore blatant. I have noticed a positive change and effort. Which makes me feel his action meets his feelings.

    • @nancyann3544
      @nancyann3544 5 років тому

      CJ D lol at least your man seems to be making a change. I end up being very outspoken about how his not doing things makes me feel and get the entire thing turned around onto me saying it’s me this or me that and him saying how he pays all the bills and just everything thrown in my face!! He says he loves me ohh soo much wants to marry me and all that we have a family together and yes he’s been there for me for a lot of shit but when it comes to taken care of the house and cleaning up after himself and so forth he acts like a child!! I feel like I’m taking care of an adult child at this point I can’t take it anymore!! I just wanna feel loved and respected is that too much to ask for?!

  • @Fatimaaa77
    @Fatimaaa77 3 роки тому +2

    I feel it shouldn't be this complicated. I appreciate your advice a lot... just don't understand why there are so many steps! Why are men so sensitive omg

  • @bellagold56
    @bellagold56 3 роки тому

    i love your videos becuse they are short and you talk very good

  • @kellyquittenton
    @kellyquittenton 7 років тому +2

    Thanks for this video! It's great! Do you recommend this same approach to someone that you are newly dating? Also, to answer your question at the end of the video, my need would be honest communication. How do you inspire someone to communicate openly and honest instead of general comments to remain neutral? Thanks much

  • @studentanjaneya
    @studentanjaneya 8 років тому

    Very well explained 😊

  • @michelecosta1624
    @michelecosta1624 8 років тому +3

    Hey Matt, great advice. I have a question though: I guess for this process you suggested to be sucessful it takes a good man. A man who wants to cooperate, to make an effort to make his partner happy instead of assuming he is done so much, his wife should be satisfied already. A man who is willing to learn, who is willing to do better. AM I right?

  • @SarahAveryt
    @SarahAveryt 8 років тому

    Q: When a guy is asking you out and start giving you option of different restaurant and places to go, does he really want us to pick a place or should we let him choose?

  • @angravalesca7390
    @angravalesca7390 7 років тому

    Good afternoon from Brazil!
    I love your tips about relationship. It makes me clear up my mind to the obvious that we rarely learn thorugh time (no one likes criticism or sarcasm...everybody likes to reach a goal and get better...you cant do that with irony or anything that puts you away from that goal. This is so clear and we still dont )
    Im in an important situation in my life with a guy and i would like to know if you can do particular coaching for me through skype!
    Thank you!

  • @yancie9075
    @yancie9075 8 років тому +1

    Mat have you thought of doing a podcast ?
    I think it would be great !!

  • @kele1
    @kele1 8 років тому +2

    on the other hand if someone would say this in such "careful" way i would feel bit angry that they apparently think that I'm incapable or with some special needs...i prefer direct way.

  • @jessicasaunders1936
    @jessicasaunders1936 3 роки тому +3

    Thankyou Mathew, this was super helpful! I have a bit of a difficult situation at the moment with a boyfriend from a different cultural background, meaning his parents have a very different set of rules for how this relationship should play out to what I am used to. It's hard trying to adjust but at the same time I don't want to end it because I feel that the good definitely out-weighs the bad, but I do need to know how to navigate our relationship for us and not for his parents - if that makes sense. It all feels a little out of our control, so I just want to know how it can still feel like this is ours…

    • @Flutterby406
      @Flutterby406 2 роки тому +2

      I would suggest that you sit him down and tell him to talk to his parents a d tell them to stay out of your guys' relationship because you are not dating 3 people

    • @MaryTheresa1986
      @MaryTheresa1986 Рік тому

      How is everything going? Are you two still together?

  • @kristaljoycuencaborres6449
    @kristaljoycuencaborres6449 4 роки тому

    Best advice... thank you math

  • @hubrismaxim
    @hubrismaxim 5 років тому +4

    This is known as a "Shit Sandwich" in managerial training. It's pretty much what you shouldn't do. Unless your partner has 0 EQ, you will come off super manipulative. Open and honest communication is better. Unless you think your partner is less important than your employee.

  • @lenalingreen7596
    @lenalingreen7596 4 роки тому

    Thank you. Good advice

  • @heatherparent3156
    @heatherparent3156 7 років тому

    great video Matt!

  • @tdub0586
    @tdub0586 5 років тому

    Magic wand- More quality time, make me feel like number one.

  • @morbidmutilator7987
    @morbidmutilator7987 5 років тому

    Beautiful strategy. I've been asking my boyfriend of 12 years to give me more affection, but hes a single child and doesnt know how to. When he does it feels like I'm being aggressively smothered. If that makes sense. I have had no luck all these years. I feel really neglected even though thats not the case. Instead, I practice self love and try to make myself happy instead of trying to find love from other guys. It's so challenging, but that's how much I love him.

  • @GenXRated1
    @GenXRated1 5 років тому +2

    My eyes could not be rolling any harder. Funny how they think we are the emotional, sensitive, and unreasonable sex.

  • @nordette
    @nordette 4 роки тому +1

    Lol came here cuz I want him to buy me a chanel bag for my birthday 🤣 I wonder if this same technique will work🤔

  • @eleeth4271
    @eleeth4271 7 років тому +1

    yey go Mrs boggs! love it. x

  • @pause705
    @pause705 8 років тому

    very helpful...thnx ☺

  • @rashelleplanck858
    @rashelleplanck858 6 років тому +1

    To spend more time with me and our children. I just wrote down everything you said lol

  • @anor33
    @anor33 8 років тому +26

    And what do you do 2 weeks after this conversation and the thing still isn't happening?

    • @adobney720
      @adobney720 4 роки тому +7

      That's what I need here lol

    • @ladyinred9656
      @ladyinred9656 3 роки тому +1

      Then get a side dude like I did because my nigga sucks in bed

  • @arianasilesia2500
    @arianasilesia2500 8 років тому +235

    I will truly never understand this. it makes me feel that men need to be codled and treated with so much special care. I don't know how people can have time for this when we have so many responsibilities to take care of each day I just couldn't see myself having to go in such a round about way. we are adults after all we should be able to communicate directly. honey can u please turn the toilet seat down all the way because the baby is going in there and putting her hands in the toilet. use a sweet tone when saying it. thank you honey love you.

    • @Sandra-yx6yp
      @Sandra-yx6yp 8 років тому +23

      +ziandra zadora you COULD NOT BE MORE RIGHT! If I ran into a man that needed that much coddling and was that DELICATE emotionally, it would completely turn me off. You would have to walk on egg shells all the time! Kindly asking to plz put the seat down, so baby doesnt put her hands in the toilet, thank you darling, should be fine for any adult.

    • @arianasilesia2500
      @arianasilesia2500 8 років тому +14

      +Sandra lol I'm glad we are on the same page. it is unfortunate but it seems most relationship video advice is based on women needing to codle men if they want to keep them. what era are we living in ? it looks as though we have not progressed at all. every time I watch a video on relationships and dating I feel like I'm missing something ? and shake my head I mean is this really real ? are women in this day and age still having to grovel ?

    • @MyCynner
      @MyCynner 8 років тому +21

      +ziandra zadora Nice to see I'm not the only one that thought this advice was off-putting. Sure, I get that men like to feel needed but seriously…to have to lay down that much preamble for his ego surrounding merely a toilet seat is something I'm not prepared to do. Saying please and thank you? Of course. …but complementing him and remembering to filter my wording so I'm not saying "but" seems like a script I have to memorize for a play I have to act in.

    • @arianasilesia2500
      @arianasilesia2500 8 років тому

      +Cynthia Pomerleau The Packaging Girl 😊

    • @irene6938
      @irene6938 8 років тому +8

      I have to agree with you no one has time for this really

  • @christineming4558
    @christineming4558 7 років тому +4

    Thankyou so much for edjucating me! Could you plesae if you get a minute, elaborate on respect? I learned respect is vital to a man. I was brought up with false ideas about men. I need to be reedjucated about how to be respectful of my husband. Many times I feel he is unworthy of my respect. I strive to show him respect...but I screw it up all the time. I need this information. And also...the importance of vunerability.