My best mate has much more ov a high flying career than I do, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - I'm always happy for the promotions and advances she's made, she's worked hard for them. Her husband is also at the top of his game, both have a pretty good income. They decided to treat themselves to a couple of really nice watches (he'd been lusting after one for as long as I've known him), they got comments mainly from family wondering why they were spending so much money on a watch. A few years ago, my mate decided she wasn't going any further in her job and got herself a better job in a different section of the company, partly based in the town she lives in, partly based in a big city in the neighbouring country. Again, there were comments from her family (my only thought was if the travelling was sustainable long term, but other than that I was really happy for her. I never voiced my concerns as I knew it was what she wanted. My worries were unfounded, and that's great). She since been promoted, again same type of comments. Some of it is undoubtedly envy, but some possibly isn't. It comes across as wanting to put others down by one person in particular. This person makes it obvious, at family gatherings that he's there under sufferance, it's like there's a bad smell under his nose. The only reason he might be envious is that my mate got there under her own steam while he got there because his father started the business, and he's the one who has to take over.
yes, the world is full of hypocrites. and envy. that's why it's important to have both money and spirituality in balance and stay away from people who show signs of envy and hypocrisy.
That is so true. I have had chronic fatigue syndrome for many years and early on there were people in my life who just would not understand what I was going through. I was constantly asked why I wasn’t better yet as if I was doing it for my own amusement, or I was also told it was in my head and to get over it. I figured out that what it came down to was that I was inconveniencing them and they had to go. Life has been a lot easier since I detoxed those people and concentrated on looking after myself and keeping my friends who are understanding and supportive.
I have this problem with my family members. I am single, childfree, and in my 40s. I am the only female on both sides of my family who does not have children. I have 2 master's degrees and I am almost finished with my doctorate degree. I get comments and jealous behaviors from both sides. One person said, you don't even at least want a pet. On the otherside, I had a family member who had a meltdown when she found out I was working on my doctorate degree. Growing up people would call me stupid and they didn't expect much from me. Once I was playing a game with so called friends and I got paired with someone and they said they didn't want me on their team because I was stupid. While everyone spent time on relationships and raising children I spent that time on my career and education. I own my own house, drive a sports car, and have my advanced education.
Picture the envious glances directed my way: good taste in designs, married, two children, a successful career, a doctorate, a spacious house, and a supportive partner. I am afraid of even leaving a comment here. I’ll admit, it was 70% hard work and 30% luck. Yet, today, my entire day revolves around apologizing for things I never did or misunderstandings. Saying sorry is simpler than causing further upset. I’m expected to love my children but avoid discussing them openly, to assert authority without being labeled as bossy. Sometimes, we find fulfillment in other aspects of work, and quitting would be a shame. Instead, l often take the high road, allow others to get what they need, apologize for any discomfort caused, and move forward. I lead my team with courage, vulnerability and sincerity. Tough road ahead in my career, but I won't quit.
@@Pinkbear20 it’s called jealousy. It’s in everyone’s gene. I ignore people who are not worth my time and I don’t feel like I owe anyone any explanation why I am where I am, and they are not. We are living in different world, and chasing different goals.
When I got my first well paying job I lost my “best friend”. I took her out on an expensive birthday dinner (hers), she asked me about my salary. I hesitated but told myself that she was my friend and she would be happy for me. As soon as I saw the look on her face, I knew she wasn’t my friend any more. I found better friends.
@@SophieShohetOfficial I’m not. Replaced one toxic friend with many genuine ones. On the long run, it was a happy outcome. Thanks for sharing your experiences in the video. 😃
A family friend was jealous of me simply because I had my own business. I wasn't even making much money from my business at the time. A few years later, she asked me to provide career services to her relative who was having a hard time finding a job, and I did. When he got a job through my career service within only a few months, instead of thanking me, she started hating on me. It was strange.
I worked 7 days a week for about a year to buy myself a designer bag. I was so proud of it and I was in work one day and a co-worker asked if it was fake! I quickly told her the only thing I ever fake is my tan! Fashion comes and goes style and humour last forever.
I worked at a small company in my 20s and the owner was my boss. He was quite wealthy and loved to flaunt it in ways that turned people off. BUT he also liked it when his employees had and wore nice things. He viewed it as a flex. “See how good my employees have it? That’s bc the company is so successful that I can afford to pay them well enough that they can afford it.” He was a very thoughtful guy and did pay well bc he cared about us and that we be able to support our families. I mean, not crazy pay but above average for the industry. He was generous with gifts at the holidays and loved sharing what he had. He was a fun guy, obnoxious quirks as all.
Sorry, but this seems a little too optimistic to me (and I speak from personal experience). It's certainly good to get rid of toxic people, but let's not tell ourselves that this opens the doors to wonderful encounters. The doors just close, nothing good happened to me after that. Sorry for the bitter tone, but it's (my) reality.
The truly saddest part is when siblings and close family cannot be happy for you and judge you. I’ve seen siblings fall out so many time because of the success of one and not the other. Great video and lesson for all of us.
I grew up extremely poor in Appalachia, my family had no wealth or money, and I lost weight, set out to become a producer, and acheived success in both weight loss and my career, and mind you this has been a thing for about 7 years now and I still have people from my hometown badmouthing me for just existing and doing better for myself. It makes me sad because I've known these people since I was a baby, but honestly I pity them now because if they just worked really hard and found what they are good at, they'd be able to get out too.
I understand that problem only too well. A lot of people don’t like it when you work hard, level up and better yourself. It’s a continuation of the old 19th century saying, “you’re getting above yourself my girl.” I used to get it too, especially from some extended family members. It’s not you, it’s them. They could get off their arses and level up too but it’s easier to envy others for doing it instead. Take no notice of them and keep on your path. Your life can only get better.
TRUE! I lost over 200 pounds and dramatically improved my fitness, my health and my mental attitude at the cost of many friendships. You would think that friends would be happy that you escaped the grim reaper; but no, they feel inadequate. They act like I'm not in hot pursuit of health but I'm aiming instead to make them look bad. I agree100% -move on. In my case, it was uncomfortable enough that I moved to a new city which helped considerably. Love your content, Sophie -keep up the good work!
I used to be a hater, then discovered my self worth and now, catch it when I feel envious of others and remind myself of all the wonderful things I have, have accomplished and the genuine connections I have. There truly is enough for everyone. Just because someone has achieved more than me in some area, doesn't mean they are better than me. It just means we are different. I am genuinely grateful that I don't feel inadequate any more. PS You are adorable and I love, love, love handbags. So love your content.
i am proud of you! wanting something others have is natural, it's how we deal with that want is what defines us: some people try to sabotage, others gossip, someone else may get inspired and achieve even more.
Yes, some people are jealous and bitter when you succeed. And yes, there are also people who completely lack self-awareness and modesty as they become more successful.
My son has this type of problem. He is so very careful with his money, no debt at all, owns two houses, ok salary, but makes sure the bills are covered and most important is that he lives BELOW his means. His friends, deep in debt and are very irresponsible with their money with bad habits. Then those same 'friends' act like he is just lucky when NO, he's not lucky he is highly disciplined and that has got him where he is today, while his friends muck about with credit cards and bad habits.
Starting a new job on Monday, I’ve decided I’ll use my longchamp bag and not wear anything designer-ish. My last job I got the comments and the old manager would make underhand comments about me. I’ve learnt so much now moving forwards, I want to stay under the radar, I don’t want people to know much about my life outside of work. Thanks Sophie for a great video!
I had the same problem with few people around me. I always ask them why they're so bothered as I'm not spending their money but mine. That shuts them up.
OMG thank you so much for this video❤️ for the last few days I’ve been thinking about what to do with negative comments coming from my partner’s mother. She hates the fact that I buy things and I get the feeling that even the fact that I earn money. She hits me with her comments whenever she can always making a victim of herself with words like „I couldn”t afford that”. Now I will just say that I con afford what I buy and it gives me pleasure that cannot be compared with any other thing. I spend my own hard-earned money and I deserve the luxury in my life like no one else.
Growing up I had a lot of fake and envious friends, so I have had to deal with this stuff most of my life even though I don't own luxury stuff. Being from a poor country and having more "advantages" than other people because my dad was a doctor and could travel outside the country and bring me very simple things such as toys or nicer clothes that my classmates did not have, I had to deal with classmates being friends with me one week and then deciding the following week that they were going to ignore me or be mean to mean, it was the strangest thing! Thankfully my new set of friends are not like that and for the most part they are happy with my successes.
This is where it's great to be an introvert LOL I don't have many friends and I'm fine with that. Maintaining friendships is so much work. I just don't have the energy to hang out more than every couple of months.
I completely get it. If you’ve come in and out of money, some people are with you throughout and others only when they can feel sorry for you, not when they want what you now have. Money/promotions/big houses can come and go if life throws you a curve ball. Some people are with you to help you catch it. ❤
It is so hard when the jealous and envious people are your relatives 😢I cannot get rid of them but I need to get along with them. The most annoying thing is that they secretly want to have most of the things that I have…
@@marib.1309 You always have a choice as to who you allow in your life. I have made the choice to keep toxic family members out of my life. But you do you.
It’s a huge indicator, if someone loses interest and goes vacant when you are happy/successful BUT very much interested, and there for you when you are in a low place
I think it's also important that as we find success, to introspect and be more self-aware of our privileges. I've indeed lost "friends" who became toxic when they saw me start to enjoy things in life, but on the flipside I also distanced myself from people who drastically changed after gaining success. Like they suddenly forgot where we all came from and they've become condescending, rude to the staff, selfish, speak in a snobbish way, social climbing and so on. I'm afraid to end up like that so I always check if I've become out of touch. It helps to be grateful at all times. I've since kept a small circle of friends and am glad that we're all growing together in our own fields, we celebrate achievements but at the same time are not afraid to tell each other off when one of us gets too high and mighty.
So true walk away i had to do the same with family and even my two nieces as a person you can not always run around for them they need to make a effort as well specially if they are older. jealousy always get in the way. but keep your head up and let them talk and be bitter,
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Envy is a negative emotion that i try to avoid, so if I start feeling envious towards others, I stop myself there and I think: thank you universe for showing me what’s possible 🙏🏻
Sophie here is another story… I had a boss look me up and down and tell me at a Christmas party, in front of a bunch of people, he was glad he didn’t have my Macy’s credit card bill. I quit a few weeks later after I found other work. I started the new year off right. 😉
My best friend has been with me for 54 years. I can’t imagine my life without her. Others that I met at that time and since have dropped out of my life because our lives took different paths and we no longer fit. It isn’t a bad thing. I don’t hold any anger about the fact that we no longer fit. One of the keys is understanding that toxic people don’t have to remain in your life. Removing yourself is a favor to them as well.
Great subject!!!! I encountered the craziest jealous comment a number of years ago from someone who I thought was my best friend. I'd always wanted a Mini Cooper. I went out to eat one day with my husband and there was one for sale at a car dealership we passed, so we stopped to look at it. I ended up buying it, and I was floored when I called her to tell her and her response was "what did you do that for?" in a very catty tone. That was the first of many comments like that and finally I had to cut her out of my circle.
Agree with everything here! BUT playing devils advocate for a mo - I’ve seen people (and influencers) come in to money and start buying luxury and go from humble and grounded to obnoxious and braggy, making sure you know they have more money than you. And in turn, lose followers and friends, so it’s not always jealousy, it’s a switch in them that can turn people off. Like I said, I do however love this video and totally agree! I’m not interested in designer clothes and bag, but love a nice car and pay a fortune for 3 kids in private school - I was ghosted by a close friend the minute I moved from a small house to a big house. She thought I must have won the lottery. After visiting once she refused to come over then blocked me everywhere and even told a mutual friend that she couldn’t bare to see me finally doing well. So I do absolutely get the jealousy!!
I totally agree with you, Sophie! If your boss is horrible, just leave! I once had a boss who turned out to be very unfair and from time to time even rude. Unfairness is something I can't tolerate. Her behavior gave me a lot of anxiety. If you start to have problems with mental health because of work/your boss, there's only one thing to do: leave. And I'm really sorry to say this, but I've never had a problem with a male boss. But certain females...
I think there is another perspective to be taken into account here. Sometimes it’s not jealousy sometimes it’s that people find you superficial. It’s dangerous to assume people are jealous as it’s stops you looking at yourself critically. People who are superficial and focussed on material belongings are often not nice people to be around. Sometimes it’s good to think about what the other person is seeing. - it’s not always jealousy. I have a brother who is very competitive. He’s lost all his friends, he’s very wealthy and makes sure everyone knows it. He’s now very lonely and miserable and it’s not his former friends who are at fault. It’s him. I am very sensitive around others and their situation, it’s about respect for others.
I’ve been on both sides of this equation and very often I think it’s not so much jealousy but a lack of self esteem. People feel inferior looking at someone’s success and that’s not a nice feeling to go through every time you see someone so they distance themselves. Edit: you just said that but I don’t think they wonder why they don’t have what you have, I think they know perfectly well why and it makes them feel horrible about themselves and that’s exhausting over time.
Sophie - thank you for this video. To be honest - I was the poopy friend. The jealous, insecure, bitter friend for a while in my life. It took A LOT of introspection, a lot of building my self-worth, & a lot of self-love & confidence to stop being jealous. Within this process, I too lost a lot of friends because I was the downtrodden a**hole. But some stuck by me & those people are the most kindest & compassionate in the world. I read the comments & its people who were the ones that had people being jealous towards them, & that makes sense. But I just wanted to say that the other side is also human & if they're smart they eventually do realize that being jealous & bitter is simply being disgusting & destructive to themselves. When that realization happens (and again if they're smart), they change. And they keep bettering themselves so that they never feel an ounce of jealousy for anyone again. And you accept the fact that life has many different paths laid out for many different people. Now I don't give into the feeling & try to create a happy life for myself doing the things that I want & never comparing my progress/life with anyone else.
I don't trust people who constantly say others are jealous of them. It usually sounds like people pity them (like a bad marriage they keep bringing up but you're not allowed to say anything) or they might just be narcissistic. Most people are too in their own head to even notice most of the world around them post smartphone. Logically if soooo many people are jealous constantly all the time, then why don't we see more of it? Some people under-rate jealousy like Sophie or some others, like some of the people in these comments, over-estimate it, especially on things that aren't a flex like marriage. What is a dream to one is a nightmare to another. I think you gained an appreciation of how different one person's priorities can be from yours?
Lost a lot of friends after I met my husband, we have a stable & healthy relationship, buikd up our company, have a baby boy together, everything us going so well for us & friends were and are jealous. Before I had a bad relationship, they always called to ask how I am, I thought I had great friends. Turned out they just wanted to know the gossip. Most of them dont want to hear how happy & healthy our life is. Good thing: I have peace now. Once in a while I hear about their Drama... so sad
Thank you for doing this video Sophie. I have suffered serious bullying at work as well as in my private life and your advice is spot on! This video will undoubtedly help a lot of people who are currently feeling very alone.
This is so true, its happened to me in the past and comments when I got married late that I was selfish because I would travel etc. The reality is quality over quantity in people you surround yourself with. The toxic people have insecurities about themselves and it has nothing to do with you. I am now 58 and have a small circle a great Hubby and daughter and have cut out family, friends that weren't loving or supportive. We choose our friends that become family.
I had a friend years ago who told me something very important. She said “I’d rather be alone than being with people just to not be alone”. This stuck with me. My circle is small very small. Like count on one hand small. But 1 good friend is more valuable than 10 colleagues.
I experienced this with my own mother and sister, as a result they caused me so much heartache and drama that I’ve kept them at arms length/not spoken for over 10 years. It’s really sad but some people just can’t stand seeing others happy.
I love your stories, and this one reminds me of when my step brother and his wife did me an ugly one, what you’re talking about, this kind of negativity can also come from family who are supposed to support you and be happy for you So it happened last year, i got a second job which payed really well, and i decided to treat myself and get the cartier panthère watch in the mini size because of my small wrists. I genuinely told my mum that i plan to get that watch, i wasn’t even talking to them but they were listening to our conversation. That mini size was not in stock for a while and i had to wait a couple of months until it arrived, but before it did, my mum texted me to tell me that they went to cartier and that he had bought her the same watch i ordered in the biggest size (which btw was ridiculously big on her wrist), the funny part is that she couldn’t even pronounce the name Cartier correctly and that completely put me off getting that model, when it arrived i still went to the boutique and just told my SA that i changed my mind and got the ballon bleu instead and i’ve been loving it. Not to mention i completely cut both of them off my life not just because of the watch situation but plenty other similar things they did to me over the years and i couldn’t be happier
I played piano and secretly wanted a white baby grand piano. I told my SIL, but no one else. We laughed about it, talked about Elton John and so forth. The next thing I know… within weeks, she bought a white baby grand piano and she didn’t even play piano and never intended to learn. As the years went on I noticed she was jealous of everything and everybody. Such a waste, she died at 62 with a house filled with what she thought everyone else wanted.
The *xbagy* canvas tote bag actually reminds me of Hermes Garden Party, too. Thanks for making this video on suggesting more budget friendly alternatives. Love it!
The biggest one is a girl that always saw me as competition. We were never best friends, but she married my friend. We were at a mutual friends wedding she was there with her three kids, and she had known that my husband and I were trying to have a baby and went through years of infertility treatments and the first thing she says oh it must be nice to be able to afford Louboutins…. She caught me on the wrong day because I did clap back hard and say well I didn’t have three kids back to back to back so maybe that’s why I can’t afford them. I know it wasn’t nice, but she would always make crack like that and I’ve had enough haven’t talked to her since And the other time that sticks out was when I got engaged and I called one of my best friends and the first thing out of her mouth is oh great now I’m the last single one again last time I talked to her
My husband is a lawyer and when he became a partner in his firm and our pay increased substantially, we had family members who found petty excuses to be upset at us and therefore stay away from us. It took me a long time, and plenty of heartache to realise the minor issues they were having were not really the issue, it was just simple jealousy/envy and their own discomfort that we were able to have more. It still feels unfair, but there is nothing I can do about it.
I'm tempted to sell my luxury bags for the same reason; so many jealous eyes, and I don't like it. I spent so much money on these bags just to get glares. Also afraid of being robbed if I carry one while out by myself.
I faced this so much! I outright LIED about where I lived, which supermarket I chose, and lots of other things about myself so that I wouldn't get lots of nasty comments and workplace hatred. I'm glad I work from home now and that I am no longer around so many of those people who said nasty things to me.
Sophie: Frequently, you may hear about the analogy of 'crabs in the bucket.' When one crab sees another one possibly rising to the top of the bucket and escaping from it, other crabs will purposely stymie their efforts. This is true in many areas of life. Here's an example: Expressway traffic: A slow driver in the left lane (our lanes are reversed here in the U.S., of course, and the left lane is intended for faster driving or passing others). You try to get in front of this person via other lanes, and suddenly the slow driver speeds up to purposely thwart your efforts to get in front of him.
💖l can imagine alot of people are jelous of you and David. That is such a shame because l have been watching you for many years now and you are just good people . I am sure you and David know who are the good people .Sophie you are such kind people and you always think about all your followers when showing us all the Beautiful things you always show us things that are not so expensive too. I also love your advice because l hate negativity. 💖
I'm so happy that you finally have some true strong genuine people around you , it will give people who feel abandoned, let down or lost , true hope that there is always the time to find the RIGHT company ! ❤❤
😥 My hubby and I face this now. I'm a introvert so don't care so much, but my husband (a kind man to everyone) is feeling it. His business is thriving and I do well. I'm happy for EVERYONE who does well, no matter what. People we thought we're friends are acting really jealous.- We work hard , but loooove doing for others (Our kids, parents....) now, so-called friends say really snibe remarks, "oh .. y'all are beyond us " * fake laugh*...."how do you get that level of service". ..is that handbag real?" 😮 None of your business! But..work hard play hard. Whatever. 😏 It's why my husband and I never vacation with friends or share much now. It's weird and a little hurtful. That saying....YOU don't change, but those around you DO. 😞
"I love a good *amzclothes* because it helps me decide if I want to buy the real thing or NOT." That part right there. That's IT. I feel like people stigmatize dupes but for me, I pause on large purchases that are trendy or when I feel the overconsumption mania setting in FOR ME. (It's something I struggle with LOL! I'm easily convinced to buy things I don't wear or use. They'll literally have the tags and I'll even forget I bought something and have 2 or 3 of them in my closet.) Love this video!
Believe me dear , being rich and successful surrounded by less or no friends better than being broke and loser surrounded by the world . The best people who rejoice your success and wealth .
I made my boss believe that my husband made good money when in reality, we were making about the same amount. We were saving on some things but splurging on others. Ever since then, my boss has always thought that my husband was buying things for me. She felt better about it, and I didn’t mind.
I drive an expensive car, have a couple of luxury items, a nice home and couldn’t care less what jealous people think. Jealousy is their problem. I’ve lived long enough to see what toxic people can do to your life if you let them.
Once my manager said to me, "If I 'm working here, you can't be working here as well, but if you don't leave, I will make your life work like hell." Reading it in the right way, it can be the best compliment 😂, so I made her happy leaving. The day I left, she came to me with chocolate... and I asked if they were poisoned 😂😂😂
Totally agree with this topic, I have left family and what I thought were friends!! Now I'm so happy and stressed free!! Cheers to you Sophie you and David are wonderful human beings!!!
Amen and 100% about your advice on your boss and quitting. This is a no win situation. I have cried too many tears over this and ended up quitting anyway. I should have quit right from the get go and saved myself so much work anxiety. Your advice is sound on this subject Sophie.
I’m going through this right now! My older female boss is a jealous bag of bile! I have had to stop wearing nice things to work, and just keeping my head down. What a piece of work😢
They always shout to the rooftops about being champions of women.. They need to rephrase that to, I champion women who I identify with or I deem lesser than myself..
Love your approach and all the good advice shared! I'd like to add something. At times, lifestyle changes are impacting friendships a lot, and people grow apart not because of jealousy but because certain areas need our full commitment for success. I've lost friends who decided to prioritize fitness or work ( impossible to find time to chat/ meet, grab a bite etc) for a couple of years and when they had an availability on short notice to meet up, ( once, twice per year) they got pretty upset and accused me of being jealous, when in fact I was happy for them but had my own priorities. Some friendships endure, some move online, some end but on lovely terms with the promise to enjoy each other when time allows with 0 pressure, and some adapt. Yes, these people who aren't happy for you don't really care about you and they will drawn you in their misery and gossip- don't let them cut your wings. But also know that having relationships in life takes time, interest and a bit of effort, so you can't expect to be MIA for years on end and then get upset when people don't bend over backwards to make room for you.
A couple of years after 2 of my best friends (through college and in my 20s and early 30s) married very wealthy men - I had to end the friendships. I was alone and killing myself at work while they were sending me photos from 10 star resorts in Tuscany and Hawaii. Why was I supposed to feel happy for them while I was miserable? It was bad for my mental health. So it works both ways - some people get very lucky in life.. if you don't - just cut them out and you'll feel much better. It doesn't mean that they are bad or you are bad - it just means that the friendship ran its course and time to move on. They can play in their own socioeconomic circles.
Love this. I am finding as I grow older I’m much more confident in my choices and I don’t owe anyone anything ❤ life has been good to me and I celebrate my accomplishments proudly 🎉
I’ve walked away from 2 people without saying anything. Just cut them out. They didn’t need to know why I walked away. I didn’t feel the need to justify. I may bump into them from time to time and I don’t care. I’m not mad at them, I don’t wish anything bad for them, but I’m better off without them. It’s freeing and I have no regrets. It’s really not their business why we are no longer friends.
People are very jealous these days. The cost of living has been very challenging and I guess not many people love their jobs anymore. I like to keep personal info to myself (my future goals/plans, wedding planning/house hunting, my job/salary etc. There’s gonna be genuine people who are really happy for you and they’re the real ones. But I’d still rather not share any information and keep it private. I feel more comfortable that way which also avoids any unnecessary competition/jealousy.
I don't have a juicy story, but I would be #4 if I had high-end stuff. Even for plans or projects, I'm top-secret, mostly because I don't like interference and I don't like nosy questions. People want to give their opinions where sometimes they just need to make an observation with your best interest in mind and even that is subjective. Jealousy is one thing but the ones to watch out for are those that are vindictive in some way, they make up a whole story in their heads about you and "get you back" for reasons only known to them. But you're advice is good, definitely will keep it in mind.
I noticed my long time friend distanced herself from me ever since my husband started to make more money and could afford to buy me luxury goods regularly, she was quite close to my daughter when we were still close friends , but she had completely stopped talking to me after I had my son few years ago. So it wasn’t just my luxury handbags that were making her jealous but also having another baby. She had trouble getting pregnant for many years and I felt so bad for her, but at the same time it’s not my fault.
I don’t need people to like me for the things I have. I don’t care if people dislike me for the things I have. My things make me happy and that’s all that matters. I don’t need more people in my life.
I found that once in my 40’s I had already weeded out the “friends”who were jealous and spiteful. It’s the people in the office. Those are the hardest because you can’t just cut them out. My boss doesn’t really get involved in the personal stuff. It’s some of the people at the same level, my peers who have the jealousy issues. Over the bags, my home, the car, the traveling etc. and the thing is I don’t do jealous. Never have. My mother wouldn’t allow that. So, I’ve always had the “good luck god bless” attitude. But it drives me nuts sometimes that people can be so jealous. They’re not my friends and they’ll not ever be. I see you 8-5 M-F and that’s enough. Also - I wanted to add that we don’t have kids. We are DINKS (dual income no kids) so we are able to do certain things and put our money into areas where some people can’t.
My husband’s sister, so my sister-in-law, is extremely jealous and has been awful to us. She told us once to stay in our own bubble. She says we rub it in that we are so happy and have a magical life. We don’t at all and we are very careful what we say to her. I feel like I’m always checking exactly what I text or say to her; it’s exhausting really. We can’t understand why she wouldn’t be happy for us because we are so happy together. My hubby and I are like you and David. We laugh a lot and really love each other. We haven’t cut her out but we have distanced ourselves from her. Now that we know how she truly feels about us we really don’t care to have her involved in our lives. We like our bubble, lol. I feel so blessed to have my best friend as my hubby.
I had a so-called friend tell me that the day I told her I was engaged that she had to go see her therapist. She had recently gotten divorced after 17 years. I felt bad for her but 2 years had passed and was there for her in her time of need. I dumped her as a friend. I told her that after that statement and the fact that she couldn't be just happy for me we couldn't be friends.
Sorry you’ve had poopy people around you. We all go through it in our own ways! I can’t tell you how many flight attendants spoke down to me when I told them I was going to make it to the other side of the flight deck door! But now all my friends are awesome pilots (and the flight attendants who rallied behind me) Some people don’t like seeing other people succeed. 🤷♀️ Keep those around who lift you up! Much love from Hawaii! 🤙🌺
Forever grateful that jealousy isn’t in my nature, I can appreciate what I have and when the time seems right I work towards my next personal goal whether it’s a holiday or something nice, but it’s always self motivated and not from jealousy!
I agree with everything you said. Last year I got a job at a pharmaceutical company and I was so happy about it, I was so excited, but then when I started, my manager's behavior was so bad with me and I constantly felt embarrassed, stupid and not in the right place. I think it was not about jealousy (will never know) but just he was like that. After a month in this company I quite, because I was crying everyday and was so so broke inside. Now I have lovely manager and coleagues. Yes, maybe it will be difficult , but just don't accept bad working environment!
Thank you for such a great topic! It is sad, but you are definitely right that people can get jealous when good things come in your way (having a direction in your life, promotions, owning luxury items). The only thing you can control is how you react to situations. I have heard from a famous pastor Joel Osteen "Don't let others take away your joy." This has been my motto in life and so far, I am doing just fine 😊
Thank you so much for the respone 👏 I really appreciate the advice! Ever since I have went up financially, It has indeed felt like I have been mourning the loss of the friends who have been disgusting towards me. Thankfully, at work, my bosses and higher above associates are very lovely and are genuinely happy for my success. I'm grateful for those people. The friends who are upset were the ones that were at the same level as me.
Cream rises to the top. You had David, he and you are an inspiration. And when you rise above the din and noise of begrudgerers, you attract the best folk. ❤
My favorite part of this video is the fact that being in a good relationship with David gave you safe place to change and pursue your best. Those are the kind of people we all need to be around.
@@SophieShohetOfficial I lost all my friends when - after battling a serious mh condition - I went on to complete my PhD aged 40. Everyone stuck around for the bad times but nobody stayed - except my husband of two decades - when I finally achieved something good. 😊💘
Hi Sophie!!! I am so lucky with my friends, we have known each other for years and have helped and supported each other through all our ups and downs, and celebrated all our various life achievements. Lucky indeed!! Hugs xx
Sophie everything you have said is so right. I'm in my 30s, single and renting. I have found the most judgemental co-workers are mothers of young children or who are in a couple with a large mortgage they signed up for during covid when it was "cheap" at the time(now huge interest rates), and waste money every 6months on holidays to Bali (cheap holiday in Australia) nights out or buying lunches at work. I made the mistake of bringing a vintage celine macadam canvas bag worth less than $500USD to a work function once. A month later got promoted due to my hard work. Since then I have copped to no end of "now you got a payrise you going to buy a new bag" etc comments. I haven't been on an overseas holiday in years! I have always found young women to be the most judgemental. My male colleagues are the easiest to get along with!
I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you, it’s tough when it’s work colleagues as you can’t distance yourself without quitting. Well done on your promotion! Hugs to you xx
Hello lovely Natalie! I just wanted to write to thank you so much for the love and support, it is SO appreciated, I really am grateful to you for being here, so thank you! 🥰xx
As the saying goes: misery loves company. But what most people don't know that success attracts successful people. You lost miserable fake friends and met beautiful, successful, happy people - you won!
I do feel "inspiring jealousy", even when I heard about Sophie's career path! it always gives me that push because I think : I WANT IT TOO!!! I do believe jealousy is something we want for ourselves but we are not willing to sacrifice, work hard, and achieve and the easiest way to comfort ourselves is to minimise or destroy results of someone who've made it! it's never about someone not deserving it or I could do it better (well... then why don't I have it yet) so I think if person is self aware they can always acknowledge other people's success and it will lead them further !
I found out in life that people don’t want you to have good things,but is ok for them to have it.
Too true!!xx
They don't want you to jump out of your designated lane!
So true. After me losing 80 pounds, my skinny relative once told me she preferred the old me.
My best mate has much more ov a high flying career than I do, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - I'm always happy for the promotions and advances she's made, she's worked hard for them. Her husband is also at the top of his game, both have a pretty good income. They decided to treat themselves to a couple of really nice watches (he'd been lusting after one for as long as I've known him), they got comments mainly from family wondering why they were spending so much money on a watch.
A few years ago, my mate decided she wasn't going any further in her job and got herself a better job in a different section of the company, partly based in the town she lives in, partly based in a big city in the neighbouring country. Again, there were comments from her family (my only thought was if the travelling was sustainable long term, but other than that I was really happy for her. I never voiced my concerns as I knew it was what she wanted. My worries were unfounded, and that's great). She since been promoted, again same type of comments.
Some of it is undoubtedly envy, but some possibly isn't. It comes across as wanting to put others down by one person in particular. This person makes it obvious, at family gatherings that he's there under sufferance, it's like there's a bad smell under his nose. The only reason he might be envious is that my mate got there under her own steam while he got there because his father started the business, and he's the one who has to take over.
yes, the world is full of hypocrites. and envy. that's why it's important to have both money and spirituality in balance and stay away from people who show signs of envy and hypocrisy.
“People want to see you do well, just not better than them”
Ooooooooooooo! Goood one!
A few things will show you who your real, true friends are. Success, failure and illness.
@@Jason-ml3vs Very true!xx
That is so true. I have had chronic fatigue syndrome for many years and early on there were people in my life who just would not understand what I was going through. I was constantly asked why I wasn’t better yet as if I was doing it for my own amusement, or I was also told it was in my head and to get over it. I figured out that what it came down to was that I was inconveniencing them and they had to go. Life has been a lot easier since I detoxed those people and concentrated on looking after myself and keeping my friends who are understanding and supportive.
That's why I had so many friends but I don't have friends anymore and I don't miss them😅
I have this problem with my family members. I am single, childfree, and in my 40s. I am the only female on both sides of my family who does not have children. I have 2 master's degrees and I am almost finished with my doctorate degree. I get comments and jealous behaviors from both sides. One person said, you don't even at least want a pet. On the otherside, I had a family member who had a meltdown when she found out I was working on my doctorate degree. Growing up people would call me stupid and they didn't expect much from me. Once I was playing a game with so called friends and I got paired with someone and they said they didn't want me on their team because I was stupid. While everyone spent time on relationships and raising children I spent that time on my career and education. I own my own house, drive a sports car, and have my advanced education.
Hehehehehheee
Good for you!!!!
Picture the envious glances directed my way: good taste in designs, married, two children, a successful career, a doctorate, a spacious house, and a supportive partner. I am afraid of even leaving a comment here. I’ll admit, it was 70% hard work and 30% luck. Yet, today, my entire day revolves around apologizing for things I never did or misunderstandings. Saying sorry is simpler than causing further upset. I’m expected to love my children but avoid discussing them openly, to assert authority without being labeled as bossy. Sometimes, we find fulfillment in other aspects of work, and quitting would be a shame. Instead, l often take the high road, allow others to get what they need, apologize for any discomfort caused, and move forward. I lead my team with courage, vulnerability and sincerity. Tough road ahead in my career, but I won't quit.
@@sherry5926 Good for you @sherry5926!!!
@@Pinkbear20 it’s called jealousy. It’s in everyone’s gene. I ignore people who are not worth my time and I don’t feel like I owe anyone any explanation why I am where I am, and they are not. We are living in different world, and chasing different goals.
When I got my first well paying job I lost my “best friend”. I took her out on an expensive birthday dinner (hers), she asked me about my salary. I hesitated but told myself that she was my friend and she would be happy for me. As soon as I saw the look on her face, I knew she wasn’t my friend any more. I found better friends.
@@annamari545 I’m sorry this happened to you, awful 😞 xx
@@SophieShohetOfficial I’m not. Replaced one toxic friend with many genuine ones. On the long run, it was a happy outcome. Thanks for sharing your experiences in the video. 😃
Who asks someone about their salary?? Hell, I haven't even asked my siblings about their specific incomes. Really sad
A family friend was jealous of me simply because I had my own business. I wasn't even making much money from my business at the time. A few years later, she asked me to provide career services to her relative who was having a hard time finding a job, and I did. When he got a job through my career service within only a few months, instead of thanking me, she started hating on me. It was strange.
Omg I'm so sorry I don't know if I could recover from that my besties is like a sister for over 30 years
I worked 7 days a week for about a year to buy myself a designer bag. I was so proud of it and I was in work one day and a co-worker asked if it was fake! I quickly told her the only thing I ever fake is my tan! Fashion comes and goes style and humour last forever.
I worked at a small company in my 20s and the owner was my boss. He was quite wealthy and loved to flaunt it in ways that turned people off. BUT he also liked it when his employees had and wore nice things. He viewed it as a flex. “See how good my employees have it? That’s bc the company is so successful that I can afford to pay them well enough that they can afford it.”
He was a very thoughtful guy and did pay well bc he cared about us and that we be able to support our families. I mean, not crazy pay but above average for the industry. He was generous with gifts at the holidays and loved sharing what he had. He was a fun guy, obnoxious quirks as all.
You also DETOXED your "friends". It opened the space for quality people who will respect and support YOUR life choices.
@@cherisemoss7854 a very good point! Yes, now you mention it, it absolutely opened the door to meeting great new people! Hugs to you xx🩷
Sorry, but this seems a little too optimistic to me (and I speak from personal experience). It's certainly good to get rid of toxic people, but let's not tell ourselves that this opens the doors to wonderful encounters. The doors just close, nothing good happened to me after that. Sorry for the bitter tone, but it's (my) reality.
But it's not over yet. We attract people with the same energy, so be positive. ❤
@@veronicavenditti3614I am sorry this has happened to you. I eventually met new people but it did take a long time.
The truly saddest part is when siblings and close family cannot be happy for you and judge you. I’ve seen siblings fall out so many time because of the success of one and not the other. Great video and lesson for all of us.
I grew up extremely poor in Appalachia, my family had no wealth or money, and I lost weight, set out to become a producer, and acheived success in both weight loss and my career, and mind you this has been a thing for about 7 years now and I still have people from my hometown badmouthing me for just existing and doing better for myself. It makes me sad because I've known these people since I was a baby, but honestly I pity them now because if they just worked really hard and found what they are good at, they'd be able to get out too.
I understand that problem only too well. A lot of people don’t like it when you work hard, level up and better yourself. It’s a continuation of the old 19th century saying, “you’re getting above yourself my girl.” I used to get it too, especially from some extended family members. It’s not you, it’s them. They could get off their arses and level up too but it’s easier to envy others for doing it instead. Take no notice of them and keep on your path. Your life can only get better.
TRUE! I lost over 200 pounds and dramatically improved my fitness, my health and my mental attitude at the cost of many friendships. You would think that friends would be happy that you escaped the grim reaper; but no, they feel inadequate. They act like I'm not in hot pursuit of health but I'm aiming instead to make them look bad. I agree100% -move on. In my case, it was uncomfortable enough that I moved to a new city which helped considerably. Love your content, Sophie -keep up the good work!
I used to be a hater, then discovered my self worth and now, catch it when I feel envious of others and remind myself of all the wonderful things I have, have accomplished and the genuine connections I have. There truly is enough for everyone. Just because someone has achieved more than me in some area, doesn't mean they are better than me. It just means we are different. I am genuinely grateful that I don't feel inadequate any more. PS You are adorable and I love, love, love handbags. So love your content.
Great introspection
i am proud of you! wanting something others have is natural, it's how we deal with that want is what defines us: some people try to sabotage, others gossip, someone else may get inspired and achieve even more.
You are to be applauded for your self awareness and initiative. Good for you.
Yes, some people are jealous and bitter when you succeed. And yes, there are also people who completely lack self-awareness and modesty as they become more successful.
I recently detached from a “friend” who did both.
My son has this type of problem. He is so very careful with his money, no debt at all, owns two houses, ok salary, but makes sure the bills are covered and most important is that he lives BELOW his means. His friends, deep in debt and are very irresponsible with their money with bad habits. Then those same 'friends' act like he is just lucky when NO, he's not lucky he is highly disciplined and that has got him where he is today, while his friends muck about with credit cards and bad habits.
Starting a new job on Monday, I’ve decided I’ll use my longchamp bag and not wear anything designer-ish. My last job I got the comments and the old manager would make underhand comments about me. I’ve learnt so much now moving forwards, I want to stay under the radar, I don’t want people to know much about my life outside of work. Thanks Sophie for a great video!
Sometimes I turn my designer bag backwards to stay under the radar as well. 👜
Congratulations on your new job my friend! 🙌I hope you love it xx🩷🩷
Smart!❤
I had the same problem with few people around me. I always ask them why they're so bothered as I'm not spending their money but mine. That shuts them up.
🎯🎯🎯
OMG thank you so much for this video❤️ for the last few days I’ve been thinking about what to do with negative comments coming from my partner’s mother. She hates the fact that I buy things and I get the feeling that even the fact that I earn money. She hits me with her comments whenever she can always making a victim of herself with words like „I couldn”t afford that”. Now I will just say that I con afford what I buy and it gives me pleasure that cannot be compared with any other thing. I spend my own hard-earned money and I deserve the luxury in my life like no one else.
You nailed it. There are always “hater’s” who don’t want to see you succeed.
👍👍👍
Growing up I had a lot of fake and envious friends, so I have had to deal with this stuff most of my life even though I don't own luxury stuff. Being from a poor country and having more "advantages" than other people because my dad was a doctor and could travel outside the country and bring me very simple things such as toys or nicer clothes that my classmates did not have, I had to deal with classmates being friends with me one week and then deciding the following week that they were going to ignore me or be mean to mean, it was the strangest thing! Thankfully my new set of friends are not like that and for the most part they are happy with my successes.
This is where it's great to be an introvert LOL I don't have many friends and I'm fine with that. Maintaining friendships is so much work. I just don't have the energy to hang out more than every couple of months.
I completely get it. If you’ve come in and out of money, some people are with you throughout and others only when they can feel sorry for you, not when they want what you now have.
Money/promotions/big houses can come and go if life throws you a curve ball. Some people are with you to help you catch it. ❤
It is so hard when the jealous and envious people are your relatives 😢I cannot get rid of them but I need to get along with them. The most annoying thing is that they secretly want to have most of the things that I have…
@@marib.1309 You always have a choice as to who you allow in your life. I have made the choice to keep toxic family members out of my life. But you do you.
No offence, just enjoy yourself. You deserve it❣️🇦🇺
I feel happy for girls who can afford their dream items and believe everyone has something great (or will one day have something) to be greatful for.
It’s a huge indicator, if someone loses interest and goes vacant when you are happy/successful BUT very much interested, and there for you when you are in a low place
I think it's also important that as we find success, to introspect and be more self-aware of our privileges. I've indeed lost "friends" who became toxic when they saw me start to enjoy things in life, but on the flipside I also distanced myself from people who drastically changed after gaining success. Like they suddenly forgot where we all came from and they've become condescending, rude to the staff, selfish, speak in a snobbish way, social climbing and so on. I'm afraid to end up like that so I always check if I've become out of touch. It helps to be grateful at all times.
I've since kept a small circle of friends and am glad that we're all growing together in our own fields, we celebrate achievements but at the same time are not afraid to tell each other off when one of us gets too high and mighty.
Excellent point. It can go both ways.
So true walk away i had to do the same with family and even my two nieces as a person you can not always run around for them they need to make a effort as well specially if they are older. jealousy always get in the way. but keep your head up and let them talk and be bitter,
Envy is a negative emotion that i try to avoid, so if I start feeling envious towards others, I stop myself there and I think: thank you universe for showing me what’s possible 🙏🏻
Sophie here is another story… I had a boss look me up and down and tell me at a Christmas party, in front of a bunch of people, he was glad he didn’t have my Macy’s credit card bill. I quit a few weeks later after I found other work. I started the new year off right. 😉
My best friend has been with me for 54 years. I can’t imagine my life without her. Others that I met at that time and since have dropped out of my life because our lives took different paths and we no longer fit. It isn’t a bad thing. I don’t hold any anger about the fact that we no longer fit. One of the keys is understanding that toxic people don’t have to remain in your life. Removing yourself is a favor to them as well.
Great subject!!!! I encountered the craziest jealous comment a number of years ago from someone who I thought was my best friend. I'd always wanted a Mini Cooper. I went out to eat one day with my husband and there was one for sale at a car dealership we passed, so we stopped to look at it. I ended up buying it, and I was floored when I called her to tell her and her response was "what did you do that for?" in a very catty tone. That was the first of many comments like that and finally I had to cut her out of my circle.
Agree with everything here! BUT playing devils advocate for a mo - I’ve seen people (and influencers) come in to money and start buying luxury and go from humble and grounded to obnoxious and braggy, making sure you know they have more money than you. And in turn, lose followers and friends, so it’s not always jealousy, it’s a switch in them that can turn people off.
Like I said, I do however love this video and totally agree! I’m not interested in designer clothes and bag, but love a nice car and pay a fortune for 3 kids in private school - I was ghosted by a close friend the minute I moved from a small house to a big house. She thought I must have won the lottery. After visiting once she refused to come over then blocked me everywhere and even told a mutual friend that she couldn’t bare to see me finally doing well. So I do absolutely get the jealousy!!
I totally agree with you, Sophie! If your boss is horrible, just leave! I once had a boss who turned out to be very unfair and from time to time even rude. Unfairness is something I can't tolerate. Her behavior gave me a lot of anxiety. If you start to have problems with mental health because of work/your boss, there's only one thing to do: leave. And I'm really sorry to say this, but I've never had a problem with a male boss. But certain females...
I think there is another perspective to be taken into account here. Sometimes it’s not jealousy sometimes it’s that people find you superficial. It’s dangerous to assume people are jealous as it’s stops you looking at yourself critically. People who are superficial and focussed on material belongings are often not nice people to be around. Sometimes it’s good to think about what the other person is seeing. - it’s not always jealousy. I have a brother who is very competitive. He’s lost all his friends, he’s very wealthy and makes sure everyone knows it. He’s now very lonely and miserable and it’s not his former friends who are at fault. It’s him. I am very sensitive around others and their situation, it’s about respect for others.
I’ve been on both sides of this equation and very often I think it’s not so much jealousy but a lack of self esteem. People feel inferior looking at someone’s success and that’s not a nice feeling to go through every time you see someone so they distance themselves.
Edit: you just said that but I don’t think they wonder why they don’t have what you have, I think they know perfectly well why and it makes them feel horrible about themselves and that’s exhausting over time.
Sophie - thank you for this video. To be honest - I was the poopy friend. The jealous, insecure, bitter friend for a while in my life. It took A LOT of introspection, a lot of building my self-worth, & a lot of self-love & confidence to stop being jealous. Within this process, I too lost a lot of friends because I was the downtrodden a**hole. But some stuck by me & those people are the most kindest & compassionate in the world. I read the comments & its people who were the ones that had people being jealous towards them, & that makes sense. But I just wanted to say that the other side is also human & if they're smart they eventually do realize that being jealous & bitter is simply being disgusting & destructive to themselves. When that realization happens (and again if they're smart), they change. And they keep bettering themselves so that they never feel an ounce of jealousy for anyone again. And you accept the fact that life has many different paths laid out for many different people. Now I don't give into the feeling & try to create a happy life for myself doing the things that I want & never comparing my progress/life with anyone else.
I don't trust people who constantly say others are jealous of them. It usually sounds like people pity them (like a bad marriage they keep bringing up but you're not allowed to say anything) or they might just be narcissistic. Most people are too in their own head to even notice most of the world around them post smartphone. Logically if soooo many people are jealous constantly all the time, then why don't we see more of it? Some people under-rate jealousy like Sophie or some others, like some of the people in these comments, over-estimate it, especially on things that aren't a flex like marriage. What is a dream to one is a nightmare to another. I think you gained an appreciation of how different one person's priorities can be from yours?
@@seabreeze4559 100% & it took a while to get there. A lot of tough conversations with myself & a lot of trial & error.
Lost a lot of friends after I met my husband, we have a stable & healthy relationship, buikd up our company, have a baby boy together, everything us going so well for us & friends were and are jealous.
Before I had a bad relationship, they always called to ask how I am, I thought I had great friends. Turned out they just wanted to know the gossip.
Most of them dont want to hear how happy & healthy our life is.
Good thing: I have peace now.
Once in a while I hear about their Drama... so sad
Thank you for doing this video Sophie. I have suffered serious bullying at work as well as in my private life and your advice is spot on! This video will undoubtedly help a lot of people who are currently feeling very alone.
You’re 100% correct about all of these examples! Spot on..
This is so true, its happened to me in the past and comments when I got married late that I was selfish because I would travel etc. The reality is quality over quantity in people you surround yourself with. The toxic people have insecurities about themselves and it has nothing to do with you. I am now 58 and have a small circle a great Hubby and daughter and have cut out family, friends that weren't loving or supportive. We choose our friends that become family.
I had a friend years ago who told me something very important.
She said “I’d rather be alone than being with people just to not be alone”.
This stuck with me. My circle is small very small. Like count on one hand small. But 1 good friend is more valuable than 10 colleagues.
I experienced this with my own mother and sister, as a result they caused me so much heartache and drama that I’ve kept them at arms length/not spoken for over 10 years. It’s really sad but some people just can’t stand seeing others happy.
I love your stories, and this one reminds me of when my step brother and his wife did me an ugly one, what you’re talking about, this kind of negativity can also come from family who are supposed to support you and be happy for you
So it happened last year, i got a second job which payed really well, and i decided to treat myself and get the cartier panthère watch in the mini size because of my small wrists. I genuinely told my mum that i plan to get that watch, i wasn’t even talking to them but they were listening to our conversation. That mini size was not in stock for a while and i had to wait a couple of months until it arrived, but before it did, my mum texted me to tell me that they went to cartier and that he had bought her the same watch i ordered in the biggest size (which btw was ridiculously big on her wrist), the funny part is that she couldn’t even pronounce the name Cartier correctly and that completely put me off getting that model, when it arrived i still went to the boutique and just told my SA that i changed my mind and got the ballon bleu instead and i’ve been loving it.
Not to mention i completely cut both of them off my life not just because of the watch situation but plenty other similar things they did to me over the years and i couldn’t be happier
I played piano and secretly wanted a white baby grand piano. I told my SIL, but no one else. We laughed about it, talked about Elton John and so forth. The next thing I know… within weeks, she bought a white baby grand piano and she didn’t even play piano and never intended to learn. As the years went on I noticed she was jealous of everything and everybody. Such a waste, she died at 62 with a house filled with what she thought everyone else wanted.
That is freaking depressing.
@Arlene4HO
Wow. How sad for your sister.
Wow 😲
did you inherit the piano?
@@seabreeze4559 No, I wrote above how they had a difficult time unloading it.
The *xbagy* canvas tote bag actually reminds me of Hermes Garden Party, too. Thanks for making this video on suggesting more budget friendly alternatives. Love it!
The biggest one is a girl that always saw me as competition. We were never best friends, but she married my friend. We were at a mutual friends wedding she was there with her three kids, and she had known that my husband and I were trying to have a baby and went through years of infertility treatments and the first thing she says oh it must be nice to be able to afford Louboutins…. She caught me on the wrong day because I did clap back hard and say well I didn’t have three kids back to back to back so maybe that’s why I can’t afford them. I know it wasn’t nice, but she would always make crack like that and I’ve had enough haven’t talked to her since
And the other time that sticks out was when I got engaged and I called one of my best friends and the first thing out of her mouth is oh great now I’m the last single one again last time I talked to her
My husband is a lawyer and when he became a partner in his firm and our pay increased substantially, we had family members who found petty excuses to be upset at us and therefore stay away from us. It took me a long time, and plenty of heartache to realise the minor issues they were having were not really the issue, it was just simple jealousy/envy and their own discomfort that we were able to have more. It still feels unfair, but there is nothing I can do about it.
This is absolutely true, thank you for speaking on this. It truly does go far beyond luxury goods. Bravo Sophie! ❤
I'm tempted to sell my luxury bags for the same reason; so many jealous eyes, and I don't like it. I spent so much money on these bags just to get glares. Also afraid of being robbed if I carry one while out by myself.
I faced this so much! I outright LIED about where I lived, which supermarket I chose, and lots of other things about myself so that I wouldn't get lots of nasty comments and workplace hatred.
I'm glad I work from home now and that I am no longer around so many of those people who said nasty things to me.
Sophie: Frequently, you may hear about the analogy of 'crabs in the bucket.' When one crab sees another one possibly rising to the top of the bucket and escaping from it, other crabs will purposely stymie their efforts. This is true in many areas of life. Here's an example: Expressway traffic: A slow driver in the left lane (our lanes are reversed here in the U.S., of course, and the left lane is intended for faster driving or passing others). You try to get in front of this person via other lanes, and suddenly the slow driver speeds up to purposely thwart your efforts to get in front of him.
Your shirt looks like you're wearing a backpack and you're going to stand up any time and go on a hike 😂
@@perthfanny3017 Nice 👌
This is one of the best videos you have done. IVE watched it a few times. Just make sure people have a job before they quit😅
💖l can imagine alot of people are jelous of you and David. That is such a shame because l have been watching you for many years now and you are just good people . I am sure you and David know who are the good people .Sophie you are such kind people and you always think about all your followers when showing us all the Beautiful things you always show us things that are not so expensive too. I also love your advice because l hate negativity. 💖
I'm so happy that you finally have some true strong genuine people around you , it will give people who feel abandoned, let down or lost , true hope that there is always the time to find the RIGHT company ! ❤❤
😥 My hubby and I face this now. I'm a introvert so don't care so much, but my husband (a kind man to everyone) is feeling it. His business is thriving and I do well. I'm happy for EVERYONE who does well, no matter what. People we thought we're friends are acting really jealous.- We work hard , but loooove doing for others (Our kids, parents....) now, so-called friends say really snibe remarks, "oh .. y'all are beyond us " * fake laugh*...."how do you get that level of service". ..is that handbag real?" 😮 None of your business! But..work hard play hard. Whatever. 😏 It's why my husband and I never vacation with friends or share much now. It's weird and a little hurtful. That saying....YOU don't change, but those around you DO. 😞
"I love a good *amzclothes* because it helps me decide if I want to buy the real thing or NOT." That part right there. That's IT. I feel like people stigmatize dupes but for me, I pause on large purchases that are trendy or when I feel the overconsumption mania setting in FOR ME. (It's something I struggle with LOL! I'm easily convinced to buy things I don't wear or use. They'll literally have the tags and I'll even forget I bought something and have 2 or 3 of them in my closet.) Love this video!
Believe me dear , being rich and successful surrounded by less or no friends better than being broke and loser surrounded by the world . The best people who rejoice your success and wealth .
I made my boss believe that my husband made good money when in reality, we were making about the same amount. We were saving on some things but splurging on others. Ever since then, my boss has always thought that my husband was buying things for me. She felt better about it, and I didn’t mind.
I drive an expensive car, have a couple of luxury items, a nice home and couldn’t care less what jealous people think. Jealousy is their problem. I’ve lived long enough to see what toxic people can do to your life if you let them.
They are envious not jealous
Once my manager said to me, "If I 'm working here, you can't be working here as well, but if you don't leave, I will make your life work like hell." Reading it in the right way, it can be the best compliment 😂, so I made her happy leaving. The day I left, she came to me with chocolate... and I asked if they were poisoned 😂😂😂
Wtf is wrong with someone to say that at work.. yikes
Totally agree with this topic, I have left family and what I thought were friends!! Now I'm so happy and stressed free!! Cheers to you Sophie you and David are wonderful human beings!!!
Amen and 100% about your advice on your boss and quitting. This is a no win situation. I have cried too many tears over this and ended up quitting anyway. I should have quit right from the get go and saved myself so much work anxiety. Your advice is sound on this subject Sophie.
Some people are nosy and jealous so I’m ready to clap back with audacity and/or authority when they offer TOXIC unsolicited remarks. 🗣️
Whenever I had an (older) female boss it was horrible. With male bosses it was always chill!
Agree. An older female boss is the worst. Always in competition...never a cheerleader.
I’m going through this right now! My older female boss is a jealous bag of bile! I have had to stop wearing nice things to work, and just keeping my head down. What a piece of work😢
@@KehindeGlam damn, I know that well. Hope you can find another job.
They always shout to the rooftops about being champions of women.. They need to rephrase that to, I champion women who I identify with or I deem lesser than myself..
Love your approach and all the good advice shared! I'd like to add something. At times, lifestyle changes are impacting friendships a lot, and people grow apart not because of jealousy but because certain areas need our full commitment for success. I've lost friends who decided to prioritize fitness or work ( impossible to find time to chat/ meet, grab a bite etc) for a couple of years and when they had an availability on short notice to meet up, ( once, twice per year) they got pretty upset and accused me of being jealous, when in fact I was happy for them but had my own priorities. Some friendships endure, some move online, some end but on lovely terms with the promise to enjoy each other when time allows with 0 pressure, and some adapt. Yes, these people who aren't happy for you don't really care about you and they will drawn you in their misery and gossip- don't let them cut your wings. But also know that having relationships in life takes time, interest and a bit of effort, so you can't expect to be MIA for years on end and then get upset when people don't bend over backwards to make room for you.
A couple of years after 2 of my best friends (through college and in my 20s and early 30s) married very wealthy men - I had to end the friendships. I was alone and killing myself at work while they were sending me photos from 10 star resorts in Tuscany and Hawaii. Why was I supposed to feel happy for them while I was miserable? It was bad for my mental health. So it works both ways - some people get very lucky in life.. if you don't - just cut them out and you'll feel much better. It doesn't mean that they are bad or you are bad - it just means that the friendship ran its course and time to move on. They can play in their own socioeconomic circles.
This! Luck is so random and so unfair!
When I remodeled my house so many people got triggered. You know who your real friends are when you do/get something great and they’re not happy.
This whole video has big sister energy!!!
People are so fickle in more ways than one.. People only want you for what they want you for...
Wishing you all the very best 💖
Love this. I am finding as I grow older I’m much more confident in my choices and I don’t owe anyone anything ❤ life has been good to me and I celebrate my accomplishments proudly 🎉
I’ve walked away from 2 people without saying anything. Just cut them out. They didn’t need to know why I walked away. I didn’t feel the need to justify. I may bump into them from time to time and I don’t care. I’m not mad at them, I don’t wish anything bad for them, but I’m better off without them. It’s freeing and I have no regrets. It’s really not their business why we are no longer friends.
People are very jealous these days. The cost of living has been very challenging and I guess not many people love their jobs anymore.
I like to keep personal info to myself (my future goals/plans, wedding planning/house hunting, my job/salary etc.
There’s gonna be genuine people who are really happy for you and they’re the real ones. But I’d still rather not share any information and keep it private. I feel more comfortable that way which also avoids any unnecessary competition/jealousy.
I know what you mean, I’m exactly the same!
I don't have a juicy story, but I would be #4 if I had high-end stuff. Even for plans or projects, I'm top-secret, mostly because I don't like interference and I don't like nosy questions. People want to give their opinions where sometimes they just need to make an observation with your best interest in mind and even that is subjective. Jealousy is one thing but the ones to watch out for are those that are vindictive in some way, they make up a whole story in their heads about you and "get you back" for reasons only known to them. But you're advice is good, definitely will keep it in mind.
I noticed my long time friend distanced herself from me ever since my husband started to make more money and could afford to buy me luxury goods regularly, she was quite close to my daughter when we were still close friends , but she had completely stopped talking to me after I had my son few years ago. So it wasn’t just my luxury handbags that were making her jealous but also having another baby. She had trouble getting pregnant for many years and I felt so bad for her, but at the same time it’s not my fault.
You are not wrong| it’s SO SAD when people you genuinely love are jealous to the core!
Sophia I just love your energy and perspective. You always make me think, which is my jam!
That’s why you can only be friends with ppl in the same league as you are. That’s just the way it is …level up and leave the haters behind
I don’t need people to like me for the things I have. I don’t care if people dislike me for the things I have. My things make me happy and that’s all that matters. I don’t need more people in my life.
This was exactly what I needed to hear, exactly today. Thank you!
I found that once in my 40’s I had already weeded out the “friends”who were jealous and spiteful. It’s the people in the office. Those are the hardest because you can’t just cut them out. My boss doesn’t really get involved in the personal stuff. It’s some of the people at the same level, my peers who have the jealousy issues. Over the bags, my home, the car, the traveling etc. and the thing is I don’t do jealous. Never have. My mother wouldn’t allow that. So, I’ve always had the “good luck god bless” attitude. But it drives me nuts sometimes that people can be so jealous. They’re not my friends and they’ll not ever be. I see you 8-5 M-F and that’s enough. Also - I wanted to add that we don’t have kids. We are DINKS (dual income no kids) so we are able to do certain things and put our money into areas where some people can’t.
They are envious
My husband’s sister, so my sister-in-law, is extremely jealous and has been awful to us. She told us once to stay in our own bubble. She says we rub it in that we are so happy and have a magical life. We don’t at all and we are very careful what we say to her. I feel like I’m always checking exactly what I text or say to her; it’s exhausting really. We can’t understand why she wouldn’t be happy for us because we are so happy together. My hubby and I are like you and David. We laugh a lot and really love each other. We haven’t cut her out but we have distanced ourselves from her. Now that we know how she truly feels about us we really don’t care to have her involved in our lives. We like our bubble, lol. I feel so blessed to have my best friend as my hubby.
I had a so-called friend tell me that the day I told her I was engaged that she had to go see her therapist. She had recently gotten divorced after 17 years. I felt bad for her but 2 years had passed and was there for her in her time of need. I dumped her as a friend. I told her that after that statement and the fact that she couldn't be just happy for me we couldn't be friends.
Happy Wednesday everyone 😊. Thanks for sharing Sophie. Some folks just feel a bit intimidated when they see someone else do well which is unfortunate.
Sorry you’ve had poopy people around you. We all go through it in our own ways! I can’t tell you how many flight attendants spoke down to me when I told them I was going to make it to the other side of the flight deck door!
But now all my friends are awesome pilots (and the flight attendants who rallied behind me)
Some people don’t like seeing other people succeed. 🤷♀️
Keep those around who lift you up!
Much love from Hawaii! 🤙🌺
Forever grateful that jealousy isn’t in my nature, I can appreciate what I have and when the time seems right I work towards my next personal goal whether it’s a holiday or something nice, but it’s always self motivated and not from jealousy!
Love 💗 the input on how to navigate work place problems, deal with haters and the psychology behind it. Thank you 😊 Sophie for making it. - Amy
I agree with everything you said. Last year I got a job at a pharmaceutical company and I was so happy about it, I was so excited, but then when I started, my manager's behavior was so bad with me and I constantly felt embarrassed, stupid and not in the right place. I think it was not about jealousy (will never know) but just he was like that. After a month in this company I quite, because I was crying everyday and was so so broke inside. Now I have lovely manager and coleagues. Yes, maybe it will be difficult , but just don't accept bad working environment!
I’m sorry this happened to you my friend, very glad to hear you got out and have a nice manager now!🥰 hugs xx
Thank you for such a great topic! It is sad, but you are definitely right that people can get jealous when good things come in your way (having a direction in your life, promotions, owning luxury items). The only thing you can control is how you react to situations. I have heard from a famous pastor Joel Osteen "Don't let others take away your joy." This has been my motto in life and so far, I am doing just fine 😊
Thank you so much for the respone 👏 I really appreciate the advice! Ever since I have went up financially, It has indeed felt like I have been mourning the loss of the friends who have been disgusting towards me. Thankfully, at work, my bosses and higher above associates are very lovely and are genuinely happy for my success. I'm grateful for those people. The friends who are upset were the ones that were at the same level as me.
Cream rises to the top. You had David, he and you are an inspiration. And when you rise above the din and noise of begrudgerers, you attract the best folk. ❤
I agree! Positive attracts positive for sure! Hugs to you my friend xx🩷🩷
My favorite part of this video is the fact that being in a good relationship with David gave you safe place to change and pursue your best. Those are the kind of people we all need to be around.
@@SophieShohetOfficial I lost all my friends when - after battling a serious mh condition - I went on to complete my PhD aged 40. Everyone stuck around for the bad times but nobody stayed - except my husband of two decades - when I finally achieved something good. 😊💘
Hi Sophie!!! I am so lucky with my friends, we have known each other for years and have helped and supported each other through all our ups and downs, and celebrated all our various life achievements. Lucky indeed!! Hugs xx
Sophie everything you have said is so right. I'm in my 30s, single and renting. I have found the most judgemental co-workers are mothers of young children or who are in a couple with a large mortgage they signed up for during covid when it was "cheap" at the time(now huge interest rates), and waste money every 6months on holidays to Bali (cheap holiday in Australia) nights out or buying lunches at work. I made the mistake of bringing a vintage celine macadam canvas bag worth less than $500USD to a work function once. A month later got promoted due to my hard work. Since then I have copped to no end of "now you got a payrise you going to buy a new bag" etc comments. I haven't been on an overseas holiday in years! I have always found young women to be the most judgemental. My male colleagues are the easiest to get along with!
I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you, it’s tough when it’s work colleagues as you can’t distance yourself without quitting. Well done on your promotion! Hugs to you xx
Love your tips and advice Sophie, I’ve been following you over the years and you’re 10/10 great. Thank you ❤
Hello lovely Natalie! I just wanted to write to thank you so much for the love and support, it is SO appreciated, I really am grateful to you for being here, so thank you! 🥰xx
I agree with everything you said.
Not everyone can go to the next level with you.
I have realised that since moving to the UK - Europeans are super envious. You get less of that in North America.
As the saying goes: misery loves company. But what most people don't know that success attracts successful people. You lost miserable fake friends and met beautiful, successful, happy people - you won!
YES, Sophie!! I agree with all of this.
Compatibility is key…pray 4 right friends to come in your life…n haters be removed peacefully 😊❤
I thought you were wearing a backpack 👀 😂 😂
Yes me too! I thought the pink was the back strap of a pink rucksack! 🎒 💕
I do feel "inspiring jealousy", even when I heard about Sophie's career path! it always gives me that push because I think : I WANT IT TOO!!!
I do believe jealousy is something we want for ourselves but we are not willing to sacrifice, work hard, and achieve and the easiest way to comfort ourselves is to minimise or destroy results of someone who've made it!
it's never about someone not deserving it or I could do it better (well... then why don't I have it yet)
so I think if person is self aware they can always acknowledge other people's success and it will lead them further !